CHAPTER 88

I do not own skip beat! Yoshiki Nakamura does.

First Trip and Its Wonders: Part 12

~Into the storm~

One hour and half before the return of the group in the cabin.

She had been out for barely ten minutes that weather was worsening again, huge flakes dropping around in an etheric eerie way in the dim remaining light of the crepuscule. She walked forwards in a quick step, grateful the snow wasn't too thick yet, and that she had taken her gloves, as the cold was biting. She still regretted not being able to take her phone with her, and looking back, she thought it had been stupid of her to not borrow one, if she couldn't find hers.

She reached the shorter gondola lift made for the smaller slopes twenty minutes after leaving but found out they were closed. She was wondering if Ren would really have gone skiing in this weather. But at the same time, when he had left the snow was far sparser, and there had been no wind. She decided to check the bigger ski lifts, hoping that, if they were still open, she could go up and see if he got stuck in the high restaurant at the top maybe. If he weren't there, she would check the cafes and other establishments. She could only think that. He was quick, and if weather had turned sour, he would have taken shelter somewhere.

But when another quarter passed and she reached the huge cable lift – after laboriously walking to it as the snow kept falling harder, making it hard for her to see – , she was sure of it.

He couldn't have been so stupid to be still on the slopes. So either, he was at the top restaurant or he was not outside at all. She breathed hard as she looked up and saw the ski gondola were closed too. No slopes were opened.

She shook a little.

God, it is cold.

She tried to reason with herself, tried not to let panic engulf her at being unable to go up, check if he was there. He needed to be okay. He needed to be okay. She needed him to be okay.

But then she saw a notice board hanging on the chains placed from one side of the bottom slope on her right to the outer border. One of those signs that gave times of openings and closings. Staring at them for a second, she looked around.

Several hard plastic panels were actually hanging on the whole length of the barrier. A lot more than usual. She started to scrub on the closer one. If she could see when it closed today, she might, just might, have a more precise idea of the whereabouts of Ren.

She rubbed the board, trying to clear it of the frosting snow that had accumulated. Flakes got on her face and she had to pause to rub them away before pursuing. It took her a while as the last layer of snow had completely frozen, making it impossible for her to see. She pulled out her gloves for a minute, scratching at it with her nails, before slipping her frigid hands back in them.

"Too cold."

She activated herself, knowing staying static in this weather could be really bad. Then, finally, it was cleared enough for her to see the writing of the hours. She froze.

Odd.

It couldn't be right. The hours indicated the slopes were closed since two p.m. But that had been before they left to have a drink, maybe even half an hour before she fell asleep.

Sure, when they had gone earlier, they might have ignored the slopes were closed. But the cabin wasn't that far from the ski lifts. They would have heard from other people it was closed, anyway. Was it really possible Ren hadn't been aware the slopes were closed? She had a hard time fully believing that. Things didn't add up. But right now, one thing was sure. At least, he hadn't been able to go back skiing. And she could only rejoice in that. Because it meant he was most likely somewhere in the station with the group, and not in danger.

"Thank God."

She let out her first full breath since earlier, utterly overjoyed by the news.

The rejoicing was short-lived, though, as, the moment she quieted down was also the moment she started to think about going back. She turned away from the board plank note, setting back into her surroundings as the concern for Ren eased in her chest. Bundles of thick agglomeration of flakes were falling everywhere she looked around, and she could actually notice the layers of white powder on the ground adding and growing as she watched. The crystalline coat building tangibly in height under her stare in a matter of seconds. And it didn't stop, it just kept rising and thickening.

She frowned as she realized it was falling so hard it appeared just as the same as if the air had been foggy. Meaning, she could barely grasp sight of anything, even one metre around.

She made a few steps forwards, moving away some inches as she turned her head left and right several times, trying to situate herself. The proof of it having been a mistake was fast, however, and she cursed at her foolishness. The mere two minutes she had spent trying to decipher something through the snow to see in which direction to come back, had sufficed to make her lose sight of the chain of note planks. Snow was falling in packets, blinding her regularly. Icy flakes landing on her cheeks, on her head. Snow was nearly at her knees.

She let out her air, taking a slow profound respiration. She couldn't panic now.

