A/N: Oh yeah. It's definitely working. This is the best chapter in this entire story so far.

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Original Nagato

Now that the focus had returned, there was a lot of work to be done. He and Yahiko spent the evening after the early meeting listing and categorizing it all on their own whiteboard, which they had requisitioned from Deidara. Clone Yahiko's mission moved to the top of the list, followed by Zetsu. The mission was very important and in jeopardy, and Zetsu was the only person in the entire setting who genuinely hated the Akatsuki. Nagato sighed. "Unfortunately, after your death, we were not able to learn very much about Zetsu's abilities. He served as a spy. I have little idea what his battle capacity might be."

"If his original was a good spy, that makes him more dangerous than a clone descended from a strong fighter. Spies have skills that are still useful in this world."

"I have considered that. But regardless of what world we find ourselves in, reality still works the same way. Intrigue, plotting, and conspiracy all must eventually culminate in the real, physical, spilling of blood. Otherwise they amount to nothing." Perhaps Zetsu should be moved to the top of the list. "That demands we answer the question: how much blood is he capable of spilling?"

"I would rather we focus on preventing any bloodshed," Yahiko murmured.

What am I doing? He's right. Prevention should always be top of the list. "Yes, of course. But it never hurts to acknowledge the worst-case scenario." Nagato turned away from the whiteboard and gave Yahiko's hand a squeeze. "Thank you."

Yahiko smiled and squeezed his hand back. "Always."

They couldn't very well start a complex course of action just before bedtime, so why not take some time to relax? They sat on the edge of one of the beds, still holding hands. They leaned against each other, sighing softly, then breathing in again, inhaling each other's scent. Yahiko laughed. Nagato grinned. Electricity crackled across his skin, but after several days, his body was finally starting to understand that Yahiko didn't want sexual intimacy. These moments between them weren't about that at all, and trying to initiate something would ruin the mood. Nonetheless, as Yahiko shifted his head and a wisp of his hair brushed against Nagato's cheek, Nagato's heart flipped.

This is enough, he told himself. This is more than enough.

Original Hidan

Hunting powerful prey was exhausting. After waking up in the morning, he was seized by the powerful urge to go directly to Nagato and press him, get in his face and probe with pointed remark after pointed remark for any signs of weakness. That was what came naturally. He had to take a deep breath and remind himself that Nagato could not be hunted that way. Patience was key. He was allowing himself again to grow and change as a person, develop new skills, blah bitty blah bitty blah. Still, he lashed his tail in frustration. How long is this hunt going to fucking take?!

Although he had been somewhat miffed at first, he was no longer bothered by Yahiko's presence. Yahiko did not seem to be interfering with the hunt in any way. Actually, he might just be helping. With Yahiko around looking and acting so tempting, but not actually available, Nagato was bound to go insane with lust any day now. Just gotta wait and watch. Actually, this part wouldn't be so bad. Hidan enjoyed watching their interactions. Yahiko wasn't bad-looking…

Hidan did go to their room, but with heroic self-restraint, he only leaned against the doorway and asked for updates. Nagato looked wary, but did not react defensively. He outlined the Zetsu situation as he understood it. Hidan smirked. "So he's the only fuckin' one out of a town of people to hate this group, huh? Must have something against Jashin sama. What would happen if I talked to him…"

"Most likely, disaster. Do not attempt it," Nagato replied.

Hidan's tail froze in place. "Now I fucking have to," he said through a widening grin.

"Hidan."

Hidan left the room before he could be reprimanded. As he bounded down the stairs, he thought about how he might be endangering his own hunt. But he couldn't help himself! Someone existed who opposed Jashin sama. As a loyal follower, he must do something about that. Kill the heretic, change their mind, whatever. Either way, his loyalty to Jashin sama outweighed his loyalty to Nagato.

There was only one problem. He did not know where Zetsu was, and he wasn't allowed to entertain himself with killing sprees. If he couldn't entertain himself, then searching was a dull and terrible bore.

He threw open Clone Yahiko's door with a loud clang. The clone, still in the process of waking up, jumped. Hidan ignored him and looked around, spotting two plushy faces peering out at him from the closet. "Which one of those fuckers is the one that went out to find Zetsu?"

"Uh, neither of them," Clone Yahiko replied. "Those are Warlic and Manta. Solis stays in Kisame's room."

Hidan hissed. Clone Yahiko's room was where that other one stayed, the one he treated like a baby. But that doll had been left behind with the masked weirdo and his heretic friend, neither of whom had shown up to give it back. If anyone complained about Hidan's plan to confront Zetsu, he could pass it off as a rescue mission.

Clone Kisame was skeptical. "What the hell do you want to borrow Solis for?"

"I need him to show me where he found Zetsu. Zetsu and that other guy still have one of the dolls with them. Who knows what they're doing to it. I'm gonna rescue it."

