Out of the Woods (The Walking Dead)
Them:
The road stretched ahead, cracked and lifeless beneath the overcast sky. The air was thick with the scent of decay, carried on the sluggish wind. They walked in silence, boots scuffing against the dirt, bodies aching from exhaustion. The road ahead stretched endlessly, cracked and broken, littered with scattered debris and abandoned remnants of a world long gone. The air was thick and heavy with the lingering scent of decay. Every step forward felt like a battle against exhaustion, against the gnawing hunger and the relentless grip of thirstAnother week passed and still no water. They had run out shortly after they left Richmond. Well, not completely. All they had left was one bottle to share so nobody could take more than a sip each. It was a hundred and ten degrees, including the humidity. They couldn't keep going like this without water. Daryl took Sasha and Maggie out into the woods to search for any water source, clean or not. With the temperatures how it was, he knew there was no chance in hell, but he had to try. Sasha found what remained of a creek. There was a lineup of dead frogs as the only evidence left of what had been there. They had next to no food either. Daryl dug out a few earthworms from the dirt to keep up his strength before heading out to the group members who had stayed behind to wait.
As soon as he left the trees, he immediately focused on Suzy to stay motivated and standing. She looked like she was sleeping again. Everyone who waited sat together by the white van in the middle of the street. Suzy rested her head on Rosita's shoulder with Rosita continuously petting her black hair. Whatever water they had left days ago went to the children and Suzy. The only good thing about the humidity, he figured, was it had to mean rain would soon come. If not, he feared the inevitable would happen. He couldn't let it happen. He wouldn't be able to handle losing another.
"How much longer we got?" Maggie asked.
"Sixty miles," Sasha replied.
Maggie sighed, "I wasn't talkin' about that."
Once the three of them made it back to the van, everyone piled back in to keep moving. Seeing them come back with no water was more than disappointing. No one could hide how much of a letdown it was.
"How's she doin'?" Maggie asked Rosita. For the entire week, Rosita gave Suzy the antibiotics like clockwork. Her chills were finally gone and her fever was down, but she was still bleeding. Her face was sickly pale and she spent most of the time knocked out. Rosita did her best to clean up the blood, but with no water, it was nearly impossible, leaving the smell to fester in the van and linger even with the windows down. The worst part was Suzy was having a bad reaction to the medicine. They were expired, but not enough. It was still strong enough to have her feeling unbelievably nauseous the entire week. She was vomiting every other day when she was awake, making it so she couldn't hold down any little bit of food they tried giving her. Not to mention it only made the dehydration worse which she couldn't afford. Rosita only hoped now that they were officially out of food it would give her stomach a chance to recover.
"The blood isn't that bad now, but she lost a lot. So..." Rosita replied, "I just gave her the last of the doxycycline, so it's really the dehydration we gotta worry about."
Once everyone was back in the van, Abraham got behind the wheel and drove off. He noticed how low the gas tank was; unfortunately, there were no other cars in sight to siphon gas from. He drove it as far as he could until the engine gave up and stopped in the middle of the road. It only took them another ten miles until it died. The only positive side was it meant it was ten fewer miles to walk.
"We're out," Abraham sighed, "Just like the other one."
"So we walk," Rick replied from the passenger seat. Once he said that everyone simultaneously opened the doors and got out to start walking. The only problem was Suzy still couldn't get up to walk. Her body had been through so much. Rosita knew if she tried to wake her and make her walk the rest of the way, she wouldn't make it more than a mile before her body completely gave out.
"I got her," Abraham said. With Rosita's help, they got her onto Abraham's back so he could carry her. Her arms dangled over his shoulders lifelessly and her body was pure dead weight. He didn't complain.
Not too long after they started walking, a group of walkers appeared from behind them, but were far enough to where no one paid them any worry. Rick knew they weren't at their strongest. They continued on. Suzy felt herself going in and out of consciousness. Everything passed by in a blur. She debated using the last of her strength to tell them to leave her behind. All she did this entire way was bring them down, put them in danger, and make them worry about her. She hated it. She wasn't even sure who it was carrying her. Whoever it was smelled something fierce. Or perhaps the smell was her. It was impossible to tell. Her eyes fluttered open at the sound of Daryl's voice saying he was going to head out again to look for water and that he wanted to go alone.
