Author's Note: The song featured here is clearly from the original Kipo show. I don't own it.
Kipo stared at the giant cats with confusion and worry. "Uh, guys, more mutes? Are these ones friendly or unfriendly?" She pointed at the crowd of plaid-wearing cats that carried axes on top of the crater she was standing in.
"There's an entire army of them packing axes." Wolf said. "What do you think?"
"Timbercats." Sonic said. "I've heard of them. A bunch of wild furballs that like lumber work. Though, I've never heard them stray so far from their territory. It's too close to Cactus Town and they're not exactly friendly with Umlaut Snakes."
"How do you know that?" Sonia asked. Unfortunately, her question wouldn't be answered.
"CHARGE!" one Timbercat yelled as he lead the rest of his gang down the side of the crater.
"Dave, you can fly!" Kipo yelled. "Fly us out of here!"
"All of you?" Dave asked.
"Not to worry, Dave!" Sonic said holding the hands of his siblings. "I'll take care of Sonia and Manic."
"You better not mess up my hair again!" Sonia said.
"And I can fly on my own." Tails said. He spun his two tails around like a helicopter and hovered off the ground with them.
"Whoa!" Kipo gasped in amazement. "That's so cool… and physically impossible!"
"All right!" Dave yelled. "I'll… Uh, oh." Suddenly, his muscular form withered and an elderly version of him popped out of his stomach. That old man then changed into a larval form with a cute baby face.
"Oops." Manic chuckled. "Yeah, that happens at the most inconvenient times."
"In that case, let's use lesson seven of the surface." Wolf said. "Know when to run!"
The gang quickly turned and ran. They dashed behind a large piece of rubble that the Timbercat charged past. The gang looked on watching as the Timbercats swung their axes at random places in the crater.
One of the Timbercats, Ruffles, screeched in disappointment. "The footprints led right here! The monster's gotta be here somewhere! Keep looking!"
Another Timbercat, a cute looking cat with large eyes named Shoelace McGutty, yelled out, "Tree stealer! Where are you hiding?"
That was when another Timbercat, one of white fur and blue eyes, crawled up above the other Timbercats. "We're wasting our time. Whatever it is, it's long gone by now."
"You can't know that for sure, Molly Yarnchopper!" Ruffles hissed.
"I know what I see. You think your tiny axes can stop the mega-mute that did all this?" Molly picked up a piece of wood with scratch marks on it.
Shoelace gasped at the sight of it. "That's from the Scratching Tree! Raise your axes for the Scratching Tree!" He and just about every feline there did just that.
"The Mega-Mute must have used our tree to make this crater." Molly said. "We're no match for a beast who could do that. Not with our leader gone. Not without Yumyan Hammerpaw."
"Guys," Kipo whispered to her friends, "The Mega-Mute that took their tree must be the same one that attacked my city. What if my people didn't get away? What if it took them?"
"That doesn't seem possible." Tails said. "Mega-Mutes aren't like mutes like us. They're big, mindless, and savage. Not as advanced as us. They don't really have the mindset to just take prisoners."
"But the Oracle did say that we have to follow the Mega-Mute." Sonia said. "I say it's worth a shot."
"But how?" Manic asked. "If this thing is big enough to take a big tree and use it to destroy a whole underground city, how do we fight it?"
"We could ask the Timbercats for help." Kipo said. "We do have a common enemy, and the Oracle did also say we have to make peace between humans and mutes. This might be a good start."
"Oh, Kipo, I hate to break it to you, but that Oracle is clearly nuts." Wolf said. "Humans and mutes don't get along. Mutes can barely get along with each other."
Kipo considered, but she impulsively jumped over the rubble. The hedgehogs became worried and followed.
"Hey, everyone." Kipo called out getting all the Timercats' attention. "So… I notice you cats are looking for the same Mega-Mute that we are. We should totally team up! And I know what you're thinking, 'humans and mutes don't mix'. But you know what I say? 'Peace between species'. What do you say?"
One of the Timbercats snuck up behind the hedgehogs and wrapped its furry arms around them.
"That's a no." Sonic said.
