Just how did things turn out this way?

I couldn't understand. Not back then. And not now either. Was my existence itself cursed? Many events in my life led me to believe so. I mean can you honestly blame me for thinking that I'm cursed after what those horrible people put me through? But that's the thing. I wanted to reject them completely as if they were monsters from a nightmare. However, they weren't monsters, just people. And unfortunately, what I experienced wasn't a nightmare but reality. If only…

… If only what happened next was just a nightmare. But I couldn't have been more unprepared for what was about to unfold. Not me from back then. And definitely not me in the present. But before we get back to the former let's pick back up on what was unfolding with the latter.

All this time I had been staring at my ceiling aimlessly. There was nothing for me to do except lay back on my bed and stare into nothingness. My phone was dead, and I didn't have the energy to charge it. So, the device was just sitting next to me on my bed. Once upon a time I used to like going on my phone and watch some funny videos on YouTube or TikTok. I was just doing that a few days ago to ease my nerves. But all of that seems like a distant memory. I had no desire to eat. I had no desire to sleep. I had no desire to enjoy myself in any way whatsoever. I just didn't want to do a single thing and that was that. But…

'Grumble.' My stomach had a mind of its own and let me know that I must consume some substance to please it. It had been doing that for a while now. Just what was the last time I ate anything? I couldn't remember. Or maybe I didn't want to remember. However, my mind went against my wishes as my past played like a video as if it was some movie that people were paying to watch in the theater. I didn't have any intention of remembering what came after that 'incident' at my middle school. I needed to get my mind off of things. Before I-

'Scratch. Scratch.' But before I knew it, my left hand was scratching my neck. Though it wasn't simply scratching. It was more like my nails were digging into the skin of my neck almost as if they were trying to tear my jugular out of my throat. I almost didn't notice it. But when I did, I aggressively pulled my left hand away with my right. I didn't want to cause another wound. I already ran out of band aids. So, if I were to cause another self-inflicted wound then I wouldn't be able to do anything about it.

However, since that this the first time that I had been unconsciously scratching my throat, perhaps it's for the best that if I get some more band aids. My stomach also has nothing in it. It would be a problem in the future if I don't eat anything. I might starve to death. Though it's not like I cared about living, not right now at the very least. I just didn't want to die. I couldn't die. Not after what they all put me through. And especially not after what 'he' did to me. And since I had a multitude of reasons for wanting to go outside, that's exactly what I did.

'Creak.' With a barely audible 'creak' I closed the front door of my apartment behind me and traversed out of the emergency exit. So, that I wouldn't have to deal with the person in the front lobby noticing me. Because the moment they were to notice me I would probably be forced to attend AN against my will. And that was NOT an option. Not while I have this 'curse.' Speaking of said curse, I have made progress in canceling out the effects of it by putting on gloves. They were the see through kind that stuck to my hands. Strangely enough whenever I had them on the effects of that 'curse' were made moot.

However, it was only a temporary fix. The moment I took off the gloves the curse was activated and would destroy anything I touched. The only exception was my body. But that being said, I could only deduce that this is because I don't want to die at any cost. And if that's the case then is the reason why my curse is wiping things from existence, because I have no attachment to whatever I destroy? By that logic it was almost as if it was a writer choosing to erase a few words that he wrote as if they never existed in the first place. But is that really the case? If so, then did I have no attachment to my favorite stuffed animal? Or even my toothbrush? If that's the truth, then…

… Am I even 'human' any longer? Because if I was still human, wouldn't I care about things that supported me either mentally or physically? Perhaps I'm just really depressed. If I was simply depressed, then that would explain everything. No wonder I had no desire to do literally anything unless it was to preserve my life unless I was depressed. However, I can't say that for sure either. Because the way I'm feeling right now isn't all that different from how I felt back then. That's right. Back then before I…

… Lost what little innocence I had left.

Chapter 56: Kei Karuizawa: Origin Part 2

I couldn't believe what had happened. Not only had I caused a scene in my classroom by tipping over my desk, what I did after… was… how? How was I even capable of doing something so merciless? But what was even more frightening than that cruel act was the fact that I couldn't even remember doing it. I didn't remember a single thing that happened after I saw that dead rat on my desk, and they all laughed at me right until Ken slapped me. Speaking of Ken, I need to go apologize and explain myself properly when I get a chance to. I don't want him to hate me. Because if I lose him too…

… Then what else will I have left?

