Author's Note: Welcome back, everyone! As this is my first story I welcome constructive criticisms, flaming and trolling will be ignored.

Disclaimer: Naruto and Inuyasha belong to their respective owners.

Dialogue Legend:

"Unforgivable" – Normal dialogue

'Unforgivable' – character's thoughts/speaking to Inner Demon

"Unforgivable" – Jutsu name

'Unforgivable' – Inner Demon speaking

Review Corner:

Serpensreality: Agreed, 100%. He cannot be bashed enough, some of the shit he pulled almost makes Orochimaru look like a saint.

God of Wind 200: Excellent questions! To be clear, by "base of operations" I only meant that Team 7 would be spending most of their free time training or relaxing at Naruto's mansion, not that they'd be living there 24/7. Naruto's teammates have their own homes and clan responsibilities. This chapter provides plenty of context explaining why Naruto trusts his new team so quickly.

Chapter 4 – Team 7 Assemble!

7:00 AM, Iruka's Classroom

Most of the students who had passed the Graduation Exam were present in Iruka's classroom. Naruto walked into the classroom and took his normal seat. Shikamaru Nara was about to berate Naruto for showing up when he didn't graduate, but he thought better of it when he noticed the blond boy's demeanor. Gone was the irredeemable klutz, and in its place stood a warrior.

"Good morning, Shikamaru-san, to answer the entire class' unspoken question: I most certainly did fail the Graduation Exam but was offered an alternative means to prove myself by Mizuki-sensei and succeeded. If the traitorous scum was still alive, I'm sure he'd agree I met all of his expectations and more."

"Bullshit! Mizuki-sensei's a Chunnin! You expect us to believe not only that he's a traitor but that you – dead last of our class – took him out?" Kiba Inuzuka voiced the incredulity shared by most in the class.

"I'd rather not repeat myself, Kiba-chan. What does your partner, Akamaru, think of my statement? Surely, as a ninja hound, he's been trained to detect lies." Naruto retorted.

Kiba looked at her partner and received an affirmative bark in response, Naruto was being truthful.

'Heh, the dobe finally decided to take the gloves off, did he? About damn time'. Sasuke Uchiha, top of his class and last of his clan, didn't doubt Naruto for a second. Everyone here was twelve years old and had entered the Academy when they were five years old. Seven years is a long time to learn about someone if you have the desire, and Sasuke was intrigued by Naruto's circumstances from nearly the first day they met.

Like him, the boy was an orphan, but no one seemed to know who his parents were. This, by itself, wasn't unusual; the Kyuubi no Kitsune's attack twelve years ago and the subsequent "skirmishes" with the Kumo and the Iwa had left many orphans in their wake and devastated Konoha's infrastructure. It was very plausible that Naruto's parents had died, and all records pertaining to his birth and lineage had been lost.

What puzzled not only Sasuke but many other students in the class – though most would never admit it – was that Naruto was despised by nearly every adult he encountered. It made no sense! Naruto wasn't the Kyuubi and an infant certainly couldn't be responsible for Iwa's and Kumo's invasion.

Naruto had always laughed off his terrible treatment, seemingly lashing against his fate with jokes and pranks. Sasuke never bought it; he didn't know the reason behind Naruto's circumstances but, as someone devastated by the loss of his entire clan, he knew a false front when he saw one. Naruto hid his true self well, very well, but the last Uchiha caught every instant the mask slipped in his presence.

It mostly came out in their daily Taijutsu spars. Typically, Naruto pretended to be terrible at hand-to-hand combat but, when he felt like winning a match, he was a terror. His forms seemed impractical, but they concealed a brutal efficiency that never failed to secure his victory when utilized.

Sasuke was a proud young man, perhaps too confident in his abilities, but his losses to Naruto never angered him. On the contrary, the avant-garde nature of his true fighting style served as inspiration for Sasuke to refine his own techniques, and he relished every moment he fought the real Naruto Uzumaki. Sadly, these moments were few and far between; the "dobe" was careful to win sparingly to ensure his achievements could only be attributed to blind luck.