The whole gang was captured and put in a wooden cage with sand covering the floor. The Timbercats carried the cage all the way to their village carved in the middle of the forest. In between houses were gigantic yarn balls that were hanging by threads. By the time they were in the village, Dave had changed into his toddler form.
Sonia scooped up the sand she was sitting in with utter disgust on her face. "Ew! Would it kill them to at least give us their delux cage?"
"I think this is their delux cage." Sonic said.
"It ain't so bad." Manic said. "Not exactly a prison if there are Lincoln Logs for us to play with."
"Uh, Manic," Benson said nervously, "I don't think those are Lincoln Logs."
"If you had listened to me, we would've gotten away." Wolf huffed.
"Clearly, I just need to win these cats over." Kipo said. "It's just going to take some time."
The cage stopped and the door opened. "All out before the Scratching Tree." The gang stepped out only to gaze at the broken trunk of a tree. Dave quickly rushed over to his adult form only to remember that he was a prisoner.
"Uh… what Scratching Tree?" Sonic asked.
"Hey! That Scratching Tree is our way of life!" Shoelace yelled out.
"What do we do about these people?" Molly asked. "Should we eat them? We'd have to clean them first. They did come here in the litter."
"I say we bat them around with our paws until we get bored." Ruffles said.
"I wish Yumyan were here!" Shoelace lamented. "He's know what to do! He always knows what to do!"
"We eat them!" Molly repeated.
"Bat them!" Ruffles argued.
"Eat them!"
"Bat them!"
"Eat them!"
"Bat them!"
"There's only one way to settle this."
"CATERBRAWL!"
Suddenly, every Timbercat in the village went on a fighting frenzy. They hissed at each other trying to strike each other with axes. The gang kept dodging trying not to get hurt.
"Okay, I'm starting to think that these guys might not be stable." Benson said.
"It's not their fault." Kipo said. "They're just lost without their leader."
"NOOOOO!" Shoelace cried out in sadness which made everyone stop. "THIS ISN'T RIGHT! NOT WITHOUT YUMYAN!" Molly held up a piece of yarn to keep him distracted.
"Um, excuse me." Kipo said. "If you don't mind… Who is Yumyan?"
"This human keeps talking to us. Why?" Molly asked.
"'Who is Yumyan Hammerpaw?' He's the lord of the Timbercats." Shoelace answered. "Or at least, he was." He and the rest of the Timbercats looked upward in sadness.
"Oh, I see." Kipo said.
"Sorry about your loss." Sonic said.
"Farewell, Yumyan. I hardly knew you." Benson said.
"You never knew him." Sonia said.
Suddenly, a loud screech echoed through the village and a barrel flew in front of the gang. Looking upward, they saw a man-sized flea hopping from one tree to another going wild.
"What is that?" Kipo asked.
"Pierre, Yumyan's pet." Molly answered.
Pierre kept dashing around crashing through weak spots on trees. One tree was about to fall right on top of a Timbercat, but Sonic dashed in to push him out of the way just in time.
"OK, that tree was not stable. How come no one thought to chop it down? Does Yumyan have to remind us to do everything?" Molly asked. She then turned to Sonic. "And you, how did you move that quickly?"
"I've always been fast on my feet."
"Huh. That's interesting." Molly said.
"Uh, somebody still needs to get Pierre back on his leash!" Shoelace reminded. "Any volunteers?"
"We volunteer!" Kipo cried out much to the chagrin of every one of her friends.
"Seriously?" Sonia asked. "But I hate bugs."
"If we're getting out of here, sis," Manic said, "We're gonna have to do things that are uncomfortable."
The gang climbed up the tree which was right across where Pierre was. The flea stared down at the outsiders ready to strike. Kipo was holding onto a pink leash.
"I have half a mind to put that thing around your neck." Wolf said.
"Half a mind?" Sonic chuckled. "Someone's overestimating herself."
"Please, get along." Kipo said. "OK. On the count of three…" She didn't get to finish and everyone just charged right at Pierre. Sonic ran past him while most of everyone else was on top of him. Sonia tried to keep her distance.
During the battle, Kipo turned and noticed barrels of syrup and an empty bowl with Pierre's name on it. She picked up an axe and as Pierre went after her, she swung it at one of the barrels. Syrup shot out making a ginormous puddle which Pierre stopped at. The flea started slurping at the puddle while Kipo secured the leash around his neck much to everyone's amazement.
