I do not own nor do I make profit off of Twlight. All rights belong to it's author Stephanie Meyer.
I'm sorry. I just might be reaching burnout as it was very hard for me to sit down and edit this one, and also I'm not enjoying my own writing these days, but better late than never I always say.
Reviews:
Grechenia- HI MY FRIEND! I honestly can't thank you enough for being so kind to me in every review you write, it honestly completly makes my night when ever I read them and I can't thank you enough. You always give me so much credit, but honestly please give some to yourself too! You're so very kind and sweet and those are always the best qualities in a person and I beg you give yourself some grace as I know things aren't always the easiest! Thank you so much for always leaving such kind reviews and telling me the things you like about it. Please don't thank me, because you have nothing to Thank me for, I love sharing this fanfic with and absolutely love that you enjoy reading it as much as you do! YOU'RE an amazing person and I'm sending all my love your way!
DemonWolf25-I'm so sorry lol, I've been meaning to update over there for a while, but have just fallen behind, but I do promise you, it's me!
Boxessssss-Well...I have to be honest, I did infact beat myself up over it, and shut down for like 5 days over my simple mistake lol, but I did go back and fix it in those chapters, but I might have missed some, but hopefully all is well now! I googled soup too and I was writing that chapter so I realized the same thing as you lol, no worries all is well and all is safe. Sorry this chapter is a little late, I honestly didn't feel like editing so I really had to push myself to get it out. Thank you for the kind review on the last chapter, I kinda have a fear that I'm writing too many hurt and comfort pieces, so if I am please let my know so I can fix it right away! I hope you have the best day and thank you soooo much for leaving a review and pointing out my errors, I really appreciate it my love and send GOOD VIBES!
Ooshnish-OMG HELLO MY FRIEND! Thank you SOOO MUCH for the sweet review, it was honestly made my day and I couldn't stop smiling! I'm getting worried that I'm writing too many of these hurt and comfort chapters so if you get sick of them please let me know and I have more coming and if you are I'll give you a break lol. Have no worries my friend Rose and Mare are going to be just fine, I've found I kinda love writing them together and find they do a great job of healing each other in later chapters! Growing up my father really loved history and therefore we would watch a large majority of different things together, so it's thanks to him I was introduced to different shows around the world! I do fear you might be right my friend when it comes to burnout as I'm kinda reaching that stage. Usually I write my chapter on Monday-Friday and then spend the rest of Saturday night after work editing. For some reason this chapter was soooo hard for me to sit down and edit...although I did start a new show so that had a lot to do with it too. I use a program to read me all my writing so I can fix errors easier, so I have to have the room in complete silence...and I just didn't want to pause lol. Although some mistakes still slip through, sorry. Your comment about the Coffee's honestly made me laugh and sooooo happy, I can't even explain how it made me feel. Your encouragment means the world to me and honestly helps me keep going when I don't think I can, so thank you for always reviewing and leaving the nicest words...it makes me cry! LOVE YOU!
QueenSherica14- Have no fear the parents are back!Please let me know if these sappy parent/hurt/comfort chapter are too much, I've been writing a lot of them lately and fear their losing their..specialness I guess. I didn't realize how much i would be using that saying when I came up with it, so thank you for noticing it! Sorry about being a little late, but here you are! Thank you so much for reading and reviewing! It makes me smile when I see your name pop up!
Cullen123-Awww thank you so much for not forgetting about me! I know I don't see you name on ever review but when I do it makes me smile as I know your busy and probably have better things to do than just read my story here. Thank you for your kind reviews, it means the world to me and I can't thank you enough!
xoxoxo8123- Hello my clever friend! I've been teasing Mare's backstory for a while and can't wait to share it with you in some upcoming chapters (wink, wink) Thank you so much for your kind words, they really help me keep going and I hope this chapter is up to your stands! Thank you for stopping to read this little old story of mine, and for always being soo kind!
