Anonymous Review Replies!

DEV: Hahah, yeah, da war Shadow wohl (wie der gesamte Rest der Cast...) eeeetwas vorschnell mit seinen Annahmen ;p Aber jaaaa, sehr happy dass die Battle Birds gut angekommen sind, zu irgendwas muss es ja was gut sein, dass ich alle 300+ issues aus drei Comic Universen mittlerweile gelesen habe XD (Und ja, die Vögel bereuen ihre Provokation vermutlich gerade *sehr*) Dass die Kampfszenen gut ankamen, freut mich, die sind öfters gar nicht so leicht zu schreiben^^; Und yeah, Shadow und Sonic werden vermutlich noch öfters aneinandergeraten re: leicht unterschiedlichen Auffassungen bzgl. Reaktionshärte. XD Aber wo wären wir auch ohne diese Dynamik...Tails durfte auch natürlich noch auftauchen um sich mit den Battle Kukkus zu messen, sind ja schließlich eigtl seine Gegner ;P Aber jetzt auf zum zweiten Teil des Kampfes! Und von mir natürlich wieder ein großes Dankeschön für die vielen fantastischen Kommentare durch das Jahr hindurch - ich update zwar vermutlich nochmal zum Heiligabend meine "All They Want For Christmas" fic, wo diesmal Sonic und nicht Shadow in den Wahnsinn getrieben wird, aber falls du die nicht liest, auf jeden Fall hier schonmal ein fröhliches Weihnachten und guten Rutsch! :D

Empourer: Ahahah, that would be hilarious, I'll see whether I can get that in there somewhere! XD Shadow and Maria might be a bit too old for traditional playground equipment by now but maybe I can think of something he tries to build for them...

LoneGarurumon: Happy to hear that everything worked! :D (And I'm also really pleased everyone likes the Battle Kukkus, they *are* hilariously dorky XD) As for Shadow, he may be the Avatar, but he still has a LOT to learn - I mean, the Ultimate Lifeform of course ;P I do love writing characters as they grow stronger though, so that works out :) Thanks for the wonderful review once again! :D

Chapter 17: What I'm Made Of

There was a crash. It was actually quite a spectacular crash, considering it shattered the entire re-enforced bridge window of the main Battle Kukku warship.

But then again, when it was the combined impact of a Chaos Spear hurled from a biplane, followed by two curled-up Mobian hedgehogs jumping from the same biplane and crashing simultaneously into said window at terminal velocity, it wasn't actually that surprising.

Both Sonic and Shadow bounced off the bridge console as they did, glass shards, electric sparks and splinters raining down around them as they uncurled as one, dropping onto their feet in front of the (very hastily vacated) command center seats. They were now definitely on the bridge, various Kukku soldiers screaming and scrambling backwards, the wind rushing through the open window, whirling notes, maps, splinters and stray feathers through the bridge.

Sonic took a step forward, one hand on his hip and grinning. "Hello again. Thought I'd drop in, makes talking a bit easier on the voice," he said, giving a demonstrative cough. "Dunno why, but I'm feeling a bit hoarse."

"Wha-wha…Sonic! S-Stay back!" A five-foot tall, bespectacled brown cuckoo bird wearing a red commander's jacket with green pants and high-heeled green boots was pressing himself against the wall furthest away from the bridge window. Three smaller, green-, red- and blue-feathered soldier birds were framing him and nervously brandishing laser blasters at them. The way they were obviously trying to shield the taller bird as well as his towering black hat with a white bird skull on it clearly designated him as the leader.

"After you just threatened to attack Central City and almost made roasted hedgehog out of me? Yeah, I don't think so," Sonic retorted, dropping the friendly tone and advancing further towards the frightened birds, movements now downright predatory. "And you can drop your guns. You know I'd be on you before you even pulled their trigger." As if to underline the fact he made a sudden stomp toward them at the last word and the birds collectively flinched, all three of the soldiers dropping their weapons with a yelp.

"Aaaaah!"

"Please don't hit us!"

"Bird bones break too easily!"

"You white-feathered-! I shall have you all court-marshalled!" their leader screeched at them, but even he didn't seem to fancy directly attacking Sonic. Shadow gave the other hedgehog an incredulous stare.

"These are the soldiers we were fighting?"

"Mh-mmh. More stupid than evil, I know," Sonic said, rolling his eyes, before turning back to the birds. "Seriously, you guys live on Cocoa Island, basically in paradise. If you'd just be happy with that instead of constantly gearing up for stupid attacks, me or Tails wouldn't have to trash you every half a year!"

