A/N: This chapter's title and theme may or may not have been inspired by the absolutely gorgeous weather in my area right now.
Anyway, this chapter is an experiment! I put more than five seconds of thought into it before writing! Specifically, I made a list of all the characters who have plot arcs, noted which of them have resolved theirs, chose my viewpoint characters from among those who have yet to resolve their personal troubles, and tailored their scenes to address those troubles. No thinking out loud - today is all about relevance.
I like the results. I hope others do too.
.
Clone Hidan
"It's nice to finally have that all figured out. Now that we know who all the Regional Guardians are, we can get down to business."
"Oh yeah? What fucking business is that?"
Clone Hidan and Original Hidan were sitting in a tree. This was only their third conversation since Clone Hidan admitted to his role in his original's banishment. Original Hidan had been rather upset to learn about it. Two days of tracking and chasing were required before Clone Hidan could talk to him again. Relations between them were still rather strained.
"Right now, our business is making the human mayor happy," Clone Hidan replied.
Original Hidan huffed. "And not a damn thing else."
"Yeah, it is kinda quiet around here. Boring. I'm not gonna complain, though, because there's no way it's gonna last."
"There's only one way to make sure of it." Original Hidan swung his scythe.
He's so crabby now. And things were going so well for him before. I really, really, REALLY shouldn't've asked for that experiment. Clone Hidan scratched his head and tried not to wilt from shame. That would not help him to fix his mistake. "I talked with your Nagato, by the way."
Original Hidan growled. "About fucking what?"
"He's willing to shorten the banishment to one week."
"Am I supposed to be grateful?"
"He also asked me to pass a message."
"Fine. Pass away."
Clone Hidan cleared his throat before speaking. "Now that you're not around, he's starting to see how you helped keep him honest. He hated the way you kept poking at things he was trying to ignore, but now he's starting to think it was kinda helpful. He looks forward to your return."
Original Hidan replaced his scythe on his back and swished his tail silently. For a few minutes, there was no sound except the rustling of leaves in the breeze and the soft sound of his tail passing through the air. Then it stopped swishing and curled around the nearest branch. He asked, "Do you know what backwards talk is?"
Clone Hidan detected a vulnerable feeling. This was not the setup to a series of sarcastic barbs, so he answered honestly and straightforwardly. "It's when your words are about other people but you're really talking about yourself, and vice versa."
Original Hidan flicked one ear. "Is it really a bad thing?"
"It is when there's more than one person doing it," Clone Hidan told him. "Why do you think your Nagato always kept criticizing you?"
Original Hidan snorted. "Because I make trouble. Duh."
"Because he felt uncomfortable. And rather than admit to it, he blamed you."
Original Hidan let go of the branch and swished his tail again, frowning. "Yeah. Like I said."
Clone Hidan looked at him. "Have you ever met even a single fucking person who actually liked you for being honest and forcing them to be honest too?"
"Konan," Original Hidan said with a purr. "She always wanted to be a tigress. She just needed an excuse."
"Aside from her."
"Nope."
"I fucking thought so."
"You're not gonna try to tell me that everything I do now is just a result of my childhood pain, are you? Because I hate that shit."
"Consequences are things," Clone Hidan snapped back. "You don't get to pretend that you don't have a past."
Original Hidan fell silent again. That was just as well; Clone Hidan was too riled up to say anything constructive. Another few minutes of silence was just what the doctor ordered.
"Why'd One Eye stick up for me?" Original Hidan asked.
"Personal reasons," Clone Hidan replied. "He's felt weird ever since. It's something that makes my hair stand on end. A sort of shaky feeling, but way deep down in my mind, in the center of me. I think that seeing you punished did something to him."
"So he was just defending his own self? Figures."
Clone Hidan shot him a look. "Your punishment did something to him. He cared. You mattered. Fuck, you are so fucking oblivious that it fucking hurts sometimes."
"And why the fuck not?" Original Hidan snapped back. "Everybody else gets to be. Moonshine gets to be. Why am I the one who gets blamed for everyone else's sins?"
"Because you're the one who's supposed to be better!"
Original Hidan went totally still. He looked at his clone with a facial expression that was unreadable, even to the Sharingan. But Clone Hidan did not need to read faces. He read his own feelings and interpreted them as stunned disbelief. His original had never heard such a claim before.
"Back in your world, people blamed you for their own sins because they were fucking bitter-hearted cowards," Clone Hidan explained. "In this world, it's because they had two months of knowing me. I don't get the luxury of being oblivious. I don't get the luxury of living my life like a lazy coward. I have to be better, so I am. And then you get raised from the dead, and you are exactly like me except that you have a choice. Everybody sees you being oblivious and blaming everyone else for your problems and they think, 'Wow, that's the choice he made?'"
