Chapter 5

Between an Octorok and a Hard Place

The ferns, mosses and bushes that made up the underbrush of the lush forests of the Monster Wilds had for the most part been left in peace to grow and flourish, seeking the coveted light of the sun as it sneaked its way through the thick canopy of leaves from the trees above...at least until a stampede of heavy hooves suddenly and abruptly trampled them into shredded salad.

King Bulblin and his Bulblin minions had been relentlessly tracking their prey, the ever-elusive Princess Zelda, for two days nonstop now, all in service of their new mysterious master...with no luck as of yet.

The king himself was at the front of the pack, riding on top of his massive monster of a pig: Lord Bulbo, while the rest either kept closely behind or searched nearby areas. A large number of them had split off from the main group to cover more ground though, yet still didn't venture too far away from their leader.

Their orders were clear: if any Bulblin baring the 'Eye of Vaati' (their new banner) saw anything that even remotely resembled Princess Zelda, or well...any human wandering around in a place like this, then they were to blow their horn so that the rest of them can gang up and capture her. They were, of course, absolutely forbidden from killing Zelda; even harming her more than strictly necessary would be met with terrible consequences, courtesy of their master. Though if they did find her, capture her, and bring her back to Vaati intact, then he had promised to reward them quite handsomely...so, probably worth it, all things considered...right?

The little monsters were thorough, or...well, as thorough as they could stand to be, searching under every rock, behind every tree, inside every cave; keeping their small red eyes peeled for any sign of movement.

Their true greatest asset to their search however was their mounts. Bulbos weren't just useful for getting around fast or trampling over people, though that were two things they excelled at, but they were also surprisingly intelligent and had an absurdly strong sense of smell, and so the Bulblins used them as one would use a bloodhound, to track the scent trail left behind by Zelda, which would hopefully lead them to their prize.

Interestingly enough though, despite the Bulblins being on high alert, and ready to call the alarm on any humanoid shape in sight, they completely failed to notice the lone Sheikah scout whom was spying on them from her vantage point in the branches of a large tree high above them, keeping her movements and sound to an absolute minimum to avoid drawing attention to herself.

One of the very first things Impa's teacher had taught her when it came to stealth was that people almost never looked up, and judging by how none of the Bulblins below had spotted her yet, she concluded that the same was true of monsters as well. Her master's borderline draconian teaching style may not have left a lot of happy memories for her to reminisce on...but it had kept her alive.

"I found a footprint! Looks human-sized to me!" one of the Bulblins announced below, drawing the attention of two more, who came to see what she had found.

One of the others responded by bonking her in the head with his club and shouted, "No, Bertie, that's a bear track, ya blooming idiot!"

"Ow! Now that was uncalled for!" Bertie defended, rubbing the back of her head to reduce the pain in her skull. "'Sides, how can ya even tell?!"

"Humans ain't got feet that big, now if Lord Vaati punishes us for your stupidity, I swear to Demise, I'm gonna kill-"

"Quiet!" King Bulblin called out in his deep rumbling voice, silencing his two bickering underlings with a single word. "She's not here...let's move on!" he commanded after that, and without question, the Bulblins followed his lead.

Impa, still remaining unnoticed, watched them leave. "Lord Vaati, huh?" she whispered to herself, scouring her memories for any mention of ever hearing that name before in any context whatsoever...but came up with nothing.

Then, as silent as the grave and as swift as the wind, she retreated, leaping from tree to tree with an impressive display of her acrobatic skill.

Not too far away all that, the serene but intense noise of a running stream of water bombarded Princess Zelda's sensitive ears as she rested next to it, sitting on the ground with her back against the trunk of a tree.

Following Impa and trying to match the Sheikah's pace for the last day and a half had been the single most exhausting endeavour Zelda had done in her life so far, but to her credit, she actually was trying her best, having made pretty decent progress forward for most of the day, give or take a dozen or so breaks such as this one.

It was...difficult to relax right now though, at least for a someone like Zelda. They had followed the stream to have a constant supply of fresh drinkable water, but the sound it made...that loud constant noise...it was infuriating.

Zelda was sure she would have been called mad had she voiced this issue to anyone, especially a no-nonsense, no excuses kind of woman like Impa, as it made no real sense. Most considered the sound of a stream of water calming or atmospheric, a sign of pristine nature...but try as she might, Zelda never felt that way. To her, it was an irritation, like a bee or a mosquito buzzing in her ear without end, with no way to simply squash or swat it away.

It wasn't torture or anything, just...a lot to handle when coupled with all the other issues she was currently dealing with.

Impa had told her not to move until she returned from scouting the area, and in truth, that was the only reason she still sat here by the stream in spite of the noise.

In truth, Impa didn't know about Zelda's issue, nor had Zelda mentioned it, so she thought nothing of the location where she had told her to wait for her.

Breathe in...

...breathe out...

...that was what Zelda did, trying to keep herself calm...trying to ignore, filter out the sound...but it was difficult. Unable to stop herself, she picked up the nearest grabbable object she could reach, a small stone in this case, and started to fidget with it in her hand.