No, Daryl...Don't go...She begged herself to get the words out. She knew what he was doing because she was exactly the same, just as Merle had said so long ago. God damn twins, he had said. Daryl couldn't handle loss either. Whenever he had to face it, he always dealt with it the only way he knew how; by completely withdrawing. By allowing it to destroy him and who he thought he could be. By blaming himself for it. Maybe if he had done something different, the ones he lost would be here by now. Carol told him he had to let himself feel it. He wasn't sure what he felt anymore. He always heard people talk about depression and described it as endless dread, no happiness, only perfect sadness. Only he didn't feel sad anymore. He didn't feel happy, hopeful, sad, bitter, or angry. That was his definition of depression. It wasn't the feeling of dread. It was the ability to feel absolutely nothing and become completely numb from the inside out.
"They're catching up to us," Rick said, referring to the dead behind them. He noticed they were walking over a part of the road that broke up a fairly steep hill. To save their strength, they figured they could do this the easier way. Rick, Michonne, Sasha, Glenn, and Maggie were the ones to take on the task, Abraham joining in once he put Suzy down so Rosita could check on her.
"Come on," Rosita said softly.
She tapped her hand gently on Suzy's cheek so she would wake up. Suzy's eyes fluttered open and looked across the way. She saw the group taking on the walkers. She saw them using what was left of their strength. She saw Daryl appear just in time to save Rick. Her vision went blurry again. Her head tipped towards Rosita's shoulder who knew if she allowed it, Suzy would pass right back out. Rosita quickly put Suzy's arm around her shoulders and told her to help herself stand up. Suzy did as she was told but allowed her head to droop forward, making it look like she was sleepwalking.
Rosita helped Suzy into the woods until they were just far enough away to not be seen by everyone waiting on the side of the road. She had Suzy sit up against a tree so she could attempt to get some of the blood off.
"Good news is I think you finally stopped bleeding," Rosita said, "How are you feeling?"
Suzy didn't know how to respond. She most certainly wasn't happy. Everyone was in the shitter, including herself. What was she supposed to say? It was hot as fuck and they still had no water. She felt like hot garbage. Sure, the bleeding finally stopped, but wasn't the damage already done? How exactly was that good news?
"Fantastic," Suzy's dry voice responded.
"Still nauseous?" Rosita asked.
"No," Suzy replied. She gulped, feeling how dry her throat was. "Remind me to never take that shit ever again."
Since her throat was so dry, she broke out into a harsh cough. Rosita decided enough was enough with that disgusting rag and tossed it into the leaves. She pulled Suzy from the tree so she could pat her back to make her stop coughing.
"You'll be fine once we find water," said Rosita, "It's only a matter of time."
"Until what?" Suzy paused her coughing, "I roll over and die?"
"Come on, don't talk like that," Rosita said, "You can't. Not after everything. And look, you're talking again. You have no fever. Once we find water-"
"There-" Suzy said before breaking into a cough, "Is no water here."
"Rick said it's bound to rain soon."
"Oh, sorry. Didn't realize he was god," Suzy sarcastically replied before shutting her eyes. Rosita scoffed at her.
"What the hell is wrong with you," She scowled. They were lucky they knew their words didn't carry that much weight. Suzy let out one more cough before replying.
"I'm sorry. I thought you saw enough of my blood to figure that out yourself," Rosita knew she shouldn't smile at that, but Suzy had this habit of making her laugh at the worst stuff.
"Can you walk?" Rosita asked as she helped Suzy stand. Suzy used the tree to support herself. She licked her dry and chapped lips and looked up ahead. She could see glimpses of the road not too far from them. She began making small steps back towards the group while Rosita stayed by her side and held her hand to make sure she didn't fall. Suzy felt like she could drop at any moment due to the heat. She hadn't eaten in days, none of them had. Vomiting up everything before that was no help either. Although she couldn't see herself, she knew she looked like shit. She was pale white in the face from having been so sick, and like everyone else, she was dirty, sweaty, smelly, and itchy. Rosita was right, she was getting better, but as long as this no-water trend continued, she knew her days were numbered.
