Frieza frowned as he entered into the conference room and stared at the two intruders. One was biped, most likely mammalian, and the other was either a robot of some kind or he needed armor in order to function. Both were wearing suits and both rose the moment they spotted him, dropping down to one knee and bowing their heads.

'At least the wastes of time know how to grovel properly,' Frieza thought to himself. 'I do not have time for this. I am trying to become the most powerful being in the universe and these two fools decide that now is the perfect time to intrude?' His index finger twitched; it was taking all his willpower not to destroy them both. 'It would be so utterly easy… I could kill them before they even realized they were dead. A simple bolt right to their foreheads would do it… but no. I have no way of knowing if this isn't some trick by my father. It certainly feels like something he would do; send these two and have them claim I asked for them! I know I would never ask for this audit… I would never waste time on something like this! But… perhaps this is something that my father wants to happen.' Frieza mentally frowned; he never did understand all that his father had set up when it came to running the empire.

King Cold loved his layers of bureaucracy. He enjoyed having all sorts of different metrics and measurements to determine if everything was working exactly as it should be. He found pleasure in documents and forms and creating new ways to make things more complex than they needed to be, at least in Frieza's opinion. When he took over a planet it should be simple and easy: he came in, said the planet was his, slaughtered everyone that didn't move at once, and then handed it off to someone who gave him as much money as he wanted. Right to the point.

But instead he had to fill out forms and file them away in case the Galactic Space Patrol or the Omni King or some other busy body decided to throw a fit. He had to make sure that all his soldiers had health care and were getting money in their retirement funds. He had to make sure his ships were up to safety standards! It was one annoyance after the other. Yes, it had gotten better… he had been able to slice away much of it by replacing those he needed to with loyal men. When he had first started the mission to Namek would never have been allowed to occur because his father would have choked him with red tape. He still was going to be in for a tongue lashing… but that wouldn't matter because he would be immortal!

'Just need to wait a little bit more,' he thought darkly to himself before focusing on the two before him. "So… I am told you were the auditors." He pressed his hands against his mobile throne and slowly rose up. "Funny… I don't remember authorizing you two at all."

"I have the paperwork right here, my liege," the mammal said, never lifting his head and presenting a data pad.

Frieza frowned as he looked at the pad. It was a rather standard memo, written about by Zarbon stating that an audit would be performed of the command structure. Frieza breezed through it but then actually went back and reread it a second time and then a third. He recognized Zarbon's style in the document; only he could manage to make the most bland and boring of memos have a bit of 'flair' to it. It broke down how the auditors would come during a randomly selected time, mission or no mission, and that they were to look into the mid and lower management within the Frieza Force to ensure that proper communication was being performed and that the standards set up by Frieza himself (actually his father but Frieza never saw something he couldn't claim as his own and do so in a heartbeat) were being upheld.

And at the very bottom was his own signature.

It wasn't even his normal signature, the one he used on the grand proclamations or to sign off on official treaties and contracts. No… it was the quickly scrawled signature that he tended to use when he needed to write something down in a hurry. A hook-like shape with then a squiggly line that was both the dash to make the hook into an F and the rest of his name. It had come about purely by accident but it also was also something he was secretly proud of, as it worked quite well.

'How… how can this be?' he thought to himself in shock. 'It must me a fake! It just has to be!' But the moment he thought that he paused, thinking back to the time the pad said the order had been drafted. It had been 8 Galactic Months ago… a busy time for the Frieza Force. They had been dealing with the Veceear Lockdown, trying to claim their planet for the Deeveedees. They had been rather insistent that the planet be claimed quickly and Frieza himself had been forced to come to the system to determine just why his men hadn't done what he commanded. 'There were documents coming in every day that needed my signature. That was when I was also seeing to our expansion into the South Galaxy… then there were the upgrades to the Frieza Force Pods Mark 7.1… oh, and of course Cooler calling claiming I was the reason behind his latest failure…'

Frieza growled low in his throat.

