"Drat of the highest order!" Dick Dastardly exclaimed as he saw the other gaining on him while they were drifting around the volcanic race course that had its many rocky formations sinking into the burning lava with balls of fire bouncing around them. "Those stupid excuses of racers are getting too dastardly close for my liking!"
Muttley chuckled and chucked several bombs behind, causing the scorched road to explode as the other pairs of racers went high into the sky, with all of them racing at the Grumble Volcano and then landed on the molten hardened road.
"Oof!" Dry Bowser shouted since he broke into several pieces, with Petey Piranha taking over. "Korttork, that hurt."
"No need to fear!" Petey Piranha stated because he then summoned vines to grab Toadette and Aria Meloetta, pulling them back and ramming into their vehicle. "Petey is here!"
"I believe every word that man just said." Meloetta admitted while she sucked up an entire carton of vanilla icing, then chucking it at Petey, causing him to spin out of control and fall into the red molten magma. "...Because it's exactly what I wanted to hear."
"Ooh, really?" Toadette remarked for she turned her head to Meloetta, only to be gassed by a flatulent Tiny Kong. "Oh eww!"
Tiny Kong laughed; slapping her farting big butt, pooting more deep pitched toots. "Ha, you like it, girls? My name might be-"
"All right, we get it!" Amy Rose growled while hotly sweating from the intense heat of the volcano. "You don't have to go into more details about your sex life!"
"Aren't we the adventurous one?" Dick Dastardly remarked as he attempted to drill into the girls' car, but Amy dashed onto the Mean Machine and slammed her Piko Piko Hammer down on Dastardly, flattening the dick with relative ease as she jumped back to her own car. "Drat, double drat, and triple drat!"
Muttley chuckled as Dick Dastardly slammed his right fist down on the dog, making him growl angrily that caused him to attack his wicked human partner, the group collectively exited the main Grumble Volcano itself, trying to avoid the lava sprouts and fireballs bouncing about, the green warp pipes and dead purple trees exploding from all the explosives being chucked around.
"Chill, guys, I got this!" Rayquaza stated as he bellowed loudly, summoning a thunderstorm as he used rain dance, with it getting much cooler as the rain began pouring down, thunder booming. "Never doubt the power of Fug!"
"All you needed to do was drive while I used hail," Arceus suggested as they swerved around the race course.
"Yeah, but being a flying dragon, I hate ice." Rayquaza pointed out as he sipped some tea.
"...Good point." Arceus responded as he nodded his head, understanding where Rayquaza was coming from as the legendary Pokemon were making a steady come back, having formerly been in last place.
"Man, we barely got anything to say!" Chrom complained, munching away on his chrome enhancing fish sticks. "What BS is this!?"
"Just focus on throwing off the others!" Silver exclaimed, using his psychic to move the lava rocks away from him and Chrom.
"Maybe we should use some of the fruit I gathered from my village!" Isabelle exclaimed as she glanced back to see her dog tail on fire, yelping in pain as she tried to get it off.
"Don't worry, I know what to do!" Lady Palutena exclaimed, spinning her staff around, causing Isabelle to be lit ablaze which in turn caught onto the goddess herself, with her screaming and letting out an explosive flame that caused the entire car to catch on fire.
"Should we help them?" R.O.B. suggested to E-123 Omega at the moment that the robots drove around the lava spouts emerging from the molten ground.
"Here's the help they'll need," Omega responded by blasting Palutena and Isabelle with missiles, which caused a huge fiery explosion that engulfed all of the racers, burning them to a crisp.
"...Well this stinks." Arceus admitted for she used its godly power to restore everyone, with them heading into a portal that directed all of them into the equally fiery and red colored Brinstar Depths were Kraid attacked them.
"Get out of my lair!" Kraid roared while slashing the rotating platform that caused debris to fall towards the racers.
"Ooh I'm liking the way this is going!" Penelope Pitstop suddenly proclaimed while zipping next to the racers in her fancy Compact Pussycat, making herself look pretty as usual. "Pardon me but I just had to join in the fun!"
"When did you get here?" Dastardly asked for he wasn't exactly welcoming in a certain racer he remembered while they were dodging Kraid's giant claws.
"The author felt this story needed more wacky racers; I happily obliged of course!" Penelope explained for she felt her stomach grumble. "Oh excuse me, I haven't eaten anything all day!"
Dastardly sighed and summoned a drill, with Muttley simply chuckling. "Well I think I get your point, but do you get mine?"
While Pitstop attempted to eat a sandwich she brought with her, Dastardly rammed into her pretty pink car, causing it to spin out of control and hit the other racers behind them. Dastardly cheered for he felt his cheating tactic worked; that is until he suddenly was left in a pungent stinky fog caused by Penelope Pitstop farting by, with her using her flatulence to speed herself up.
"Sorry; I had to fill up my gas tank before I got here!" Penelope apologized while fanning the reeking air she made from her methane machine maker. "Peeyew! It's a good thing I'm not caught up in this because I feel like I could faint!"
"Damning drat, and here I thought we could avoid this." Dastardly moaned for the thick fog of stink caused him to crash into Kraid himself, who roared and smashed the entire rotating platform into the burning lava below with him.