A Fishful of Dollars Fry discovers they put advertisements in dreams now and then he finds out he's a billionaire. Then he buys the last tin of anchovies as anchovies are extinct now.
Plot
Fry is asleep in his bedroom in Bender's closet. Basically they found out robots live in reverse of humans. Ie they have tiny apartments but massive closets suitable for human habitat.
However he was woken by what sounded like squeaky mattress springs in another room. Omg they're doing it!
Fry growls.
"I can't take it anymore! They've been at it for hours!" Oh god! That's one horny couple! "Knock it off you two!" He yelled banging on the wall.
Next door though are not a randy couple. But two robots playing poker. They have springs for torsos that squeak when rusty.
"Sorry!" said one of the robots. He oils himself to stop the squeaking.
Fry eventually goes to sleep.
He dreams he is in college. He is taking a lecture.
There is a stern old biddy of a teacher with grey hair in a bun and spectacles.
"Good morning, class. I trust you've all prepared for today's final exam." She said.
"Uh, excuse me? I missed a few lectures. Uh, what subject is this?" Fry asked.
"Ancient Egyptian algebra." said the teacher. Hopefully it involves Yugioh...
The blackboard has very complex formulae on it.
"What a nightmare!" Fry gasped.
"Mister Fry, are those your underpants?" The stern teacher asked. He was only wearing his underwear...
Fry gasped embarrassed.
Everyone laughs at him.
"Oh man..." Fry blushed, he was embarrassed.
"Mister Fry. It seems you need a lesson in Lightspeed Briefs.
Suddenly his dream becomes an advertisement for Lightspeed Briefs. An out of shape man becomes very muscular when he puts on a fancy pair of underwear. He is wearing them at a college lecture. At a boardroom meeting. And in the bedroom while pointing at a blackboard while a blonde beautiful lady is on the bed waiting for him.
Fry wakes with a start.
"That was weird! Oh now I'll never get back to sleep..." He immediately goes to sleep and snores.
(Fry snoring in an ugly, manly manner.)
...
We cut to the opening credits. The title gag this time is the word Loading... as if something like a file is taking a long time to load...
"OH GOD DAMNIT!" Oscar yelled.
Planet Express board room.
Fry explains his weird dream.
"And basically it was one of those nightmares where you're in a public place in your underwear when suddenly I was dreaming a commercial about Lightspeed Briefs." said Fry.
"Oh yeah. That's normal." said Amy.
"Normal?! Are you saying everyone gets commercials in their dreams?!" Fry asked.
"Why sure. The government put commercials in dreams to defeat Freddy Krueger. Well until he gets the latest update of AdBlocker." said Leela.
"But, how is that possible?" Fry asked.
"It's very simple. The ad gets into your brain just like this liquid gets into this egg." said the Professor. He holds up an egg and injects it with liquid. The egg explodes, covering him and Leela in yolk. "Although, in reality, it's not liquid, but gamma radiation."
"But that's terrible! It's like brainwashing!" Fry asked.
"It's better than potentially being murdered in your sleep by Freddy Krueger." said Leela.
"Hehehehe! Eggsplody..." Oscar laughed.
Bender glared at him.
"Fry didn't you have commercials in the twentieth century?" Leela asked.
"Yes. But not in our dreams..." said Fry. "We had them in newspapers, on TV, on radio, on billboards. And bananas and..."
"We most certainly didn't have commercials on bananas..." Oscar argued
"Well commercials are in dreams now flesh-bag. At least you can dream. I don't even have a sub conscience!" said Bender.
"But it's just... wrong!" Fry whined.
"Quit squawking, flesh wad. Nobody's forcing you to buy anything." said Bender smoking a cigar.
Oscar suddenly stood on the table and squawked loudly while wagging his arms in a chicken dance pose.
Everyone face palmed.
"What?!" Oscar asked.
...
During the minutes of the morning meeting after breakfast Fry and Bender instead watched All My Circuits on the lounge TV.
