Companion's Reaction 9
Disclaimers I don't own Fallout or any of the property referenced in this fic please support any to all official releases.
"All right guys, now that we're back let's dive right back into the world of Team Fortress again" said Pablo, "Oh god please no!" jeered Danse as everyone who was there followed in tandem.
"Seriously man, the last 3 were barely tolerable, and now you plan to torture us again!" stated Boone as he spat out his tobacco as a strong sign of defiance.
"I'm confused, what was so bad the last time?" asked Walking Cloud, "You've got what can be described as the perfect example of a Bostonian, a mentally disturbed man who's biggest crime was stolen valor and then… the Pyro" said Deacon as everyone shuttered in fear over the mention of the Pyro's name.
"I assure you guys, the next 3 clips won't be as hectic, since we'll be going through the entire defense team, starting with the Engineer" said Pablo as he began to load the clip.
-Meet the Engineer-
-The Engineer is sitting on his toolbox in front of a blue truck, strumming his guitar. The track "More Gun" plays. Next to him is a kill counter displaying 209-
"Hey look, buddy. I'm an engineer, that means I solve problems" said the Engineer as a shot rings out and a bullet hole appears to the left of the Engineer's head.
-Pause-
"Wait is the Engineer getting shot at?" asked Piper with a raised brow, "Yeah, and the fact that he's able to remain calm while strumming that six string is quite a nerve of display" added Nick.
"Big deal, we snipers are generally taught to remain calm and compose in a fire fight of any kind" said Boone, "Amen to that brother" said MacCready.
-Continue-
"Not problems like "What is beauty?", 'cause that would fall within the purview of your conundrums of philosophy. I solve practical problems!" said the Engineer as another two bullet holes appear, on the other side of the Engineer's head as he played his guitar.
-The shot zooms out to show a Level 2 sentry shooting off screen while the Engineer takes a long drink from his beer, where the sounds of the Heavy screaming to his death can be heard followed by his kill counter changing from a 209 to 210-
-Pause-
"I'm sorry, but I think I just missed out as to what he killed" said Veronica, "From the sounds of it, I would have to guess it might've been a sentry of some kind" said X6.
"Whatever it is, it's racked him up a kill of up to 210 bodies- that's just insane for one person" said Arcade as he pointed out the device causing everyone to go wide eye.
"Well god damn, now I've seen everything" said Hancock, "I mean I've seen people getting killed unsuspectedly by sentry machine's before, but for a body count that high is just unheard of" said Preston.
-Continue-
"For instance, how am I gonna stop some big mean Mother-Hubbard from tearin' me a structurally superfluous new behind" said the Engineer as a BLU Sniper stalks him in the background in the hills. The Sniper tries to kill him, but he gets spotted by a Level 1 Sentry, which shoots him down.
"The answer? Use a gun. And if that don't work, use more gun" said the Engineer as his level 2 sentry killed a Scout, followed by the salvo rockets on his level 3 sentry blowing up an unknown BLU mercenary as they could be heard screaming from the distance the loss of their arm as it lands next to the engineer.
-Pause-
"I agree Leo, the amount of carnage the engineer is committing is rather enviable" said Lily, "Bah, little man sits there playing with stringed broom, and let's machine fight and kill. Makes him weak, doesn't make strong, make Strong mad" commented Strong.
"In the final days leading to the end of the world, there was heavy debate as to whether or not the inclusive use of automatic machinery being sent to the battle field was appropriate and morally acceptable, considering how people would be fighting their wars without bloodshed, or rather the enemies will fight and lose their lives while those who run the machines have little to nothing to fear" said Joshua.
"But isn't that a good thing to keep the casualty count to a bare minimum?" asked Piper, "It all depends as to who's got their hand over the big red button, like how you've got the Brotherhood controlling Liberty Prime, or the Institute with their infinite number of gen 2 Synths" said Deacon.
"Or Mister House and his Securitron army" said Boone, "Or the NCR's control of both Helios One and the Hoover Damn. Granted their not necessarily weapons of mass destruction, or at the very least one of them no longer is, but still all it would take is one click of a button to rob the people of the Mojave of their access to power and water, before absolute anarchy takes control" said Arcade.
