My Three Suns Fry is very thirsty on a desert planet and drinks a bottle of water. However the planet is home to sentient water elemental aliens and he drank their king...
Plot
Bender walks down the street whistling and passes a robot wash. A car wash for robots. He goes in and pays for a deluxe wash. Clamps hold his feet and the conveyor belt takes him through the wash.
He sings Car Wash. But with the lyrics Bot Wash.
"Going through the Bot Wash! Woooo-oooooo-oooooo... Ooooooh!"
Oscar from Shark Tale winced. Lol! references!
"Goin' through the robot wash! C'mon, y'all and sing it with me, Bot wash! Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, Bot wash, yeah!" Bender sings.
There were Fembots. Lady robots...
"Shut up baby! I know it!" said Bender. He was scrubbed and polished etc.
He arrives out of the Robot wash after a blow dry and is given a Christmas tree car air freshener. "Oooooh yeah..." said Bender admiring his clean sparkling self.
He admired his shiny metal ass...
Suddenly it rumbles with thunder and rain pours down...
Bender groaned.
The titles.
The title gag is "Now in Double Vision. For Drunks..."
Hehehe...
...
Planet Express Building.
"Bender..." Hermes was cross with Bender.
"Yeah meatbag?" Bender asked while drinking beer.
"Did you take a deluxe grade wash?!" Hermes asked annoyed.
"I have to be clean and free of rust to function properly..." said Bender.
"A sub-standard grade wash is quite adequate mon! And that is as much as the company is willing to spend! Any luxuries come out of your pay check!" said Hermes.
Bender groaned and watched TV.
All My Circuits was on.
Zoidberg then had to deal with Hermes being tight with the company funds.
"I need a spare set of clothes, I was thinking a poncho and a sombrero Clint Eastwood thing..." said Zoiberg.
Bender glared at him. "Hey! I am Mexican! I was built there!"
"Zoidberg the company funds only entitle you to one other shell..." said Hermes. Zoidberg was now dressed as a barcode.
Zoidberg groaned.
...
Later...
Bender is watching a cookery programme. The Essence of Elzar.
The host is a purple alien guy with four arms in a chef's outfit and hat.
"Hey, I'm Elzar! Welcome to the show! You know, you don't have to drive all the way to Neptune for great Neptunian food. Today we're gonna kick it up a notch as I show you how to fricassee a mouth-watering Neptunian slug." said Elzar.
"Speaking of mouth-watering..." Amy sighed.
We pan over to Oscar who is drooling and dribbling a lot as he reads a Playdude 3000AD edition porno magazine...
"Where did he even get that..." Leela asked.
"From Scruffy, the Janitor..." said Oscar. There was an old janitor with a moustache...
Scruffy mumbled and mopped the floor.
Bender watched his cookery programme.
"Now, while you grease the pan and preheat your oven to 3500 degrees, you're gonna separate the yolk from your genetically-enhanced eggplant and then give the whole thing a good blast from your spice weasel. Bam!" said Elzar.
And now for the silliness...
"How much degrees did he say?" Oscar asked looking up from his pornographic magazine he borrowed from Scruffy.
"3,500 now be quiet..." said Bender.
"It should be 9,001 degrees!" said Oscar.
"Why?! That would charcoal it!" Bender frowned.
"So it would cook at OVER NINE THOUSAAAAAAAND!" Oscar yelled.
Goku the VII winced.
...
Farnsworh's laboratory. Professor Farnsworth is sleeping.
Bender activating the automatic Star Trek doors wakes him up.
"Huh Wha?"
"Keep this nut occupied..." Bender sighed dumping Oscar on the Professor. Bender went back to watching his cookery programme.
Farnsworth was baffled.
"Can you even cook things at 3,500 degrees Farenheit?" Oscar asked.
Hermes's office.
"Hermes, in my duties as intern I require a new..." said Amy.
"The company will not pay for a new stapler Amy..." said Hermes.
Amy swore in Cantonese under her breath.
Bender was watching his show.
"Now you'll want to serve your Gagh, live and squirming." said Elzar.
Bender made notes.
...
Planet Express Dining Room.
