Sorry for the late update. Tech Week for this semester's school play was this past week, and we'll be doing shows in the coming week. I swear once the show's over, I'll speed up updates, even when I finally start driving practice.
Play Phineas and Ferb Theme Song
The wind blows multiple calendar pages into the air, starting on June 3.
There's 104 days of Summer Vacation
Then School comes along just to end it
Phineas and Ferb sit under a tree in their backyard.
So the annual problem for our generation
Is finding a good way to spend it
Cue montage of the boys doing multiple activities.
Like maybe
First, the boys land on the moon. They jump out of the rocket and float forwards.
Second, Phineas climbs on top of Ferb. They try to fight a mummy.
Third, they climb up a certain French tower.
Building a rocket or fighting a mummy
Or climbing up the Eiffel Tower
Fourth, Ferb removed a tarp to show a weird unicorn-turtle hybrid. Phineas takes a picture of it.
Fifth, the boys force a monkey into the shower. Neither of them enjoy this one.
Discovering something that doesn't exist
Or giving a monkey a shower
Sixth, they surf on a large wave.
Seventh, they create tiny robots.
Eighth, they find Frankenstein's monster. The brain is missing from the head. It doesn't take them that long to find.
Ninth, they find a bird.
Tenth, they fly on a helicopter with a large paintbrush over the city. They covered the city in orange paint.
Eleventh, the boys work on a painting. The painting depicts a red-headed girl with a mustache.
Surfing tidal waves, creating nanobots, or locating Frankenstein's brain
Finding a dodo bird, painting a continent, or driving your sister insane
Turns out, this girl isn't actually a painting, but the boys' sister, Candace. She turns to Phineas angrily.
"Phineas!" she shouts.
The boys do multiple things, all the while their sister watches angrily.
Film a movie.
Build a giant robot dog.
Tamper with a car.
Ride a rollercoaster.
As you can see, there's a whole lot of stuff to do before School starts this fall
Candace talks to a friend on the phone. She doesn't notice the boys carrying a live elephant into the backyard until she hears Phineas call out, "Come on, Perry!" That gets her attention.
Later, she's seen playing "Whack-a-Pest". The pests that pop out are her brothers and their pet platypus.
So stick with us, 'cause Phineas and Ferb are gonna do it all
Afterwards, the boys dance around and play guitar as images of the infinite possibilities flash by.
So stick with us, 'cause Phineas and Ferb are gonna do it all
When the boys are done, they pose. Their sister comes in.
"Mom, Phineas and Ferb are making a title sequence!" she shouts.
The boys stare at her for a second. They then brush it off and resume their poses.
End Intro
104 Days of Summer Vacation
Day 64
Lotsa Latkes
Phineas, Ferb, and Isabella were at the Danville Senior Lodge.
"Thanks for helping me set up for the Latke Festival this year, guys," Isabella thanked. "It'll go a long way to helping me get that Golden Years Assistant patch."
The three got distracted by a weird noise coming from the kitchen. They turned to see it was just Isabella's grandma blowing her nose.
"Hi, Nana Shapiro," Phineas greeted.
"Can't wait for the latkes, darling," said Nana. "Nobody's had a bite to eat all day."
"We can start cooking as soon as Baljeet gets back with the potatoes," said Isabella.
That's when Baljeet ran in, Buford and Django in tow.
"No, no we can't!" Baljeet cried. "We looked all over the place, but there are no potatoes in the entire Tri-State Area!"
"And I'm down to my last potato chip," Buford added as he took the last chip out of his bag. "Better make this one last."
"What am I going to do?" Isabella panicked. "Have you ever seen a senior citizens' riot? It's like a slow, gray tornado of canes and false teeth."
An idea popped into Phineas' head.
"Buford, let me snatch that potato chip," he requested, taking the chip. "Guys, I know what we're gonna do today. We're going to use the DNA in this potato chip to clone our own potatoes. Hey, where's Perry?"
Perry was already in his lair.
"Morning, Agent P," Monogram greeted. "We've recently learned that Doofenshmirtz has fallen behind on his electric bills. This seems odd considering his generous alimony package. His ex-wife is loaded, and, I might add, quite a handsome woman."
