"Try to eat something, Miss." Kitty suggested.
"N-no thank you." Felice shook her head.
"What happened, Miss? You's real pale. And you shakin' like the devil himself paid you a visit!" Kitty exclaimed.
The devil's plaything, Felice thought. "I...I...I'm not accustomed to being in the company of...of worldly men such as the duke. I...I...have not had the best experience with men outside of my family ties." Felice tried to explain calmly, her voice still quivering.
"You have family." Kitty murmured longingly. "You are lucky, Miss. I ain't got nobody, 'cept Lady de Winter." Felice stared at the little girl.
"You don't have a f-family of your own?" She asked shakily.
"Nay." Kitty looked down at her hands. "I don't even know me father or mum's names."
"How could that be?" Felice questioned.
"I was raised in an orphan asylum, Miss. Where the bastards are sent, and…"
"You're not a bastard, Kitty!" Felice corrected sharply, hot tears still spilling down her face. "I don't ever want to hear you call yourself that again! Whatever happened, was no fault of yours. You had parents, you just don't know who they were, that's all. Everyone has had parents at some time."
"I never have, Miss." Kitty shook her head. Felice was still trembling, but she scooted closer to the little handmaiden.
"What was it like, living in an orphanage, Kitty?" Felice prodded further. Kitty hung her head. "I'm sorry, Kitty. You do not need to talk about it if you don't want to."
Tears filled Kitty's eyes. "I lived in the orphanage me whole life, Miss." Her small lip trembled. "We was taught to read, and write. Had to do chores to earn our keep, learn a trade. We was told we must be very good if we hoped for someone to come 'n adopt us."
"That doesn't sound too bad." Felice said casually. She didn't notice that her trembling had lessened. "Were the teachers fair?"
"Aye. They was fair." Kitty nodded. "Save Master Smythe. He was hard and had a temper. If we misbehaved, we was sent to him! He always said that nobody would want a bad child, so we must display perfect conduct on Visiting Days when people would come to look us over to see if they would want us as one of their own. But, no one ever wanted me."
"What? Why not?" Felice sniffled, wiping at her eyes. "Were you naughty?"
"Sometimes. But even the teachers said I was a good student, and I didn't get sent to Master Smythe too noticeably."
"But still nobody wanted you?"
"That's right, Miss. I just ain't the right color." Kitty said curtly, gazing with shame down at her arm which was staring back up at her with the chocolaty colored skin.
"That's why?!" Felice sputtered.
"Aye, Miss. The teachers tried to show grownups what a good child I was, but when they'd see me, they would change their minds." Kitty wept softly.
"Oh, Kitty. My parents wouldn't!" Felice declared.
"You don't like to think so, but they would." Kitty hissed. "Everyone does."
"You don't know my family, Kitty. Mind your tongue." Felice told her firmly. "My parents wouldn't give a darn about what color your skin is, as long as you care about your integrity, that's what matters to them. They look for heart in a person, not classification. I suppose that's one of the perks of living in the countryside of Gascony." Felice struggled not to cry again. Thinking of home, of her sweet parents, only lengthened her agony in this moment, and she felt more physically homesick than she could remember.
"Will you tell me about Gascony, Miss?" Kitty asked hopefully, looking up eagerly. Felice reached into her skirt pocket to retrieve a handkerchief. She blew her nose to try and compose herself.
"Gascony is...so free." Felice explained fondly. "So big, green fields and hills as far as the eye can see. Small but cozy, welcoming houses along the dirt roads." Her stomach ached as she could picture that world she grew up in, perfectly in her memories. "The smell of home cooking drifting for miles!" She continued. "The cool ponds to wade or fish in. The open fields to ride or train steeds, to train with arms in, or just race around. The prettiest wildflowers that smell so sweet. The neighbors help one another...well, when they aren't gathering to gossip about anything, everything, and nothing! It's...it's home."
"Sounds like a book, Miss." Kitty remarked. "Sounds like a lovely storybook." That made Felice smile through her tears. She met the little girl's dark eyes.
"Does Lady de Winter treat you well?" Felice asked.
"She's...fair." Kitty shrugged. "She ain't so bad. Not really. She the only real family I got."
"Does she treat you like family?" Felice prodded harder.
"I guess?" Kitty furrowed her brows. She'd never had a true family, so how could she understand the difference? "She gives me clothes, and food. I have a warm bed, which is more than some kids got, I hear. She reminds me of that a lot. How much she's done for me when others ain't so fortunate.
'Know your place, Kitty', she always says. 'You know, it isn't everyone who would take in a girl like you? You should count yourself lucky.' I am lucky, I suppose. She don't beat me or nothing."
"Well, I am relieved to hear that!" Felice breathed. But she knows Rochefort! She implied she'd hand me over to him! If she is involved with that...that...then she can't possibly be trusted! Felice told herself.
"Lady de Winter's good to me. I should be grateful." Kitty said dutifully. "If I'm bad, she has me sit in a closet alone for some time."
"What?" Felice gasped.
"If I displease her. If I transgress, I must stay in a closet, in the dark until she feels I have learned my lesson. I am used to it." Kitty sighed.
"Kitty! That's...that's wrong." Felice stammered. "And you are alright with this?"
"She's my mistress. She only wants what's good for me. That why I don't make me presence known in public or among callers, unless she summons me to pour her tea or somethin'. So that the visitors won't stare at me and degrade me, she says. She's only tryin' to protect me feelings, Miss."
Sounds more to me like she believes the child isn't fit to be seen, except as a servant, Felice thought angrily. And I'm sure Buckingham agrees with that sentiment.
"Well, she has assigned you to be my maid and companion while I am here." She spoke firmly. "And you will do as I say from now on! Do you understand?"
"Yes, Miss." Kitty nodded meekly.
"For starters, there will be no more punishment sitting in a dark closet!"