Fry & The Slurm Factory. The Planet Express crew go to the Slurm factory and shamelessly reference Charlie and the Chocolate Factory...
Plot
Planet Express HQ lounge, late at night. Fry and Bender are up all night watching All My Circuits. Bender is drinking beer, Fry is drinking a soft drink that comes in cans called Slurm.
The table is a mess with food and empty Slurm cans.
On the weird soap opera...
"Honey unit, I'm home." Calculon comes home from work.
"Mmmmm... honey..." Teddy, Oscar's weird living teddy bear creature remarked feeling hungry. He likes to eat honey.
Bender hushed him.
Calculon gasps discovering his wife Monique has cheated on him again. With his evil half brother. "Monique!"
Monique is in bed with Boxy, that beeping box robot. "Calculon?!"
Boxy beeps.
"Oh, how I wish I could believe that. You may be my evil half-brother, but there's no law against murdering the other half." Calculon snarled. Uh there is a law against murder...
The show cuts to commercials. "All My Circuits will be right back after these commercials..."
Fry groaned.
"The crisp, sweet taste you can only get from a can of Slurm!" There was an advertisement for Slurm. A drink Fry was drinking. "Slurm! It's highly addictive!"
Fry shrugs and drinks his soda.
On the commercial a slug-like alien wearing sunglasses and a Hawaiian shirt is dancing.
"Look! It's Slurms MacKenzie!" said a lady in a bikini.
"He's the original party worm!" said another lady.
The ladies are called Trixie and Dixie... Dumb names...
Slurms MacKenzie surfs onto the beach near them. The women stroke him and giggle.
"Whimmy-wham-wham-wazzle! Let's party!" said Slurms.
They all party and drink Slurm...
"Look at that worm go. Who says there are no more heroes?" asked Bender sipping his beer.
"Uh... That Nintendo Wii game, No More Heroes..." said Teddy. Zing!
Bender frowned at him.
Slurms has something to say.
"Hey, dudes, you can win a chance to party with me, Slurms MacKenzie, at the Slurm bottling plant on planet Wormulon!" said Slurms MacKenzie.
"Just look for the winning bottle-cap inside specially-marked cans of Slurm." said the announcer.
Trixie finds a winning bottle cap. "I won!"
"Uh... why would cabs of drink have bottle caps as the McGuffin you need to look for to win?! Why not a golden ring pull?!" Teddy ranted.
Bender sighed.
Then there was a funny disclaimer, just as Oscar came in. He was wearing his pyjamas and was supposed have gone to bed hours ago.
"Slurm has been found to have caused cancer in laboratory humans."
Teddy and Oscar gasped alarmed. Fry was drinking his can of Slurm still.
"Uh Fry..." Teddy tugged at his sleeve.
"Get your own can of Slurm, fuzzball..." said Fry.
Teddy rolled his eyes.
"Employees of Slurm Corp are ineligible to enter. Sorry Trixie." said the disclaimer.
"The following species are also ineligible. Space Wasps. Space Beavers and any other space creatures, including space chickens."
Teddy winced exasperated.
Oscar laughed. "Space chicken..."
"No purchase necessary unless you wish to enter the contest. Odds of winning mathematically insignificant." said the last disclaimer.
"I like those odds." said Fry. He tossed the empty can, it knocked over the others.
We cut to the opening credits.
...
The opening credits. The title gag is: "Live from Omicron Persei 8." Lrrr's planet.
"Oh my god! Corona virus planet!" Oscar yelled.
"Silence!" Lrrr yelled.
The retro cartoon is The Simpsons Tracey Ulman Short Changing Faces.
"Coooool! The Simpsons!" said Oscar. The ship crashes.
...
Planet Express HQ main briefing table. Fry is guzzling a can of Slurm. He checks it. He has lost again. "Aw nuts..."
"I gotta find that golden bottle-cap." said Fry.
Leela arrives.
"I've never seen anyone so addicted to Slurm."
"This is nothing. Back in high school I used to drink a hundred cans of cola a week. Right up until my third heart attack." said Fry.
"Uh how have you not died yet...?" Oscar winced.
Bender stumbles in. He groans and he's an odd red colour.
"Bender, what's wrong?" Fry asked.
"I'm sick." said Bender unwell.
