The short stroll to the little café down the street was filled by a comfortable silence.
He pondered the moment: usually, by now, he would be desperately trying to fill the void with incessant rambling or a string of witty remarks - anything to fill the silence. But with her, with Kate, he didn't feel the need. Her presence alone was comforting enough; he didn't need anything more.
"Have you been here before?" he asked as he held the door open for her to enter.
She smiled her thanks and they headed for the first available table.
"I haven't, actually."
"This place is one of my favourites," he gushed. He pulled out a chair for her. "Every week they do Freaky Friday, where they have a pastry or dessert of the day that's just some random, odd food combination. Last time I was here it was chocolate and potato chip muffins," he added as he sat across from her.
She laughed. "That sounds gross."
"It does. I was sceptical at first, too, but believe me when I tell you it was life-changing. The sweet and the salty-" He brought his fingers and thumb to his lips and kissed them in a theatrical gesture. "Perfection."
She shook her head, but her smile remained. "I might just take your word on that one."
"Your loss." He shrugged.
He passed her the drink menu - already knowing what he was planning on ordering for himself - and waited as she browsed the selections.
He took the opportunity to study her face: the dark rim of her hazel irises, the fine lines by her mouth that were barely visible until she smiled, the way her brow furrowed as she concentrated. He was smiling like an idiot; he knew it, but he couldn't stop. He still couldn't believe that she had sought him out and waited for him to schmooze a crowd so that she could be alone with him.
It may be corny, but he felt like he had won the lottery.
Her eyes slowly lifted from the menu, darting back down the instant she realised she had been 'busted' trying to catch a secret glimpse of his face.
He found her shyness endearing.
Her gaze lifted again, but this time she didn't look away.
"Do I have something on my face?" She laughed, but the gentle brush of her fingertips against her cheek told him she was feeling a little self-conscious.
"No," he assured her. "It's just nice to see you again. I didn't think I would get the chance."
Her eyes dropped back to the menu, avoiding his.
He hadn't meant to make her uncomfortable. In fact, that was the last thing he wanted. He opened his mouth, intent on apologising, but she spoke first.
"I'm sorry that I left without saying goodbye," she said softly.
"Yeah, that kinda sucked." He shrugged. "But, I mean, you made it pretty clear from the start that you weren't interested in anything... more."
She looked up at him. "I was trying to prove something to myself, I guess."
"Oh yeah? What were you trying to prove?"
"It's not important. I don't want to bore you." She laughed; an attempt to lighten the mood.
"I don't think you could bore me if you tried," he assured her.
"I thought we were here to discuss all your deep, dark secrets," she said playfully; deflecting.
"I'll tell you my secrets if you tell me yours," he shot back, waggling his brows.
He could see it in her eyes: she was considering his counter-offer, and he hoped that her curiosity would override her need to stay guarded.
She smiled. "You first."
"Oh, come on. You've already met both my ex-wives. Doesn't that grant me one teeny, tiny little secret first?"
She shook her head and leant back in her chair.
"I want a big one," she said with a smile. "If you've ever killed a man, here's your chance to get it off your chest."
"Ah, sorry to disappoint but my bad boy reputation doesn't extend to homicide."
She hummed. "There's hope for you yet."
"Really? That's where the bar is: not a murderer?"
She laughed heartily. "My standards are a little higher than that but it helps."
"I'll keep that in mind," he noted.
"Stop procrastinating!" She leant forward, ready to hear his confessions. "You're not getting out of this."
She could read him like the morning paper, not at all fooled by banter and a charming smile.
He liked that.
So - in the spirit of getting to know each other, really getting to know each other - he decided to start with the big one.
"You remember Meredith, right?"
She narrowed her eyes and tapped her finger to her chin as if deep in thought.
"Red hair, about this tall-" She gestured with her hand around eye-level. "Doesn't know a damn thing about me but thinks I'm beneath you? Mass market, I believe the term was."
He grimaced. "Yeah, that's the one."
"I think I remember her... vaguely."
He took a deep breath and prepared to rip off the band-aid.
"Well, we have a daughter."
"Oh." All playful drained from face but she recovered quickly, forcing the smile back to her face. "Wh- uh, what's her name?"
