The Beginning The first episode of my fanon.
Plot
The title gag is "In color." It's colour you stupid Yanks!
The Old timey cartoon on the screen that the Planet Express ship crashes into is Little Buck Cheese. Hopefully they reference Owl Johlson eventually.
...
The episode begins!
We're watching a video game of a rocket in space.
"Space." Woooooo! Star Trek reference! Fry, the main character is narrating. "It seems to go on and on forever... but then you get to the end... and a gorilla starts throwing barrels at you." Cooooool! Fry is fighting a boss battle.
He gets a game over.
"And that's how you play the game." said Fry playing a video game. An arcade machine video game.
"You stink, loser." said a very rude little blond boy.
Oscar, my OC. A brown haired boy wearing green goggles and a blue sweater glared at the rude boy. Oscar was slurping his soda and eating a pizza.
"Hey, Fry! Pizza going out. Come on!" The abrasive owner of Panucci's Pizza wearing a vest yelled. "Tsk, tsk, tsk."
Fry took the pizza and beers to deliver them to the customer who ordered them.
There was a scruffy looking dog waiting outside for Fry. It groaned and whined.
"I can't play with you now Seymour. I'm working." said Fry as he went off to deliver the pizza and beers.
Seymour whined.
Oscar standing in the doorway of the restaurant laughed. "Seymour..." He pulled from hammer space a Venus flytrap like plant in a pot.
"Feed meeeee! Feed me Seymour!" said the plant.
Oscar chuckled.
Seymour groaned and slept.
Meanwhile The aggressive owner of Pannucci's Pizza noticed the rude blond boy was only in his establishment to play on the arcade machines.
"Hey kid! (Whistles) Are you gonna order something? Come oooooon!"
"Okay... I'll have a pepperoni pizza. Loser..." said the rude kid.
Oscar glared at the boy while eating his pizza, Hawaiian was his chosen topping.
Elsewhere Fry saw his girlfriend Michelle driving off with another man.
"Michelle! Baby!"
"Fry!" said Michelle.
She didn't give him time to assess the situation.
"Fry it's not working out. I've dumped your things outside on the porch." Heartless wench...
Fry was depressed.
"Ha! Loser." said the rude blond kid. Someone kill him...
Later Fry is riding his bike to wherever his customer lives.
"I hate my life, I hate my life, I hate my life." He moaned depressed.
"I love my life. And I'm gonna keep living it to spite that jerk Hank..." said Oscar.
Cousin Hank seethed.
Then suddenly Coach from Nintendo's Punch Out stole his bike.
"Hey!" Fry yelled. Luckily he still had the pizza and beer. And no sewer dwelling turtles didn't order it...
Oscar walking about and eating pizza chuckled. "Turtles..."
The rude blond kid winced at him.
Outside Applied Cryogenics Lab. a lab where they freeze people.
"Thot looks like my bike. said Fry, "And some ghosts are beating up that jerk who stole it!"
The KKK were beating up Coach from Punch out.
Fry whistled and chained up his bike.
"Well here's where the receipt tells me to go." said Fry. He went inside.
However a bike thief cut his bike chain and stole his bike.
"Happy New Year!" The jerk cheered and left.
Oscar then arrived. "I have to follow the main character around." He explained as he went inside the cryogenics lab.
...
Inside Fry took the elevator. Oscar not wanting to be seen missed it.
"D'oh!" Oscar groaned. He would have to take the stairs.
Fry arrived on the 64th floor. He had been subjected to cringeworthy elevator music.
He shivered in disgust.
Oscar exhausted was climbing the stairs.
"Oh my thighs are chaffing!" Oscar groaned.
Fry fount a room labelled Applied Cryogenics lan. No power cuts since 1997. Someone hastily stuck a 7 on the date because a power cut must have happened then.
"Hello?" Fry asked as he looked around. However no one was in the room. Well apart from unconscious test subjects in the pods.
Tall pods lined the room.
Fry went up to the windows. They had condensation clouding them.
He wiped off some of the condensation and looked out at New York. He sighed. It was New Years Eve and he was alone and working. He's girlfriend had left him, his job was terrible and some jerk had taken his bike. Okay he doesn't know about that yet.
"Okay sir..." He asked but no one answered.
"Who even ordered this food?" Fry looked at the customer's name on the receipt.
"I C Weiner." Hehehe! Icy wiener... or weiner as Bart insists on spelling it...
"Aw crap! A prank call... I thought I would one day be making prank calls..." Fry sighed.
He sat at one of the tables and decided since the pizza and beers had no customer to go to he might as well eat the pizza and drink the beers. They'll only go in the garbage otherwise.
Elsewhere Oscar finished climbing the stairs. "Uhh... (panting) Some New Years Eve this is..." He groaned.