"Well, if you coward weren't a lap dog of the overlanders living there, we wouldn't have a problem," the leader bird snapped back. "We need the Chaos Emerald in their bank!"

"What you need is a kick to the head," Sonic crossed his arms. "And besides, Central City's population is almost half Mobian. So either you leave now or-"

"Wait," Shadow interrupted Sonic, for the first time also addressing the Kukku leader. "Why do you want their Chaos Emerald?"

"Because Doctor Robotnik took ours," the cuckoo snarled. "That means it's only fair if we take one from the humans, too!"

"Oh for…" Sonic pinched the skin above his nose. "No, that's not how it wo-" he began, but that was as far as he got.

Mostly because the second after Shadow had registered the Kukku leader's words, he was already as far in the bird's face as he got at three feet tall (which mostly meant that he had now seized the cuckoo's shirt by the front and had pulled the bird's head down to his own height, snarling with his forehead pressed against the general's).

"Robotnik did what?!"

"Hey!" the red-feathered one of the guards yelped, flailing in Sonic's direction. "We surrendered! Reel your side-kick back in!"

"Call me his side-kick one more time and I will eat you," Shadow replied in a low growl without actually taking his eyes off the leader bird. "The name is Shadow. Why did Robotnik steal your Emerald? And when was this?"

"Only last week! Let me go you unwashed mammal!" the Battle Kukku leader was struggling against Shadow's grasp but it was evident that the cuckoo did not possess the strength of Storm the Albatross by far.

"And what did he want it for?" Shadow underlined that question with another particularly rough yank at the cuckoo's shirt, at the same time raising his other hand to display a flame of crackling Chaos energy in it, nearing the cuckoo's face. "Tell me."

"Can…can we get Tails back? Please?" the other, blue-feathered (and now distinctly pale-faced) guard squeaked in Sonic's direction. What Shadow could see of Sonic from the corner of his eye indicated that the other was currently mostly rubbing his forehead with the heel of his hand and looked like he had a head ache.

"I don't know!" The armada leader screeched, trying to lean away from Shadow's hand holding the energy and glaring at the hedgehog. "Look, do you think the doctor is a Bond villain who narrates his evil plans-?"

Shadow's eye twitched. "If you are lying..."

"Oh gods, please don't tell me this Chamberlain the Hedgehog has replaced Tails permanently as Sonic's sidekick," one of the guards whispered nervously to the other, which was enough to break Shadow's concentration and let the Chaos flame on his palm vanish and his head snap to the side.

"What did you just call me?!"

"Eep!"

"Hey everyone, I remote disabled the cannon system of all the ships and set the Tornado on auto-pilot, so we can-uh…everything…alright here…?" Tails' voice had turned from cheerful to confused at his arrival, the young fox just somehow having helicoptered (Shadow wasn't even going to ask) with his two tails through the broken window and was now staring at the scene in front of him.

All three of the guards immediately fell to their knees toward him, hands folded in prayer.

"Tails!"

"Oh thank the gods you're back!"

"Continue being Sonic's sidekick! Please!"

"Er…" Tails was staring at the three birds, blue eyes huge and evidently casting a glance toward Sonic for help.

"Oh for Chaos' sake," Shadow growled, finally shoving the battle Kukku leader backwards. "This is ridiculous."

"I'll say," Sonic agreed, finally stepping forward and addressing the Kukku leader. "So. Just because Egghead stole from you doesn't mean you can go stealing from others. If you really want your Emerald back, take it up with Buttnik directly. Got it?" he asked. "And now you have ten seconds to scram before I change my mind."

"Wait, what?" Shadow turned to look at Sonic. "You mean, you're just going to let them leave?"

Sonic raised an eye ridge. "Well, they didn't kill or hurt anybody. And I'm not the police, I don't arrest people. If GUN wants them in front of a judge, that's their business and they can go and chase them down." He gave a shrug. "I just care about innocent people not getting hurt."

Shadow stared at him for a moment.

Then:

"…you having to go and battle some other insane person every Monday suddenly makes so much sense."

Sonic blinked. "What?"

"Nothing," Shadow shook his head, not caring to repeat his muttered comment. Then he abruptly whirled around toward the four cuckoos though and took great pleasure in seeing them flinch. "You, however."

"Wha-what?!" The battle armada leader seemed to have scrounged together some semblance of poise again but was still noticeably trying to keep out of Shadow's arm's reach.