Perry gave Monogram a teasing smile.
"No, not that I've given that a great deal of thought," Monogram said, rather defensively. He then cleared his throat and started speaking in his normal, authoritative manner. "Investigate at once. Monogram out."
Perry saluted and pushed a button. His chair converted into a rocket, and he flew out of the lair.
In the living room, Candace was laying on the couch, bored out of her mind.
"I'm soooo bored," she whined.
"Why don't you call Jeremy?" Linda suggested.
"He's working."
"What about Stacy?"
"Grounded."
"Jenny?"
"Protesting."
"What about busting your brothers?"
"It's nice that you take an interest, but they're not even in the backyard."
"Well, you can't sit inside on a gorgeous day like this, so get your bike. We're going out."
"I don't think so."
"Oh, come on, it'll be fun." Linda grabbed Candace's arm and dragged her out the door.
"Woo-hoo. Hooray."
Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated
Perry ejected himself out of his rocket and parachuted onto the balcony. He then ran into the apartment.
There, he slipped on a banana peel and landed in a platypus-sized stockade.
Doof came into the scene, laughing his usual laugh.
"So, Perry the Platypus, do you like your trap?" he asked. "It's called 'the stocks'. I read about it in this book, 'Ten Greatest Historical Traps of All Time'." He took out the book, and opened it to reveal it's a pop-up. "There was also this smaller book that came with it, 'Ten Greatest Historical Armies of All Time'." He took out the smaller book. "And according to this, the Spartan Army was fierce, unstoppable, and followed every order without hesitation, which is why I got this. Be right back."
He left the room. A few minutes later, he came back wearing a suit that consisted only of underwear, boots, a helmet, a cape, wrist pads, a spear, and a shield.
"It's a Spartan Army General uniform," he explained. "It must have been warmer in Ancient Greece. Anyway, once the Spartan army sees me in this, they'll obey my every command and help me take over the Tri-State Area! How will I acquire the Spartan Army, gone lo these many millenia? With my Historical-Army-Retrieverinator! It's potato-powered because I spent this month's alimony check on my last inator. You remember the Rudeinator? You know, I wore out three pairs of shoes buying up all these potatoes, but on the good side, it smells like french fries in here."
To be fair, it did.
Phineas and Ferb had just finished building their new contraption.
"Ladies and gentlemen, behold the wonder that is the Spudsalot," Phineas presented. "Buford, the sample?"
Buford handed Phineas the potato chip. Phineas inserted it into a slot.
"Ferb, start her up," he ordered.
Ferb pushed a button, starting the machine.
The machine fired red lasers into the ground, 3D-printing potatoes.
"Oh, thank goodness, now I can…" Isabella said before noticing something off. "Phineas, those potatoes have eyes."
"All potatoes have eyes," Baljeet pointed out.
"Yeah, but these eyes blink."
Everyone noticed that the eyes were blinking.
"Buford, did you put the chip in your mouth?" Phineas asked Buford.
"If I did, would that be actionable?" Buford replied.
"I think the DNA from your saliva must've combined with the potato DNA to make some sort of hybrid."
The potatoes bursted out of the ground and started running rampant.
The kids made a run for it. They jumped onto the Spudsalot.
"Aw, look at them," Buford admired. "They're like little bullies. I don't know if I should be proud, or if I should soil my pants in terror."
"We should do something about them before they do… whatever mutant Buford-potatoes do," said Phineas.
"But what about the party?" asked Isabella.
"Right. Buford, Baljeet, you guys stall the seniors. The rest of us will simultaneously round up the spud spawn. Wow, I just said a lot of S-words in the same sentence."
Candace and Linda were biking down the street.
"Isn't this fun?" Linda asked.
"Thrilling," Candace replied sarcastically. She then noticed a bunch of gremlin potatoes passing by, Phineas and Ferb chasing after them. "Mom, look!"
Linda turned around, only to see a produce truck passing by.
"Candace, are you okay?" she asked.
"Never better," Candace replied as she biked after the boys. "Come on."
