A Flight to Remember Futurama parodies Titanic. But in space!
Plot
The Planet Express ship arrives back to Earth from a mission. The ship lands in tbe Planet Express headquarters hangar. Fry, Leela, Bender and Oscar leave the ship. Their hair is ruffled and their clothes are torn and grubby as iff they have been in war or something.
"That was the worst delivery ever." Leela griped agitated.
"Yeah. I'm never going to another planet called "Cannibalon"!" Fry groaned.
Oscar chuckled. Fry glared at him.
"Me neither" Bender sighed. "Food was great though!" He cheered up.
Oscar laughed.
Fry sighed.
"I ate some guys liver with Fava beans and a nice chianti..." said Oscar. He made the creepy Hannibal Lecter slurping sound when he explained he ate some guy's liver.
Fry gawked at him.
Oscar says no more as he lifts up from somewhere a human leg he tore off from someone and takes a hearty bite of flesh from it.
The crew head to the conference room. Farnsworth is waiting for them. He is having a cup of tea.
"Oh, great news, everyone." said the Professor.
"Shove it! We quit!" Bender snapped.
"In that case I'll have to hire a new crew to go on our company vacation." said Farnsworth.
"A vacation?" Leela asked.
"Alright!" said Bender. He high fives Fry.
"Yes but you're all quitting." said Professor Farnsworth.
"Uh... We change our mind. We love working for you." said Bender quickly.
"This is great! I haven't had time off since I was 21 through 24."
Oscar snapped his fingers. Coolio appeared. "Did you Vacay to Gangsters Paradise then?"
Fry face palmed. "No!" He yelled frustrated.
They sit down. Farnsworth has a brochure.
"It's just my way of thanking you for not reporting my countless violations of safety and minimum wage laws." said Farnsworth.
"Awwwww! You!" Bender hugs the Professor.
Oscar coughs nervously. He filed a complaint.
"I've booked us all on the maiden voyage of the largest, most luxurious space cruise ship ever built." said Professor Farnsworth. He holds up the brochure. "The Titanic!"
The brochure has a picture of a rebuilt, space flight capable Titanic with bubble domes to keep the air in and rocket boosters etc. A dramatic stinger note plays.
"Looks nice." said Leela.
Ominous music plays as they are unaware of the history of the Titanic.
...
The opening titles.
The title gag is: "Filmed on Location."
The Retro cartoon is Clutch Cargo, Space Station. It's about a boy wearing a space suit and a man named Clutch.
We return to the episode at a huge floating spaceport called the Southern New New York Spaceport.
The crew fly into the departure lounge via the fast travel tubes. The spaceport is very much like an airport but for space craft.
"Hey, uh, where's my suitcase?" Fry asked. His suitcase flies out of the tube at him and knocks him over. "Ow!"
Oscar laughs at Fry.
They join the crowd outside the Titanic. Mayor Poopenmeyer has something to say.
"As Mayor of New New York, it's my pleasure to introduce the honorary captain for the Titanic's maiden voyage. A man who single-handedly defeated the Retired People of the Assisted Living Nebula: Zapp Brannigan!"
"Coooooool! He went to war with the elderly..." said Oscar. Oz that is not cool...
Fry winced at Oscar.
Zapp Brannigan arrived on stage. He is in this episode a lot too, after Vergon 6, The Talosians, The space pirates...
"Oh, God! Not Zapp Brannigan!" Leela groaned.
"You know Zapp Brannigan?" Zoidberg asked.
"Let's just say we've "crossed paths"." Leela sighed.
"Was this before, or after you had sex with him?" Bender asked.
Fry made thar odd startled and amazed squawk again. "Hoooooooouuuuaaaaa!"
Leela sighed.
Zapp stroked the ship. "She's a beaut! Can I Christian her?"
"She already has a name." said Mayor Poophead. "This is the Titanic." A dramatic brass note plays. "Yes the same Titanic from that Leonardo DiCaprio movie..."
"And that episode of Doctor Who with Kylie Minogue!" said Oscar. Yes and that episode with the space titanic too!
"Ours came first Oz..." said Leela.
Oscar chuckled.
Zapp then threw Leonardo DiCaprio's head in a jar at the Titanic.
Oscar laughed.
Leela sighed.
...
They all embark onto the ship.
Zapp notices Leela.
"Ahh... The Lady Leela, we meet again... Prrrrrr!"
Kiff sighs.