There was a commercial for Bachelor Chow.
"Now that's normal." said Fry expecting there to be commercials.
Bender sighed and drank his beer.
"Now come on Fry... I mean we all have commercials in our dreams but you don't see us running off to buy brand-name merchandise at low, low prices." said Amy.
They sit there for a moment then suddenly get up and flee!
We cut to a store called Alien Overlord and Taylor.
"Cooool! The future is silly now..." Oscar giggled.
And Giorgio Armani is now Giorgio Armonster. With alien monsters working there.
Oscar laughed hysterically.
Leela sighed.
At a perfume store with annoying staff that spray you even when you tell them you're not interested!
"Hi! Care to sample the latest fragrance from Calvin Clone?" said the lady there.
"Uh don't you mean Calvin Klein..." Oscar asked. She sprayed perfume in his eyes! "Aaaaaaagh! It burns! IT BUUUUUUURNS!"
"How about you miss?" The annoying perfume store saleswoman asked Amy.
"Uh no thanks." said Amy, the woman sprayed her in the eyes. Amy swore in Cantonese as she rubbed her eyes.
"How about you sir?" The annoying woman asked Bender.
"Get bent..." said Bender rudely. The lady sprayed him with perfume. Bender sprayed her with oil from his mouth.
The woman coughed and spluttered.
Oscar laughed.
He rubbed his burning eyes and headed through the perfume store. There were women trying on perfume. Ie spraying their necks or wrists.
Oscar suddenly found it difficult to breath and started choking. He hacked and grasped his throat coughing and sank to his knees and then collapsed.
The women just glanced at him as if he was just drawing attention to himself.
...
Elsewhere Leela got a makeover.
"Well you see sugar... we need to draw attention away from the eye." The cosmetics artist explained about Leela's eye.
She zapped Leela's face with some future technology makeup pen device.
"And voila!" said the cosmetics lady.
Leela looked in the mirror but frowned because the lady gave her way too much lipstick so she looked like a clown...
"Hey Leela- Oh my god! You're a clown!" Oscar yelled.
Leela sighed.
Amy was trying on novelty night vision goggles that instead allow you to see through the eyes of a bending unit. The goggles point out purses and wallets on people and label them as rubes and jerks.
Amy sighed and scoffed.
The Professor was taking toothbrushes out of their packaging, brushing his dentures with them and then putting them back.
"Sir please stop doing that, or I'll have to call security..." said a store clerk.
Anyhoo, the episode is called A Fishful of Dollars so there was a Robot Clint Eastwood as The Man With No Name.
"My mule don't like people laughing." said The Robot With No Name.
Men's Wear. A clothes store for men. Fry finds a packet of Lightspeed briefs. He feels compelled to try them on.
"Can I try these on before I buy them?" Fry asked the store worker.
"I'm afraid I can't let you open the package. But you can try on the demo pair." said the obviously gay store owner.
He sprayed a used pair of Lightspeed briefs with deodorant and handed them over.
Fry retched and went to the fitting room.
Bender got out his Gaydar device and scanned the store owner. It gave off a very high reading... Bender wasn't surprised.
Fry tried on the Lightspeed briefs. He was impressed by how he looked in them.
"Ooh! Ho, ho, ho!" In his mirror he was muscular with huge pecs. Then two lovely ladies appeared. Fry looked about confused as they weren't real. The mirror had a sign that said "Objects in the mirror may appear more attractive than they actually are."
Fry sighed.
...
The Robots accessory department.
A fembot is trying on Robot Eyes.
Bender extends his eyes to look at her.
"Perv..." said a bulky looking robot.
Bender found a tacky green sweater. He tried it on. He then decided to use it to smuggle out cans of Mom's Old Fashioned Robot Oil by hiding the cans up his sweater.
A robot camera flew after him.
Amy is trying on sunglasses.
"Hey, Bender! Great new sweater." She said not noticing the cans under his sweater.