"Fuck you."
"Fuck you right back."
"I am nothing like that! I am fucking amazing."
"Then why did you tell me that your Nagato was right to hate you because, and I quote, 'you make trouble'?"
Original Hidan touched the handle of his scythe but did not pull it off his back. He growled. "You…"
"This way you're feeling?" Clone Hidan said, waving his hand in a circle. "That's how your Nagato's been feeling about you this whole time. Take a nice, deep look at it and get some understanding." He jumped down from the tree before his original could reply. I hope he listens. If he doesn't listen, if he doesn't grow the fuck up, then getting banished is going to become a regular thing for him. Stopping that from happening is how I can make things right.
The conversation might have been over, but Clone Hidan didn't feel like un-banishing himself just yet. He made his way to the nearest road and followed it to the outskirts of town. He mentally calculated that he was not far from Kakuzu's house, but did not go there. He sat on a sidewalk with his back against a hedge, scythe on the ground beside him, arms wrapped around his knees, looking and feeling totally lost.
A long time passed. He saw a couple of rogue cats on the prowl. That was not surprising; it was early summer, the world was bursting with life, and prey animals were out and about. On the outskirts of town, with houses full of sugar and other artificial foods nearby, it would have been strange if local mice were not scuttling around. Hidan caught a whiff, but had little appetite, so he did not pursue it.
Someone else did. The mouse squeaked as its attempt to leave the cover of the hedge proved to be a mistake. It rustled the grass quite a lot, but without gaining any distance, and finally stopped on its own though it was not attacked again. Hidan's ears perked up. Venom! It was caught by a snake. That must mean…
The snakelike toddler walked over and sat next to Hidan's left arm, contentedly chewing on the dead mouse. He carried his ever-present stuffed toy snake, though bits of dead grass indicated that the toy had been put down at some point. Hidan reached over and combed them out with his fingers. "Hey, kid. It's been a while."
The boy looked up. He was well-fed and healthy, which implied that he was being well looked-after, too. Yet, as it always had before, his presence made Hidan feel subdued and uncertain. Lost. The way Hidan had felt just a little while ago. It's not coincidence that he showed up, is it?
Hidan put his arm around the boy, who snuggled closer. "What the fuck are you?" he wondered aloud. The boy yawned, dropping his mouse onto Hidan's lap. He picked it up again, chewed a little, and finally swallowed it. Then he fell asleep.
Maybe I was wrong. Maybe teaching Other Me a lesson isn't what I need to do to make things right. Banishment is so much better when you're not alone. Clone Hidan looked back the way he had come, but recognized that today was not the day to try again. His original had a lot of anger to get over and he couldn't leave the sleeping toddler. Tomorrow. Next time I see him, I won't say anything at all. I'll just stay by him.
Tobi
Tobi felt excited and ready for adventure. It was a good day.
"I'm not a flying taxi service," the blonde person with the ponytail said.
"Pleeeeeaaaaase?"
"I might not mind being a flying rollercoaster, though." Deidara smiled and made his owl lower its head. Tobi internally cheered. My voice is the most powerful magic ever!
They flew in loop-de-loops, circles, barrel rolls and other fun patterns. Tobi laughed and shrieked, sometimes scared and sometimes dizzy, but always having fun. I like flying! I like flying! When they landed, Tobi envisioned the stables outside the castle and thought, Yes, there's room in there for another mount. I just need to find and tame a very small dragon.
"Yeah, you're different, hm," Deidara said. "You're the only group member who's younger than me. I don't need to practice asserting myself with you, hm. You can ask me for anything."
"Can you make a clay dragon?"
"I probably could, yeah, but where would I keep it? I wouldn't want to leave it out in the rain."
"I couldn't take it with me to the stables," Tobi murmured sadly. "I'll have to find my own dragon."
Deidara rubbed his chin. "What kind of dragon?"
"Hmm… I want it to fly. I want it to run, too, like my horseys. I want it to be friendly and loyal and nice. I guess it would be nice if it could breathe fire to protect me."
"Follow me, hm." Deidara led Tobi inside to a bedroom near the front of the building, close to the kitchen door. Inside, a laptop sat on a small table next to the bed. Deidara opened it and pressed buttons. Pictures of dragons filled the screen. They all stood on two legs with arms that were also wings. "These are wyverns. Maybe you'd like a wyvern?"