"Watch and learn Kif." said Zapp. He struts over to Leela.
Zapp isn't the only one watching for a captivating beauty.
Amy saw Kif checking his wristwatch and shuddering as he watched his caltain make a fool of himself.
"Ahh..." She sighed, her heart fluttering as she was in love with Kif. "Oh my little green Smoochums..."
Oscar gagged.
Lerla sighed as Zapp was in front of her.
"Hellooooooo..." He said trying to sound romantic.
"Go away Zapp..." Leela sighed.
"My so frosty..." said Zapp aroused.
Amy giggled and sneaked up to Kif.
Kif sighed agitated.
"Hi!" Amy giggled.
"I am very busy with endless duties my captain torments me with... I can not speak idly right now!" said Kif in a haughty manner.
Amy sighed in love.
Bender chuckled. "Dames..."
He sees a posh looking Femme Bot heiress with her hair in a bun. Bender gasps and extends his eyes to look at her.
The Heiress stares back and smiles.
Bender's eyes drop out with two clangs. "Aww hell..."
He blindly looks for his eyes. "Come on... where is it..." He puts his eyes back in.
However the fembot is gone.
Bender groaned.
Zapp was still annoying Leela.
"Actually Zapp, I am already engaged. There you are darling." Leela pretended Fry was her fiancé.
"What?!" Fry gasped.
Oscar laughed.
...
First class suites.
Fry whistled.
"Swanky!" Oscar was impressed.
"Hermes and Le Barbara Conrad. You will be staying in First Class." said Professor Farnsworth.
"Oh how generous Professor!" Hermes was delighted.
"Zoidberg, you will stay in this aquarium." Zoidberg had a fish tank to sleep in...
Zoidberg Shrieked a weird loud gurgling sound and snapped his claws. He got into the aquarium, water splashed on the floor as it was a tight fit.
Oscar winced.
"Where are we staying Professor?" Fry asked.
"Uh..l" Well you have to take um... this elevator down to it..." said Farnsworth. Oh look theres a helpful bellhop!"
Fry and the rest of the crew got in the elevator. It leaves First Class, a fine and beautiful deck with chandeliers and ice sculptures etc.
They then drop into and soon leave Second Class which is full of tourists with fat children wearing their swimming costumes inside...
They then pass Steerage. Which us full of stereotypical poor Irish people.
The crew get the feeling they've been shafted.
They pass a deck full of laundry. The engines deck where men are refuelling the Dark Matter ovens.
The elevator stops. It opens at Fiesta Deck. A grim, dark and dank deck. water can be heard dripping occasionally.
"Looks like we're on the Fiesta Deck." said Amy sighing.
"This is it..." said Leela.
Fry opens the valve operated rusty hatch to their room. it has simple canvas beds in it.
"Well at least we have a window..." said Fry. A gust of wind blasts from the reactor exhaust pipe in his face.
"The Professor is so dead!" Oscar seethed.
"Now everyone, We're all seriously cheesed off at the Professor for shafting us just to save money. But we can still pass the evening till bedtime in the upper decks." said Leela. "We only have to sleep down here."
"I'm going to the casino to rob some rubes blind..." said Bender going to the casino.
"I think I'll go and fill up on bisque at the buffet." said Amy going to stuff herself at the buffet.
"I'm off to reference the Titanic movie constantly!" Oscar goes off to make constant Titanic references...
Fry and Leela were left alone.
"I guess that just leaves you and your fake fianc´ ... all alone ... on a romantic cruise." Fry gets horny as he puts his arm round her.
"Take it off, before I break it off!" Leela snapped.
Fry backed off immediately.
...
The casino. Bender is at the craps table.
He uses his green Terminator vision to cheat.
He gets the number he wanted. "Oh yeah!"
"Lucky again... sir..." The craps table steward glares at him, sensing he is cheating somehow.
The Robot Devil is at the bar.
"What will it be your unholiness?" Izac the bartender asked.
"Get me your cheapest, largest, strongest drink." said the Robot Devil.
"Coming right up!" said Izac. He made a drink.
The heiress fembot comes to the craps table.
The steward wept as Bender bankrupted the table.
Bender gasped. "Allow me to introduce myself. I'm Bender." He greets her.
"Charmed. I'm the Countess de la Roca. I was surprised to see another robot staying in first class. Most of the robots I meet are labourers." said the Countess.
"I hardly know the meaning of labour." said Bender charming her.
