CHAPTER 72

A sprinkle, A morsel, A bed:

A galaxy of care.

Part 4.

I do not own skip beat. Yoshiki Nakamura does.

Devilish smirk of the this fanfic author as she imagine readers reaction...

"I really think you shouldn't worry that much and I'll warm up eventually when the fever killers do their working but – ," she started, instantly getting his attention, and kinda regretting her move already but not able to let it go.

He stopped his march and prompted her before she could think about it thoroughly.

"But?"

"…"

"…"

He arched his eyebrows pointedly, and she sighed.

" … well, it would most likely be troubling you and really I'm not sure it's my brightest idea," she began in some sheepish mumbles, "but, but if you don't mind too much, maybe, hum … help me with that?" she settled for with so much eloquence.

He was back on his knees and in front of her not so much as ten seconds later and looking at her with interrogation in his eyes. He kept staring at her in silence, waiting with evidence for her to precise her thought.

She groaned, pulled at her hair, harshly ran her hand into it before Ren stopped her, and she tried to come up with anything to either back out of this or explain it without making it as embarrassing as it felt.

At the end, she failed and resolved to just explain it simply. She felt even more ashamed but knew what it was all about. It was her greed. She was totally taking advantage of the situation and of his kind heart to try to get closer. If only for an instant. She wanted to slap some sense into herself but used her sickness as a lame excuse to herself for a behaviour, and gave up.

" … I mean, if you don't mind too much … you could, in theory, help me stay warm with yourself?" She ended it as a question, cursed herself for making it sound like a request, and thought she wanted to dig a hole to hide until her fever would make her pass out.

He blinked at her. Twice.

Seconds ticked by without him responding, making this torture all the more roasting until she had to say something.

"It was just an idea in passing," she started back with as much of a convincing chuckle as she could pretend, "No need to freak out."

"No! Yes, sure. Okay." He said in a rush and it was her turn to stare, confused. What was he trying to say? And to which of her last sentences was he referring to?

He chuckled, clearly laughing at her expression and beaming such a charming smile her stomach jumped.

"Of course I don't mind." He finally answered, mostly sparkling at this point and she stayed dumbfounded he wasn't opposing more resistance than that. "In fact," he added with the same grin, "I'm really happy you didn't hesitate to ask."

She gaped at that but he again, didn't let her time to process his words, lift the several layers of covers and blankets that covered her before slipping in between them and her body until he was sitting behind her; cradling her legs and backside between his enormous ones and circling her waist with one arm while the other wrapped back all the blankets around them both.

Oh, she had had the most stupid marvellous idea. She had a shiver when he disengaged the covers but soon his body and warmth were all around her, and she had to resist doing whatever she wanted. When she was this close. When he was allowing him to be right against him. She could indulge and fantasize all of this was more. That he was holding her because he wanted to. She felt like her cat on this second of her existence. She wanted to purr and rub herself on his chest. She felt so perfectly content in the heart of his arms. Safe and sound, like nothing bad could happen all of sudden. She tilted her head back without really thinking about it and closed her eyes, seeking more contact as she thirstily breathed in his refreshing comforting scent, and rested her upper body against his torso as her form naturally relaxed. In response and in a nearly perfect opposite mirror, the cage of his arms wrapped around her middle tensed ever-so-slightly before turning to steel as they tightened around her shape. Now, she had absolutely no chance to escape, in the unlikely case she had wanted to. But right, she was indulging too much, wasn't she? That's why he had tensed, right?

But she couldn't muster the desire to move. Much less the action. She felt light-headed and comfy; was it because of that she didn't feel like she was thinking straight? Was it the fever? Or something else?

"Making me your prisoner, aren't you?" She joked, hoping her mind and body would be willing to cooperate if he was the one to explicitly state he was making her uncomfortable. But still, not understanding how that would fit in the fact he had mostly made she couldn't move away unless he'd released her.

He didn't reply, he didn't say a word, he didn't move; in fact, it was as he had turned to stone.

She turned her head up and rested her cheek on his shoulder for support – oh yes, it was the fever – , she felt too weak to be natural, unless Mr. Fairy touch was akin a real drug. She hoped to see his expression that way but only got a glimpse of some unreadable look griming his face.

She succeeded in extirpating her right hand and softly placed its palm on his cheek to incline his regard to her, thus finally grabbing his attention.