TranquilitySecrets210- HELLO MY FRIEND! First things first...Get. Out. Of. My. Head. You! You are beyond clever and I can't get over it! We might as well be writing the same story I absolutely kid you not. I can't hide anything from you! You pick up ever single little detail and just run with it and you're always RIGHT! Stop it now! JK lol! But seriously, give your self a big pat on the back and then treat yourself to something, because you just AMAZING! I do still have some secrets behind the scenes that I'm hoping to shock you with, but I'm going to have to tighten my belt here, just so that you can be a little surprised in the end! I am back for the remainder of February all though I do have to apologize for how late I am, editing was just a bit hard this week lol. Second, usually my responses take up another 1,000 words on these documents so I understand people might not like it, but it's so important to thank people for giving my story their time, soooooo oh well lol, I'm going to keep doing it. Third, SAME! It was my go to soup for whenever I was sick, that was until I picked up the stomach flu and now I can't stand the stuff! Fourth, I can't wait until you're able to share your story with with the world and hopefully I'll be the first to read and review! I love Carlisle and Esme so I have no doubt I will absolutely adore your story and want to give you all the encouragement! Please be gentle and kind with yourself, I have no doubt you're writing is amazing! And lastly, I hope your week is amazing and send you all the good things and feelings! Be safe!
I'm Kinda Mad At You
I'm on my feet and in Rose's arms before I can fully comprehend what I'm doing. Rose's arms are cold and rigid, wrapped around my body, holding me close. I breathe her scent in deeply, soft and floral...roses? Funny, I pull back,
"I'm sorry." Her perfect blonde brows furrow,
"Mare-"
"I know you're upset, but it's my fault-" Her hands reach forward, grabbing my biceps hard,
"Don't say that." She demands, "Mare, this was no one's fault...I'm sorry I disappeared, but please believe me when I say..this happening was just an accident and you and I both have to learn to accept that, understood?" I let my lips curl into a smile,
"Both of us?" She sighs and lets go,
"Yes Mare, I felt just as guilty as you did."
"What she means is she cares." Emmett pops his head into the kitchen, a goofy grin plastered on his face, "You can say it babe, you like Mare." She rolls her eyes in his direction, but turns to look back down at me,
"Emmett is annoying, but right. Mare I do care and I didn't like seeing you like that." She reaches forward to run her fingers down the length of my hair, "We're not going to repeat it."
"Yes, please," Emmett steps into the kitchen, "I feel very traumatized after that and don't want a repeat." He walks over to the kitchen island and examines my plate, before picking up the sandwich and peaking inside, "What's this," I shrug,
"Processed meat," I answer, Emmett makes a face and sets it down,
"Esme's really letting you eat this." I keep my mouth closed and instead walk over to him and grab my plate, stuffing the rest of my sandwich in my mouth, "That's gross." I swallow,
"Let's not talk about who's diet is gross."
"Emmett, leave her alone." He smirks, reaches out, and pulls me into his arms,
"You ever scare me like that again, I'm going to put you through a prank war so bad you'll come out blue." I hug him back tightly taking in his scent, pine and smoke,
"Don't start something you can't finish," He chuckles giving me one last squeeze before letting go,
"I never do, but I'm serious, don't do that again," I smirk at him,
"I'll try." I turn to my bagged carrots and sigh, as long as I keep eating things I know I can, I'll be fine...but Esme's food...it's amazing, but a lot of it I've never had before. I know she would never try to hurt me with food, but it could be an accident...I don't ever want to do that again.
"Eat Mare." Rose comes over to place her hand on my shoulder, "Alice and Jasper won't be back until tomorrow, but we'll all be in the living room when you're done."
"They decided to leave a bit earlier-"
"They didn't say goodbye." I cut her off,
"They're coming back, don't worry we'll see them before Christmas." I nod. She pats me gently on the way out, while Emmett bumps my shoulder with a big goofy grin. I take a breath and sigh and finally admit the one phrase I've been keeping to myself these last two days,
"I'm scared."
...
"I'm going to have Shelia take some blood while we're there." I jump out of my seat only to have my seatbelt pull me right back,
"What?"
"I think you might be anemic." He states keeping his eyes on the road,
"I'm not." I insist crossing my arms, "What is that?" I mumble after a second.