Let's move first. She couldn't stay immobile, she would freeze. For now, her only option was to take one action after another, and not dwell on the "what ifs". She started to walk. Her steps making deep dents into the thick carpet of densified powder. She tapped it with her gloved hand, testing. The surface was hardening just a layer under the latest flakes fallen. Meaning it was freezing and that temperature had dropped a little.

She resumed and focused on walking faster, to warm her up. Her progressed was rendered difficult by how high the snow was reaching, each step encasing one foot deeply into the snow, as if retaining it there on purpose afterwards.

The fierce gusts lifted her, and served her as a pro when it alighted and propelled her forwards. But the blasts had erratic changes of direction, and every other time it would rush on her sides, unbalancing her and making her use so much more strength to stay straight on her feet and still move.

But she kept going, keen realization slowly making light in her mind of how dire her situation actually was, and how much worse it could become for each moment passing. She had no choice but to stay in movement, and pushed forwards, hoping she would, at some point, reach back the areas where cabins were located.

But already, at the back of her mind, she could begin to feel a slow quiet debilitation edging in. Were her legs a little more sluggish than before? Had her pace not already decreased?

She rubbed at her eyes, tired of removing the flakes from getting in her sight. She couldn't see a thing, now. Night had terminated its descend and on the mountain it was pitch black. Besides the enraged white flakes twisting around wildly in the air. But they barely lightened up anything.

The blasts kept rushing, constantly slapping her face with penetrating glacial needles that eventually numbed her cheeks. The wind roared in the background, exhausting her ears. It howled and howled and howled. Gloomily aggressive and relentless. Like it was the messenger of a vile presage announcing even more atrocious events.

Her dulled by the cold ears failed to pick up on a loud echoing sound and she fought against her desire to sit, knowing if she renounced now it most likely meant death.

She longed for just a small pause, five minutes would suffice. Only to rub her thighs a little, weary by the excess force she always needed to induce to pull them out from the thick even-now-still-growing white coat.

She was about to reconsider not taking a break when she bumped into something hard.

Clearing her sight once more – she was sure her eyes were red from tearing up with the excess of frosty air hitting her face – she caught the vision of hard brown lozenge barks from the torso of a tree. Then looking to the side, and despite the madness going out, the sombre dark trunks still contrasted through it all.

Something clotted her vision again, and she rubbed at wildly as she lifted her head, watching with joyful relief the sumptuous bending branches of the pine.

She knew where she was!

If she managed to climb the slightly inclined ground, she might be able to take better shelter under the numerous branches, before finding her way.

She was considering pausing here and there, even though, feeling nausea creeping in her throat for some reason but a thundering rumble finally broke her bubble of exhaustion, and she looked backwards.

She would remember that tree for the rest of her life. Hadn't she been under it – giving her the slightest clearer sight – , hadn't she been clinging to the trunk; she wouldn't be here to talk about it. She was persuaded of it.

She wouldn't have seen it.

A vaporous density roaring down the slope like an unstoppable train wreck and hurtling off the mountain in enthused incommensurable velocity. Just above where she stood. Two seconds, it's the time she stayed frozen, staring in horror at the monstrosity ready to pluck her. Then, it was on her. She just had the time to twist and pass to the other side of the trunk, and hold for dear life with legs and arms locked around the mild-large torso of the tree as the avalanche passed.

The cloudy mass rolled over in an awful blink of fast, dusting her whole body with powder snow but sparring her for the most part. She remained on her tree like a monkey, staying patient but keeping her eyes close to avoid letting panic invade her. It quieted then but she kept still even so.

After waiting for a minute more, however, she opened her eyes and seeing it had died down, she let go of her hold. The side of the tree she had been on, hadn't been too touched but she knew you always needed to be careful about the ground you were on after an avalanche, as it could be quite unstable. She tested the soil surface where she was with feet and hands, taking tiny tapping steps, to be sure it held. But she soon came to notice that barely anything coming from the avalanche itself seemed to have landed around. The dusty snow she was covered in, appeared to be just a splash from the outer side of the snow cloud when it had passed and spattered her and the tree she was holding on. She let out a rippling breath, not even noticing snow falling anymore.

That's when she heard a much louder rumbling coming from further on the north. She went back to her trunk for safety's sake, looking up to see if anything more was coming her way, but saw nothing. It stayed in the distance. The echoing sounds, though, kept going and going without seeming to ever stop.