"Bender don't be ridiculous... You're a machine, machines don't get sick..." said Leela.
"Machines can still get a computer virus... Cyclops..." said Bender.
Leela sighed. "You better see the Professor for a virus scan then..."
Bender moans and goes off to the Professor.
"Leela you should talk nicer to him..." Fry frowned.
"He's a thief! He stole from my purse again!" said Leela.
"The script says you talk sweetly to the crass robot because he is sick..." said the director.
"Uh no..." said Oscar.
Farnsworth's lab. Amy touches the red hot bending unit. "Ow!" She burnt her hand.
Oscar laughed.
"Does the suffering of others amuse you now?" Teddy sighed.
The Professor wears oven gloves to open Benders door etc.
"According to Bender's temperature gauge, which I suggest you use next time, Amy...he's running a fever of ... 900 degrees." said Farnsworth.
Oscar sang Hot Blooded by The Foreigner while playing his electric guitar.
Fry groaned and face palmed.
"Here we go again..." Teddy sighed.
"Hey Professor, put another zero on that 900 reading. Or a 1..." said Oscar.
"Uh why?" Farnsworth asked baffled.
"So his fever would be OVER 9000!" Oscar yelled.
Teddy face palmed.
"I'll find something to distract him..." said Amy ushering Oscar out of the lab.
"Any way..." said Farnsworth.
The lounge. Hermes wearing oven gloves guides Bender into the lounge.
"Lay on the couch mon." Bender does, The couch ignites and burns to ashes. "You're paying for that..." said Hermes.
Bender groaned.
In the main conference room Fry is watching over Oscar because the latter was annoying everyone with needless remarks. Fry was drinking Slurm.
Oscar was flying a marshmallow about like a plane. and making noises with his lips.
"Oz..." Fry got no response. "Oz!"
"You make marshmallow angry!" Oscar yelled.
Fry winced and sweated irked by Oscar's behaviour.
Fry finished his Slurm. Some rattled about inside it. He gasped. A tooth fell out the can. "Oh rats... it's just a tooth..."
"Uh Fry... you're glowing..." said Oscar. Fry was glowing green.
Zoidberg was examining Bender with a stethoscope.
Oscar face palmed, "I'm hiring a debugger. Hehehe... Debugger..."
Fry shrugged.
Sometime later a computer nerd wa at the door. Oscar lets him in. The debugger examines Bender.
"Yeah your bending unit is corrupted by a computer virus." said the debugger.
"Also he keeps acting like he has a personality..." said Oscar.
...
Later Bender has fully recovered.
"But the opening scene was pretext to call you to my lab to show off my latest invention!" said Professor Farnsworth.
"Pretext my foot! Robots can't get sick! They can't get a fever! They can be corrupted by computer viruses though..." said Oscar.
Farnsworth sighed.
Elsewhere across New New York... In the slums Tinny Tim, a poor robot orphan on crutches despaired as he could not afford Slurm and therefore had no chance of winning a golden bottle cap.
Tinny Tim sighed. He couldn't even afford the basic alcohol to fuel his batteries.
Across the city four badly behaved kids each won a golden bottle cap.
"I like grapes!" said a mad old crone in a rocking chair.
We pop in to see our first badly behaved kid, a gluttonous, fat little German boy who is always eating.
"In the future, fat kids are processed into Soylent Green." said Farnsworh.
Oscar laughed. "Coooooool!"
Teddy sighed.
The fat German Kid um... Hans... had gobbled up his third plate of sauerkraut, wursts and potatoes.
His equally fat mother and father ate too.
Back at Planet Express HQ. The Professor shows off his newest invention.
"I call this the F-ray. It's like an X-ray only it allows you to see through anything, even metal." said Farnsworth holding a ray gun device.
"What about a Z Ray?" Oscar asked.
"There's no such thing..." said Farnsworth adjusting his glasses.
"According to that dodgy back alley surgeon guy in Little Neptune there is..." said Oscar.
Farnsworth face palmed.
"Little Meatbag, shut up." said Bender.
Oscar glared at him.
"Now, the neutrino beam it emits is a tad dangerous, so you'll all need protective goggles." said Farnsworth.
Everyone puts on protective goggles. Any gasps and frowns as Farnsworth puts on a full decontamination suit.