"Alexis," he provided hesitantly. "She's seventeen."
"Wow."
He watched her throat bob as she swallowed, her eyes searching the table as if it would tell her how to appropriately respond.
"I, uh- I didn't imagine you as a dad, if I'm being honest." She chuckled nervously.
"Yeah, I find a lot of people are surprised when they find out. I try not to be too offended by that."
Her laugh relaxed - less nervous, more genuinely amused - and the sound flooded his body with relief: she didn't seem to be writing him off completely.
"Your turn," he said, keen to move past his own complications and onto hers. Even the playing field, even if only slightly. "Unload your baggage. I bet you can't beat two ex-wives and a teenage daughter," he joked.
"Uh, no." She chuckled to herself. "Not quite."
"You were saying that you were trying to prove something to yourself," he prompted.
She sighed. "You remember Lanie?" she asked, mirroring his question before.
"Yes." He smiled. "I liked Lanie."
"She liked you too, apparently. She was very much the driving force behind... what happened."
"Remind me to thank her," he quipped, earning him a playful eye roll.
"As we have already discussed, I don't do that very often. Not that I have anything against it, of course, I just... I work a lot and I'm very much a homebody so I don't go out, I don't meet new people... the opportunity just doesn't present itself, you know?"
He smiled at her nervous rambling, found it... cute.
"The few times I have gone home with someone, it's always turned into something more."
"So, what? You wanted to prove that you could... hit it and quit it?" he asked, chuckling.
She smiled and shook her head. "I was trying to find a slightly more tasteful way of putting it, but yeah."
"So this-" He waved his hand back and forth between them. "Is ruining that?"
"Yeah, kinda."
"So, may I ask: why are you here?"
She didn't respond, just looked into his eyes with an unnerving intensity.
After several seconds she broke away, eyes dropping to her lap where she tugged the hem of her shirt over her lap.
"Leaving felt like a mistake," she admitted.
The confession - the acknowledgement that this wasn't completely one-sided - had him soaring.
Unfortunately (or maybe fortunately) before his eager heart could take the inch she had given and run a mile with it, a waitress approached to take their order.
The interruption was only short, but it allowed him time to settle the flurry of butterflies in his stomach.
As the waitress walked away, he started where they had left off.
"Tell me, why exactly is 'more' a bad thing?"
"It's not the more that's bad, it's... the timing."
Oh, he recognised that tone. The hesitation, the careful skirting of certain details - this was messy break up territory.
"How long were you together?" he asked confident in his assumption.
Something flickered behind her eyes. Surprise, that he knew? Anger, because he - a stranger - dared to pry? Relief, for he seemed to understand?
Her shoulders slumped and she exhaled slowly. "Almost a year and a half."
"Why'd it end?"
The words tumbled from his mouth before his better judgement had the chance to stop them. He knew he had overstepped: the way her jaw dropped and she just stared at him, stunned by the audacity.
Apologise, his mind urged, but he was frozen.
"Why'd you and Meredith end?" she bit back.
He knew it was rhetorical, that she wasn't expecting an actual answer but - once again - the words slipped out of their own accord.
"She cheated on me."
Hers eyes locked to his, apologetic and... understanding.
And suddenly he felt sick to his stomach.
Had this been her situation, too? Had someone really been lucky enough to have won her over, been given the opportunity to love and cherish her for any period of time only to be a fool and throw it all away: breaking her heart and shattering her trust in the process?
"I'm sorry," she said softly.
"Don't be. There had always been... issues," he assured her. "We stuck it out for Alexis but all we ever did was fight."
She nodded and listened intently as he spoke.
"Really, we were both just too scared of moving on. It sucked, but, it gave me the push I needed to actually walk away. And we're both better for it: Alexis, too."
She stayed quiet as she processed his words.
He waited, patiently, hoping his openness would encourage her to follow suit, not scare her away.
"His name was Adam." She started her confession quietly, reluctantly. "We met through Lanie. She was going on a date with someone she had met online and she was very nervous so they did the whole you bring a friend and I'll bring a friend thing."
"Adam was the friend?" he surmised.
"Yeah." A faint smile pulled at the corners of her mouth. "Lanie's date was horrible from the very start but she suffered through because..."
