(A/N): Leo's reaction to Jerremyah's offer. And Lisbet's.

Trigger Warnings: Fairly brief discussions of death and suicide/suicidal tendencies/suicidal ideation. References to uh... assisted suicide... assistance?

Leo

At first, the words didn't really compute. It made so little sense to me that he would offer- especially so blatantly, right here in front of Lisbet- that for the first few seconds, they simply didn't penetrate. And then they did... along with the look of horrified outrage on Lisbet's face.

"Je-" I cut her off before she could- rather predictably- object any further, squeezing Jerremyah's hand as I did so.

"Thank you." I told him softly, and out of the corner of my eye, I saw Lisbet's upper lip curl backward as she bared her teeth in an attempt to show her displeasure. Or maybe it was just an instinctual thing, something she couldn't help- just like I couldn't help the thrill of fear that skittered up my spine at the sight of what, from just about anyone else, I'd consider a threat.

"Leo-" It was Jerremyah's turn to cut her off this time, seemingly completely oblivious to the furious look she slashed at him, as he squeezed my hand in return.

"Ignore her," She spluttered with rage, and I didn't pity him the fight they were inevitably going to have later. "She can't change my mind. You need me, I'll be there- even for something like this." Her expression now held the slightest hint of conflict, but I highly doubted it would soften her mood any- now or later, when they were alone and she had the chance to really lay into him. "Especially for something like this."

I felt my eyebrows furrow, and I turned slightly so I could get a better look at him. "Why?" He appeared a bit confused, so I clarified. "Why 'especially' for something like this?" I knew, immediately, that I'd asked the wrong thing. Well, maybe not the wrong thing- in fact, it was probably the most appropriate question I could have asked, but... I had the feeling that I'd accidentally stumbled into something painful. For Jerremyah, yes, definitely, but also for Lisbet, I feared.

I knew by the look on his face and the way his eyes darted in her direction, but stopped before they could reach her. Like he didn't want to burden her with the weight of his gaze. It was almost as if she could sense this, too, because when her own eyes swung to him, and she saw the- it could only be shame, in the end- her resolve seemed to flicker.

"It's... a long story." He said stiffly, his eyes low- as though he was almost as hesitant to meet mine as he was Lisbet's. "I don't know if we should... get into it now." Hm...

"Because we don't have the time, or because you don't want to explain it in front of Lisbet?" He blinked, then flushed slightly- clearly, he was ashamed again. She eyed him softly, her anger forgotten at least temporarily, even if he never so much as glanced in her direction.

"...I," He swallowed thickly. "It's not like it's... something she's unaware of, but... well... I suppose it isn't something I'd like to remind her of, especially now." Her eyebrows furrowed, and I shrugged.

"I'm fine with whatever," I told him. "But I don't think you're going to get out of having a row with the missus, either way." Both of them were flushing now, but I was glad to see that Jerremyah suddenly looked more flustered than ashamed.

"He's definitely going to be getting a talking to," She asserted, thumbing the back of my ear for a split second, as if trying to confirm that I was still there- despite the fact that I'd been securely in her arms for quite a while. "Whether that's a full row or just a concerned chat, all depends on him." On whether he could satisfy her with his reasons for offering to help me- help me- chains.

"It's- well-" He exhaled sharply through his teeth. "You know how, and why, I became a vampire." Her eyebrows furrowed again, before apparently the meaning behind his words- or most of it, at least- became clear to her. "I wasn't exactly... I welcomed death." I blinked. "Maybe not in quite so permanent a sense as I know our dear Leo is proposing," Hearing him refer to me as their 'dear Leo' made something in the back of my chest glow. "But, well..." He winced, and shrugged. "I wouldn't have been opposed to it, if I had found myself with no other options." We were all silent for a second, digesting that, before Lisbet shook her head in a way I suspected was equal parts hearty disagreement, and an attempt to clear her mind.

"You thought you had no other options- didn't we just go over this, with Evie?" He shrugged but he didn't look at all surprised by her response, so I figured that maybe she was right, at least on that front.

"It's been a decade- or near enough- and we've been apart that entire time. Excuse me for falling back on old arguments." I stared at them both, my eyes flicking back and forth between them, before I tried to shift away.

She huffed quietly, and tugged me back immediately. "I would say I prefer it to any new arguments you may have been building in the meantime, but I think I've already encountered my fair share of those. And where do you think you're going?" She asked as pointedly as I suspected she could, given the half-amused, half-concerned look she was now pinning me with.

"I was just-" I swallowed. "I'm not sure this argument will be helped in any way by you having me in your arms-" I cut myself off as I found myself unable to breathe- not because she was squeezing me too tightly, but because my breath had been stolen by the weight of the emotion I saw in her eyes.

