A/N: Hello, everyone! Happy New Year! I hope you all are doing well and enjoyed the holiday season. Thank you all for the favs/follows/reviews! I love them all and you all so much!
I bring more pain! Ahahaha! Trust me, I legit cried writing the last chapter.
Anyways, here is the next one. Please enjoy! I welcome all new and returning readers! :D
Warnings: Descriptions of self harm, suicide, language, Hellsing typical violence, please be aware
Even after the ripples dissipated, Walter continued to leer down at the Thames as if he was expecting Olivia to resurface or for Alucard to fly to her rescue.
When neither occurred, he flicked his cigarette into the depths below and peered over his shoulder at the two restrained teenagers, taking in their hysterical forms with an eye roll.
"Quit your blubbering." He sauntered back over to them with his hands in his pockets. "Perhaps I should've gagged you both as well."
"How could you?!" Anderson literally spat on him, his glasses hanging off his nose as he beheld Walter with pure hatred. "HOW COULD YOU?!"
Walter said not a word, instead wiping the spit off his cheek with a handkerchief, before shifting his gaze to Pushpa who couldn't even speak coherently through her wails.
"How could I? You should know why considering it was the reason you came to London in the first place," Walter matched his glare with his own, "Duty. It was my duty as Sir Hellsing's soldier to—."
He was cut off by Anderson spitting on him again, this time hitting him dead in the eye.
"Repulsive brat." Walter violently reeled in him and kneed him in the abdomen, rendering him unconscious and rousing an ear shattering scream from Pushpa. "So fucking noisy." He subdued her as well by hitting the back of her head and sighed in relief before slinging both over his shoulders. "Finally. Peace and quiet."
"The Major is very angry with you, Walter~" Schrödinger materialized before him, wagging a finger in front of his nose. "That woman won fair and square, only for you cheat in the end! What poor sportsmanship!"
"A fucking Nazi dares to lecture me about manners?" Walter shoved him aside with a scoff. "How rich."
"This battle had nothing to do with you; it was between The Major and that woman. You were told to stay out of it." Schrödinger kicked around a piece of rubble with a dramatic sigh. "Ah, The Major was so ecstatic when that woman devoured her parents—he immediately stood at attention and called her 'Your Majesty!'. How he longed to go to war with both her and Alucard. If only you weren't such a—."
"Fuck off." Walter placed the teens in his car's backseat and slid into the driver's side, slamming the door behind him. "I don't need to explain myself to anyone."
"Temper, temper! You're lucky The Major still plans to help you!" Schrodinger called out, opening a portal behind him. "But don't think he will forget about this! The Major may excuse a lot of things but he doesn't take betrayal lightly!"
Walter just flipped him off before speeding away, causing several pieces of debris to fly over the bridge's edge—one of them being Olivia's wedding ring.
With a light 'plop!', the ring sunk beneath the water's surface and out of sight, the gem emitting a faint glow that faded in and out like a heartbeat.
Betrayal.
The heart of all sin considered the lowest and furthest from Heaven—a horrid, despicable act that even Satan himself won't look upon you, instead freezing your wretched form into his throne where not an ounce of warmth or light will ever grace you.
A fitting punishment, truly, because to betray another means you have not an ounce of warmth in your soul already.
Whether your motivation was envy, gluttony, greed, lust, pride, acedia, or wrath, the agony you've inflicted on another outweighs any physical injury for you have forever violated their soul.
Physical wounds heal—they may scar but they heal.
Emotional and psychological wounds? They may dull over time but the pain never ceases and the pure love and trust that person once had is forever sullied by your betrayal.
And, what is worse, is sometimes the wound doesn't get a chance to dull.
Sometimes, that person dies with that single act of betrayal that last thing they experience in this world.
And, as Olivia stood in her flower field, all she could feel were the three bullets in her chest and icy lips on her ear whispering, "Farewell".
Walter had betrayed her.
It was not a monster, Hellsing, or even herself that ended her life but the one person who she trusted the most.
And he did it without an ounce of remorse or sorrow.
Olivia's hair and dress—the same one Martha had sewn for her—billowed around her like waves and as she watched the field begin to wilt from the outside in, Olivia knew it was over.
She was dead.
Her body laid at the bottom of the Thames where it would be feasted on by animals before being left to rot.