Her tutor back home hated when she did this: thought it distracting or that it meant that Zelda wasn't paying attention...but in actuality: the opposite was true. She found it way harder to focus, whether it be listening to Instructor Owlan's lectures, her father's long-winded speeches, or her sister's lessons on military strategy, if she couldn't hold or fidget with a small object of some kind. It was like a curse...a very strange and nonsensical one, but a curse nonetheless.

In fact, both of those things: her aversion to constant background noise and the need to fidget with small objects, those were things that felt natural to herself but no one else seemed to understand. It was like...she was just born...different, almost like she and everyone else was in a play but she was the only one who hadn't read the script.

One day, she might figure out what to call these...quirks...but right now, she was just as clueless as everyone else was.

Eventually, her ears picked up the sound of something other than the annoying sound of running water...though that sound was no less distracting.

"So then...did you really need my help earlier, lassie?" that ever-familiar voice from her childhood whispered into her ear, making the hairs on Zelda's body stand on end. The temperature also suddenly dropped ever so slightly.

Her eyes panned over to where the voice had come from, and this time, she could make out the vagues outline of a silhouette sitting on a rock to her left, a silhouette with a wide-brimmed hat, and the slight glow of two green eyes...but other than that was he invisible to her sight.

It was...difficult to see him in daylight, almost as if the rays of the sun erased him from view. Yet even with that said, Zelda could never forget what he looked like after that first time he appeared on the balcony.

As for his question, Zelda simply rolled her eyes and scoffed, "Have I ever?"

"Hehihihheheheh...now that is the question, isn't it?" the invisible Trickster asked, a hint of a challenge in his charismatic voice. "Life is all about 'needs' and 'wants', always striving for one or the other, often forsaking one for another. So tell me, Princess: do you understand your own wants and needs?"

"Cryptic questions again?!" Zelda groaned. "I so did not miss all of those after you disappeared. Speaking of which..." she levelled her eyes at the faint outline of his silhouette. "...why did you disappear...and why did you come back now all of a sudden?"

The Trickster stared back at her and did not answer. Instead, he just put his hand on his chin in thought, "Hmmmm...I just realised that this conversation so far has been only questions and no answers. We cannae let that continue. In fact, I'll make you a deal: answer my question about wants and needs, and be honest now...and I will answer your question in turn."

Games again? If there was one thing about this creature that Zelda had gotten really frustrated about, then it was how remarkably difficult it was to ever get a clear answer from him. She had known him since she was twelve, and yet even to this day, she had never even learned his name. The only thing close to a name she'd gotten from him was 'Trickster', so that was what she had been forced to call him.

Zelda closed her eyes and leaned back against the rock, taking a deep breath as she thought of a good enough answer for the Trickster's question. He would never help her unless she played his game: that she had learned a long time ago.

"What I want, and what I need, is to find my way home and be out of this nightmare," she answered, looking down at the stream instead of on the faint visage of the apparition she was speaking to. "Is that a good enough answer for you?"

"Nae, it's not...because that answer is not the truth, of that I can be very certain of."

She looked back at him, "Oh really? And what do you think I want or need then?"

He did not provide her with an answer, instead yet another question (as always). "What exactly about your old life do you miss so much? What is it you want to return to? Is it the etiquette lessons, the guards watching you from every corner of every day, your sister's silent scorn whenever she lays eyes on you, or your father's high expectations..." the glowing green orbs that were his eyes narrowed into hers. "...or...your fiancé? Hmhmhhmhihihihheheheh..."

The mere mention of him felt like a stab right through Zelda's heart; that cold shiver that creeped up when faced with a horrible and inevitable fate. She hadn't thought about him much since her capture, and for good reason. Her main priorities at the time had been on her captor and how to escape him, or things that were right in front of her and relevant to the situation...which he was not, and all thoughts that weren't on those things were on that which brought the princess comfort, such as good food, a warm bed, more peaceful times. The thought of him did not bring her comfort.

She did not comment on the Trickster's arguments, but she displayed all kinds of conflicting emotions on her face, all of which he could read like a book.

Wait, books? Now that was something that brought Zelda comfort. She thought back to her favourite books: images of their pages, their words, their pictures, their smells, the...worlds within that they always took her to.

'Secrets of the Picori' was a good read, very interesting...though she very much doubted those little mouse-sized people really existed, 'The Legend of the Ocarina of Time' was a masterpiece, even though she personally found the mysterious Sheik character more interesting than the protagonist, 'Stone and Shore' was one that got her hooked, despite Zelda not usually being a fan of romance, mostly because of the interesting premise of a Zora Princess escaping an arranged marriage due to falling in love with a Goron on Death Mounta- ...no, wait, she was supposed to think about things that didn't remind her of her situation back home! Damnit!

More pages flashed into her mind, recalling them with a near-photographic memory: images of various monsters and creatures, places, heroes and villains, and...wait, one page from her memory, one of a really, really old book, most of its text either burned in an old fire or withered through time, but...there was a picture...a picture of a creature with one eye and two great horns...the text was blurred, not only physically, but because it was a mere fleeting memory, but she grasped a few words, words that seemed important: 'Minish', 'Ezlo', 'Four Sword', 'Elements', and...'Wind Mage'.

She did not know what those words meant, or their significance, if any, they actually had, but...the creature in the picture did resemble the creature that attacked Ganon's Tower an uncanny amount.