His eyes glazed over her, worrying her what by what she saw. His expression was frost in some softened touched look yet his gaze was troubled by shadows and swimming with something deep. But he dissimulated it. Her best impression would be it was as if he had dipped his toes in something soft before a cold blizzard would have come kill it off. Was it link to his past? Had she done something? She didn't know. She tried to push her fever and cloudy mind away.

"You okay?"She inquired and mustered her will to move as she asked next question. "Is it awkward? Am I bothering you? Is it something else?"

She tried to move away to give him some space and be able to talk about what was wrong but she didn't have the occasion to. His arms squeezed her to the point of making all of her air be expelled from her lungs, and she coughed.

"Don't you dare!" he said with something her mind tried to trick her into believing was desperation. He relaxed his hold some as soon as he noticed she couldn't breathe, and she took the much needed breath. He grabbed the hand that had been at his face and hid his face in the crook of her neck. Then he mumbled in a teasing tone that pained to be recognizable and were very much a stretch with how tense he appeared. "You are supposed to stay close to your heater if you want to stay warm."

She rubbed her thumb on his hand. Something was wrong. Something had ticked him. She could see it though she didn't know what. Or why.

"You okay?" She asked again and he sighed before a gruff sound looking like a chuckle reached her ears.

" … I think I'm just a bit tired."He eventually said but without lifting back his head from its position.

"Ren." She stretched. They both knew it was not only that. He stayed silent.

She sighed. She didn't want to force him to talk if he didn't want to.

"Kuon. Ren – … if I can do something or – …"She cut her own sentence when he reacted by squeezing her tighter.

" … just – … give me a minute." He demanded and she silently nodded.

She rubbed one of the arms that was holding her and softly caressed his head, trying to give him some comfort for whatever was happening. He sighed and relaxed some more, and they stayed like that for a long while until he finally looked up with akin of a sad expression on his face. But he was right, he looked tired. But he took a menacing glare when she tried to give him some space again.

Screw this.

"Fine," She grumbled, "I won't try to give you some space anymore. I'll be your plushie and you, my heater. No refund or complain later."

He grinned happily and nodded before settling back against the couch in an all-too-inviting position, making sure he would make himself as unavoidably comfortable as possible.

"You're so doing it on purpose." She commented as she implicitly accepted the invitation by settling her shape back against him.

"I thought you said 'no complaint', already changing your mind?" he asked and she was relieved when she could finally see genuine joy back in his eyes.

"Who said it was one?" She retorted. "I won't be the one in trouble when you got me addicted to this."

"I'll accommodate, I'm sure." He said with even more merriness returning. "And who said it isn't a great scheme planned from the start?"

She giggled, finding the idea very appealing, but her laugh turned to a yawn before she could finally reply.

"If that's the case, you are very skilful at it."

He shook his head in obvious amusement but didn't comment on this and brought back the covers that had fallen earlier around her.

"For now, I think it's enough energy spent for you, you should stay put. Plus I thought we had a movie going?" he said, bringing back her attention to the screen with a wave of his head.

She nodded and they pushed play again.

They watched the last part of this movie and two others without pretty much moving a shred – she had given up fighting against her fever and herself for now – and she had wanted to stay where she had been anyway. And that's resumed what she could recall. After that it got blurry and she guessed she must have fallen asleep.

Because when she eventually woke up she was no longer in a sitting position. In fact, she wondered where she was currently lying. It was kind of dark inside and her mind wasn't properly awake yet. She tried to shake off the webs in her mind, and deciphered there was in fact a fair thread of grey morning light coming from the window of the living room? Apparently.

That's the moment her body's senses decided to kick in, nearly making her jump out of her skin and turning as immobile as a stone.

Seriously?!

Was she dreaming? Did she hit her head somewhere yesterday?

Did this really happen?

She closed back her eyes, not wanted the vision to disappear. She remembered her fever and how cold she had felt. She remembered her incongruous proposition. And his easy acceptance.

But this, waking up like this was akin to her most buried dreams. Not real. Fictions she was planning to never reveal. Sweet fantasies that kept her heart a little warmer during the lonely cold nights. The ones where she missed him the most. But those visions would always disappear in the morning.

She kept her lids shut, letting her other senses take over. Letting her feel. Touch.

Her cheek was resting on a silky texture but she could feel the firm upper arm under. Her head was actually nestled at the junction of his arm and shoulder, barely a inch away from being tucked under his chin. Or so she was under the impression.