And her husband, her dear Alucard, would be chained at the mercy of his captors, never knowing her physical fate except that she broke her promise to never leave his side.
"Alucard….." Bubbles spilled from Olivia's lips as tears floated from her eyes. "Forgive me…"
Noticing her hands were clasped together, she parted them and found a blood stained daffodil resting in the center of her palms, the final, frayed remains of her connection to Earth—to Alucard.
Time was fading fast as the decay quickly surrounded her, and Olivia knew this was her one chance to ensure her death wasn't in vain.
This would be her final attack.
Pressing a kiss to the petals, Olivia lifted her hands upwards and declared her last testament.
"With the remnants of my soul, I release yours. Never again will anyone hold you captive. I free you from Arthur, from Abraham, from Hellsing,….and from myself." Taking a deep breath, Olivia donned a quivering smile as the decay reached her feet. "Farewell, my love."
And she flung the daffodil into the air just as the field dissolved beneath her and Olivia felt her body slowly plummet into the vast abyss below.
The further the daffodil floated the away, the deeper Olivia sank. And when the flower was completely out of sight, Olivia's eyes fluttered shut as the darkness overtook her.
Breathing her last, Olivia's body faded to dust and she was no more.
All that remained was a melody that was swept upwards in a flurry of bubbles that, upon reaching the daffodil petals, erupted into a golden light that vanquished the darkness blind.
For all our lives
Until death and beyond
Together shall we be
From now on until the end of eternity
In the bowels of the Hellsing dungeons, Alucard sat bound and muzzled with his back to the wall.
Upon hearing his screams, Arthur had him gagged but that didn't stop his muffled wails as he desperately tried to search for Olivia's heartbeat.
But he found nothing—hefeltnothing.
It was as if she never existed.
'My dear Alucard, I release you from me,'
No, he refused to believe it.
His Olivia was unbeatable, countless foes had dared to strike her down but she always stood as the victor in the end.
Besides, she promised him—they vowed to each other—to stay together forevermore.
'Please,' Alucard slumped forward, his hair clinging to his damp forehead. 'I beg you….bring her back to me…..you have always ignored my prayers but with all my being I beg you, Father,….bring Olivia back to me….I will live forever as slave, I will lick my captor's boots and bow my head if it means she comes back….so please….I beg of you…..hear my prayer…..'
Suddenly a warm pairs of hands cupped his cheek and his head shot up, eyes wide with frantic hope, only to cringe back as a blinding light enveloped him.
The muzzle and chain were removed and before Alucard could question this phenomenon or dare to open his eyes, a kiss was placed against his lips as a recitation of their wedding vows caressed his ears.
Then, the light and warmth faded and Alucard opened his eyes to find himself free of his bindings and covered in daffodil petals.
"Wha—?!"
*Clink*
Something clattered to the cobblestone floor—something small and round—that rolled towards him before stopping at his feet.
The deafening echo of a bell filled his ears as he slowly leaned forward to pick the object up, his fingers quivering with every chime.
Then, just as his bare fingers grazed the object, the sigils Abraham VanHelsing craved into his flesh vanished into a plume of smoke, and Alucard collapsed onto his elbows as the final stone was lifted from his undead soul.
It was as if he'd finally breached the surface after being held under a raging current, and all Alucard could do was cough and hack his lungs out as Olivia's wedding ring laid before him.
He was free.
With the last of her soul, Olivia had granted Alucard his freedom.
But Alucard felt no joy at this revelation.
This was no sweet death at hands of a worthy foe.
This was not an eternity by Olivia's side.
This was worse than Hell.
Olivia was dead while he lived.
Picking up Olivia's ring, Alucard held it upwards, his face blank before a smile gradually stretched across his face.