"Ooooooh! That cookery show is ridiculous Oscar." said the Professor. "First of all all living matter burns to carbon at 2400 farenheit roughly... And In order to cook Neptunian Slug at 3,500 farenheit you'd need all your pots and pans to be made of iridium!"
"Cooooool!" said Oscar.
Bender huffed.
"Why are you even watching a cookery show? Do you want to cook?!" Fry asked.
"Um no..." said Bender stuttering.
"Oh my gosh! Bender wants to cook! How cute!" said Amy.
Bender groaned.
"Canapés sir." said a butler to Fry, holding a tray of canapés.
"Thank you Clarence." said Fry to his butler.
"He should have got a black one like Geoffrey from The Fresh Prince of Bel Air..." said Oscar.
Bender rewinds his show and takes notes on how to cook Neptunian Slug.
"...you're gonna separate the yolk from your genetically-enhanced eggplant..." Elzar cracked an eggplant like an egg and yolk and raw egg white poured out.
Fry winced baffled.
"Then get out your spice weasel. Bam!" said Elzar.
"This guy is just an alien version of Emeril Legasse..." said Fry.
"Okay... Like I care..." Bender sighed.
...
Oscar was practising his aiming with target practice as he is the ship's gunner.
A giant man-eating pigeon is blocking a street a few blocks away and looking about in a stupefied matter.
"Would ya look at that!" Oscar cooed as he can see the pigeon from the gun pod.
"Oz focus on the targets..." said Leela.
Oscar sighed and blasted a target.
Bender was watching his show still.
"Of course, your most important ingredient is this baby right here: The Neptunian slug. You can get it in a can but to really do things right you gotta strangle yourself a fresh one. Now this is why you need cast iron equipment..." said Elzar.
The neptunian slug snarls and grows bigger, and bigger...
Bender screamed.
Elzar started hitting the slug with a frying pan.
"Bender..." Hermes sighed.
"Meatbag... I'm watching something..." Bender groaned.
"Bender you were programmed to serve, not watch TV..." said Hermes.
"Give me something to bend then..." said Bender.
Hermes seethed.
"Wait! I'll be the ship's cook!" said Bender.
"Okay..." said Hermes.
...
The ship. Bender is wearing a chef hat and apron.
"You're gonna be the ships cook?" Fry asked.
"Yeah! We're gonna kick it up a notch. Bam!" said Bender.
Oscar snapped his fingers. Bamm Bamm from The Flintstones appeared.
"Bamm! Bamm Bamm!" Bamm-Bamm clobbered Bender with his club.
Oscar laughed.
"Stop this craziness!" Bender whined.
"I know you like cooking shows but you're a robot, you don't even have a sense of taste." said Leela.
" Honey, I wouldn't talk about taste if I was wearing a lime green tank top." Bender was being sassy. Leela frowned.
"Bam!" said Fry.
Oscar laughed.
Leela huffed.
"Anyway, If I am gonna cook, I am gonna need ingredients for tonight..." said Bender.
"Bender we're on duty... We can't just go shopping-" said Leela.
"To Little Neptune!" said Bender.
...
A district called Little Neptune.
"So this is Little Neptune?" asked Fry.
"Yep. Every chef knows that this is the place to get exotic gourmet ingredients." said Bender still dressed as a chef.
"Coooool! An erotic dance lounge..." said Oscar seeing a pole dancing lounge that had a neon sign that read "Girls, Girls, Aliens."
Leela sighed. "Trust Oz to notice that..."
They looked about town.
"This place has everything..." said Fry.
"Yes, for all sorts of people..." said Leela.
A drug addict was buying crack from a vending machine.
Oscar chuckled. "You're right Leela! They do sell "Druuuuuugs" now..."
Leela sighed. "Don't get any ideas Oscar..."
There was a back alley organ merchant and surgeon. Fry was moseying around.
"I sell eyes, hearts, lungs..." said the salesman. "I can give you gills!"
"Ooooooooh!" said Fry interested.
"Fry no!" Leela dragged him away acting like a big sister to him.
"Leave me alone! I want gills.." said Fry.
Oscar laughed.
Leela took a deep breath and talked through clenched teeth.
"Fry, you have to be more careful. We're not in the 20th century. You don't know how things work here."