'Zarbon must have presented this to me when my mind was on other things! He didn't even notice that I wasn't paying attention!' That actually happened quite often; Zarbon would arrive and say he had something urgent that he needed Frieza to look over but the Emperor of the Known Universe would brush him off, his mind on other things. 'He should have made clear that this was important! If he weren't dead already I would blast off his limbs and then jettison him out an airlock!'

He knew at once he couldn't cancel now. It wouldn't look good if he decided to stop something he himself had signed off on. It would make him look weak and ignorant. No… he would have to just go along with it, as much as he was loathed to consider that.

'Though…' he thought to himself before saying aloud, "Of course. Of course. It merely slipped my mind because, to be honest, we are dealing with quite a few important matters."

"Which is actually why we are here," the metal figure stated. "This mission serves as a 'stress test' of the systems that are in place."

"One that your underlings are already failing by bringing this to your attention," the mammalian stated.

"…explain," Frieza demanded.

The two never smiled. Never trembled either. Just were utterly… blank. Emotionless. Frieza wasn't quite sure how to react to that.

"You are Lord Frieza, Emperor of the Known Universe. An audit is far, far, far below your notice or need, my lord. We should, at worse, being taking to one of your managers. Whoever is in charge of directing personal. Bringing you to talk to us is like asking you to kill an insect found in the kitchen."

Frieza couldn't help but silently agree with that. "Well… we have… had some incidents as of late. Zarbon and Dodoria are no longer with us. I have yet to find replacements."

The two glanced at each other. "We weren't not informed of that. Of course, that does change the scoring you will receive for that section, as we will make that N/A at the moment. I assume it was recent."

"Within hours."

"Yes," the mammalian said, "then we will allow that to slide."

Frieza finally motioned for the two to rise up. "So you will see that this audit must be delayed. I do not have time to chaperone you."

"We do not require you, Lord Frieza, to do so," the mammalian answered. "We are simply going to be going through your comm channel records and transcripts. We won't even need to speak to a single soldier."

Frieza blinked at that. "I… was led to believe that you needed to speak to Zarbon."

"If he were here, yes. But since he is not we will be removing that section of the audit and only focus on the transcripts. Had we been informed of this properly we could have let your soldier know."

"Quite," Frieza said, debating if he should kill the minion that had rushed to him, screeching about the audit. "Then there is nothing else you need from me?"

"No. We will mail you the results in roughly a weeks' time, Lord Frieza. And if you have any questions we can schedule a meeting. But it is far better that you return to your missions."

Frieza stared at them before, with a sharp nod, he turned and hovered away. 'Well… that wasn't what I was expecting. Now if only all my men simply did their jobs like that, rather than wasting my time, I would be able to actually get things sorted out.' He wondered, after he became immortal, if he shouldn't promote those two to some higher level; not to the ranks of Zarbon and Dodoria, obviously, but perhaps the head of the auditors? It would be a good way to show all what happened when he was pleased-

Alarms began to blare and Frieza looked around, confused.

"Report!" he demanded, pressing the comm unit on his throne… only to get silence. He grit his teeth as he remembered that it was still disconnected to the network, everything locked down after that hacker had gotten in. He made his mobile throne move quickly through the halls before he finally found an underling. "What exactly is going on?"

"There are reports of an attack, Lord Frieza!" the underling said.

"Attack?" Frieza said, befuddled by that. "Who would be foolish enough to attack us?"

"We are trying to determine that, my lord-"

But Frieza's confusion had become anger at that point and he grit his teeth in utter OUTRAGE at the insult that had been shown to him. He was Frieza! Emperor of the Known Universe! These foolish Namekians had already shown their disrespect by trying to hide away their Dragon Balls, refusing to allow Frieza to achieve what was his right. But now they were attacking his ship. HIS SHIP!?

He would destroy them all!

"Find where those fools are!" Frieza roared. "Find them now!"

And when they were found… he would make them pay.

~MC~MC~MC~

"I have searched the internet, sir, and I believe the phrase I am looking for to describe what you just did is that you have 'balls of steel'."

"Better than Dragon Balls, I suppose," I said as I got up and at once waved my hand, changing my appearance to that of Captain Ginyu. "You have tapped into their new comm frequency?"