"Heh…..Heh…..Ha….Ha….Hahaha….Hahahaha….HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" His grating laughter filled the dungeon, causing stones to crumble and dust to stir up. "YES, YOU REALLY ARE 'FATHER', AREN'T YOU?! YOUR CHILDREN FALL PROSTRATE BEFORE YOU, BEGGING FOR MERCY, AND YOU GRANT THEM THE EXACT OPPOSITE AND CLAIM IT IS LOVE—THAT IT IS YOUR WILL! YES! YES! HOW COULD I FORGET?!, O BLESSED 'MERCIFUL' FATHER WHO ART IN HEAVEN! AND YOU—YOU!" Alucard jostled the ring with a crack in his voice. "EVEN TO THE VERY END, YOU TREAT ME AS A FEEBLE THING! DID I ASK TO BE SAVED?! DID I ASK YOU TO FREE ME?! NO! ALL I WANTED WAS YOU! ALL I EVER WANTED WAS YOU! AND YOU EXPECT ME TO ACCEPT THIS?! TO CELEBRATE MY FREEDOM AND DANCE IN THE STREETS WHILE BEING CONTENT WITH ONLY MEMORIES OF YOU?! AHAHAHA! HOW CRUEL OF YOU!" Alucard curled his fingers around the ring, a quiver in his lips and tears burning his eyes. "Do you remember that train ride after our wedding, and how you asked me what I would do if you didn't choose the night? Well here it is! THIS IS HOW YOU CAN TRULY FREE ME, OLIVIA! KILL ME! KILL ME NOW!" The dam finally broke and Alucard fell to his knees, blindly gathering the petals up through tears of blood and water. "Please please please….you promised me…..I promised you…..I promised to protect you…..my Olivia…..you can't die….come back…..come back to me…..please!" His nails scraped against the stone, eventually breaking off and leaving bloody streaks in their wake. "I'm sorry…..I'm sorry…..don't leave me…come back…I let you die…..I'm sorry….come back…." Gingerly cradling the petals and ring to his chest, Alucard hunched over and let out a wail that was neither human nor monster. "DON'T LEAVE ME! COME BACK! COME BACK!"
"I….I don't know what to say." The papers crumpled in Acelie's grip, her frantic eyes trying to make sense of the data. But in truth it was all clear now, the reason why she, with all her medical knowledge, couldn't pinpoint the substance behind Arthur's poisoning—it was because until this very moment it didn't exist.
No records, no theories, nothing.
All she knew was it was lethal and she didn't know how to cure him.
Lowering the papers, Acelie took in Arthur glowering at her from across the table with the Council seated at his right and the Queen's entourage at his left.
"I can't help you, I'm sorry. And it is not just your heart that is damaged but your lungs and a majority of your endocrine glands. Therefore, it is up to Dr. Trevilian to help you cope with the symptoms and develop a treatment plan. But," Acelie glanced back down at the forms, re-reading his blood test results with heavy heart. "I think you should…no…you must start making preparations for the organization's future because….looking at your FSH levels….there is a chance you may not be able to father children."
If a pen dropped in that room, it would've sounded like an explosion and if a passerby peeked into the room, they would've swore they were in a wax museum.
But the illusion was quickly shattered and the room dissolved into utter chaos.
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU CAN'T CURE HIM?!"
"YOU ARE A SCHOLAR, AREN'T YOU?! FIGURE IT OUT!"
"THE HELLSING BLOODLINE ENDS HERE?!"
"THIS MUST BE WHAT SONG WANTED! IT WAS HER PLAN TO ELIMINATE HELLSING ENTIRELY!"
"OH FUCK OFF!" Manali almost leapt across the table if Elizabeth didn't have a firm grip on her. "THIS IS KARMA! THE WORLD IS BETTER OFF WITHOUT WICKED SCUM LIKE HIM!"
"HOW DARE YOU?! YOUR MAJESTY, WILL YOU ALLOW YOUR ADVISOR TO SPEAK LIKE THIS?! HELLSING HAS LOYALY SERVED THIS COUNTRY FOR YEARS AND YOU SAY NOT A WORD?!"
"DON'T YOU DARE LECTURE ME!" Elizabeth slammed her palms on the table, her calm, regal persona cracking. "HELLSING IS LOYAL?! SINCE I HAVE STEPPED FOOT IN THIS MANOR, I HAVE NOT SEEN A SHRED OF LOYALTY AT ALL!"
Acelie watched this madness unfold in silence, taking in the rage and hostility on everyone's faces before focusing on Arthur who was silent with his head in his hands.
Perhaps she should've been more sympathetic, but the past few hours had eliminated any respect she once had for Hellsing. Besides, she was far more concerned about Olivia and those two kids. After Alucard was restrained, Manali's daughter said she wasn't feeling well and the boy would help her to the bathroom. However that was half an hour ago, and Acelie suspected they actually went to find Olivia together.