The Countess giggled.
Suddenly a Dowager robot built to resemble an older woman arrived.
"Roca my dear! Get a way from that ruffian! I have found a nice boy I would like you to marry!" said the dowager.
We pan round to a posh robot wearing a monocle. He has a moustache and a well groomed hairdo.
The Countess sighed and obeyed her mother or aunt etc.
Bender sighed as she left.
Flutes play Celine Dion music. Particularly the tune to My Heart Will Go On.
Bender goes to the bar.
"What can I get you Romeo?" Izac asked.
"Your most expensive drink." said Bender giving him loads of money. Bender changes up his own chips to money.
Izac gave him a fancy cocktail.
At another games table.
"Awwww, snake eyes..." A fat guy in casual clothes groaned.
"Yes, yes... tough luck sir..." said the table steward.
...
The buffet deck.
Amy serves herself a small bowl of some bisque.
Oscar grabbed a whole lobster, several chicken wings and so on as he filled his tray...
Amy sighed grossed out by his gluttony.
She gasped and dropped her bowl as she saw something shocking.
"Hi pumpkin!" said an elderly Chinese woman dressed as a cowgirl with her equally wrinkled husband.
"Ah so! Ah so! Me vely happy to gleet you! Sweet and sour haw shaaaaaaw!" Oscar was um... being racist... He wore a cymbal on his head...
"Mom? Dad?! What are you doing here?!" Amy whined.
"We're on vacation! But now you're here, we do some meddling!" said her dad.
"Why you not married?! Where are our grandchildren?!" Mom nagged.
Amy sighed.
"Ah so! Ah so!" Oscar was pulling at his eyelids, doing racist Chink eye gestures.
Amy glared at him.
Plot 2
First Class dining room.
Countess De la Roca was forcefully introduced to a posh young robot by her nagging mother or aunt.
"We want to keep our oil blue!" The Dowager yelled.
The Countess sighed.
"Charmed." said the posh robot in a Billy Zane voice.
The Countess wasn't interested in him though. She liked the common ruffian.
Bender sighed as he gazed at her from afar.
Elsewhere Zapp sat opposite Leela.
Leela sighed annoyed by his constant attempts to flatter her.
"Uh Captain you're supposed to be steering the vessel..." said Kif.
Zapp sighed agitated and went off to steer the vessel.
Back at the buffet deck.
"It's okay Sweetie, We found you a husband!" said Amy's mom to Amy.
"He's that guy over there!" said Amy's dad.
A fat guy in a t shirt and shorts was leaning over the sneeze guard and dipping his fingers in the food rudely.
"Eeeeeeew..." Oscar groaned.
"Right that's it! You have been warned sir!" Stewards drag the man out.
"Eh... plenty more fish in the sea..." said Amy's dad.
Amy sighed.
Leela and Fry arrive.
"Hey Amy!" said Leela.
"Leela I need a favour! Let Fry pretend to be my fiancé! Just to get my parents to stop finding me boyfriends!" Amy whined.
"I'm sorry but He's pretending to be my fiancé to get Zapp to leave me alone." said Leela.
Amy sighed.
"And I have fallen for beautiful Countess!" Bender wept.
Oscar laughed.
...
Elsewhere on the ship. The head of Leonardo DiCaprio as Jack was in love with the head of Kate Winslet as Rose.
However Rose's mother didn't want her marrying a ruffian. She found her a posh but foul tempered young man called Caledon.
There was an evil looking young guy with neatly combed black hair. Unfortunately he is voiced by Billy Zane...
"Supreme darkness! Everlasting darkness! DARKNESS!" He screamed.
"Oh crud..." Bart as a head in a jar groaned.
Oscar laughed.
"SUBMIT!" Caledon yelled.
"Have you actually watched this movie..." Bart groaned.
"No. But it's got Billy Zane in it!" Oscar cheered delighted by Ansem's voice actor being in Titanic...
Bart sighed exasperated.
The Ship's wheel. Zapp is navigating.
"Kif, I'm feeling the captain's itch." said Zapp.
"I'll get the ointment..." Kif sighed.
"No it's not that." said Zapp.
Kif sighed.
"It's just this journey is so boring! Earth to this weird violet planet and back again..." said Zapp.
"Sir that is the route the travel company has given us..." said Kif.
"This route is for school girls!" Zapp remarked wanting some excitement.
"Yes sir, a second class suite was booked out by a class of girls from fifth grade. How very observant..." said Kif.