Once they made it back to the group, everyone began to head out again. This time, Rick offered to take a turn carrying Suzy so Abraham could have a break. Carl was holding Judith anyway, so it wasn't like he didn't have the hands. Rick was a lot stronger than she thought he was. He was able to carry her like she weighed nothing. Perhaps it wasn't only him being strong. She was also sure she was losing tremendous amounts of weight due to her circumstances. The group pressed on, their boots crunching over the debris-strewn pavement. When her eyes fluttered open again, she saw Daryl walking beside her and Rick at the front of the group. He moved through the trees like a shadow, his steps silent, his crossbow hanging at his side. He always came back, but he never said where he went.
She wanted to ask. But she didn't.
They had no time to dwell on it. He had been doing his best to find water like everyone else. However, it seemed no matter how hard he tried, finding water was becoming more and more impossible. It made him feel powerless. He didn't want to accept it. Accepting such a failure would cost Suzy her life, and pretty soon the others would follow. He snuck glances at her on Rick's back and debated taking his turn to carry her. What else was he supposed to do?
"Dad," Carl said, "Look."
Up ahead, the group stumbled upon a few cars scattered in the middle of the road. Was this finally a win? Maybe they had gas and then boom, they had cars again so they could get a break from walking. Perhaps there was more medicine, food, or water. Rick gestured for Rosita to help Suzy down off his back so he could help look in the cars. Rosita assisted Suzy in walking further down the street to a nice spot in the shade under the trees.
"Maybe we could rest here a while," Rosita said as she helped Suzy sit on the ground.
"Great," Suzy said with a sarcastic tone. She couldn't stand all the walking and stopping. Walking. Stopping. It made this trip feel like an eternity. She saw Daryl across the road. He had gone off again in search of anything that could be of value for water or food.
"How's she feelin'?" Abraham approached. He had helped search the cars and only found one thing he could use. He hid it in his bag before checking on Suzy.
"Not good," Rosita replied. She got up so she could talk to Abraham out of Suzy's earshot. Suzy knew what they were talking about. They had to discuss what they were going to do with her in the coming days if she didn't pull through. Rosita was almost convincing when she gave her spiel earlier about how much Suzy "improved". Sure, the infection and sepsis were solved, but the dehydration was taking her faster than everyone else due to the antibiotics making her so sick. Rosita knew if Suzy didn't get any food or (especially) water very soon, there was no chance Suzy would make it to D.C. They still had around forty-five miles left to go. She'd be lucky to survive another ten.
Suzy's eyes fluttered open and watched everyone give up on the cars. They had nothing of value to them. The group came to the shaded spot for another rest. Rosita stayed by Suzy's side. In front of Suzy sat Tara, who also didn't want to leave her side but wouldn't say so. Glenn and Maggie were stuck together per usual nearby. Following Rosita, Eugene, Gabriel, Carol, and Michonne all sat in a row with Sasha, Noah, Rick, and Carl holding Judith sat closer to the street. Abraham sat further away from the group in his own little solitude. His conversation with Rosita didn't go well. Neither of them wanted to accept Suzy's fate, but Rosita knew she had to be realistic. Abraham was the one who didn't want to give up and made that perfectly clear to her. He couldn't lie, he cared for Suzy so much like she was his blood-relative. He fought so hard to help bring her back the first time around when he found her dying on the road. What was all that effort for? For her to die here? He hated Rosita being right about this. However, they both agreed leaving Suzy behind was out of the question. He wasn't sure what he believed in when it came to the "other side", all he knew was they needed a miracle from whatever existed on that other side if Suzy (or any of them) were going to have a chance.
Whenever they took their breaks, no one talked. They all sat there in silence and pondered. Over what? How much longer this was going to take them? The trees rustled, causing everyone to jolt and be on guard, but only for a second until they saw it was Daryl. He shook his head in disappointment. Nothing. Again. Abraham pulled a small bottle of whiskey out of the bag he had found in one of the cars. Due to the circumstances, he didn't hesitate to start drinking it.
"So all we found was booze?" Tara asked softly.
"Yeah," Rosita replied.
"It's not gonna help."
"He knows that," Rosita sighed.
"It's gonna make it worse."
"Yes, it is." Rosita nodded. Abraham took another drink upon seeing Suzy passed out on the ground again next to Rosita.
"He's a grown man," said Eugene, "And I truly do not know if things can get worse."
