Dear Readers, Hello :)

Thank you all for your kind words, comments and messages. I really enjoy reading them, it's inspiring and means a lot for me.

I'm sorry that I'm writing less often than usual, but I'm trying very hard to juggle everything. Anyway, the new chapter is here.

Enjoy reading! :)

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Chapter 24

It was hard to breathe, the air was thick, hot and seemed to be full with the smell of burning. He ran a hand through his sweat-soaked hair and walked on, not looking back. He didn't know why he was leaving, didn't know why he was doing this to her, and the curses she shouted angrily after him drove him harder than the wind at his back.

"I don't want to ever see you again! I hope a cannon ball lands right on you! I hope it blows you to a million pieces! I hate you! I hate..."

Rhett opened his eyes abruptly, not realizing at first where he was. He swept his eyes around the room, glancing at the emerald walls of their bedroom where the morning sunlight was already golden in its patterns.

"A dream... Just a dream..." a thought flashed through his mind and he lowered his gaze to the woman beside him as he felt a slight weight on his shoulder. He saw her black, soft curls lying lightly on the pillow beside him and on his chest, he felt her small palm, which she had laid on his chest at night, almost on the area of his heart, he felt her peaceful breathing and when he took a deep breath, he smelled not the burning, but her, so dear and so loved scent.

Calming his breathing, Rhett tried not to wake her, gently adjusting his slightly stiff arm. Watching her peaceful face, he ran his fingers lightly down her neck, down her back, feeling the thin lace of her nightgown. He felt his breath catch at the closeness of her.

Rhett didn't know how long it would last, but he knew he could hardly breathe without that feeling between them. He grinned slightly, just his lips, and realized that he'd fallen in love like a schoolboy, that he'd put everything on the line without any big trump cards up his sleeve, just his feelings, and somehow he'd won.

He frowned slightly at the thought, realizing that he wouldn't be able to keep this idyll forever. Wade's birthday had passed, June had come, and Ross looked at him almost every day with concern and reproach, as if to ask, "When?"

Rhett knew he just had to make up his mind, but he didn't know what to tell her. All the phrases seemed absurd, silly and lying. It was now that he regretted most that he hadn't confessed everything to her in Saratoga. "I could have won her heart," he thought, but realized that it was easy to jump to such conclusions now, when he knew about her real feelings to him.

There were so many fears he was afraid to admit, even to himself, and the most important of them was, "What if she doesn't forgive me?"

Rhett took a deep breath and shivered, his hand twitched slightly. He felt her move, brush her palm across his chest, then yawn, and then those same emerald green sleepy eyes, he loved to look into, looked at him, with that glow that made his heart beat faster every time.

"How long have you been watching me, Rhett Butler?" he heard a sleepy voice say and grinned.

"Long enough to notice by the look on your face that you were dreaming of something pleasant... You looked peaceful, Scarlett."

She smiled and was about to joke back, but suddenly she said, lying down on the pillow beside him and looking at the sunlight on the walls, "You know, I did have a nice dream, Rhett... I was in an estate... A white brick house with green shutters, flowering bushes. I thought I heard laughter in the dream, and I had a feeling I'd been there before..." she said, and Rhett was sad to think that perhaps it was her memories of her childhood home, which was now in ruins.

"It must have something connected with your estate, Rhett," she reasoned, smiling slightly, "I loved be there."

"In a couple of weeks the main bedrooms will be finished being redecorated and we can spend the summer there if you like," he whispered, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her close.

Scarlett was swept away in a warm wave, as she usually was when she felt his arms and hot breath.

"We should get up," he heard her soft whisper, but he knew he wasn't going to let her go just yet, leaving fiery marks on her velvet skin...

Later, Scarlett dressed thoughtfully and waited for Rhett to help her lace up her corset. At his standard question, "Is that enough, Scarlett?" she nodded quickly, realizing firstly that it was summer heat outside and she needed the air to breathe and secondly... She discreetly placed a hand on the soft muslin fabric of her pale dress, lightly touching her flat belly.

Scarlett suspected that Rhett and their bright, passion relationships would not go unnoticed, knowing that sooner or later she would become pregnant.

The idea of another pregnancy didn't exactly make her happy, even though she carried Ella without "much trouble", according to John's words, and he was a doctor. But the idea of having a child with Rhett excited her and made her curious.

Scarlett knew he wanted children. He loved Wade and Ella like his own, but once, in the darkness of their bedroom, when she was almost asleep, she heard him whisper softly, his confession that he dreamed of having a child with her. She pretended to be asleep at that moment and Rhett only kissed her tenderly on the shoulder...

Now Scarlett wanted to go to the doctor after breakfast, on the pretext of a reading circle. Then she would join Ross, Rosemary, Rhett and the children for a walk along the waterfront.

"And why do you have to go to that meeting today, Darling? Since when do you like reading so much?" joked Rhett as he watched her excitedly fix her hair in front of the hall mirror.