Her damn hair felt all twisted around her form but she could feel the strong fingers, owned by the same arm she was resting upon, tangled at the base of her skull, and that vastly made up for it. The light pressure from his fingers' pads leading out an invigorating shudder from her.

Her left shoulder was pressed into the ground barely cushioned by one of the covers that had been around her yesterday evening, and that made her realize they were sleeping on the ground. Did he fall asleep soon after her? How did they end up like this?

She smiled bitterly. Was she allowed to feel this happy to be sick if it made possible to be in this situation? It wasn't right, but she couldn't help feeling happy.

She could sense the weight of his other arm curled around her waist, and then his other hand plastered between her shoulders' blades, covering them completely.

What came to her notice after that was how one of his large thighs was slipped in between her owns, and she didn't need lights to feel what happened next. Her blood running and warming up terribly at his very firm morning condition pressed a hair above the meeting of her legs.

Oh gosh … holy fairy I can't believe it…

One of her own hands was placed high on his chest and the other-

She nearly cursed aloud.

Fuck-fuck-fuck.

The other was at his hip, fingers under his tee and pressed at what felt like low on the left side of his appealing 'V'.

Her thumb subconsciously rubbed on the light depressing line she could feel under it, appreciating the warmth touch of his skin under her fingers, as she imagined the light dip before she swiftly removed her hand when she noticed what she was doing.

Sure. Molest him while you are at it!

She opened her eyes after that, deciding no illusion was worth abusing his trust, but it was only to be met with his sleeping face, much clearer in the now brighter glow.

He had remained in deep slumber and didn't seem to have been bothered the least by her most inappropriate liberties she had just taken on his body. Hell, a half-smile had even tucked up one corner of his lips, so non-bothered was he. She felt sickened by what she just did.

His breathing was barely perceptible. Deep yet soft. His chest heaving lightly and pressing against her own slightly each time it did with how close they were at the moment.

Her eyes followed the move and began to stink. It was so unfair.

She wanted this. More than anything. She wanted to wake up every morning by his side.

She wanted to see him sleep every single day of her life.

She wanted to touch him, feel him.

She wanted to be held like this in his arms.

She wanted to bring him joy and pleasure. To be happy with him. She wanted everything.

But she couldn't. And wouldn't. Because it would never happen. This was just a stolen moment. Basically, her taking advantage of him when he was defenceless.

Something allowed because she was sick. Something allowed as long as it was in a friendship cadre. As long as there was nothing more. And only in those conditions.

This was just a lie, a fake, nothing more than the illusion of something more.

She had always known it wouldn't be. She had never hoped it would be different. She knew it couldn't. So why did it still hurt so much, even when she didn't even have hope for it?

Was it because it was so sweet? Because she felt so perfectly happy in this warm false robbed moment? Because she knew she would have to leave his arms and forget about anything she felt, any happiness she touched.

Or was it because it felt so fucking right?!

Maybe. She didn't know. Maybe it was all of that or none of it but something else altogether.

But she didn't get it. She didn't understand how it could hurt so damn much when there wasn't even a shred of hope to thorn in her sides.

Yet, despite everything or maybe because of it, because of this false rightness she felt, she couldn't bare it.

She couldn't bear to rip herself from this. From him. She knew she should but she couldn't.

Even when tears escaped out of her control and with the potent urge to hide them.

Even then, she couldn't.

She just stayed there, shed the tears that needed to run, in the arms of a sleeping man that didn't even know how much she adored him until she could collect herself.

Kyoko cursed at her lack of regulation and wondered from where those emotive bouts came out. There was nothing new under the clouds. It was all old news so why was it worsening? Why had she fewer restraints than before?

Sure, when she needed to let go once in a while if she had bottled up, she would. She knew how she worked.

But this, this was far more often.

She sighed and shot a half-angry glare at the sleeping face right under her nose. This man was driving her nuts. It was like he was breaking her usual control on her emotions piece by piece and shredding away any hidden nook she had in her mind where she used to go to not bother others with her troubles and feelings.

But no, he tore her bare until all her rawness and clumsy sides were apparent and free to his eyes. Even when the damn man was sleeping, it was still working! Now, just being close to him was enough, apparently.

For fuck's sake!

He was getting rid of all her defences. And like it was nothing. If he had woken up before she collected herself, she wouldn't have been able to hide it. Not anymore. Not in front of him. When there is something I don't want to say to him, it's getting harder and harder to dissimulate anything. He always guesses there is more recently. If there is anything I don't want him to know, I only get out of it with saying I don't want to talk about it these days. But he knows there is something I'm not saying. For now, the only thing she really managed to still hide was about those feelings but even for that, it was slowly coming to a wall. I can still cover it up with half-lies and truths but for how long? How long until he calls me out?