Fry was in the laboratory with the pods drinking beer. "Here's to a lousy millennium...
Then there's the countdown to the new year.
The Final Count Dooooooown! Ahem sorry...
London.
"Ten!"
Big Ben is at 10 o'clock.
Paris, France.
"Neuf!" cheered the French as they ate frogs and snails.
The Vatican. The Pope holds up a sign reading "VIII"
"Otto!" said the Italians.
"Yeah? Someone call me?" Otto the school bus driver from the Simpsons made a cameo.
Egypt.
"Sabaa!" said Ancient Egyptians, in the present somehow! It's 1999 AD! Not 2001 BC you fools! Yes BC years count backwards.
"We don't worship the pyramids anymore you infidels! We worship Allah now!" Modern day Egyptians yelled at the Ancients.
Greece, outside the Pantheon. Again with Ancient Greeks still alive...
"Eksi!" said the Greeks in togas...
China, the Great Wall.
"Wu!"
They wouldn't do the number four because it means Death in their culture.
Also there were Genghis Khan Mongolians there still...
India, the Taj Mahal.
"Chaar!" said the Indians. They were riding flying carpets for some reason.
A tribe in Africa.
"Thathu!" They said three in their language.
Tokyo.
"Ni!" They cheered.
We are the knights who say Ni!
Then the Earth itself.
"One!"
Happy New Year!
However this is the 2000 millennium. So the millennium bug infected everything from Homer's computer in Springfield and of course we're absolutely screwed.
Fry was unaware of this ad he blew a party horn to call in the new year.
However he stumbled as his chair fell backwards because he leaned on it and he fell into one of the pods and was locked in. The pod was automatically set to 1000 years in frozen status. Basically Fry would be stuck for a thousand years.
Fry screamed and panicked but was frozen in time.
He didn't see the small creature under the table when he fell. Spoilers! It's Nibbler!
Elsewhere Oscar entered the cryogenic lab not seeing Nibbler leave while jabbering in high pitched gibberish.
Oscar went in.
"Oooooooh!" He looked at all the pods, the lab equipment and someone's half eaten pizza and beers left behind.
He looked in the pods. He smirked amused because in one was Boris from Goldeneye.
Im another was Jack Nicholson's character from The Shining. Still crouching and icy.
And that lady from Planet of the Apes was in another. You know the scary mummified corpse lady.
Then he found Fry.
Oscar tutted.
"I'm sorry, pal. But I get the feeling if I interfere and free you. That causes bad things, really bad things like the universe collapsing." said Oscar.
He Left and found some other way to travel a thousand years into the future.
...
Meanwhile time passed. In fact centuries passed while Fry was frozen.
During this passage of time, Aliens invaded in flying saucers and blasted everything to pieces. Uh rude!
Then survivors rebuilt cities in a second medieval times.
Then the aliens invaded again and blasted everything to pieces again. Bad aliens! Bad!
Eventually... In the year 2999. New Years Eve morning.
Ding! Fry is thawed.
He woke up to find himself in a futuristic looking laboratory. With clinical white walls because in the future Apple decided everyone's internal decorating.
He looked around baffled. "Uh?"
"Welcome to the world of tomorrooooooow!" declared a blond scientist wearing glasses.
"Oh shut up!" Fry yelled at him. Trust me, Terry is extremely annoying.
Fry looked around.
Hover cars buzz about outside like insects. Cars can fly now.
Fry looked in awe at the future world outside. He eventually gathered he had woken up in the future.
"My God! It's the future. My parents, my co-workers, my girlfriend; I'll never see any of them again." He realised feeling a bit glum. "Yahoo!" He cheered elated. Um okay...
Suddenly Oscar bursted into the laboratory with the pods. "No! Google!"
Fry winced exasperated and we cut to the opening credits.
...
Applied Cryogenics laboratory. But a thousand years later.
Fry was gawking at Oscar's bizarre entrance.
Oscar was doing armpit fart sounds.
Suddenly that dumb blond haired geek Terry arrived and said his catchphrase again.
"Welcome to the world of tomorrooooooow!" He yelled.
"Terry do you always have to say it that way...?" Another scientist groaned.
"Yes. Haven't you heard of theatrics?" Terry replied.
"Stranger, your destiny awaits!" said Terry.
"Have a nice future." said the more down to earth scientist.
When they left, Fry looked at the doors. They slid open either horizontally or vertically and hissed. Like Star Trek doors.
"Cool! Just like Star Trek." said Fry.
The Door shuts on him. Or tries to. "Ow!" Fry groaned.
Oscar laughed hysterically.
We cut to a small office.
Fry is being interviewed by a purple haired lady with one big eye. He couldn't help but stare at her...