Carlisle's been very gentle with me since my freakout last night. When I finished dinner, I went into the living room like Rosalie told me to, only to find everyone sitting on the couch, watching The Mummy 2, Carlisle insisted I sit next to him and kept his arm around me the whole time, just like he did the first movie. Like every day lately I fell asleep and woke up in my bed this morning. It was already 10 and like Carlisle said last night, they called me in from school keeping me home until the dreaded allergist appointment at two. I wandered down to breakfast. Esme was in the kitchen a smile on her face as she set, a lemon luna bar, a bowl of fruit, and a bottle of orange juice in front of me. More safe foods,
"It's a condition in which the body does not have enough healthy red blood cells."
"Why do you think I have that?" I hate feeling like I'm being diagnosed,
"Your tiredness for one, but you've seemed sluggish and weak this weekend, even before the anaphylaxis. Last night your hands were colder than normal and I've noticed your heartbeats have been a little irregular too, but that could just be anxiety." I shutter and turn away from him. I don't like being talked about like that...like something's wrong with me. I hold myself closer...I want my mom.
"Sweetheart?" Carlisle tries to get my attention, but I just curl more into myself, "Mare honey, I'm not doing this to you because I like it. Edward told me you did well this weekend with the needles so a blood test should be quick and easy." I bite my cheeks hard and look away feeling my chest tighten,
"I know," I whisper, thinking back to last night "Everyone left last night, it's still bothering me that I didn't get to say goodbye.
"I asked them too." Carlisle admits, "but we've made plans to see them soon next month."
"mmm" I answer back turning to look out the window.
"Did you sleep well?"
"Yes." My dreams were the same, someone calling my name while people around me move my body around, but I'm not about to tell that to Carlisle.
"Mare, please look at me." I shake my head and I know despite driving Carlisle's seen it, "My sweet girl, I'm sorry that this is all so uncomfortable for you-"
"Can we just drive in silence?" I ask quietly and for a second I expect him to yell back, I don't know why, I know Carlisle wouldn't yell at me... I've never heard him yell before, but for some reason, I feel programmed to expect adults to yell when I interrupt them,
"I would like us to talk." He says gently, "But if silence is what you need, then that is what I can give you, but Mare my love, I'm here when you want to talk and I hope we do before we go into the appointment." He's going to be disappointed, I'm shut down.
…
"Marceline Cullen?" I reluctantly get to my feet and unlike last time when Carlisle stayed seated, he gets up with me and smiles before holding his hand out for me to take the lead. I take a breath and follow the nurse with a clipboard into the back. She leads us to a room that looks like any other doctor's office only the large table with paper is a bit larger and has pillows on it.
"Go ahead and take a seat in that chair over there and Dr. Cullen I brought a chair in for you right next to it."
"Thank you." Carlisle smiles and directs me to take a seat. One of the chairs is larger with a tray that swivels back and forth. Carlisle waits till I sit down and then pushes the tray in front of me and gestures for me to place my arm on it. Reluctantly I do and only then does he sit down in the chair next to me. It's a chair that looks like it was dragged in from the waiting room. The nurse pumps something onto her hands and grabs a pair of rubber gloves from the wall,
"Okay, so first things first we are going to take a simple blood test." I watch as she begins taking things out of random drawers and placing them on a small metal tray. I bite my cheeks only to have Carlisle place his hand on my arm in a soothing gesture. The nurse sits down across from me and gently grabs my arm, rolling up the sleeve of my grey thermal, and examines my arm closely before quickly tying a rubber band around my bicep. I look to Carlisle who smiles and holds out his hand,
"You can hold on to me if you need to." I decided to be mad at Carlisle, but right now I feel like I need his comfort and reach forward grabbing his hand, "Edward said you were fine this weekend."
"I didn't look," I mumble, Edward kept me distracted when Dr. Grady injected the lidocaine and then I just kept my eyes on the ceiling as he sewed my completely numb leg back up and then when they put the IV in later, Edward once again kept my eyes on him. The cold feeling of an alcohol wipe on my inner elbow brings me back to the present and I shiver,
"Don't look now." Carlisle reaches up to caress my cheek and pushes my head into his side. I swallow scrunching my eyes when I feel the sharp prick. It lingers for a second longer and then it's just uncomfortable,
"You're doing a really good job sweetheart, we're almost done now." I keep my eyes shut tight until I feel the nurse push something soft into the crook of my elbow and then feel her place a bandaid over the spot when she's finished.