"Bullshit," Kisame muttered. "That said, Zetsu reminds me way too fucking much of my past self. I don't like 'em. Make trouble for them with my blessings." He handed over Solis. The doll looked around and wiggled in his hands.

It didn't stop doing so when Hidan took it. He hated the feeling of holding something small and wiggling without immediately sinking claws and teeth into it. Solis set all of his instincts on alert but permitted none of them to express themselves. Working with this damn doll was going to be torture. "Oh, I fucking well plan to. The bastard hates Jashin sama. I won't let that stand!"

Kisame saluted: a strange foreign gesture that seemed to mean something good. Hidan flicked his tail once, then left. Solis stopped wiggling. Hidan kept both hands on the doll all the way out the front door, and continued to do so while running towards town. He didn't intend to ever put Solis down. He saw the doll as nothing more than an annoying compass.

When he reached town, he held the doll out at arm's length and told it, "Show me where you found Zetsu."

Solis didn't do anything. It looked around.

"I said, show me where you found the plant guy, you little bastard."

Solis pointed forward and to the left. Hidan held the doll to his chest again and went that way, following streets and taking corners that would keep him as close to that direction as possible. Solis went nuts in his arms, forcing him to stop and hold it out again. It pointed upwards. He saw that some trees were now visible. Trees. Plants. Of fucking course. He headed for the trees.

Zetsu was not currently there. Some NPCs were, but nobody important. Hidan tsk'ed. So this park is one of the places he hangs out at. If I stake it out, how long am I gonna have to wait before he comes back? I'd rather try to track him, but there's no guarantee I'll be able to keep his scent. I have to wait. Again! Fuck this bullshit. He followed a trail that led deeper into the park, then walked up a tree when nobody was looking and doubled back. He found a perch in a tree that allowed him to see the park's entrance without being terribly visible from it. Then he settled in to wait.

Solis crawled out of his lap and sat nearby. It didn't seem likely to make a nuisance of itself. Perhaps it was a good thing that Hidan had been forced to bring it along. He looked down; the ground was far enough away that people passing below would not hear him speaking. "So. You're the one with a liking for Leader sama, right? The redhead who barely tolerates you? Ha, I'm in the same boat. Let me tell you what I've been trying…"

Zetsu

"I don't know what to do about this…"

The doll with the green circle on its head seemed perfectly happy. It played with a drawer in a desk in the room they had slept in, opening the drawer and crawling inside. It went from drawer to drawer in this manner, sitting in each one like a prairie dog in its hole. "Yahiko likes this one," Obito murmured.

"We'll turn it loose and tell it to find its way home," Black Zetsu said.

"It's small…"

"With magical powers."

Obito rubbed the back of his head. "I don't know what to do."

Black Zetsu sighed. I wish he hadn't left this one with us. Now we need to find a way to return it.

At least it's cute! Look at it, sitting in those empty drawers.

It looks cute, but it comes from that place. Never forget that.

It's really a shame that those people are so weird. They could be nice people, but…

But.

"If it looks homesick, I'll tell it that I don't mind if it goes," Obito decided. After a moment of hesitation, he picked up the doll. He held it fearfully, no doubt afraid that at any moment Tobi would appear. "Breakfast?"

They purchased breakfast in the dining area of the inn. The staff provided an elevated seat for the doll without being asked, which Obito found convenient and Zetsu found frightening. It was hard to eat with a living doll watching them from a baby chair. Zetsu was relieved when they were done. They left the inn. Obito carried the doll out with significantly less fear. "Zetsu?"

"Yeah?"

"Can we do something…different today?"

"Different how?"

"I don't know. I just have a feeling like… Like I want to do something different." Obito shifted the doll from his right arm to his left. "I've never flown a kite before. Something like that?"

Zetsu had flown kites, but could not understand the appeal. The sensation of wind tugging at a part of them, pulling, stretching connective tissues past their capacity, past their ability to hold on to the ground… "Horrible" didn't even begin to describe that sensation. Kite-flying recreated the feeling of undergoing the most painful sort of death it was possible for a plant to experience. Kite-flying was Zetsu's equivalent of playing a game that involved repeatedly poking one's belly with sharp objects to simulate the experience of being disemboweled. They would not ever have suggested this.

It felt like an omen that Obito had. "We can probably find or make a kite," White Zetsu said, struggling to sound cheerful. We're losing him.

Black Zetsu's thoughts trembled with lack of confidence. Maybe we already did. This world… This whole place… It's not meant for us.

Ani, no! We can't give in to that sort of thinking! White Zetsu focused on Obito's joy. He was looking forward to trying a new experience. There was no ominous omen; Obito was simply a human and therefore did not understand why Zetsu did not like flying kites. No omens. Just a difference of species. Just a bit of miscommunication. That was all.

Even so, both halves had to conceal how shaken they were. Although they held no kite, they felt as if they did. They felt that exact same horrible sensation: of losing their attachment to the ground, losing their life. Losing everything.

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A/N: *chef's kiss*