"You clicked," he provided for her after her words trailed off.
She nodded, but her smile faded and sadness washed over her face.
"Two weeks ago his ex-wife showed up on the doorstep while he was at work."
Rick's stomach flipped: suddenly Kate's reaction toward Meredith made so much sense.
"She had printed off a bunch of emails he had sent her. They had been talking for weeks - months, maybe - talking about how much they missed each other, that they still loved each other and wanted to give their relationship another chance."
She stopped, dropped her eyes to the table and swallowed hard , trying to rid her expression of the emotion she so obviously felt.
"Ouch," he muttered.
Her eyes darted back up to his and an amused huff of air - that could have maybe been a laugh if this situations wasn't so cold - escaped her.
"Yeah," she agreed. "I thought maybe she felt bad for her role in it so I thanked her for caring enough to tell me - God knows how much longer I would have been kept in the dark if she hadn't. Turns out she was just keeping impatient waiting for him to leave me so she took things into her own hands."
"Oh, that's brutal."
"Now I'm crashing on Lanie's couch, trying to find somewhere to live so that I can figure out my next steps. So, there you have it: my story, my baggage, the reason I can't... do more."
"Of course." He understood completely, but that didn't ease the sting of disappointment he felt.
"You know that period of time after a break up when you're just... not okay? Like, I know it's over and I'm moving forward. But, there's this heaviness that just kind of lurks."
"Like storm clouds over the city."
"Yeah, just like that."
One thing about Rick, though, was that storm clouds never stopped him from venturing outside.
"Have you ever danced in the rain, though?" he asked.
"What?" She smiled, but confusion marred her face and he realised his thoughts had bled into his words.
"Sorry, I'm thinking out loud. Look, I don't want to push if you're not ready but I do feel like there's something here. I want to get to know you, Kate. I want to spend more time with you."
"I would like that, I just- I'm not in a place where I can offer you anything more than friendship."
"That's all I'm asking," he blurted, his heart filled with hope.
Hope that this was just the beginning of their story: a story that would last a lifetime.
She narrowed her eyes, her disbelief painfully evident. "Yeah?"
"Yes, Kate," he assured her, his voice firm but friendly. "I like you, you're interesting. Of course I want your friendship."
The corners of her mouth twitched into a shy smile and she looked as if she was about to speak, but her phone began to ring.
"Sorry, I have to take this."
"Of course." He leant back in his chair and allowed his eyes to wander the small crowd of people around them, giving Kate as much privacy as the small distance between them would allow.
"Beckett," she spoke into her phone.
He smiled at the unusual greeting: he couldn't imagine answer his phone with nothing more than a short 'Castle'. But ,he supposed it was an efficiency thing.
She grabbed a paper napkin from the dispenser, the pen from her pocket and - as she hummed and uh-huh'd her way through this very one-sided conversation - scrawled down what looked to be an address.
His attention was drawn away by the waitress as she placed their coffee's on the table.
"Thank you," he said with a smile. "Is there any chance I could grab a take-away cup?" he asked. He had a sneaking suspicion that this meeting was coming to an end sooner rather than later.
"Of course, I'll bring one over."
"Thanks."
"Okay, on my way," Kate said before she ended the call. She looked at Rick and sighed. "Sorry, I have to go."
"Life of a cop, right?" He smiled, an assurance that he understood. His eyes dropped, studying her outfit. "No uniform?"
"No uniform," she confirmed. "I'm a detective."
"There you go, Sir," the waitress said as she placed the take away cup onto the table.
"Thank you."
He slid Kate's latte closer to himself and carefully transferred it from the warm ceramic into the cardboard alternative.
"There you go." He put the lid on the cup and passed it to her.
"You're a Godsend!" she practically cheered as she stuffed her phone back into her jacket pocket.
She stood, pulled cash from her pocket and placed it on the table.
"Hold on!" He reached out and grabbed her wrist. "Can I please have your number this time? I'm assuming you didn't track me down for the hell of it."
"Oh, right." She smiled. "I suppose."
She grabbed another napkin from the dispenser and wrote her number on it, passing it to him.
"Just for the record, Esposito tracked you down."
A smug grin spread across Rick's face. "I knew he liked me."