My parents, who raised me and loved me when I was a child, had no desire to showcase any affection for me anymore. To make matters worse, they were especially furious I had stabbed a girl's hand with a pencil. I tried to explain that I had no recollection of the event. But that only made them angrier. If I couldn't understand how I had no memory of the event, then how could they begin to even understand what I couldn't? That's why I didn't blame them for that. But what made me feel worse was when I thought they were going to hit me. It wouldn't be the first time they struck me. But just as my mother raised her hand into the air, it went down not a moment later.

Should I have been grateful that I wasn't hit? No. I think it would have been better if I was compared to the alternative. The alternative being the look of utter disgust she gave me. She didn't even need to say the words 'I hate you' because the look on her face told me everything I needed to hear. And the look my father gave me was the same. That's how I could tell he thought the same way my mother felt about me. They both hated my guts. That overwhelming sense of hatred was something that I could practically feel. It was almost as if I was being lit on fire. That burning sensation wouldn't go away unless I did.

However, I was too much of a coward to take my own life. So, I chose the easy way out. Which was to run away. That's right. That same day, that 'event' that caused my parents to hate me even more than they already did would transition to the night that would change the trajectory of my life forever. But I couldn't possibly know that at the time. All I could do was leave my house by using my bedroom window with my school backpack on my back. Though there were no supplies inside of it. Just all the clothes I could stuff in it and a few daily necessities too along with my diary. The only other thing I had on me was my wallet.

However, that had very little money in it. My parents never gave me that much money to begin with. So, I didn't have enough money to stay at a hotel for a single night. There was nothing that I could do about that. So, I would have no choice but to sleep in the nearby park. It wasn't going to be comfortable. But at least I wouldn't feel that burning sensation all over my body any longer. But before I could make it to the park, I inadvertently passed by the convenience store that I first met Ken at. It was practically right next to my house. So, it was impossible to not pass by it when walking to the park. But in the process of making my way there, he was there waiting for me.

"… K-Ken?" I muttered out of sheer confusion. I couldn't believe it. Right where we first met, he was there. It was almost as if I had gone back in time back to the moment we talked to each other for the first time. But things were different between us now. Or at least they should have been after what took place in the classroom not too long ago. But here he was, giving me a warm smile. It was surprising to say the least. D-Did he actually forgive me for what I did? No. That couldn't be. My parents were mortified the moment they were called out of work to pick up their daughter who stabbed one of her classmates. Rightfully so.

But the thing is they didn't need to say a single word for me to tell that they were utterly disgusted. In stellar contrast, Ken didn't have a hint of anger on his face. The look he gave me right after slapping me was one that closely resembled hatred. Though this one was pure happiness. It was almost as if he was relieved that I showed up. But how would he have even guessed that I would do something like this? He did know that I was on bad terms with my parents. So, maybe it was not all too surprising. But even still, it did not explain why it seemed like he forgave me. But I guess the look on my face told him everything he needed to know.

"Kei, I'm sorry about what happened earlier. Our classmates were being really awful to you. You had every right to stab whatever her name was. But I couldn't exactly defend you after that. I needed to protect my reputation after all. You can understand that right?" Ken said as if what he was saying was completely natural. But it wasn't. How could I have every right to stab someone? She laid her hands on me. She even beat me where it hurt. But does that give me any right to inflict bodily harm on her just because she punched and kicked me a few times? That can't honestly be okay. Though before I could say another word, he embraced me.

I couldn't move a muscle. I was trapped within his arms as he pulled me in close. Our bodies were practically sandwiched together. We hugged before this; we were boyfriend and girlfriend after all. We kissed a few times too. But this… this was different. I couldn't quite put my finger on it. But the way he hugged me now was different when compared to how he did before. It was almost suffocating. A part of me wanted to tell him to let me go because I wasn't comfortable with this level of physical intimacy. But I didn't have a chance to express my concerns because he beat me to the punch.