Furthermore, he had never seen Naruto drop his mask while sparring against anyone else in their class. It was often said that true Shinobi could discern each other's intent entirely by exchanging blows, and Sasuke knew this to be true. Naruto unveiled himself before Sasuke out of empathy and mutual understanding; he did not pity Sasuke's circumstances, but offered support the only way he could without overplaying his hand. For that, Sasuke would always be grateful to Naruto.

Sasuke's musings were interrupted by the simultaneous arrival of Sakura Haruno and Ino Yamanaka, their meaningless argument dying mid-breath as they saw the class clown; a stern look from Shikamaru silenced Ino's protest before it could begin, but Sakura's fury was not so easily calmed.

"NARUTO! How DARE you wear that headband when you failed the Graduation Exam? You have no right to – "

Sakura's wrath swiftly transmuted to agony as Naruto leaped from his seat, grabbed her right wrist in a vice-like grip and slammed her against the chalkboard at the front of the classroom.

"Make no mistake, girl; I have more than earned my place here today. That you may be my teammate in the very near future is the only reason I don't shatter your arm now. I acknowledge that my frequent attempts to court you have been a source of irritation, especially since you prefer Sasuke, but if you ever raise your voice to me unprovoked again, I shall tear out your vocal cords and feed them to the nearest animal. Do we have an understanding?" Naruto growled.

Too shocked to speak and on the verge of tears, Sakura could only meekly nod and flee to the corner of the room farthest away from Naruto's normal seat.

Naruto turned to address the class "We are all Shinobi now. There will never be a better opportunity for me to say this than today: The Naruto Uzumaki who you've spent seven years ridiculing was a façade meant to lessen Konoha's hatred of me. Last night I had the privilege of learning exactly why all your parents told you to interact with me as little as possible and to treat me with utmost distrust and derision.

The reason is an S-rank secret, and the penalty for revealing it without Hokage-sama's express consent is death for both the one who disclosed the secret and the recipient. There are only two people in this room who dared to defy the social norm set by the adults of this village; they, alone, have my undying respect.

In my eyes, the rest of you are no different from every shopkeeper who refused to sell to me, my landlord who charged absurd rental rates, and the restaurant owners who served me undercooked food and poisoned drinks. If you want my opinion to change, you must earn my respect. It won't be easy; seven years is no small span of time, but I will accept as a friend any who genuinely strives to correct their behavior. Those of you who don't should be grateful we don't live in Kiri; over there, Academy students must kill each other to earn their Graduation."

"Naruto-kun, that's enough!" Iruka's interruption as he entered the room was more plea than command, as he could not blame the Jinchuriki for expressing his rage.

"Huh, a speech like that isn't half bad as far as intimidation attempts go. Kid's got the knack for being a decent interrogator if front-line duty doesn't work out for him." Ibiki commented as he followed Iruka into the classroom.

"Are you blind, Ibiki-san? They were all damn-near wetting themselves when Naruto-kun had Sakura-chan against the wall; the speech was just the final nail in the coffin for most of them!" Anko cheered as she entered the classroom behind her peers.

"Y-yes, well," Iruka coughed. "I was going to start by saying that Naruto rightfully graduated in his own way, but that's no longer needed."

"Iruka-sensei, what Naruto just said, what he just did, there has to be repercussions for all that, right? He can't just be allowed to nearly break Sakura's arm and treat us all like garbage for no reason!" In her shock, Ino's hatred for her rival was momentarily forgotten.

"That's actually what we're here for, young lady." Anko addressed the Yamanaka heiress. "Due to recent developments, Hokage-sama suspects that Naruto-kun hasn't gotten a fair shake here at Konoha's Academy, so Ibiki-san and I will be interviewing all of you immediately after Iruka-san finishes establishing your teams. I'm sure all of you are dying to get with your new Jonin instructors and embark on your first missions, but this is of the utmost importance; you're new Sensei have all been informed of the delay."

"On that note," Iruka began, "the nine of you here shall be assigned to the following teams: Team 10, under Jonin Asuma Sarutobi, will consist of Ino Yamanaka, Shikamaru Nara, and Choji Akimichi."