"No I mean this route is for wimps!" said Zapp. He draws a longer, squiggly route in and out of the asteroid belts. "Now this is a route with more chest hairs!"
"But that course leads directly through a swarm of comets." Kif warned him.
"Icebergs of space! You know Kif an iceberg once sunk this fine vessel..." said Zapp.
"So why are you doing this..." Kiff sighed.
"Putting a little jalapeño in our tail pipe." said Zapp.
...
Ship's bowels.
There is a weird ethereal grinding and screeching sound of some fantastic, highly advanced time machine arriving. Suddenly a blue box becomes translucent, then solidifies. The blue box resembling a British Police phone box settled in a corner looking a bit out of place on a futuristic looking space cruiser.
Suddenly out stepped a man in a brown pinstriped suit wearing a drab trench coat. He wore black thick rimmed glasses and his hair was styled into a chestnut shades quiff. On his feet he wore Converse Allstars.
"Allons-y!" said the Doctor in French.
He snuck his way up to First Class. No one seemed bothered by the stowaway.
The Doctor pulled out his Sonic Screwdriver to scan things for anything unusual. The device in his hand buzzed as the tip glowed blue.
A short red alien with spikes about his skin waddled past.
"Bannakaffalata requests you move out of Bannakaffalata's way, please." said the alien.
The Doctor politely moved out of his way.
"Thank you." said BannaKaffalata.
At a table Evil Tony Gordon from Coronation Street was sipping a cocktail. No I have no idea WHY he was casted in Voyage of the Damned!
Oh wait, he's snobbish businessman or something...
The Doctor meanwhile bumps into a waitress.
The blonde waitress is called Astrid. They somehow convinced Kylie Minogue of all people to play a minor character in a British Sci-fi...
Astrid explains the Titanic is travelling to and from Earth aka Sol 3 to extraterrestrials.
The Doctor then is invited to sit at a table by a bubbly and friendly couple. A very fat couple at that.
"I'm Morvin van Hoff. And this is my wife, Foon!" said Morvin.
"Dig in! We have ordered all you can eat chicken wings anyway! So the plates will keep coming!" said Foon.
"I'm the Doctor." said the Doctor.
"Nice to meet you Doctor. Although my wife and I are in perfect health thank you." said Morvin.
"No I-" said the Doctor.
A golden angel robot arrived.
"Information. What are you doing here." said the angel robot.
"Oh we invited him." said Foon.
The angel robot left.
...
The buffet deck.
"Why the hell is there Doctor Who in this adventure too?!" Bart groaned.
"I think the answer is obvious given the Doctor was also on a Titanic in space..." said Oscar to Bart's head in a jar.
Bart groaned flustered.
Homer with his head in a jar on a robot body did a "He's crazy!" gesture with his finger.
"I saw that! You think I have a clock in my head! Don't you!?" Oscar yelled.
Everyone made handbag sounds. Ie they went "Oooooooooooooooh!"
The top deck. Fry and Leela are admiring the view.
"Our room maybe awful, but it is lovely up here." said Leela.
Zapp arrived with flowers.
Leela pretended to snog Fry.
Zapp sighed and threw his bouquet aside and left.
"Don't get any funny ideas Fry, that was just to get rid of Zapp." said Leela.
Fry sighed.
"And the fans, who insist in shipping us..."
Fat nerds are holding banners that read "Fry X Leela".
"Go on! Make out!" said a fat nerd.
Leela sighed exasperated.
Amy arrived.
"Pleeeeeease! My parents are trying to get me to date viscount twice my age!" Amy whined.
Fry took Amy by her arm.
"Ah! This is the husband who has failed to impregnate my daughter!" said Mr Wong.
"Uh yeah..." said Fry.
"Very shamefur! Make babies!" said Mrs Wong impatiently.
"Mooooooom!" Amy yelled embarassed.
"Ah so! Ah so! Me rikey not so much!" said Oscar being racist and pulling at his eyelids.
Amy glared at him.
"Oz seriously..." Leela sighed.
...
UV deck area. Under UV light Fry and Leela are resting on sun beds. Leela acts hurt with Fry.
"What? You have made it clear you don't actually fancy me your just doing this pretend couple thing to get Zapp to leave you alone. We mean nothing as a couple, sadly." said Fry.
Leela softened her expression and tone.
"Fry what do you really think of me?"
