Lara Jean's pov

The ski trip was over and I knew whatever I had with Peter was special. Fake dating him had become so natural, normal and easy that sometimes I let myself pretend it wasn't fake. Last night in the hot tub, per example. The real and fake lines were a little blurry. Had they been blurry to him too? Now wasn't the time to discuss it anyway. On the bus with all our classmates on the bus ride back to school so we could go back home... no, thank you. As Peter and I got in our seats, me sitting next to him this time, people started clapping and cheering as we came inside the vehicle. Confused, I whispered to Peter

"You didn't... tell anyone about last night, did you?"

Even though nothing rated R happened, it could still look that way or sound that way depending on how it was seen or worded. In a voice that could only be explained as a mix of sleepy and husky, he shook his head

"No. That's just how people act with couples on the ski trip."

I was relieved. He then turned to me, pleading puppy eyes adorning his features

"Hey, I'm tired. Can I use you as a pillow?"

I nodded, and the smile he had on his face as he got into his desired position was almost too cute to handle. And I would be lying if I said I did not enjoy the scowl on Gen's face a tiny bit when she realized I was sitting next to Peter, meaning she could not. She huffed and took a seat in the back.

A few hours later, we had finally arrived at the school parking lot, and we were getting our luggage from the bus. I was waiting for mine while Peter went to get his car to drive us home. A few seconds later, who should appear right in front of me with a sugary, fake smile plastered on her face but Gen herself. She addressed me

" So, Lara Jean. I think it was so cool that you came on the ski trip, I hope you had fun."

You could feel the falseness in her tone, it was palpable. My smile had just the same amount of faux politeness

"Wow, Gen. Thanks, I did."

She went on

"And you know, you're so trusting. I remember that about you from middle school."

Confused, I asked

"What are you talking about?"

She answered me

"About Peter spending the night in my room last night. Most girls would freak if their boyfriends slept in someone else's room, let alone an ex girlfriend, even IF sleeping is all that happened. But not you."

My mind was spinning, and I was losing focus. But then something caught my eye as she complained about her hair getting greasy from being on a bus. The scrunchie she used to put it up. That was mine. In fact, it was my favorite scrunchie Peter took when he told me he liked my hair down the night of Greg's party when we first started fake dating.

"Where did you get that?"

She smiled

"Oh this? Peter gave it to me. I like the colors in it."

With that, she was off, and Peter appeared before me, completely clueless to what had just gone down. I did not let him live in blissful ignorance long, quickly asking

"Did you go to Gen's room last night? And you gave her my favorite scrunchie? Am I just a joke to you, Peter?"

FLASHBACK

Peter's pov

Early on in our fake relationship, I had told Lara Jean that I thought her hair was prettier let loose, instead of tied by a scrunchie. To prove it, I took her hair down and snapped a picture, securing her scrunchie around my wrist, and setting the picture as my lock screen, taking a picture of me for her to do the same.

As the party went on full swing, I realized at one point that I needed to go to the bathroom, scrunchie still on my wrist. I never thought any harm of it until I heard a knock while I was washing my hands and the door swung open. I tried to deter whoever it was

"Hey! Occupied!"

That didn't stop Gen, who I could now see, and she was mad. Not in the blow-up kind of way, but the tight-smile, "I'm going to kill you" way. She crossed her arms

"Lara Jean Covey, really?"

I washed my hands without stopping, only to throw back at her

"What do you care?"

Rather than answer, she saw the scrunchie on my wrist and began playing with it

"Aww! How cute! This hers?"

I nodded, trying in vain to stop her from yanking it from my arm. She tied her hair without a care in the mirror, then turned to me

"How do I look?"

I sighed

"Good, Gen. You always look good. Now give it back."

She pursed her lips then smirked. Finally reaching a neutral face, she replied

"No... I think I'm gonna hold onto this for a while, 'k?"

Before I could say a word, she was gone.