-Continue-
"Like this heavy-calibertripod-mounted little-old-number designed by me. Built, by me. And you best hope... Not pointed at you" said the Engineer as with every passing sentence he was racking up kills as we got to see each on of the 3 different level of sentry guns he had out as we pan out to see how one man was easily able to take on an entire army by himself and then some.
-End-
"Well that was definitely something" commented Cass, "No shit, I always wondered why Sole was obsessed in laying out a line of sentry's in every settlement he ever built" said MacCready.
"And yet, for some ungodly reason, there's always that one asshole, who wonders out to far and get's themselves captured like the biggest fucking idiot that they are" said Cait as the east coast companions can agree that was definitely frustrating considering that besides the Minutemen Fort, Sanctuary Hills has not only the most, but definitely the biggest set of guns lined up and like every other week, someone gets captured and needs to be rescued like the chump they are.
"I'm impressed, I never thought that gadgets and doodads of the past could kill, let alone in big numbers" said Follows-Chalk, "The numbers are definitely embellished here" said Veronica as dealing with sentry turrets of any kind can and will kill you if not prepared, but there's yet to be any record official or unofficial about these sentry turrets being able to rack up that many kills in the hundreds.
"Still, it does give the idea of possibly adding more powerful turrets on not only strongholds, but possibly on the battlefields as well" said Boone, "I've no doubt in my mind should the NCR decide to use sentry turrets in any future warfare against the Legion, they'd have a great advantage along with the likes of it's first Recon and Veteran Rangers" commented Joshua as such a tactic would most definitely put the Legion at an unfair advantage.
"Well enough with the jibber jabber, it's time for us to set our sights on the Demoman" said Pablo as he began to load the next clip.
-Meet the Demoman-
-The first thing to get everyone's attention shortly after the title card was the sound of high tempo music and the sounds of explosions before we sport the Demoman with a mad smile barely escaping an exploding hallway-
"What makes me a good Demoman? If I were a bad Demoman, I wouldn't be sitting here discussing it with ya, now would I!?" shouted the Demoman in his normal belligerent state.
-Pause-
"He's not wrong, about the fact that if he were a bad Demoman, he'd be dead" said Boone, "I mean it's a clear given, considering how we've faced off against some Powder Ganger's who were stupid enough to get caught in their own trap" said Raul.
"Powder Gangers? Who are they?" asked Piper, "Just a couple of prisoners who got lucky in overtaking the NCRCF that was stationed out in the Mojave, thankfully, like the Vipers, Jackals, and whatever iteration of the Khan's we had this time, they were pushed to extinction" informed Boone.
"Correct me if I'm wrong, but I was there with the Courier and we settled on a peaceful alternative to be rid of the Khan's" pointed out Arcade, "Whatever, bottom line is, they're no long a pain in the NCR's ass anymore" said Boone.
"Moving on" said Pablo as he continued where they had left off.
-Continue-
-With a heartfelt battle cry, the Demoman joined his team as he narrowly dodged an explosion from their spawn room as he taunted an unseen attacker as the Demoman remained one foot ahead of being blown to bits-
"One crossed wire, one weight worth of potassium-chloride, one errant twitch. And Ka-blowie!" said the Demoman as he grabbed his signature bottle of scrumpy.
-Between inter changing cuts of the Demoman downing his bottle of scrumpy, he's already gone and bank shot one of his grenade pills off the wall as it gibbed an enemy pyro that was chasing him down, or how after the BLU Engineer finished setting up a level 3 sentry had managed to take out the Scout, but fell short when the Demoman shot 2 pills and destroyed the unguarded turret-
-Pause-
"My word, what is the man trying to do to his liver!" exclaimed Curie as she's seen her companions drink before, but never in such a manner that left her feeling concerned about a persons health.
"Shite, I may have to get a taste of that scrumpy he's been nipping at" said Cait, "I don't see why not, I mean you're both loud, you both talk funny, and you both drink heavy" Deacon said with a shit eating grin.
"Fuck off Deacon! We sound nothing alike me and that one demo dunce!" Cait said angrily, "I must concur with Ms. Cait here, since the Demoman speaks with a distinct Scottish accent, not to be confused with my naturally programmed British accent, or Ms. Cait's Irish accent" informed Codsworth.