"You don't have anywhere else to go, do you? I have some money to burn. So, how about I rent us a room at a nice hotel? Just the two of us." Ken whispered into my ear. I was fully aware that he was rich and was looking out for me as my boyfriend. But I wasn't so sure that I wanted to spend the night in the same room as him. It wasn't as if I didn't trust him. In fact, he was the person I trusted most. It's just that… maybe it's better off I'm alone for now. I need some time to think about so many things. I can't possibly do that if we are in the same room together. That's why I was about to reject his offer. But once again, I wasn't given the opportunity to say a single word.

"Sounds good? Then let's go." Ken continued as he firmly grasped my right hand and began pulling it. I didn't have much of a choice but to follow him. Or maybe it was as if he wasn't giving me a choice. But that couldn't possibly be the case. He trusts me. He trusts someone who was unquestionably psychotic earlier today. He trusts me when by all accounts and purposes he shouldn't. Why? How could he be so… trusting? I might be his girlfriend. But is that really all he needs to trust me? That can't be. But just as I was sure of just that-

"Kei… you trust me, right?" Ken asked as he didn't miss a beat as he pulled me along with him. I was surprised by this question. So, it took me a moment to respond. But I knew deep down that I didn't want him to hate me. Because if he hated me, then would there be anyone else who still loves me? I didn't want to be confronted with such a horrible reality. So, even though he was making me feel a tad bit uncomfortable with the way he's acting right now, I accepted my feelings for him. Which were-

"Of course, I trust you. I love you, stupid." I replied with a face that was bright red. It wasn't easy for me to say that I loved him even after the dates we'd been on and the kisses we shared between us. I was definitely in love with him. He's been the only bright spot in the absolute darkness that has become my life. I didn't want to lose him. Because if I lost him, then I would be completely alone. And if someone is utterly alone and cut off any source of love by another person then are they even human any longer? I genuinely thought that I would lose my humanity if he were to break up with me. So, I foolishly accepted these feelings of mine as the truth.

"That's a relief to hear… for a second I thought you were beginning to hate me." Ken replied as my eyes shot wide open. I couldn't possibly ever hate him! If anyone deserves to be hated, then that's me! I didn't want him to get the wrong idea about how I felt. So, I submitted to him even more than before.

"I don't hate you! I… I never will. Never ever!" I replied with as much conviction in my voice as I could muster to the point that it even momentarily surprised me. But oddly enough it didn't seem all that surprising to him as he wordlessly nodded in affirmation. That was the last thing he said as our conversation or lack thereof had been cut short as we arrived at a nearby hotel. Just the outside was rather eye catching so the inside must be even better. Though I didn't have much time to admire the architecture of the building in front of me as Ken whisked me away into it. There we made our way to the front desk.

"Name?" The man standing near the front desk said with a stoic look on his face. He had an expensive looking tuxedo on. But to my surprise he wasn't asking Ken for his name but me for some reason.

"K-Kei Karuizawa." I introduced myself awkwardly, much to my embarrassment. But this only made Ken laugh as my cheeks grew all the more red. He then wrapped his arm around me which caused me to let out a sudden gasp of surprise. He's been forward with me before. Asking me out on the day we had some semblance of a conversation was evidence of that. Though this was really forward, even for him. But once again none of the words were able to come out of my throat as they did so easily for him.

"She's, my guest. I'm expecting the usual room is available?" Ken asked as the man nodded in affirmation. Usual room? Oh, so Ken's a regular here. No wonder that man asked for my name. He probably isn't used to him bringing other people here. What a foolish assumption on my part. But I was so naïve at the time. So, there wasn't anything that could be done about it.

"Certainly. Follow me." The man replied as he ushered us to follow him. We then made our way up the elevator. The building was rather tall with ten available floors. Though I didn't expect us to go all the way up to the highest floor available. I guess that's where all the fancy rooms are at. I didn't have time to confirm that, because the room that Ken ordered for us was right outside of the elevator. The man already with the key in his hand opened the door as if he had repeated the same motion a million times by now. Considering that this is his job that might not be too far off. He then tossed the key to Ken who caught it with ease.