"I do think you're hot. The eye doesn't bother me." said Fry.
Leela smiled.
"But you do nag me sometimes." said Fry.
Leela sighed. "You seem nice. But you annoy me when you get yourself or all of us i to trouble when you act impulsively. Like when you drank that emperor..." said Leela.
Fry sighed.
Amy arrived. She grabbed Fry and started snogging him.
Leela sighed.
"She's only doing this to get her parents to stop finding her suitors... She really loves that green dude, errrr Kif." said Fry.
"Well she has a funny way of showing it..." said Leela.
"Fry X Leela is canon!" the fat nerds cried.
Fry gawked at the nerds.
Computer lounge deck. Oscar was editing the behind the scenes video of John Barrowman offering David Tennant cake.
"I have cake." followed by "Woohoo!"
Oscar edited the dialogue with a few mouse clicks.
"David, Ducktales."
"Woohoooooooo!" David Tennant cheered.
Oscar laughed at his video. He uploaded it to the internet.
The First Class cabins, Countess De la Roca's cabin.
"Mind if I freshen up before we go out?" The countess asked.
"No go ahead and make yourself pretty, Baby." Bender slapped her butt.
The Countess giggled.
She goes to her bathroom. A power drill is heard, and saws etc...
The Countess leaves a few seconds later.
"May I?" Bender offered to take her hand.
The Countess giggled. They locked arms romantically.
...
The foyer. Jack is dating Rose.
"How do you like my diamond?" Rose asked.
"It is beautiful." said Jack. "But not as beautiful as you."
Rose giggled. They snogged.
The dowager was outraged. She fainted.
"I say!" said her husband wearing a monocle. He dropped his monocle in his drink.
Caledon was furious. He flipped a table over.
Rose gasped.
"ROSE WILL MARRY ME!" Caledon screamed. Dark energy flickers like purple flames from him. "Darkness is the heart's true essence..."
Jack grimaced.
"Okay enough if the darkness talk Caledon!" said Oscar brandishing a giant key.
"Stop referencing Kingdom Hearts!" Bart yelled.
Caledon floats. "A meaningless effort. One who knows nothing, can only understand nothing..."
Oscar glared at Caledon.
"I must go. Heartless! Destroy them!" Caledon left but not before unleashing the Heartless!
Bart face palmed. I uh gave him his body back.
The captain's deck.
"Sir I must protest..." Kif thought the new route in and out of the asteroid belts was dangerous.
"I'd rather you didn't Kif! I don't pay you to talk!" said Zapp ignoring him.
Kif sighed.
"Oh by the way chaps, I am the owner of this vessel, Max Capricorn. And I am deliberately crashing this vessel in an insurance scam! Oh and I have set the Golden angel robots to killer mode to eliminate any witnesses. Cheerio!" said Max. A head attached to a box.
Zapp scratched his head baffled.
The lounge where the Doctor is still talking with the Van Hoffs.
Astrid started singing Kylie songs...
"We get it... She's Kylie..." Bart groaned.
The Doctor had cakes with silver drageé or edible ball bearings on them.
"I can't get these in California for some reason..." said the Doctor.
The golden angel robots received new instructions, to kill..."
Plot 3
The casino.
Countess De la Roca was on the fruit machines.
"Yes harder... pull my lever harder baby..." said the fruit machine. What? All machines are robots.
Bender was at the bar ordering drinks.
"I don't get it. She has diamonds but I can't rob her... Why?" Bender sighed.
"Well you're in love Mr B." said Izac.
"I am having you visit 21st century Springfield. Particularly Mr Burns..." Oscar chuckled.
Bender left without paying for his drinks.
"Hey you gotta pay for those, Slim!" Izac yelled.
"Shut up!" Bender yelled.
Izac called for security.
Two burly robots manhandle Bender and beat him up.
"Ow! Oh! Damn it!"
"Fellas, please. I'm in love!" Bender cried.
"Huey Lewis and the News! Use the power of love to save him!" Oscar yelled.
Huey Lewis and his band were there...
Bart face palmed.
"No he's stealing." said Huey Lewis.
"Ah! Oh! Oh my shiny metal ass!" Bender cried.
"Oh heavens! What are you doing?!" The Countess gasped.
"This scuz-bag won't pay for his drinks!" said Izac.
"Oh! Well here, this should pay the cost of those drinks." said the Countess paying with a rather large amount of money.
Izac called off security.
Bender groaned, feeling a bit bruised.