Fry sulked.
...
They walked the streets of Little Neptune.
"Fry come on! Do I have to hold your hand?!" Leela sighed glancing back at him to check he didn't go back to the shady back alley surgeon.
Fry muttered dawdling behind.
Bender was checking his shopping list.
There was a head store with heads in jars.
Oscar laughed.
Leela sighed.
"You think Princess Mombi from Return to Oz shops there?" said Oscar.
"I don't know..." Leela sighed.
Fry vanished.
"Fry... Fry...! Oooooooh! One moment Bender..." said Leela.
Fry was back at the organ merchant shady guy.
"What do the eyes do?" Fry asked.
"They give you X Ray vision." said the shady, creepy guy with a strong Balkan accent.
"Your jacket says Z Ray." said Fry.
"Yes, well that better than X Ray. No?" said the surgeon.
"Oh yeah that makes sense." said Fry.
They were chatting when Leela found Fry and dragged him away.
"Hyyyyyerk!"
...
"Will you stop treating me like a kid?!" Fry yelled.
"Well quit acting like a kid!" said Leela. "Fry, these streets, particularly this neighbourhood, are very, very dangerous! There are a lot of unscrupulous people around! Like that organ harvesting guy..."
"Leela I know these streets..." Fry hissed.
"No you don't..." said Leela.
"Ooooooh! Look at that guy!" said Oscar gawking at all the aliens slithering or walking about.
"Oz don't stare!" said Leela.
Plot 2
Neptunian butcher. He sells various kinds of meat...
"Wow! You guys sell every kind of meat here except human!" said Fry.
"What? You want human?" The Neptunian asked.
Oscar laughed. "Coooooool!"
Leela sighed.
"Well?" the butcher asked.
"Yes I'll have a human thigh with fava beans and a nice chianti..." Oscar did a creepy Hannibal rasp.
Leela rolled her eye.
Leela picks up a jar with an odd looking root inside. "What's this spice for?"
"That's powdered swamp root. Makes you irresistible to the opposite sex." said the butcher.
"Oh, that's ridiculous! (whispering) I'll take two pounds!" said Leela.
Oscar rolled his eyes.
Bender was looking at the cuts of slug meat.
"Hey, buddy. I'm looking for fresh slug." Bender asked.
"Yellow or purple?" The Neptunian asked.
"Whatever..." said Bender.
"The purple one causes terrible nightmare-ish diarrhoea." the butcher explained.
Oscar laughed hysterically. "Coooooool!"
Leela sighed.
"Like I said, either one will do..." said Bender.
"Uh Bender..." Fry stammered.
"Cooooool! I'll end up fudging my diapee really badly tonight!" Oscar laughed.
Leela sighed.
Elsewhere the druggie guy was buying crack from the vending machine. it got stuck.
"Oh come on! Don't hold out on me man!" He cried.
An Omicronian rolled his eyes.
The drug addict wept.
...
They paid for their slug. They then had to buy some spices, however Fry ran off again...
Leela sighed.
Fry was back at organ surgeon creep's stall deciding to purchase some gills to be grafted on.
"Now that you mention it, I do have trouble breathing underwater sometimes. I'll take the gills." said Fry.
"Yeah with gills you no longer need lungs right?" The shady back alley guy asked.
"Can't think why I would." said Fry.
"Excellent, Lie down. Nurse will remove lungs, gills come three days later..." said the shady guy.
Uh... yeah... He's a con artist...
"Feh..." said the nurse who was some alley hooker smoking a cigarette.
Fry pondered how he was gonna breath during those three days as the nurse held him down.
Suddenly Leela came to the rescue as she fly kicked the shady guy and kung fu'd everyone with bad ass moves.
"Coooooool!" Oscar cooed. "I didn't know you could do fight!"
Leela kicked everyone's ass. She admonished Fry. "Fry I warned you about that guy..."
"I would have been happier with gills..." said Fry sulking.
Oscar laughed.
The shady guy got out a scalpel to hurl at Leela. But Bender caught it in his torso compartment of mystery.
"Thank you!" said Bender.
Leela berated Fry all the way home.
"What the hell were you doing? I warned you to stay away from those guys."