'No surprise there, students from those three clans have been teamed up as far back as I could research.' Makes me wonder if their clan's supernatural ancestors were related, or if they were originally one clan that had to split up and specialize in different skills for some reason.' Naruto mused.

"Team 7, under Jonin Kakashi Hatake – " Iruka proceeded.

Naruto's internal musings ceased as his Sensei's next words held nearly as much weight to him as his father's message.

" – shall consist of Naruto Uzumaki, Sasuke Uchiha, and Hinata Hyuuga."

"Hell, YES!" Naruto felt like he'd just won the lottery. Kakashi-sensei was a given after last night, but these two were his dream team. Between Sasuke's future Sharingan and ambition, Hinata's Byakugan and devotion, and his demonic lineage nothing would be able to stop them!

"Well, dobe, looks like I'll have ample opportunity to work all the kinks out of that ridiculous fighting style of yours." Sasuke's eyes gleamed with delight.

"Sure thing, teme, and, who knows? Maybe I'll teach you a few things as well." Naruto responded eagerly.

"I'll just bet." Sasuke agreed.

If Naruto's earlier actions hadn't provoked a fight-or-flight response from every Genin in the room, Hinata would have fainted from delight upon learning she was on the same team as her crush. As it was, the relief from learning she'd be on Naruto's team eased much of the stress the boy's actions had caused her. She refused to believe that the Naruto she'd stalked these past seven years existed only to deceive everyone; after all, you couldn't be that good at faking something if you didn't truly understand and believe in it.

"Team 8, under Jonin Kurenai Yuuhi, will consist of Shino Aburame, Kiba Inuzuka, and Sakura Haruno." Iruka finished

'Well someone had to get stuck with Sakura. I'm stoked it's not me, but I wouldn't wish her on anyone here.' Naruto suppressed a grimace. 'As far as I can tell, the bitch only applied for Ninja courses to chase after Sasuke. The only thing she's got going for her is near-flawless Chakra control, and that's not worth a damn when she doesn't have any good Jutsu to put it towards.

Plus, I'm sure she won't be live down being without her precious Sasuke-kun anytime soon. Hopefully, Kurenai-san can whip her into shape before Team 8 embarks on any risky missions. Luckily, her new teammates won't take any of her shit. Kiba-chan doesn't accept criticism from anyone who can't put their fists where their mouth is, and Shino-kun's stoicism puts Sasuke's brooding to shame.'

"Annnnd now that your teams are established let's get these interviews out of the way! We've got quite a few questions for all of you, and the sooner we're done, the sooner you can be on the way to becoming real Shinobi!" Anko said with glee.

"Everyone except Naruto, leave the room now. You will wait outside until you are called. Iruka-san: anyone who attempts to flee or eavesdrop, or expresses discontent with these proceedings, is to be stripped of their Genin rank immediately." Ibiki ordered.

"You can't just – "

A kunai thrown by Anko halted Choji's protest. "We can, and we will. Hokage-sama takes this matter very seriously, and none of you have the right to oppose this investigation in any way. Strictly speaking, Choji's outburst just now was enough to remove his headband but, since the interviews haven't officially started yet, I'll ignore it in the spirit of fair play. That's your first and final warning. Now, GET OUT!"

Choji cupped a hand to his bleeding cheek and left the room with the other seven new Genin trailing behind him. Hinata caught up and offered him some healing ointment, which he gratefully accepted.

It was nearly six hours later when the nine interviews were completed. Naruto's was a simple affair, as he only had to list his grievances and accusations for the record along with as much context as he could remember. The Genin who had minimal interactions with Naruto – Choji, Ino, and Shino – also had relatively quick interviews since they had comparatively little to comment on.

Sasuke and Hinata's interviews were the longest due to the former's well known "rivalry" with Naruto and the latter's habit of stalking him. Shikamaru's analysis and speculations concerning the past seven years' many incidents were invaluable, and Kiba recalled several instances where Akamaru alerted her to an instructor's deceitful activity involving Naruto's education.