Isco shot me a glance that I knew, for him, was filled with reproach. "Sir, please. The defenses they have… it would be like asking you before you got your magic to stop Goku from getting to a plate of burgers."

"So none, got it," I said as I checked to make sure I looked just right and waiting for Isco to give me the signal. 'Honestly, at this point the Scroll of Knowledge is just cheating.'

Others would have assumed that the Scroll would have only been able to tell me where Frieza was hiding the Dragon Ball. But I had realized that it could do so much else, so long as I asked it the right questions. Rather than merely pressing it for a verbal answer I asked for drawings… and it was able to provide that. A map of Frieza's ship, showing just where the Dragon Ball was. That had been all I needed to see to know exactly how to use the Scroll to its fullest.

Such as asking to see what Frieza's signature looked like.

Isco had been able to get to all of the documents Zarbon had made and create a quick memo generator that created something that read like his own work. I had been able to forge Frieza's signature easily enough; an old trick I had learned when I had been learning how to perform cons, was that it was easier to forge a signature if you turned it upside-down. That caused the brain to treat it not as letters but shapes, which were FAR easier to trace. I'd signed the document and Isco had backlogged it, easily making it look like it was several months old. Checking with the scroll for some of the busiest times within the last time for the Frieza Force had found a period where Frieza had been signing off hurriedly on a lot of documents… and we had our ruse.

"Currently Ginyu is reporting that he is off to confront Lord Guru, who is still lumbering towards him. The rest of his men are unaware of that and he believes they are still fighting, which is rather true."

"And the hardlight?"

Isco turned his head and projected an image of myself in my suit reading over some documents. "I must admit that I never considered making this device sir… what inspired it?"

"Yugi Muto. Met him when I had to deal with multiverse stuff. Alright, am I a go?"

"…now you are," he said just as another alarm went off.

I paused before, on the spur of the moment, I turned my head into that of Beetlejuice.

"It's Showtime."

~MC~MC~MC~

Yamcha leapt back as Jeice launched himself at him, snarling and growling like a dog. "I think you might have broken something in him, Goku!" the scarred faced bandit called out.

He had arrived to help Goku and swap out with Avo only to find the fight wasn't at all what he expected. Rather than dealing with some smart mouthed punk that was vain and arrogant the soldier, called Jeice he had learned, had flown at them with his armor broken, his face bloodied, and his eyes devoid of anything other than the drive to pummel them all into dust. There had been no words, no proclamations… just Jeice snarling as he began to attack with a flurry of kicks and punches.

"Heheh, I guess I don't know my own strength!" Goku joked before growing serious. They had tried to both take him on at the same time only for Jeice to block their blows seemingly without any effort! Yamcha would go in for a hit, powered up with a brief burst of Kaio-Ken, only for Jeice to smack his arm at just the right moment to cause his blow to miss him. "Though… he is pretty tough too. We need to make sure we don't let our guards down."

"Don't worry, I won't," Yamcha said before focusing on the fight. 'Alright, so we have him so angry that he's just going on pure instinct. Normally I'd say that was a great thing, that it meant that we were in for an easy fight… but with this guy I don't know.' He dodged a few blows that Jeice sent his way. 'Can someone become a better fighter, just on instinct?'

'They can!'

'M-master Roshi?'

It was only because Goku had moved in to take on Jeice that Yamcha didn't end up getting punched in the face. It was startling to hear his first true instructor talking to him; he was used to King Kai occasionally popping up in his head, usually asking if he had any suggestions on how to change his car's oil, but Roshi was a surprise that hit him like a thunderbolt! While he had heard from Roshi once, back when he had first died, the old man hadn't really talked to them after they had begun to make towards Namek and Yamcha honestly had let it slip his mind that he was with King Kai.

'Heheh, good ta see ya haven't forgotten about me, Yamcha! Or maybe ya did and that's why ya are shocked? No matter! Ya got a fight ya need ta focus on! And you're right, someone CAN become a better fighter when they are just fighting with their minds shut off!'

'Its called Ultra Instinct,' King Kai informed him. 'It's a rare state of self, where a fighter doesn't even think about their moves. They are moving so quick because they are so well trained. Their brains can't even keep up!'