"She's done," Carlisle whispers, and I quickly lift my head and cross my arms. The nurse in front of me smiles as she places five vials of dark red blood on the small bowl in the tray and stands. She dumps the syringe and trash into the garbage and grabs a folded-up piece of fabric from a drawer and sets it down front of me,
"Go ahead and change into this, you can keep your jeans on, we're only going to need access to your back so the top and bra have to go." I take a breath and nod, she smiles and turns to Carlisle,
"Dr. Woods will be with us in just a second, in the meantime, I'm going to step out and let you change." She smiles, grabs the tray, places her clipboard in a small basket on the wall, and makes a quick exit. Carlisle grabs the fabric that I know now is a gown and holds it up,
"Are you going to step out too?"
"Go ahead and change, I'm not going to watch." He turns towards the wall and I can't help but whine as I get to my feet and quickly throw the gown on. I fold my sports bra and gently sandwich it in my shirt. I slide back into the large chair and cross my arms trying to make myself look small. Carlisle turns and gives me a comforting smile.
"I really don't want to do this." Carlisle places his arm around me and hugs me close,
"I understand, but once we get this over with, we'll know exactly what you can and can't have." Suddenly the door opens and a woman with deep-colored skin and warm eyes enters, she smiles,
"Carlisle it's good to see you." Carlisle holds his hand out and she's quick to take it giving him a hardy shake,
"Shelia, doing good I imagine." She nods reaching for a bottle of hand sanitizer and squirts it on her hands,
"Can't complain, it's good to see you," She turns to me, "And I hear you've brought your niece, it's so good to meet you, I'm Dr. Shelia Woods." She holds out her hand, I take it. "Marceline correct?" She lets go and I nod,
"Just Mare please."
"Okay Mare, well I've heard that you've recently discovered that you have an allergy." I nod,
"Lobster," Carlisle comes to sit down next to me again and Dr. Woods grabs the clipboard from the basket on the wall and sits down on a small rolling stool tucked away in the corner.
"Alright tell me a little bit about what happened when you ate it." I turn to Carlisle almost wanting to ask him if she's serious, but when he gives me an encouraging smile I sigh,
"umm, at first my mouth felt hot and then it was itchy and suddenly it felt like I couldn't breathe." I reach for my throat, waiting for the symptoms to start all over again, when they don't I take a breath,
"Alright, so that is what we would classify as a severe reaction and it's very important that we follow up on that. Usually, we wait about a week, just to make sure any antihistamines you've been given are out of your system, but during severe cases like this, we like to test as soon as possible. People who tend to react to a certain food might find that they have similar reactions to other foods in the same category, so for lobster that could also mean, crab, crawfish, or just seafood in general, like shrimp or fish. Have you ever noticed anything like that?"
"I've never had lobster crab or shrimp, but I've eaten salmon and other fish and it was fine." She nods,
"Alright, well we are going to be testing those things today along with some other similar categories and then just some common household allergens. Does that sound alright to you." No. I nod, "Alright, go ahead and hop up on the table, I'm just going to take a quick set of vitals and then we're going to get started." I give Carlisle one last look and then slowly get to my feet to follow her directions. Her hands are gentle as she goes down the list of listening to my heart and lungs, taking my blood pressure and pulse, she finishes off by taking my temperature when theirs a knock on the door,
"Perfect timing." She smiles as the nurse comes in carrying two large trays, "Mare this procedure is called a skin prick test and it's something we've done thousands of times, hundreds in a week so you're in very good hands." She picks up one of the small plastic tubes in the tray and holds it out for me to see, "We're going to score your back just so we know what is going where and then we just scratch a little of the allergen in each spot and then we wait to see if there's a reaction, alright?"
"What's that one?"
"Animal dander, It's a fairly common allergy so we tend to always include it in these tests, we also have different varieties of shellfish and pollen and a few random ones we always throw in there just to see."
"It's very routine." Carlisle throws in, I swallow.