Her little mental investigation was interrupted a bit though when the Trickster continued his previous point. "Oh, and how can we forget the tremendous burden of one day taking the throne and becoming Queen of all of Hyrule? Is that what you want to return to? Do you want to be a dictator?"

"I...I...what is your point?" Zelda replied in lieu of anything more clever to say. As much as she hated to admit it, the annoyingly cryptic ghostly being was hard to argue against. She had no good answers to the vast majority of his endless questions, and that was beyond frustrating.

Frustrating, huh? If Zelda could describe the Trickster in one word, it would be exactly that: frustrating.

He floated close to her, and she caught a glimpse of the green flame burning in the lantern he always kept at his side. "My point is, deary, that...eh...that...ehhhhh...I'll get back to you on that!"

"What?!"

...and just like that, he was gone.

She looked around, but saw not the slightest glimt of him, even standing up to get a better view...but still no Trickster in sight. He hadn't dramatically flown away, no bright flash of a teleport, or even sneaked away when she wasn't looking: he had just faded out of existence as if he was never there in the first place.

"You accursed, smug, son of a-" she cursed under her breath.

She froze up as her ears picked up something from right behind her, but it wasn't the Trickster's mischievous voice, but footsteps. The Trickster didn't have feet, so it definitely wasn't him.

She spun around and felt her angry expression melt away a bit when she saw that it indeed wasn't the Trickster...or a monster trying to sneak up on her (which was a very real possibility in this place), but Impa finally returning from her scouting trip.

"Oh thank goodness you're back! Do you have any idea how-" she began to comment in a loud exasperated tone while briskly approaching her travelling companion, but was stopped from finishing that sentence when Impa silenced her by quickly placing an assertive finger on the princess' lips.

Zelda couldn't really decide if the bold, wordless gesture and invasion of her personal space made her feel insulted or strangely turned on. Nevertheless, she kept either reaction to herself regardless.

"Keep your voice down, move silently, and follow my lead," Impa whispered, plain and straight to the point, then motioned for Zelda to follow as she headed in a completely different direction than where they had been travelling so far.

"Wait...weren't we supposed to follow the stream South?" Zelda whispered, trying her best to both comply with Impa's instructions while also quelling her insatiable curiosity.

Impa didn't answer right away; instead scanning their surroundings for any sign of danger, not meeting Zelda's eyes, even when she eventually replied to her question. "Change of plans: King Bulblin and his henchmen are here, and that way would take us right to them. They outnumber us fifty to two...or rather fifty to one given your lack of combat prowess...we'll need to take a detour."

Zelda wasn't sure if she should be feeling insulted by Impa so clearly dismissing her usefulness in a fight...or completely agreeing with her on that front. However, the mere mention of King Bulblin's presence sent a small surge of fear throughout her body. Appears escaping him wasn't quite as easy as she had thought.

"You saw him?"

"Yes...and he seems to be after you, and you specifically, judging from what I overheard. I don't know why that is, but I think it would be best if we don't find out."

Zelda couldn't agree more on that: the last thing she wanted right now was to run into that beast again.

"I do have one question though..." Impa started, still keeping her voice to a whisper and paying attention to the slightest sign of any Bulblins around. "Does the name 'Vaati' mean anything to you?"

"Uhh..." Zelda really tried her best to search her extensive memory for any mention of that name, but only came up with, "No, I cannot say that it does. Why?"

"It appears to be who they're working for, and they seem scared to death of him. All I managed to get from eavesdropping on them other than that was that he wanted you alive, he's sometimes referred to as 'Lord Vaati', and they used masculine pronouns for him."

"Oh, well...I still don't recognise the name. Sorry," Zelda replied, though the limited amount of information Impa had given her had already gotten her thinking about who this 'Vaati' figure was and why he wanted her.

Her first thought was that it was simply the name of King Bulblin, considering that 'King Bulblin' felt more like a title than a name, but she very quickly dismissed that notion for a number of reasons, one of which being that it just didn't feel right. Her second thought was that it might have been another of Ganondorf's former minions who decided to fill the power vacuum left when Ganondorf died...or someone who was still loyal to him, perhaps even in death...or who didn't even know he was dead just yet.

That made a bit more sense than the first theory at least, but as she thought about it a bit more, there was another factor that she just couldn't ignore: the mysterious one-eyed monstrosity that attacked the tower. What if...that monster's name was Vaati, and he managed to usurp Ganon's loyalty in the Bulblins to hunt her down? That idea...made honestly too much sense to ignore.

Even the fact that Zelda hadn't heard of his name before made sense, as something she just...'felt'...back when the creature destroyed the tower was that it was very old...even older than Ganondorf himself. Now why was that significant? Well, because back when Ganon first invaded Hyrule more than a century ago, he completely demolished the old Hyrule Castle and caused a fire that destroyed half of the royal archive, where much of Hyrule's collective historical knowledge was kept.

If this 'Vaati' figure had left a mark in history long before that, then the records of those events might well have been destroyed by Ganondorf himself.

Either way, while Zelda would love to voice all those thoughts with Impa out loud, the current situation made her decide to save that conversation for later.

