A/N: I LIVE

Sorry about the hiatus. I wasn't intending to have one but I've had a lot of stuff happening offline that's been keeping me busy. I like to try and do my final proofread in one sitting as that makes it easier to find any repetition or repetition, but this usually takes most of the morning and I was getting very stressed trying to find the time. Then I realised this wasn't healthy and I should probably just take a break. So a break has been taken and I feel much better for it.

Thank you for your patience, now enjoy your scheduled hobbit melodrama :)

It was the day after Nick's party. Meg, her mother, the twins and Martin were kneading bread dough when Clover arrived. Mrs Delver looked up at her through straggles of dark hair. "Hello, love. We missed you yesterday."

"Sorry. I was a tad busy," Clover said, dropping her weekly wages into the jar on the kitchen dresser.

"How much've you been giving us?" Mrs Delver said, straightening up and trying to brush her hair out of her eyes.

"Six shillings a week," Clover said, becoming uneasy. "Do you need me to start giving the other two?"

"No, it's just I swear there's more in that jar than there used to be. I thought mayhap you was giving us all."

"More money's always good, I s'pose," Clover said, eyeing the jar. "But it's not coming from me. Thought I'd lend a hand with getting ready for Yuletide."

"That's nice of you. Not much to do today, though. Nothing needs doing with the presents an' it's too early to start on the cake."

The background chatter coming from the other rooms suddenly became sharp with anger.

Mrs Delver sighed and moved quickly to the door. "I'll go an' see what's up. Could you put the dough in for proving, Meg?"

Clover watched Mrs Delver leaving from the corner of her eye. She walked up beside Meg and helped her get the dough into the large mixing bowls.

"How're you doing today?" she said, quietly enough that the children wouldn't be able to hear.

"All right," Meg said, smiling wanly. "Better than I have been, I think. I'm sorry I was being an ass before."

"You weren't."

"I was. I got so obsessed with Nickon. I'm not sure why, looking back on it." She shook her head. "I don't like who I've been these last weeks. It was like I couldn't see anyone else anymore."

"You told Mum about what happened with Winden?"

"No. Should I?"

This reversal of the usual state of affairs (Meg asking her for advice) seemed to take Clover by surprise, though she didn't say anything about it. "Not if you don't want to. But I wonder if you'd feel better for telling her about it."

Meg nodded. "I do want to, but it's so hard to talk to her alone. She won't be angry, will she?"

"Not with you. I could get the little'uns out of the way if you wanted."

Meg looked over at the children. Martin was covered with flour and she tutted. "Look at you. You need a good dusting." She went to him and started wiping his face with her handkerchief in spite of his squeals of protest.

"That's sorted," Mrs Delver said, coming back into the kitchen. "Just Maizey and Poppy having a spat."

Clover nudged Meg's shoulder. She was expecting an answer to her offer. Meg looked up at her and gave a small nod.

This was all Clover needed. She clapped her hands and walked over to their mother with an air of authority. "If you can be doing without your bakers I was thinking the four of us could go and find some greenery to decorate the hole."

"Dad was going to take us up tomorrow," Martin said.

"Well I've seen how the gentry decorate their smial, so I reckon I could make ours look just as grand. It'll be a surprise for Dad," Clover said.

Mrs Delver snorted. "He'll like that; having our hole modelled after the gentry."

"If he din't want the hole modelled after the gentry he should've been here to stop us. Where is he?"

"Gone to see Mr Warren. They're talking about sending word to the Mayor to get him to sort out the Men," Mrs Delver said, rolling her eyes. "You can take as many as want to go." She straightened up as the three children ran into the corridor to get their cloaks. "You sure you'll be able to manage them all on your own? Why don't you give her a hand, Meg?"

"I can cope," Clover said quickly.

Meg's anxiety was rising a little, but she knew that in order to make it go away completely she would need to tell her mother. "Thank you, Clover," she said.

Clover smiled briefly at her before following the children out. There was the rising sound of feet and chatter in the hallway, which was cut off abruptly as the door shut behind them.

"Can't remember the last time it was just the two of us in, lass," Mrs Delver said.

"Me neither…" Meg's hands were trembling. She knew what came next, and if she didn't do it now she didn't think she ever would. It would never get any easier.

"You feeling all right, Meg?" Mrs Delver said. "You've gone right pale."

"I'm all right," Meg said, but pulled out a chair to sit down. She was starting to feel lightheaded. "Mum, there's something I need to tell you…"

The trip to the Green Dragon had given Tiger Lily a great deal to think about and she had spent most of the next day mulling it over.

Of most concern was the incident in the barn. Half of her thought process was made up of unsettled, frantic recollections in which she went over the events again and again to try and completely understand everything that had happened. The other half was imagining what might have happened if she hadn't panicked and asked Rob to stop. The imaginings weren't unpleasant. Perhaps she could try being a hussy, just for a little bit, to see what it was like…

"Are you all right?" her mother said, making Tiger Lily start.