"Scottish accents? British accents? What part of the 13 commonwealth are those native from?" asked Danse, "Technically they're not native to the United States originally, rather from their native countries, which would've been Scotland, Ireland, the United Kingdom, or how my accent is originally from France" informed Curie.
"Even my accent is distinct cause I'm originally from Mexico" added Raul, "…What's a Mexico?" asked MacCready.
"It's where me and Raul are originally from, now moving on" said Pablo.
-Continue-
"I've got a manky eye. I'm a Black Scottish Cyclops. They've got more fecking sea monsters in the great Loch at Ness than they've got the likes of me" said the Demoman as he swung his arms about recklessly that he almost set off one of his grenades.
-Pause-
"Um…" said Cass, "…I mean" said Hancock, "…Really puts you perspective of how we all speak" said Veronica.
"Honestly I'm speechless, like wow" said Deacon, "And I thought I was known for cursing like a sailor" said Cait, "I've heard Caesar swear and act rather crass to his closest of men and lowly of troops, but this, this proves that while bad language isn't necessarily a sin, less you use the lords name in vain, there's got to be an exception or at the very least a line to draw" said Joshua as he hasn't been speechless since his failures at the first battle at the Hoover Dam.
-Continue-
"So to all you find dandies so proud, so cocksure. Prancing about with your head full of eyeballs. Come and get me I say" said the Demoman as he spotted a group of BLU merc's turning the corner ready to add him to their kill count, before he turned tail with a mad smile on his face.
"I'll be waiting for you with a whiff of me old brimstone. I'm a Grim bloody fable! With an unhappy ending!" proclaimed the Demoman as once he had reach the end of the large and elaborate hallway, he began to place his sticky bomb traps and patiently waited for the BLU team to apprehend him as he went back to downing his scrumpy, where by the time one of them had time to notice they were all blown into red mist and meat chunks.
"Hahaha, oh they're going to have to glue you back together, in Hell!" shouted the Demoman to the pile of gibbed corpses.
-End-
"Ok, that one was definitely a character" said Arcade, "You can say that again, I honestly feel a lot of mixed emotion of what I saw, though I guess it's in a good way" said Boone.
"It's concerning how these men, these mercenaries are even allowed to be let lose, considering how all of them tend to be more problematic than they're worth hiring" said X6 as he this disdain towards everyone but the Engineer who seemed the most level headed so far, while the Pyro genuinely frightened him to his very core.
"What I find concerning is the well being of this man's liver and overall body, since consuming that much alcohol in one sitting not only puts himself at risk or danger, but also to those around him" said Curie.
"These men are all a disgrace to what it means to be a soldier, and quite frankly I've had enough of watching these idiots at work" said Danse as he's seen how being dependent on alcohol or drugs effects people in the worst way, as evident as he's only been present when he watched one of his brothers be expelled from the Brotherhood cause he developed a dependency on Psycho.
"Well we've got one more clip before we can call it a day, and this is centered around the face of TF2, the Heavy" said Pablo.
-Meet the Heavy-
-Shortly after the title card, the sounds of heavily shuffling can be heard in the background as we close up on an empty box, before it was promptly flattened by a minigun as it was being carried by who else, but the Heavy-
"I am Heavy weapons guy, and this is my weapon. She weighs 150 Kilograms and fires custom $200 dollar cartridge per second. It costs $200,000 to fire this weapon, for 12 seconds" said the Heavy as he not only admired, but flex the very weapon that he carries into battle on a regular.
-Pause-
"I'm sorry he spends how much and carries how much now" Preston asked out loud as everyone was wide eye.
"I mean, we've all seen Sole carry around miniguns before, but they don't weigh nearly that much now, do they" asked Piper, "No, not even close, I mean even the Courier has carried around a minigun once or twice before, and I've seen him testing out a minigun at both it's stock weight and alloy light weight" said Veronica.
"I know it may seem rather insignificant considering I'm always in Power Armor, but at its maximum capacity even after modifications, a minigun should weigh no more than 40lbs, which wouldn't include ammo capacity" said Danse.
