Chapter 13

6th September, Tuesday

2:13 am

Michael kept tossing and turning in bed until he finally gave up on sleep for the night. There was no chance he would be able to relax after the day that he had just had.

When they got home in the afternoon Michael tried to sit Nikita down to have that conversation 3 separate times. However, something always interrupted them and he just got more and more frustrated. Nikita felt like something was off with him so to cheer him up she made him get in the pool with her. The weather was still amazing. They only had a week or two left to take advantage of it.

Michael agreed to the idea. Maybe it was going to help him relax and he would be able to revisit the conversation again.

That wasn't the case. After the pool, they decided to order takeout from which Nikita got sick almost immediately after she had it. So the rest of the evening they spent on the bathroom floor.

Eventually, Nikita's stomach started to settle so Michael tried to convince her to go lay down but she refused. She didn't want to throw up in their bed. Michael continued to plead with her until she finally gave in. He put a bucket beside the bed to make her relax so that even if she did feel like she was going to be sick again she didn't have to run to the bathroom. His wife was satisfied with that and dozed off soon after her head touched the pillow.

Michael didn't have that luck though. He got up to walk around for a bit. He had to stay close though to check on her. He wanted to be by Nikita's side if she did feel ill again.

He first went downstairs and spent some time in the backyard. The fresh air and the peacefulness of the night did not give him the desirable effect that he hoped for. He was still very much on edge.

After an hour or so he got back into the house to go check on Nikita. She was still sound asleep. That was one good thing at least. He stood there for a bit, admiring her. God, he loved her so much. Michael felt his chest tighten. Extreme guilt overtook him. He shouldn't have lied to her. They had promised each other that there were going to be no more secrets. No more lies. No more taking on things on your own. How had he gotten so sucked into all of this that he broke that promise?

Michael felt a tear fall down his cheek. This was the first time he was able to release these pent-up emotions. During the day he was keeping up a strong front for her and trying to act like he had everything under control in front of Birkhoff. Nothing was right though. He felt like everything was falling apart in front of him and he couldn't do anything about it.

Just as more tears were coming in, Nikita stirred. As if literally feeling from across the room how he felt, she reached her hand to the empty side of the bed. Michael knew she was going to wake up as soon as she didn't find him there so he quickly got back into bed. The last thing he wanted was for her to see him like that.

He got into the covers just in time. Nikita snuggled into him and stilled again. Michael kissed her crown and tried to focus solely on holding her close.

Nikita was shocked when she looked at the clock. It was 9:30 am. She hadn't slept in like that for so long. She guessed she must have been pretty tired to not have heard Michael's alarm or him getting ready. She had the house to herself today and a full to-do list so she had to get up.

She sat up and tried to rub the sleep off her eyes. Something on her nightstand caught her eye though. When her eyes were able to focus Nikita realized it was a note.

Good morning :)

Don't be mad that I didn't wake you up. You needed it!

I made you some wraps for breakfast. They are in the fridge.

Made you some lemonade too. It should help with the nausea.

I dropped Archie off at petcare in case you don't feel well.

Text me when you wake up.

I love you! xx

- M

She smiled and reached for her phone. God, did she love him. He was quite nervous to leave her at home alone but she didn't let him stay with her. She knew he needed to be at the office. She was fine on her own. That apparently still couldn't stop Michael from doing the most when it came to her.

N: Good morning!

Kinda slept in.

Can you talk?

M: Stuck in a conference room :(

Good!

Did you eat?

N: You said 'text me when you wake up'

M: Go eat!

Long periods without food can also make you sick.

N: Sir, yes, sir.

M: …

N: I love you too :)

M: I'll call you when I get out.

Now go eat, please.

Also, lunch is in the fridge too.

Orange tupperware.

N: Lunch?

When did you get up?

M: Enjoy :)

Nikita shook her head. Her ever so caring and overprotective Michael. She got out of bed and moved to the bathroom to get ready for the day. She felt a lot better than last night. The extra hours of sleep she got really did wonders. She tidied up their room then headed downstairs to have breakfast. The wraps Michael had made her were just what she needed. She took the whole jug of lemonade with her into the study and was ready to tack on her to-do list.

11 am

"I can't find it anywhere" Nikita was getting more and more frustrated. She had been looking for this stupid flash drive for like an hour.