Ah, made her scrambling struggling-to-think mind, as she finally understood. She had gotten the cheaper smaller end of the landing. That's why it had been so fast to end and so little in amount. And why she wasn't buried under metres of snow right now.

She stumbled back against the tree, leaning for support.

That was close.

The huge rumble, on the other side of the mountain raged on for stretched to no end minutes, before it eventually died down in a sinister abruptness. The cut void of the vociferous sound tasted artificial on her every nerve, and kept her on edge. As if the real disaster was still up to dawn on everyone at any second. Even the infernal curved tremors from the mistral felt like a low-toned soothing melody now. Safe. Comforting.

And yet, against reason, the feeling of being in a white silenced world remained. As if she had become deaf.

Her fingers were so cold.

She removed her gloves. She lifted her palms up to warm her fingers and looked at the odd vibration they emitted as she blew hot air from her mouth on her red hands. Then she passed her palms on her face and removed more dusty snow from it. She took some air in, took some air out. Again.

No. She realized.

Not a vibration. Her hands were trembling. She let her hands glided down to her tracheae and felt the expended rising of her throat, so fast she was breathing. Her heart humming in speed like there was no tomorrow to do it.

Shit.

She was in shock.

But rationalizing didn't help. She needed to calm down. She needed to calm down. She was still outside and in the cold. She needed to move. In a haze, she took a few steps, pushing slowed shaking feet to climb a little towards the other pines she knew to be there, just close by, if she only reached right.

Fortunately, she hadn't been wrong, and she reached them without any trouble a moment later. Once she got to the remote shelter the modest forest and pines provided, she took support on one, and stopped. She dropped to the ground then, between the curvy massive roots running on the ground, and let her head hit backwards against the rough surface of the bark.

Then, she focused on one and only one thing.

Breathing. It was the only way she would be able to calm down.

She fixed her attention on the rising of her belly, of her chest as she let air in. And how it let go and retracted when she blew out. Aspiring air, chest rising. Letting it out, chest dipping. Deeper breath, belly taunt. Pushing it out.

Inhaling in. Release out. Inhaling. Releasing.

She lost track of time as she kept herself centred.

Inhaling. Releasing.

In and out. In and out.

In. And out.

In. Breathe. Out.

Her eyes breached.

She looked at her hands. They were red but they were not shaking anymore. She slipped back her gloves, and placed a hand on her chest, it had returned to somewhat normal. It was a little fast but she knew her heart was pumping to keep her warm despite the temperature. So a little more elevated was normal.

Better.

She stood back on her feet, thankful for the forced break she had taken, somehow. She felt less tired and the trees had protected her from getting too chilled.

It's still fucking cold, though.

She looked around. She didn't see far as it was still very much the night. However, less snow was falling here which permitted to her eyes to see at least two or three metres further ahead.

She turned her gaze to the bottom of the pines, observing pieces of the uncovered ground peaking out between the roots – where copious amount of dried pine needles could be seen – so far the enormous branches were reaching.

Snow wasn't even falling on her with how well the covered in needles arms of the trees were protecting the base of the forest by their higher branches. Snow has been falling on every spot where two or more pines were farther spread out.

But she couldn't complain. It was easier to progress- and by far – , even with the sneaky roots going in all senses. And even the temperature was higher than outside the forest. Even if, she couldn't really feel it at the moment, she knew from experience how forests worked. It was her resistance that was dropping. She had already been freezing before entering and the break didn't help. Yet, she knew it would have been much worse if she had stopped for a pause outside of the forest.

She made her way through the pines and the root, feeling like it was a small respite before having to come out of it. The group had taken a tiny stroll into it a few days ago. Some of Ren's friends being used to come in this station, they talked about what they knew and shared that some cabins were situated in more secluded areas on the other side of the demure pine forest. However, some were accessible by a small path cutting through the forest to join them. The ones further ahead were situated on some sort of platform of land above the rest and too far for her to reach them like that. It was apparently owned by rich owners that built those there. But it was only three out of the six. The three others were located in the other half of the woods, one of them used by the forest ranger.

