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Chapter Twenty One:
By Rosa241
Alex POV:
What the hell is wrong with me?
Seriously Karev what were you doing?
I can't believe that I just sat there and cried my eyes out on him! What the hell was I thinking!? That's such a turn on right?
It's not like it was even a big deal. I think to myself as I take another mouthful of my coffee. I've said it to myself enough over the last few hours that I'm actually starting to believe it. Not really though. It is a big deal.
She was just a kid. Just a tiny, innocent kid whose life was wiped out right in front of me. Something inside me twinges at the thoughts of that tiny body rolling over the bonnet of the car. Feeling my stomach start to twist at the image in my mind I force my thoughts away from the events of yesterday. Not that they'll stay away for long though. Those images will be back in a few minutes, the image of that poor girl-
Stop it!
Think of something else.
Anything else.
Just…
Just think of something.
"Morning Alex." O'Malley's voice rips through my mind and causes me to jump three foot into the air.
Giving him little more than a grunt in response I swallow down the rest of my coffee, managing to choke as I did. His eyebrows raise at my actions and I can feel the blush making its way across my face.
Get a grip Alex for the love of god.
Shaking my head in an attempt to rid myself of the thoughts racing through my head I force my eyes back onto O'Malley.
"Morning." Short and to the point. You can't go wrong there.
"Are you alright?" Why do you have to ask that? Why can't you just not care?
"Fine." I snap as I grab my jacket off the hook by the door.
"Alex." His hand on my arm stops me in my tracks. "You don't have to lie to me. You don't. Last night…last night you were kind of a mess. I saw how distraught you were and lets face it that's hardly a surprise. After what happened I can't blame you for being upset, anyone would be."
He's right. My traitorous mind supplies. Anyone would be upset after watching a child die.
Before I can process his words fully he speaks again.
"Alex you lost a kid. How can-" Spinning round I face him with fury echoing across my face.
"I lost a kid. I didn't lose a kid O'Malley she died. I wasn't my fault. I didn't do anything other than try to save her life." He reels back as I press forward, practically pinning him to the wall.
"No Alex I didn't-" Cutting him off I don't let him respond.
"That girl died because of a freak accident so don't you stand there acting like I'm somehow responsible cause I'm not. I did everything that I could and more so back off! I didn't lose a kid, a kid died." I don't let him speak before I turn round and race out of the door. Storming down the road in front of me one thought rolls around my mind.
I didn't lose a kid.
It wasn't my fault.
George POV:
Stepping away from Mrs Hascall I can't help but sigh. It's been two days since Alex's outburst in the hallway and he's barely even looked at me let alone talked to me. I keep telling myself that it was nothing and that he'll come round. The more I think about it the more I worry about the things I said. I was only trying to help.
You lost a kid…
I told him he lost a kid but he didn't. I've heard what happened that night, the gossip chain running round the hospital had been at full flow since then. He worked so hard on her, worked so hard to keep that precious little girl alive but to no avail. Bailey had once told me that sometimes there really isn't anything that we can do. It's hard to understand and seems completely unfair but sometimes there really isn't anything that we can do. The human body can only take so much before it snaps.
You lost a kid…
Once again I opened my mouth and inserted my foot as far down my throat as I can. What the hell is wrong with me? Things were going so well between me and Alex before I decided to open my mouth and become a complete moron.
"Whatever, you know you're wrong." I hear a familiar voice chuckle as I round the corner. Stopping in my tracks something courses through me as I spy the man of my thoughts laughing. Laughing and smiling. He's barely looked at me in two days and there he is just…laughing and smiling. For some reason anger rages through my body and forces me to step forward.
He's put me through hell these last two days and he's just standing there smiling with Sloan. What the hell's that all about?
Stepping over towards the pair my anger continues to rage.
"So that's it huh? You've basically ignored me for two days because you took something I said the wrong way. I didn't mean to imply that you were at fault for what happened. You know that I didn't mean it like that. It was just a turn of phrase, just…just the way that it came out. Of course I know that you did everything you could." What started out as an angry rant ends up as a pleading, almost begging, kind of apology. After several moments of tense silence he tears his eyes away from the chart he's holding and glances towards me for the briefest of seconds.
"Yeah whatever." With that he turns his back to me completely and walks away, leaving me stunned into silence.
What the hell was that about? Seriously what just happened?
"You're a damn idiot O'Malley." Sloan hisses as he shoves past me, heading in the opposite direction to Alex.
What the hell just happened?
Mark POV
By the time this ridiculous day is over I've almost forgotten about my little problem. Since losing that girl Karev has put on this brave face which has somehow managed to fool a lot of people. From the pitiful looks Bailey had been sending his way she wasn't buying it any more than I was.
He watched a little girl get hit by a car and then watched her die. That's not okay. Anyone would be well within their rights to not be okay right now but he's acting like it never happened. You can't do that. You can't just pretend that things don't happen and hope that the hurt will go away. I've done that before, well I mean to say I've tried that before. I can safely say it didn't work. Karev is not okay and the sooner he starts accepting it the better.
Then of course there's O'Malley. He's so blind it's almost funny. Almost. It'd be hilarious if it weren't for the fact that it's so pathetic. The man just doesn't see what the problem is. Anyone in this hospital, with the notable exception of Stevens, could clearly see that O'Malley and Karev were seriously into each other. We all know about it. Alex won't ever do anything about his feelings and if O'Malley wasn't so blind then he'd know why.
Confidence.
Most people see Karev as being confident but I can tell you he's not. I've been in his position enough to see through all the bravado that he's putting up. He's not confident at all. He seems it, comes across as being cocky and over confident but he isn't. There's a reason no doubt. Meredith's mentioned something about his family before but I don't think I ever really took it in.
Might have to ask her about that one.
Karev won't do anything about his feelings because he doesn't think there could ever be a way that O'Malley would feel the same way. For some reason he doesn't think that he's worthy of it.
Standing at the door I scrub a hand over my face knowing full well that what I'm about to do is so stupid it's basically asking for an ass kicking.
If I just confront Karev I'll probably end up with a black eye for my trouble, either that or he'll never talk to me again. No if I'm going to get this dealt with I'm going to need to be sneaky, I'll need to be subtle…I'll need help. Smirking to myself I take out my phone and dial the familiar number.
"Hey Mark."
"Hey Mer. Listen, I'm going to need your help..."
And that's your lot. Okay I'll sincerely apologise now for leaving it so long but (as I'm sure you teachers out there will know) this teaching lark is seriously time consuming. Between the planning, the marking, the assessing, the freaking observations and the actual teaching…well I've got just about enough time to eat and sleep before the whole thing starts all over again. I've finally managed to find some time between eating and sleeping to get writing. It's a right royal pain in the backside because I've had millions of ideas in my head of where to take this but no time to write them down. Anyhow…
I'll love you and leave you with the promise that I'll update as often as I can but I can't promise when that'll happen (hopefully I find time again within the next week or so).
Hope you enjoyed it.