Scarlett showed him her tongue in the reflection and said, "I promised I'd come. Rosemary and Ross will be here soon so you can take the children, go to the waterfront and I'll find you there. I won't be long, I promise..."

She turned, walked over to him, kissed him on the cheek and just as quickly left the house, hurrying to the carriage.

"Well, Mrs Butler, congratulations, all the signs point to you being pregnant," Scarlett heard Dr Brown say after he had interviewed and examined her and his assistant (apparently his eldest daughter) had helped her adjust her dress.

She was sitting at a table in his study and the doctor, a stocky, grey-haired gentleman with sideburns, was asking her something and making notes in his notebook. She liked him, he had a pleasant voice and a kindly look, and he had been recommended to her by Mrs Butler, who knew that Scarlett had no connections in the city yet.

The doctor talked on, but Scarlett hardly heard him, for she was in a happy, excited state.

She nodded to his advices, but a slight smile remained on her lips, and everything inside her was turning upside down with joy and anticipation. She was already thinking about how she was going to tell the news to her obnoxious husband, knowing that he would be delighted... Despite their unconventional relationship, where they could fight, argue and make up within five minutes, Scarlett knew how much Rhett cherished her and the children, how much he tried to do everything for them. And now she wanted so much to give him the same feeling of joy and awe that she'd felt.

"I need to go home..." a strange thought flashed through her mind, but she just smiled to herself as she continued to nod impatiently at the doctor.

Dr Brown could see that his patient was overjoyed and could hardly sit still, he knew she could hardly hear him as she had a smile on her face. He was pleased to see the woman's reaction, for he had seen all sorts of cases in his profession.

In this case he saw a vivid emotional feeling.

Suddenly there was a knock on the study door and the assistant called out to him, apologizing. Dr Brown gave Scarlett an apologetic look and quickly walked out.

"What happened in there, Ellie?" came his stern voice.

"Father, there's an urgent matter. It's Mrs Kelly... Her baby... It started a little earlier and you know they need a doctor... Her maid had just come here. You'd better hurry!"

The doctor cursed quietly and asked a few more questions to her daughter.

Scarlett sat there in the stuffy study, looking at the wooden table covered with a green cloth, listening to snippets of conversation between the doctor and his assistant, and suddenly the flashes in her memory, like lightning in a thunderstorm, grew brighter and more frequent...

"The baby... There's a baby coming... They need help... It's hot, it's so hot... The baby... And home... She has to go home... To her mother... The baby..."

A violent flash... "Melanie... Melly... God, she could die... Ashley..." Another violent flash... "The doctor's not coming... The sound of a slap and a whimper..." Another flash... "We've got to get out of here... Rhett...I need Rhett! I need him... I'm going home!"

Scarlett felt a small shudder hit her, she was so frightened that her breathing became frequent, and for fear of losing her senses, she gripped herself with one hand to the other so hard that she left nail marks...

"Mrs Butler," the assistant's timid voice brought her back to reality. Scarlett turned to face her and heard, "The doctor had to leave, an emergency visit. He asked me to look after you. Did you come by your carriage?"

Scarlett could only nod in response.

"Are you all right? You look so pale... Would you like some water or lemonade? It's so hot today..." she heard the young lady's concerned voice.

"Water, please," she whispered and tried to smile.

While the doctor's daughter went to bring the water, Scarlett heard only the ticking of the clock in the corner and was afraid, madly afraid to open her mind to the memories. Like torrents of water, surrounding her house, they tried to rush in, through the doors, the windows, the roof, into her soul and consciousness. She tried to count, "One, two, three... God... Four... No... Five, six... I can't think... Seven..."

"Mrs Butler, your water," she heard a woman's voice from outside and with a slightly trembling hand she felt the touch of cold crystal against her warm palm. Such a familiar touch in this heat, like the touch of the cold metal of the gun Rhett had given her on the hot night they'd left the besieged city.

Memories flashed back vividly. His jokes, his dashing smile, his white suit... Her struggles and his comforting embrace... "I will go home! You can't stop me! I will go home!"

Scarlett desperately touched her forehead, her cheek and her hand went to her throat as the glass slipped from another hand and hit the parquet floor in the study, shattering into tiny shards.

"Oh... Mrs Butler, are you all right? Are you hurt? Now I'm going to have this place cleaned up and..." she heard the doctor's daughter's quick voice, but only replied in an alien voice, "I will go home... I have to go home, I'm sorry".

She didn't remember the coachman taking her home. As they trudged through the busy streets on that hot June day, Scarlett was physically there, but her memory replayed the hot night of the escape from Atlanta in every detail, making her shiver and her breath hitch.

Silence greeted her at home and Scarlett walked into the living room without stopping, saying curtly to the maid, "Water, please."

She couldn't sit down in the house, she couldn't breathe, the waves of memories were rising and carrying her further and further back in time.

Nervously, Scarlett walked through the French doors to the veranda and saw Gracie and the groom in the distance. "The horse... Horse..." she muttered to herself, and a memory flashed through her mind of that morning at the ruined Twelve Oaks, when she had cried at the realization that their horse was dead.