"Yes," she squeaked, tilting her book up to make it look like she was still reading.

"You look flushed," Mrs Took said, setting her embroidery in her lap. "You're not coming down with a fever, are you?"

"No."

She tried to move her mind away from the barn and instead focus on the other thing that had been bothering her about the previous evening: the brief conversation she'd had with Lavender Hobble. The way Lavender had looked at Tiger Lily when she admitted she'd been keeping her courtship from Sango was unsettling. It had been an unpleasant mixture of concern and confusion.

She had come to realise that there was something off about her keeping her courtship secret from Sango. It wasn't something she had planned or done deliberately. It had just sort of happened; the result of inaction, rather than a deliberate decision. Until now she hadn't thought about it much, but now she could think about little else. And the more she thought about it, the sillier it seemed.

One of the few things she was sure of was that Sango loved her. He wasn't in love with her, that was something else entirely. But he loved her none the less. He might have told her it would be silly to try and court Rob, but he would understand once she explained it to him. He would be happy that she was happy. He also knew about love, and she was feeling a little lost at the moment. Sango would be able to help her.

Meg stared at the wall blankly as her mother held her. There was some comfort from the arms around her shoulders, but that was all there was. She was empty of anything else.

"I'm not angry," Mrs Delver said, placing a hand on Meg's head. "I want you to understand that I'm not angry. But I wish you'd told me."

"I know," Meg said in a small voice. "I did't want to upset you."

The arms drew back and Mrs Delver pulled a chair out to sit facing Meg. "I'm your mother. You can't upset me, not properly."

"I thought you'd be disappointed that I was ruined, that I'd brought shame on the family…"

Her mother pulled her into another hug, one hand stroking Meg's hair as she shushed her like a baby.

"There's plenty who are with child when they're wed," she said. "There's no shame in it. But he wouldn't wed you, an' that's his fault, not yours. You can't disgrace the family, you are the family."

"But I'm the eldest," Meg said. "I'm meant to be the one you don't need to worry about. If I'd died taking that stuff you'd have had to explain to everyone what happened."

Mrs Delver let Meg go and looked her in the face. "That's what you were worried about? Not that you could've died?"

"No. Yes. I don't…" Meg leaned forward and covered her face with her hands. Even now she couldn't admit that the thought of throwing her own life away was less distressing than burdening her family with an illegitimate child.

Mrs Delver tucked a lock of Meg's hair behind her ear. "You've always been such a help to me, even when you were small. Looking after the little'uns, helping me around the smial, making me cups of tea… I've told you those early years were hard, but they would've been so much harder if it weren't for you. I always thought how lucky I was to have you." She cupped Meg's face in her hands. There were the beginnings of tears in her eyes. "I ask too much of you. And I am so, so sorry that I've caused you harm."

"You haven't," Meg said, dismayed. "You're so good, Mum."

"I've let you down."

"No."

They hugged again and for a few moments Meg was a faunt and nothing mattered other than that she was in her mother's arms. She was safe.

"Could you tell Dad for me?" Meg whispered.

"If you want me to."

"Don't let him hurt Winden."

Mrs Delver scoffed. "I'll hurt Master Hale myself when I get the chance."

Meg leaned out of her arms to look up at her mother's face. "No, please. Don't."

"All right. But I don't think you'll need to worry about your father. He's all thunder without the lightening. Now: you"—she pulled Meg to her feet, turned her around and fiddled with the knot of her apron—"are going to spend the rest of the day doing something for yourself."

Meg's weak protests were ignored as she was ushered out of the door and found herself left on the step.

Something for herself…

No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't think of anything.

Tiger Lily had set out for Overhill soon after first breakfast. Sango's new home, The Rookery, was a snug smial built into the side of a low hillock. It was old, and smaller than the house at Boffin's Farm. The panelled walls were tarnished, there were tiles missing from the back of the fireplace and in places the carpets were so bare it was impossible to tell what colour they had once been. Still, it was warm, and cosy in a shabby sort of way. Sango was at his writing desk in his bedroom when she arrived.

"Hello, Tills. I wasn't expecting you today."

"I just thought I'd drop by," she said, smiling to mask her nerves. His room gave them the privacy she needed for this conversation. There was no excuse not to go through with it now.

"Nice to see you regardless. If you like we can go for a walk once I've finished this," he said, looking back down at the paper before him. "Can you think of a rhyme for 'anguish'?"

"Uh…" Tiger Lily perched on the edge of his bed. She wrung her fingers as she listened to the scratching of Sango's pen "'Languish'?"

"Hmm…" He tapped his quill against his chin. "That sort of rhymes too well. Who did you bring with you?"

"I came by myself."