"Then I will be in the lobby. Call me if you need any room service." The man said before vanishing into the elevator. Once again, it was just me and Ken. And that's how it was going to be for the remainder of the night. I'll leave the next morning since I don't want to be a burden to him. Plus, if I stay out of too long even my shitty parents will probably start looking for me. That would make for a good excuse, so I'll use that when the time comes. But for now, it was just me and Ken. And without saying a single word, he led me into the room, locking the door behind us. There he stood behind me for a few seconds. I wondered what was up with him. So, I turned around-

"MMPH!" Only to have his lips forced on mine. It was all so sudden I had no idea how to react. My eyes were completely wide open. And so was his. He was staring into them with a look that sent shivers down my spine. It was a look that I thought wasn't possible for Ken to produce. But here he was looking at me like a predator who finally caught his prey. That look of utter satisfaction and dominance made it crystal clear to me that he was planning this since we met up with each other outside of the convenience store. In fact, it was all too 'convenient' that he just happened to be there in the middle of the night! But even still I pushed him off of me.

"What are you-MMPH!" But that only lasted for a moment. I was only able to get out a few words before he slammed his lips onto mine again. I attempted to push him off of me once more. But he expected me to do that! So, he clenched my arms with his hands and forced them back with ease. The amount of strength he was using made it abundantly clear that he wasn't holding back in the slightest. His fingernails dug into my arms and pierced me like knives. I wanted nothing more than to scream. But that's why he was kissing me! To hold me back from screaming! I was caught in his trap as I could do nothing but be forced backwards until-

"GAH!" I let out a scream for about a second as I fell onto something all too familiar. The feeling of comfiness below me was a clear indicator that what I fell onto was a bed. Something that would have made me feel right at home was now sending danger signals throughout my entire body. But he knew exactly how I would react, so he grabbed my mouth and clenched it shut with his massive hand that practically covered the entirety of my face. The only thing his fingers didn't cover were my eyes. And with them I could see the part of him that he kept hidden from me for quite some time. And since there wasn't any reason to keep up this charade, he laughed quietly before explaining himself.

"Kei. I have a confession to make. You see, I wasn't entirely honest with myself when we first met. When I made you my girlfriend, it wasn't because I actually had feelings for you. I mean for starters; you had no presence within the classroom. You had no friends. You barely spoke. You were just a nobody. You might as well have been nonexistent. But that made you the perfect target. If you had someone, anyone who actually gave a shit about you then none of this would actually be happening." Ken whispered into my ear while digging his fingers into my face with one hand, and with his other hand, he placed it somewhere that he nor anyone else had permission to touch. That being my breasts.

"MMPH!" I tried to scream with all my might. But that had no effect whatsoever since his hand was still holding my mouth shut. Though I had no intention of stopping there. I attempted to punch him. However, he avoided all of my attacks as if he saw them coming from a mile away. As for my legs, he was holding them down with his. So, there was nothing that I could do on that front. It seemed almost pointless to resist. Even still, I tried fighting back as much as I could. I was desperate to escape from his clutches. And since none of my hits were landing, I had no other choice but to bite his hand that was on my face!

"Haha… that tickles. Did you honestly expect that to- Ken spoke but I cut him off by landing a hit right in his face! He was momentarily fazed as blood dripped down from his lips. I punched him so hard that his lower lip was busted and bleeding down his chin. He then glared daggers at me for less than a second before he lifted up the hand that was on my breasts and clenched it into a fist.

'BAM!' I couldn't even blink in the moment that transpired as he slammed his fist into my stomach as hard as he could. The result caused me to cough up my blood. But he didn't miss a beat and lifted up his other hand that was covering my mouth before turning it into a fist.

'BAM!' And slammed it directly onto my face. I was only just barely able to shield my eyes as I closed them shut just as his knuckles hit them. In the process of doing so his fingers also collided with my nose, so hard that blood began dripping out of my nostrils profusely. In one swift motion, my nose was broken, and I had two black eyes. Not to mention that my stomach hurt like hell. But not just there. My entire body was writhing in agony as I could do nothing against the beast on top of me. And if I even tried as much, well he made what would happen clear. Even still, he made sure I knew.