Tobi had him scroll down the page slowly. Most of the wyvern pictures looked similar to other sorts of dragons. But then, Tobi saw two pictures that showed wyverns with very long legs. Immediately, Tobi imagined riding on such a creature's back while it ran. A wyvern like that would surely be able to run very fast. Tobi imagined the dragon running to the edge of a cliff, leaping off, spreading its wings and flying. Or, at that speed, it could spread its wings while running and soar into the air on the power of the breeze. "Yes! Yes, I want a dragon exactly like that!"
"Deinonychus with wings. Got it."
"What's a Deinonychus?"
Deidara typed the word into the search bar. Pictures of a giant bird, or maybe it was a lizard, appeared. It had long legs and a long tail and looked an awful lot like the wyvern picture Tobi had pointed to. Many of the pictures showed it either running or preparing to. But then, Tobi saw one picture that showed the Deinonychus next to a human. "That's too small."
"Obviously your dragon would have to be bigger, yeah. But, you know…"
"Yes, able to run fast just like this! I don't think I want it to have feathers, though. And it should have horns that I can hold onto. And blue eyes. And it's red. A really dark red, like stones. No, green eyes! And its fire breath is white!"
Deidara laughed and closed the laptop. "Have fun with it, yeah!"
Tobi ran out of the room and into the front yard, where Zetsu was photosynthesizing. "Zetsuuuuuu! Sing me the sleepy song! I'm going to tame a dragon!"
Both halves of Zetsu jerked. "You're going to what a dragon?" White Zetsu asked.
"Tame it! I'm going to make it my friend and ride it and go on adventures with it!"
Black Zetsu's eye was wide with shock. "How the hell would you -"
White Zetsu flicked him. "Ani!" To Tobi, he said, "Sounds nice. Good luck!" Tobi lay down. White Zetsu insisted that Tobi stop wriggling, which was hard to do. My very own dragon! Eventually, when Tobi lay still enough, White Zetsu sang the sleepy song. Even though Tobi was very excited, sleep came quickly. But it only lasted for the blink of an eye - in no time at all, Tobi was standing just outside the stables.
The first thing Tobi did was clean out the stables to make room for the dragon. Chestnut whinnied curiously. Tobi told her, "You're gonna get a new friend! It's gonna be a wyvern dragon! Don't worry, I'll teach it not to breathe fire at the straw." Cleaning up the stables was very easy. After opening the doors and singing to summon the wind, loose straw and dust were swept off the floor, leaving it sparkling. Tobi then left the stables, opened the castle door and followed a random route to a room that Tobi decided was the castle kitchen. The cook, who was friendly and therefore looked a lot like Yahiko, gave Tobi a big, juicy steak and a bag to put it in. Tobi took the bag back to the stables and opened Chestnut's door. "Let's go find it!" Chestnut whinnied happily, because she was the most loyal steed and therefore could not be anything but happy about Tobi's plans. In no time at all, Tobi was riding out into the forest in search of a dragon.
Zetsu
It was impossible to photosynthesize after that. While they waited for some other personality to take control, White Zetsu kept on a pleasant face. Internally, though, he was flipping out. She wants to tame Madara now?! I thought they never interacted! She's never said anything about actually confronting the dragon!
Whatever we do, let's NOT tell Madara.
Agreed!
Obito groaned and sat up. He checked himself, then looked around. "Oh. Hi, Zetsu."
"Tobi has exciting plans to decorate the horse stables," White Zetsu said with a smile.
"Oh?" Obito tilted his head. He seemed to be thinking. About what, neither half of Zetsu could guess. Obito shook his head and stood up. "Well, it's a nice day. I can see why Tobi thought about working in the stables. Maybe I'll fly my kite." He went inside.
Is it just me, or does that look familiar? That pausing to think. He hasn't done that for a long time, but didn't he use to?
When he was younger. When we first started taking care of him, Black Zetsu remembered. He couldn't answer questions immediately, even basic ones like whether or not he was hungry. He always had to sort out some internal confusion first.
White Zetsu shivered. Internal confusion. I guess that makes sense. But something about the way he pauses sends shivers up my spine. It's like it reminds me of something, but I can't remember what.
Neither can I, Black Zetsu thought. Something about it is familiar, but what? Familiar how?
They put on their clothes and wondered what to do with their day. After much internal debate, they decided to seek more information. Only Zetsu could possibly identify what Obito's strange behavior reminded them of. Nobody else could do it, so they were perfectly within their rights, nay, obligated to take action.
They decided to seek out Konan and Itachi, who were sure to have noticed everything there was to notice. But the first person they ran into was Deidara. Rather, Deidara ran into them. "Hey guys!" he said with a broad smile. "Has Tobi told you about taming dragons?"