'Wow… is… is that what this guy is doing?'

King Kai… began to laugh.

Yamcha grit his teeth in frustration. 'King Kai!'

'Hahahahaha! I'm… I'm sorry!' There was pause. 'Wait, no I'm not!' And then he burst into more laughter.

Yamcha glowered at that. 'Are you two here to help me or are you here to mock me? Because if it's the latter I have a fight I need to finish!'

'Now now, no need ta get all tense and angry!' Roshi stated. 'We're here ta help ya! But ya have ta let two old men have their fun.'

'Old?' King Kai said, offended. 'I'm not old! I'm a spring chicken!'

'Come on, I've seen your drivers license!' Master Roshi complained. 'You are 762!'

'And the Glind can live to 75,000 years old!' King Kai retorted.

'…wait, so my wingman is a baby?'

Jeice let out a scream of rage and frustration and began to pound into Goku even harder. Yamcha tensed, ready to leap in at a moment's notice… but Goku was moving just as quick to counter his blows! More surprising was the way his Ki was acting. The aura of his energy was beginning to build around him but there were sparks to it, like little bolts of lightning that shot off from the 'cloud' that was Goku's ki. And every time he managed to block a blow from hitting him more sparks began to gather around his body.

'I am not a baby!' King Kai screeched.

'Aw, look whose having a temper tantrum. Maybe we should put you down for a nap…'

'I do not need a nap!' King Kai screamed.

'Guys!' Yamcha mentally bellowed. 'We are dealing with some problems here! You two told me to focus on the fight and you then do all you can to make me NOT focus?!'

'Right, right,' Roshi said, snapping out of his teasing. While many wouldn't believe it, based on his reputation, Roshi COULD be serious if the situation demanded it. 'Alright, so the Ginyu Force member you are fightin', Jeice, you and Goku have him so frustrated that he's now just reacting on pure instinct, which is allowin' him ta be faster than all of ya! So what ya need ta do is break him out of that mind set.'

'And how do we do that.'

'Make him more angry.'

'…that isn't advice!' Yamcha snapped.

'It is so advice!'

'Make him more angry?! You want me to make him even stronger!'

Master Roshi huffed. 'No, that ain't what I want. Ya even payin' attention ta a word I'm sayin'? He right now has shut down his mind's higher thinkin', focusin' only on defeating you. That means that he is ignorin' everythin' else he doesn't see as a threat. He don't realize there are other dangers because he's only pegged onta you and Goku… mostly Goku-'

'Hey!' Yamcha complained. 'I know people like to joke about how strong Goku has gotten but I've gotten stronger too! Thanks to the Kaio-Ken I am able to go toe-to-toe with him!'

'I was GONNA say that he's mostly focused on Goku as it was his Kamehameha that injured him in the first place.'

Yamcha's shoulders drooped at that. 'Right.' He glanced back and saw that Goku was still managing to hold off Jeice's attacks. He wasn't able to get in a single blow himself but he wasn't getting hit all that much. A few strikes, sure, but not much else. 'Which only means that this will become a fight of endurance… and I don't know if Goku will be able to keep this up with him getting blows like that! I need to tag it-'

'Ya need ta keep Goku near Jeice!' King Kai declared.

'Wha-what?" Yamcha said, startled.

'Use your eyes, Yamcha… don't you see?'

Yamcha watched as Goku continued to deflect and block the blows that Jeice was sending his way. 'He is just managing to keep up… but shots are getting past his defenses. A kick here, a slap there. I can tell he's beginning to get hurt. And when that all adds up Jeice will be able to deal a really heavy blow!' But as he thought that he looked at Goku's aura… and saw that occasionally the little bolts of electricity would strike Jeice's own pulsing aura… and come back a bit bigger.

His eyes widened.

'Goku is stealing his Ki!'

Master Roshi spoke up, clearly proud. 'Not sure if it is somethin' he learned from that other world or him tryin' ta adapt Avo's White Flag technique, but Goku has begun to subconsciously leech Ki from his opponents.'