He glanced at her, smiling softly. "Like the old days? If you want a chaperone I could see if Balbus or Aunt Breynia are available, but if they're busy I'm not sure who else there is. We might be able to get Citrine Lightfoot but it's not a sure thing. Mother's visiting Aunt Lobelia so we can't ask her. Or is this just a flying visit?"

"I don't know…"

Something about the tone of her voice must have alerted him to her anxiety because he looked up from his paper and turned in his chair to face her. After examining her face for a moment he turned his chair and sat leaning his head to the side, pressing his fingers to his temple.

"You're worried about something," he said. It wasn't a question.

Tiger Lily turned her face away, unable to stand the way he was looking at her.

"Do you want to tell me about it?" he said. His face was open and patient. "Maybe I could help."

Tiger Lily took a deep breath. She had to say it. There was no way to ease into it. "There's nothing the matter. I've started courting, that's all."

Whatever reply he had been expecting, this evidently wasn't it. He blinked and drew his head back a little as his eyebrows rose up his forehead, where they became obscured by his messy locks. "Oh. Gosh." Then his face relaxed into a grin. "Congratulations. So who's your dark-eyed beau, then? Is it Monno Grubb? He's a fine fellow but he's been unattached for such a long time."

"It's not him. It's... Um…" She twisted her fingers together. "Rob Delver."

Sango's grin froze in a startled rictus before slowly disappearing. He laughed uncertainly. "Surely not. You're joking."

"No."

Sango's mouth hardened into a thin line. He turned away from her and half-covered his face with a hand, closing his eyes. Tiger Lily stood by his chair and put a hand on his arm. "I'm sorry, Rowley. I know you said it would be a silly thing to do but—"

"Do your parents know?" he said, opening his eyes and looking up at her.

"He can hardly ask for permission properly with Father away."

"There's your mother."

She didn't have a proper reply for this, so she turned away from him, folding her arms protectively around her.

"Tiger Lily," Sango said seriously, stepping in front of her and gently resting his hands on her shoulders. "He didn't… He didn't bully you into it did he? You can tell me."

"No!" she said, half-laughing at the absurdity of Rob bullying her into anything.

Sango huffed and folded his arms. "I don't know why you're laughing, I can't think of any other reason you would have consented to this. How long has it been going on?"

She shuffled her feet, embarrassed at her accidental deception. "We started about the time you moved to Overhill."

He opened his mouth as his eyes widened. "Why have you kept it a secret for so long? How?"

"We try to keep out of the way when we meet. You know I find crowds difficult."

Sango groaned and covered his eyes.

"What?" she said.

He inhaled sharply through his nose and brought his hands away from his face. He made firm eye contact with her. "Your parents should know."

They were silent as the words solidified in Tiger Lily's mind and she realised their true meaning. She clenched her fists, digging her nails into her palms. "Don't you dare. It's not your place to tell them."

"Someone has to if you won't. If I don't tell them and something happens…" He winced and covered his face with his hands again.

"I thought you would understand," Tiger Lily said, desperately trying to appeal to his sense of comradery. "You and Lavender—"

"I told you, Lavender and I are different!"

"Why?"

"Just leave it, won't you?" he said.

"Why aren't you happy for me?" she said, and surprised herself with how angry she was.

He scoffed. "Did you expect me to congratulate you for finding such a match? For putting yourself at such risk? I've known you twenty years. And in that time I have lied, and lied, and lied for you. All for the sake of your reputation, which you're now squandering on some pauper you've known for, what, three months?"

Tiger Lily stopped her pacing and turned on him. "Don't call him that, he worked on your farm. You are such a child sometimes!"

"And you're not? I specifically told you not to do this. I thought you had enough sense to follow my advice but apparently I was mistaken."

"But you never told me why you were giving me such advice. You could tell me why now."

Sango flinched as though he'd been struck across the face. "I'm not the person to have that conversation with you."

Tiger Lily groaned. "No one ever tells me anything. Why can't people just tell me things?"

"I am telling you that lad will ruin your reputation. Isn't that enough? Why would you even consider courting a lad like him?"

"I don't know…" Tiger Lily hesitated as she tried to put her feelings into words. "Because he's kind and gentle and thinks I'm worth something…"

"There are plenty of suitable lads who are gentle and kind and whatever else you want. But why him? You wanted an exotic diversion to get one over on your mother?"

Tiger Lily flushed with indignation. "That's not it at all!" Her anger simmered as she tried to compose herself, and tucked a stray hair behind her ear with a shaking hand. "And what if I do need an outlet? I can't take the endless needlework and lace. Without hunting I'm just watching the clock tick down forever. Stuck." She kicked a sturdy wooded trunk in the corner of the room.

"And what? You think you'd be happier as a farmer's wife?"

Her toes were stinging but she did her best to hide it. "I don't know! Maybe. What else am I supposed to do? Wait by the side of the dance hall and watch while all the other lasses are chosen? And then to be blamed at the end when I'm left without a partner!"