She meanwhile tried her best to keep up with Impa as she lead them out of the dense woods and into a more rocky area at a higher elevation. The climb was brutal for the less-than-athletic princess, but the fear of the nearby Bulblin pack hunting her was enough motivation to push through and move forward without complaint.

The cliff they were climbing wasn't that steep, more like a rocky hill, but climbing it was still an exhaustive task. Impa, being by far the more experienced of the two when it came to this, was a fair bit ahead of Zelda, and when she reached the top, where the ground ahead was far flatter, she suddenly stopped...which confused Zelda a bit.

"What is it? Something wrong?" Zelda asked from just below her, though she did so while also doing her very best not to look like she had been staring, even briefly, up at Impa's muscular...erhmmm...hmmp, hmmp...bottom when they were climbing.

Let's just say the hormonally unbalanced teenaged princess was going through a lot of confusing emotions right now.

Impa looked down towards Zelda, and was confused to see a blush on her face, but quickly put that out of her mind and whispered, "Whatever you do, don't make a sound."

Zelda silently nodded.

"There's a whole colony of Octoroks up ahead, disguising themselves as boulders. Touch them or make any sound and they'll pop up and pelt you with rocks, and trust me...that is something you only want to experience once."

The certainty in Impa's hushed voice told Zelda that that last part was coloured by personal experience...and clearly it wasn't a happy memory.

Zelda knew full well what an Octorok was. After all, who didn't? A kind of octopus that could live on both land and in water, but was fairly slow, so instead of running around catching prey, they hid under bushes or rocks, somewhat like a hermit crab, and would spit apple-sized rocks at anyone or anything that got too close to them. They weren't sentient like Bulblins or Lizalfos, or some kind of unholy monster like Redeads either, but more of a dangerous wild animal common throughout Hyrule and beyond.

While she hadn't encountered a live one before, Zelda was intimately familiar with them...since she'd actually eaten a few in her life. They served Octorok meat in the castle quite often, and it didn't taste half-bad.

Of course, how they tasted wasn't really relevant to their current situation; how to get past them without being stoned to death was.

"So...what do we do? Turn around? Find a way around them?" Zelda suggested, her knuckles turning white as she did her best to maintain her grip on the rocky hill she was climbing. Remaining still this long when she was supporting most of her weight on her fingers alone wasn't exactly pleasant.

Impa inhaled...then exhaled, slowly and calmly while briefly closing her eyes as she considered their next course of action.

A distant sound from down below however made the decision clear. She looked down and saw movement in the forest from where they came from, as well as rustling of bushes and footsteps...and even faint voices.

The Bulblins were closing in...

"Too risky," she decided. "I'm afraid there's only one option: we have to cross the Octorok field."

Zelda gave her a wide-eyed look, as if she'd gone completely mad or grown a second head, and whisper-shouted, "Seriously?!"

Her response was promptly ignored, and Impa did not even look at her, nor explain her reasoning. Instead, all she did was to say, "Watch your step, be silent as the grave, and follow me and we'll make it through without any issue. Come on."

All Zelda could do was stare up at Impa indignantly while the Sheikah climbed up ahead, moving as silently as was physically possible for a human being to move while doing so. How Impa managed to consistently be so stealthy was beyond Princess Zelda's understanding, it really was, and she would be lying if she said she wasn't at least a little bit envious.

She, on the other hand, could barely move, paralysed by indecision. Somehow she was supposed to be able to replicate that same superhuman stealthiness and just wander through a field full of highly irritable rock-spitting octopi as if that wasn't utter suicide. What in Farore's name was the logic here?!

Well, whatever it was, it surely wasn't in Zelda's favour, as her state of panic and dread was only worsened when she too picked up the faint sound of the Bulblin pack approaching behind her in the forest below, leaving her with only two terrible options: them or the Octoroks? Pick your poison, as it were.

Frustrated, and with the knowledge that her father or her etiquette teacher wasn't around to hear her, she muttered, "Ah...fuck it," and started to climb after Impa.

It was phenomenally difficult to do it while also staying silent, but she managed...mostly. She did knock down a stone that bounced several times on the way down the hill loud enough to make Zelda cringe, but...thankfully, there was no response from the Octoroks above nor the Bulblins below...so instead of lamenting it, she continued up once she was sure she hadn't just messed everything up.

After she had successfully climbed up, she was exhausted...but not in any mood to relax, as the sight before her was even worse than she imagined.

For the next 280 metres, there was a flat plateau at the top of the hill leading to a mountain pass and more forests beyond...but for the entire stretch of that plateau, there were hundreds of strangely shaped rocks poking out of the ground...every single one of which Zelda knew was actually an Octorok in disguise, just waiting for someone or something to disturb their peaceful slumber, and respond with violence (possibly lethal) if that happened.

Impa had already made a fair bit of progress, walking so silently that the short-tempered cephalopods didn't even know she was there when she moved right past them, all while also placing her steps perfectly so she didn't touch a single one of them either.

All Zelda could do was gulp, and try her very best to emulate her.

Slowly, she took her first steps, cursing her high heels for the slight bit of sound they made whenever she hit something hard with them. 'fuck, fuck, fuck...' she cursed inwardly as she saw the slightest bit of movement from one of the hidden Octoroks, fearing that she may have awoken it.