"Now this will sting everyone..." said the Professor. He turned the device on. It produced a green cone that showed what was inside Bender. The crew gasped. He had swallowed a wrist watch.
"Looks like a wrist watch..." said Fry.
"That's my wrist watch!" Amy yelled.
"Oooooooh! Oh how did that get there?" Bender chuckled sheepishly.
Amy glared at him and took back her watch when he handed it to her by his door.
"Now Someone needs to look after this F Ray so it doesn't fall into the wrong hands..." said Professor Farnsworth.
"Ie My hands... Gahahahaha!" Oscar laughed.
Farnsworth gives the device to Fry and Bender to look after.
"Or those two doofuses..." Oscar winced.
"Now I need Fry, Bender, Leela and Oscar to make a delivery to the Space Wasp hive..." said Farnsworth.
Everyone fled immediately. The old elderly scientist sighed.
On the streets of New New York. Fry and Bender chuckle as they decide to play with the F Ray...
"What should we point it at first?" Bender asked.
"I dunno, try me." said Fry.
Bender zaps Fry's crotch with a cone of green light that shows his bones.
"Ow! My sperm!" Fry yelled.
Bender chuckled.
"Try me again." said Fry. Bender zaps his crotch again. "Huh? Didn't hurt that time..."
Bender sees a fat robot hooker walk past. "Whoa, mama! Hold still, sexy lady."
He zaps her and gasps.
"What's wrong?" Fry asked.
"That's no lady!" said Bender. They were a Manbot in disguise...
"Oh god! She's a He-She!" Oscar screamed in horror.
"Damn Chico! One more upgrade and I'll be more lady than you can handle! Why you so stupid, stupid?" said the hooker bot.
"Bite my shiny metal ass!" Bender yelled.
"You couldn't afford it honey..." said the hooker robot snapping her fingers.
...
The conference room.
"Professor, do you think it is wise to trust Bender and Fry with that F Ray..." Leela asked.
"Oh yes..." said the Professor.
Fry and Bender went about scanning people. Bender scanned Sal the trucker with the F Ray.
"Ow..." said Sal receiving a massive dose of radiation.
Plot 2
Professor Farnsworth's laboratory. Oscar and Teddy look around the lab.
"Remember, don't touch anything..." said Oscar to Teddy, his living teddy bear thing.
"Says mister Touch everything..." Teddy frowned.
Oscar sighed.
Teddy touched a beaker of green liquid. It tumbled off of the work bench and broke.
"Gee, I hope this wasn't anything important." Teddy gulped.
"It looks like an incredibly virulent form of the plague." said Oscar.
Teddy licks up the green liquid. "But it tastes like butter!"
Oscar gawked freaked out at him.
"What?" Teddy asked.
"Uh nothing... Lets just blame Zoidberg." said Oscar.
They headed back to the conference room with the table. Teddy, the living teddy bear's tummy rumbled.
"That's the fifteenth time your tummy has rumbled Teddy..." said Oscar.
"It means find me some yummy food, like honey..." said Teddy.
Oscar sighed.
A Stinky Stork's diaper delivery truck parked outside.
"Ugh! Do they have to park out the front..." Oscar groaned embarrassed.
Leela sighed as she answered the door and signed for the delivery of diapers for Nibbler and Oscar.
Teddy smirked.
"I don't know why you're grinning, you have to change me..." said Oscar.
Meanwhile in town. Fry and Bender were still playing with the F Ray.
They stop outside a convenience store with a nearby Suicide Booth. There is a line of people waiting to use it.
"All this prolonged exposure to radiation is making me thirsty." said Fry.
"We're like two peas in a pod Fry. You're addicted to Slurm, I have a thing for Jacking on." said Bender.
Fry frowned at him. "You're not supposed to be doing that!"
Bender sulked.
...
At a section of the store promoting Slurm, Slugs from the planet Wormulon are singing.
"The Slurm factory can! Oh yeah the Slurm factory can!"
"This reminds me of that movie about the chocolate factory." said Fry.
"Shut up Fry..." said Bender, he was scanning things with the F Ray.
Soon they were at the front of the line.
"Watch where you point that thing..." the till worker whined as Bender zapped things to see inside them.
"I'll take this six pack of slurm cans." said Fry paying for his goods.
"Yeah whatever..." said the till worker.