The Countess helped him up.
They look in each other's eyes and fall in love. Yeecccch...
Romantic tunes play as they gaze at each other.
...
Back at the deck where all the characters from the James Cameron movie are...
After Caledon stormed off, The Heartless appeared. Mostly Shadows and Soldiers. The Soldier Emblem Heartless clattered about.
Oscar clonks them with his Keyblade.
"Oz for Pete's sake! You do not have a Keyblade!" Bart yelled.
"I do now!" Oscar cheered as he hit the Heartless.
Sora winced.
Jack aka Leomardo grew a moustache but every other film he's in he shaves it off again.
"Jack is that lip rug coming or going?!" Oscar yelled as he lunges through the Heartless with the Sonic Blade combo.
Jack sighed.
"Thunder!" Sora casted Thundaga upon the Heartless.
Elsewhere The Doctor met the tour guide for the outings to Earth. Mr Copper.
Unfortunately he is Richard Bucket from Keeping Up Appearances...
"Ooooooooh Richaaaaaard!" Mrs Bucket, Sorry Bouquet... called.
Mr Copper/Bucket sighed.
Mrs Bucket (Pronounced Bouquet dear..l) Insisted everyone stop for tea and cakes...
Everyone was horrified by this Britishness.
"I would love to visit for tea and cakes Mrs Bouquet!" Oscar was delighted by tea and cakes.
"Cough, Limey! Cough!" Bart coughed.
Oscar glared at him.
"I always have very distinguished guests round for tea dear!" said Hyacinth.
The passengers and Kylie were impatiently waiting to go down to Earth to gawk at its people.
"I'm sorry." said Mr Copper/Richard.
"Oooooooooh! Richaaaaaaard!" Hyacinth trilled.
The Van Hoffs were scared of her and fled with the Doctor.
"That's the British for you..." said the Doctor.
Oscar frowned as he sipped tea from a flowery cup and saucer.
"Yes I am British, Ello Guv! Oi! Watch me noggin!" Oscar exaggerated his accent...
...
Izac was cross with Bender again.
"You Penniless Chump!"
"Who you callin' Chump? Chimp!" said Eddie Valiant.
A cartoon gorilla, possibly containing the soul of Jack Nicholson hooted angrily at Eddie.
Elsewhere the Planet Express Crew play Limbo.
"Go Professor go!" said the crew as he goes under the limbo bar.
"Lean more!" said Amy.
"Oh! My back!" The Professor groaned.
"Oh heavens this is bad Mon! At least you lot didn't make a wager with two rotten kids!" said Grim.
"I LIKE PIE!" Billy cheered.
Hermes winced.
"Hermes you're a champion Limbo player! Why don't you show these clowns how to Limbo!" La Barbara said to her Husband.
"Because my Sweetness, This is were I divulge my history of being a Limbo olympian and the day I swore never to limbo again!" said Hermes about to tell his life story.
Fry groaned bored.
"It was because of one awful tragedy! One horrific moment, Mon!"
At the 30th century olympics.
"Now limbo-ing for the Earth team, Hermes Conrad." said the announcer. The teams are now done by Planets instead of countries...
Hermes arrived on the track.
"You're my hero, Hermes! I'm gonna be just like you!" said a boy voiced by Tress McNeille.
He wants to limbo.
"No, boy, stop! It's too low! Your backbone can't take it!" Hermes warned the little boy.
"I'm just like Hermes! I'm just like Hermes! I'm just like- " said the boy bending his back.
We hear bones snap. The boy groaned and collapsed.
"Nooooooooooo!" Hermes cried.
In the present Hermes wept for the poor boy.
Oscar laughed.
"Oz that is not funny..." said Amy.
...
Meanwhile Bender is on a um starboard facing deck with the Countess.
"So there you have it. I'm just a fraud, a stupid, sexy fraud." Bender sighed.
"Stupid sexy Flanders..." Homer muttered.
"This bowtie isn't even real. It's magnetic..." said Bender. "Wait magnetic?!"
The magnet scrambles his programming. "Aww... hell no!"
Bender starts singing Camp town races. "Oooooooh... the camp town ladies sing this song! Doo dah! Doo dah! The camp town race's five miles long! Doo dah doo dah daaaaaaay!"
The Countess giggled. "Oh Bender, I love you for your unapologetic, in your face attitude... and your constant malfunctioning when you come in contact with magnets..."