"I am not Sonic," Shadow growled. "I am not Tails. And I am definitely not anyone's sidekick." He took another step forward, coming in even closer. "My name is Shadow. And if you show your beak here again, I will hunt you down and kill you. I will turn your skull into a Halloween decoration, your spine into a Christmas garland then I will stuff a seasonal pillow with everything that's left. Come back and die," he stressed. "Everybody got that?"

"Y-yessir!" one of the guards squeaked (and was also subsequently kicked by the battle bird commander), but none of the other cuckoos protested.

Shadow nodded. "Good. Now leave before I blow your ship out of the sky," he threatened (privately hoping nobody would actually call him on this – truthfully, he was mostly out of Chaos Energy for Spears at the moment, the crackle in his hand more intimidation than actual threat. But nobody here really needed to know that.)

"Hm, well, actually…" Sonic's voice piped up behind him, sounding surprisingly calculating. "Could you do that, Tails? Remotely program all of their ships except for the emergency escape pods for self-destruct?"

The fox kit raised his hand, holding up a contraption that looked like what Frankenstein would have built if he hadn't been interested in humans but remotes, and smiled brightly. "After I already hacked into their system? Sure thing, Sonic!"

"Great! Then let's do that and get out of here and - you guys better do the same! Come on, Shads!" Sonic gave a laugh and a grin, grabbing Shadow (who for a moment looked just as non-plussed as the battle Kukkus) by the wrist and pulling him toward the broken bridge window.

"Wait, you can't seriously-?!" the armada leader sputtered, but Tails had already leapt onto the bridge console, waving cheerfully.

"Yeeeah, you got five minutes until everything explodes! Better get everybody out until then!" he announced happily, evidently preparing to jump out the window where he'd come in. "Sonic, Shadow, I'll bring the Tornado round in a second, just hang on a moment, okay?" he asked, just as the klaxons started blaring and the bridge was suddenly flooded with red lights flashing and the console beeping in shrill warning.

Sonic replied something or other at this, but Shadow found he suddenly had trouble making out the words. Somehow, the world had started to feel as if he were underwater, echoes not quite right and the sound of the sirens so incredibly loud he couldn't hear anything else but them and his own blood rushing in his ears, the red lights far too bright and blinding -

"-adow? Every…ight?" Sonic was now suddenly standing in front of him, saying things Shadow had difficulty understanding, the expression on the blue hedgehog's face looking strange, but…also, no, this wasn't Sonic, he was here with…Maria? Shadow's brain suggested and he violently shook his head. No, nothing about this suddenly made any sense, and now his breath was also starting to catch in his throat, even though they were out of the smoke – but of course, he had trouble breathing because he had been shot, taking the bullet the soldier had meant for Maria and they needed to get off the station now before they were both killed -

"We…we need to get away," Shadow heard himself say, voice hoarse and breathless, trying to blink the images away, trying to discern what was real and what wasn't-

"Uh-huh, yeah, that's right. Come on, come, this way," Sonic was saying, face now obviously worried – she had been worried too – and blue fur discoloured by the red light splashing across it – discoloured like her dress your blood all over it her hands cut open – and Shadow almost flinched as a bare, gloveless peach hand closed around his forearm.

"Shadow, we don't have time any more. Come on!" Sonic was hissing at him now, pulling them forward, Shadow following automatically, running through the red lights together, escaping, yes, this was right –

And then Sonic had pulled him through the destroyed window and they were falling, the air hitting Shadow into the face like a sledgehammer, slamming into the phantom memories akin a tsunami and letting his mind snap back into focus.

"We need to-!" Sonic was yelling at him again, pointing toward the red bi-plane soaring toward them, but Shadow cut him off with a nod, pulling back his hand and abruptly activating his skates, spreading his limbs for stability in the air and managed to grab onto Tails' plane effortlessly as it soared past, muscle memory and natural elegance making it easy to swing himself upward and onto the wing, watching Sonic on the other side doing the same.

"You guys alright?! What took you so long?" Tails called back from the pilot seat, "Hold on tight, because-!"

And then there was already an explosion behind them, a blast of fire and heat that washed over them and might have thrown the small plane out of the sky if Tails had lost control of it - but the way the fox kit was controlling the air craft suggested that the mere suggestion would have been laughable. Shadow could feel his own autopilot taking over during the blast, focusing on staying aboard the plane, swinging himself onto the body of the Tornado with practiced grace.