Bender was scanning jars of hotdogs with the F Ray.
"Hey Bender. Why don't we scan all the Slurm cans till we find a winning can with a bottle cap inside?" Fry asked.
"Sure why not. Nothing in the disclaimer that says we can't win a golden bottle cap dishonestly..." said Bender.
"Breaking news!" said Morbo on the TV. "There are too many fat people in Wisconsin! They should be all vaporised!"
Linda giggled.
Fry winced.
At HQ. Oscar was in the playpen with Teddy and Nibbler. Oscar was wearing only a diaper and Teddy was sniffing his diaper.
Fry and Bender arrived.
"Guess who won a golden bottle cap!" said Bender. Fry showed off his golden bottle cap.
"Ah! A trip to the Slurm factory! How exciting." said Professor Farnsworth.
"Just as long as you don't put your back out while singing about having a golden bottle cap like that old geezer in that Gene Wilder flick..." said Bender.
"Oh I've got a golden bottle cap..." Farnsworth sang as he started dancing.
"Professor no!" Everyone yelled.
"You have to take it easy in your old age!" said Fry.
"Preposterous!" said Farnsworth.
"Don't make us sedate you old timer!" Bender yelled.
Oscar laughed.
...
They fly to the Planet Wormulon. Where the Slurm factory is.
Along the way Oscar kept going on about the British TV show Keeping Up Appearances...
"Gahahahaha! Extra cream..." Oscar chuckled. Everyone on the ship groaned.
They park and walk up to the gates of the Slurm factory. It looks exactly like Wonka's chocolate factory...
Fry winced.
All the winners are there waiting for the tour to begin. A fat German boy and his parents, he is eating, a lot...
There was also a girl wearing blue, she was chewing gum. "She's been chewing for hours..." said a kid wearing a Hypnotoad shirt.
Then there was a girl wearing very expensive clothes and a fur coat. "But Daddy! I want to go in now!" She screeched at her father.
Daddy sighed.
Finally there was a boy dressed as a cowboy. He was carrying lots of toy guns.
"Okay..." said Fry.
Then the gates opened. A slug alien wearing a purple top hat and a jacket arrived.
Everyone gasped. "It's him!"
"So Fry, how many cans dis you scan to get your bottle cap..." Leela eventually twigged Fry was misusing the F Ray to cheat.
"About 90,000 cans said Fry.
"IT'S OVER 9000!" Oscar yelled.
Bender face palmed.
"Ooooooh look at that!" said Amy.
"Wow..." said Fry.
The Willy Wonka slug or Glurmo was flanked by four guards.
"Welcome to the planet Wormulon. I'm Glurmo, your golly-rific guide to the splend-tacular Slurm factory." said Glurmo.
"Golliwog..." Oscar rasped, being offensive. Teddy elbowed him and frowned.
"Uh-huh. Can we have our free Slurm now?" Fry asked.
"You'll have all the Slurm you can drink later on when you're partying with my good friend, Slurms MacKenzie." said Glurmo holding a pimp staff.
...
Glurmo slithered aside. Slurms McKenzie was there with his entourage of babes...
Bender wolf whistled.
"Alright! Whimmy-wham-wham-wazzle! Lay some skin on me, dudes." said Slurms McKenzie.
Fry, Bender and Oscar give him double high fives. They get slime on their hands from Slurms McKenzie.
"Eeeeeeeew..." Oscar groaned with slime on his hands.
Fry wiped his slimy hands down the front of his clothes.
"Wow! The original party worm! Are you ready to get down and funky with us?" Bender asked.
"He'd better be, that's what we pay him for. Right, Slurms?" Glurmo gave Slurms a hard look.
Slurms sighed and danced half heartedly. "Groovy..."
Oscar gave an uncomfortable shrug as if he knew Slurms felt fed up with the dancing.
"In fact, Slurms has to party all night, every night, or he's fired!" said Glurmo glaring at Slurms.
"Rock on..." Slurms groaned as he danced.
Oscar and Teddy frowned at Glurmo.
"But before the party, you're all in for a fun-derful treat: A VIP tour of the Slurm factory!" said Glurmo.
"Neato!" said Fry.
"Follow me my lucky guests!" said Glurmo in a cheerful tone.
They follow the slug who leaves behind a slippery trail of slime...