Bender got very defensive and nervous... "New? What sweater? I came in with it. I don't know you people!" He fled with the robot camera following him.
Men's clothing area.
Oscar passed a fitting room mirror that makes things seen in it more attractive. Oscar saw his reflection as that weird handsome older version of him someone drew for me when I commissioned them. Oscar winced then glanced at his bruised apple with a worm poking out and slithering about. In the mirror his apple was a shiny green and delicious looking crisp apple.
Oscar sighed.
Fry was paying for his Lightspeed briefs.
"That'll be thirty dollars sir." said the salesman.
"Thirty dollars?! Awwww! I don't have that on me... Unless... Do you take Visa?" Fry asked taking out his credit cards.
"Ooooooh! Visa hasn't existed since it foreclosed 500 years ago..." said the store clerk.
"American Express?" Fry asked.
"Foreclosed 800 years ago..." said the store clerk.
"Discovery?" Fry asked.
"We don't take Discovery..." said the store clerk. Nobody takes Discovery!
"MasterCard?" Fry asked.
"Oh that's ancient... It's now called DoctorCard." said The clerk.
Fry waited for the bad news.
"Oh and it foreclosed 200 years ago..." said the gay store clerk.
Fry sighed.
...
"Where's Fry?" Leela still resembling a clown asked Amy.
"I think I see him in the men's department..." said Amy.
"Hey! You're springing for Lightspeed? Pretty ritzy!" Amy caught up with Fry as he put the Lightspeeds back disappointed.
"No, I can't afford them. Being poor sucks. What kind of world is this where they advertise things not everybody can afford?" Fry whined.
"Quiet. There's an ad coming on." said Amy as the commercials started.
"No! I will not be quiet for the blood sucking, time wasting commercials! Put my show back on damn it!" Oscar ranted.
Amy hushed him.
On a big screen is an old biddy wearing an apron and knitting. She is Mom. And she's essentially Mr Burns of New New York.
"Hello, shoppers. It's me, Mom!" said Mom in a sweet tone.
"Hey who's the rocker jockey?" Fry asked.
"Or old biddy..." Oscar squinted with a cynical look.
"Guh! It's Mom. The world's most huggable industrialist." said Amy. Unfortunately Mom later turns out to be evil...
Mom: [on screen] "Call me old-fashioned, but when my robot starts to squeak like an old screen door, well, that's when I reach for a can of Mom's Old Fashioned Robot Oil."
"Mmm, tasty!" said Bender in a silly manner that I found amusing for some reason.
Oscar laughed.
Mom: [on screen] "And remember: Mom's oil is made with 10% more love than the next leading brand!"
Mom smiles.
""Mom", "love" and "screen door" are registered trademarks of Momcorp." said a voiceover.
Oscar winced.
Plot 2
Bender is squeaking.
"Bender you could use some of that Robot oil." said Fry.
Cans dropped out of Bender's sweater.
Security camera robots surround him.
"Uh oh!" said Bender.
"Freeze scuzzbot!" said Smitty the cop.
"Now now fellas! I can explain!" Bender asked. Cabs fell out of his sweater and clatter on the floor. "What I mean is-" More cans fall. "I'm sure we can be reasonable-" More cans fall.
"Oh it's on..." said URL in a cool voice as he ignited his lightsaber baton thing.
"Coooool!" Oscar cooed.
Leela sighed disappointed in Bender as he got a pummelling and was then arrested.
The police station.
"forty five, forty six cents... Darn! Leela do you have some money to cover Bender's bail?" Fry asked.
"I had some cash but Bender stole my purse..." Leela sighed glaring at Bender in his cell.
"Oh gosh help me! I don't deserve to be in here! I'm a political prisoner!" Bender cried.
"You were caught shoplifting..." Leela sighed.
"Yeah but what can ya do..." Bender played a harmonica because convicts have harmonicas in jail...
Fry saw a bank. "I know! We can withdraw some money from my old bank account!"
"Fry your cards don't work..." said Amy.