'I have to sneak out of here and find all three of them. I am the only who can do anything at this point!' Securing her staff at her waist, Acelie slowly crept backwards towards the doors, hoping to slip out undetected, when the doors were thrown open behind her and all went silent as Walter entered the room with the two kids tossed over his shoulder.
"WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY DAUHTER?!" Manali tore across the room and ripped Pushpa off his shoulder, the lacerations on her baby's skin causing a wave of curses to pour from her lips. "YOU SON OF BITCH! WHAT DID YOU DO?!"
"She and this boy snuck out, so I brought them back." Walter answered plainly, dumping Anderson into Acelie's arms before marching towards Arthur. "I have returned, Sir Hellsing."
"So I see….Did you….?" Arthur started, searching for his butler's eyes for confirmation. "Is she…?"
"Your order has been fulfilled." Walter knelt down on one knee and pulled Sic Parvis Magna from his sleeve, extending it and offering up to him. "Olivia Emese Song is dead. I present you her bow—stained with her blood—as proof.
Once again, the room fell into stunned silence as Arthur took the bow and inspected it.
"So I see." Arthur nodded with a far-off expression, perceiving not a weapon in his hands but the corpse of an eight year old girl—an eight year old girl who foolishly sold her soul to him, an eight year old girl who trusted him time and time again, an eight year old girl who he sentenced to death because he was afraid of her. "Thank you for your service. Good work, Wal—."
*WHACK*
It was like a gunshot was fired, and all the room's occupants became wax figurines once more as Arthur crashed to the floor with a cry.
"…..I see you made true on your vow, Advisor Yadav." Arthur chuckled, pulling himself up on his elbows and wiping the blood from his lip. "You did say you would give me hell if—." His blood ran cold as he spotted Manali still by the doorway, sobbing alongside her now conscious daughter with Acelie and Anderson at their side.
But if it wasn't Manali who hit him, then who—?
"Not another word, Hellsing." Elizabeth loomed over him in disgust, her hand curled into a fist and a speckle of his blood on her ring. "Not. Another. Word."
"Your Majesty?" Island was the first of the Council to break their stunned silence, bending down to help his friend up.
"This meeting is adjourned." Elizabeth wiped her ring on her skirt, a sudden frost to her tone. "All of you 'noblemen', get the fuck out of here and you will not do, say, or even speak unless I order it. Is that understood?"
She was met with silence again.
"ANSWER ME, DAMN IT!"
"YES, YOUR MAJESTY!"
"THEN GET OUT!"
The Council members immediately vacated the room with their tails between their legs, leaving only the Queen's entourage, the children, Acelie, Walter, and Arthur in the room.
"You execute a woman you basically raised and keep her weapon as trophy? You disgust me." Elizabeth snatched Olivia's bow from Arthur's grasp before shoving him back into his seat. "Report to me bright and early tomorrow, Arthur Fairbrook Wingates Hellsing, and we shall 'discuss' Hellsing's fu—."
A feral growl vibrated throughout the room, rattling the walls on their foundation, and all eyes immediately fell on the shadow emerging from the floor in a mass of hair and tendrils.
"Al—Alucard?! How did you—?!" Arthur broke out into a cold sweat, extending his hand outwards. "I command you to—OOF!" A tendril rammed into his chest, sending him spiraling across the room.
"SIR HELLSING!" Walter darted forward to catch him, only for a tendril to ensnare around his ankle and fling him to the opposite wall.
"Your Majesty, wait!" Acelie stood guard in front of a petrified Manali and Pushpa while also restraining Anderson from drawing his bayonets. "Please don't—!"
Another growl quaked the room, this time sending pieces of the roof crumbling down.
His hair covered him from head and toe, and what little was visible of him were contorted limbs and flashes of pure crimson.
Alucard was no longer a man nor a monster, but a force of pure rage and desolation.
"Alu….card…." Arthur winced, bracing his side as blood gushed from the gash on his forehead. "I—!" He was gagged before he could utter another word, one tendril rammed down his throat while numerous others constricted around his limbs, each pulling into opposite directions.
"You bastard….!" Walter crawled to his feet, clutching the left side of his bleeding face. "I warned you didn't I?! This is all your fault! Olivia's blood is on your hands, not mi—!" He was promptly silenced as well, this time by Alucard himself who was clenching Walter's head between his hands.