Rosita put her hand on Suzy's leg which was covered in dry blood. She understood how Abraham felt and worse. She was doing everything she could to help Suzy pull through. It was an uphill battle and having to prepare for the inevitable worse-case scenario didn't help her nerves. She didn't want to give up on Suzy. However, what else could she do now that she hasn't already done?
"They can," Rosita replied, holding back tears and folding her hands together. The world was a ruin, and Suzy was barely holding on.
Each breath rattled in her chest, her body starved of everything it needed to fight. She couldn't move. She barely felt the hunger anymore, nor did it feel blistering hot, just the cold creeping up her spine like a whisper.
Then, she saw her mother.
She was standing in the middle of the road, bathed in golden light, a figure untouched by the filth of the world. Her hair was done up like it always had been before the world fell apart, and she wore the soft lavender cardigan, the same one she wore the day Suzy watched her get ripped from her hand.
"Mom..." Suzy choked out, tears spilling over sunken cheeks.
Her mother knelt beside her, fingertips brushing against Suzy's sweat-slick forehead. It was warm, tender, the way she used to soothe fevers when Suzy was a child, before things got so bad between them. For the first time in a long while, she felt comforted. Safe.
"I can't tell you how sorry I am," Suzy whispered, her voice trembling, "I should've tried harder..."
"No, Suzy," her mother said, "There was nothing more you could've done. It's okay."
It's okay...No, everything was not okay. All this moving around in her condition...The heat...She didn't think she had anything left of herself to give.
"Please..." Suzy whispered, tears welling in her eyes, "Just take me with you. I can't...I can't do this anymore."
Her mother smiled, sorrow laced in her expression. "Oh, my sweet girl. It's not your time."
Suzy sobbed, gripping at the fabric of her mother's sleeve, but there was no substance to it. "I don't want to be here anymore. It hurts. It hurts so much."
Her mother cupped her face, thumbs brushing away the tears. "I know, baby. I know. But you still have more to do. More to give."
"No, I don't," Suzy replied, her voice so weak, "I know. I know they've already whispered about me nearing the end and what they had to be ready to do. They have to leave me here...All I can do now is bring them down."
To her surprise, her mother still smiled.
"It isn't time to let go. Not yet." She said, "Look how far you've come. Remember, always remember. You're stronger than you think. Droughts don't last forever, and neither does pain. What good would it do to give up now?"
A shadow passed over them. The golden light wavered, the warmth fading into something sharper, harsher. A voice cut through like a knife.
"Suzy! Hey—wake up!"
The vision shattered. The warmth vanished. Suzy's eyes fluttered open, her mother gone, replaced by Rosita's urgent face who was crouched beside her, shaking her by the shoulders. Her eyes were fierce, but lined with worry.
"Shit, you scared the hell out of me," Rosita muttered, voice taut with relief. "I almost thought you were-"
Rosita cut herself off before she said the word. She wouldn't allow herself to.
"I have good news and bad news," said Rosita, "Good news is we have food. Bad news is..."
Suzy looked around at everyone, digging their teeth into some freshly cooked meat they had pulled from the fire. How long had she been out? Long enough for someone to find food and build a fire, at least. When she looked closer, she saw what remained of what they had to kill to get this food. All that was left was a dog collar...
Suzy never owned a dog. The apartments she lived in growing up had pet policies that made it impossible. The closest she ever got was either going to Lucy's boyfriend's house who had three dogs, all pit bulls, or when she got to meet her dad's partner who had a German Shepard police dog. Her dad had promised her if she graduated from her cosmetology school, he would get her a dog.
There was more than one collar. They used to be someone's before all this; probably well-behaved and full of love, only doomed to wander the streets trying to survive like everyone else. Suzy didn't take her eyes off the collar when she allowed Rosita to feed her the well-cooked meat. The smell of blood thickened in the air. The taste was bitter, gamy, but no one complained. Suzy chewed slowly, swallowing past the lump in her throat. This isn't living, she thought. But as she looked around at the faces of the people beside her, she knew—nothing would ever be as terrible as being alone.
Nothing.
They ate in silence, the firelight casting flickering shadows against their tired and sweaty faces. Then, without a word, they got up and kept moving.
"Come on," Rosita said, helping Suzy to her feet, "I got you. Just a little further, okay?"
Suzy nodded. You're stronger than you think, her mother's words repeated in her head.