"Okay." Dr. Woods smiles and places the small tube back into the tray,
"Alright, go ahead and lay on your belly, we have different pillows so you can get comfy, you're going to have to lay like that for about twenty minutes." I sigh and carefully flip over and lie down. I feel Dr. Woods gently untie the back of the gown and expose my back fully, "First we're going to make some marks, this is just a regular felt-tipped pen." I feel lines being drawn on my back, first up and down then side to side. I lose count but enjoy the feeling of her drawing on my skin. I bury my face in my arms and take a deep breath. I hear the stool move until it's in front of me, I lift my head only to find Carlisle sitting in front of me, he places his hand on my arm and nods encouragingly. He must have moved from the waiting room chair to this one.
"It's going to be alright."
"You're uncles right," Dr. Woods adds, "I'm going to start the test Mare, as I said it's not going to hurt, just small scratches. We are going to use lobster as the control, so this is going to be a bit uncomfortable, but we'll get you some ointment when we're done, this is going to go fast. On the count of one, two, three." I feel scratches begin starting just under my right shoulder blade and going all the way down to just the bottom of my back and start all over again, up and down, up and down, and almost immediately I feel an awful red itching start right at the top of my back where she made the first scratch and almost immediately I'm uncomfortable.
"I know, I know, once we're done I'm going to put some cream on that, but that is what a reaction is going to feel like." Dr. Woods says encouragingly, she's still making scratches up and down my back and I can't help but squirm,
"You're doing well." Carlisle pats my arm,
"Almost done." Dr. Woods adds. I never had to do this kind of stuff back home...I wanna go back...or am I just being dramatic? "Annnnnnnnddddddddddddddddddd done." Dr. Woods finishes "Almost immediately I see a reaction, to crab, crawfish, and shrimp, so all crustaceans are out, but it doesn't seem like mollusks are affected." I feel her make circles with the marker and then rub something cooling on my skin, it relieves the itching just a bit.
"Just what we were expecting," Carlisle says matter of factly,
"It seems we have a few more here too." What?!
…
By the time we pull up to the house, the burning on my back has lightened. It's more of just a really itchy sunburn now and I've been resisting the urge to scratch it since getting into the car.
"You haven't said anything," Carlisle observes,
"I'm kinda mad at you," I admit refusing to meet his eyes, to my surprise he chuckles,
"I know. Would you like to tell me why?"
"I didn't want to do this." I sound like a child and I hate it,
"I know sweetheart, but do you understand how important this is." I nod, still keeping my eyes down, staring at my knees,
"You didn't tell me until we were almost there about the blood test."
"Ahh, is that what you're most angry about?" I shrug, yes and no,
"I'm not anemic." It took an hour and a half but the blood test did come back and as far as Dr. Woods could tell, she said it was normal.
"Correct, but now we know." I sigh relaxing deeper into the car seat,
"I just didn't like it," I mumble. "I feel like you treat me more like a problem you have to fix, than a person I guess."
"Mare, my sweet, sweet girl, it's never been my intention to make you feel that way, I don't enjoy seeing you sick or injured and it's just the physician in me that wants to make it better." I turn towards him, it's hard to be mad at Carlisle when he just so...Carlisle. Theirs no other way to say it.
"I'm sorry."
"For what, honey?"
"I shouldn't be mad at you, you've given me a place to stay and spent a lot of money on me."
"Ahhhhhh Mare, I know you have an aversion to money especially when it's being spent on you, and while I try to understand it I just have to tell you, my sweet girl...I don't care." This catches me off guard and I find myself sitting up,
"What?"