"I am capable of making my own decisions! Did it occur to you I'd be happier with gills?!" Fry yelled.
"Fry, she obviously cares about you!" Oscar cut in.
Leela smiled weakly at Oscar.
"So?" Fry huffed.
"A lot of people would have left you to die at the hands of that back alley surgeon..." said Oscar.
"Fry is one of his moods again..." said Leela.
Fry frowned at her.
...
Planet Express building. The crew returned home.
"Good news, everyone!" said the Professor.
"Uh-oh, I don't like the sound of that." said Bender drinking beer.
"You'll be making a delivery to the planet Trisol..." said Farnsworth.
"Here it comes..." said Bender.
Oscar was looking very eager to find out if the planet was morbidly funny or weird like the killer robot planet.
"A mysterious world in the darkest depths of the Forbidden Zone." said Farnsworth.
"Thank you, and goodnight..." said Bender refusing go do the mission as he slugged down his beer.
Oscar laughed. "Cooooool!"
Fry winced at him.
"Uh, Professor, are we even allowed in the Forbidden Zone?" Leela sighed.
"Why, of course! It's just a name! Like the Death Zone or the Zone of No Return. All the zones have names like that in the Galaxy of Terror!" said Professor Farnsworth.
Oscar laughed.
Leela sighed.
"Oz, do you find everything weird remotely amusing...?" Amy sighed.
Oscar was in fits of laughter and could not answer.
"Can we go to the Phantom Zone from Superman II next?" Oscar asked giggling.
Leela face palmed.
"Professor..."
"Off you go. Pleasant trip!" said Farnsworth.
Oscar chuckled.
Fry, Leela and Oscar found Bender watching TV.
"The Professor assigned all four of us, including you Bender..." said Leela.
Bender groaned and got up.
"Besides you said you'll be cooking our dinners on long haul flights from now on..." said Leela.
Bender sighed.
...
The ship.
"Further news everyone!" said Farnsworth.
Bender groaned.
"Amy and Zoidberg will be joining you on this mission." said Farnsworth.
Amy sighed peeved.
"Ah how wise Professor, the crew needs a doctor..." said Zoidberg.
"Zee, can you give me Gills?" Fry asked.
"My name is Zoidberg! John Fu-" said Zoidberg.
"Yes, yes we know, Fry asked you a question!" Farnsworh asked.
"Professor don't encourage Fry..." Leela sighed.
Fry glared at her.
Later they are all heading to Trisol.
"A desert planet with three suns." said Leela.
"Did you say dessert planet..." Oscar asked.
"No. Desert..." said Leela.
"With three suns..." said Amy.
"So... Like Tatooine but with an extra sun..." said Oscar.
"Well three's a crowd." said Fry.
Later Oscar was watching My Black Son, a sitcom created by Peter Griffin, instead of sitting in the gun pod looking out for enemy craft. ie space pirates. Which is his job!
Leela sighed.
Bender was then making dinner.
"How's dinner going?" Fry asked.
"Almost done." said Bender. He got out the Neptunian slug and put an apple in its mouth. He then poured loads if salt on it... it shrivelled up...
"Oops... Oh well..." said Bender.
Everyone sits down for dinner.
"Now remember, this is Bender's first meal he has ever cooked. So be polite and sensitive..." said Leela.
Oscar made a rude chat chat gesture with his hand.
"Okay fine..." said Fry dreading the meal.
...
Bender came in with the Neptunian slug. Amy grimaced seeing it was shrivelled up from too much salt.
He cut it up and gave everyone a tiny piece. Fry frowned.
"Well here goes." said Leela.
Bender watched.
Leela tried the slug but spat it out in disgust. "Oh God!"
"That's the saltiest thing I've ever tasted. And I've once ate a big, heaping bowl of salt!" Fry groaned.
"Why would you do that?!" Oscar asked.
Amy spat in disgust. "Bleh!"
They drink their glasses of water but spit out the water.
"Bender, is this saltwater?" Amy yelled.
"It's salt with water in it..." said Bender.
Fry waves his hand in front of his eyes.
"My vision's fading. I think I'm gonna die." Fry cried.
Oscar laughed.