"Try that again and I'll break your arm. I know just how to do it to make it as painful as possible. So, don't try testing me Kei. I won't hold back against you or anyone else who dares make me draw blood. That's why I had no choice but to pay you back in full. An eye for an eye, they say. You can understand that much at least. Though I might have hurt both your eyes instead of just one. Oops." Ken whispered into my ear. I couldn't see the look on his face with my black eyes that were swollen shut. But his words painted a picture that was crystal clear to me as if I was seeing it with my own eyes. That's why I knew without a shadow of a doubt, he was grinning sadistically.

"… Why? … Why would you do this to me… Ken?" I managed to get those few words out of my throat before he placed his hand onto it. I knew that he was enjoying himself to his heart's content. That much was obvious with the way he spoke before. But even still… why? I couldn't understand his motivation in the slightest. He knew that. So, he picked up where he last left off.

"As I was saying before you rudely interrupted me, my reason for doing all of this was fundamentally because you were alone. You see, I'm the type of man who enjoys the absolute suffering of others. That's why I started dating you because I KNEW just how those bitches would react the moment they learned it. I couldn't date any of them since they were friends. Sure, some would turn against each other. But it would result in a civil war so to speak. But what if I chose someone who was completely and utterly alone? That way they would be united against a common enemy. That being you, Kei." Ken whispered into my ear with a devious voice. Just hearing it made me feel like a complete fool for trusting him. But he wasn't done.

"That was how your torture began. Just seeing all the creative ways that they put you through hell filled me with happiness. But know this. You weren't my first guinea pig for such an experiment. It worked wonders before I transferred to our school. But I had no choice but to leave my old friends behind when a girl just like yourself committed suicide over the matter. Such a shame. She wasn't my type in the slightest. But she made me feel joy on a level that I thought wasn't possible. Though that was until I met you, Kei." Ken continued as I felt more disgusted over him with the passing of each second. I couldn't bare to listen to him any longer. But he made sure I did until he finished.

"You unlike that other girl who killed herself, you managed to put up with it. It was quite marvelous to see how stubborn you were to resist all kinds of harassment. However, even I couldn't possibly expect today's result. The way you completely snapped and dominated the entire classroom! Not to mention how you drove a pencil into that bitch's hand! This is going to sound dirty. But when I saw just how depraved you became… I got an erection." Ken whispered as I attempted once more to scream as he revealed that unsettling truth to me. But he saw that coming and closed my mouth shut. It was then that I could feel that 'thing' poking me in the stomach, digging into it as it was still hurting from being punched.

"Even now, I'm struggling to resist the temptation to fuck you. But I was feeling generous. So, I thought it would be best to explain things. So, that you understand where I was coming from. I never felt this way about anyone before. Sure, there are sexy girls in our class, most of which are way more attractive when compared to someone plain like you. But you have accomplished the impossible by arousing me on a level that I simply felt wasn't possible. Congratulations Kei. Now, it's about time I give you your reward." Ken finished speaking as he lowered his hand to his pants before unzippering them. It didn't take even a moment later for that 'thing' to spring out. That piece of meat poking me in my sensitive stomach made me want to do nothing but scream.

However, I wasn't even allowed that much because his hand was still making sure that mouth was under lock and key. He wasn't going to take any chances. So, he made sure that I wouldn't be able to scream. I wanted to resist him. But how could I when he was more than capable of killing me with his bare hands? He was a man with an above average physique compared to our peers. That much was noticeable whenever our class had track, and we were all in our gym clothes. But even before that, I couldn't help but eavesdrop on the guys while they were in their locker rooms. That was when I learned that he was second to none. And with muscle came strength. There just wasn't anything that a young woman like myself could do against such oppressive might.

"Oh, where are my manners. It would be shameful of a generous guy like me to not make this enjoyable for the both of us. Let me help you out with that." Ken whispered into my ear before he started taking off my clothes. First, he started with my shirt before taking it off. He then focused on my breasts that were only being protected by my bra. If he were to unhook the straps, he would see something that only my parents and a few doctors have seen before. I didn't want scum like him to see them. But I couldn't do a single thing to resist unless I wanted to be beaten into submission. The result would be the same either way. So, I didn't waste any effort on my part and let him have his way with me like the coward I am.