Out of the corner of his eye he was registering the smaller battle pods now filled with the extra 20-30 cuckoos that had been aboard the larger fortress; they seemed to be keeping an eye on them but obviously making no move to attack their plane. Tails actually waved at them before swerving around to take course toward Station Square again, gaining altitude with ease, the flames, wreckage and battlefield falling away beneath them in moments.

"Hey! Hey, Shadow." Sonic's face snapped back into focus as Shadow realized he was now sitting in the passenger seat, Sonic sitting spread-legged on the hull in front of him, facing Shadow and looking at him curiously. "Are you with us again? You suddenly froze up there, dude."

"I…yeah," Shadow forced himself to say, fighting against his still dry throat, shaking his head to dispel the last memories of too-narrow metal corridors flooded with the same red light as the bridge of the Battle Bird armada fortress, the same hum of engines in the background, the same shouts of panicked soldiers somewhere else on other decks…

"I'm - I'm okay," he forced himself to say. "I just," he managed to swallow, tried to close his eyes for a moment, then forced himself to exhale slowly, compose his face and look Sonic straight in the eye. "Never mind."

"Uh-huh," Sonic said, much in the same tone as when Shadow had claimed he of course knew that Sonic wasn't only fighting Robotnik, but the blue hedgehog's expression now looked a lot more…concerned? Searching? Shadow couldn't tell and it irked him.

"Are you guys okay?" Tails called over his shoulder. "Should I fly home or…do we head straight back to school…?"

"Uh, no on both counts, li'l buddy!" Sonic yelled back. "Just, uh, take us to the edge of Station Square for Shadow to get off, and then fly the Tornado home, okay? I think…we've had enough action today."

"If you say so, Sonic," Tails gave the two of them another dubious look over his shoulder but then turned the plane dutifully and sped toward the south. It took Shadow another moment or two to finally get his head straight and back into the present, but then it was easier to find some irritation to glare at Sonic still sitting in front of him and looking at Shadow with an inscrutable expression.

"You don't have to stare at me like that, hedgehog. I said I was fine."

"…if you say so," Sonic echoed Tails, still looking at Shadow somewhat curiously. "But, can I say something else, then?"

"You're going to no matter what I say, right?" Shadow replied, feeling a fatigue coming on that had nothing to do with the battle or the flashback. (It was also mixed with a treacherous feeling of gratitude that Sonic was sparing him the probing questions, but Shadow would throw himself out of the plane before admitting that.)

Sonic gave a broad grin. "Now you're getting it. But, yeah…" he tilted his head. "I mean, you realize, if you want to keep your powers under wraps, threatening to, I dunno, blow a battle fortress out of the sky-"

Shadow didn't even hear the rest of the sentence, mostly because he felt like his insides had just been drenched in ice water.

His powers. The gag order they had all signed. He had just endangered his entire family.

Forget Prison Island, Gerald would likely try to cryogenically freeze Shadow himself now.

"I...yes," Shadow made himself say, then cleared his throat. "You are right. I...I shouldn't have done any of this." He gave Sonic a hard look. "When you said you wouldn't tell the teachers the truth about me..."

"Yeah, you don't have to worry about me telling tales of you using...whatever that stuff was." Sonic gave him a sidelong glance. "Though I gotta admit now I'm actually seriously curious why you can't tell anybody. I mean, your skills were pretty sweet. I would want to show them off," Sonic gave him a grin that Shadow had serious trouble not to yell at, because of course Sonic wouldn't understand.

Shadow could feel the fear still coursing through his system, what if anybody had seen them, why had he done this, just because of a stupid provocation from even stupider birds, why couldn't he keep his temper in check for once, why...

Why did it feel so right to be dancing in fire like they had?

Shadow had to consciously stop himself from curling up in front of Sonic, the mixture of shame for being unable to stay out of a fight for even a week, for craving the opportunity to feel his power, of rage at this world for denying him this, and, worst of all, the fear of what Maria would say settling inside his stomach like a lead ballon. He desperately cast about for any other topic to steer this conversation toward, and was glad to find one in very familiar territory.

"...of course you realize I wouldn't have had to do any of that if you actually cleaned up your messes," Shadow glared at Sonic as condescendingly as possible when your conversation partner was currently seated a foot higher than yourself; Sonic, thankfully, uprighted himself immediately in indignation.

"Excuse me?"

"If you had killed their leader the first time that army tried anything of that sort, they likely would have thought twice about attacking again," Shadow pointed out. "This is what happens when you don't deal with things properly."

"Oh for-" Sonic ran a hand across his face. "Shads, we don't kill people. This is what makes us different from them."