How can I hide how I feel about him if he can break apart my defences just by being him?! By simply being there?!

How?!

She didn't know how long she stayed there, observing him and painting his face's lines in her mind again and again; thinking.

She wanted to enjoy the moment but she couldn't help be reminded she needed to be sure. At some point, though, she got frustrated with her difficulties to think clearly. So she decided to wait to have fully recovered to thoroughly think this through.

Still.

He really is so cute, sleeping so deeply like that. Cute and beautiful.

She sighed.

Criminally handsome.

Damn man … she thought once again despite the soft smile glued to her face, and that's the moment Ren's eyes opened.

They stared at each other but Kyoko couldn't take it and broke the silence quickly.

"H-Hi."She greeted, starting to feel embarrassed by the situation and worrying what he would say but unable to move. And more, knowing she should make any sign of wanting to be released from those arms but unable to find the thinnest thread of will to do so.

… Let me stay…

She opened her mouth. Ready to beg to have a little place in his arms for her. That it would keep for her. Wanting to demand his attention. Forever more.

She closed her mouth.

Ten seconds more and I will push away…

"Hi." He eventually said, his eyes barely opened and fully immobile besides his lips; after another while to stare at her in a silence that made her reluctance to pull away all the more criminal and awkward to her. She should have moved but she was finding herself excuses. He held her so secured and closely, it would be hard to remove herself without making his awakening very abrupt. Or pull his arms out rudely. He should take his time. She wasn't really bothered by this. He hadn't complained yet. She could wait.

He looked as if he wasn't properly awake anyway as he yawned widely and blinked his sleepiness away. She sighed. It was time.

She tried to find her resolve again, knowing it would get weird really fast if she didn't move. But then, the enchanting smile that suddenly bloomed on his face as he looked at her more clearly froze her in her tracks as he repeated his greeting more firmly; having definitively got his bearings now.

She did her utmost but a slight flush managed to go past her abilities to control her face at his soft welcome. She squirmed under his gaze, frazzled by his attitude. She mumbled something akin to this surely being uncomfortable for him and that he could let go.

He hummed but didn't move. At all.

He looked so positively relaxed, and brighter by the second.

"Slept well?" He inquired lightly, ignoring her comments and their closeness once more.

She was sure he was aware of his morning situation at least. He had to.

He finally lifted the arm that had been around her waist – but only that – and pushed some of her hair from her face. Before replacing the damn arm around her middle part again, driving her to the wall!

"Did you?" he asked again and she nodded, preferring to lock her voice out, not sure of the sounds she would make.

Was he that unaware? Surely it was because he wasn't fully awake yet and that was the reason of his lack of distance.

She sighed. Her move to do then.

"You can let me go, you know." She said, because quite frankly, even if she had wanted, she wasn't sure she would have been able to move away if he decided to keep her close.

And that idea was far too charming to be safe.

"Does it really bother you?" He asked then and she thought his face looked too innocent to be honest. Was he really teasing her in this situation?!

She contained a growl. What would he do if his joke turned against him and she attacked him, huh?

Still, his eyes told her a part of him were really interested in her answer which made her unable to lie.

"Not exactly bother but – "

"Then, do you mind if we stay like this a little more?" he demanded and pulled out his puppy eyes in a sudden treachery move. "I don't want to move yet."

She fixed him for a stunned second as her words crashed and burned until she couldn't keep a straight face anymore.

She hid in the crook of his neck and groaned. He was really impossible.

Either he had gone mad or he was totally unconscious. Was he this cuddly in the past? Did her memory failed her? She was pretty sure it hadn't been the case.

"Could you just – … pull your leg away then?"She whispered, not able to believe she really had to tell him. Seriously, which man stayed this close to his female friend when said man had even the sort of morning problem any man usually had?

"Oh. Right," he said with what finally sounds like some healthy embarrassment, "Sure, sorry." He added before removing his thighs from between her legs. He kept some space in between their neither regions then but nothing more. She was going to murder him.

NO frickin way.

He hadn't realized. He had fucking not realized!

That's it she decided. He was reckless. Totally oblivious and reckless.

She smacked him on his back, mortified and keeping her face buried in his neck.

"Ouch. What that was for?" he grumbled.