A black cornucopia of names, dates and places was filled to nearly bursting between the interviewees. Sakura, ironically, was among Naruto's best character witnesses. As much as his flirting annoyed her, she was quite cognizant of the harmless and attention-seeking nature of the boy's pranks. Furthermore, her obsession with Sasuke made her suspicious of Naruto's "miraculous" wins against the Uchiha prodigy, lending credence to the supposition that Naruto could have done far worse if he'd truly been pushed over the edge.

Konoha Academy - Conference Room

"By the Log and the Sage, how did it come anywhere close to this?!" Anko shrieked. "Every day that poor boy breathes, he spares us from the Kyuubi's wrath. This village should be worshipping every inch of ground he walks on. Instead, we have a litany of dates of Naruto being all but forced to dumpster dive for a meal, retired Shinobi-turned-shopkeepers hurling weapons at him if he ventured anywhere near their stores, and these teachers!

If even a fifth of what's in these statements is true, then it's a miracle Naruto-kun didn't snap ages ago! The most dangerous bomb in Konoha's history and nearly everyone doused him in oil and all but lit the fuse!"

"We have failed Naruto, each and every one of us." Ibiki replied. "The civilians in their senseless hate, the instructors in their blatant bias, the elite Shinobi in refusing to give aid to a child in desperate need of it, his fellow students in acting like sheep instead of wolves, and – above everyone – Hokage-sama for allowing it all to happen. He – we – should have treated Naruto like the son of a Hokage is always was, damn Minato-sama's enemies and Danzo's machinations! Before today, never would I have dreamed that I could be ashamed of the village I swore to protect, but Konoha is no longer the utopia Hashirama-sama envisioned. Perhaps, it never was."

"I'm going to write up an interim report summarizing the Genin's statements. While I'm doing that, would you mind interrogating the instructors? If I'm in the same room as any of them right now, things will get very bloody." Anko declared.

"That's fine, as an interrogation specialist I can deal with results like this with somewhat more grace than you, Anko-san."

"The one good thing we learned in all this is that Naruto-kun is incredibly strong-willed. What he's experienced would break most children his age several times over. If our final report corroborates the interim report, I swear heads are going to roll!" Anko resisted the urge to punch the nearest wall.

"Regarding that, you might want to request an Anbu regiment to be on standby. If this goes as we both suspect, then you'll be rather busy tonight." Ibiki said coyly.

"What do you mean?" Anko asked.

"Didn't Hokage-sama tell you?" Ibiki replied with a shit-eating grin. "Naruto-kun requested the right hand of everyone in the Academy who wronged him, and said request was tentatively approved pending the results of our investigation. While Naruto's alleged 'true prowess' per some of his peers leaves little doubt that he could perform the deed to satisfaction on his own, surely he would not object to the presence and advice of Konoha's best torturer?"

The smile Anko gave in response was sufficiently angelic to rouse envy in Lady Venus herself.

Konoha Academy - Rooftop

"Now then, those interviews ate up quite a bit of time, so I won't keep you three long. For today, I'd like to start with introductions. Tell me your name, likes and dislikes, hobbies, and dreams for the future." Kakashi looked at his three new students.

"When seeking an introduction, is not proper to introduce oneself first, Kakashi-sensei?" Naruto countered.

"Well, you got me there, Naruto-kun. My name is Kakashi Hatake. I'd rather not mention my likes and dislikes now; you'll get to know them soon enough, if you're lucky. I have several hobbies, far too many to list now. My dreams for the future are to protect those closest to me to the best of my ability. Naruto-kun, you're next."

"Officially, my name is Naruto Uzumaki but, given recent events, I much prefer my father's surname. I can't tell you what that is now, but I hope to be able to in the near future. I may have had likes when I was much younger, but being Konoha's favorite punching bag has dulled my enthusiasm for most. However, Ichiraku Ramen makes amazing food, and Sasuke isn't terrible company. My dislikes are every single soul in this village who hates me just for existing. My 'hobbies' are more survival necessities than anything: training, researching, exercising, etc. My goal for the future is to resurrect my clan and destroy anything that gets in my way! Sasuke, your turn."

"My name is Sasuke Uchiha. There are lots of things I dislike and, aside from Naruto's preposterous fighting style, I don't really like anything. I have no hobbies, either. I can't really call it a dream, but I do have an ambition: to resurrect my clan, much like Naruto, and to kill a certain man. Hinata-hime, it's your turn."