"Oh yeah..." said Fry glum.
"Well I say we all go home and let Bender stew in his cell and think about what he did..." said Leela cross with Bender.
Bender cried.
They go home.
Along the way a giant pigeon attacked!
"Ay Chihuaha!" Oscar screamed.
The crew scattered about as the giant pigeon pecked at them.
...
Planet Express Headquarters.
"Oh my... Where's Bender!" said Farnsworth.
"He got arrested for shoplifting..." said Leela.
"Oh my this won't do! I need my bending unit! Go and bail him out!" said the Professor.
"We don't have enough money, you don't pay us enough!" said Fry.
The Professor sighed. "Well you'll have to make a delivery to Mars without him!"
"Mars?! Oh can I come! I get to see my Mom and Dad!" said Amy.
"No you can't go! You're needed here! For some unexplained reason to do with your internship!" said the Professor.
Amy sulked.
And so the crew went to Mars then after they did that they went to the bank after work.
For some dumb reason Fry can still use his ATM number to access his account.
"Well you're not on our fingerprint database, retina scan or soul scan. How odd..." said a bank clerk.
"Well I was frozen 1000 years ago." said Fry.
"Oh an ice cube guy. Well fortunately we have an emergency account access system. You just need to type in your PIN."
"Oh that's easy. It's the price of a pepperoni pizza at Panuccis!" Fry says the price.
"You dolt! Now everyone has access to your bank account..." Oscar snarked.
Fry groaned.
"I highly recommend you change your PIn immediately sir and this time don't blurt it out..." said the bank clerk.
Anyway the Tweeeeeest in the story...
Fry looked in his account.
"You had a saving of 93 dollars." said the clerk.
"Not bad..." Fry grinned.
"And the interest accumulated over a thousand years means your entire account holds a total of 4.5 billion dollars." said the lady at the bank.
Fry stares blankly. Then hyperventilates and foams at the mouth and faints.
Oscar winced.
...
We cut back to the Planet Express boardroom and dining area. They are having a party to celebrate Fry being a billionaire. Everyone is wearing top hats and drinking champagne. Oscar has a can of cola.
"To Fry!" said Hermes.
"Cheers!" said Amy.
They raise their glasses.
"I know Fry is rich now, but do we have to wear these top hats?" Leela asked.
"I don't think you understand just how rich Fry is! In fact I should put on a monocle." Bender wore a monocle.
"Like a sir!" Oscar laughed.
"Oh quiet old bean..." said Bender in a posh voice.
We cut to Fry splashing some cash. He takes the crew to a health spa.
Amy has a mud bath, The Professor is having a massage and Fry and Leela are in a jacuzzi.
"This is wonderful Fry." said Leela, happy for once in her life!
Bender was being treated with an angle grinder and then gets a buffing and polish.
"I'm gonna float a Baby Ruth down the mineral bath..." said Oscar.
Leela sighed at the thought of him causing trouble.
Then they went clay pigeon shooting, except instead they shot priceless paintings with laser guns!
"Pull!" said Fry.
A Mona Lisa was catapulted into the air. Fry shot rbe painting to pieces.
Oscar was horrified.
Then they stopped back home at base to drink and smoke fine cigars.
"Cuban?" Fry asked.
Bender laughed. "Cuban?! Man Fry you old ice cube... Cuban tobacco is as common as spilt oil! It's now Zuban cigars that are for the sophisticated gentleman!"
Nibbler was lapping up a glass of champagne.
"Uh Leela... Is your pet supposed to be drinking..." Oscar winced.
Fry then bought a very rare flavoured jerky mummy thing...
"Best investment I've ever made..." He ate the tiny dried up mummy...
"Will you stop eating someone's dried up tiny ancestor?!" Oscar ranted.
...
Fry then takes everyone out for pizza. "Uh... Where is your local pizza parlour? Cos uh I have a feeling Panucci's is long gone..."
"Fry we saw the ruins of Panucci's and old New York when we first arrived in the future." said Oscar.