She fortunately hadn't, as it settled into stillness a moment later, but that slight movement alone had nearly made Zelda have a heart attack or soiled her underwear. The fear she felt was palpable.

With no other choice, she continued forward, passing by quite a few and making decent progress.

Impa was far ahead of her, but she regularly checked back to see that Zelda was doing alright. She may not like her all that much as of yet, but keeping the princess safe was her duty and she would not fail it no matter what. Impa had already planned out what she would do if Zelda ended up waking the colony, her muscles and reflexes were prepared for the exact moves she would make if it came to that: she would leap over to her and block as many Octorok stones as she could, with her own body if she had to.

Her role was clear: if it ever came down to whose life was most important between herself and Princess Zelda, Impa would pick Zelda every time, even if it meant dying in the process.

It was a strange thing in her mind, as Impa had only known the princess for a day and a half, and most of that had been filled with bickering. Heck, Impa would even say that Zelda was rather annoying so far, with her constant complaints and entitled attitude, but even so, Impa would give her life for her. Why? Because as her master had taught her time and time again, Impa's life always meant less than her duty, and she'd rather die a gruesome death than be a coward and forsake her duty.

To both Zelda's and Impa's pleasant surprise though, the two soon enough managed to cross over half the Octorok field without disturbing a single one of them.

Though like with many good things in life, as Princess Zelda has recently come to learn: they don't last forever...

Now to be utmost fair to the poor princess, the one small incident that turned this quiet but nerve racking experience into something far more intense, wasn't entirely her own fault. It was all too easy for her to just take a wrong step or accidentally make a noise that would awaken the colony, but that's not exactly what happened...or at least, that's not all that happened.

While neither Zelda nor Impa noticed him this time, being all too focused on the Octoroks or each other to pay attention to anything else, the wily Trickster had silently watched them from the shadows this whole time, just waiting for the perfect moment to...'nudge'...things in the direction he wanted.

He wasn't powerful, nor had he much physical effect on the world around him, at least not overtly, but he liked to focus on the...simpler things. The small, insignificant little events that were not at all as insignificant as they seemed at the time, tiny little threads of fate that could be pulled, plucked or cut...with great or terrible unforeseen consequences.

In other words: the butterfly effect.

Invisible to the naked eye, as he usually was in daylight, the Trickster floated up to Zelda when Impa turned away from her ever so briefly, then quickly gripped the princess' ankle and pulled it back just enough to make her trip.

This simple act, which barely took any physical strength to pull off and was done by a being lacking a corporeal body, forever changed the world for a long time to come like a finger flip on a long line of dominos...and just like the flat rectangular blocks falling over each other one by one, Zelda completely lost her footing and sense of balance, raising her hands up instinctively as she landed right on top of a camouflaged Octorok, all while letting out a short but loud involuntary yell.

Impa, who had been focused on her own footing, instantly snapped her attention back to the princess the split-second she heard her voice, and immediately after, did the exact moves she had planned to do ahead of time.

The Octorok Zelda had landed on felt the sudden new weight on top of it, and panicked: popping out of the ground like a 'whack a mole' target to defend itself. Though since the girl just so happened to be on top of the creature's shell as it did so, it ended up sending her flying with that move.

Zelda landed a metre or so away on her back with a painful thud, making her let out another unintended noise from her mouth and alerting the colony even more than she had before...even if the point was moot considering they all felt the loud vibrations her body gave off when it hit the ground so close to them.

The Octorok, with its red skin and round toothless mouth, almost like a suction cup, glared down at the invading human with its strange-looking eyes as it prepared to launch a dangerous projectile at the one that had dared to disturb it.

Though before it got the chance, Impa landed with the dexterity of a leopard between it and Zelda and speared the angry cephalopod clean through its soft squishy body with her naginata so fast that it couldn't even think to hide back down in the ground again. Blue, copper-filled blood stained the ground around the dying creature as its three hearts beat their last beats, and clung onto the sharp end of the weapon as she pulled it back out, the blue liquid dripping onto the ground.

With the creature dead, Impa gave Zelda a look, one filled with anger, anxiety and urgency. No words were necessary for the princess to get the message; she wanted Zelda to get moving, and she wanted her to move NOW!

The cause for her urgency was clear when every single Octorok within twenty metres of their location, which was about forty angry rock-spitting octopi, all popped out of their hiding places and glared at the human invaders with their rageful greenish-yellow eyes, each and every one of them filled with hostile intent.

Impa was the one they were focusing on though, even though Zelda was the one that originally disturbed them. Why? Because Impa was standing up in an intimidating pose while the princess was still on her back and on the ground, and like any frightened animal: they attacked the most obvious threat first.

Rounded stones, grinded down to that shape by the Octoroks' stomachs after swallowing them in a somewhat similar process to a jagged stone becoming a beautiful pearl inside the mouth of a clam, flew towards Impa from every direction at once with the acceleration of baseballs.

What happened next was something so fast and so mesmerising that Princess Zelda, who watched it happen right in front of her waking eyes, could not describe what Impa just did to cheat what would for most people be a gruesome death.