Both men's' screams filled the room as Alucard applied pressure to Walter's eyes and the tendrils were on the verge of ripping Arthur to pieces.
For Olivia's murder, he intended to make sure death wouldn't come easy to them—no, by the time he was through with them, they would be begging for it. Then, when he had reduced them to nothing but stains on the wall, Alucard would target the Council and their families until—!
"VAMPIRE, WAIT!"
"ELIZABETH, WHAT ARE YOU—?!"
"MANALI, STAY BACK!" Alucard inclined his head back slightly and leered down to find Elizabeth kneeling before him. "Stay back….." Then she bent down with her palms and head on the ground. "I can't even fathom the rage and sorrow you are feeling, Vampire. I know you want vengeance for Olivia's death, and you will have your justice. But, I beg of you to allow me to sentence the guilty. These crimes occurred on my soil, so I will take responsibility. But, please, there has been enough bloodshed for today. I beg you, stand down." And with that, Elizabeth offered up Olivia's bow with tearful gaze. "I beg you…."
It was like a switch had been flipped, and Arthur and Walter's forms were released, the two men collapsing to the floor as they gasped for oxygen. His tendrils and hair retracted until he was fully visible, and from afar Anderson could only stare as the great Nosterafu cradled Olivia's bow to his chest, his soft heartbroken sobs filling the room.
"Olivia…" He kissed the bow between pitiful gasps. "Olivia…"
The monster was gone now, and what remained was a hollow husk without a heart that clinged to what remained of his world.
In the coming days, there was flurry of activity.
Elizabeth placed the Council and Hellsing on house arrest, allowing them only to do the equivalent of pencil pusher work. Any missions would be carried out by her soldiers, and all orders would be executed by her and her alone. This change in command truly didn't matter in the end though, considering more than half of Hellsing's force were dead and those who remained were charged with cleaning up and burying their remains.
Several more tests and check-ups were performed, and Dr. Trevilian confirmed Acelie's proposed diagnosis. With aggressive treatment, the progression could decelerate but the damage was already done. Whatever herb, drug, or substance was in his scotch had caused irreversible damage and Arthur would eventually succumb to organ failure. And finally, but much too late, Acelie was able to reveal what Olivia had witnessed with the deliveryman and Richard's bodyguard. However, when an investigation was opened, the deliveryman's corpse was found along with a suicide note detailing his hatred for Hellsing and how the poisoning was his act alone.
Olivia was innocent and due to lack of connecting evidence, so was Richard who played the part of a supporting brother while biting back a triumphant grin.
That half-breed pest was gone, and his brother was inches from death's door. All his obstacles were falling one by one, all he had left to do was wait and take what was rightfully his. Richard did wonder why that strange boy warned him to repress his thoughts while in Hellsing manor—something about a dog listening—but he did as ordered anyways.
As for Walter, he upheld his reputation as the cold, calculating Angel of Death, carrying on his duties as Arthur's right hand while sporting a bandage over his injured left eye. Some soldiers gossiped amongst themselves about how heartless he truly was to murder his partner and childhood friend without shedding a single tear, but they clammed up with one glare from the aforementioned man.
Anderson returned to Italy that same day, claiming he had no other reason to remain in a country of heathens and spat on Walter's shoes on his way out.
And as for Alucard, after receiving Olivia's bow, he vanished from sight.
It was believed he locked himself away in Olivia's room since no one could open it for three days. But, on the four day, the door was found open and no one was inside. The room was exactly as it was, save for the disappearance of Olivia's hairbrush and the presence of Alucard's gloves on the bedspread.
No one outside of Hellsing and Elizabeth was informed of his disappearance in the case for preventing panic, and all knowing eyes were constantly on alert for his presence or news of any vampire attacks.
Yet, all was silent and life carried on.
That still didn't stop Arthur from waiting for Alucard to come for him and finish the job though.
And when he did, Arthur knew he wouldn't put up a fight.
Whether it was by his own body or Alucard, his fate was sealed.
And he only had himself to blame.
"Come in." Elizabeth called out when a knock came from her office door, peering up from her desk when Manali rolled in. "I thought I told you to rest. It's almost midnight."
"The same could be said for you. Many a time have you made rash decisions because you were sleep deprived. But I have come to discuss an important matter with you." Manali placed an envelope on her desk, her wax seal binding the page together.