"I can do it," Suzy said softly. She pulled her arm away from Rosita's shoulders and nudged her away so she could walk by herself. She was done having people carrying her.
"Suzy, you don't have to-"
"I can do it," Suzy replied, a bit more strength in her voice. She had to keep going. The taste of dog meat still lingered in Suzy's mouth, but at least the hollow ache of hunger had faded. It was a strange feeling; being full after days of emptiness. The pain in her limbs dulled, and for the first time in what felt like forever, she could walk on her own. She refused to be carried anymore.
Each of them bore the weight of exhaustion, their bodies pushed beyond their limits. Every step was a battle against the elements, against the relentless pull of despair that threatened to swallow them whole. Suzy hung toward the back of the group, waiting for the right moment. Then she slipped away. The woods were damp and quiet, the air thick with the scent of wet earth. Her legs wobbled slightly as she made her further into the woods. Perhaps she could be the one who found water. No, that's stupid, she thought. There was no water. She decided to spit into her hands and use that to try to get the blood off. After trying that a few times, she realized it was no use.
Just then, she saw movement in the trees far ahead. Daryl... He was moving away from the group again, his body tense as he disappeared into the undergrowth. Suzy didn't know why she followed him. Maybe it was curiosity. Maybe it was something deeper, something she wasn't ready to name. Either way, she found herself creeping through the trees, careful to keep her distance. Daryl stopped in a small clearing. He pulled a cigarette from his pocket, lighting it with practiced ease. The glow illuminated his face for a brief moment before he took a long drag. Up ahead, he saw what looked to be an old, abandoned barn. Could there be water there? Before she could think about it further, Suzy's breath caught in her throat as she watched him press the burning end against the palm of his hand. She watched him not even wincing or flinching at the pain, as if it wasn't happening at all. The acrid scent of burning flesh filled the air, making her stomach twist. The cigarette fell from his fingers, landing in the dirt as his body trembled. Then, without warning, he broke. A harsh, ragged sob tore from his throat, his hands gripping his knees as he hunched forward. His shoulders shook with the weight of something he never let anyone see. Suzy froze. She had never seen Daryl like this before, not even when she comforted him back in Atlanta.
He was always the strong one, the quiet one who carried his burdens in silence. But now, in the solitude of the woods, he was just a man unraveling at the seams. She wanted to go to him, to say something, but the words stuck in her throat. So she stayed hidden, letting him grieve in the only way he knew how. What was he thinking about? The pain of losing Beth? Tyreese? The lingering feeling of hopelessness? The fear Suzy was going to be the one who was to go next? He didn't think he could take losing another. No, he knew he couldn't. If she died, he could never shake the feeling that it would be his fault, just like the rest who passed away. If he hadn't given up, if he had kept looking, if he had done more, things would be different. Wouldn't they?
After a few moments, Daryl wiped his face roughly and stood. His expression hardened once more, the vulnerability wiped away as if it had never been there. Suzy turned to leave, her heart still pounding in her chest when snap. A twig cracked beneath her foot. Daryl tensed, his hand flying to his crossbow as he spun around. His eyes scanned the trees, his breathing heavy.
"Who's there?" His voice was sharp, demanding. Suzy pressed herself against a tree, willing herself to disappear. Daryl's grip tightened on his weapon.
"Come out," he growled. She didn't move. The silence stretched between them, thick with tension.
After a long moment, Daryl let out a frustrated breath and lowered his crossbow. With one last glance around the clearing, he turned and headed back toward the others. Suzy waited until he was gone before slipping out of the shadows. Her legs were weak by the time she made it back to the group. Before she could take another step, her body gave out. Abraham caught her.
"Damn, kid," he muttered, lifting her effortlessly. "You keep this up, I'm gonna start charging."
Suzy gave him a weak glare, but she didn't have the strength to argue. She knew the alcohol was encouraging him to joke around, but she didn't have the strength for that either. He carried her back toward the others, setting her down when they came across something strange in the middle of the road. Bottles of water. Ten bottles of water and another four gallons all neatly placed together in the middle of the street, almost like an offering. A note sat beside them, the words scrawled in neat handwriting.
From A friend
"Water?" Glenn said in shock, "Someone's watching us."
Nobody moved.