'Which means that if he can last long enough he could drain Jeice down completely while making himself stronger.' But any excitement he felt for that died away as he considered just what that meant. 'But… he has to last long enough…'

'Which is why you need to keep Jeice from realizing what is happening! Keep him angry! But also keep him from blowing apart Goku!'

'But how do I do that?' Yamcha asked. 'You just said that I need to keep him close to Jeice, so he can continue the drain without Jeice realizing it!'

'Come on!' Roshi snapped. 'You are the Scarred Face Bandit, ain't ya? Ya are used ta dealin' with people bigger and stronger than ya!'

'He's actually shorter than-' But Yamcha stopped and considered his teacher's words.

The Scarred Face Bandit.

Master of TRAPS.

Yamcha smirked suddenly, looking down at his hands.

'Alright… I think I have a few ideas.'

~MC~MC~MC~

"How bad is this?" Senza asked as he and Nail raced toward the monstrously massive form of Lord Guru.

"Very bad," Nail stated. "Taking on one's giant form… it strains the body, badly."

"Yeah," Senza murmured, remembering his time as King Piccolo. 'Goku always wondered why I didn't take that form more often… but the stress it put on me made it almost as bad as losing!' After the fight with Vegeta and Nappa his Piccolo half had been left feeling like he'd been run over by a truck. And there was the way that it messed with him mentally. Suddenly changing sizes meant that you had to be hyper focused on what your limbs did; that was why those that reached giant size could be suddenly clumsy while those that shrunk down would be wobbly and dizzy, finding that their limbs seemed to flail about wildly when they did the simplest of tasks. It didn't last long… one could quickly adjust, especially if they worked to master the process, but it still was a problem. And worst was the feeling of fatigue that always hit. Piccolo had said after the battle he was going to meditate… and then promptly passed out the moment he was alone and slept for 8 hours straight.

It wasn't a move to be used lightly.

"Lord Guru," Nail continued, "was already nearing the end of his life. His body was failing him, growing weaker by the day. It is why he stopped going for walks… when I first began to train with him he would always take me around our plateau, teaching me so many things as we looked about our planet. But now he just remains in his chair… even lifting his arms was a struggle. So… doing this…"

"He's going to die," Senza said softly.

"Yes," Nail whispered. "I'm not ready for him to go…"

And then his face twisted into cold determination.

"And these invaders are going to pay for rushing him to his final rest."

Senza though quickly spoke up, "Do not let your grief blind you and lead you to joining him. He chose to do this because he saw the threat the Ginyu Force poses… don't forget that they are powerful."

"Perhaps," Nail stated, "but maybe they should think the same thing about me."

And with that he blasted off.

~MC~MC~MC~

Ginyu looked up at the massive form of the Namekian and shook his head. "Guldo Guldo Guldo… so utterly reckless." He sighed before rolling his neck. "Hello my large friend!"

The huge Namekian turned his gaze towards him.

"I am Captain Ginyu of the Ginyu Force. And-"

"You… are not my friend," the large Namekian declared. "You are an invader who has slain my people."

"Well… it is true that some of the forces that came to this planet were a touch too violent with your people… but you can not claim that all of us are violent monsters. You haven't even gotten to know me!" he flashed a charming smile. "I assure you that if we just talked we could come to an understanding! Now then… let us start with who you are, exactly. After all, it is only polite for you to introduce yourself."

The massive Namekian sniffed. "I… am Lord Guru. Protector of this Planet. And I smell the blood of my fellow Namekians upon you."

Ginyu frowned, realizing that Lord Guru must have been able to sniff out the trickle of blood that had dripped from Toblin's mouth after Ginyu had snapped his neck.

"…well then, I suppose the time for negotiations is over." And with that he flared out his aura and launched himself at the giant. "And the time of violence is at hand!" With that he cocked back his fist and punched Lord Guru square in the chin.

The massive Namekian clearly hadn't believed that Ginyu had the power to fight him; he paid for that mistake. His head snapped back and Ginyu smirked, rather pleased that his punch had managed to level-

Lord Guru's head slowly rolled back down, his mouth set in a frown.

Ginyu sneered before he fired a Ki blast right at the giant Namekian's face, right between his eyes. He would bring down the massive green slug, no matter what!

