Thank you to everybody who read or reviewed the last chapter; you are all so wonderful. Tony really does need to text message Laura. However, that was not just an excuse to stop going through the questions for a moment. They will finish the rest of the questions in the next section. I promise.
Conversation 37: One step at a time
Tony Potts: So, I just found out Steve accidentally exposed himself to all the world because he tried to sext me while high on edibles.
Tony Potts: Which just a month ago would've completely shocked me, but Steve Rogers has never been a Boy Scout. Especially with all the homophobia.
Tony Potts: I also just told him that I figured out that I was not that heterosexual masturbating to his propaganda poster. Remarkably Steve didn't freak out at all. Although he might still be blushing, and it's been 45 minutes and a stop for drinks.
Counselor Laura: OK, now I have to ask you if you had any edibles or picked up any drinks of the alcoholic variety. I know my Tony won't even do NyQuil. Actually, he's even skeptical of any pain medication higher than Tylenol. He won't even think about taking the version with codeine.
Tony Potts: It's an opiate, and we had some problems with the opiate family after our parents died. Which may have led to that fucking sex tape with Tiberius. NyQuil contains our drug of choice, so that is definitely out.
Counselor Laura: I'm aware of the tape and the dark times that led to it. It made a comeback when my Tony "came out." Not that he's actually ever been in the closet since that tape came out but apparently, "no bisexuals" is a thing. Whenever a reporter says something about my Tony waiting so long to come out, he tells them to Google the sex tape.
Tony Potts: I look forward to dealing with that if I ever get a boyfriend.
Counselor Laura: My fingers are crossed that you'll actually get a boyfriend. Potentially Steve, especially if he tried to send you sexually explicit text messages while high.
Tony Potts: But somehow gets Stark messaging and Instagram confused. This honestly makes me grateful that I did not go through my worst drug usage during the age of social media.
Tony Potts: I'm still sober, which is a miracle in itself because I really want a fucking drink right now. Honestly, I wanted one for the last week and a half. Yet while we were at the quick stop, I just got a giant espresso.
Counselor Laura: Do you need a meeting?
Tony Potts: This is my meeting. I would call my sponsor, but he's probably busy with Pepper right now. So, I decided to call other Tony's sponsor instead.
Counselor Laura: I'm here if you need me.
Tony Potts: We're doing the 36 questions. For a pop psychology New York Times icebreaker activity, this thing has been getting a little deep. I need someone else to talk some of this out with. I should probably call my therapist but haven't called her in about three years, so I probably need a new one. And my sponsor is working right now.
Counselor Laura: What question resulted in you revealing that you used his propaganda poster for personal time? I'm currently texting while we're driving to meet up with our potential new therapist over coffee. I hope I am successful.
Tony Potts: 29
Counselor Laura: OK, now I'm actually going to look up what other Tony said.
Tony Potts: I don't want to know. Me and Stevie bear decided that we have a bunch of other bullshit to deal with outside of just Siberia. Therefore our answers would probably be different than theirs. It was seven years later with a couple of failed relationships and a few kids between us. We're not entirely the same people.
Counselor Laura: Yet occasionally, some moments tell me you are the same people deep down. My Tony also confessed about the poster as well as Howard walking in on him.
Tony Potts: That's right. Me and other Tony would have shared that trauma since it happened before the dividing point.
Counselor Laura: Although Steve's obviously happens after the dividing point, which means the answer was different. My Steve won't sext Tony at all.
Tony Potts: I feel like there's a story there that may be in the vein of accidentally posting a picture of your dick on Instagram.
Counselor Laura: So other Tony did not trust Ross one little bit. He covered up your communication with Steve by having Friday cover up the messages with essentially porn.
Tony Potts: I would do that.
Counselor Laura: Steve was a little upset about that. Especially because Sharon ended up reading those messages as part of her punishment after you managed to get her back in the good graces of the US government. So Steve will never ever give other you the real thing.
Tony Potts: I feel like there are other reasons.
Counselor Laura: And he knew how traumatized you were by what Tiberius did and didn't want any of your personal messages to be used like that against you.
Tony Potts: Did Steve of the good timeline ever tell my other self that?