"Do we trust this?" Abraham asked, his tone skeptical.
Rick shook his head. "No."
Rick picked up the note just when Daryl was getting back from the woods. Rick handed the note to him, the words making Daryl shift uncomfortably and look around to see if anyone was nearby.
"What else are we gonna do?" Tara asked.
"Not this," Rick replied, "We don't know who left it."
"If that's a trap, we already happen to be in it," said Eugene, "But I, for one, would like to think it is indeed from a friend."
"What if it isn't?" said Carol, "They put something in it?"
"Eugene-" Rosita said, watching him dive towards the water, grabbing the first bottle he could get his hands on.
"What are you doing, dude?" Tara chimed in.
"Quality assurance!" Eugene replied, unscrewing the cap. Abraham wasn't sure why he did, but he threw himself forward out of muscle memory to quickly smack the bottle out of Eugene's hands, allowing the water to pour out onto the tar road. With some of it splashed onto his face, Eugene gazed down in shock, his mind, body, and soul grieving the loss of that water puddling on the ground.
"We can't," said Rick. Suzy gazed down at the water. Her mouth was so dry, like cotton. She didn't trust it either, but she figured she could still use it to clean the blood off of her at the very least.
As if on cue, the sky rumbled. The sun hid away behind the dark clouds pulling in. Within seconds, the rain began to pour. Droughts don't last forever... And neither does pain...Suzy couldn't believe her mother ended up being right. They opened their mouths to catch the drops, letting the cool water soothe their parched throats. Tara and Rosita laughed in relief as they lied down to let themselves get drenched. As Suzy stood at Abraham's side, she closed her eyes and let the rain pour on her as another thunderclap cracked from above. The blood she had been covered in slowly ran down her legs, finally cleansing her of the horrible reminder of what she had to endure. When she opened her eyes, her lashes each having a small drop at the tip, she shifted her gaze to Daryl. Much like Sasha and Maggie, he too did not relish in the gift they were given. He looked completely dissociated, not looking at anything in particular.
"I'm sorry, my Lord," Gabriel cried.
"Everybody get the bags," Rick said, "Anything you can find. Come on."
The group all took out any empty bottle they could find and placed it in front of them for the rain to catch. But the relief was short-lived. The wind howled, the rain turned violent, and the sky darkened with the promise of something worse. The thunder cracked even louder, causing baby Judith to start crying with Carl using his hat to shield her from the rain.
"Let's keep moving!" Rick called out.
"There's a barn!" Daryl shouted over the wind and thunder. "We can take cover!"
"Where?"
They didn't hesitate. Daryl led them to the barn with Rosita and Tara helping Suzy since she still couldn't run. Rick, Carol, Abraham, Glenn, and Maggie went inside first to clear it while Michonne watched the door with everyone else outside to wait for the all-clear. Once they got it, everyone went inside and collapsed against the wooden walls, breathing heavily. Once everyone caught their breath, they each picked a spot in the barn where they would rest for the night, a select few circling around a fire that flickered in the center thanks to Rick, the small flames struggling against the damp air.
The wind outside screamed against the barn, rattling the old wooden structure like the wailing of a dying world. Rain hammered the roof, a relentless downpour that drowned out all but the roaring thunder and the eerie creaks of the barn walls shifting against the tempest.
Suzy stood by the entrance, wrapping her arms around her thin frame, her skin prickling from the cold that seeped through the cracks in the wood. She kept her eyes locked on the doors, the only thing separating them from the chaos outside. Lightning flashed, illuminating the space for a split second—stacks of rotting hay, the hunched figures of her sleeping companions, the outline of Daryl moving toward her. His presence was steady, familiar, a silent force in the midst of the storm. Without a word, he took his place beside her, his stance rigid yet calm, hands resting near his belt, ready.
They both wanted to speak. Maybe about what had happened earlier in the woods. Maybe about something neither of them had the courage to put into words yet. Instead, they paced in slow, deliberate circles, side by side, in a silence heavy with unspoken thoughts. The fire flickered in the center of the barn, its glow casting long, shifting shadows against the walls. The storm raged, but in here, for just a moment, there was stillness.
Then, the stillness shattered.