"Your thoughtlessness!" She grumbled back. "I don't know if it's your new way to bully me or tease me but it was not funny!"

She hit him again though she didn't pull away.

"Ouch. It's a perfectly healthy reaction for any man – "

"In the morning, I know!" she finished for him and there was a silence. "It's not a reason, you could have just pulled away!"

She smacked him again.

"Ouch! Kyoko, would you please stop?!" He complained and she could hear a new pout forming in his voice.

"Are you completely oblivious? Are you trying to embarrass us both to death?!" She hissed.

"I wasn't aware, okay? I was still half asleep" he fired back before smoothing out her hair in a soothing manner, "I apologize if I was thoughtless and upset you, please don't be mad."

She groaned, still mortified.

Then, she heard him chuckled and lifted her head from its place, ready to pounce at him if he was mocking her. She arched an eyebrow grumpily but the mere sprouts of anger she had started to feel dissipated when she saw his deep sheepish face.

"I'm sorry," he repeated, "I really hadn't realized. Forgive me?" he asked with a small pleading face and she gave up.

"Fine, okay." She agreed, pulling fully away and turning her back to him – for her own sanity, it was time – , and turning her face away to this criminal expression.

"How are you feeling this morning?" He asked, changing subject just after that.

"Feeling? Oh, right." She had to think about it for a second but besides a certain fogginess and tiredness coming back and forth every once in a while, she still felt much better.

She was about to censure that into saying she was good but under the scrutiny of Ren's gaze, she amended it slightly.

"I feel a bit tired still but much better than before." She said genuinely and it was all worth it when she saw his relieved expression soon after.

"I'm glad."

She felt a new surge of affection and gratefulness at the sight. He was too good to her. This silly man had worried so much and had taken care of her. She couldn't begin to know how to convey how much she felt. She hugged him on an impulse. Tightening her hold on him once she had secured it around his neck.

"Kyoko?" She heard, feeling his puzzlement.

"Thank you Ren, thank you."

"For what?" He asked and she pulled away with a smile.

"For being there." She replied softly.

He brushed some locks away from her face again and replied in a similar tone, face ever kind and patient.

"Always."

She melted.

She placed her hand on his face.

"God, you are really – …"

His face appeared to crumble then, and puzzlement and questions seemed to rattle in his eyes for a second. He lifted a hesitant shaking hand toward her face.

"Kyoko… What is this expression…?"

But then, at the same moment, the door rang and her phone too. Kyoko blinked away as sheer terror invaded her. She stood and grabbed her phone.

"I'm cooking breakfast this morning," She stated casually as she composed herself and took a few steps to the door, "I'm better enough to cook."

He caught her arm before she was halfway through and made her turn around.

"Wait! Right there, you – …" She saw him uncanny hesitated, seeming to search for his words and tried to fight back the panic that was starting to fill her. Without letting go, he stood in return and slipped his hand in his hair. If she didn't know better, she would have said he looked rattled.

Eventually he seemed to give up and strike her as directly as she was afraid of: "Just now, what was that?"

"What do you mean?"She asked carefully.

"You know what I mean!" He urged. "You looked – …"

She shook her head, sweating, and delving into all her talent as an actress to appear as clueless and innocent as possible.

He stayed silent but didn't bulge neither did he let her go.

"Are you sure?" he asked again.

"Ren, is there a problem?" She inquired as lightly as she could, wanting to vomit for not being able to be honest with him right now but there was no other solution.

"..."

"..."

He scrutinized her for what seemed an eternity to her and only let her go when the door rang again. He shook his head then and apologized, saying he thought something was not good with her and she breathed a sigh of relief. She saw him plopped down on the couch and thought he looked weary but she couldn't check on him right now, her composure was too fragile. She had barely escaped it.

She made her way to the door and checked her phone in the meantime, noticing a message from Kayla that said only one cryptic word: "Sorry."

The door rang again as she stayed frozen, trying to decipher what Kayla meant by this, and reached the door to be met with two of her friends. Luke and Jake.

Ah. Now, that made sense.

PS: Hi everyone. Hope you are all great. I hope you will enjoy this new chapter and will peacefully endure the evil cliffhanger. I know, i know. smirk. This chapter stamp the last of the tiny arc thing. And oh boy, the roller-coaster is up for another loop.

I wish you all an amazing Autumn. At least for the ones that already are in it. Love you. Lot of kisses.

Mimagfan.

AUTHOR OUT.