"Whaaaa! Oof!" Amy slipped in the slime and fell over.
Oscar laughed.
Teddy shook his head at him.
"Enjoy the tour!" said Slurms. "I need to lie down..." He groaned exhausted.
In the foyer. Glurmo delt with the antics of the four badly behaved kids on the tour...
"Slurm ist wünderbar!" said the greedy fat German kid who was eating chocolate.
"Uh yeah..." said Glurmo.
The gum chewing girl bored Glurmo by going on about how she chewed a piece of gum for ages.
"I really did not want to hear your life story, kid..." said Glurmo.
...
They then hung up their coats etc.
The cowboy kid's mother screamed because a golden hand on the wall acting as a cloakroom hook grabbed a hat from someone.
Oscar yelped freaked out.
"Don't be alarmed." said Glurmo.
They then had to sign a giant contract with a quill. Basically don't try the fizzy lifting drinks etc.
"Can all the children please step forward." said Glurmo.
Oscar and the other kids gather up in front of the contract.
"Don't touch me!" the cowboy kid whined.
"Kallae kistnaeeeee..." Oscar rasped.
"Oz buddy... don't freak people out..." Teddy sighed.
The cowboy kid frowned at Oscar irked by him.
Glurmo explained the contract.
"What is that gobbledegook?" Bender asked.
"It's latin... tin head..." said Oscar picking out a quill.
"I can't read what is written at the bottom..." the cowboy kid whined.
"That means you need glasses..." said Oscar.
"Don't talk to me..." said the cowboy kid.
Then the parents were concerned about the contract.
"I don't want my darling signing that!"
"Then she can't go on the tour..." said Glurmo.
Then the spoilt girl screamed at her dad to let her sign the contract.
Oscar frowned.
"She needs a good kick up the tuchus..." said Teddy.
Oscar tickled Teddy's nose with the quill.
"Oy vey..." Teddy sighed.
"Contracts are for suckers..." said one of the dads.
"Chicks dig-" said Oscar.
"Oz no!" Leela told him off.
Oscar sighed.
...
They then are guided into a tiny room. They feel uncomfortable.
"Ah! Let us out!" The cowboy kid whined.
"I can't breath!" Someone whined.
Oscar farted. He chuckled.
"Ugh! Aho cut one?!" A kid whined.
"Oz..." Teddy sighed.
Oscar laughed.
"Let me out or I'll scream!" the spoilt girl yelled.
They were let out tge way they came in.
"But we just entered through that door..." said the cowboy kid.
"You sure?" Glurmo asked.
"Yes..." said everyone.
Glurmo opens the door. The room outside is a different room. The tiny room had moved across the factory.
"Okay that's just weird..." said the cowboy kid.
"Not really... That room was probably an elevator..." said Oscar.
They are all in a corridor.
"This way people!" said Glurmo slithering along.
The corridor gets smaller and smaller.
"Ah! My head is bumping the ceiling!" A mom whined.
They come to a tiny little door.
Glurmo opens it.
"Hi! This is the Slurm garden! Come in! Braaaaaap!" said Barney Gumble behind the tiny door.
Oscar gawked freaked out.
Glurmo shuts the tiny door. "Ow!" said Barney from behind it.
The wall slides open to reveal a large beautiful garden with Slurm products everywhere.
Pure Imagination plays.
Everyone is entranced by the room.
Plot 3
Planet Express look about the gardens.
"Woooooow!" said Fry.
"Oh, my!" said the Professor.
"Look! Flowers! And a boat!" said Bender.
There's a boat, for the scary tunnel scene...
They see creatures resembling Oompa Loompas from the Gene Wilder movie...
The Orange creatures with green hair wave at them. They are pouring stuff into the Slurm river.
"Who are those horrible orange creatures over there?" Farnsworth asked rudely.
Oscar scowled at him.
"Why, those are the Grunka Lunkas. They work here in the Slurm factory." said Glurmo.
"Tell them I hate them." said Farnsworth.
"Can you not be racist..." Oscar seethed.
Bender laughed.
They explore the garden. A kid picks a can of Slurm from a tree, pops it open and drinks the fizzy drink.
Fry tried on Slurm baseball hats.
"I hate those vile Grunka Lunkas..." said the Professor.