"Are you sure you unpacked it?" When they were in Greece Alex had given Nikita a flash drive with intel she had been gathering on a trafficking ring. The information was very important so Alex didn't want to just email it to Nikita.

"Yes for the millionth time. I unpacked everything the same day I got home and distinctly remember taking it out of my bag. I just don't remember where I left it after that" Nikita went through her whole closet, then the bedroom and nothing.

"Maybe you put it somewhere obvious. Like on the counter, your desk maybe" Alex kept suggesting different places for Nikita to have a look. She really didn't want to send all the files through email.

"I doubt it. I unpacked upstairs"

"Just stop and think. What did you do when you got home?"

"I tried to hide the fact that I wanted to throw up like every second" Nikita bit back at Alex. The flash drive was the last thing on her mind that day. She had been going through so many emotions hence why she had no recollection of where she put the damn thing.

"Okay, leave it for now. We don't need it for today. If you don't find it I'll just think of another way to send over the files" They had lost enough time looking for it plus Alex would see Nikita very soon. She could give it to her then.

"Ugh fine" Nikita was so annoyed with herself. She was usually pretty good at keeping track of important things. She was sure the flash drive was somewhere in the house. She didn't lose it. She just misplaced it.

After a couple of hours of going over the intel Alex had gathered on this new trafficking ring, Nikita was ready to call it a day. She had like two hours before Michael would get home so she could take a quick power nap. That was if she didn't remember that she still had to find that damn flash drive. It was bugging her so much. She knew it was somewhere in the house. The upstairs was ruled out already so she only had the downstairs left to look through.

Nikita tried to remember what she did when she got back. She remembered unpacking all her bags and putting her stuff in piles to put them back in their place. Her clothes needed to go in the laundry room, her toiletries in the bathroom, her shoes back in her closet, her electronics back downstairs where she usually kept them…and it hit her then. She had stuffed everything that was for downstairs in a bag and dumped it in the study. She remembered now that she purposely took out the flash drive and put it in that bag so wouldn't forget it in her carry-on.

When she took the bag downstairs she brought it into the study and carelessly put everything back. She didn't have time to organize it all. So the flash drive was definitely somewhere in this room.

Nikita rummaged through her drawers for quite a while but still nothing. Her last hope was Michael's side of the desk. She remembered that the next morning she had found him in the study. Maybe he mistook it for one of his flash drives and put it away.

Turned out Nikita was right. She pretty quickly found the flash drive in one of his drawers. However, there was a second flash drive. The exact same one Alex had given her. Nikita laughed. What were the odds? She guessed that's why Michael thought it was his.

Nikita took a lucky guess and grabbed the top one. She loaded the files onto her computer and grabbed her phone to text Alex that she had founded it. After sending the message she turned her attention to the screen and was surprised by what she was looking at.

The flash drive she had picked was the wrong one. Or at least Nikita hoped so. Alex wasn't that stupid to put her name as the names of the files. Then Nikita remembered that Alex had mentioned the flash drive was protected by a password and a series of codes. There was none of that. Just a folder with Nikita's name on it full of photos and documents.

Nikita stared at it for a while. What was this? The only way to find out was to start opening up the files.

5:30 pm

"Hey!" Michael's cheery voice rang from the front door through the house. He was so happy to be finally home. It had been a long day plus he had to stay behind to help out an intern. "Sorry, I'm late. Brought you something though" During this time of day Nikita was usually in the kitchen or in the conservatory so Michael headed that way. When Nikita saw him pass the living room she cleared her throat to indicate she was there. Michael turned around all smiley but his face quickly changed when he saw her.

Nikita was sitting on the couch, knees pressed against her chest, puffy red eyes yet pale skin. Michael dropped his things to the ground and rushed to her "What's wrong, what-"

"Don't" Nikita scooted over to the other end of the couch away from him. She didn't even look at him.

Michael stood frozen and shocked. What was happening? "Baby, what-"

"Open it" Nikita didn't let him talk. She didn't want to hear his questions or concerns. She only wanted one thing. She pointed to the laptop on the coffee table for Michael to open.

He moved to do so without tearing his eyes off her. He had never ever seen Nikita in this state and that was saying something. The way she carried herself and that raspy, deep tone. Michael couldn't read any of it.