"Good afternoon sir. Can we interest you in some chocolaaaate?" said the lady.
"Chocolate? Did you say chocolate?" Fry asked enraged over chocolate for some daft reason.
"Yes sir. With or without nuts?" The lady asked.
"Chocolate! Chocolate! CHOCOLAAAAAAATE! CHOCOLAAAAAAATE!" Fry screamed.
Leela was alarmed by him screaming about chocolate.
And that brings us to the end of the first act.
Plot 2
Eventually Fry was sedated. So Leela could interview him properly.
"Good afternoon, sir." said Leela. Ask him if he wants chocolaaate! "Mmm... Name?"
"Uh... Fry." Fry replied.
"I'm Leela." said Leela. "Now, it's New Year's Eve... so I'd like to decide your fate quickly and get out of here." She really wants the rest of the day off...
"Can I ask you a question?" Fry asked.
"As long as it's not about my eye." Leela sighed. I get the impression people woken up from the past are curious about her eye...
"Uh..." Fry stammered.
"Is it about my eye?" Leela sighed.
"Sort of." said Fry.
Leela sighed annoyed. "Just ask the question."
"What's with the eye?" Fry asked.
"I'm an alien, all right?" Leela replied annoyed. "Let's drop the subject."
"Aye aye Ma'am! Or in your case, just aye… gahahahaha!" Oscar laughed.
Leela muttered vexed with him.
"Cool. An alien. Has your race taken over the earth?" Fry asked. Uh what an odd question!
"No. I just work here." said Leela.
Fry gawked at the blimp floating about outside.
"Wait a minute. Is that blimp accurate?" Fry asked.
"Yup. It's December 31, 2999." said Leela.
"My God. A million years." said Fry.
"It's a thousand years! Doofus!" Oscar snarked.
"I'm sure this must be very upsetting for you." said Leela coldly.
"You know, I guess it should be... but actually I'm glad. I had nothing to live for in my old life. I was broke. I had a humiliating job... and I was beginning to suspect... my girlfriend might be cheating on me." said Fry.
"Well, at least here you'll be treated with dignity. Now, strip naked and get on the probulator." said Leela.
Fry winced unnerved and uncomfortable.
"I'm not kidding." said Leela.
"I was afraid you'd say that..." Fry whimpered.
"What are you, gay?!" Oscar frowned.
...
Fry was probed. He yelped but the process was unseen and implied to be mostly painless.
"Oooooh!"
Oscar who was waiting outside the room laughed when he heard Fry yelp.
Fry was dressed again and being interviewed by Leela again.
"Interesting. Your DNA test shows one living relative. He's your great-great-great-great-great-great-great..."
[Time Lapse. Fry is now fully dressed.]
"...great-great-great-great-great nephew." said Leela.
"That's great! What's the little guy's name?" Fry asked.
"Professor Hubert Farnsworth." said Leela.
She gave him a picture of Professor Farnsworth. He is an old wrinkly old man.
"Eeeeeugh!" said Fry.
He is then assigned the best job he can do.
"You know the future isn't as bad as I thought it would be." said Fry. A machine buzzed. "What was that.
"The machine has determined your permanent career assignment." said Leela.
Fry was horrified. The career assignment machine decided he was to be a delivery boy.
"But I don't want to be a delivery boy! Check it again!" Fry whined grabbing Leela's arm.
"Take your filly hand off me! You damn dirty past human!" Leela pulled free of him aggressively. "You've been assigned a career you are best at."
"What if I refuse." Fry asked in a huff.
"Then you'll be fired." said Leela.
"Fine." said Fry.
"Out of a cannon, into the sun." said Leela.
"That's just outrageous and cruel! I will not allow that." Oscar snapped.
"I'm sorry but it's the law." said Leela.
"Then the law stinks." Oscar snapped.
"But I don't like being a delivery boy." Fry whined.
"Well, that's tough. Lots of people don't like their jobs but we do them anyway. "You gotta do what you gotta do."" said Leela.
Fry sighed bitterly.
"Now hold out your hand." said Leela.
"Why?" Fry asked.
"I'm going to implant your career chip. It'll permanently label you as a delivery boy." Leela explained.
"Keep that thing away from me." Fry darted about.
"Hold still, damn it! I don't have good depth perception." Leela yelled.
Fry darted about.
Leela stumbled and fell into a cryogenic pod. She was stuck.
"You've got to the count of five to let me out of here. One..." She was frozen.
"See you in a thousand years." Fry chuckled.
Oscar smirked wickedly.
But Fry felt sorry for Leela. He adjusted the pod so she'd wake up twenty five minutes later. "You owe me one."
He escaped.
...