"Oscar why is Fry dying funny..." Amy sighed.
"There was nothing wrong with that food. The salt level was 10% less than a lethal dose." said Bender.
"Uh oh, shouldn't have had seconds..." said Zoidberg. He keeled over dead.
"Oh great... You killed Zoidberg..." said Leela.
"Dibs on his claws!" said Oscar.
Bender sighed offended.
Later Everyone drinks water while Leela tells the Professor the news.
"Bender carelessly poisoned our meal with salt and Zoidberg is dead, so we have no crew medic..." said Leela.
"Enjoy your mission." Farnsworh didn't care. He shut off the comm link.
Leela sighed.
Later Oscar was insisting they cook Zoidberg.
...
They arrive at planet Trisol.
It was a yellow, sandy planet with three stars nearby.
They land the ship on a landing pad for starships.
"OK, Fry, here's the package to deliver. And for once in your life be careful. This is my first visit to the Galaxy of Terror and I'd like it to be a pleasant one." said Leela giving Fry the package.
Oscar chuckled. "Yeah sure... We have a pleasant time in some place called the Galaxy of Terror..."
Leela sighed. Fry is rudely mimicking her. She slaps his hand.
"Ow!" Fry groaned.
"Don't touch anything or talk to anyone. Just go to the palace, drop it off and come right back." said Leela.
Fry sighed holding the package.
"Do you understand?" Leela asked.
"Yes captain..." said Fry.
Leela gave him a sharp look that she was serious.
"Jeez, will you lay off! I was delivering things before you were born! I think I know what I'm doing." said Fry.
He leaves the ship, leaving the parcel behind. Oscar laughed.
Fry muttering returned and took the parcel.
He walked about in the desert. it was sweltering hot.
"Stupid slug. I've never been so thirsty." Fry groaned.
On the ship. "He really should have put on sun cream..." said Leela.
Oscar shrugged.
Fry panted as he trudged about the planet looking for a sandstone palace.
The orange sun was setting. "Hurry up, stupid sun..." Fry groaned. It was soon night. He sighed relieved.
However a much larger yellow sun rose. Followed by a smaller white one.
Binary Sunset from Star Wars played.
Fry groaned. He continued sweating as he made his way to the customer.
He arrived at a sandstone palace.
Plot 3
The ship. Everyone played Go Fish.
"Any threes?" Amy asked.
"Go Fish..." Oscar sighed.
The Sandstone palace.
"Hello? Anybody home?" Fry asked. He entered a throne room. The throne was empty but a bottle of water sat on a table nearby. Fry drinks it.
Two puddles of water form then the morph into liquid people, water elementals. They are guards.
"The royal bottle is empty!" A guard gasped.
"You drank our emperor!" said the other.
"No I didn't." Fry belched and chuckled sheepishly.
More water aliens arrived.
"You drank our Emperor! You assassinated him!" A guard yelled brandishing a spear.
"I didn't mean to!" Fry whined. "He was just cool and refreshing..."
"I'm sure he was..." said the third guard to speak.
"But now he's gone and your fate is sealed." said the first guard. Fry thinks they are gonna kill him. However they all bow to him. "All hail the new Emperor."
They bow to Fry. "Hail!"
Fry has a smug grin, he seems pleased to be emperor...
Later.
"Fry's obviously got himself killed or something..." said Bender.
Leela sighed. The crew head to where Fry was supposed to deliver the package.
"All he had to do is give it to Emperor Bont or one of his guards..."
The crew Finds Fry is now emperor of the planet. The water people or Trisolians are fanning him.
Leela sighed.
"So after I specifically asked you not to touch anything, you drank a bottle of strange blue liquid? It could have been poisonous acid!"
Oscar laughed.
"It could have, but equally it could have been a cool, refreshing emperor..." said Fry.
"So let me get this straight... The people here..." Oscar asked.
"Trisolians." said Leela.
"They are made of water..." said Oscar.
"Yes..."
"OMG! Then Liquidator from Darkwing Duck lives here!" Oscar yelled.
Leela was baffled.
...
They ignore Oscar for the time being and talk to Fry.
Fry eats grapes.