"Ah." said Fry.
"There's a nice pizza parlour down town. It's run by robots but it should still feel like home to you Fry." said Leela.
They go to a Pizza Parlour, called Cosmic Rays Pizza.
"Just keep the tab under fifty million dollars." said Fry.
"Fifty Million Dollars." said Oscar doing a Dr Evil pinky finger on the lips thing. The sax jingle played.
The crew sighed exasperated.
A robot chef wearing a greasy apron arrived.
"Yo!" He whistles. "I haven't got all day. What kind of pizza yous guys want?"
"We'll have one with everything except anchovies on it and one with my all time favourite, anchovies." said Fry.
There was an error. "Invalid selection." said the robot chef in a mechanical voice. He then spoke normally. "Yo. What are yous jabberin about?"
"Anchovies? You know? Those little headless fish?" Fry asked.
"Error! Does not compute. Does not compute." The chef robot blew up.
"Cooooool!" said Oscar.
"I'm sorry, Fry, but the anchovy has been extinct since the 2200's." said the Professor.
"What?!" said Fry.
"Oh, my, yes. Fished to death. Just about the time your people arrived on Earth wasn't it, Zoidberg?"
"I'm not on trial here." said Zoidberg being defensive and cagey.
"So none of you has ever had anchovies? Oh, man! You don't know what you're missing. They were all salty and oily and they melted in your mouth and-" said Fry making the extinct fish sound appetising.
"Stop! Stop! I admit it! My people ate them all! We kept saying "One more can't hurt" and then they were gone. We're sorry!" Zoidberg breaks under torture. He sobs and rests across the table.
"Well it's a shame... I maybe rich but all the money in the world can't bring back an extinct creature..." said Fry.
"Uh Fry we have live dinosaurs in our local parks..." said Leela.
"All we need is a DNA sample, Ie a tin of anchovies." said the professor.
...
Still at the Pizza Parlour.
"Yeah but they went extinct in 2200 AD brainiac..." said Bender. He was wearing a top hat and a monocle.
"Yes quite so, Sir Bender..." said Oscar drinking tea.
They then all went to an auction. where stupid rich people throw away loads of money over poitless things...
"Why do you need that primitive coat rack..." Leela sighed.
She soon found out. Fry had brought a twentieth century apartment with asbestos and old TV just about while the Simpsons were still looking for weird apartments to live in.
"Well?" Fry was sat in an old recliner.
"Well it is very primitive Fry, The wooden floors are so hard!"
Amy was baffled by an old house phone. She put the handset over her eyes...
Oscar laughed.
"And this place is riddled with deadly asbestos!" said the Professor.
"Cooooool! More asbestos! More asbestos! More asbestos! More-" Bart Simpson's head in a jar cheered.
"Enough!" Oscar yelled at Bart's head.
"And this TV... Ugh..." said Bender.
"What of it?" Fry asked.
"Well aside from having only five channels, so you'll be bored stiff... They cause cancer..." said Bender.
"And the graphics are terrible!" said Leela.
"Yeah you probably can't make out my obscene tattoo on one of those." Amy has a rude tattoo on her shoulder.
Oscar had a nose bleed and fainted because he was aroused by the tattoo.
Leela chuckled having a sense of humour and not being a prude over such things ie rude tattoos.
"Well I like it here." said Fry.
"Yes let's all sit down and get eye cancer from Fry's lousy low definition TV." said the Professor.
Fry sighed.
"Wait! The last time Fry moved out away from me I got upset! Waaaaaaaaaaaaaagh!" Bender bursts into tears.
"Oh you've hurt his feelings Fry!" said Leela strangely supportive of Bender...
...
They then went auctioning again for more old crap.
Like Ted Danson's skeleton...
"Fry why do you need Ted Danson's skeleton?" Leela sighed.
"I've got an idea for a comedy sketch..." said Fry.
"Uh..." Oscar was baffled.