Back to present - LJ's pov

I heard him say "yeah" about going to Gen's room even before I asked him about the scrunchie. He tried to answer, but I cut him off again, asking if I was just a joke to him. THIS time, he spoke

" No! No, no, no. You're not just a joke to me. You just don't understand the situation-"

He tried to say more, but I cut him off

"I understand completely. And this, us, is over in every possible way."

He quickly tried to keep me in place, so he could talk

"Hey, Lara Jean, can we just talk about this? Let me drive you home, I will explain everything to you"

My voice firm yet choking up, I stated

"I would rather walk home."

I took it one step further

" In fact, I would rather drive myself home than be in a car with you right now."

And with that I walked off. The thing is that I am a terrible driver, but I meant it when I said I would rather drive myself. The thing I had said to Lucas over the trip stung in my heart and echoed over and over in my ears. I was just another stupid girl who fell for Kavinsky. I quickly drove home, Kitty eagerly hugging me after three days apart.

"You're home!"

Her voice was filled with joy. I looked around the living room, which was fully decked out and ready for Christmas, then at my little sister

"Did you do this all yourself?"

She got an unreadable look on her face and elongated the word coming out of her mouth

"Weeell..."

Then I heard an all too familiar voice from the stairs behind me

"Hey, little sister."

My older sister Margot was home early! I grabbed her in a hug, with Kitty soon joining. I hadn't Skyped with Margot save for maybe once. I couldn't . Not while trying to lie. Still holding onto my older sister, I exclaimed

"You're home!"

Shortly after, we had carols playing and we were making sweets to accompany dinner, while Margot told us about Scotland, where she is attending college.

"Well, even when it's super cold outside, the girls still wear super short shorts when we go to bars and stuff."

This made Kitty's eyes widen in shock

"You go to bars?"

Margot replied

"Everybody does, the legal drinking age is 18 over there."

Even more in shock, Kitty questioned

"You DRINK?!" she then turned to me and asked "Who IS she?"

I smirked, knowing my sister always carved her own path

"She's Margot."

After going silent for a while, Kitty asked

"Can we invite Josh over? I miss his Blanche impression..."

That last comment had to do with him watching Golden Girls with me and Kitty. Margot sighed

"How about we make it a girl's night?"

Kitty was quick to add

"And Dad."

Margot nodded

"Girls night plus Dad. Just family."

Kitty agreed to it, but turned to me

"Guess that means you can't invite Peter."

I semi-glared at her as my oldest sister started to question who Peter was, but never got an answer from me, as I had been saved by the bell. Literally. I ran to open the door.

Only to come face-to-face with Peter. He looked at me

"Hey. We need to talk."

I looked back to where my sisters were, then turned to him

"Not here."

We both stepped outside, and he opened his mouth

"Look, just so you know, nothing happened between me and Gen last night."

Still upset, I fired back

"No, what happened is that you went to her room in the first place."

He sighed

"Look, Gen and I dated for a long time. Those feelings aren't going to just go away overnight. we have history."

I shook my head

"Ok, well I'm tired of being second best, or fake best..."

He cut me off

"No no no no no, you do NOT get it. Last night was-"

I was the one who cut him off for a change

"Last night was a mistake. Physical things may not be a big deal to you, but they are to me."

He looked shocked

"Who said they aren't a big deal to me?"

Enraged, I shot back

"Says every single guy on the bus! Clapping and praising you like you're the king of the world and you're just eating it up!"

He tried to explain himself further, but I told him to leave. He implored again to just go inside and talk, when suddenly, a familiar voice came from behind me.

"She asked you to leave, buddy."

The voice was strong, unwavering. Chilling even, if I had not known it. It was Josh. Yes, THAT Josh. But coming so firm, out of nowhere, behind me in the dark, that voice hit different. But I spoke

"Josh, I'm fine. Go back inside."

Josh replied

"No, it's ok".

Some look of enlightenment crossed over Peter's face, and his features and tone grew angered

"No, no no. Are you serious right now?! This isn't about Gen and me at is about you and Josh! Are you kidding me? This is the reason you broke up with me. Because you're still in love with this Bon Iver wannabe?"