"Yes, I don't care that you don't like when Esme and I do nice things for you, spend money on you, show you affection and care. Don't get me wrong Mare, sweetheart, it does bother me in a way in which I wish these things didn't bother you. You're 14 you should want nice things and affection, but you don't and that must be because, you're used to not receiving those things, and you've grown accustomed to it. You almost must have been taught not to accept things or trust people easily and you've built borders and I want to knock them down, however, I also want to respect your boundaries so these things are going to take time, and I'm willing to give you that time." Carlisle's eyes bare hard into mine, I swallow nothing, feeling the familiar lump of emotion in my throat,
"I don't want time,"
"I know, you want to be stubborn and hold your ground and that's okay, but Mare you've become very close to everyone in this family. I know none of us, yourself included planned on you staying here for long, however, this is all out of our control and you being here has become second nature, and we all love having you here." He pauses, "and I like to think that you also may be like being here am I correct?" I shrug
"You're not wrong," I say after a second, and Carlisle's lips lift at that,
"We care, Mare, we love you." I swallow again, this time it does nothing and I have to blink back wetness. "I'm sorry if my good intentions made you feel like a problem I have to fix, but I do want you healthy, but also I'm a doctor. I'm very aware of the mortality of humans, I work with them every day and I've held more than enough hands as they've left this world to know how delicate they are, how delicate you are. The family knows, but I fear they forget sometimes and you've made an impression on all of them. My job has always felt like the head of this family, to make sure everyone is thriving and well and my fear is if you're not, then no one else will." I reach up wiping away the tears in my eyes and grunt to make sure my voice doesn't crack,
"You're so sappy." I hear him laugh next to me and turn.
"Are you still mad at me?" He asks with one blonde brow raised, I shake my head,
"I stopped being mad at you the minute I said it." Carlisle holds his hand out,
"Let's make a deal, I'll do my best to never make you feel like theirs something wrong with you and you'll- "
"Try not to be so moody and ungrateful." I interrupt,
"You're very grateful." Carlisle scolds,
"I don't feel grateful right now."
"How about you'll try not to be so hard on yourself and possibly open the lines of communication just a bit more?" I reach forward and grab his hand and give it a firm shake,
"Deal."
"Deal, now let's get inside, Esme's been waiting at the door for the last four minutes waiting for us to come in, although once we get out of this car, she'll go back into the kitchen and pretend she wasn't and I expect you to act like she's been there the whole time." I smile and get out of the car following Carlisle to the garage door and let him open it. I head in first and sure enough, once we get to the top, Esme calls out from the kitchen,
"Well?" She asks when we both enter. She already has a bottle of water, a bag of carrots, and a cut-up apple on the table,
"How did it go?" She asks a little anxiously. I share a look with Carlisle before heading over to my barstool,
"All crustaceans are out, penicillin too it seems." Carlisle seemed sad at that one when Dr. Woods pointed it out, but honestly, who cares. "And lastly a mild reaction to bees and pineapples."
"What?! Mare, I've been given you pineapples in your fruit bowls and smoothies."
"I thought they made everyone's mouth hurt, their enzymes like, eat muscle or something right?" I shrug,
"NO!" Esme exclaims,
"She's right, it's called bromelain and-" He stops when he notices the intense glare Esme is giving him, "Annnnddddd I'm sorry Mare, you won't be eating them anymore, but honestly Mi Amour it's quite mild,"
"I don't care, that's a lot of things." Esme sounds worried peaking over at me in concern. I open the bag of carrots and start chomping away,
"All things we can easily avoid," Carlisle reassures her with a smirk,
"I don't like it."
"Me either," I say crunching into a carrot, she looks over at me and huffs before smiling,
"How are you feeling?"
"I'm not sick."
"I know you're not." She doesn't sound convincing and she looks to Carlisle for reassurance,
"Sheila said the hives have dispersed nicely and should be faint enough tomorrow and completely gone by Wednesday." Esme smiles,
"How's your leg?"
"I applied the ointment." Just as he said, Carlisle came in this morning to make sure I had put someone...it's a good thing too, I forgot. "It's not bad, I promise. I can go to school tomorrow right?"
"Yes, just no gym, I gave the nurse your note when I dropped off your Epi-pen." I nod grabbing a chunk of apple,
"Everything's back to normal," I tell her with a smile, she smiles back and walks around the kitchen Island to hug me, and I hug her back tightly. "Theirs no need to worry," I whisper into her sweater,
"I will always worry." She whispers back,
"Mare, theirs actually something we wanted to talk to you about."
"Ya?" Carlisle walks in front of the island and waves Esme over to join them. When they are both in front of me Carlisle takes a wavering breath
"How would you like to go to Italy before Christmas?"