"Excuse me, Your Majesty, I am Merg, the High Priest. If I might interject?" said a water being with a Droopy dog voice.
Oscar winced.
"You may." said Fry.
"I humbly advise that as your first act you choose a capable Prime Minister. I suggest Gorgak, the previous appointee." Merg introduces a similar looking Trisolian except he is wearing a red cap and cape, Merg wore purple.
"I will be a forceful and effective administrator." said Gorgak.
"Cooooool! Forceful..." Oscar cooed.
"You know, Fry, I've often thought about becoming a Prime Minister." said Bender.
Oscar gasped. "Hell no! You already poisoned us as a chef, and the less we say about your brief stint as a magician the better!"
Bender shook his fist at Oscar.
"I gotta go with Bender." said Fry.
"Ha! In your face Gorgak!" said Bender mocking Gorkak.
"Okay That's it... Fry we're going back to the ship..." said Leela.
The guards block her with crossed spears.
"You guys can go home. This is my empire now..." said Fry.
Leela sighed.
"All in favour of Bender assuming Gorgak's role as prime minister?" A Trisolian asked.
"Yay!" said nearly everyone.
"And against?" the Trisolian official asked.
"Nay..." said Merg. Because we had to reference the nay dude from the Simpsons...
Oscar laughed. "This planet has that guy too..."
Leela sighed.
Bender was being fanned as the new prime minister.
"Your Highness, a package came for you." A Trisolian gave Fry the package.
It was a wall sign that read: "Please do nut drink the emperor."
"Just in time." said Fry.
"Oh how ironic..." said Oscar.
"Shaddup..." said Bender.
...
Fry was taken to a room full of bottles of water.
"This is your royal harem, You may choose any of these women to be your royal consort." said Merg. Ie for sex etc...
"He might drink them..." said Oscar.
Fry sighed annoyed.
"Um, how about that one?" Fry picked a random bottle.
"Oh! I didn't realise Your Majesty was into that sort of thing!" said Merg. Something was uh weird with that lady...
"On second thought, I'll take that one." said Fry picking out another.
"Meh... It's your choice, it's not my place to judge..." said Merg.
The throne room. Amy has her finger in a glass of water stirring it around. Leela has some sensible questions.
"Does anyone else think it's odd that a shiftless 25-year-old delivery boy could drop out of the sky, kill the emperor and be rewarded instead of punished?"
Fry frowned at Leela.
"That's a good question! Hey, how comes you guys aren't angry that Fry killed your emperor?" Oscar asked.
"Oooooh... All our emperors came to power by assassinating their predecessor..." said Gorgak chilled and mild mannered.
Leela was concerned for Fry.
"I don't think you have anything to worry about. These people seem really mild-mannered." said Amy.
"They are mild, in fact you're soaking in one right now..." said Zoidberg.
Amy yelped as Merg was in the glass.
"You touched me in ways I've never been touched before." said Merg.
Oscar laughed. "That's what he said..."
Bender face palmed.
"Oooooh Oz..." Leela sighed.
Merg then got to the important stuff. Ie Fry's coronation etc.
"Will there be cake?" Fry asked.
Oscar laughed. "Mmmmm, cake..."
Guest room in the palace. Leela paced up and down. "Fry is in terrible danger!"
"I wonder if it's really offensive to bring bath sponges to this planet..." said Oscar.
"Uh... probably!" said Amy.
...
The throne room. Merg and Gorzak advise Fry of the planet's traditions.
"Will there be any long winded, boring speeches?" Fry asked.
"No just one flawless recitation of the royal oath, by you." said Merg.
"Beyoncé will be there?!" Fry asked.
The coronation dinner.
"Hi." Amy waved at Merg.
Merg blushed and chuckled in love.
Oscar winced.
Fry poured Gorzak a drink.
Merg announced a comedian was about to perform.
"Get ready to leak from your sides, for the funniest jokester this side of Trisiol, Florp!" said Merg.
A water being oozed on stage.
"Thank you! Thank you!" said the comedian. "Now what is the deal with people who live under the orange sun? They're all like (He talks in a silly dolphin like voice) Hello! Hello!"
Everyone even Fry laughs.
