(A/N): I wrote this chapter while pet sitting for my sister, and rewatching Vixella and the Super Cooper episode where they let the dogs try all the different fruits. It's 1,300 words, so it's not short exactly, but it is a little short in relation to some of the chapters around it. There's some backstory for Lisbet, and about the early days of Lisbet and Jerremyah's relationship. It's also has a bit of foreshadowing.

Jerremyah

Seeing Lisbet again for the first time in nearly a decade made something in my chest ache. Most people would probably attribute such a pain to their heart, but since I had been told so many times that I didn't have one, clearly it couldn't be the cause.

We still needed to discuss what I had done to finally push her over the edge- after three hundred years together- but at least we had gotten most of her history with Leo out of the way. I say most, because even without Lisbet warning me that she wouldn't say anything that would betray anyone's trust, I knew there was no way she had told me everything. The rest of the clan didn't trust me- a wise decision, even if I didn't have issues managing my impulses the way I did. It would be foolish to trust a strange new vampire, even one that had agreed to join your clan, and the fact that they weren't taking chances reassured me that maybe this wasn't the worst choice of clan to join- although Leo had been right, and my decision ultimately pivoted on Lisbet's presence.

Lisbet had said, when she had been offering Leo to me as a teacher, that she knew how much I hated the fact that I had never fully felt in control of myself- of my own body- but she was wrong. Sure, Lisbet knew me better than anyone- sometimes, I even thought she might know me better than I knew myself- and she was the second most observant person I had ever met- but I had always tried to hide my visceral disgust at my fatal flaw from her as much as possible.

Lisbet had changed a lot since I had first met her- going from an incredibly bright, but naive novitiate to a true force of nature- but she had always been one thing, at least in my eyes.

My mate.

I hadn't known what the pull I felt towards her was when I had first met her, and it had taken her almost being executed for me to realise that I couldn't live without her- hence why I had given in, and let her persuade me to turn her- with help, of course.

There are very few people that I trust, and only one that I would completely trust with Lisbet's wellbeing- especially when the thing threatening her wellbeing, was me. I had suggested that I shouldn't be the one to do it- it would have taken all of my- admittedly shaky- self control to reign in my jealousy in the moment, not to mention how I undoubtedly would have struggled over the years with the fact that Lisbet was connected to someone else the same way we were connected now- with me being her sire- but I would have let it happen, if I'd been able to convince her.

In the beginning, that's the only connection I had felt I could lay claim to. There had always been... tension, though I'm sure she would have denied such a thing vehemently at the time. Not only was that the way things worked in the era we had been living in, but the setting was... less than ideal. Even if she had been willing to have me- though, I suppose 'eager to have me' would be more accurate, since I suspect she would have accepted me had I actually put any real effort into seducing her- I wouldn't have taken advantage of her like that. Not only was I in a position of power at the time- or, pretending to be in a position of power, anyway- but I had never thought that starting a relationship with someone was a good idea when they didn't know that you came with a horrifying set of fangs and the self control of a hangry polar bear.

And I had known from the very beginning that there was no 'casual' option for Lisbet and I- that lever had never been connected to anything, no matter how many times we tried to pull it. Not that I had ever really been the one trying to change the dynamic of our relationship- I hadn't started a relationship because I knew there was no casual option, but once we had accepted that- or at least, I thought we had- I had been all in. We had been together for over three hundred years- with a few short breaks whenever I had done something that had made Lisbet need some time away from me- but even when we were apart, we were together, and I had never questioned that she would come back.

Not until this last time. Not until she had told me she never wanted to speak to me again. Not until I could tell she meant it- or at least thought she meant it.

Not that a lot of things in our relationship required speaking- communication, yes, but not speaking out loud- but talking to Lisbet had always been one of my favorite activities. If I could only do one thing with her for the rest of our- undead- lives, it would be talking.

I suppose that was a good thing, considering that was all we were doing now that she had agreed to allow us to be reunited- though I had nearly ruined it before I had ever even seen her again, by openly displaying my prejudices when I had met Leo for the first time almost a year and a half ago.

Did I actually care that Leo was only half vampire? No. But Nicholai and I had always had a contemptuous relationship- although, all of the contempt came from my side. I admit that I had always been envious of Nicholai's staunch self control, and the fact that he had been one of the main people helping Lisbet find surrogate sires for my people- the people I had accidentally turned- only made me more bitter towards him.

Pride was a funny thing, and though I didn't have much reason to be, I was unfortunately a proud fool at heart- Lisbet had always told me as much.

Did Leo deserve to be treated like shit, just because I had a complicated relationship with Nicholai? Hell no, but I think we've already established that my impulse control is trash. Pure, hot garbage, in fact.

Finding out that being rude to someone hurt Lisbet was a surefire way to guarantee that I would stop, and finding out that Lisbet considered Leo her... nephew- she had refused to call him her son, or herself his mother, even in the surrogate sense- was a surefire way to make me sit up and pay attention.

I had always wanted to raise a child, but I had never been particularly fussed about having a child- don't get me wrong, I'm sure making kids with Lisbet would be very fun, but that had never been an option for us. By the time children with Lisbet specifically had been on my mind- as more than a passing fancy, anyway- she had been a vampire for a few years at that point, and while male vampires could produce offspring- Leo himself was evidence of that, not to mention Hercules, and Nicholai's various other children- female vampires could not support life other than their own.

And even if Lisbet had been fine with it, the idea of intentionally fathering a child even with a willing human woman repulsed me. Not because she would be human, or because the child would be a half-breed, but because it wasn't Lisbet. Whether the child was biologically ours didn't matter to me- although the idea of a child that was half Lisbet held an incredible appeal, even if the other half wasn't me- the only thing that mattered was that we were together every step of the way.

And I was looking forward to the opportunity to earn my place back by Lisbet's side.

(A/N): Jerremyah: 'I am trash, and so is my self control, but I still think I'm better than you.'

Lisbet: 'He may be trash, but he's my trash.'

Also, when the term 'Hangry' was first used is apparently up for debate. One place said 1992 in a short story, another said 1956 in a psychoanalytical journal, and Merriam Webster says 1918, so I don't know who to believe. For the sake of the story, I'm saying since it's a really easy mesh of two common words, I'm going to say it was one of the earlier two options.

I was between two names for this chapter- the one I went with, 'Every Step Of The Way', and 'All In'. I was already leaning towards 'Every Step Of The Way', but I got a second opinion from my sister, and she agreed that 'Every Step Of The Way' was the better choice.