They fall in love. Bender takes one look at the Countess and they snog...
They then reference several scenes from Titanic. Particularly the Jack sketching a picture of Rose naked and Jack lifting her into the air on the bow.
"Yoooooooouuuu're heeeeeeereeeeee! Thereeeeeeee's Nothing I Feeeeeeeeeeaaaaar!" Oscar sang off key.
The Countess was too heavy to be lifted and broke off Bender's arms. The floor also collapsed under her.
Meanwhile back at the deck where the crew are playing limbo. Other characters arrive, ie Kif.
"Kif! Get back to work!" Zapp was astonished to see him playing Limbo with the passengers.
"Robot space pirates..." said Oscar.
Zapp screamed like a little girl and fled.
Oscar smirked.
Amy's parents bother her again.
"Actually Mom, Dad. I haven't been honest." Her parents frown. "Fry is not my fiancé."
Everyone gasps, including Zoidberg.
"Kif is my fiancé!" said Amy taking his hand.
"Good heavens?! Certainly not!" said Kif.
"I've always found you cute!" Amy whined being clingy to Kif.
Kif sighed.
"I found romance too!" said Professor Farnsworth. Hattie the Landlady with the wall-eyed look was holding his arm.
"You're dating my old Landlady?!" Fry gasped.
"Fry! You still have outstanding rent!" Hattie nagged him.
Fry groaned.
...
The tea lounge. Hyacinth Bucket, sorry Bouquet... was holding everyone hostage to have high tea...
Everyone except Oscar Tamaki was uncomfortable and frightened by the shrill-voiced and overly friendly woman.
Oscar delighted by sophisticated tea and cakes sipped his tea from his cup.
"Oh hell naw! The Limey is at it again..." Bart groaned.
"Shut up!" Oscar snapped at him. He sipped his tea.
Bart ate a Butterfinger bar.
"I dislike all you Iraq invading imbeciles!" Oscar yelled at Bart.
"Well.. We Americans own your ass..." said Bart.
"My ass is firmly attached to my body, whatnot. Do dispense with such silly notions Bartholomew..." said Oscar sipping his tea.
"Again with your dry, British wit! You tea sipping homo!" Bart groaned.
Oscar throttled Bart.
Back at Limbo.
"Regardless of how this game went, I am the captain and I declare Leela the winner!" said Zapp.
Everyone jeered.
"But I didn't even play!" said Leela.
"No matter. I know from personal experience how horizontal you can get. " said Zapp.
Oscar laughed.
"Oh no he didn't!" Bender said in a sassy manner and snapped his metal fingers.
Leela went off in a huff.
"You and your hideous friends are invited to the captain's table my sweet, luscious Leela!" said Zapp.
Oscar was conflicted. Dining at the captain's table seemed nice but Zapp did just insult him.
The buffet lounge. The sign read: "All you can eat, and one whole chicken each."
Oscar laughed.
Leela sighed at him.
At the Captain's table. Zapp toasts Leela and Fry.
"To Leela and Fry!"
Also why in the name of sanity do they have empty plates at a buffet dinner?!
"As a gentleman, I must warn you. If you so much as glance at another woman, I'll be all over Leela like a fly on a pile of very seductive manure." said Zapp.
Oscar laughed hysterically. "Manure..."
Leela sighed exasperated.
...
Meanwhile we hop back to the characters of Titanic in the gay old year of 1912 AD.
Oscar and Sora are still fighting the Heartless.
Oscar hurls his Keyblade with the Strike Raid ability.
"SUBMIT!" Caledon yelled.
Bart groaned. "This story is unsalvageable..."
Also the psychotic bitch from Misery was there.
"Sir, the woman who ate all the pies is here..." said a steward to his superior.
Oscar gawked at the steward who said that.
"SUPREME DARKNESS!" Caledon yelled.
Sora winced. "You have an obsession with the word darkness or something?!"
"The Darkness are a great band though..." said Oscar.
Sora grimaced annoyed at him.
Back to the buffet in the year 3000.
Fry and Leela were able to comfortably continue their sham relationship to get Zapp to leave Leela alone. Because Amy was dating Kiff even though he insisted he was not interested in her.
"Give us grandchildren now!" Amy's mom nagged.
"Why you not doctor?!" Amy's dad yelled.
"I'm a doctor." said Zoidberg.
"Oh that's super! You should date Lobster Man!" said Amy's mom.
Amy sighed. "I love Kif..."