He opened the laptop and closed his eyes shut when he saw what was loaded on the screen. "I assume you are already quite familiar with that if you don't even have to look at it to know what it is" Nikita knew that there was no way some random flash drive appeared in her house containing information about her past. Especially if said flash drive was in Michael's drawer.

Michael felt himself starting to shake. This was not how she was supposed to find out. He was literally finally ready to tell her that night and this had to happen. It was all his fault. He had lost so many opportunities to sit down with her and have a proper conversation. Nikita didn't deserve this.

Michael peeled his eyes open and forced himself to look her in the eyes. She was looking at him as well this time. "You are the last person in this fucked up world that I thought would betray me. In fact, you weren't even on that damn list" Nikita tried to hold her ground. Her voice was stern and cold but her eyes… Her eyes told everything. They were so glassy you could use them as a mirror. As she was talking a tear or two would slip away. She paid no attention to it.

"Betrayed?" Yes, Michael had fucked up but he would never betray her. He couldn't bear her thinking that. He always had her well-being in mind including in this situation as well. Yes, he lied to her but that was to protect her. He wasn't proud of it but that had been the only option he thought he had at the time. It was a mistake. He knew that now. He didn't want to hurt her but he did. Now Michael had to make it better. "I would never do that to you and you know it. Let me-"

"Yeah, but you did, though. Going behind my back and doing all of this. Lying to my face for God knows how long. Actually for how long has this been going on? Months? A year?" Nikiya didn't need to raise her voice. The emotion was clear. She was angry, hurt and disappointed.

"What are you talking about? It happened 2 weeks ago. Please, let me explain" Michael couldn't believe what he was hearing. This was not his Nikita. Had he hurt her that bad that she had no more faith in him? It was deserved to an extent but still. He would never lie to her for that long like that. "I know you are extremely hurt right now and I'm so sorry. I-"

"Well then maybe you shouldn't have gone digging around for my fucking demons. Let's start from there. What the fuck is that for?" Nikita had expressed to Michael years ago that she wanted nothing to do with her past anymore and that included her birth parents. It brought out too much trauma for her and she didn't want to bring all that baggage with her as she started her new life.

She couldn't find a logical reason why Michael would go behind her back and do something like this. The only result of that was going to be more trauma for her.

"What?" There was a big misunderstanding happening. If only Nikita could hear him out he would be able to clear everything up and comfort her. It made sense why she was so hurt if she thought he was the one that looked for her parents. "I didn't. Two weeks ago a private investigator came looking for you. He gave me this flash drive when I and Birkhoff went to see him and-"

"Wait, wait, wait. Birkhoff knows about this and he was in on it." Now Nikita definitely couldn't hide her emotions. This new information broke her heart even more. Not only was she being lied to by her husband, the love of her life, but by her best friend as well. They both thought this was some favour to her?

"In on what? Nikita, this was not some game to us. Why are you taking it like this? Talk to me. Ask me anything you want if you don't want me to speak but please get these thoughts out of your head" Michael was getting deja vu of the two of them together a few years ago in a basement talking similarly. He realized that all that pent-up trauma was coming out again. He wouldn't let Nikita drown in it.

"Taking it like what?! Did you think I was going to fucking congratulate you? You lied to me and even if you didn't seek them out you should have waited for me before doing anything" Nikita couldn't understand Michael and to be honest she didn't want to. Nothing he said could excuse his actions. He should have talked to her first.

"I had to make sure it was true and to figure it out" Michael was trying to get that point across. Behind everything he did was the intention to protect her. Sometimes though good intentions didn't turn out so well.

"We were supposed to be figuring it out together! Didn't you say that to me? Didn't you promise that to me" That was one of the hardest parts for Nikita. They had been so good about that for years and now it was all crumbled up to pieces. Tiny shards of glass that cut her ever so deep.

"I know and I am so incredibly sorry. I only wanted you to be safe and sound. That was all that was on my mind" Michael tried coming closer to her but she pulled away even when he made the slightest move forward.

"Was it?" Nikita looked him dead in the eyes and asked with a shaking voice.

"Yes! You know that!" Michael's eyes started flooding with tears as well. It was all so painful hearing her say all of these words and seeing her like that. It felt like a never-ending nightmare. It was worse than that though because it was reality.