"It's ineffective, is what it is."

Sonic gave Shadow, who was currently crossing his arms and looking away, a look like he wasn't quite sure whether to believe if Shadow meant that or not. Shadow at this point wasn't actually quite sure himself – a part of him resented that Sonic sounded exactly like Maria and Gerald, but he also remembered his own reluctance at attempting a lethal attack on this Knuckles person.

But Maria and Sonic had never been trained as a soldier, a weapon, like he had been. They couldn't understand that sometimes, killing was necessary.

Wasn't it?

Shadow shook his head, shoving that topic, too, toward the back of his mind. He had killed before. He could do so when he needed to again.

"Well, let's see whether that cuckoo army shows their beaks here again after this," Shadow grumbled in what Sonic apparently recognized as the tentative peace offering it was, because the blue hedgehog relaxed again marginally, giving a small laugh.

"Heh, yeah, you scared them quite a bit. I didn't know you could do that with Chaos Energy. Throw it like that, I mean."

"I was cre- I mean, I can do quite a lot with it," Shadow said, hurriedly correcting himself. "But to do more than that, I would need a Chaos Emerald to focus. Which reminds me," he said, eyes abruptly narrowing. "Robotnik is planning something. Even you can't deny this any more."

"Fine, fine, I guess he is," Sonic rolled his eyes, shrugging. "But so what, he's basically planning something on a bi-weekly schedule. Half of the time his crazy schemes implode in on themselves, anyway."

"I don't think this one will," Shadow said, drumming his fingers on the hull of the plane. "Last week alone, he attacked Prison Island, then went and raided a bio chemical laboratory, then stole the Chaos Emerald of these bird people and in between…" a memory sparked to life in Shadow's battered brain. He frowned.

"…wait. You know this weird Jamaican hobo person called 'Knuckles', right..?"

Xxx

"So." Sonic said after Tails had dropped them off at the edge of the city, taking a sharp turn to fly toward the area called the Mystic Ruins where Sonic had said he and Tails had their house. Now it was just the two of them, standing in the late afternoon sun and looking like they had just been through a blender together, fur mussed and quills burnt in various places from their battle.

After Sonic had stopped laughing at Shadow's tale of his run-in with the echidna, a few things had been cleared up – and it was slightly gratifying to know the blue hedgehog at least had also once been on the receiving end of the Guardian's punches. Now said hedgehog was clearing his throat a little, crossing his arms and tapping his foot.

"So," Sonic repeated. "You do know how to handle yourself when things get a bit more dicey."

"As I told you," Shadow frowned at him.

"Except…" Sonic then turned to the side a little, staring instead at the horizon behind which their battlefield had disappeared, not looking at Shadow any more as he continued. "You zoned out a bit there on the airship, huh."

"I - did not-" Shadow found himself immediately snapping back, heart rate spiking, fist reflexively clenched and teeth bared, but Sonic still wasn't focusing on him at all as he continued, tone just as calm as if Shadow hadn't protested.

"And I just wanted to say…I know the feeling. Of memories you don't wanna jog," the blue hedgehog said, fingers interlaced behind his head as he spoke. "But I know it's not too healthy to keep it all bottled up. Had to learn that the hard way," he added and at that, finally turned his head a little and gave Shadow a glance over his shoulder. "We do go to school with a lot of kids without powers, y'know? And humans, who, like, break when you look at them too hard."

Shadow blinked. "I have never-"

"So, all I'm saying is - if you ever need someone to listen to war stories…" Sonic interrupted him, opaque expression pulling into a small grin. "Well. We do have homeroom together. See ya tomorrow!"

And before Shadow could even reply, the blue hero of Mobius had already disappeared in a sonic boom and a dust cloud, leaving Shadow standing there with his mouth half open and blinking.

"I don't…I don't need…" he managed, weakly, but then cut himself off, mainly because even he realized it was ridiculous trying to talk to thin air.

Why did any and all hedgehogs of this school have to be so invested in his emotional well-being, for Chaos' sake?

"And how does he even still have the energy for racing at supersonic speeds now," Shadow muttered under his breath, trying not to sound too resentful. He really needed to get better at practicing Chaos techniques if he didn't want them to tire him out like this.

Well. That or get one of these damn Chaos Emeralds.