"Really to go about carrying something that's pretty much 300lbs in and out in the battlefield takes some serious muscle outside of power armor" said Boone, "Which you know in retrospect is pretty reckless considering a weapon at that weight is much better suited to be mounted on a vehicle of some kind" said Arcade.
"Who cares about the weight, what about the damn price he's paying for the ammo" said MacCready as he's no stranger to paying more for a powerful round when taking out tougher enemies, but those were usually far in between instances he's done something like that.
"Assuming that in this instance that the price of the USD to WBC is the same, the Heavy is essentially paying 200 cap increase per round for his weapon, voluntarily it seems, and after doing the math it seems him spending $200,000 in 12 seconds doesn't seem all that impossible" said Curie as everyone began to pale about that with some being afflicted with a very acute case of a minor cardiac arrest.
"I didn't think anyone was more crazy than the Pyro, but I think we just found our guy" said Hancock, "Seriously he's either seriously indebt or has to be a fecking millionaire if he's willing to waste that much money on ammo" said Cait as she was this close from taking some sort of chem to help her cope.
-Continue-
-Shortly after Heavy's flex, we see him joyfully laughing as he slaps himself on the knee. Then we cut to a scene of Heavy examining his weapon, whom he calls Sasha as he noticed someone was messing with his gun as he demanded to know the culprit off in a random direction-
"Some people think they can outsmart me. Maybe, maybe, sniff. I've yet to see a man who can outsmart bullet" said Heavy as he was instantly transported into a battlefield and laughing like a mad man as he shot his minigun everyone amidst the chaos while shouting his one liner.
-End-
"Heavy is strong. Stronger than Strong. Strong must acquire Sasha and kill many enemies. Make Strong as strong as Heavy, only for Strong to get stronger" proclaimed Strong as everyone began to laugh with him.
"If anyone, and I mean anyone can get as strong as the Heavy, it's you Strong" said Deacon, "I mean don't expect us to pay for the insane cost of ammo, but you've got our support" said MacCready.
"You know, I think I can break us a deal back in the NCR, I know a guy who sell surplus ammo pretty cheap" said Boone, "But Surplus ammo is already cheap" said Cass, "I mean even cheaper".
"Before I start looking for the next clip, you guys ought to know some fun facts about the merc's we saw. The Engineer has over 14 different PhD's in engineering, and robotics science, The Demoman has been living off on nothing but alcohol and painkillers for so long, that feeding him solid food and water now acts like poison to his body, and the Heavy is a licensed professor in Russian Literature" said Pablo.
"That would explain my immediate disdain for the Heavy, Commie Bastard" said Codsworth bluntly as he's never shown genuine hatred for anyone like that, much less was vocal about these sort of things.
"While it's definitely intriguing to know that the Engineer is definitely a genius that could rival Robert House, I could've lived not knowing about the Demoman" said Arcade as a concerning doctor.
"Which mind you doesn't sound neither practical or possible for a human to have such an unhealthy diet where he should've already been dead long ago" said Curie.
"Not to nitpick but why didn't you mention us any fun facts about the first 3 mercenaries" asked Piper, "Because you guys were visibly upset after seeing the carnage Pyro had laid waste to" said Pablo.
"Where since the little lady ask, mind telling us Pablo" asked Nick, "Sure thing, the Scout is revealed to be literally gods gift to all the woman in the world, save that story for another day, the Soldier once was roommate's with a literal and powerful Wizard that's usually directly or indirectly involve causing chaos on our fellow merc's every Halloween, and the Pyro is the only member of the team who's a complete paradox, since know one knows if they're really a man or even a woman, and even their ethnical race, with the only exceptions being their employer, the Medic, and possibly the Engineer.
"I've heard some tall-tales before, but all those things you mentioned sound like stupid nonsense and utter poppycock" Joshua said bluntly, "Trust me, we haven't even reach the tip of this iceberg yet" said Pablo as he began to search for the next clip.
All right guys, I got another chapter up and running for the new year, so I hope it pleases you guys, and I don't got anything witty to share this time around so let's end things off like usual.
Be safe, be good people, be humble, and please support your local fandom communities, and any to all official releases.
This has been your Humble Narrator and official author Tobi Yaza. =3