Fry and Oscar ran about New New York. Familiarising themselves with this strange new world.
"Whoa." Fry looked about a hover cars buzzed about overhead. And people travelled about in tubes.
"Radio City Mutant Hall." A guy asked the transport tube and he was whisked off somewhere.
"Cool." said Fry. He then asked the tube to take him somewhere. "Uh, cross-town express." He was whisked off somewhere. Even underwater where there were Blinky the Three eyed fish!
"Whoo-hoo! Yaah... Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo! Oomp!" He cheered before being hurled at a wall as he exited the tube.
"Pfft. Tourist." said some guy.
Fry and Oscar walked about the streets of New New York.
Oscar had stuffed pencils up his nose. Fry gawked at him.
"Kallae Kistnaaaeee!" Oscar rasped.
"Are you mentally ill?!" Fry asked in an icy tone.
"No I'm Spongebob!" said Oscar.
Fry was deeply concerned.
"Anyway, where are your folks?" Fry asked.
"My parents were kidnapped by cyborg-pagan satanists." said Oscar.
Fry gawked.
Oscar was hallucinating frogs with funny hats, bells ringing and screaming leprechauns. Because he is batpoop friggin insane.
Fry found a queue of people and robots waiting outside a booth.
"Hey, a phone booth. I can call my nephew." said Fry. He noticed a robot in front of him.
"Whoa. A real-live robot. Or is that some kind of cheesy New Year's costume?" He gawked at the robot.
"Bite my shiny metal ass." said the robot.
"It doesn't look so shiny to me." said Fry.
"Shinier than yours, meat bag." said the robot.
In another universe where Bender was created out of gold instead.
"Whoa. A real-live robot. Or is that some kind of cheesy New Year's costume?" Alternate universe Fry gawked at the robot.
"Bite my glorious golden ass." said the robot.
"It doesn't look so glorious to me." said Fry.
"More glorious than yours, meat bag." said the robot.
Anyway the phone booth wasn't a phone booth. It was a suicide booth where people go to die! Fry didn't notice people entering the booth never left...
Once it was his turn he just chatted to the machine trying to get it to call his nephew.
"Hey buddy it's been a long day, let's try for a twofer.
"Would you like slow and painful or quick and painless?" asked the suicide booth.
Fry jabbered and the machine interpreted this as...
"You have chosen slow and painful..."
Death gadgets like chainsaws and hands holding knives etc came out.
"Oh good choice!" said Bender.
Fry screamed in horror.
...
Oscar went about New New York.
He went to a gun store.
"What can I gets yous..." The fat red neck trucker guy who later annoys Leela was willing to serve him. The future is screwed up with the unemployed fired into the sun etc.
"A Franchi SPAS shotgun." Oscar asked.
"It's Italian so it's pump action and automatic." said the shopkeeper.
"A pair of Uzi 9 millimetres." said Oscar.
The shopkeeper put some Uzis on the counter.
"Anything else?"
"A phased plasma rifle in the 44 watt range." said Oscar.
"Luckily for you kid we have these in this millennium." said the shopkeeper handing over a phased plasma rifle.
"And a laser sight handgun." said Oscar.
"Just point the red dot at what you want to hit and pull the trigger." said the store keeper.
"Now you just need to fill out a psyche report and... (Oscar was loading the shotgun with shells.) Hey you can't do that!" said the shopkeeper.
"Wrong!" Oscar shot him dead with the shotgun.
He then left equipped with a shotgun, two Uzis, a phased plasma rifle and a laser sight handgun and plenty of ammunition.
Dark very serious thriller movie music played as he walked towards the fourth wall with a serious dark glare on his face.
In the suicide booth.
Fry screamed.
"Bring it on, baby! Come on. Come on! kill me already." said Bender. "By the way, my name's Bender."
"Help! What's happening?" Fry screamed.
"You are now dead. Thank you for using Stop-And-Drop... America's favorite su1c1de booth since 2008." Yeah lots of salty right wing fascists annoyed the democrats won...
"Lousy, stinking rip-off. Well, I didn't have anything else planned for today. Let's go get drunk." said Bender.
Fry was traumatised.
Meanwhile at Applied Cryogenics Lab.
"Two, three... hey!" Leela was thawed.
"Welcome to the world of tomorrow." Terry was being annoying again.
"Shut up, Terry." Leela snapped.
She was then in her boss's office being chewed out.
"This is unacceptable, Leela. You must find this Mr. Fry and install his chip." said some Indian man. With an exaggerated accent...
"Look, he's just a nobody... who doesn't want to be a delivery boy. I'd really rather not force it on him." Leela sighed.
"Well, that's your job whether you like it or not... and it's my job to make you do your job... whether I like it or not... Which I do... very much." said the boss. "Now, get to work!"