"I can help," Sango said, his voice verging on panicked delirium. "I can introduce you to my friends, any lad you want, but you need to stop seeing that—"

Not wanting to hear the rest, Tiger Lily turned on her heel and marched out of the room. "I'm leaving."

Sango followed her. "You don't want to listen to me because you know I'm right! Look!" He managed to slip in front of her in the hallway. "I honestly don't think you understand the danger your putting yourself in. What about your future? What about your family?"

She brushed him aside and stormed down the corridor. "I can't talk to you when you're being an ass."

"Tilly, please!" he shouted after her as she slammed the front door shut. She stood on the step, hugging herself and trembling a little. She realised she'd forgotten to take her cloak with her but couldn't face going back in to retrieve it. She ran around to the stables to get her pony and get home as quickly as she could. Once she got there she could go about her day and pretend this conversation had never happened. Home might be boring, but at least it was safe.

Meg passed another brick along to Maizey, where it got passed down to the rapidly growing walls of the house. The bricks were heavy and Meg's back and legs were aching. Dusk was settling now and Mr Delver approached the group of Men who had been supervising them (in the sense that a few of them had been sat on the verge across the road from the houses, smoking and drinking amongst themselves). They had consented to letting the Hobbits go home, though they hadn't phrased it so politely.

"I'm going up to the farm to collect the little'uns," Mr Delver said, rubbing his shoulder absentmindedly. "See you lot back at the smial."

"Actually, Dad," Meg said just as he started to walk away. "I'll be a bit later than normal. Tell Mum I'll be along."

"Aye?" Jonson said. "Calling on Nick Hobble, are you?"

She shrugged before heading off with a breezy step. "There's just something I need to do."

Even from outside the Hobble's house Meg could hear that someone was in the workshop. She pushed the door open to find Nickon alone inside, shaping an overly-large spoke that was probably intended for one of the Men's waggons. He hadn't noticed that there was someone in the door way.

"Evening," she said.

Nick started and spun around. When he saw who it was he sighed and leaned on the work bench. "Blimey, Meg, you gave me a fright."

"Why're you still here, Nick? You should've finished long ago."

He shrugged as he put his plane down and wiped his hands with a cloth. "I like my work."

She folded her arms and leaned against the doorpost. "If you was never interested in courting me you should've just said from the start. It would've saved both of us a lot of bother."

He froze, and looked at her sheepishly. "I'm really sorry. I was foolish, not thinking about… things. I tried to undo it, but it was already too late and…" He trailed off and pinched the bridge of his nose. "I hope I din't do you too much harm."

"Not you." She sighed. "I'm sorry myself. I din't listen to you. I was only thinking about what I wanted, not what you wanted."

"That wasn't why I din't like you," he said quickly. "I just can't be courting right now."

"Aye."

He smiled uncertainly at her. "We all right, then?"

"I reckon we are. You do care about Jack, though, don't you?"

He laughed nervously. He didn't seem to be sure how she meant that. "Aye. He's my friend."

He seemed sincere. Meg believed him. "Good. Is Lavender in?"

"Was in the house last I saw her."

Meg gave Nick a final glance before she stepped through to the house. Mr Hobble was stoking the fire while Lavender was knitting in a well-loved armchair.

"Hello, Lavender."

She nodded. "Meg."

Meg sat in the seat closest to her, not sure how to proceed. "How's work?"

"Hmm." Lavender didn't take her eyes away from her clicking needles. "You wouldn't rather talk to Nick about it?"

"We talked a little just now. Don't think we'll be seeing much of each other after today."

"Ah." In spite of her coldness, a tender look passed over Lavender's face and she turned her eyes up to Meg's. "You all right?"

"Aye. I never thanked you for helping me after Winden left."

Mr Hobble straightened himself up, holding his creaking back as he got to his feet. "What's that?" he said.

"Nothing, Dad," Lavender said. "Lass stuff."

This was enough to deter him from asking more questions and he went to join Nick in the workshop.

"I only did what anyone would do. Why're you bringing it up now?" Lavender said.

"I wanted to. Thank you. Sorry that I've been a bit off these last weeks. It wasn't your fault. I should've listened when you suggested I stop seeing Nick."

Lavender shrugged. "Everyone's allowed to be a bit off now and then." She tucked the knitting into a basket of wool at her feet. "I need more blue. You fancy going down to Button's?"

Meg smiled as she followed Lavender to the door. "I don't have any money."

Lavender grinned wickedly as she threw her cloak around her shoulders. "Well, Mrs Button doesn't know that."

Meg left the Hobbles' house feeling much freer than she had done in a long time. She still wasn't quite happy yet. Not deep down. But she knew that if she tried hard enough she would be able to get there one day. It was just a matter of patience.