"My name is Hinata Hyuuga; the thing – or rather the person – I like is . . ." Hinata failed to finish her sentence, as Naruto's questioning stare made her nervous enough to nearly faint.

"A-anyways, my hobbies are gardening and . . ." Again Hinata had to suppress the urge to pass out. Steeling herself for the final category, she threw as much caution as she dared into the proverbial wind."

"My dream for the future is to marry the man I love!" Hinata blurted before half-fainting from mental fatigue.

Naruto's face became an unreadable mask, and Sasuke exhaled a mixed sigh of relief and pity.

'Guess I'm not the only one with fangirl problems,' the last Uchiha pondered, 'though Naruto only has one while I have too many to count. Thank the Sage most of them weren't in my class; Ino and Sakura are headache-inducing enough.'

"Very good, you three, tomorrow we'll begin your true Graduation Exam." Kakashi's words brought Naruto and Sasuke out of their respective reveries and forced Hinata to come to her senses.

"What? You mean we're not actually Genin yet?" The Hyuuga heiress asked.

"Correct, Hinata-chan." Kakashi leveled his good eye directly at Hinata. "The purpose of the Graduation Exam you took within the Academy is to filter out those who have absolutely no chance of becoming Genin. The true test has a sixty-seven percent failure rate. Those who fail are either sent back to the Academy or dropped from Konoha's Shinobi program entirely, depending on how pitiful their performance is.

Tomorrow morning, at 8:00 sharp, all of you will report to Training Field 7. You may bring as many ninja tools as you can comfortably carry, but do not eat breakfast; you'll be throwing it up. That is all for today; you three are dismissed."

With that Kakashi Shunshined (Body Flicker Technique) away, leaving the three prospective Genin alone on the Academy roof.

"Well dobe, I think I'll get in some Jutsu practice for tomorrow." Sasuke said, already walking away.

Naruto was about to do the same after saying a cordial farewell to Hinata but stopped dead in his tracks. The Hyuuga heiress' face was flooded with tears.

"Naruto-kun, please forgive me! I knew everything you were going through but was too afraid to do anything about it! I know nothing I do or say can ever make up for what's happened to you, but – "

Naruto closed the short distance between them and wrapped his arms around Hinata in a loving embrace.

"Hinata, you have nothing to apologize for. Even if you did, I was wrong to explode on everyone earlier. None of them directly harmed me, and some of them even tried to help at times. I'll need to apologize to all of them when I get the chance."

"Nothing wrong? Nothing WRONG?! I've, I'VE – "

"Stalked me for seven years, ever since I beat the shit out of those three brats bullying you because of your beautiful eyes, yes I know. From that day, you've been following me everywhere, anytime you had the chance. At first, I thought it was because you wanted to beat me up like all my other stalkers, but it didn't take me long to realize your intentions were much purer than that, if a little perverted."

Hinata's face was flushing pink. 'Beautiful eyes? No, no not the point!'

"Yes, I've followed you everywhere because I like you; I noticed all the horrible things being done to you, tried to help, begged my father to get adults involved, but nothing worked! I'm a terrible person! I should have fought harder for you!" Hinata yelled.

"The journey is what matters, not the destination." Naruto quoted. "More than almost anyone else, you – and your father – had ample reason not to get anyone else involved. With the Uchiha clan all but destroyed, the Hyuuga are the most influential clan in Konoha. Only the Sarutobi clan can rival them politically, and that's solely due to Hiruzen being the Sandaime.

If word ever got out that Hiashi-sama's daughter was associating with me, the masses and most of the Hyuuga elders would turn against you in a heartbeat, but you never cared about that and always kept helping me in the most subtle ways you could think of. After a couple years, I discovered the true source of the gifts I thought had come from Hiruzen. Teuchi couldn't always afford to give me free meals, and the few store owners willing to sell to me at all always demanded payment upfront.

Money, snacks, non-perishable meals and clean water, new clothes as I got older – almost all of it came from you. You saved me, Hinata. Your support all these years prevented me from becoming my neighbors, stopped me from transforming into what I despise. Without you, I'd either be dead in a ditch somewhere or rotting in a prison cell by now. It is my greatest honor and pleasure to call you my friend, and it is my highest privilege to return your affections."