Those were closer, and at least she thought she might be able to find them. A small road drove to those by the right edge of the forest. She had come from the left, however, so she would have to cut through woods to find them. It was not a very big forest, still, so she had a chance. More importantly, she had some clue, because while she had seen neither of the two bundles composed of three cabins, they had seen the large road leading to the luxurious properties when they had taken that walk Friday. So, she would know she has passed half the distance when she would cross that road.

She only hoped the forest guardian would be there and wouldn't mind letting her enter. And that her endurance would stand the distance. Because there was no way she would find her way back to the station, even with how little ground there was to skim over. Not into that kind of storm.

Her only option was staying in the cover of the forest as long as possible.

Walking. Struggling.

Faster.

Looking around. You can't see anything.

Feet landing in a wall of snow. Again. Again. It's reaching above his knees now. Rubbing flakes out of his sight. Gusts are rushing into his ears. He can't see. He can't see. Why the hell is it so dark? Annoyance.

Mushy powder. Hysteric weather. Grey world falling around him.

Torches light dancing in circles. But nothing in their scopes. Besides those morbid grey flakes.

Faster.

They will soon reach the smaller slopes.

Giving up on stepping over the snow. It's too high. It's reaching his mid-thigh now.

Voices calling after him. Asking him whatever. Ah. To wait for them.

No.

He won't slow down. He will never slow down.

Faster.

They are too slow.

Why are they saying it's so cold? He isn't cold.

But then again, he doesn't feel much. Only one thing.

There is only fear. The evil hook of terror plunged deep, rooted into his still-beating heart. Ready to squeeze. To shape into the cruel merciless hand of despair and reduce to a crisp any living soul inside of him.

It takes him a second to see they are at the slopes, nearly bumping into the metallic pole of the structure of the small railway cabin leading up the mountain.

But there is no one.

Where is she?

Where is she? Where is she?

Searching. Left. Right. The tiny cabin post of the controller of the railways standing nearby. But no one.

The bigger slopes then. Switching left. Faster.

A sound crack. Toned down. Echoing.

Gasps behind him.

Hands grabbing him.

No.

But they make him look. That's when he sees snow has stopped falling. Because he can see further ahead in that direction.

On the other flank of the mountain. A gigantic grey density rushing down the mountain, swallowing the metres in less than half seconds. It's colossal. It's thundering and explosive as it gallops downhill. The ground is vibrating under his feet.

It's not directing itself towards the station, though. His eye catches a safe distance between it and its path as they watch the landing.

His new friend, fear, squeezes a little more inside as the horror of what could be visits in his eyes, before the last grasp of his reason makes him stop. Even in the storm, it's too far away to end up there. Even if you are lost and can't see your feet.

He turns back. His feet move.

His friends stop him again.

"No!" He roars.

There is no time. There is no time.

He needs to find her.

He catches the sight of a fist landing on his chin but he doesn't feel it. He stops. Looking at a face he thinks he knows. Right. Koga. He is screaming at him. The words are foreign. He tries to focus.

"Will you listen a second, you stupid moron!"He is saying.

He only says one word before trying to bypass him. Faster.

A weird feeling at the back of his head.

"Fucking hell! Ouch! Why is your skull so hard, dude?!" He complains before adding. "And listen. We can't go on like that, the weather is too bad."

His whole body freezes for a second before the decision is made and he starts to move again.

He hears another grumble and a body dropping. He doesn't turn around. Walking. He needs to walk faster.

"Why did you hit me?" he hears but the voice is becoming fainter as he moves away.

"Because you suck with words."

He is away, and searching.

He needs to find her.

Please be okay. Please be okay.

Someone catches up with him, keeping up with his pace for a moment. A hand lands on his shoulder, asking for attention. But it doesn't prevent him to move so he doesn't shrug it away.

"A snowplough is coming."Taku says. "That's what Kijima meant to say. The EMS* are stuck at the bottom of the col. It will take a while as it snowed too much at once. But the snowploughs are coming to help clear out the way. And ski trainers are going to help us search."

"Too long." He gruffs out.

"No. You can see the flashlights. Look." He tells him and he glances at the direction given for an instant. "The first one will be here very soon. They won't be able to clear everything but we will be able to use snowmobiles they are bringing with their help. It will go faster."

He stays silent. The pain of staying static makes me want to howl.