"What is this?" Elizabeth picked the paper up, awaiting an explanation before opening it.
"My resignation letter. It is in the country's best interest that I retire."
"And since when have you cared about this country's interests?"
"I physically cannot perform my duties any longer, nor do I have the will to do so." Manali's shoulders drooped and she deflated back into her wheelchair with a weary sigh. "I want nothing more to do with politics or being a witness to power hungry bastards devouring the weak. Pushpa will graduate this April and start her own life." She wheeled herself towards the window, watching her daughter enter the palace gardens. "When she does, I have no other reason to stay here."
Elizabeth fiddled with the letter, debating something within herself before grabbing something from her desk drawer and moving towards Manali.
"I understand. But, before I accept this, would you consider taking up another position?"
"What do you mean?"
"You must know after all these years I refuse to heed another's advice but yours. I will not deny your request to retire, instead I ask that you'll allow me to remain by your side." Kneeling before her, Elizabeth held up a ring box, opening it to reveal a silver band with sapphires lining it. "If you feel the same, that is."
"I…." Manali's eyes darted between the ring and Elizabeth. "I…..I don't….."
"I know your views on marriage, and I'm not asking you for white lace and wedding bells. Just…." Elizabeth took a deep breath, her hands quivering as she offered the ring forward again. "Please know my feelings and if you feel the same—even the tiniest amount—then I offer you this. I love you, Manali, and I want to be with you."
"…Even after all these years, you are still full of surprises." Manali gave an airy laugh, her features lighting up for the first time in what felt like ages. "Well, I suppose I can resign myself to a lifetime of bickering over breakfast with you."
Elizabeth beamed at that, feeling like she could fly as she slid the band onto Manali's finger.
"What of your heirs though?"
"If Pushpa wants—."
"No." Manali cut her off, her eyes and tone firm. "I refuse to subject her to that."
"Then," Elizabeth hummed, holding Manali's hands to her chest. "I suppose the monarchy has run its course."
"The bloodline dies with you?"
"The bloodline dies with me."
Manali laughed at that, her eyes crinkling with delight as she wiggled her hands out from Elizabeth's and gently cupped her face.
"That frank manner of speaking, how it endears me even now." She bent down and placed a chaste kiss on her lips. "I accept your proposal, Elizabeth."
And Elizabeth could only smile through her tears as she returned the kiss, spying a daffodil petal ghost by as her eyes fluttered shut.
It was her birthday.
Pushpa was nineteen years old today, yet she felt no joy.
In a matter of days, she had experienced a lifetime's worth of horrors, lost her house, nearly lost her mother, and witnessed the murder of the first person she'd ever admired.
Her mother tried to salvage the day, making her favorite breakfast and treats, but neither were in the mood to celebrate and instead held each other as grief engulfed them once more.
Taking a seat on a bench, Pushpa rolled up her sweater sleeves and traced the marks on her skin. The doctor said they would heal with minimal scarring, but Pushpa knew the pain would never fade away.
And she didn't want it to.
The sound of approaching footsteps roused her from her thoughts, and Pushpa gazed up, expecting to find one of the Queen's bodyguards, but instead found Alucard.
"You…" She slowly stood up, fear and confusion bubbling in her chest. "What are you doing here?"
His trademark coat and hat were missing as were his boots. His shirt was partially untucked and unbuttoned, revealing his skeletal-like frame beneath, and his face was gaunt and stained with dried tears. Once thick, black hair clung to his face in greasy strands, and his crimson eyes were almost gray and resembled ashes.