Leela left.
"Life is good." said the boss relaxing.
...
A tavern that robots are allowed in.
Fry and Bender are drinking beer.
"Why does a robot need to drink?" Fry asked.
"I don't need to drink... I can quit when I want..." said Bender. He belched fire.
"Anyway at least this bar allowed you in. Not like that one in Tunisia they relocated to New New York..." said Fry.
A few moments after the suicide booth, Fry and Bender tried to go in the Mos Eisley Cantina.
Cantina theme music plays.
Fry and Bender entered and saw all the aliens drinking.
"Hey! We don't serve robots! He'll have to wait outside!" said the barkeep.
Fry shrugged at Bender.
And that brings us to the end of Act 2!
Plot 3
Back in the tavern Bender could drink at.
Fry watched Bender gulp down vast amounts of alcohol.
"So, they made you a delivery boy, huh?" Bender asked Fry.
Fry sighed.
"Man, that's as bad as my job." said Bender as he drank beer.
"Really? What do you do, Bender?" Fry asked.
"I'm a bender... I bend girders. That's all I'm programmed to do." said Bender.
"You any good at it?" Fry asked.
"You kidding? I was a stud. I could bend a girder to any angle. 30 degrees... 32 degrees... you name it. 31... but I couldn't go on living... once I found out... what the girders were for." Bender explained then sighed.
"What?" Fry asked.
"suicide booths." Bender sighed. He finished his beer that um someone paid for. Or he ran up his tab. "Well, Fry, it was a pleasure meeting you. I'm going to go kill myself." That's an odd thing to say!
"Wait... you're the only friend I have." Fry begged.
"You really want a robot for a friend?" Bender asked.
"Yeah, ever since I was six." said Fry. Hehehe! Cute!
"Well, okay. But I don't want people thinking we're robosexuals... so if anyone asks, you're my de-bugger." said Bender.
Oscar hiding under the table cracked up laughing. "Hehehehe! Debugger..."
"Kid why are you hiding?" Fry asked.
"Because I'm not allowed in a bar..." said Oscar.
The robot bartender cleaned the glasses.
"Hey Bender! Your tab! Remember?!" said the bartender.
"Shut up!" Bender snapped.
"Ugh... Security..." said the robot bar tender.
Fry then saw Leela snooping about. So he joined Oscar under the table.
"Oh, no, it's the cyclops." said Fry.
Bender was looking out the window at Leela.
"Don't look. Don't look!" said Fry frantically.
"I'm not looking." Bender extended his telescopic eyes...
...
"This is Officer 1 -B-D-I requesting backup." said Leela.
"We'll be there in five minutes." said the buck toothed, snotty sounding cop and URL, a robot cop with a cool voice.
"Awwww yeah..." said URL.
Fry, Oscar and Bender fled out the back.
"We can hide in here. It's free on Tuesdays." said Bender taking Fry and Oscar into the Head museum.
There were the heads of celebrities in jars.
Leonard Nimoy greeted them.
"Welcome to the Head Museum. I'm Leonard Nimoy." said Leonard Nimoy.
"Spock? Hey, do the thing." Fry asked him to do the Vulcan salute.
"I don't do that anymore." said Leonard Nimoy.
"This is unbelievable. What do you heads do all day?" Fry asked.
"We share our wisdom with those who seek it. It's a life of quiet dignity." said Leonard Nimoy.
"Feeding time." said a lady who looked disturbingly like Betty from the Rugrats. She fed the celebrities fish flakes. Um okay...
Oscar winced exasperated.
Fry shrugged.
On the streets of New New York Leela was snooping about trying to find Fry.
"Snooping as usual, I see!" said Evil Robot Santa. Santa is a killer robot in the future.
"Shut up Santa..." said Leela.
In the head museum.
Fry was pestering Spock with questions.
"Do you actually gave pointy ears?"
"Fry, please! We're tryiiiiing, to rest! Now, I, must, use, toomany, commas, and! Dramaticpauses." said the head of William Shatner.
"Coooool! William Shatner! Captain Kirk!" said Fry.
"Let me tell him this racist joke! Why is Uhura black? Because William Shatner!" (William Shat on her) Oscar laughed.
"I don't get it..." said Fry.
Oscar groaned.
Bender looking bored drank a bottle of beer.
"Ooooooooh my!" said Mr Sulu in a camp manner.
Oscar laughed.
...
Fry looked around in awe. Um it's a museum... only geeks like them...
"This is unbelievable!"
"It sucks..." Bender groaned bored.
"It's raining men!" Oscar yelled in delight.
"Sshhhh!" George Takei hushed him.
Fry winced at him exasperated.
"Is this kid stupid or something?" Bender sighed.