Counselor Laura: Actually, I don't know. There's no version of Steve Rogers in the multi-verse that is 100% perfect at sharing his feelings. They're trying, but they're not perfect.
Tony Potts: That feels oddly reassuring.
Counselor Laura: So, do you feel less like taking a drink now?
Tony Potts: A little. May and Steve are getting a divorce. They say it will happen when we undo everything. I think it's going to end regardless, even if we fail miserably. There's this little part of me that is happy about Steve being single. I feel awful that May's giving me the green light to climb her soon-to-be ex-husband like a tree.
Tony Potts: Actually, she already did that when she sent him here with me with lube, toys, and condoms.
Counselor Laura: Melinda May has always been direct. From what I gathered, they needed each other after the snap and Phil dying. But maybe they're ready to move forward without being co-dependent on one another. I also think May wants him to at least be happy. Perhaps she thinks Steve will be happy with you.
Tony Potts: If we bring back their dead friends and children, it'll be a little easier even if we're going to bring 1 trillion other complications.
Tony Potts: I'm trying to stay sober, so I'm not even going to touch your comment about Steve being happy with me.
Counselor Laura: Everything worth doing is complicated.
Tony Potts: That is very true. Steve Rogers is very complicated. But maybe if one version of me figured it out, I can too.
Counselor Laura: You might have more things to work through than who I'll just call Tony 2018, but I know you. You don't believe in the impossible. You'll work through it.
Tony Potts: Probably with professional help. Do we have professional help yet?
Counselor Laura: We just parked, and I'm still amazed that there is parking in Manhattan.
Tony Potts: That's what happens when you lose half your population. There's been a lot of immigration from other countries, but there's still a lot of space in Manhattan.
Counselor Laura: However, I'm very good at texting and carrying on a conversation, so feel free to keep texting me.
Tony Potts: OK. Can I ask some questions about us in the other timeline?
Counselor Laura: I thought you didn't want to know?
Tony Potts: I don't want to know exactly what Steve told other me because I want this Steve to tell me those things. I don't want to cheat. I want him to trust me enough to open up.
Counselor Laura: Fair.
Tony Potts: Also, I really don't want another revelation like finding out Aunt Ana was killed by Hydra. Along with Daniel getting killed by Hydra. Because Hydra killed everybody in my fucking family. They even got Aunt Peggy in the end.
Counselor Laura: This is going to lead to you really wanting a drink again?
Tony Potts: Possibly, but I feel like Steve won't let me. He actually stayed close to me in the one-stop when I may have started going a little too close to the little bottles of wine.
Counselor Laura: He won't. I think this Steve wants to support you as much as the other Steve supports my Tony.
Tony Potts: So, did other Steve ever figure out he can take edibles?
Counselor Laura: I don't know if Steve 2018 ever tried because it could interact with his antidepressants. His body is not baseline.
Tony Potts: That's true. Although the fact that Captain America is on antidepressants makes me feel happy in a weird way.
Counselor Laura: Probably because of years of Howard telling you that you could never be as good as Steve.
Tony Potts: Only when he was really drunk. Which is another reason why I need to not pick up the bottle even though it's tempting. I don't want to be Howard.
Counselor Laura: You're not your father.
Tony Potts: Maybe not. I could totally screw up in new ways.
Tony Potts: Are you with the doctor yet?
Tony Potts: Is that why you haven't texted me in like 15 minutes. I might have to talk to Steve again.
Tony Potts: OK, I just decided to look at the notes on superhero antidepressants and other medications. I am deeply regretting that I never got to meet the Princess. We have to fix that.
Counselor Laura: You'll get to talk to her when the window opens tomorrow.
Tony Potts: I'm looking forward to it. I have a whole list of questions.
Counselor Laura: Actually, you should write those down now, and then Friday can push them through when the window opens.
Tony Potts: Good idea.
Tony Potts: So, do we have a therapist?
Counselor Laura: She's going to help us. Thankfully, she's not teaching actual classes this semester.
Counselor Laura: She also feels fixing the universe is more important. This is what happens when you're ex shield.
Tony Potts: The saving the world thing never really goes away.
Counselor Laura: Not at all.
To be continued…