Sighing, he then ignited his skates and made for his house. He didn't have a watch or a cell phone yet, but the position of the sun indicated it was probably already past four in the afternoon. If he was lucky, Gerald and Maria wouldn't yet be back from the university and no one would have to know about this...

xxx

"Shadow?" was the first thing Gerald said as soon as Shadow had opened the door to their home and the black hedgehog had to stop himself from cursing.

"Yes. Hello, professor," he said instead, stepping into the kitchen/living room area. Maria was there, too, and both of them were giving him now looks that were a mixture of relief and worry.

"I got a note that you excused yourself from school," Gerald said, tone faintly accusing. "What did you do, Shadow?"

"I, uh…told the teacher I was feeling sick," Shadow replied, already feeling his insides tensing up like they wanted to prove his own lie true. Damn. He had hoped to avoid this. He wasn't even sure Maria being there made this better or worse.

"Shadow, you smell like a chemical waste dump that got set on fire," Maria said, disbelieving. "Where were you?"

"…at a chemical waste dump that got set on fire."

As Gerald's eye brows only rose up even further on his skull (they had a lot of space to do so), Maria blinked at him. Then she took a breath. "Okay. Let me rephrase that. Why were you…wherever you were?"

Shadow wanted to pull a grimace, but didn't. He could lie to them. He knew he wanted to.

But he had never wanted to lie to Maria, and his actions today had endangered all three of them so they deserved to know.

"Sonic left school again. I followed him because I figured your cousin might be there."

"Shadow-," Gerald interrupted immediately, voice sharp, but Shadow shook his head, hurriedly trying to make his point before his creator's judgement could follow.

"He wasn't, professor. It was actually some…strange murder cuckoo army about to attack Central City. They had a battle fleet. Look, I don't know either, okay?" he added, a note of desperation creeping in at the professor's and Maria's baffled expressions. "In my opinion, it's simply that this hedgehog is some sort of…weirdness-singularity and keeps warping this entire universe around him." Shadow ran a hand through his mussed quills, feeling a headache coming on as always when he tried to comprehend the nonsensical nature of what was apparently this planet's greatest hero.

He turned his gaze back toward his family. "In any case, I…helped Sonic and Tails take them down. And no, nobody died. Or saw me do it," he said, also adding "But in my opinion this entire planet's judiciary system leaves a lot to be desired," under his breath.

And from looking at his family's expressions he already knew that this wasn't enough.

"Oh…Shadow, that's great that you helped, but…" Maria started, face obviously pained,

"-but I can't do that, because nobody can find out I'm actually not natural but a fake and my powers are due to the freak alien DNA I was created with. I know," Shadow grated. And it's not FAIR, is what he would have wanted to add, even if he knew himself how ludicrous it was to expect it to be. As if the world had ever done anything else than being set against him, treating him as something less from the start, trying to kill him, trying to kill his family-

- but it hasn't yet, a voice in his head interjected. Your family is here, and they're alive, it said, and Shadow felt his eye ridges draw together at the mental intrusion, anger somewhat replaced by a faint, vaguely unsettling feeling that had his stomach pull together in what felt like relief mixed with irrational dread. Shadow shook his head. It had to have been that moment of confusion aboard the batttleship that dredged those memories up now - the sheer, acute fear of losing the professor, of almost having to watch Maria die that was still burnt into his mind.

That or that strange comment from Mr Silver on Saturday, as if he shouldn't have a family...

"Shadow?" Gerald spoke, and the concerned tone of the old man let Shadow glance back up, slightly surprised at the gentleness. He frowned at Gerald, unsure of what was to follow if not a punishment.

(He had had time to think about that on the way home. What if Gerald adjusted his power rings, strengthened them until they were restrictors capable of suppressing all of his powers instead of just stabilizing and taming them, cutting him off from the flow of Chaos and leaving him crippled, prey, weak and helpless just because he was a danger to everyone otherwise-)

"Shadow, I never..." the old man ran a hand across his head, once again pulling Shadow from his visions by sounding unexpectedly...raw. "I never once thought of you as fake. You're what I poured my lifeblood into, the same as Maria. When I..." he seemed to be searching for words, a rarity.

"Maria...talked to me, recently," his creator said and Shadow shot a glance at Maria, who looked faintly guilty in response. "She mentioned to me how you felt. About who you felt you were."

"Professor-" Shadow started, once again alarmed by what he knew he had said, about himself feeling more like a weapon than a person at times, but Gerald interrupted him, holding up a hand.

"And I suppose could try and tell you that I...understand you. It won't come to you as a surprise that all Robotniks never had it easy fitting in - but I also know that for you it's a level beyond that. And that I had no small part in all of it."