Oscar glared at him.
Then Fry saw Leela was snooping about the museum.
Fry hid somewhere with Oscar. Bender decided to hide too even though he didn't need to.
"Hmm..." Leela pondered. Fry picked a really dumb hiding place as she could see him looking sheepish behind a shelf of heads in jars.
"I'm sorry, Fry... but I have to install your career chip." said Leela approaching him.
"Yeah, well if you're sorry then why are you doing it?" Fry asked.
"It's my job. You gotta do what you gotta do." said Leela backing him towards Richard Nixon's sleeping head.
"Watch it." said Fry. He accidentally knocked over Richard Nixon's head. Shattering his jar.
"That's it. You just made my list." Richard Nixon was mad. He growled and bit Fry's arm.
"Ow, ooh, ow, ow, ooh! Stop it! Down boy! Bad president." Fry cried.
Oscar cracked up laughing.
Suddenly the buck toothed, snotty voiced cop arrived. And URL.
"All right, buddy, step away from the head." said the snotty voiced cop.
Fry was struggling to make Richard Nixon's head let go of him.
"I'm going to get 24th century on his ass." said URL in a cool voice as he ignited a lightsaber police baton.
"Cooooool!" said Oscar in awe.
The cops started hitting Fry with their light sabre batons.
"Please, officers, there's no need to use force." Leela felt sorry for Fry.
"Let us handle this, weirdie." said the snotty voiced cop.
"Oh, come on. He's just a poor kid from the stupid ages." said Leela.
Then there was a commercial for Little Caesar's...
"Mmmmm... Little Caesars..." said Oscar.
...
The next scene we continue where we left off.
"Let us handle this, weirdie." said the snotty voiced cop.
"Oh, come on. He's just a poor kid from the stupid ages." said Leela.
Oscar laughed. "Yeah the Stupid ages was my favourite century..."
Leela rolled her ONLY EYE with exasperation.
"Yeah we get it Narrator... she has only one eye..." said Oscar.
Smitty and URL were clubbing Fry.
"Coooooool! Police brutality!" Oscar cooed. Yeah like that's cool... not!
"Guys please!" Leela pleaded.
"Keep your big nose out of this, eyeball." said Smitty the buck toothed cop. Um uh oh...
Leela got mad... "No one makes fun of my nose. Yee-aah!" She karate kicked Smitty and URL.
"Ooh!"
"Damn."
During this commotion Fry and Bender escaped.
"You guys were totally out of control." Leela told the cops off.
"That's our job. We're peace officers." said Smitty lying on the floor.
"Yeah, you know the law... You gotta do what you gotta do." said URL.
Oscar winced concerned about something. "Leela you just assaulted two police officers..."
Fry and Bender were trapped in a small room in the Head museum basement. Their only exit was a barred window.
"Oh, we're trapped." Fry groaned. "Wait a second. You're a bender, right? We can get out of here... if you just bend the bars."
"Dream on, skin tube. I'm only programmed to bend for constructive purposes. What do I look like? A de-bender?" said Bender.
"Who cares what you're programmed for. If someone programmed you to jump off a bridge would you do it?" Fry appealed to him to fight his programming.
"I'll have to check my program. Yep." said Bender.
Someone was knocking on the basement door. "Open up." Leela yelled. She had found them.
"Not by the hairs on our chinny chin chins! We won't let you in!" Oscar said and laughed hysterically.
Fry winced exasperated. "How did you get in?"
"Air vent." said Oscar.
Leela was pounding on the door.
"Come on, Bender. It's up to you... to make your own decisions in life. That's what separates people and robots... from animals and animal robots." said Fry. That was a dumb speech...
"You're full of crap, Fry." said Bender. He shattered a lightbulb with his antenna, it zapped him and somehow he changed his mind.
"You make a persuasive argument, Fry." said Bender.
He ripped their bars off of the window.
Fry, Oscar and Bender escaped just as Leela kicked down the door yelling martial arts cries.
"Yeeeee Ah!" She saw them flee. "No wait!"
"Never!" Fry yelled.
...
Fry and Bender fled until they were sure Leela wasn't following. However they had a new problem. Hover cop cars were searching for them as they were fugitives.
"Ooooooh! These always get messy... with lots of cops dying..." Oscar groaned.
Bender saw a sewer grate. He had an idea.
"Coooool! We can visit the Ninja Turtles..." said Oscar.
Fry winced.
"Well someone better bend this grate..." said Bender.
Fry opened the grate easily as it wasn't locked or sealed.
Bender groaned as he wanted to bend things.
They went down into the sewers.
"Hehehehe!" Bender chuckled as he bent the bars on the grate.
As they climbed down Oscar went on and on about all the cool things he wanted to see in the sewers.
"Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles... sewer gators... sewer clowns... Hobos flushed down here accidentally when they were babies..."
"Kid! Please just shut up!" Fry groaned.
"No you shut up!" Oscar yelled.
They explored the gross, dank, smelly sewers.
"Why is it that Sony PlayStation 2's two future set cartoon platformers set in the future have to have sewer levels?! Just why?!" Oscar jabbered.
Fry was getting annoyed.
"Why does it smell down here..." Oscar groaned.
Eventually they came to a vast underground city. But it was mostly in ruins.
"Where are we?" Fry asked.
"The ruins of Old New York. Welcome home buddy!" said Bender.
Fry looked in awe. "I'm home! loom there's Panucci's pizza! My old school... My house... Man I have a lot of memories here..."
"Keep em to yourself, Meatbag." said Bender.
"When that lake gets frozen over I used to take my girlfriend ice skating every Christmas." said Fry.
In the past the lake they were overlooking was frozen and people often skated on it during the holidays.
However in the future which is now the present. The ice had melted away. The water was now putrid and glowing an unnatural fluorescent green and there was a giant squid monster thrashing about.
"Cooooool!" said Oscar.
Fry winced.
And that ends Act 3!
Plot 4
Meanwhile in the sewers.
"This is where I brought my girlfriend... on our very first date. My God. She's gone. Everyone I ever knew or cared about is gone." Fry was depressed.
"Wait. There's someone you know." said Bender.
Leela caught up with them.
"Oh... can't you leave me alone? I'm miserable enough already." Fry whined.
"Look, I know it's not much consolation... but I understand how you feel." Leela softened her tone. I think her seeing that police brutality made her loosen up and understand Fry.
"No, you don't. I've got no home, no family. No friends. My whole world is gone. You can't possibly understand... what it feels like to be so alone." Fry lamented feeling glum.
Leela spoke softly. "I understand. I'm the only one-eyed alien on this whole planet. My parents abandoned me here as a baby... and I don't even know what galaxy they were from. I know how it feels to be alone" Later it turns out she's not an alien, she's a mutant human.
"Look, Leela... I don't understand this world, but... you obviously do... so I give up. If you really think I should be a delivery boy, I'll do it." said fry holding out his hand to be jabbed by the painful job chip implanter.
However Leela used the device to remove a chip from her own hand.
"Your chip. What are you doing?" Fry asked.
"Quitting." said Leela.
"Why?" Fry asked.
"Because I've always wanted to. I just never realized it until I met you." said Leela. They held hands in a friendly manner. Bender then had to spoil the romantic moment by putting his hand over their hands.
"What is the matter with you?" Fry said annoyed at him.
"I just wanted to be part of the moment." said Bender.
"- Hey! He stole my ring." Leela yelled. Bender um steals things...
"Sorry." Bender gave her back her ring.
"Well, that solves the mystery of the missing ring. This calls for a drink." Bender took out from his chest compartment a bottle of beer and opened it and drank...
"I don't want to spoil the party... but we're all job deserters now. We're unemployed and we have nowhere to go." said Leela.
"And whatever or whoever this jerkward who calls the shots in this century has decided the unemployed should be fired out of a cannon into the sun..." Oscar frowned.
"Well the law did lower unemployment rates to zero." said Leela.
"Yes because they killed anyone who wouldn't or couldn't work!" Oscar snapped.
"We're unemployed... but we have a doddering old relative to mooch off of." said Fry looking at his photograph of his Great Great Great Great Great Great Great etc Nephew Professor Farnsworth.
...
Elsewhere with Dick Clark's head... New New York is celebrating New Years Eve. Or New New Years Eve. Dick Clark is hosting the celebrations.
"Hello. I'm Dick Clark's head. Welcome to a special year 3000 edition... of New Year's Rockin' Eve." said Dick Clark's head.
Elsewhere at a red and yellow odd looking building labelled Planet Express Deliveries.
Fry rings the doorbell.
An old scientist answers. A doddery old man with glasses.
"Who are you?" He asked the visitors.
"I'm your dear old Uncle Fry." said Fry.
"I don't have an Uncle Fry." said the Professor.
"You do now." said Bender.
Amusingly and because the story demands it, he lets them in. Four complete strangers...
Professor Farnsworth took a DNA swab from fry and determined he was related to him.
"By God, I am your nephew. This is absolutely incredible." said Professor Farnsworth.
"Can we have some money?" Bender asked nicely. Hehehehe!
"Oh, my, no." said Farnsworth joyfully.
A shotgun is cocked.
"We were asking nicely old man... now we're not! Give us the money!" Oscar snapped trying to rob the Professor as he pointed his shotgun at him.