"The whole thing started out really sketchy. That's why I told Birkhoff. Then we met with the private investigator. He was the one that gave me the flash drive and when we met the couple we-" Michael tried to explain everything to her as briefly as possible. Hopefully, that was going to make her listen and then he can tell her every detail.

"What did you just say?" Nikita stood up and Michael swore he felt her soul breaking. "You met who?"

"Anh and Edward Carter" Michael whispered as if that was going to help. He knew that one was going to hurt the most.

"You-you-no, no, no." Nikita had read those names on the files and knew who these people were now. She couldn't believe Michael had actually gone ahead and met them and she had no fucking clue about it.

"Nikita-"

"This is not real, this is not happening" Nikita started pacing the room and hyperventilating. How could Michael do this to her? Something else bugged her too "Wait, what is the man's name again?" The name Edward Carter rang a bell now. She had been too emotional a couple of hours ago when she read the files. Nothing registered to her then but now…

"Edward Carter. You met him yesterday" Michael hung his head down. He hated himself for doing this to her. Maybe it was exactly like she described it - betrayal. Michael had betrayed Nikita and hurt her in the worst way possible.

"I-I came to you after that…I fucking told you about it and you stood there and said nothing!" Nikita started raging and throwing everything that was near her at him. Luckily the closest things were the couch's cushions. "HOW COULD YOU?! WHY?!" Her screams echoed through the house.

"It's all my fault please-" Michael cried out.

"No, no. I've heard enough" Nikita rushed out of the room, grabbed her purse and headed for the front door. Michael couldn't let her go anywhere in this state. She was shaking, crying and screaming. Something bad was about to happen if she walked out of that door.

"Please, baby, no. Look, I'm leaving. You can have the house for as long as you like. I won't step foot in here unless you tell me to" Michael was quicker than her. He got out the front door before her and ran to his car. He made sure she had stopped by the front door and then he drove off. He should be the one to leave, not her. He didn't deserve to stay at their home after what he did to her.

Driving off and leaving her while she was so upset killed him. It was the right thing to do yet it was extremely painful. Like someone literally took a knife and continuously stabbed him. And he knew what that felt like yet this was so much worse. Nikita was his life, his purpose, his everything. How did let himself do this to her?!

He kept driving and driving with no direction or final destination in mind. Unconsciously though he ended up at a familiar doorstep.

"Michael, what a nice surprise we were just-" When Sonya saw the familiar car at their gate she got excited. She and Seymor were just about to have dinner. It was going to be so nice for Nikita and Michael to join as well. She let Michael into the property and went out on the front porch to wait for the couple. In the meantime, she called her husband over too.

Michael pulled it and the second he got out of the car his friends were able to tell. "What happened to you?"

"What's wrong?'' Sonya and Birkhoff were shocked to see Michael like this and with no Nikita in sight.

Michael looked at Birkhoff with this broken devastated look and his best friend knew. "It's alright, come here" Birkhoff pulled Michael in a hug. "We knew it was coming"

"She hates me" Michael cried out in his best friend's arms and hugged him back. Birkhoff had seen Michael like that only twice. The first time was when Nikita ran away from Division and she was presumed dead. Birkhoff had seen Michael hide in the old shooting range to let out his emotions. He never told him that though. The second time was when Nikita ran away and left him behind with her engagement ring. He would lock himself in a room and just let it all out. Birkhoff always passed by the room to check on him so he was always aware when Michael was doing bad. And, God, was it bad now.

"She doesn't hate you. You know that. She is just hurt" Birkhoff knew this was going to happen. He tried to warn Michael about it but he didn't listen.

"Let's get inside. Where is Nikita now?" Sonya didn't know what was going on but if Michael looked like that Nikita was probably the same. Birkhoff could comfort Michael while Sonya went to Nikita. "She's at home. She doesn't want to see anyone right now" Michael got where Sonya was at but that was a risk. What if Nikita really drove off somewhere this time because she wasn't left alone.

"Okay then. Come on" Sonya urged the boys to get inside. She needed to know what was happening immediately. This was definitely no argument or fight. Something serious had happened.

The three sat down in the living room. Birkhoff sat right next to Michael, patting his back for support. Sonya chose to sit at the coffee table right across from them.

"Tell us what happened?" Sonya started.