Having said his piece, Naruto kissed Hinata lightly on the cheek then drew his head back slightly, awaiting Hinata's answer. The girl's face resembled a tomato; she'd dreamed of this moment for so long, but it was all too sudden! She'd thought she'd have to work at a relationship with Naruto, get to know him even more and share some of her own history before things got to this point.

"Damn, this is awkward; such a romantic atmosphere makes it hard to interrupt." A woman's voice cut through the tense atmosphere.

Hinata shrieked in surprise, not having realized Anko had joined them. Conversely, Naruto gave the torturer a knowing smile and received, in answer, a cheerful wink.

"Naruto-kun, Ibiki-san and I have concluded our investigation regarding your claims of neglect and abuse at the hands of your Academy instructors. While no written records exist to corroborate your accusations, those named by yourself and your peers were all interrogated by Ibiki-san. None of the sacks of shit lasted more than five minutes with him before singing like canaries. They've all signed written statements swearing to the truth of their confessions, under pain of death.

Given the severity of this case and the amount of people involved, Hokage-sama decided that a trial would take far too long and declared all the accused guilty, citing 'overwhelming circumstantial evidence obtained from numerous independent sources that corroborated each other with no conflicts of interest.' Furthermore, your peers provided the names of several shopkeepers and restaurant owners throughout Konoha who have abused and – in some cases – attempted to murder you.

These individuals have also been interrogated, with the same result as your teachers. Per your request to Hokage-sama, all guilty parties have been taken to a place he called 'Point X5'. He said you knew this location, and requested that I accompany you to ensure the punishment you demanded is properly administered."

Anko's eyes flashed with pleasure as she spoke the last sentence.

Naruto felt lighter than he had in a long time, the pending retribution making him almost giddy.

"Hinata, I need to go and see justice served. I'd ask you to come along, but this is something that needs to be done with as few witnesses as possible. I trust you, and I want to trust your father, but there are too many unknowns regarding your clan if they somehow caught wind of what's about to happen."

"Understood, I'll see you tomorrow morning." Hinata walked slowly but confidently towards the stairs leading down into the Academy, having had one of the best experiences of her young life.

Naruto turned to Anko and pulled from his pocket a familiar disk.

"This is a key to where we'll be going, among other places. We have to go through my new home to get there. To that end, let's stick to the rooftops; my home is near the Hyuuga compound, and I'd rather not run into Hinata on the way there." Naruto leaped towards the nearest building in the direction of his mansion.

"The Hyuuga compound is near your new place?" Anko mused as she followed Naruto. "But almost all the buildings in that section of Konoha are claimed by the Hyuuga and their allies. The only place currently vacant is – no, no way – you're his son?!" Anko nearly fell in shock.

"Indeed, my full name is Naruto Namikaze Uzumaki. Hiruzen, Kakashi-sensei, and I discussed that at length last night. Therefore, you don't need to contemplate murdering our Hokage in his sleep." Naruto assured the master torturer.

Naruto quickened his pace to be slightly above the average Chunnin's level of speed, precluding further conversation as he and Anko raced to the Namikaze mansion. Once inside, Naruto went to the rear entrance, configured the seal array on the doorframe to point X5 and grabbed Anko's wrist.

"The transition is somewhat jarring." Naruto warned.

"What do you AAAAHH!"

Naruto dragged Anko across the threshold, and they were warped to a clearing deep within one of Konoha's many forests. Sudden teleportation would unnerve almost anyone; if not for Naruto's precautionary grip, Anko would have fallen on her ass. She looked around and found Konoha's newest batch of prisoners chained to metal posts deeply embedded in the ground, arranged in a near-perfect circle. They were also gagged, and thus could only grunt and moan in protest to their current state.

"Clever, Hiruzen must have a different key linked to another warp seal that leads here. He certainly didn't give everyone responsible for rounding these fuckers up a key to my castle." Naruto praised his grandfather figure.