Guru's hand snapped out and Ginyu felt his world explode into pain as he was hit from both sides. It was like being caught between two crashing spaceships and the moment the hands fell away Ginyu dropped to the ground, every bit of him aching.

"I won't lie," Ginyu said as he slowly got to his feet, "that… hurt. Still… I am not one to allow myself to give in when I face a touch of adversity. I will-"

Guru slammed his foot down.

Ginyu saw the shoe coming at him and quickly thrust his hands downward, blasting into the bedrock. He just managed to dive down into the tunnel he created in time, the entire surface of the planet trembling under the impact of the blow. Lighting up his hand, he fired off another blast, arcing this strike upward before, just as quickly he twisted and charged up a larger attack.

He could see it in his mind's eye. The giant Namekian turning his head towards the point where Ginyu's blast had shot out of the ground, preparing for a strike…

Ginyu fired his second blast back the way he had come… right at Guru's foot.

Light suddenly flared out and Ginyu rocketed from the tunnel and burst back to the surface, ready to attack Guru as he hopped about on one good foot.

That… didn't happen.

Instead Ginyu looked up to see that while the bottom of his shoe was scorched his foot looked perfectly fine… and Guru brought it down hard, Ginyu forced to brace his legs and lift up his hands as he caught the foot just as it crashed down upon him. He strained hard as he worked to fight against the crushing pressure that Guru was bringing down upon him.

"I will not allow you to harm another one of my people," Guru declared. "And if I must stomp out each and every one of you invaders individually in order to do so… I shall!"

Ginyu grit his teeth as he tried to force the foot up. 'I need… I need to do something… because if I don't this bastard will turn me into a smear upon the planet's surface! I refuse though to give in… I refuse to allow this to be my end! I will fight with everything I have and when I am done his corpse will be laid out for all to see! That is my promise… and Captain Ginyu… always makes good on his promises!'

~MC~MC~MC~

I moved through the halls of Frieza's ship at a quick pace, stretching out my legs as far as they could and making sure that my features showed a bit of worry but not enough that I would be 'undignified'. I knew that Captain Ginyu was someone that was expressive but also understood his position.

'Can't be too calm… I need to have Frieza believing that things have taken a bad turn. But I can't be in a full blown panic either. That will cause his to react with violence and I have no idea if even White Flag can absorb a Frieza attack.' That was the biggest danger… that I would get cocky and think I could take on fucking Frieza. Even Goku at his strongest had needed a mythical title to manage to take him on. 'Granted, I have a mythical title hanging over my head but really not feeling like discovering if I become the Silver Sorcerer if Frieza blasts me really, really hard.'

One positive I was seeing to everything going on around me was that there were far less soldiers than I had expected. That told me that Frieza had suffered far more loses than I had been expecting. Senza and Nail and Raditz had been working to take down as many Frieza soldiers as they could and that had me hopefully that they had eliminated enough that when we did have to finally deal with the tyrant he wouldn't be able to throw waves and waves of soldiers at us in the hopes of wearing us down.

Turning a corner the scanner I was wearing warned I was approaching an insanely high power level and I swallowed.

'Here we go,' I thought before rushing into the room and falling into a kneeling position.

"Lord Frieza!"

"Ginyu? What… what are you doing here?" Frieza asked, surprised by 'Ginyu's' appearance.

"The Namekians… I discovered how they have managed to hide from us! This undeveloped planet… it is all a ruse, my lord! A trick the Namekians pull to hide the truth from all! There is an entire underground kingdom, right beneath our feet!" Alarms began to blare again. "That must be how they are attacking us… I escaped from one of their tunnels to inform you-"

Isco, bless him, activated some of the explosives I'd Sling Ringed under the ship, causing it to rock and tremble violently.

"They are trying to come up from right below us!" I declared.

I glanced up to see Frieza frowning at that. "And… why wasn't I informed of this?"

I frowned at that; he had just been informed-

"Because it's a lie."

I twisted my head and stared at the fucking Namekian who was glowering at me as he stood off to the side.

'Oh… Kami Damn It.'