"Haaaaauuuw! He sounds like a dolpha! Dolpha!" Oscar squealed.
"And what is with people living under the yellow sun? They're like, Ooooooooh! Oooooooh!" He talks in a seductive tone.
Everyone laughs.
"Thank you!" said the comedian.
Then suddenly Liquidator from Darkwing Duck bursts in through the doors.
Everyone gasped.
"You're all washed up! Ha! Washed up!" Liquidator laughed.
Guards assemble holding their pointy spears.
"Oh I have more wet puns, ya drip! Ha!" said Liquidator laughing.
"Fry you're in terrible danger!" said Leela.
"Yeah from a cheap Saturday morning cartoon villain..." said Fry.
"Hey! I am not cheap!" said Liquidator frowning.
Oscar winced.
"No I mean, come with me..." said Leela.
Fry left with Leela.
...
In a corridor lined with portraits of Trisolian emperors.
"You see Emperor Plon here?" said Leela. She points at a painting. "He met his end when he was drunk by Emperor Strug. And before he could even wipe his mouth, Strug was drunk by Shwab." Okay that does it!
Principal Skinner was drawing a schwa on a chalkboard. "Now don't be alarmed children, this is a schwa."
Leela and Fry winced.
Leela explained more emperors killed each other by drinking their predecessors.
"So?" Fry asked.
"Look at all these guys. Do you have any idea what the average length of their reigns was?" Leela asked.
"Um.. 50,000 years?" Fry asked.
"No. One week." said Leela.
"Damn! I knew you wouldn't have asked unless it was really high or really low." Fry sighed.
"Would you kids like a steamed ham? Patented Skinner burgers!" said Skinner.
Leela and Fry frown at him.
He soon vanishes in a puff of smoke.
"Every Emperor ascended to power by assassinating the previous one. And guess who's next?" said Leela.
There was a blank portrait labelled Fry's assassin. And one labelled Fry's Assassin's assassin.
Fry gulped.
"Well at least my killer will get what's coming to him." said Fry.
"You're in tremendous danger, you idiot! Half of these Emperors were drunk at their own coronation." Leela said sharply, acting like a big sister to him.
"Hey, I plan on having a few brewskis myself." said Fry.
Oscar laughed.
"No, they were assassinated. In fact, the law says you'll be killed on the spot if you fail to recite the oath from memory." said Leela.
She held up a very large red book that said Royal Oaths Vol 1.
"Awww... I hate reading..." Fry groaned.
"Fry..." Leela sighed.
"Yeah, I was going to thumb through that later." said Fry.
Leela sighed exasperated.
...
The royal dinner.
"I wonder what's for dinner?" asked King Harkinian.
Oscar winced.
"What's taking Fry and the cyclops so long?" Bender asked.
"I dunno." said Oscar.
Amy was now dating Merg. Well she did once date a being of pure energy...
Oscar winced.
Back at the paintings.
"Fry you are being totally reckless!" Leela nagged.
Fry then started discussing fables, which he grotesquely mangled in an amusing fashion...
"This is the story of the grasshopper and the octopus..." said Fry.
"Uh it's The Grasshopper and the Ant, Fry..." Leela sighed.
Fry frowned.
"All year long the grasshopper kept burying acorns for winter while the octopus mooched off his girlfriend and watched TV. But then the winter came and the grasshopper died and the octopus ate all his acorns and also he got a racecar. Is any of this getting through to you?" He ranted.
"That was one cool story!" Oscar cooed.
"Forget it. I am not helping you out of this mess Fry..." Leela stormed off.
"If anyone besides Fry needs me, I'll be in the ship..." said Leela.
"Yeah gather your acorns, you nagging grasshopper!" Fry sulked.
Leela seethed and went off to the ship.
"Leela wait!" Oscar pleaded. "Go after her and apologise!" He nagged.
"No way..." said Fry.
"Then die at your coronation on this stupid desert planet with no friggin dessert!" Oscar went off fuming.
Fry sighed. "No one is drinking me."
A panel in a painting opened and a straw tries to drink Fry.
"Quit it!" Fry yelled brushing the straw away.
"(Snorts with laughter) Okay the straw drinking him was funny..." said Oscar writing a script.
Plot 4