Michael and Birkhoff looked at each other. There was no way Michael would be able to recall everything in this state so Birkhoff had the honor. "Babe, I am about to tell you something very serious and I need you to listen before saying anything" The hacker definitely didn't want to end up like Michael at the end of this conversation.

"Okay" Sonya nodded. She didn't know what to expect.

"So that is how we ended up here" Birkhoff finished off with that. Silence took over the room for a few minutes. Both Michael and Birkhoff's hearts were pounding. Hopefully, Sonya was going to understand where they were coming from and help them.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Sonya turned to Birkhoff "I could have told you it was a bad idea. You guys should have called the day it happened" Sonya was on the same page as Nikita. She also wanted to get mad at the boys but that wasn't going to help the situation at all. Michael was already crushed and her husband was worried enough about their friends.

"I didn't want to give her false hope too" Michael finally spoke.

"Hope? What hope? She doesn't want to know who her parents are" Michael and Birkhoff had messed up badly. They shouldn't have hid what was happening back here.

"We still had to see if they were legit people or not. What if it was someone coming after her?" Birkhoff was quick to defend their actions. Yes, maybe in the bigger picture, they shouldn't have gone that way about it but they did the best they could with the information they had.

"Okay, but we still could have done that together"

"But-"

"No she's right" Michael interrupted Birkhoff. He didn't want his friends to fight about it as well. If Nikita was this hurt then they clearly didn't do something right. "I should have told her from the start. I was going to tell her the day she got back. Face to face but she…"

It clicked for Sonya then. That was the night Nikita had told him she was pregnant. That was what stopped him. It made sense now. In the days after that, they had appointments then Nikita wasn't doing so well.

"She what?" Birkhoff hoped Michael was finally ready to tell him what exactly was this thing that was holding him back so much. And why did Sonya seem to know about it and he didn't yet again.

Michael hated that he had to tell his best friend this way but it was inevitable. "Nikita told me she was pregnant that night"

"What!" To say Birkhoff was shocked was an understatement. He didn't even know that the couple was planning on starting a family. "Nikki is pregnant with like a baby?"

Sonya shook her head. "Of course with a baby"

"And you knew this whole time?" What was with all these secrets these days?

"She found out in Greece. There was no way to hide it from us. They were going to tell everyone on Friday"

"That's what that dinner is for?" Birkhoff started putting the pieces together.

"Yes" Sonya exhaled tiredly. That dinner was for sure ruined after all of this.

"Man…I mean congratulations but…" Birkhoff was happy for the couple but now wasn't the time.

"How upset was she?" Sonya was scared to ask but she had to. That was the important thing now.

"I promised her I won't go back to the house unless she allows me to" That was enough for Sonya and Birkhoff to realize how serious it was.

"We can't leave her alone tonight. You stay here and I'll try to reach her at some point and go over there" Nikita needed someone by her side. There was no doubt about that.

Nikita stared after Michael's car. On the inside she was screaming for him to stop, to be with her, to not abandon her. It was the strangest feeling. She wanted to yell at him and be angry for what he did but she didn't want him to leave. Nothing came out though. She went back inside and everything was let loose then.

Nikita screamed and cried to the point that she made herself sick. She tried to calm down but she couldn't. Her heart was beating hard like it was going to explode. She was drenched in sweat, the room was spinning and she couldn't stop throwing up. Her whole being was aching and extremely hurt.

She sat on the bathroom floor for ages just suffering. It got dangerously bad fairly quickly. She needed to call someone. Not for herself but for their baby. As soon as that thought came into mind she started panicking even more. What if she had already pushed herself to the point of no return? What if she had already lost her baby? The amount of stress her body was under currently was certain to cause harm to their child. She had to stop it.

She reached for her phone and dialed his number. She needed him and not just because she wasn't well.

"I think that's fine but-"

"Shhh" Michael grabbed his phone so fast that the whole table shook. "Nikita?" He couldn't believe it when he saw his phone light up with her name. For a second he thought he was hallucinating. He double-checked when he picked it up. It really was her.

"I-I-hospital" Nikita muttered. She could barely get any words out.

"Hospital?" Michael grabbed his keys and started running out the door. Sonya and Birkhoff followed after him as soon as they heard hospital. Michael didn't wait for any further explanation. If Nikita called and asked to be taken to a hospital then he was on his way.

"Are you still at home?" Michael waved to Birkhof to follow his car and they were onto the road in split seconds.