"They also asked people to search for her in the station, where the ways have already started to be cleared."

He had stopped and his friend pushes him to turn his way. His sees his friend shudder as he stares at him.

He finally nods.

And true to his word, barely five minutes later, the first snowplough is here. With other people.

His friends talk with the people as he is given instructions how to drive the snowmobile. Restlessness continues to rise inside him. None of the people coming had seen her. Minutes tick by as, one by one, establishments from the other side, in the centre of the station, confirm what he had feared while the snowplough to finish clearing out a path. No one had seen her. Half an hour has passed when it's done, and he climbs up the snowmobile in the next instant.

He is rushing then. His blood pumping with more and more tension. He doesn't even know if he is breathing anymore. Where are you?

He barely know how to control the engine he is pushing further. But it's enough to be fast. He looks everywhere. But there is no one.

He reaches the main ski railway first, bumping the engine in the chains as he stops abruptly.

Cleared out by the snowplough, he checks the controller cabin but it's locked, and there is no one inside.

His friends and other people arrive and they give him a yellow baton. He looks at it in confusion, seeing other helpers with one in their hands.

Isn't it the baton used to dig and test if there is someone buried under snow after an avalanche? He is ready to ask but then –

He sees it.

It's not monstrous like the other but it's not small either.

The landing of a huge amount of snow. Covering the bottom of the slope and a bit further. Then he sees people starting to plunge their batons into the snow. No. His friends look at him with confusion, seeing the horror and despair on his face. No. No.

No. No. No. No. No.

NO!

Kyoko…

He throws himself into the battle as his friends start to understand and pale in horror. Both hoping she is there but alive. And not there but safe, somewhere else.

His eyes widen as he does it for the first time. The depth is measured. Only three feet or a little more.

He hears some ski instructors that came to help, talking. If the person is conscious and not injured too badly, the risk of them staying stuck is low, they say. But if it's worse… They say the issue is more often the striking force a body can endure when an impact happens when the people aren't buried over metres of snow. Or if they had been rolled over too many times with the velocity of the snow. A bad fall can break a neck quite easily.

Darkness is filling the corners of his eyes as he fights the images that still come to poison his mind. Please. Please, no. Please, be alive. Please, please, please.

They talk again and he tenses as his baton pluck in and pluck out softly from the snow. They say they will know easily soon. Despite the area to cover, it will go fast as it's not too deep, they say.

Just be okay. Be okay. Be okay. Be okay.

They were right.

The realization came out sooner than he expected as no one was found, and it didn't take long before the helpers declared there was no one under, and the snowplough could clear it out.

He let out a small breath. She wasn't under. She wasn't suffocating somewhere under there. She wasn't hurt somewhere under. She wasn't there.

His relief short-circuited as the grimmer understanding came back to the surface.

She isn't there.

But where then?

He raced right to the ski instructors, passing by his friends that he saw them taking a break, looking worn out. He understood. He did. It must have been nearly midnight by now. Maybe later. But he couldn't. He couldn't let the abyssal darkness control him until he had found her. He couldn't. He couldn't. He couldn't. He needed to get a grip. He needed to. He needed to.

Kyoko.

She is somewhere.

He needed to stop letting the emotion control him. He needed to be smart. He locked the despair threatening to suffocate him, and blocked the pain. Not now. Later. For now, there was only her. Finding her.

If somethi – …

He would welcome the void darkness with pleasure and abandon.

But not now.

He needed to be strong for her.

She needed him, goddamnit! And it was his fucking fault if she had been put in danger.

Now, brain, work! Where is she? Where would she go? Where could she go? Where would she go? WHERE?

Think. Think.

Where would the smart woman you know by heart go? Where Kuon?! THINK!

She is not under the snow. She is not in the centre of the station. Not in the cafes. She couldn't go up since the ski lifts were closed. But she didn't come back. She could have. She would have if she had realized if he weren't on the slopes. No, she must have realized it. She must have known by that point. She is not stupid.

Think. Think.

So, she knows. She is not focused on warning me anymore. But she doesn't come back. Which means she got lost.

He knew it. There was no other option.

She would have come back if she had found her way.

And they would have cross paths with her if she had been going in the right direction.