With lightning quick, bordering on superhuman, reflexes, she used her extensive martial arts training to dodge the incoming projectiles, weaving and contorting her body with a flexibility most humans could only dream of having, and even finishing off her move by kicking one of the rocks with the bottom of her sandal so hard that it flew right back into the face of the Octorok that spat it out in the first place, dazing the creature.

Two of the missed shots even went ahead and hit two Octoroks on the other side of their intended target...though that wasn't intended by either party and was really only a lucky accident...or unlucky for those two Octoroks, as the case may be.

Still, as impressive as that was, the Octoroks weren't finished, and soon enough fired a second round of stones at Impa...while new Octoroks started waking up and joining the fight the more noise and vibrations the battle caused. An ever escalating snowball effect essentially.

And yet, even with more and more stones launched at her in ever escalating waves, Impa soldiered on: blocking, dodging and reflecting everything that was thrown at her, managing to take out more and more of her attackers with strictly defensive moves over time.

Throughout it all, Zelda could do little more than stare; beholding the beautiful martial dance of her guardian, who was moving her athletic and muscular body around unlike anything she had ever seen in her life. Not even Ganondorf's duel with the hero in green came close to what Impa was doing right in front of her.

Something about the sight made Zelda blush. She couldn't move...even though that was exactly what she was supposed to be doing, and instead just laid there on the ground, mesmerised and utterly captivated by the breathtakingly attractive woman doing the impossible to protect her, and her alone.

There was also something...strangely familiar about the sight...

Of course, Impa herself was not enjoying the moment nearly as much as the young princess was, and was rapidly getting winded and sweaty from the ridiculous amount of physical exertion she was doing in order to avoid being stoned to death. One wrong move and she could easily forfeit her life.

All she needed to do was to keep the Octoroks distracted long enough for her charge to run away and get to saf...and why wasn't the stupid girl moving!?

"What are you waiting around for, you idiot!?" Impa screamed as soon as she noticed that Zelda had not done as she anticipated and was just staring at her like a lovestruck girl. "GET OUT OF HERE NOW!"

That was enough to snap the princess out of her daze, and she immediately shook her head and tried to get back up on her feet as fast as she could...but by this point, it was too little, too late.

In the split second Impa used to scream at Zelda to get off her ass instead of gawking, she had gotten distracted and made a single bad step, resulting in her getting hit in the shoulder with a stone.

The hit wasn't bad enough to leave any serious injuries, and thanks to her poncho taking the brunt of the damage, it didn't even leave a bruise...but what it did do was to throw off her balance even further, and right now, in this specific situation, that was the worst thing that could possibly happen to her.

No less than five additional rocks hit her all across her body in the very next second...and that was followed by even more of them immediately after those. The pain was debilitating, even for a well-trained and experienced Sheikah warrior like Impa. She cried out louder and louder as the pain got worse and worse, and when one hit her right in the stomach, she spat out blood, staining the ground with it.

Zelda watched it all happen in stunned horror, barely able to comprehend the brutal scene in front of her. What had started out as the most beautiful thing she'd ever seen was now something ugly and disturbing, and she would not stand for it! Even with the logical side of her brain telling her that there was nothing she could do except run for her life and leave Impa to a gruesome fate, her whole being screamed at her to save her, to protect her, to do...something!

The Mark of Nayru began to glow at the back of Zelda's left hand, even if she didn't notice it, as all she saw was Impa, who was struggling beyond reason to dodge the barrage of deadly rocks with her pained and bruised body, and without really knowing what she was doing, Zelda sprang up and ran right up to her, holding up her hands as if to shield her companion with them...an act that would have been absurdly stupid, reckless and naive...if not for the fact that it actually worked.

In the blink of an eye, none of the stones launched by the angry Octoroks could reach Impa or Zelda, no matter how many was spat at them, for around the two, shielding and protecting them from the incoming attacks...was a big blue crystal-shaped forcefield, projected from Princess Zelda's own internal life force...

...Magic.

Just like the previous spells she had managed to conjure when her need was greatest, this was also a very rare and mostly forgotten spell of old: Nayru's Love.

Ironically, this was the very same spell Ganondorf had previously used to imprison Zelda herself with back in his tower, even if now it was used for less...nefarious purposes. The spell was pretty simple, all things considered: it was the formation of a barrier that could shield, protect, and even imprison objects within it...but with a bit of a twist.

The spell wasn't called Nayru's Love for no reason, as the magic within it was actually fuelled by the caster's love for whatever the spell was meant to protect. That said, what that actually means has a lot of leeway: for one, what kind of love it is doesn't really matter for the spell itself. It could be romantic, familial, platonic, or even sexual love, or even just a compassionate person's love for life itself rather than the specific thing being protected. Heck, many wielders of the spell even use the love they have for themselves to keep themselves protected...and even at that, there are a couple of strange loopholes to this condition. For instance, when Ganondorf used it to imprison Zelda in his tower, he obviously didn't 'love' her in any actual way, but he had desired something she was very closely linked to and carried on her person at all times: the Triforce of Wisdom.

He had used his own love for the Triforce to keep the one holding a piece of it imprisoned...which just goes to show how strange the rules of magic can be.