Her head was slightly dizzy, and desperately she touched the warm wall of their brick house, running her hand along it, and then suddenly stared at her white palm... The memory of her palm stained with soot and grime was already painting in her mind... Soot and grime...

Her head spun even more and she quickly sat down in the wicker chair, pressing her hand to her throat to keep from screaming.

She walked with her little son to her childhood house to ask for help. On the way she saw an apple under a wild apple tree in a grove, picked it up, quickly rubbed it on the fabric of her dress and handed it to Wade, who was whimpering with hunger. She was on her way to her mother, but she was a mother herself.

Scarlett remembered seeing something that made her heart break into a thousand pieces and a scream catch in her throat.

"This can't be real. It can't be. It's a nightmare. I'll wake up and find it's all been a nightmare," she repeated quietly, trying not to frighten Wade, who was walking nearby with an apple in his dirty little hands.

She repeated those phrases over and over, one hand pressed to her neck, trying to breathe, but she was desperately short of air. She couldn't breathe, as if she were in a nightmare, looking at Ellen's grave. She couldn't breathe where her mother's breathless body lay in the ground.

"We've got to get away, God, get away, get away, get away soon," she repeated to herself, afraid to look back at the ruins of her house. Her childhood house. The house where her parents had lived, where she'd fallen asleep as a child breathing in the scent of magnolia and honeysuckle outside the window, the house where she'd dreamed about Ashley..."

"Wade, let's go," she said in a hoarse voice as she saw her son coming closer. She was terribly thirsty and wanted to wash her face too...

"Mummy, where are we going? I'm scared..." Wade whispered.

"To the river, son. We need water," she replied, holding her son's hand and her other hand on her chest. Air was also desperately lacking.

"We only notice air when it starts to get scarce," a phrase, that Ashley had uttered at his last Christmas, in response to Aunt Pitty's complaints, came to her mind. She remembered not having paid much attention to the phrase at that time, but now she realized its meaning.

The river glittered in the distance and Scarlett remembered Ashley with anger.

"It's his fault! Him and his Melanie, making me stay with her! I would have defended the house and my mother! I wouldn't have let them die," she thought, breathing in the hot air harder and harder, turning redder and redder...

They came to a tree, a spreading willow, and Scarlett suddenly sat down exhausted on the grass and whispered, "Son, wait, I'll rest a bit and then I'll wash your face..."

She did not hear her son's answer, for in this hot air she suddenly remembered the wicked Rhett Butler and his speech, his laughter...

"I hate him, I hate him," she thought, almost delirious, running her hand over her damp forehead, "if he had come with us... If he had helped us... If he had been here... With me. I wouldn't be alone... He would have supported me. He would have stood by me. God, I hate him. I hate him. I hate him..." Her whisper faded into the rustling of the leaves and she closed her eyes, falling into the void.

"Your water, Mrs Butler," she heard a maid's voice as she stood beside a wicker chair. A carafe of iced water and a beautiful crystal glass were placed on the table in front of her.

Scarlett nodded, afraid to take a sip for she was overcome with nausea. For a moment she glanced at the armchair beside her, where he so often liked to sit... A look of resentment, disappointment and disgust froze on her face.

"Lies... Lies... All lies... All a game..." Scarlett repeated to herself, unable to fully comprehend what was happening. The feeling of betrayal began to brew rapidly in her soul, growing with each passing minute and threatening to flood everything around her in the tears she held back.

She could not remember how long she had sat on the veranda without taking a sip of water. She didn't notice the clouds, the breeze, the sky or the sunlight. The present had faded into the background, giving way to a past that had long been hidden from her...

Her hand reached for the glass again, and she even took it, but then she heard the laughter of children and adults coming from the house, and stood up abruptly.

She turned and walked slowly, on dizzy legs, towards the French doors with glass in her hands.She went very, very slowly, with an expression of shock on her face.

The first thing she saw was his broad back as he laughingly handed their little daughter to the nanny. Wade was standing next to Ross and Rosemary, about to go into the nursery.

They heard the rustle of her dress and Rhett turned to smile at her lovingly and happily, but something in her face frightened him so much that he froze in place with a wry smile on his lips.

The look in her eyes...

Scarlett was pale, very pale, and for some reason everyone in the living room fell silent.

Mary took one look at her pale mistress and quickly took Ella in her arms, quietly nudging Wade to leave the room. Everything was like a dream...

Rosemary didn't understand why she was suddenly afraid to open her mouth and greet her sister-in-law, and Ross kept his eyes on her, praying that his fears were not confirmed.

In that silence, which seemed like it could be cut with a knife, Scarlett walked over to her husband and placed her glass on the table.

Without saying a word, or allowing him to say anything, she swung round and slapped him across the face with all her might. The sound of the slap, like a whiplash, broke the silence, and then Rhett heard her desperate voice say, "I hate you, Rhett Butler!"