It can't be the slopes, she would have noticed she was climbing, and it wasn't back towards the cabin. Come on. Think.

She is smart. She knows she mustn't stay stationary. So, she will move. She will keep walking. For as long as she can.

Think. Think.

And then it hit him. And he grabbed the ski trainer close to him by the shoulders as he came close.

"The trees!"

He turned on his heels faster than a bullet, jumping on the closet snowmobile.

He heard Taku running after him, and stopping him just before he turned on the engine.

"You know." It wasn't a question. "Where?"

"The forest."

Light shined in his friend's eyes and he even smiled a little.

"You are right. She would have thought of that. And it's the only pointer she might have been able to see through the storm."

He nodded as he started the snowmobile.

"Go first but be careful. I'll warn the other before joining you."

He took off then, driving like a mad man to the area where stood the trees. He was on the hillside, nearly reaching the first pine when the sound of a few snowmobiles got to his attention and he heard more than see his friends pushing through their limits to run to him and rejoin where he was.

He continued, though. He couldn't slow. Not now.

He passed the first pine, searching for any sign, letting the adrenaline pulse into his veins and push him to walk faster.

He searched and searched. There must be something. He could feel weariness starting to nag him, close by, and revolted against it. No way in hell. He bit the inside of his cheek and felt the blood pour in. He needed to keep his mind clear. He couldn't miss anything right now.

But then he heard Koga shout. Hailing him. The urgency of his voice made him turn around and he retracted his steps in a sprint.

"Look." Koga said, pointing at the ground. "I don't know if it's hers, you know better."

He did. In the crispy light layer of snow were footprints. Familiar footprints.

Hers.

He could have cried from relief.

Instead, he gave a brief but crushing one-hand hug to Koga whose lungs made a whooshing sound as they expelled all the air inside.

"Cough, cough. Fuck, you are strong."He grumbled. "Yes, I know, you are glad. But don't thank me to death."

He gave his friend a tight-lipped smile, and his friend took a step back, looking ghastly shocked. He turned his face away. "We will find her."

Ren saw that other people were coming, in help. But he wouldn't wait.

He followed the prints. The few he could find. But the more he followed her footprints, the more he had a feeling he knew where she had been going, and the more he accelerated. He knew in what direction go.

He ran.

And as he ran, memories of the past formed in his mind. Snippets of the last times he had been in close agony and she was involved. The pain and worry had been lesser. He hadn't been fearing for her life. But the reminder of those sleepless nights that repeated with no hope of ever ending – Not even by fluke – were imprinted in his memory.

Before she came back.

*EMS: Emergency mountain service.

PS: So... I see people have been enthusiastic about last chapter.

I hope i didn't drive too many people nuts. Kidding.^^ I loved it very much.

Anyway, i wish you to appreciate this chapter. I know it is intense, and rather dark.

Next one might still have some darkness but should end on a sweeter note. So, yeah. Don't worry.

A guest asks to see some things about what happened to Ren while Kyoko is away. You will have some answers in next chapter.

Another guest asked about the aspect of Kyoko learning intimacy while she was in the states. And you were right. She had some.

A third guest said that she had to leave the car to breathe. Please be safe. I know i tease but i don't want any people having accidents. Lord^^'. But i'm very thankful for what you said, it touched me a lot.

Sspaulina: I know. I do that very well. What can I say? I'm a sadist. I love to tease. But this is darker so i promise to not let it drag too long. It's not fluff longing torture, i don't want to be too cruel with all of you.

Lashun316: No, she hadn't told him.

Parkerbear: I hope the lack of Blood Lust will still satisfy you. You seemed quite feasty in her last review. buahahaha

Inna Konovalova: See, new chapter is here. I hope the wait wasn't too long.

Sorry if i'm not always replying to all your sweet reviews, my dear readers. Just know i love them all, and it is always a balm to my heart and i'm very touched by your comments. You are very sweet.

I'm not always in good health as you must know by now so when i'm writing i'm focusing on the most important: updating.

As you can see, i'm a bit better these days and updating more often, so i can take the time to reply to all of you a bit more. Let's cross fingers it last but no promise.

I wish you well, health, happiness and love.

Kisses to you all,

don't die too much reading this, and see you soon.

Mimagfan,

AUTHOR OUT.