More to the point: while Princess Zelda may not have known Impa nearly long enough to be able to love her, she owed the Sheikah her life, and for that, she had to repay her for that deed, no matter what. Of course, it didn't help that, as briefly as she'd known her, and how little they got along, Zelda was already feeling some kind of way about Impa, and those two factors together proved to be enough for her to cast the spell and save her companion's life.

That said, Zelda herself wasn't quite sure what she just did, and had an astonished look in her eyes when she saw the transparent blue walls around her and several Octorok stones bouncing off of it without even denting the surface.

"Impa, are you alright?" she asked while hurriedly looking down behind her, where Impa was barely able to stand; only managing to get by on one knee while panting and wheezing, blood running down from her nose and her mouth.

The banged up woman looked up at her, her expression very hard to read right now: Anger? Relief? Both? Something else entirely? Zelda really couldn't tell.

She spat out a bit of blood, then replied, "No...but I'll live."

As luck would have it was the crystal-shaped barrier Zelda conjured not only mobile, but also very light, and so could be used to keep the two of them safe from the stones the Octoroks spat at them while travelling past the rest of their colony. With Impa's injuries though, Zelda actually had to support her on her shoulder, which was...rather exhausting for both of them, and the more tired Zelda in particular was, the weaker her barrier became.

Luckily, they did manage to get out of the colony when Zelda's barrier finally gave out, breaking into shards of glass...and then into dust...and then into nothing at all.

Zelda fell onto a patch of soft grass and moss, feeling absolutely drained after casting a spell for that long...and soon after that, Impa did the same next to her, albeit for another reason.

They were two tired souls taking a much-needed rest in the only soft part of this unforgiving world they could find. They didn't say or do anything for the better part of an hour...they just laid there, slowly but surely recovering their strength.

Eventually though, Impa, who now sported several bruises in various places on her body, sat up slightly and looked down at the princess next to her. She still had the odd expression on her face as earlier...and as Zelda met her crimson eyes, that look only became more intense...whatever it actually meant.

"What...happened?" was all Impa eventually asked. Just those two words with no further elaboration whatsoever.

The princess pushed herself to sit up herself, matching Impa's gaze with her own, and tried to explain, "I...I don't know, really. One second I was holding up my hands and the next that barrier-"

Impa stopped her from going any further by simply raising her hand, then clarified, "No, not that. And I'm not talking about the tripping and waking the whole colony either: I want to know why, when I had them distracted, you did not escape and save your own life."

To be honest with herself, that part confused Zelda as much as it confused Impa, and she wasn't sure she actually had a good answer to that question. Still, she did have at least a part of the answer...and that was better than nothing at the end of the day.

"I...I couldn't just leave you behind, could I?"

In the blink of an eye, Impa's face displayed a whole myriad of emotions, most of which Zelda missed. The first was a brief expression of shock...or perhaps guilt...but then that was swiftly replaced with anger and frustration as she looked away with a groan, unable to meet the princess' eyes.

After taking a few moments to just...breathe...Impa eventually said, "You foolish girl."

Zelda perked up at that comment, having barely picked up her companion's quiet tone. "What are you-"

"Don't you get it!?" Impa snapped, sharply staring back at Zelda, her face red with anger. "My life doesn't matter! Yours do!"

If asked, Zelda probably wouldn't have been able to explain why those simple words hurt Zelda far more on an emotional level than Impa's previous comment. A look of horror took root in Zelda's eyes, and it only got worse when Impa decided to elaborate further.

"The only purpose I have in life is to serve people like you, to fight for you, to die for you! You're the daughter of the king, the future ruler of the kingdom, and part of the royal bloodline, you must survive...at all costs! Do not ever put yourself in danger to save a worthless servant like me! You got that?!"

Zelda did not respond, she just stared back at Impa, unable to process what she was hearing. This was...this was not an attitude she wanted anyone to have about themselves, to think that you're somehow lesser to someone else because of what? Status? Bloodline? Priviledge? The very thought made her feel sick to her stomach.

Impa turned away from Zelda's horrified eyes and wrapped her arms around her legs while an expression that ranged between sad and frustrated settled on her face.

For a couple of moments, no words were exchanged between the two, the only sound left being the wind, the swaying of trees, the chirping of birds, and the steady breaths of the two teenagers as they sat there in the grass, contemplating the words spoken between them.

It was only after a minute or two that Zelda eventually perked up and asked, "Was it Ozshen who taught you that?"

The sudden mention of that name made Impa's eyes snap open wide, and she looked back at Zelda with a questioning look, but didn't say anything out loud.

"He's the one who trained you, wasn't it?" Zelda deduced, her eyes telling Impa that it wasn't really a question, but that she just knew.

"I...how did you figure that out?" was all Impa could think to ask.

A ghost of a smile crossed Zelda's face, and she slowly pushed herself up on her feet. "It took me awhile to realise, but I have seen you before, Impa. You were training in the castle courtyard with all of his other students. Like them, you always wore a mask, so I didn't know your face, but seeing you fight against the Octoroks just now, I...you moved like only one warrior I have ever seen. The others focused only on the techniques, only on the surgical precision, while you...you fought with passion, filling every single move with power and fury. It was beautiful to witness."