"Uh, yeah," White Zetsu replied, surprised that Deidara would know anything about it. Uh oh. It's gonna be hard to keep it secret from Madara if other people know.
Why is he smiling so damn much?
"I helped," Deidara said proudly. "I asked Tobi what kind of dragon he wanted. He told me he wanted one that could run and breathe fire, so I showed him pictures of wyverns and helped him design it. Now he can catch one in that imaginary forest he has, yeah!"
Oh. Tobi wants to tame A dragon, but not THE dragon? Whew! That's a relief! "Thanks," White Zetsu chirped. "Ani and I don't know anything about dragons."
Deidara shrugged. "That's what Google is for, yeah."
"We don't know much about technology either."
"That's what Sasori's laptop is for." The three of them shared a laugh. Then Deidara moved on, freeing Zetsu to pursue their original line of inquiry. Both halves of Zetsu walked on feeling much lighter than they had before.
Itachi was not home, so the only person they could talk to was Konan. She and her two friends were supposedly keeping lookout from the roof, but Zetsu didn't think that lookouts carried multiple sandwiches per person, a full teapot and cups. Konan smiled and welcomed them in. "Feel that breeze!" Original Yahiko told them. He wore a short-sleeved shirt, his cloak folded and placed in a corner. Original Nagato had likewise removed his black cloak. The only person who still wore it was Konan.
Zetsu opened their flytrap leaves as far as they could. "Yeah, it is nice up here!" White Zetsu commented. "This roof is a good spot." We should try photosynthesizing up here.
We have more important things to think about. But yes, we should. Black Zetsu asked, "Have you noticed the way that Obito pauses to think sometimes?"
Konan tilted her head. "Yes. He did not do that before. Ever since Hidan's banishment, he's had a lot on his mind, it seems."
"It reminds us of something," White Zetsu said. "He used to do that years ago, when he was younger. Back then, he paused like that whenever he was asked a question. He was too confused inside to answer anything easily."
"Hm," Konan replied. "That makes sense."
"Why, did you think it meant something else?"
Original Nagato looked at them closely. Original Yahiko pretended to be busy enjoying his tea, but he glanced at Zetsu frequently. Konan, too, obviously knew that they were after something. She did not ask what. "I thought it reminiscent of Madara's typical behavior."
Zetsu gave that some thought. I can see it. Madara does tend to hold still and watch things carefully before he speaks. But imagining him doing it doesn't send shivers down my back.
Me neither. Madara's gaze is always focused on something or someone. Obito acts more like he's forgetting where he is, drifting away from reality. It's completely different. Black Zetsu repeated this aloud for Konan's benefit.
Konan frowned. "I have experienced something like that myself. Coming untethered from reality for brief moments. Hm."
"Is it a sign of something bad?" Original Yahiko asked.
"It is a sign of deep inner disturbance," Konan replied. "For someone in Obito's condition, who knows what that means. Clone Hidan would know more. He could tell you what Obito actually felt like inside in those moments."
"Can you call him for us?"
Konan did so and set her phone to speaker. Clone Hidan picked up. "Yo."
"Hidan, Zetsu wishes to speak with you." Konan passed her phone over. Zetsu gestured beyond the rooftop. She nodded. They took her phone away.
The front lawn was still deserted, so Zetsu sat down facing the front door. They pressed the speakerphone button to turn it off. Black Zetsu held the device up to his ear. "We've been noticing a new tic that Obito's developed. We want your input as to whether or not it's dangerous."
Clone Hidan audibly shivered. "I don't know what tic you're talking about, but I do know that being around him lately feels weird. It sends shivers down my back. But I've been busy with other shit, so I haven't investigated very much. All I know is that it's probably a bad idea to put any kind of pressure on him. If you're worried, I can find out more later."
"That would be helpful. Thank you," Black Zetsu said before pressing the red button to end the call. He gets shivers down his back, too. It can't be coincidence. We're probably not just worrying over nothing.
What do we do until Clone Hidan gets back?
I suppose all that we can do is… Go back up to the roof and enjoy the breeze. It is a beautiful day, after all.
.
A/N: What's going on with Obito? Are Zetsu's halves right to be concerned? Find out... Eventually.
All but two of the characters with incomplete arcs appeared this chapter (Clone Nagato and Itachi did not appear). Conversely, only one character with a resolved arc made an appearance (Konan). In other words, this chapter managed to focus almost entirely on the characters who need attention. Yahoo!
Poor Itachi, though. I forgot to put him on the list until just now. Yes, that means he remained forgotten even after I described his whereabouts. His personal struggle: "feeling connected to the rest of the group." Clearly.
Let's see how this keeps on working out.