"I-I'm-" Nikita had no strength left in her. She was beginning to lose consciousness. The panic attacks and the throwing up had completely worn her out.

"Hey, hey. Stay with me, stay with me, please. Yes or no, baby. Are you home?" Michael was driving as fast as he could but he still had at least 10 minutes until he got home. He needed to know if she was there for sure.

"Yeah"

"Okay, okay. You're okay. I've got you. I'm almost there, please stay with me" Michael was pressing and pressing on the gas but the pedal was at its limit.

Michael could hear Nikita sobbing and whining and he was losing it. The drive felt like an hour. He was praying and pleading to whoever was listening. He couldn't lose Nikita.

They finally got to the house. Michael found her immediately. She was laying on the bathroom floor and barely responding. "Oh, god, no, no, no" Michael scooped her up and carried her out of the bathroom. "Hospital now!" He yelled to Birkhoff and the hacker ran to the car. Michael hopped in the backseat with Nikita and continued to hold her. "Go, go, go. Sonya call the hospital and let them know we are coming"

Michael didn't know what was wrong with Nikita and he wouldn't take any chances. "Nik, baby, please wake up. We are going to the hospital. It will be okay. I've got you" Michael kept repeating the same things over and over. There was no response. Nikita had passed out in his arms while he was carrying her out of the house. He kept a firm grip on her hand the whole time to make sure she still had a pulse. He couldn't lose her. This was just some sick way the universe was punishing him. Michael wasn't going to lose Nikita. Michael couldn't lose Nikita.

Birkhoff got them to the hospital in record time. The doctors and nurses took Nikita in straight away. They didn't let Michael go in with her though. A doctor pulled him aside and reassured him he was more helpful by answering his questions. Michael told him everything about Nikita's medical history plus what he thought had happened. Michael prayed it was just her pregnancy sickness but he knew the stress of finding out about her parents also played a part.

The doctor went away and Michael, Birkhoff and Sonya were left in the waiting room. Michael was pacing the room while Sonya and Birkhoff were leaning on each other. No one knew what to say. They were all in shock. Everything happened so fast. There was no time to process anything. They barely talked to each other during the whole thing.

"Do you have any idea what's wrong? Did the doctor say anything?" Birkhoff broke the silence eventually.

"No..he just asked me questions and then said that he will come get us when they have anything." Michael had to force himself to respond. He was barely himself. This was all his fault. He knew about Nikita's spike in anxiety recently. If he had been more careful and above all else honest with her this wouldn't have happened.

"What did she say when she called?" Sonya wasn't even able to get into the house before they had to leave again. The only thing she saw was Michael and Birkhoff rushing in and seconds later coming out with Nikita who was carried by Michael. By that point, Nikita was already unconscious. Sonya had no idea if Nikita had just passed out or if there was something more.

"She..she could barely talk. The only audible word from her mouth was hospital. " Michael didn't need more at the time. He pieced together what might have happened when he saw her though "She was extremely upset when I was leaving. She definitely had…had a panic attack and I think that…that it triggered the sickness and it all went downhill from there" Michael didn't even want to imagine what she must have gone through to get to that point. She also never called for help and to call him out of all people at that moment meant she was scared for her life too.

Sonya didn't ask more questions. Michael told her everything she needed. Silence fell again for a bit but it was interrupted by Michael's phone buzzing.

"Shit"

"What?" Both Sonya and Birkhoff straightened up. What more did this day have in store for them?

"When I got home I had Archie with me. He is going mad around the house and the cameras are picking it up. I didn't see him when we came in. He must have gotten too scared" The poor dog was probably stressed out as well.

"I can go get him. He could stay with us for a few days" Sonya offered. She loved Archie and she and her husband could love on him and give him attention while Nikita and Michael mended things.

"Yeah, okay. Thank you" Michael appreciated the gesture. The last thing he wanted was to scare Archie and stress him out too. He was going to be in good hands now for a couple of days.

"I will take our spare keys and go get him. Call me if there is any update"

"Hey, could you grab some things from the house as well? They will keep her overnight so I want her to be comfortable"

"Yeah, of course" Sonya was happy to. Michael gave her a list with instructructions on where to find everything and she was on her way.