Impa was...baffled by Zelda's impression of her, as it was not an impression she even remotely shared. "Passion, huh?" Impa said with a scoff. "You're looking at Master Ozshen's worst student, the one who never could keep her stupid emotions in check. Do not glorify something as awful as my fighting style."

"Awful!?" Zelda sputtered, sounding oddly offended. "I saw you fight right now, and let me tell you, there was nothing even remotely awful about it! Stop treating yourself like you're worthless, because you're not!"

Impa did not seem to believe her. "I was almost killed by a pack of angry squids, a true Sheikah warrior would never sink so low! There were twenty of us training in that yard, all of us children...and no matter how much I trained, how much I fought, how much I tried, I always ended up dead last in the rankings." She let out an ironic chuckle before she added, "Even that lazy banana-munching buffoon Kohga fared better than me, Kohga!? How is that even possible? Yet it was always me who failed, I...was never enough. I wasn't even sent out here because of my skills as a scout, I was sent here to be as far away from Hyrule as humanly possible, so my...weakness, won't weaken the kingdom."

A single tear fell from one of Impa's red eyes even though her expression barely changed. "If I die keeping you safe...then Hyrule will be all the better for it."

At this point, Zelda wasn't even shocked or sad anymore...she was angry. She may not have gotten the chance to rule anything yet, but she could already see an injustice that she would take a stand for, no matter what.

"I wouldn't listen to the 'wise' words of Master Ozshen ever again," Zelda said with barely contained rage in her voice. The tone surprised Impa, and so did her statement.

"What? He's...he's my master, he taught me everything I-"

"...And he also made you think you were worthless," Zelda interrupted, her tongue sharp. "I have known that man ever since I was a child, have even called him 'uncle' a few times...but even so, there's a darkness in his heart. He has no conscience, no love, no mercy, he sees human beings as mere weapons to be used and discarded. Whatever he said about you, about how you were worse than all the other students, how your life means any less than mine...those were all lies!"

Impa wasn't sure if she truly believed Zelda's perspective on the matter, yet she did not dismiss it either. In fact, she couldn't even think of anything to say about it at all. In a way, though, she had felt deep down that at the very least, her teacher may not have ever been a good person in any real sense of that term. Ozshen had always been cold and ruthless, Impa knew that all too well, but for his teaching to have been all lies...that Impa would not accept so easily. After all, even with Zelda's bleak feelings towards the man, Impa knew his loyalty to Hyrule and his experience keeping the royal family safe was not in question, and all of his students had turned into excellent warriors.

Well...most of them anyway, Impa bitterly reminded herself.

"Let me ask you something?" Zelda eventually said after a moment of silence between the two.

Impa responded with a silent nod.

"Do you have anyone who cares about you back home? Parents, family, friends, a lover? Anyone at all?"

Impa's looked away a bit, let out a sigh...and then answered, "Yes, I have a sister."

"Does she love you?"

"...close enough."

"Then you know your life isn't meaningless! You have someone who will miss you if you die, so you better be sure we'll both make it back home alive, is that understood, soldier?!" Zelda put a bit of authority into her voice while extending a hand to the still crouched Impa.

A small but still noticeable spark of respect for the princess had been awakened in Impa at her kind words, and soon enough, she grabbed her hand and allowed herself to be pulled back on her feet. "Understood, Princess."

"Good...now that that's settled, I have to ask: what's your sister like?" Zelda asked with a bright cheerful smile on her face, the tension of their previous conversation fading fast.

Impa smirked. Zelda's energy was infectious.

"Where to even begin?!" she said in an exasperated tone. "She's so full of energy it feels like she's about to explode every damn minute, and failing that, her wild science experiments will probably end up doing that for her. She blew up our house twice! Twice! And then she has the gall to call me the boring sister after that. Oh, and don't even get me started on her friends, especially that Robbie guy, urghh...if I have to spend another family dinner entertaining him and his 'dramatic personality', I swear I'll end up running my naginata through his chest! Other than that, Purah, that's my sister's name by the way, isn't so bad. She's smart, upbeat, probably knows more about machines than anyone else in Hyrule, and can be...helpful...occasionally."

Zelda couldn't help but continue smiling as Impa continued talking about the chaotic relationship she had with her sister, now going on about some kind of anti-aging experiment that Purah had apparently been obsessed with.

Yet, despite doing her best to hide it for Impa's sake, Zelda couldn't help but be envious of Impa's predicament. Having a fun and quirky sibling who was a bit of a mad scientist would be downright pleasant compared to what Zelda had with her own sister Duelia...well, half-sister technically. Same mother, different fathers.

There was drama, there was bickering, and there were times where they didn't get along, just like with all siblings, but unlike what Impa described about her relationship with Purah, there was no 'but we love each other in the end' or 'and then we apologised and hugged it out' between Zelda and Duelia, only more scorn or them actively avoiding each other. The best they could hope for was a begrudging mutual respect, but that was all Zelda could find in her big sister's eyes. Respect, but no love, no warmth, no happiness.

It was a cold relationship.

Even so, Zelda couldn't help but wonder what happened to Duelia after Ganon's attack. How had she handled Zelda's absence? Did she herself survive?

So far, she could only wonder.

Author Notes:

Alternative Title: Zelda gay panics over Impa so hard it nearly gets them both killed.