"Okay." Molly said. "Maybe we won't eat the humans or their gopher friends."
"Gopher?" Manic asked. "Fuzzball, I'll have you know that we are hedgehogs!"
"Hedgehogs?" Ruffles asked. "Hang on. Didn't Scarlemagne say he was looking for three hedgehog kids?" It was then that Manic regretted what he said.
"Hey, you're right." Molly said with a smile. "Isn't that interesting?"
"Oh, you better not!" Dave protested.
"What do we do now?" Tails asked.
"Uh… Listen." Benson said. "Before you do anything rash here, cats, can we discuss all this syrup you have? Because you haven't lived until you've tried my world famous flapjacks. Right Dave? Manic?"
"Oh, they're like magic." Dave agreed.
"Yep. Magic flapjacks." Manic said.
"Hmm… Flapjacks do sound good." Molly said.
Later that night, the gang was holed up in the kitchen stirring up the ingredients for their flapjacks. The ever so sneaky Benson found a really hairy cat keeping watch and swiped a handful of his hair without him knowing.
"What's that for?" Tails asked as he was stirring the batter with Wolf.
"We are cooking up more than sustenance." Benson said. "The cats eat this, they get nauxious, and we escape."
"Escape?" Kipo asked. "Makes sense. But wouldn't it make more sense to not escape?"
"Kipo, reality check." Wolf said. "They're going to trade us to Scarlemagne."
"Actually…" Sonic said, "They didn't quite say that. All they said was that they knew Scarlemagne was looking for us."
"Sonic's right." Kipo said.
"Kipo, here's another reality check." Wolf said. "Every mute we've met so far wants to take us to Scarlemagne."
"I didn't." Tails said. "I wouldn't lift one of my tails to help that psycho."
"Look, we'll just have to wait and be sure." Kipo said. "We'll serve them up some of my special Mister Flappy cakes. And if they do decide to give us to Scarlemagne, then, we'll do Benson's plan."
"Fair enough." Manic said. "Benson, Dave, let's keep the hairy flapjacks at the bottom of the pile."
Once they were done, the gang brought the plates over to the main dining area. Table after table surrounding a large throne that had nothing resting on it but an axe with guitar strings on it. Timbercats filled every other chair in the hall, but it was clear how miserable they were. A couple of them even brawled.
"Man, I kinda feel bad for these guys." Sonic said as he began serving flapjacks to the sad Timbercats. No matter how good they were, nothing could lift their spirits.
Molly sighed fixing her eyes at the throne at the center. "I keep thinking I'll blink, and magically, Yumyan will be here leading our dinner like he always does."
"I miss Yumyan." Ruffles said. "We should add his portrait to our dome of great Axe Lords!" He pointed up at a carved mural of proud Timbercat images towering over everyone.
"No!" Shoelace protested. "That's just for Axe Lords who are already gone! I'm not ready to hang up his axe."
"Wow." Sonia said looking up at the mural. "I never thought you cats would have your own culture."
"Nothing's as plain as it appears, hedgehog." Molly said. "Back to our original point… LET'S CARVE HIS FACE UP THERE!"
A loud uproar filled the hall. The Timbercats were in a loud argument with each other whether or not it was time to carve. Kipo looked on seeing the axe that sat in Yumyan's throne. With no one else watching, she climbed up and strummed its guitar strings. It was enough to stop the fighting and earn the shock and surprise of everyone there.
"That's Yumyan's guitar, human." Molly said scratching her claws into her table. "Nobody plays it, but him."
Sonic chuckled nervously. "Come on, guys. Wouldn't it be in honor of your passed on leader to play something for him?"
"Passed on? Whoever said that?" Shoelace asked. "He's just stuck up in a tree."
The gang widened their eyes in complete shock. They turned to Molly with confused looks.
"From the way you've all been acting, I thought he died." Manic said.
"Yeah." Tails said. "If he's alive and up in a tree, why don't you guys just climb up there and get him down?"
"He went above the canopy." Molly said. "No Timbercat has ever gone above the canopy."
"Then what was he doing up there in the first place?" Sonia asked.