"Come here you are only working yourself up more" Birkhoff patted the seat next to him. Michael sighed and plopped down next to his best friend. "Birkhoff if-"

"Nope. We are not going there." The hacker knew exactly what Michael was going to say. They shouldn't be thinking about that right now. Nikita was a fighter. Whatever it was, she was going to come out the other side and she was going to be okay.

Michael had no strength to fight him. He tried to lean onto that hope that this day will pass and everything can go back to normal. Could it though?

Was Nikita going to hate him for months for what he did? Was she ever going to forgive him?

"Mr Bishop" The doctor approached and both men jumped up.

"Yes, is Nikita okay?" Michael was the first to ask.

"She will be. Based on what you have told us and her tests and vitals she has had a severe panic attack that led her into being violently sick and then passing out because of it. She has lost a lot of fluids so we are definitely keeping her overnight and possibly one more night as well for monitoring. The baby is perfectly fine. Strong and steady heartbeat. Doesn't seem under stress or anything so you don't have to worry. She will recover in about a week or even less but this cannot happen again for her sake and for the baby's. She must rest and take it easy"

"Thank you so much." Michael was so relieved that both Nikita and the baby were okay. He thanked whoever it was that was looking out for them. His family was safe.

"Can we see her?" Now to really believe she was okay Michael had to hold her in his arms.

"She is asleep right now and probably won't wake up until the morning. The visiting hours have ended. I can give you 10 minutes with her and then you will have to leave." The doctor explained.

"I can stay with her, right? I'm her husband" Michael guessed the doctor was talking about Birkhoff but he had to be certain. He wasn't leaving Nikita's side anymore.

"Yes, you can. You can sign in at the front desk over there and they will lead you to her room"

"Thank you"

"I'm here, I'm here" Sonya ran down the corridor when she saw the doctor talking to Michael and Birkhoff. "Slow down. She's okay. They're both okay" Birkhoff assured his wife.

"Oh, thank god. Can we see her? Is she awake?" Sonya was beyond relieved as well. The worst was over. Now they had to make sure Nikita was well taken care of and supported.

"Michael will stay with her. They will keep her for at least 2 nights. Me and you have about 10 minutes to see her tonight" Birkhoff urged Sonya to get going because they were losing time already.

"Yeah, yeah. Here's the bag. I threw in some stuff I thought you guys might need too. Let's go then"

The three signed in at the front desk and hurried to get to Nikita's room. It was dim in there. The only sound you can hear was from the machines in the room. And there was Nikita soundly sleeping on the hospital bed. Michael could instantly tell she looked better. There was colour to her skin, her face was no longer puffy. She looked peaceful.

Michael stood next to her side and stared. He was afraid to even touch her. What if he caused her harm by only doing that too. Nobody said anything, they just stared. From time to time Sonya and Birkhoff would caress her hand or head, showing her they were there.

The 10 minutes came and went. Birkhoff and Sonya each leid a kiss on Nikita's forehead, hugged Michael tight and said goodbye. It was really hard leaving Michael and Nikita in that hospital room knowing how broken they both were. The best thing they could do right now though was be strong for them.

Michael was left alone. He pulled a chair next to Nikita's bed and finally forced himself to touch her. He had to touch her. This stupid fear couldn't stop him. He gently caressed her fingers then he got more brave and took hold of her hand in his. "I'm so so so sorry, my love" He whispered through the tears starting to fall down. "I let you down and got you here… I will make it better. I promise I will. I've got you… I love you so much. Be strong for me. I'll get us through this" This was his mess and he was going to fix it. Nikita only had to focus on recovering and taking care of herself. He was going to help her with that as well of course. He only hoped that she would allow him. Michael didn't know how she would react when she woke up. He wasn't leaving her alone anymore though. Never ever again.

Hours passed. A few nurses had already come in to check on Nikita. They were giving her different fluids and taking samples of blood to see if she was starting to do better. They noted that there was improvement so that was good.

It got really late. Michael felt himself dozing off. All of a sudden he got so tired. It was probably from all the adrenalin that day. His body was exhausted but his mind couldn't give in to sleep. He was too focused on Nikita. It was like if he tore his eyes from her for one second something bad was going to happen.

Thank you so much for reading and reviewing! xx

It's so surreal finally posting this chapter. When I started plotting the story I had only the first chapter and this one fully done in my head and now you have both of those! Thank you so so much for the support!