"But why here? Sure, cutting off everyone's right hand can't be done just anywhere, but why do it so far outside the village?" Anko asked.

"To prevent prying eyes from learning about it until it's too late and ensure the 'don't fuck with me anymore' point is driven home as deeply as possible." Naruto smirked as he walked towards the circle. As Anko followed, her eyes widened; the prisoners were staked around a pit in the ground, and the bottom of the pit held a body of water of indeterminable depth. The water's surface was swarming with hundreds of piranhas.

'This isn't a torture chamber, it's an execution ground!' Anko realized with amazement.

"Fellow citizens of Konoha, thank you for accepting my invitation to one of my clan's private facilities! You all know why you're here and if Hiruzen thought I wanted to hear your excuses, fruitless attempts to beg for your miserable lives, or scornful vitriol then he wouldn't have had you all gagged!" Naruto greeted the prisoners with a ringmaster's fanfare.

"As you may have noticed, this place is very far removed from Konoha proper; anyone who's anyone that might have been able to demand your release won't even know where you are until well after we're done here. To the esteemed Academy instructors gathered here who saw fit to raise their hands to me when I failed their rigged tests: you don't need to worry about the inhabitants of the pit. I told Hiruzen that all I wanted was your right hands and I keep my word, unlike all of you!"

The prisoners, bound and gagged as they were, could do little more than glare at Naruto but took some relief in knowing none of them would die tonight.

"However, I made no such promise regarding the shopkeepers, cooks, and restaurant owners here assembled! You've done much worse than beat the shit out of me over the years and, for your transgressions, you've earned the honor of ensuring that the lovely fish in the pit will be alive for the next several years!" Naruto jeered.

Nearly half of the prisoners started squirming as much as their restraints would allow. Naruto ignored the group he'd just sentenced to death and moved towards the first instructor who would lose his hand tonight.

"Naruto, let me show you how to do this as quickly as possible while inflicting maximum pain!" Anko's heart was in her eyes. Being a master torturer necessitated a sadistic personality, and Naruto's death sentence lit a fire in her like nothing she'd felt in years.

With his death, Naruto was head of the Namikaze, and these were his lands. Per Konoha law, the only things that could supersede a Clan Head's authority in their own territory were a direct order from the Hokage or a council edict agreed upon by a two-thirds vote. Hiruzen-sama wasn't here, and no council vote could be held without his presence or prior consent. In other words, these prisoners were completely and utterly FUCKED!

Under Anko's instruction, Naruto quickly went to work severing hands. There were abundant sets of bandages to ensure the prisoners didn't die of blood loss, but the anesthetics and disinfectants that would normally accompany such procedures were nowhere to be found. The prisoners vocalized their torment as much as their gags would permit. Once the last of the instructors had received Naruto's justice, the Namikaze lord unceremoniously unlocked a shopkeeper's restraints with the Master Key and rapidly kicked him into the pit.

"Anko-san, please stand behind each prisoner as I release them. If they try to fight or run cripple them as painfully as possible before handing them to me." Naruto requested.

"Keep making a girl this happy, and she might just take you home," Anko smirked.

"You have that backwards; remember, we have to go back through my house to get to Konoha." Naruto countered.

"Wa-wait, surely you're not – "

"Of course, I'm just kidding!" The Namikaze lord clarified.

The flush on Anko's cheeks was now derived as much from indignation as the pain and death before her, and nearly she forgot that she was meant to prevent the prisoner's escape attempts. Mastering herself, the torturer fulfilled her duty as Naruto sent prisoner after prisoner to their watery grave.

"Now then, all of my non-academy tormentors have received their just reward. The rest of you are currently experiencing varying degrees of infection and shock due to pain as a result of your punishments. I'm going to release all of you now. Konoha is several miles due east of here." Naruto pointed in the cardinal direction.

"Sadly, I don't know where the warp seal Hiruzen used to get you all here is located, and I'm sure as hell not dragging all of you human-shaped garbage sacks through my castle to get back home. Therefore, you'll have to walk back to the village. On the plus side, those fresh wounds are bound to attract all sorts of predators looking for an easy meal, so you're all much more likely to die from them than from infection or starvation. If any of you do manage to make it back, I'm sure Hiruzen has a fitting reception planned. Farewell, backstabbing motherfuckers! I hope none of you see the light of day ever again!"