This time, Shadow didn't know what to say, so he just stayed silent, watching as his creator rise again, walking toward the window and looking up at the darkening sky.

"Yes, you are part Black Arms. And it's what made you survive where my other experiments did not, and it's possibly also what gave you your ability to manipulate Chaos as you do." He turned around. "But it would be pointless to pretend that Black Doom's species wasn't an extraordinarily warlike race, aggressive, merciless and territorial to boot. I have studied them and decided to build the Eclipse Cannon aboard the ARK solely because they will return with the intent of total genocide."

Shadow wanted to open his mouth, say something, but found that no words would come out, mouth much too dry to speak, heart beating too fast. He didn't even know he what he would have said to defend himself, because after all, Gerald was just recounting the facts Shadow already vaguely knew.

"And so..." Gerald turned around. "I have been thinking. About what Maria said about how you felt. And maybe I have been wrong about some things."

"...what things?" Shadow finally asked, voice hoarse, and his stomach feeling like it had just dropped a foot lower. Surely the professor couldn't mean that he thought Shadow was unable to function in society at all? I need time, just give me time, he wanted to say, but couldn't. Gerald had never hit him in his life, but Shadow still almost flinched when the professor then suddenly took a step toward him, reaching down to close his hand around Shadow's wrist.

Shadow's gaze instinctively snapped up at the taller human, his first intent to draw his arm back, fight or flee - but then paused when he actually beheld the expression on Gerald's face.

"Shadow," Gerald said, and while he looked unhappy, there was not the expected sternness in the lines around his face. "You're my creation and I made you partly from the DNA of one of the most aggressive races in the galaxy. And then chastised you when you didn't fit in. Fitted you with suppressors when your powers overwhelmed you because I didn't know how to handle you otherwise," he rubbed across one the golden rings around Shadow's wrist with his thumb before giving a humorless huff, dropping his hand to rub across his forehead again. "And to think only the day before yesterday I claimed I had learned how to be better."

"...professor?" Shadow said, aware that his contributions to this conversation so far had been rather lacking, but also because now he actually had no idea where this was going. True to that, Gerald then actually gave him a twitch of his lips that looked like a sad smile.

"So, I don't think I'm allowed to be surprised you would feel 'fake' after all that," Gerald said. "I tried to forbid you from fighting and from using your powers, an intrinsic part of who you are and what happened?" Gerald asked. "You got into no less than three different altercations in a single week. Two of them during school hours."

"I didn't - I mean, I hadn't planned - I mean, what are you actually saying?" Shadow asked, staring at Gerald in confusion. "Because I really can't tell."

His creator blinked at him, then glanced upwards as if replaying the conversation so far, trying to see what it would have sounded like from the other side. "...ah. I suppose I may have been a bit cryptic. What I'm saying, Shadow, is that your difficulties are far from your fault alone. And that I will do my utmost to try and figure out a way how you can be who you are - without the fear of suffering the repercussions for it."

"You mean...you mean you want me to be able to use my powers?"

"Yes," Gerald nodded. "At least, in a constructive way. I think I have realized by now that forcing you to be a pacifist like me is not the way to go. I don't know quite yet what to do about it - maybe somehow try and get you registered as a Mobian with powers after all, force GUN to go public about the existence of the Black Arms, I'm not sure how yet..." Gerald paused here, and then actually lowered himself onto a knee as well, putting a hand on Shadow's shoulder, before he continued, "-but most of all I wanted you to know, before I have to go, that you're mine, Shadow, and I always will be proud of who you are."

Shadow's mouth felt once again too dry to speak, but this time for entirely different reasons.

Then something his creator had said suddenly jumped to his attention and Shadow felt his heart plunge into his stomach.

"Professor?" he swallowed, "You said 'before you go', does that mean...are you...?"

He couldn't quite voice the question. Shadow had of course known this would come eventually - raised in a science laboratory, he had learned about mortality and its inevitability earlier than most children, and Maria herself had spent more than half her life with death a constant spectre at her side - but to think that the professor - he wasn't even that old, wasn't he-?

Shadow licked his lips, "Isn't...isn't there something you can do-?"

Gerald stared at him, completely mystified.

"Something I can...Shadow, what? I'm going to a science conference in Apotos, for goodness sake, I am not dying!"

Shadow blinked. "...oh."