"Damn. You know I've got to say. They are not exactly huge. But they are bigger than I expected. Forgive me for thinking that you were nothing but average. I couldn't be more wrong on all accounts. You truly are exceptional, Kei." Ken whispered into my ear before putting his hands on my breasts and fondling them to his hearts content. This caused me to let out a moan as I wanted nothing more than to kill myself for letting him touch me like that. But what else could I do? I can't beat him. He's so much stronger than I am. Resisting will get me nowhere. I'll be pummeled again and again until I won't be able to move ever again. That's why I can't do anything to stop him.

'That's right. You are utterly worthless. Your entire existence has been nothing short of pointless. And now it has led to an unspeakable tragedy. And yet, you do nothing to resist. You see no point in doing so. That's what makes you nothing short of a weak rabbit who's about to be devoured by a strong wolf. Really, that's all there is to it.' Someone said but it wasn't Ken saying these words. In fact, the voice sounded almost identical to mine. It was almost uncanny how similar they were. But if neither of us are speaking then who is? But it didn't seem like he could hear the voice because he wasted no time in removing my last articles of clothing.

"Damm. I thought you'd be a bit more wet. But it doesn't seem like you are enjoying this. You were moaning just before this. So, I'm quite surprised. Just what is it that you aren't enjoying about this, Kei?" Ken asked as I knew full well I had almost no time left. It would only be a matter of moments before he stole my innocence. Just thinking of what was about to happen made me want to die. But I couldn't. He probably wasn't going to let me leave here anytime soon. He would commit the cruelest acts imaginable for the remainder of the night. Only then will I be free.

However, I won't really be free, will I? Ken comes from a wealthy family. Even if I were to accuse him of raping me. Then it would surely come down to a situation that would be settled in court. But by then, the judge will certainly be paid off by his family. They will probably say something along the lines of 'Since she willingly followed our son to that hotel. She gave her consent.' The result would only make my life more of a living hell than it already is. It's not a life I ever will want to live in a million years. So, my only choice after this is to commit suicide. I'll end up just like the girl he was talking about before. And that will be that. That is my fate.

'That's right. There is nothing that you can do against someone like him. You are too 'innocent' too 'pure of heart' to even be capable of something as merciless as murder. However, I have no such weakness. That is what makes me stronger than you. So, it's sufficient to say that the only way you're getting out of this alive is to let me take control.' The voice from before went through my ears. But once again, Ken was none the wiser to it. Am I simply going crazy? Just who the hell is talking to me right now?!

"Well, whatever. It doesn't really matter all that much whether you're enjoying it or not. You will be soon enough. So, just let this happen, alright? Then you will surely feel as if you're on cloud nine! Just like how I'm feeling right now! But don't worry about what anyone in our class will think! Because once we go back to school together, I'll tell everyone just how many times we fucked!" Ken whispered into my ear with such excitement that it was obvious he wanted nothing more than to scream his words to the heavens. However, that made me lose any lack of sympathy I had left. He might have shown me compassion before. But this will make me loathe him for all eternity. That's why I had no reason to hold back any longer.

"I'm going to kill you." I muttered with a voice that was practically quiet. But since he was so close to me, he heard it as if I was speaking normally. This made him tilt his head out of confusion and mutter 'Huh?' Under his breath. He was momentarily startled by my sudden declaration of murderous intent. It was really only for a moment. But that was all 'I' needed to trap him within my clutches by grabbing onto his throat. I then proceeded to dig my nails into his skin. And since I was still wearing fake nails in an effort to appear a bit more pretty for him when I went to school today, they just happened to be pointy and sharp enough to make cut the skin on his neck.

"K-K-Kei!" Ken just barely managed to get my name out of his throat as 'I' was choking him with every fiber of my being. Of course, he tried hitting me. He didn't hold back in the slightest as this was quickly becoming a life-or-death struggle. But to his utmost surprise his flurry of blows had little to no effect as 'I' didn't stop choking him for a second! It wasn't as if 'I' wasn't being hurt. But for some reason 'I' felt no pain whatsoever. Though his blows were certainly doing a number on me, and 'I' would be rendered unconscious if 'I' didn't finish him off before that.