I dropped my own gaze downward- then immediately to the side, to the much safer destination of the hem of Jerremyah's jeans- in order to avoid getting further overwhelmed by what I saw in her eyes, and in fact, on her whole face. There was concern, and pain, and a slight bit of irritation- which I highly suspected was being masked, and she was actually much more frustrated than she was letting on- but most of all, there was... love. Love for me, and love for Jerremyah, because even if he was making life hard for her at the moment, it didn't change the fact she loved him. I didn't know what to do in the face of that tidal wave of love, so I did what I do best- absolutely nothing.

"But it won't be hurt by it, either, Nounours." I felt my cheeks flush for the first time in a long time, at the now familiar nickname. "Do you... want me to let you go?" I hesitated, but when her arms loosened ever so slightly, I jolted- and before I even really had the chance to think about what I was doing- what I wanted to do- my hands were gripping her forearms in a manner I had no doubt came across as mortifyingly desperate.

"I- I-" There weren't words. I felt like I was choking on my need- my need for what, I didn't know, but it felt... well, it felt mortifyingly desperate, is how it felt. "I-" She pressed a kiss to my hairline, and I slumped into her arms, once more. I melted into her, and she chuffed against my temple.

"I'll take that as a 'no'." She murmured, and despite the fact that I knew Jerremyah could hear us easily, it felt like a secret. Like some sort of special- treasured- form of communication that only we shared. Maybe Jerremyah hearing didn't bother me, because him being part of that 'we' didn't bother me, either.

I butted my nose into the hollow of her cheek, followed it back to her ear, then beyond, into her hair. After a few seconds, I was forced to return to her cheek, as her soft locks drove me to distraction by tickling their way across my skin. "Words are hard." She bit out a laugh that hit my ear like pure joy.

"I know, Nounours. Mon doux garcon. Mon petit- petit garcon." I dug my fingertips into her arm- not hard, but just... enough to get a hold of her. On her.

"Tante." I chirped brightly, and she brushed her lips against my cheek.

"I'll ask again," She said carefully- reluctantly. "Do you want me to-" I cut her off. I didn't have a choice, if I wanted to prevent that strange new panic from overtaking me again.

"No. Not particularly." She huffed out another laugh into my hair. "But we should. It's been too long, we should-" She interrupted me in turn, pressing me closer to her.

"Do you think it's been too long, or are you still concerned with what other people might think? People who, I must remind you, aren't in this room with us right now." My eyes slid sideways to Jerremyah, who held his hands up in surrender- something he'd only recently regained the ability to do, since I'd released his hands to grab Lisbet's forearm. I'd also slipped out from under the weight of his arm in order to push myself closer to her, so I was no longer tucked flush to his side, either.

Now that I'd taken notice of it, my shoulders did feel a bit cold now that the heat of his body was missing. "I... I don't think I'm the best person to judge that sort of thing," I said, and when she tilted her head against mine, I pushed myself to elaborate- no matter how embarrassing it may be. "It will never be too long, in my opinion. It will never be long enough. I would stay in your arms- your open arms- forever." Said arms tightened around me.

"Just as I would hold you in them forever, Nounours." Hesitantly, I turned my head slightly, and brushed my lips against her cheekbone, where it met her ear- and delighted in hearing her suck in a breath, before she sighed contentedly on the exhale.

"A time frame that's a bit more achievable for you than me, Tante-" She stiffened, but I continued nonetheless. "-but I'll do my best to even the odds."

(A/N): Me, plaguing my sister with (10) messages about the state of Jerremyah's footwear: 'But is he wearing shoes? Well, not shoes- boots, but still, does he have something on his feet? Slippers? Socks? Is he just barefoot? Would he bother putting on shoes- even just slippers- right after he got out of the shower? But I don't want Leo to be staring at his bare feet, either- I think that's weird. But putting on socks fresh out of the shower when your feet are always just ever so slightly damp is just (*gag*), so what- what- what's he got on his feet?'

My sister: *is asleep, because it's like, 2am*

Me to myself 20 minutes later when there's still not a reply, because duh, she asleep: 'Fuck it, Leo's staring at the hem of Jerremyah's jeans.'

Me, 14 and a half hours later, when she still hasn't replied (and is presumably at work, now): 'So, do you have an opinion on Jerremyah's feet?'

Me: 'Which, I wanna say is the weirdest question I've ever asked you, but we both know it isn't.'

(she never replied)

Translations (French):

Nounours = Teddy Bear

Tante = Aunt

Mon doux garcon = My sweet boy

Mon petit garcon = My little boy

Chapter title is obviously a reference to 'The Mortifying Ordeal of Being Known' by Tim Kreider, but let's face it, it's really a reference to the Dramione fic 'Draco Malfoy and the Mortifying Ordeal of Being in Love' by isthisselfcare on ao3. Both are fitting because Leo is terrified of being both known, and loved.