"You're being offensive now clam it!" Oscar snapped.
Leela sighed.
"I wonder what makes Slurm taste so great..." Fry pondered.
Bender shrugged.
Glurmo glared with narrow eyes, He didn't like curious guests.
"What do you think of the Grunka Lunkas, Oz?" Teddy asked.
"They are Donald Trump's children..." said Oscar squinting.
Teddy groaned. "Fine... Democrat... You got any real criticism of the forty fifth president?"
"That is real criticism! An Oompa Loompa can't be president!" Oscar ranted.
Teddy sighed flustered.
Kids were play fighting and rolling in the grass.
...
"Everyone pipe down and gather up in front of me." said Glurmo. The tour group gathers up. "We are going on a boat ride.
"I can't swim..." said Oscar.
Bender laughed.
Oscar glared at him.
Suddenly...
"No child! My Slurm must not be touched by human hands!" said Glurmo alarmed. Tge fat German kid was at the river bank scooping up the Slurm and drinking it.
"Oh no Augustus! You'll give everyone your nasty cold!" said the German boy's mother.
"Eeeeeew..." Oscar groaned.
"Please stop!" said Glurmo warning the boy.
The boy fell in. Everyone screamed.
"Hilfe!" The boy cried.
"I give him a two for entry." said Bender scoring his dive.
"Someone should save him." said Fry.
"Nah..." said Bender drinking beer.
"Oh meine gott! Save my boy! He can't swim!" the mother cried.
"Then why did he fall in then..." Bender berated her.
"Hilfe!" The boy cried.
"The current has got him!" said Leela.
"Mmmm... currants..." said Oscar.
"She said current, Bonehead..." said Teddy rudely.
Augustus was pulled under.
"My boy!" the mother cried.
"Look!" said Oscar.
The German kid was sucked up a pipe.
He cried but his cries were muffled. He got stuck briefly.
"He appears to be stuck..." said Teddy.
Bender laughed.
Then pressure built up and the boy shot off somewhere.
...
"Where did he go?!" The mother cry.
"Why to the fudge making room." said Glurmo.
"Where they pack him with so much fudge..." said Oscar.
"Oz..." Teddy frowned at him.
Glurmo played a fluit. Grunka Lunkas arrived.
"Take Mrs Gloop to the fudge room, and hurry!" said Glurmo.
The Grunka Lunka's leave with Mrs Gloop.
"Onto the boat everyone! Before we lose anymore guests!"
A time skip later. They are all on the boat.
"As we sail down the river of Slurm you'll see our mix-ologists at work." said Glurmo.
There are Grunka Lunkas hard at work mixing an orange and yellow substance in a cauldron.
"They take 900 of the finest ingredients, add a touch of child-like delight and-" said Glurmo.
"Oh god! Slurm is made of children!" Oscar screamed.
Glurmo face palmed. "It's not made of children..."
He continues what he was saying.
"They take 900 of the finest ingredients, add a touch of child-like delight and mix it with glacial spring water." said Glurmo.
Water pours into the green river.
"Then, last of all, we add the secret ingredient that makes Slurm so deliciously addictive." said Glurmo smiling.
"It's the blood of children!" Oscar yelled.
The Planet Express crew face palm and groan.
"Can you please tell your kid shut up..." Glurmo groaned.
Grunka Lunkas being sneaky are taking a barrel labelled Secret Ingredient off somewhere.
"So, what's the secret ingredient?" Fry asked.
"It's whatever your imagination wants it to be." Glurmo replied, being secretive.
"It's the blood of children!" Oscar screamed.
"It's not that..." Glurmo sighed.
Teddy face palmed.
...
The boat ride continues...
"Oh. But what is it really?" Fry asks about the secret ingredient.
"That's not for you to know" Glurmo said in a stern manner as if he was keeping a horrible secret.
"It's the blood of children, isn't it..." said Oscar squinting with an air of suspicion.
"No!" Glurmo screamed frustrated.
"Oz enough now..." Leela sighed.
Oscar chuckled.
"Now, over here the Grunka Lunkas are inducing Wumpus berries to release their flavour, using sensual massage." said Glurmo. Grunka Lunka's are rubbing piles of purple berries.
"That's um really turning me on..." Oscar felt aroused.
"Oz seriously.,." Fry hissed.