A low, guttural growl cut through the rain. Suzy froze. The sound came again, closer this time, layered with others; snarls, moans, and the sickening drag of feet against wet earth. Daryl and Suzy gazed through the open crack in the doors to see a horde of the dead coming right for them. Daryl gasped in shock and wasted no time trying to chain the door shut before putting his back to the doors to keep them shut, Suzy right beside him. She lunged, slamming her weight against the doors with all her might. The impact nearly knocked Suzy off her feet, but she gritted her teeth and pushed harder, her fingers digging into the rough wood.
A chorus of groans followed, hungry and insatiable, as more bodies threw themselves against the weak barrier, rotten hands clawing for an opening. The wood groaned under the pressure, the hinges screeching as they strained to hold.
Suzy and Daryl reacted at the same time. They lunged forward, slamming their weight against the doors. The impact nearly knocked Suzy off her feet, but she gritted her teeth and pushed harder, her fingers digging into the rough wood.
"Maggie!" she gasped, her voice barely rising above the chaos.
Maggie was the first to go help them, then Sasha, then Rick. One by one, the others jolted awake, their survival instincts kicking in. Glenn scrambled to his feet, then Carol, Michonne, and Abraham. Soon, Rosita, Gabriel, Tara, Eugene, and Carl were all there, bodies pressed against the doors, muscles straining as they fought against the horde outside.
The barn rattled as the walkers slammed against it again, harder this time, their snarls feverish, desperate. Suzy felt her shoulder press into Daryl's, their bodies moving in sync as they pushed with everything they had. His warmth was a stark contrast to the cold, his presence grounding her even as the chaos swirled around them. His breath was hot against her skin, ragged and determined, matching the rapid beat of her own heart. Every scrape of his boots against the dirt floor, every subtle shift of his body beside hers, was something she became acutely aware of; like an unspoken rhythm they shared, one they shared since they first met.
The thunder clapped again and the lightning flickered, casting a moonlit glow over his face as their eyes met.
Time seemed to slow. The storm outside faded into nothing, the weight of the horde pushing against them insignificant compared to the pull between them. In his gaze, she saw everything words couldn't capture. Understanding, protectiveness, something deeper, something she wasn't sure either of them were ready to name. Respect? Care? Hope? Her chest tightened as she realized just how much she had missed this, or rather, missed him. Neither of them spoke, but the moment stretched between them, heavy with something unsaid.
Then, a sudden impact jolted her balance, nearly knocking her off her feet. Before she could fall, Daryl's hand shot out, his fingers curling around her arm, holding her steady. The warmth of his touch sent a different kind of shiver through her. For just a second, he didn't let go. Thunder crashed overhead again, shaking the barn to its foundation. The wind howled, shrieking through the cracks as if the world itself was warring against them. For what felt like an eternity, they held the doors shut, their fingers gripping the wood so tightly that their knuckles turned white. The pressure of the horde was relentless, but together, they pushed back, holding the line.
The storm would pass. Droughts don't last forever, and neither does pain.
Pretty soon, the world will stand still once again...
By morning, the storm had passed, leaving behind a world washed clean yet utterly broken. The sun crept hesitantly over the horizon, its soft light filtering through the cracks in the barn, casting long golden streaks across the damp wooden floor. The wind had died down to nothing but a whisper, carrying the distant groans of walkers that had been scattered by the hurricane's wrath.
Maggie and Sasha were the first to step outside, bracing themselves for whatever devastation awaited them. The others stirred slowly, stretching sore limbs and murmuring in hushed voices, reluctant to face the aftermath.
Suzy stayed behind. Her body ached, exhaustion weighing down on her like an anchor. She sat against one of the barn's beams, trying to ignore the dull throbbing in her legs. Her fingers trembled slightly as she traced patterns in the dust at her feet, her mind restless despite the stillness around her.
Daryl sat nearby, silent, his hands working idly at his crossbow. His movements were methodical, but she could see the tension in his jaw, the way his shoulders hunched slightly forward. Suzy hesitated. Her chest tightened at the thought of speaking, of saying the words that had burned in her throat since she first saw him again in the train car back at Terminus. Apologies had never come easy for her, especially not one like this. Not when it came to him.
She inhaled deeply, bracing herself as she came over to sit beside him. Just say it. Tell him before you lose your chance again.
"I'm sorry," She said, her voice quieter than she intended.