Josh took over the discussion

"If Lara Jean broke up with you, it's probably because she came to the life-altering revelation that she's too good for you!"

Before I could act, however, I heard a hurt tone from the door, which I had not even heard open. My older sister looked shocked, if not about to cry

"You're in love with Josh?!"

As I turned to pacify her, she was already halfway inside the house. I called after her

"Margot, no"

Margot ran back inside and closed the door or Kitty, who had followed her, along with Peter, Josh and myself. I was really close to tears now. I turned to the lacrosse captain and to my neighbor, then turned to Peter

"Peter, GO home!"

He looked at me briefly, then upwards, then said

"You were never second best."

With that, he left. Josh looked at me

"I didn't know she was home yet."

I crossed my arms across my chest and replied

" She finished her exams early. It was a surprise."

Shortly after, Josh went back to his house. Trying to break the silence, but to also provide some solution, Kitty spoke

"Guess I'll order a pizza."

With that, she went back inside, and I soon followed. Margot was not on speaking terms with me, even as I tried to explain the situation to her. This, of course, after I had ripped the contract in half and thrown all my romance novels in my trash. At least things couldn't get worse.

Ding.

My phone chimed with a notification from Instagram, and I screamed bloody murder. It was me and Peter at the hot tub, I was tagged and the angle made it look like we were doing it, which would never be the case, but still.

Now desperate, I wiped away tears and knocked on my older sister's door again. She had been furiously unpacking, no doubt taking her frustration over me out on her laundry. She finally let me in, after taking one look at my face. I sat next to her and showed her the sighed

"Well, we can't see your face, and you're all covered up, so if you hadn't been tagged, it could have been anyone. It really is worse for Peter than it is for you."

I scoffed

"It's never worse for the guys..."

But luckily, Margot knew exactly what to do and sent an anonymous email to Instagram to delete these pictures and videos under child pornography laws. Later, we began talking, and she confided she thought I had been trying to date Josh now. I was shocked she could think that

"How could you think I would ever do that to you?"

She was truly upset

" I didn't know what to think. I mean, you wouldn't even Skype with me. I just thought you didn't need me anymore."

I had to laugh

"Are you kidding? Look what happened while you were gone!" I was clearly referring to the debacle of the now deleted video. I then went on

"And I couldn't Skype with you because I was lying to everyone in my life and I knew I couldn't lie to you."

After we had made up, Margot spoke up

" Let's make a pact. No more secrets between the Covey girls."

Kitty spoke, having come in a while ago

"Ok... But I have a secret too. I... sent the letters."

There was a second of silence in the room before I spoke, eerily calm

"I'm going to kill you."

As we circled around the room, running after and away from each other screaming as Margot tried in vain to stop us, Kitty said she thought knew I was lonely and that she knew Peter liked me and I liked him. Still running after her with a unicorn scepter-like thing, I questioned

"So you just sent all FIVE of them?"

Ducking away from my grasp, she defended

" I thought five chances at a boyfriend were better odds!"

Margot stopped me

"Her logic was off. But her heart was in the right place."

Not placated in the least, I shot back

"Her HEAD is gonna be in the wrong place!

Stopping me again, my older sister spoke

"Lara Jean. Before you murder our sister, can I just ask you a question? If you really never wanted to send those letters, why did you address them?"

I gave a pitiful comeback

"It's not like I added a stamp..."

My older sister went on

"Could you just admit that maybe you don't want everything in you life to be a fantasy?"

I stayed quiet, in defeat. She went on

"So if I can forgive you for writing my boyfriend a love letter, do you think you can forgive Kitty for sending them?"

I turned to the youngest Covey and narrowed my eyes at her

"You owe me braid crowns for the rest of your life."

She sighed in relief

"Oh thank goodness! I was really hoping to make it to seventh grade."

Margot then counseled me to talk to Peter, but I wasn't emotionally prepared yet, and he was no doubt busy with his ginormous family. If I did patch things- fake things- up with him, it would be a story for another day.