"Ah, leave him alone, Leela. So he's going a little wacko with his money. It's OK." said Bender.
"You're just saying that because he bought you that antique robot toy..." said Leela.
Bender has a Rock em Sock em robot toy. "Yeah... it's cute..." he chuckled. However one of the little robots punches the other's head off.
Bender screams.
Oscar laughed.
Then some anchovies were being sold.
Fry bids 15,000 dollars fir them.
A man bids higher. "20"
Then A rich Decopodian lady, Zoidberg's species makes a bid. "30! No 40!"
"Oh my! She's beautiful!" Zoidberg gasped.
"She's also way outta your league..." said Oscar. "She's a wealthy aristocrat, you live in a dumpster..."
Fry counter bids. "50!"
There is a pause and the auctioneer thinking Fry is the highest bid is about to close the sale.
"60 thousand dollars!" said a strong older female voice.
Everyone gasped. A woman with Mayor Wright from Sim City's Ass-head hairdo arrived.
"It's Mom!" said Leela. "It's very rare for her to make a public appearance."
Fry bids higher.
"Fry you can't out bid Mom! She's incredibly rich! Besides she's so adorable..." said Leela.
Yeah um... about that... Leela...
Mom bids higher.
Fry counter bids. "150!" And so on.
"Silence! I bid 250 thousand." said the Blue Robot Elder.
Oscar rolled his eyes.
Plot 3
Eventually Fry outbids Mom.
"Oh well, Mom knows when to quit..." said Mom.
Everyone boos and jeers Fry.
Fry frowned as he collected his anchovies.
Also Oscar tried to bid with a nonexistent number.
"Four jillion dollars!"
"Kid that is not a real number..." said the auctioneer.
After the auction Zoidberg tried to woo the wealthy dowager Decopodian lady.
"Feh!" She wasn't interested.
Zoidberg sighed.
At Planet Express Corp. Farnsworth's lab.
Professor Farnsworth was extracting DNA from the anchovies.
"Angry Norwegian anchovies..." said Oscar. Presumably he hurls Ikea furniture at you.
"And eureka! I have brought back the Anchovy!" said Farnsworth as he had successfully cloned some anchovies. They swam about in an aquarium.
"Good! Let's cook em!" said Fry.
At Fry's apartment.
"Now to watch some good old twentieth century TV..."
Pepperidge Farm was on.
"Remember when we sold chocolate chip cookies? Pepperidge Farm remembers." said the old guy. Then it went down hill... "Remember when women couldn't vote and certain folk weren't allowed on golf courses? Pepperidge Farm remembers,"
"Okay that's just offensive..." said Fry.
There is a knock at his door. It's Bob Dylan!
"Fry are you there?" Leela asked. Fine it's Leela...
Fry lets her in.
"You haven't been to work in three days. What have you been doing?" Leela asked.
"I've been sitting right here. I picked up my life exactly where I left off a thousand years ago. Now, if you'll excuse me, it's eight o'clock. Time to get biz-ay!" said Fry putting music on.
Baby got back by Sir Mix-a-lot plays.
Leela rolled her eye. HER ONLY EYE!
...
They all go to Cosmic Rays pizza parlour, this tine to have pizza.
"Well Anchovies are back on the menu ya ol' bigshot!" said Ray the robot, who had been rebuilt after exploding in error the other day. He served them an anchovy pizza.
"I'll just cut that." Bender got out a pizza cutter. Zoidberg furiously slammed his claw upon the table.
"You cut that and I'll fucking gut you like a fish!" He yelled madder than a hornet.
Bender sat down nervously.
Oscar winced.
"Well Everyone take a slice and prepare your tastebuds fir the tastiest extinct animal you've ever eaten." said Fry.
Everyone took a slice of anchovy pizza and tried it. Suddenly they were retching and spitting it out in disgust.
"Bleh!" said Leela.
"So salty!" Hermes groaned.
Fry shrugged. "Eh I guess not everyone likes anchovies."