"Years ago," His voice was dry and grating like sandpaper as he slowed crept forward, his eyes glazed over. "I danced with a young woman in these very gardens. She had experienced her first betrayal of many by the same man as well as her first experience with war. We fought briefly before she laid bare her soul. She was so fragile yet so strong, and I found myself confessing my feelings for her." He paused, rubbing the bare skin of his hands. "I have been a slave since my birth. First to my father, then to the Sultan, then to my own madness, and then finally, to Hellsing. Different masters, different settings, yet they all told me that same thing. That I was nothing, that I will always be nothing. And I believed it, willingly kneeling before them because all I ever would be is a slave who death wouldn't even bless. But then, she came into my life." Alucard pulled Olivia's ring from inside her shirt, the ghost of a smile dancing on his thin lips. "Even from the beginning, that strong will burning in her wide green eyes enticed me. At first, it was just curiosity—what could this little girl do and how far could she go before she broke? And time and time again, she did break but she never shattered—she always got back up and kept fighting. She was the epitome of everything I wasn't; she was so full of love and warmth and she showered me with both without expectation. I used to mock her for that while also coveting every crumb she gave me. Soon, I found myself willingly drowning in her. The way she cried for me, raced to my side, protected me, I craved it so that I momentarily lost myself and bit her, rightfully incurring her wrath. Of course, I had been starved for the past year at the time so perhaps that was the reason for my actions, but that would be a lie. Because that moment, that was the beginning of the end. As I beheld her in that ballroom, wearing the wedding dress of another, I knew I was in love with her. I desired her, I wanted her, and it scared me. So much so that I couldn't bring myself to kiss her, instead using my fingers as a meager substitute until she kissed me of her own will. She knew of my past and experienced my demons first hand, but despite all of that, she loved me—she wanted me! I mattered, I was somebody, I wasn't a slave or a monster or a king. To her, I was just me and that was enough. I was enough…." Alucard suddenly fell to his knees, causing Pushpa to jump back. "And because she loved me, she is gone while I'm still here with only memories of her. I want to burn the world down, I want to slaughter everyone who took her from me, but…..what does it matter? Nothing I do will bring her back, and I'm tired. I just want to close my eyes and never wake up. Rage, hatred, vengeance, I no longer desire it. I desire nothing now." Alucard flopped his head to the side, staring at Pushpa blankly. "You loved her…..didn't you."
It wasn't phrased as a question but a statement, and Pushpa found herself blushing before nodding.
"….Yes." Pushpa fiddled with her sleeves. "I only knew her for a short time, but…..her courage and kindness captured my heart…..she was beautiful and the world is better for having known her."
"The world didn't deserve her, no one deserved her…..especially me." Alucard gave an empty laugh, caressing her ring between his fingers. "Hey, little girl, if I asked you to kill me, would you?"
"Wh—What?"
"I mean, Olivia risked everything to save you and your mother, so you must be someone quite extraordinary." He gave another laugh, tears running down his cheeks. "And the only extraordinary human I would allow to kill me is gone so…that leaves you. I don't deserve peace, I don't deserve anything. But, allow me to be selfish one last time. If there is a Heaven, I know Olivia is there. So we won't be reunited even in death but…." His tears splattered against the stone walkway as he hunched over, digging his nails into his arms. "But at least I won't have to be haunted by her memory anymore…..so here…" He pulled a wooden stake wrapped in a linen cloth out of his sleeve and offered it up to her. "Do with me as you will…I don't care…..just let me sleep….just let it end already…."
And as she watched the vampire king fall to pieces before her, Pushpa felt something she had never felt before.
Hatred.
The normally meek girl who constantly hid behind her mother's skirt grabbed the stake and flung it out of sight, meeting Alucard's inquisitive gaze with a furious one.
She wouldn't allow Hellsing to get away with this.
Some way, somehow she would avenge Olivia's death and bring peace to Alucard's soul.
"You may be tired of hatred and vengeance, but I'm not. I will bring you justice, both of you." Pushpa held her hand out, her gaze never wavering. "For, on this night of my nineteenth birthday, I vow to bring Hellsing to its knees."
A/N: Some happy parts in this chapter with a lot of pain. That is my brand, I'm sorry. This chapter was a lot longer, but I decided to split it so the next part will have more of how Olivia's death affects everyone as well as some time skip. We are approaching canon territory soon! But yes! Pushpa is out for blood and Elizabeth is her new mom! Lol!
And Alucard, authors put a part of themselves into their work and I've mentioned I originally started writing this because of what was happening in my life, so Alucard's pain is something I could identify with the loss of someone you love and the feeling of complete nothingness that an eternal slumber sounds better than living.
But light came into my life and light will come into Alucard's life.
Life is full of sorrow and pain, but we as humans find reasons to live on and triumph. Even if it is just to water the plants or watch a new episode, we live on.
And I just want to say, I am proud of all of you and I love you, from one person to another.
Anyways~I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Please leave a review! I love them all and you all so much! Stay safe and I will see you in the next chapter! :D