'STAB!' That's why 'I' had no choice but to stab with my sharp razorlike nails as 'I' dug them into his throat. 'I' dug them with so much pressure that the fake nails were ripped off my fingers. But even though the pain should have been utterly excruciating, it wasn't. 'I' felt no pain in the slightest. However, the tradeoff of losing my fake nails was part of the skin on his throat was ripped apart. 'I' didn't need eyes to see that the inner parts of neck were visible. There his jugular was. If I tore that out of neck, then he would surely die. Good thing 'I' still have a full set of nails to accomplish that. And that's exactly what 'I' started doing as his blood started spraying me in the face.

"AU-MMPH!" Of course, Ken was trying his hardest to scream. But 'I' didn't allow him that much. 'I' completely turned the tables around by placing my hand on his mouth as 'I' clamped it shut. After all, 'I' only needed one hand to rip out his jugular. However, he didn't stop trying to resist. Though his punches became weaker and weaker as he continued to bleed all over the bed. But even though 'I' was certainly killing him, 'I' didn't feel anything about it. It was as if 'I' had become a soulless machine with only one procedure only. To kill this wild animal at all costs. And that's what 'I' was basically doing. 'I' was putting him down like the rabid animal he is.

'RRRRGGGGHHH!' 'I' then heard a sound that 'I' had never heard before. In my hands was something that felt like meat. Since 'I' couldn't see 'I' didn't have any clue if that was his jugular. But since 'I' no longer heard him speak, the damage had already been done. Ken was dead. And 'I' was still alive. But how could that have happened? By all accounts and purposes, the situation should have been the reverse of what it is now. So, how did that happen? Just who killed Ken? 'I' attempted to open my eyes, and 'I' was able to see them ever so slightly. 'I' then saw something red on my hands. My nails were completely peeled off. Not just the fake ones but the actual ones on my left hand. The same one that 'I' used to kill Ken. Wait a minute…

"Oh… I guess 'I' killed him." I muttered to myself as I got off the bed and stretched my neck. I didn't feel all that different. But for some reason, I can't remember actually killing Ken. It was the same thing that happened when I must have stabbed that girl. I don't remember committing the act whatsoever. Just the result. The result being that I committed murder. But I… I don't understand. How… Just how could I have even been capable of that?! It didn't make any sense to me. I was alive. I should be happy that I was still breathing. But even still I couldn't help but cry. I didn't feel like myself anymore. I felt like I was slowly changing. Changing into something that isn't me. That isn't 'Kei Karuizawa.' But as I realized that-

'You couldn't be more wrong. What you are is a trivial existence that has no will to defend itself. The most pathetic type of thing that doesn't deserve to be called a person. That's why you aren't Kei Karuizawa. I am.' I then realized where the voice was coming from. It was coming from inside of me. There was another person inside of me. The real 'Kei Karuizawa' was lying dormant inside my body. She must have been there since I was born. But how is this possible? If she is Kei Karuizawa and I'm not… then…

… Who am I?

'Like I said, your existence is nothing short of trivial. You have nothing. You have no one. You are utterly and will forever be alone. Or at least you would be if you didn't have me. So, how about you let me take care of things. Soon everything will return to normal. Just the way it was before that sorry excuse of a man came into your life. Let me take control. Just one more time. After that, you will be free. How does that sound?' The voice belonging to the real Kei Karuizawa spoke as her words felt like sweet music. I nodded in affirmation as she took over once more. Kei wasted no time in making her way to the nearby phone on the desk beside the bed. There she dialed the number that was written right next to the phone.

"Can I have room service please. Me and Ken are enjoying ourselves so much right now. Just a little pizza will suffice. But don't forget to bring a knife. You see, I like to eat my pizza all cut into little pieces. Is that okay? Cool thanks. Just leave it by the door." Kei used my mouth to speak with a voice that I thought wasn't possible to come from our throat. It was full of energy compared to the one that I used that was practically devoid of life. I was speechless. But she wasn't and hung up the phone right after she was finished. We then waited around for a few minutes until-

'Knock. Knock.' Our food was delivered with a knock to the front door. Of course, the person who was most likely the same man from before did as instruct and left it right outside our room. Kei then yelled out 'Thank you!' Before waiting an extra minute to open the door. She then brought the food inside. She didn't waste any time knocking over the plates and shattering them to pieces. It created some noise. And soon there would be a noise complaint issued. They probably thought two teenagers were simply getting it on. But this was being used to her advantage. The time was right, and after writing something in her diary, she got back into position on the bed where Ken's lifeless corpse was. There she held the knife to where her stomach was, she had one last thing to say.

