Hello world I'm back once again with another update, yay! I won't make promises as to when I'll be updating again but hopefully I won't be leaving it too long. Don't have much to say so I'll say goodbye and let you get on with reading. Hope you enjoy!
Disclaimer: I own nothing!
Chapter Twenty:
By Rosa241
Izzy's POV:
So slapping Karev definitely wasn't the brightest option.
Don't get me wrong slapping him felt great! Actually it felt freaking awesome but I know full well it's going to come back and bite me in the ass. Once Bailey finds out about this she's going to kill me. She's definitely going to string me up and tear pieces out of me. Which is why I'm steeling myself for this conversation.
The last thing I want to do is apologise to Karev but if I do then word will reach back to Bailey and she'll see that I'm taking the high road. She'll understand that I'm the one in the right here and then she'll let it go. Okay so maybe she won't just let it go but hopefully she'll go easy on me. Lord knows that I'm in enough trouble as it is. Thank you for that Karev.
It doesn't take long to find Alex. He's sat on the floor with his head in his hands.
Sitting on his ass as usual, how the hell does his still have a job here? If all he does is sit on his backside all day I'm surprised that he hasn't been fired before now.
Shoving my way through the chaos that seems to have suddenly appeared in the hallway I finally manage to get to him.
Seriously what is wrong with these people? Doesn't anyone have any work to do?
It's only as I finally manage to make my way towards him that I see Bailey standing there. Well isn't this lucky. Right now I can kill two birds with one stone. Taking a deep breath I put on the mask I've gotten so used to wearing lately.
"Alex we need to talk about what happened before." I've barely gotten the words out before I can feel something shifting in the air.
"Dr Stevens whatever this is about it can wait." I let up an inward cheer as I realise that Bailey has yet to discover my earlier confrontation with Alex. Shaking my head I power through and force myself to continue. I can't believe that I'm actually apologising to him after everything that he's put me through!?
"No offence Dr Bailey but it really can't. This needs…" I trail off as my eyes lift to meet hers, only it's not her eyes that I see. Instead my gaze travels across her shoulder to the room behind. Her face is visible for only a second before the white sheet is lifted to cover her tiny features.
Oh god…
Things seem to click in my brain and all of a sudden realisation hits me. Alex…
My eyes shoot back to the man hunched on the floor. For a moment I almost want to say something but words fail me. What can I say right now? Is there actually anything that I can say? Instead I shake my head and turn my attention back to Bailey.
"Actually this could maybe wait for another time." The words come out in a complete rush and I can't wait to get out of there.
George's POV:
You can't just forgive someone because they ask you to. Forgiveness has to be earned George.
Merediths words keep coming back to me and I can't help but sigh. Of course she's right. I really messed up bad when I yelled at Alex. After everything Izzy has put him through I should have been more supportive. The more I think about it the more I realise just how unfair I've been to him. Since Izzy has realised her wrongs she's been trying to put them right and I've been giving her the benefit of the doubt. She screwed up but now she's trying to fix things. If I can give Izzy the benefit of the doubt why have been so harsh on Alex?
Izzy has put him through hell lately and the more recent events run through my brain the more I realise just how amazingly he's handled it all. A few months back he probably would have exploded by now but somehow he's managed to keep his cool. Did I seriously just expect him to let everything go? Seriously what is it that I was expecting? For him to just say:
"Don't worry about it. You've only blamed me for your mistake, treated me like crap and bad mouthed me to the hospital but don't worry about it. All's forgiven."
What is the matter with you George? You can forgive Izzy for everything she's done but you can't accept that Alex is going to be mad at her for it. Get your head together O'Malley.
Anyone with half a brain can see that evil spawn is basically in love with you…
Of course that's the other thing that's been keeping my brain running. Is Christina really right? Does Alex really feel that way for me?
I think your feelings for Alex might not be a one way thing…
It seems like months ago now that Meredith had let that slip. Alex had woken up mere moments afterwards and in all the confusion I'd forgotten about it. By the time I had remembered I'd been so worked up with everything going on with Izzy that I haven't really thought too much about it.
I've had feelings for Alex for a while now but I never dreamed that he'd feel the same way. The truth is I think I've always felt something for him. I met Callie and that disappeared but since the divorce things have come back full force. What if he does feel the same way? Before I can even think about it the door opens and the object of my thought enters the room.
"Hey Al-" He doesn't even acknowledge me as he rushes through the room. Within seconds I hear his door slamming and something inside me forces my body into action. After living with Alex I learnt very quickly that he does one of two things when he's angry. Either he gets drunk or he vents, by which I mean that he rants and raves for a few minutes in an effort to calm him down. I barely saw him for a minute but I'm fairly certain there were tears in his eyes when he rushed past me.
It takes several minutes before I finally make up my mind and wander over towards his room. I hesitate but eventually I decide to knock on the door.
Alex POV:
She was just a kid…
I don't even know her name…
She's dead and I don't even know her name…
She died without a name…
That thought strikes me deeper than anything else. I've lost patients before of course I have, I'm a doctor and (as sad as it is) death is a part of my job. But this…not like this…
That girl was so tiny, her body battered by the car and stained with blood. No one should ever have to suffer like that. She was just a tiny kid…
Every time that I close my eyes I can see her tiny body rolling over the car. Every time that I close my eyes I can see the anguish on the drivers face as he spies her tiny body. The screeching of the cars breaks run through my mind over and over again. A knock on the door interrupts my thoughts.
"Alex?" Shaking my head I finally manage to shake the images rattling around my brain. "Alex are you okay?"
"Go away O'Malley." I hate myself for the way my voice shakes as I speak. Pull yourself together Karev.
"Alex are you alright?" I shake my head before realising that he can't see me. It takes a moment before I feel able to trust my voice once again.
"I'm fine now get lost." For a few moments everything goes silent and I fear that he's gone. As much as I don't want to see anyone right now another part of me doesn't want to be alone. Something in my body is crying out for someone to be here with me.
"Alex…" He trails off as he opens the door. Apparently I've forgotten to lock it. "What's wrong?"
I shake my head as tears come back to my eyes and for a moment he stands awkwardly at the door.
Man up Alex!
"What happened? Did something happen with Izzy?" After many moments of silence he finally gives up the awkward tension and comes to sit on the bed beside me. "Alex?"
"Lost a patient." I finally venture. Quite why I'm telling him I don't know but for some reason the words are spilling out.
"That's awful." He says nothing but places a comforting hand on my shoulder. "What happened?"
"She was hit by a car. Driver tried to stop but she just stepped out into the road. There's no way that he could have avoided hitting her." It's true I know it. As terrible as I feel I can't imagine how awful that poor guy must be feeling right now. He's always going to remember it, it's going to haunt him for the rest of his life. I can feel the tears building in my eyes once more as the accident replays over and over in my mind. Honestly right now I don't how the power to stop them from falling down my cheeks. "She was just a kid."
Through my tears I can feel him pulling me into a hug which I allow. As his arms wrap around me I can't help but allow the dam to finally burst. I sink into the hug as the tears pour from my eyes.
She was just a kid…
And I think I'll leave it there for now. Poor, poor Alex. He's been through so much, will George be able to help him to heal? Well stay tuned and you'll find out.
Bye bye