"Why are you robbing people..." Leela sighed.
"Duh! We're unemployed in a fascist future where you can't be unemployed..." said Oscar.
"Let me show you around." Farnsworth shows them around. "That's my lab table and this is my work stool..." Oscar yawned. "and over there is my intergalactic spaceship..." Fry stares at the green spaceship. "and here's where I keep assorted lengths of wire."
"Really interesting Professor... not..." Oscar groaned.
"Where do you keep your money?" Bender yelled.
"Hehehehe! the robot gets it..." Oscar chuckled.
"Whoa. A real live spaceship." Fry stared at the space ship.
"I designed it myself. Let me show you... some of the different lengths of wire I used." said Farnsworth. Nooooooo! Not the wires!
Suddenly they heard Smitty on a megaphone and saw flashing blue and red sirens outside.
"Attention, job deserters! Come out with your hands up! We have you partially surrounded." said Smitty as there were loads of cops outside.
"No!" Fry yelled.
"Get those bums." Richard Nixon's head yelled. For some reason he's the main villain. Apparently he's holding a grudge against Fry for breaking his jar.
"Bum! Bum! Bum! Buuuuuuuuum!" Oscar sang the word bum repeatedly.
"Well, we're boned." said Bender.
"No we're not." Oscar spoke into the Planet Express building's speaker system. "Attention fascist jerkwards! We're not surrendering! In fact I'm heavily armed with numerous fire arms along with the Professor, the cyclops, Carrot Top..." Fry yells "Hey!" "And a robot... You want a war? You'll get one!"
"Can't we get away in the ship?" Fry asked.
"I suppose it is technically possible... though I am already in my pajamas." said the Professor.
"I'll get us out of here." said Leela.
They all get on the ship. Amusingly Bender is carrying the Professor.
"Can anyone drive stick?" Professor Farnsworth asked.
"I can... As long as I don't have to parallel park." saidLeela taking the helm.
Oscar laughed hysterically. "Hehehehe! Women..."
Fry chuckled.
Outside with all the fascist cops.
"If they try to take off, give 'em an ass full of laser." said URL. Mmmmmm kinky...
"Prepare for liftoff." said Leela.
"Why does no one let me just kill everyone!" Oscar griped.
It was also New Years Eve at almost midnight.
Humans on Earth started the count down at Ten.
Then Water aliens on the desert planet with three suns said nine.
Then Lrrr, ruler of Omicron Persei 8. said Eight.
Then Egypt again but this time the pyramids were floating and upside down!
Then Horrible Gelatinous Blobs said six.
Then Leonard Nimoy said five.
Then Richard Nixon's head said four.
Then Fry, Bender and Leela finished.
One!
Fireworks suddenly went off filing the sky with distracting bright explosions.
Fry and Leela etc safely took off as the cops were too distracted by the fireworks.
"Shoot them! Shoot them damnit!" Nixon yelled.
"I can't locate them." said URL. The cops were aimlessly firing frantically.
"It sure is pretty though." said Smitty.
"Oh yeah..." said URL.
...
Space.
"WERE IN SPACE!" Zoidberg screamed
"Zoidberg get out! Thats not part of the script!" Farnsworth shouted
"Well we're safe." said Leela.
"Yeah but where will we live! We can't go back to Earth! We're fugitives!"
"Plus we do want work. We just didn't like our old jobs." said Bender.
"Actually I need a new Ship's crew to replace my previous crew." said Farnsworth.
"What happened to them?" Fry asked.
"Such tragic circumstances... oh those poor souls..." said Farnsworth not explaining anything. Aside from that they died horribly.
"But we need career chips." said Leela.
"I am not getting jabbed with a chip..." Fry frowned.
"Well I have the previous crew's chips." said Farnsworth.
The envelop he got out read "Contents of Giant Space Wasp's stomach."
Oscar cracked up laughing.
"Leela you'll be our pilot." said Farnsworth.
"Certainly Professor." Leela obeyed.
"Bender as a synthetic being, ie a robot, you don't need a chip. Um just bum around until I can find you something to do." said Farnsworth.
"Suits me." said Bender taking a nap.
"Um..." The Professor stares at Oscar.
"I'm Oscar. I told you numerous times while you bored us with your all sorted lengths of wire..." said Oscar annoyed.
"Oscar, you will the ship's gunner. You'll operate the guns in case we're attacked in space." said Farnsworth.
"Coooooool!" said Oscar.
"And Fry. You'll make sure our cargo, which is deliveries makes its way to its intended owner. We deliver things." said Farnsworth.
"So I'm a delivery boy?" Fry whined.
"Yes." said Farnsworth.
"Yaaaaaay! I'm a delivery boy!" Fry cheered.
Worst ending ever!