Naruto created 100 Kage Bushin to free all the surviving prisoners. Most of them were in so much pain they could barely stand, let alone move. The few exceptions desperately began stumbling towards Konoha. Naruto paid them no mind as he grabbed Anko's hand again and channeled some Chakra into the master key, causing it to immediately synchronize with the mansion's warp seal and teleport them there.

As soon as they had fully materialized inside the mansion, Anko shoved Naruto against the nearest wall and placed a kunai to his throat.

"Naruto-kun, has anyone ever told you that it's not nice to toy with a lady's emotions?" The purple-haired kunoichi asked in a sick-sweet voice that, for most men, would simultaneously evoke arousal and terror.

Naruto was not like most men. "I'm afraid not; no parents and the shittiest teaching environment imaginable, remember?"

Anko was about to retort with one of the three-dozen comebacks she had thought of between Naruto's earlier remark and his most current response, but her words failed her as she looked into the young man's azure orbs.

While not quite as well-versed in the art of reading facial expressions as Ibiki, her expertise in torture had taught her one thing above all else: the eyes are windows to the soul. With enough training, one's emotional state could be read entirely by looking at their eyes, and, in Naruto's eyes, Anko saw only hope and eagerness.

"I'd like to think that we are kindred spirits." Naruto began. "Like me, you're an orphan and the few times I've seen you around Konoha, I noticed how the civilians treat you. It's not as bad as what they've done to me, but a lot of them view you as something unclean that could taint them at any moment – like a rabid dog or a venomous snake. I have no idea what happened to you earlier in your life that would provoke such a reaction, but I know Sasuke still has nightmares about what happened to his clan. I'm guessing you might have them, too.

Before Iruka-sensei made life much easier for me, I had nightmares about villagers storming my apartment to kill me or dying at the hands of one of the shopkeepers or restaurant owners we just killed. It's not something you can talk about to just anyone, no matter how much you want to get it off your chest, is it? For a conversation like that to be worthwhile, you need to have it with someone who's gone through the same shit. You're a Tokubetsu Jonin, and I just became a Genin - sort of. Whenever you're duties permit, I'd like to have that kind of conversation with you. I think we both need a friend that gets it."

A friend. Naruto had no idea just how close to home his request was. She did have nightmares, often, and none of her peers understood what she had gone through enough to offer more than a shoulder to cry on.

"Friends, huh? Anko mused. "I like the sound of that! I've learned a lot about you during your investigation but hearing it from your own mouth would likely be cathartic both you and me. Well, I won't keep you from your beauty sleep any longer. You're taking the true Graduation exam tomorrow morning, right? Be extremely careful, Kakashi-san has never passed a team of prospective Genin."

"Maybe, but he's never tested a Genin like me!" Naruto boasted.

"Confident, aren't we? Well, best of luck tomorrow, my friend." Anko excused herself and left the mansion while Naruto created 50 Kage Bushin, gave them a series of instructions involving the Namikaze clan vault, and went to sleep.

Chapter End

So, who feels like pissing this version of Naruto off? Anyone? No? Great! Given that Naruto's dealt with the village's bullshit from a very young age and was 12 at the time he graduated (both here and in canon), this was at least 7 years of payback. Pardon the cliche, but revenge is a dish best served cold and this was freezing.

And the first member of Naruto's harem has been revealed! Hinata was a given, always hoped they'd get together back when the series was still coming out and we didn't know who'd end up with who. I'll say now that every member of Naruto's harem has a practical/narrative reason for being involved with him beyond the romantic subplots. They're going to be training him in a wide variety of techniques.

As you can no doubt imagine, Sasuke being secret BFFs with Naruto will have a massive ripple effect that derails whole arcs of the canon story. Just as Naruto is not the reincarnation of Asura, Sasuke is not the reincarnation of Indra; can't exactly have the whole "cycle of hatred" thing if they're true friends from the start. How Sasuke's relationship with Naruto changes the story is one of the things I look forward to writing the most as time goes on.

Thank you for reading!