Fry's 20th century apartment. He is listening to I like big butts and I cannot lie/Baby got back by Sir Mix-a-lot but the lights are off and the curtains are shut so it's dark.
Leela turns the lights on.
"Hey!" Fry whined.
"You can't just sit here in the dark listening to classical music." said Leela.
"It's not classical, it's hip hop..." said Fry. "Classical is Mozart and other dead geezers with weird foppish hair..." said Fry.
"Ugh... By 31st century standards that song is classical music... just as Mozart was classical by twentieth century standards..." said Leela.
"Well I could be listening to music in the dark if you hadn't turned off the radio and switched on the lights..." Fry frowned.
"Fry, this isn't healthy. You're living in the past." said Leela.
"Quit living in the past!" Homer berated Fry. He hates people living in the past.
"I'm rich... I can live whenever I want..." said Fry annoyed.
Leela sighed. "Fine I'll nudge the professor into inventing a working time machine to send you back to the twentieth century and you can continue your life where you left off..."
At Planet Express Corp.
"A time machine?! Simply preposterous!" Farnsworth yelled.
Oscar bribed him with a thick wad of dollars.
"I mean, Sure! For mad science! Hohohoho!" Farnsworth laughed like a girl.
...
And now more weird future things.
"hey are you flesh bags gonna keep yakking or are we gonna go see the squid fights?" Bender asked.
"That thing where people have Playstation symbols on their masks? That doesn't exist yet..." said Oscar.
"No..." Bender said annoyed.
"Squid people playing paintball with their own ink? That's not gonna happen until several millennia after the second Noah's Ark..." said Oscar.
Bender face palmed.
"Guys, Fry wants to live in the past so the professor is building a time machine to send him back to continue his life where he left off." said Leela.
Nibbler wriggled and jabbered, He knew something that meant there was a reason for Fry being here but no one could understand his gibberish.
"Oh has my little Schookums got a diaper rash..." Leela went all soppy with him.
Oscar groaned in disgust hearing her talk in baby talk.
Nibbler protested as Leela blew raspberries on his belly but no one would take him seriously because they found him cute.
Elsewhere, Fry's.
"Hey Fry..." said Amy visiting him.
"Leave me alone... I like living in the twentieth century... It wasn't weird and scary then..." said Fry.
"Well that's true. Back then you still had a choice of two political parties, Democrats or Republicans. Then in the late 21st century the Republican party went completely fascist and had to be disbanded as an extremist political party..." said Amy.
Fry sighed. "Just leave me to watch Bewitched..."
Meanwhile at Mom Corp.
Mom came in. Her outfit unfolds into metal slats that fold up revealing that rather than being a plum old dear she's actually a skinny old lady in a skin tight suit obsessed with keeping her trim figure.
"Shut the damn door Igner! There's a bastard draft!" Mom yelled revealing her true nature.
Igner complied.
"Walt! fetch me a lemonade!" She yelled.
"Yes mother." said Walt who has Dracula hair and is the smartest of her sons. He passes her a can of lemonade.
Mom slaps him. "Shut up! You may be the smartest and most devious of my boys but know your place!"
Mom did crunches with some exercise equipment between her thighs. "Damn bastard quads! I need to go on a diet!"
"You already diet, Mom..." said Walt.
"Shut up!" Mom yelled.
...
Mom smoked a cigarette on a long Cruella style cigarette holder.
"What vexes you mother?" Walt asked.
"It's that damn bastard crap rich carrot top boy at the auction!" She had surveillance cameras spying on Fry.
"The boy that bought the anchovies..." said Walt.
"Yes! Damn it!" Mom screeched.
She spoke about how if he discovered how to splice the DNA for fish oil into orphans he could ruin her robot oil business. She couldn't allow that.
"You give this boy too much credit mother... He seems to be some what of... well an idiot..." Walt saw on the surveillance Fry had a roast Cornish hen on his head and was basting it with gravy.
"That maybe so, but I can't risk it! I need those anchovies!" said Mom.