"Rejoice. Because now we are free." Kei said to me as she slit her stomach open. Of course, she made sure that the wound wasn't too deep. She wasn't planning to die. But if no one were to come sooner than later, then we would both die. Thankfully everything was going according to plan so that someone would likely show up within the next few minutes. Then after hearing no sound, they would unlock the door with the master key. And there they would find this grisly display waiting for them. The police and more importantly paramedics would be called. Both I and Kei would be saved. While all of this would be ruled as her killing Ken in self-defense.

And that's exactly what happened. It was just as Kei told me. Ken was labeled the perpetrator of the incident. The police believed that he tried to rape Kei which was true. I mean how could they not think that after finding Kei naked? After that, they ruled it as murder in the self-defense. But I would have still been given a sentence due to the excessive force that I used to rip out his jugular. However, Ken's family paid off the judge in my favor because his name would have been known far and wide as an attempted rapist if I was arrested. How ironic. But what Kei wrote in her diary also swayed things in our favor.

'Today… why? What did I do to deserve that? I've never done anything wrong to him. I loved him! I loved him with every fiber of my being! So, why!? Why after everything me and Ken have been through together would he try to rape me?! I… I didn't want to kill him! But I had no choice! I'm sorry! I'M SORRY!' The diary entry listing this was used as evidence. Along with the fact that it appeared that Ken tried to kill me with all the bruises on my body. And along with the wound on my stomach that they believed he made was all the judge needed to give me a not guilty verdict. The money from Ken's family though certainly helped in making that decision.

And that's how things went. My life returned back to normal. The exact same way it was before. But even though I kept my innocence, I was left scarred in more ways than one. But I didn't want anyone to know that, so I kept quiet. The teachers did too regarding the incident as they were bribed to say that Ken exchanged schools. With him gone, everybody stopped picking on me. I was back to being a social outcast with no friends. As for my family, they were the only things that did change. My parents were now scared to be around me. Thinking I was going to murder them too after what happened with Ken. That's why they were ecstatic when I was offered the chance to enroll in AN and get far away from them. And soon after that I boarded the bus to arrive at my home.

But was that really home for me? Of course not. I have no home. And it seems like Kei held the same opinion. But after the incident with Ken, I didn't hear as much as a peep from her. I thought that maybe I had dreamt all that and it was I who did all of those things. However, is that the truth? I'm not entirely sure. I think the truth lies in something called multiple personality disorder. If I had that then that would explain all the events that happened to me thus far as 'Kei' being an alternate personality. Though if that's the case then who was the original personality? Me? Or Kei? I… had no idea.

I wanted to believe that I was the original since Kei didn't show up till after I was bullied a bit and might have been a direct result of that. Though since I didn't check with any professionals about it since I didn't want word to get out that I may or may not have it, it's all simply a theory of mine. Both that I may be the original personality and the part about me having multiple personality disorder. And Kei wasn't going to answer that question no matter how many times I tried pestering her for it.

However, it was for the best that I don't check and try to forget about all of this since I would surely be bullied for it. There was even a chance that I would be bullied regardless. So, I found someone nice named Yosuke Hirata and asked him to pretend to be my boyfriend. Of course, I couldn't tell him what entailed on that fateful night. But what I did tell him, and by that, I mean how I cried crocodile tears was enough for him to commit to the act. So, that's how things went. We became boyfriend and girlfriend by the end of the first week of high school. I thought things would be normal. So, I became a bit happier. I dressed a bit nicer and acted a bit more like a girl my age should too boot. This was the beginning of my high school life after all. And then…

'Hello everyone. My name is Izuku Midoriya. It's a pleasure joining all of you at last.' He showed up and the rest was history.

To Be Continued…

Next Chapter: Decay

Go Beyond!

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