A/N: Densimber Day 7. Takes place during 8x03, "Queen's Gambit".
The ring weighs heavily in his pocket, a constant reminder of what could have been. If things had gone the way he planned, he and Kensi would have been on the beach after a nice dinner. He'd have been on one knee, a ring in his hand. With any luck, she would have said yes.
Instead, Kensi lays unconscious in a hospital bed, with no guarantee that she'll ever wake up. If she does, she may have permanent brain damage, paralysis, aphasia, and a whole host of other long-term effects. Right now, he'd do just about anything to see her eyes again.
The doctors keep saying to give her time to heal, but every hour makes that possibility seem less likely. He knows about head injuries, and done even more research since the accident. The longer Kensi stays in a coma, the less chance of a positive outcome.
It's a living nightmare.
Deeks spends the day between the hospital and work, tries to be strong for Julia, be present with the team while his world falls around him. Every so often, his hand finds its way into his pocket, curling around the diamond ring.
It's past visiting hours when Deeks finds himself back in the same hard chair next to Kensi's bed. It's late enough most of the extraneous hospital noises are gone. It should feel peaceful, but instead the quiet is oppressive. So, he starts talking.
"I got to work with Nell today. She tackled a suspect to the ground and chipped her tooth and everything. She's really taking the whole ninja thing to heart. Of course, nothing like my usual partner," he inhales sharply and swallows, continuing on quickly. "Nobody can match my Kensalina." He glances at Kensi, but she's as still as ever.
"She actually beat up two people today, so we might need to reign it in before she up and joins a bounty hunter group or something," Deeks says, glancing down at his fingers. "We saved some girls too. It was a good day. You know, aside from you not being there."
He sits up, studying Kensi for longer than he has for the last forty-five minutes. A wave of quiet desperation comes over him; he needs her to wake up. He needs their connection again.
"So I got you something," he starts again. "I kind of was waiting for the right time to do it. Really wanted to find, uh... that sunset that we talked about on a beach, bottle of champagne. But sometimes life doesn't work the way... that you plan it."
The future they've talked about, the one he imagines sharing with Kensi flashes through his mind. Maybe they'll never have that, but he can deal with anything, as long as he has Kensi. As long as she's alive."
"So we adapt." He reaches into his pocket and pulls out the ring that's been taunting him all day. "Kensi Marie Blye... will you please wake up and marry me?" Even though he knows she won't answer, he still pauses a beat, just on the off chance a miracle happens. Hell, he wouldn't be mad if she turns him down if it means she's awake.
"I'm just gonna put it on to see if it fits." Deeks slides the ring over her finger, hoping this isn't the only chance he'll have to do this. "Wow. That is spectacular, if I do say so myself." It looks perfect. And horribly wrong with her hand so still.
Then her other hand jerks completely off its pillow.
"Baby, your arm just moved."
In a mixture of relief and alarm, Deeks calls in a doctor, realizing he sounds frantic and crazy, but he can't stop himself. Not when Kensi's moving for the first time in days. He watches the doctor quickly assess her, his excitement dimming with every moment Kensi doesn't respond, and leaves him completely as the doctor gently explains the movement is actually a sign of brain injury.
"You just saw that. Her hand just moved," Deeks insists, in a last act of desperation.
"Yes, but it's not purposeful movement," the doctor tells him.
Alone once again, Deeks caresses her hand, and it jerks away. It seems like an omen. A message of hopelessness.
Blinking back tears, grief envelopes him.