Back at Planet Express HQ.
"Professor," Leela asked.
"Yes Leela?" Farnsworth asked.
"Fry's your ancestor, you must know why he so crazy about living in the past." said Leela.
"Uh, wha? Oh, yes! They say madness runs in our family. Some even call me mad! And why? Because I dared to dream of my own race of atomic monsters. Atomic supermen with octagonal-shaped bodies that suck blood out of..." Farnsworth went completely nuts...
Oscar winced. "Okay he's a freak... Let's get outta here Leela..."
They went to the market. There was a fruit stall there...
"You there - where might I procure some ripe fruit? I need two young kumquats, three adult mangoes and a peach. It's my poker night." said Hedonism Bot.
"Yeah suuuuure... Freak..." said Oscar.
Leela sighed.
Back at Planet Express... "And dinosaurs that spit acidic venom into the eyes of my enemies thus blinding them etc!" Farnsworth continues his weird rant.
Amy grimaced exasperated as she made coffee.
Fry's apartment, He id sat in his underwear watching Twentieth century TV.
The door buzzes. Fry sighed and got up. "Who is it..."
"Plumber..." said Walt in a badly disguised voice.
"I haven't ordered a plumber..." said Fry.
"Um yes you have Ma'am!" said Larry.
"No I haven't now go away!" said Fry.
The door buzzed again. Fry growled. "Now what?!"
"Candygram." said Walt.
"Yeah very funny... You're that Land shark off the TV aren't you..." said Fry.
"No I'm a dolphin." said Walt.
...
Elsewhere Bender annoyed people with his Gaydar.
"Some people and their Gaydar..." said a gay latino guy.
Bender's Gaydar device beeped giving off a high reading.
The Robot With No Name was at the bar.
"Alive or dead, it's your choice." He held the bar at gun point.
Bender sighed. "This bar always gets rowdy on the weekend..."
"Underaged, my ass..." said Oscar drinking beer despite being too young to drink...
Bender slugged down his beer and belched fire.
Some merry drunks were laughing and playing cards.
"My mule don't like people laughing..." said The Robot With No Name.
Oscar winced.
Mom Corp. The triplets had failed to get Fry.
"Damn bastards! You idiots!" Mom yelled gulping down a soda. "Two calories! Not evil enough!"
"Mother we-" said Walt.
"Shut up!" Mom slapped her sons.
"Get those anchovies!" She yelled.
Fry's primitive apartment. He is watching Sanford and Son.
(Studio laughter)
Fry chuckled.
His intercom buzzed.
"Ugh... go away..." He groaned.
"How rude!" said Oscar.
Fry sighed and reluctantly let Oscar in.
"Are you here to tell me to quit living in the twentieth century too?" Fry sighed.
"No! I'd give anything to go back to the 1990s! Just me... and my Disney cartoons... Ah sweet Ducktales..." said Oscar.
Fry stood in just his underwear and a greasy vest winced.
Fry made himself a microwave burrito, he liked them still a little frozen in the middle...
Oscar flicked the TV over.
"Hey I was watching that!" Fry groaned.
"I want to watch Ducktales..." Oscar whined.
...
Planet Express Headquarters.
"Shoo! Shoo!" Hermes shooed out some owls. Because owls are vermin in the future.
"Good News Everyone! Except Fry who quit last week to live in the past. Ie sitting in his underwear in an antique apartment watching reruns of ancient TV shows..." said the Professor.
Leela sighed. She felt Fry was being foolish.
Elsewhere Fry bumped into Walt wearing a classic "Tie the maiden to train tracks." moustache.
"Who are you?" Fry asked.
"I'm Mr Panucci, you're late for work Fry." said Walt.
"Mr Panucci does not have a moustache..." said Fry.
Walt sighed.
"And you're not fat with a beer gut wearing a greasy vest..." said Fry.
Walt sighed and nodded to his brothers. They seize Fry and bundle him into a hover car.