"The nerve! I'm not that old yet, you whippersnapper," Gerald shook his head, abruptly rising and moustache bristling, also ignoring Maria's only slightly unstable expression next to him. "No, as I mentioned last night, I will be leaving for a conference on Thursday," he said, voice dry before it turned to become slightly warmer again, "And I wanted...just in case something happened when I'm not here, even something possibly involving Ivo, I didn't want you facing it without knowing that I am, and always will be, on your side."

There was a bit of a pause.

Finally, Maria came up from behind, bending down and hugging Shadow, laying her head on his shoulder and also looking up at Gerald.

"Oh wow, Grandpa, I think you broke him," she said, but while her voice sounded like she was smiling, it at least also sounded a bit choked. Gerald gave a faint snort, finally turning to the side and taking his glasses off to wipe them.

"Yes, well," he huffed. "Hope was the one who suggested we needed to communicate more in this family, scientific rigor demands we test the hypothesis." He sighed once more, then put his glasses back on and favoured Shadow with another glance.

"So yes. This is what I mainly wanted you to know. I'm glad we had that talk and...please don't blow anything too noticeable up until I'm back again and we can tackle that problem together? Or at least make sure nobody sees you do it."

"I...promise I'll try," Shadow nodded, the presence of Maria wrapped around him making it curiously easier to find his speech again. Gerald nodded.

"Very good. If anybody needs me, I'll be in the lab until dinner. Recuperating from this conversation. Order whatever you like and get me when food is ready. And Shadow, mine or not, for the love of Chaos shower before we eat," Gerald said, pointing a last finger at Shadow, before retreating to the downstairs lab rather faster than he usually moved. Maria buried her face in Shadow's shoulder and muffled a snort into his fur.

"Oh man," she then said, uprighting herself again and shaking her head. "By the way, I'm sorry for telling him the things you told me, but I think it was the right decision. I'm...worried about you when you get in trouble," she said, biting her lip a little.

"I...know. I'm not angry at you," Shadow said, trying to make sense of the confused mess of feelings inside, warmth, guilt, pride, the ever-present rage, fear and love all tangled into a giant 'Analyze this!' Freudian ball.

"But I'm glad we get to actually talk about this, now," Maria said. "Y'know, despite being Robotniks, I think we're getting better."

"Hnh," Shadow made a noise rather than an actual reply, nodding. Suddenly, he felt exhausted. "Although after all this I didn't even get to mention why that cuckoo army was attacking. Turned out your cousin had stolen their Chaos Emerald, so now they wanted to steal the one in a bank in Central City."

"Did he," Maria replied, eyes narrowing as her mind instantly switched gears when presented with new information for an open riddle. "After trying to steal that Master Emerald thing from this Knuckles person, too. Hmm." her eye brows drew further together. "He is rather active."

"Yes," Shadow nodded. "So, if he then also was behind whatever it was that stalked us when we went shopping-"

"-I'd better make some progress on that stealth-technology-detection device I' ve been working on," Maria finished the sentence. "Maybe I should ask Tails whether he has any input on that..."

"By all means, invite the dynamic duo into our house again," Shadow answered flatly and nearly automatically, but even he had to admit that after Tails had saved their lives today and Sonic had been...well, Sonic, it was getting harder and harder to summon genuine acidity when talking about them.

Maria gave a laugh and shoved him lightly. "Oh come on! The last dinner we had with them was fun. Ask Tails about his email or phone number at school tomorrow, all right? Or what's that Mobian messaging app again? Snipe Chat? Though speaking of dinner..." she trailed off, sniffing a little pointedly.

"Point taken," Shadow gave her a flat stare before turning around and starting to climb the steps toward the communal bathroom. Inside, he was still feeling pretty...mixed about the events of the day, but at least, people now seemed to start to listen to him about Maria's cousin. With events finally in motion, returning to school tomorrow and possibly sitting around for six hours without anything happening did at least not seem so torturous anymore, Shadow thought as he stepped into the shower cabin.

The next morning, when Mr Steward stood in front of their home room class and announced that the next two days would be a block course devoted entirely to sex education, this opinion of course went out of the window.

To be continued...

HO HO HO, have a warm and fuzzy seasonal update for the last chapter of this fic this year! :) If you do like this story and enjoy seeing Shadow being emotionally tortured by feelings and friendship (and Sonic) I will also point you toward my Holiday fic currently being finished, titled "All They Want For Christmas" which comes with all the comedy, diabetes-inducing sweetness and main cast-related insanity you would expect when our heroes try and get a Christmas party together. That said, wishing you all already happy holidays and if you read this chapter, a review would make a perfect present ;)

Cheers,

Taranea