Linda biked after Candace. "Well, at least you're finally getting in the spirit."
Doof activated the inator.
"Now to summon up the Spartan Army," he said.
An army appeared out of thin air. They wore brown armor made of iron and leather.
"Wait, this is the Mongol Army," Doof realized. "I must have had the dial set to 'Hun'. Oh well, you don't look a gift horde in the mouth." He approached the army. "Hello there. Welcome to the future. I realize you can't understand what I'm saying, and you're probably confused by the Spartan General uniform, but together, we will rule the Tri-State…"
Before Doof could finish that statement, the army charged forward like they were about to fight an enemy.
Doof turned around. "What are you…?"
He realized they were just digging into the fridge and pantry, looking for food.
"Well, it has been 1200 years since you've eaten," he relented. "I suppose we could call out…"
Then the army charged out the door, ramming Doof over in the process. The Spartan General armor was ruined.
"Ah man," Doof whined. "Now I gotta get a new costume…" An idea popped into his head. "That's it! All I have to do is hit the costume shop, then round up my Mongols, and the Tri-State Area will be mine!"
He headed to the costume shop, leaving Perry behind.
"We want latkes! We want latkes!" the senior crowd chanted.
"I don't have to put up with this!" one shouted. "I'm part of the greatest generation!"
Buford and Baljeet just stood on the stage, unable to speak.
"Buford, what do we do?" Baljeet asked. "Phineas wants us to stall."
At first, Buford couldn't think of anything, but then the perfect idea popped into his head. "Wait a minute. I know what we can do."
Buford took off one of his socks and used it as a puppet.
"Hey, who turned out the lights?" he asked in the best imitation he could make. He then took a permanent marker and used it to make the puppet a pair of eyes. "Thanks!"
The crowd was silent, until one senior in particular shouted, "Oh brother, this guy stinks!"
"That wasn't very nice!" Buford shouted, still imitating his puppet.
Baljeet made a sock puppet of his own.
"Technically, we are socks," he said, making his own imitation.
"Hey, Mr…. Other Sock," Buford went on. "What are you doing here?"
"Just looking!"
"For what?"
"My sole mate!"
They both laughed and blushed at each other. The crowd just booed them.
"I think we have to take it up a notch," said Baljeet.
Buford closed all the blinds while Baljeet turned out the lights.
Play "Frenemies"
The two then quickly put on black suits, ties, and top hats. They got on stage, picked up some sticks, and started dancing to a beat.
Both:
We look good in hats, long tails and spats
When we hit the town together, baby we know where it's at/s
"You're pluralizing 'at'?" Baljeet asked.
"Work with me, brain boy," Buford said.
Pause "Frenemies"
The potato gremlins caused chaos everywhere they went. They popped balloons, tore off toupees, covered buildings in toilet paper, and made cars crash into each other.
"Well, this is a mess," Phineas remarked.
"How are we gonna round them all up?" asked Isabella.
Ferb took out a couple of hoses.
Phineas knew what Ferb was suggesting. "Yes! If we reverse the backup engine on the Spudsalot, and attach those hoses, we can suck up those potatoes into that soothing hot tub we built into the bulkhead."
"'Hot tub'?" asked Django. "Why would you build a hot tub on this thing?"
"I think the real question is, 'why wouldn't we'?" Phineas retorted as he put the hoses in their spots. "Time to round up some spuds!"
Continue "Frenemies"
Buford and Baljeet continued dancing to the song.
Both:
If I were dangling from a ledge
I/He would save him/me with a wedgie
One of the women started jamming to the song.
Baljeet:
I'm smart, perhaps a bit refined
Buford:
And I'm a bit more edgy
The two hit their sticks together like they were in a sword duel.
Both:
'Cause we're frenemies
We like disliking one another
Yes, we're frenemies
He's like my least favorite brother
Pause "Frenemies"
The Mongol Army stormed out of the DEI building. The first thing they saw was an army of potato gremlins.
There was about three seconds of awkward silence, then the Mongols shouted, "French Fry!"
All the potatoes ran the opposite direction, screaming.
Phineas and the crew saw the Mongols.