"When the beast showed up to steal our Scratching Tree," Molly said, "Yumyan ran up there to fight him. But he never came back down."
"Seriously? Even though it'd dangerous above the canopy?" Sonic asked. "Man, this guy's got more guts every time I hear about him."
"Yeah, Yumyan sounds very brave." Kipo said. "You cats must have a lot of stories about him."
"Oh, that's not even half the legend." Molly said. She pulled out her banjo and began strumming it. Each note she played got her fellow felines excited and eager.
"Ooh! Can we join in?" Sonic asked summoning his guitar. "We're quite the musicians too."
"I don't see why not." Molly said as she kept strumming. "Just be sure to keep up with the rhythm."
The hedgehogs pulled out their instruments and began playing with Molly. Kipo played on Yumyan's guitar with them.
Molly Yarnchopper:
He was born with an axe in his fur
The toughest cat that you ever saw
Well, he can chop down a tree with just one swing
We call him Yumyan Hammerpaw
Timbercats:
Whoa
Whoa
We call him Yumyan Hammerpaw
Ruffles:
He could punch out a thousand grizzly bears
He's mighty tall at seven feet
Ruffles and Shoelace McGutty:
His beard is so tough, it gets in fights
His favorite food is luncheon meat
Timbercats:
Whoa
Whoa
His favorite food is luncheon meat
Yumyaaaaan Hammerpaw
Yumyaaaaan Hammerpaw
Kipo:
I hear Yumyan writes manly poems
About chainsaws, cranks, and gears
He also shoots lasers from his eyes
And puts out fires with his… tears
Kipo stopped playing when everyone stared at her with confused looks. "Oh. Were the lasers too much?"
"Just a bit." Sonic said.
"Eh, that would be awesome though." Molly said. "All right, everyone, let's wrap it up!" She wrapped up the song excitedly with everyone else.
Everyone:
YUMYAAAAAAN HAMMERPAW
YUMYAAAAAAN HAMMERPAW
Once the song ended, all the Timbercats laughed and cheered in excitement.
"I haven't had that much fun playing music in days." Ruffles said.
"Guess you kids ain't so bad after all." Molly said.
"Does that mean you won't trade us to Scarlemagne?" Benson asked.
"Trade you?" Shoelace asked. "Whoever said that? You guys have some poor listening skills."
"Wait, what?" Wolf asked.
"We were never going to give you to Scarlemagne." Molly said. "That guy's crazy."
"Then why were you so interested in knowing that he was after us?" Tails asked.
Ruffles answered, "Because we're…"
"DON'T!" Shoelace yelled out pouncing on his face. "That's not our secret to tell!"
"Shoelace is right." Molly said. "Sorry, kids, but only Yumyan has the right to tell you. But I can tell you this, we're not giving you to Scarlemagne."
"So only Yumyan can tell us and he's stuck in a tree." Sonic said. "What if we go on up there and get him down for you?"
"What?" Ruffles asked. "You can't be serious."
"No, for real, dudes." Manic said. "We're not as bothered by the canopy as you guys are."
Molly thought for a moment. "All right. If you guys can safely bring Yumyan down here, we'll be eternally grateful."
"That's the spirit!" Kipo cheered.
"One problem though." Ruffles said. "If a whole group is going up, they're going to have to limit their numbers. We only have enough rope to secure four people at a time."
"No problem." Sonic said. "What do you say, Kipo?"
"I'm certainly going." Kipo said.
"So am I." Sonia said.
"Me too." Manic said.
"All right then." Tails said. "The rest of us hold up the fort down here until you return."
"I cannot believe we're doing this." Wolf said rolling her eyes.
"I can't believe my hairball flapjack trick wasn't necessary." Benson said.
"There, there, Benson." Dave comforted. "I'm sure you'll use them to make someone throw up eventually."
"You're just saying that."
Kipo looked on upward to the canopy area and picked up an axe. "You up there, Yumyan? If I'm doing this, you better be."
Author's Note: That's the latest chapter. The reason I didn't use the original hairball scene is because I was always disgusted by it and I didn't want to describe it. I decided to rework it along with a special twist that I'm using later. Any and all comments are welcome.