Daryl didn't react at first. He kept his focus on his weapon, adjusting the string, running his fingers over the worn wood. For a moment, she thought maybe he hadn't heard her.
Then, finally, his fingers stilled.
"For what?"
Suzy swallowed hard, "For leaving," she replied. Her fingers curled into fists against her lap, "I never wanted to hurt anyone. Especially not you."
Daryl exhaled sharply through his nose, "Didn't think you cared."
That stung.
Suzy's brows furrowed, a flicker of pain flashing across her face. "I didn't think you did."
That got him to look at her. His eyes, tired but sharp as ever, locked onto hers. A thousand things seemed to pass through them, too fast for her to catch. He didn't respond right away. Instead, he rubbed a hand through his hair, letting out a slow, measured breath.
"I looked for ya," He muttered, "Every damn day."
Suzy's heart clenched, her throat tightening. He wasn't looking at her anymore, his gaze fixed somewhere past her shoulder, lost in something she couldn't see.
"Almost got myself killed a few times," He continued, "Right around before the prison fell...I got into an accident near Sawhatchee Creek. Rick insisted it was time to let you go, so I did. Thought I'd never see you again."
"I just thought-" Suzy's breath hitched in her throat, "I thought you'd be better off without me. I couldn't be there dragging you down. I wasn't myself. I convinced myself I was better off alone."
"And were you?" Daryl asked. Suzy shook her head.
"No," Suzy replied.
"Then why'd you never come back?" She couldn't place it, but something in his voice when he asked her that made her want to cry. He sounded like he'd been wanting to ask her that for a long time. He probably was.
"I thought if I wasn't there," She said, barely above a whisper, "I could spare myself the pain of seeing you die, too."
She wanted to know why he had searched for her. Why he had risked his life for someone who had already given up on herself. But she didn't. Because she was terrified of the answer. Before she could think, before she could hesitate, she reached for his hand. Her fingers brushed against his calloused and rough skin. He didn't pull away.
But then, his gaze flickered downward. Suzy followed his eyes and realized, too late, what he was looking at. The scar she now had in the center of her forearm from that dreadful day...A cold dread coiled in her stomach. Panic surged and she quickly withdrew her hand, tucking it against her lap as if that could somehow erase what he'd seen.
Daryl didn't ask what happened. He didn't have to. The silence stretched between them, thick with everything left unsaid.
After a long moment, his voice broke through the quiet, "Wish I'd been there with you," He said softly in his raspy voice. Classic Daryl, feeling responsible for everyone else's well-being. If he had been there, he would've been able to protect her and she wouldn't have tried to do such a thing to herself.
Before she could stop herself, she found herself replying, "Yeah. Me too."
"Sorry we couldn't have a better reunion," Daryl shifted, exhaling as he pushed himself up from the floor. He mumbled something about fixing his crossbow (despite him already doing something with it where he had been sitting), already turning away before she could stop him.
From across the barn, Rosita sat, sharpening her knife. She had been watching. When Suzy's eyes met hers, her expression knowing. Heat rose to Suzy's face, but she looked away quickly, as if that would make it any less obvious because in that moment, everything finally clicked...
She finally understood. "I don't know much about that Daryl guy, but you'll find your man one day. I wouldn't worry too much about it."
Rosita was right. All she wanted since finding out Daryl was alive was to find him and never leave his side ever again. She loved him. Not just in the way she had before, not just as a friend or a survivor clinging to something familiar to the memory of her lost love.
She was in love with him.
And it shattered her. Because no matter how much she wanted him, no matter how much she longed for the warmth of his presence, the safety of his strong arms, she knew she didn't deserve him. Not yet. Not after everything. Daryl deserved someone whole. Someone strong.
And she?
She was just a ghost, still trying to remember how to live. Why had he looked for her? Why had he risked himself like that? Why had he never given up on her, even when she had already given up on herself? She was afraid of the answer. If he had cared that much, if he still did, then what did that mean for her? She wasn't the same person she had been before. She was broken. And he deserved someone whole, didn't he?
She had spent so long believing she was beyond saving. So long believing that she had already lost. But then she found Rosita and Abraham. They gave her another chance to become whole again. Because they thought she deserved to be found, to be saved.
Maybe she did deserve to be here.
And maybe-just maybe-she could deserve him one day, too.