"Wow, Buford had Mongolian barbecue for breakfast?" Isabella assumed.
"I don't think those are ours," said Phineas. "Follow that horde!"
They went after the armies.
"Mom, hurry!" Candace shouted. "They're right around the corner!"
She turned around to see that Linda was struggling to keep up.
"Candace, wait," she said, breathing heavily. "I'm not… as young as… I used to be."
Candace groaned. "Fine!"
She grabbed a rope and tied it to her mother's bike. She then sped after the boys.
At the costume store, a clerk had just handed Doof the costume he wanted.
"That's one Genghis Khan costume," she said. "Will you be paying in cash or credit?"
"I'm kinda low on funds right now," Doof replied, offering a few potatoes. "Do you accept potatoes as trade?"
Continue "Frenemies"
Baljeet wrote a hard math problem on a blackboard.
Baljeet:
I like complex calculations
Buford flipped the board over, hitting Baljeet and making him hit the floor.
Buford:
I like physical confrontations
Baljeet showed a drawing of himself as an oxpecker and Buford as a rhino.
Both:
We both have our roles
This is a symbiotic relation…
They both looked away from each other and blushed brightly.
Ship
'Cause we're frenemies
We like disliking one another
Yes, we're frenemies
He's like my least favorite brother
At this point, everyone was bobbing their heads back and forth to the song.
You and I, we're not enemies or friends
We're just frenemies till the end
End "Frenemies"
All of a sudden, the wall burst open, revealing not one, but two armies. One of humans and another of potato gremlins. They all started fighting each other.
Luckily, all the seniors assumed that was part of the show and applauded.
That's when the door burst open, revealing a particular man that looked like Genghis Khan, just with a pointier nose.
"Stop, my brothers!" he shouted, before noticing the senior citizens. "And others. Gaze at last upon my appropriately Mongolian military regalia, and know that you must now obey my every command!"
Then, Phineas and the others came in and saw the chaos.
"Oh no, the festival is ruined!" Isabella shouted.
As if things couldn't possibly get any worse, Candace showed up.
"Mom, look, potato gremlins!" she shouted before noticing the Mongols. "And others!"
But Linda had a bunch of newspapers covering her face. Each time she removed one, it was like two more appeared in its place.
While Perry couldn't find a way to free himself, he managed to stand up while still being held in the tiny stock.
He redirected the inator to where he assumed the army was, and he fired.
With the job done, he jumped off the balcony, activated a parachute, and glided back home.
Right when Linda finally got the newspapers off of her, the armies were gone.
"Now what am I supposed to be looking at?" Linda asked.
"But… but… but…" Candace stuttered.
"I think you've had enough fun for today." Linda took Candace's hand and carried her home.
"NO!"
Isabella approached her grandma, a look of sorrow on her face.
"Nana, I'm sorry for ruining the festival," she apologized.
But Nana just laughed. "'Ruined'? That was the best time we've had since they canceled Three-Bean-Salad Tuesdays! The floor show was fantastic! The ending was a bit out there, but trust me, they had us at sock puppets!"
Buford and Baljeet put on sunglasses and signed autographs for their adoring fans.
"Form a line, people," Buford ordered. "Form a line."
"Well, it sucks we couldn't get the potatoes for the latkes," Phineas said. "But it seems everything worked out fine."
Then Perry showed up, trapped.
"What's Perry doing in a pillory?" Phineas wondered as he worked to release Perry.
"That's actually a stock," Ferb corrected. "A pillory forces the wearer to remain upright, exposing him to poking and prodding from passers-by."
"Wow. I'd expect that kind of knowledge to come from someone a little older, 50 or 60."
Somewhere in Mongolia…
A couple of men entered an ancient underground ruin.
"This is it," said one. "No one has seen this for a thousand years." He examined the mural and did his best to translate the ruins. "The legend tells of an epic battle between the Mongol army and… potato gremlin creatures, while a, uh, pharmacist from the future worked in vain to return to his time, crying out, 'Curse you, Perry the Platypus'?"
The other man left the ruin, unsatisfied.
"I swear, I majored this in College!" the first man assured.
Thanks for reading.