"Psst, those berries. Those are the secret ingredient, right?" Bender asked.
"No." Glurmo said sternly.
"You sure?" Bender asked.
"Yes..." said Glurmo.
"You positive?" Fry asked.
"I'm HIV positive..." said Oscar. Yes seethe in rage Hank that I'm writing that my OC is a venereal disease ridden perv...
"How?!" Fry yelled.
Oscar chuckled.
"The berries are not the secret ingredient..." said a Glurmo getting annoyed.
"Of course not... It's children's blood..." said Oscar being morbid.
"I'm just asking cause they look kind of secret." said Bender.
"Enough! There will be no further questions." Glurmo said sharply.
Fry put up his hand. "Why?"
Glurmo screamed annoyed and flustered.
Oscar cracked up laughing.
"Can you boys just stop badgering him..." Leela sighed.
...
Then the Grunka Lunkas play drums.
"Hey, look! The disgusting little men are starting to sing." said Leela.
"Okay seriously! Enough! You're supposed to be setting me an example yet you keep being racist about the Grunka Lunkas! What have they ever done to you?!" Oscar ranted.
Leela sat quietly and sighed.
The Grunka Lunkas line up in formation and sing.
"Grunka Lunka dunkity-do,
We've got a friendly warning for you,
Grunka Lunka dunkity-dasis,
The secret of Slurm's on a need-to-know basis."
"Asking questions in school is a great way to learn."
"f you try that stuff here you might get your legs broke."
Oscar gulped unnerved.
"We once found a dead guy face down in the Slurm."
"t could easily happen again to you folks."
"So keep you head down,
And keep your mouth shut,
Grunka Lunka lunka dunkity dot!"
"Gahahahaha!" Oscar laughed.
"Oz why are you laughing..." Leela sighed.
Glurmo leans out of the boat and waves his pimp cane about. "Hey, I don't pay you to sing! You just used up today's bathroom break!"
"We're in a union..." said the Grunka Lunkas.
"No you're not... get back to work!" Glurmo snapped.
"Hard ass..." said a Grunka Lunka muttering.
"I heard that!" Glurmo yelled.
They sail along passing more things and odd characters along the way.
"Daddy, I want a Grunka Lunka!" The spoilt rich girl named after a mild skin infection.
Her dad sighed.
"That girl has been whining about wanting things all day..." said Oscar.
"Yeah, I'm living in abject poverty and I don't constantly demand things..." said Tinny Tim.
...
The boat trip continues. They enter the tunnel, possibly the acid trip tunnel with the scary images on the walls...
"Now, on your right, you'll see the Slurm Master checking the Slurm for colour and bouquet." said Glurmo. Everyone looks to their right, or starboard.
An elderly slug thing or Slurm worm holds a goblet, dips it into the Slurm and examines the now full goblet.
Fry dribbles feeling thirsty. "So thirsty..."
"Then he tastes it. He tastes it and tastes it, then tastes it some more." said Glurmo. The elderly worm is sipping the goblet of Slurm.
"Oooooh... my tongue is so dry..." Fry groaned.
"Then he tastes it. He tastes it and tastes it, then tastes it some more." Glurmo continues. The elderly worm slug thing tastes the Slurm and swills the goblet about like it is full of wine.
"WILL YOU GET TO THE POINT ALREADY?!" Oscar yelled.
Leela hushed him.
"Uh, could I have some Slurm, please?" Fry asked.
"No food or drink allowed on the tour. You'll have to wait until you're partying with Slurms MacKenzie." said Glurmo.
"When will that be?" Fry asked.
"Soon enough..." said Glurmo.
"That's not soon enough..." Fry whined.
Glurmo face palmed.
They pass a door guarded by slugs. It is labelled "Keep out."
"Hey, what's behind that door?" asked Leela.
"Nothing..." said Glurmo.
"Oh. When you mean nothing, do you mean there's just the wall behind it? Or that the door leads to an infinite black void..." Oscar asked.
Glurmo face palmed. "There's just a wall behind it..."
Leela frowned. Now she wanted to know about the secret ingredient.
"I bet the Dud is behind that door..." said Homer Simpson.
Bart face palmed.
"I bet that's where you butcher innocent children and collect their blood!" Oscar yelled.
"Seriously! Enough! Glurmo yelled.