I'm back! Woohoo! Okay so let me start off by saying a belated merry Christmas and a belated happy new year! I managed to break my laptop and have only recently been able to afford a new one (laptops are expensive man!). I hope this comes across the way that it was intended – I really hope you enjoy it!

Disclaimer: I own nothing

Chapter Twenty-Nine
By Rosa241

Alex POV:

Okay so this is a totally and completely stupid idea.

The worst I've ever had.

Literally of all the bad ideas in my life this is the one that I'm going to regret the most.

Despite my internal monologue I can't quite seem to tear myself away.

Coming here was a mistake.

Just turn around and walk away.

Although my head screams at me to walk away my hand acts of it's of volition and knocks on the door anyway. It takes a minute for the man to answer and not for the first time my head screams at me to just book it. Take off and run!

He hasn't answered yet. He's probably asleep, or in the shower or…

"Alex?" It takes a moment for my mouth to finally start working after Mark answers the door. When it finally does I find myself saying the words I don't think I ever have.

"I need to talk."

He ushers me in and I almost turn and run right there. What the hell is wrong with me? Man up! It's just talking I can do that, I can do that.

But it's not just talking.

I don't do this. I don't seek out people for help. Ever since I was a kid the one thing that I've always known is that I was better dealing with crap by myself. No one would be able to help so I had to deal with it alone. But this thing with George. All this stuff is so out of control and I don't know where to start. Mark's words have been on a loop for weeks now and I can't get them out of my head.

I don't get why you're not good enough for him, whatever happened is your business and clearly you're not ready to share but you're definitely wrong.

I've been told I was wrong before, plenty of times believe me, but about this? No way! No one ever told me I was good enough, no one ever said I was the right person and honestly I don't blame them. I'm hardly anyone's dream guy. You're definitely wrong. How could he be so determined he was right?

I don't understand how you can possibly believe all that stuff you said.

He was telling the truth. After I told him what was in my head, all the chaos about George, he just flat out told me I was wrong. No beating around the bush just straight up 'you're wrong'. He actually doesn't see what I see. Maybe that's a good thing…

You're not pushing me away. You can try as hard as you want but I'm not going anywhere.

He'd said this after I get angry at him for sticking his nose in. People don't stick around for me. All my life I've been the one that had to be in charge, the one who got hurt but no one cared. I took care of my mom, my brother and my sister but they can't be there for me. Meredith has been but Marks' the first person whose promised me something like that.

If you ever want to talk then you know where to find me.

He's said it a few times since that late night phone call but I never thought too much about it. I never let myself dwell on it but now? I can't keep this up. All this stuff with George is rattling around my brain and I can't think straight anymore. I need to talk to someone. I know I could lean on Meredith, that she'd tell me straight but not with this. She's been friends with George for longer than she and I have been friends. She's too involved in the outcome here.

What if he was lying? What if he walks away?

"Alex?" Shaking my head I pull myself out of my brain and turn my attention back to the older man. "Something wrong?"

"I don't know what to do anymore. All this crap with George is running around my head and I swear to god I can't think straight anymore. I thought if I just ignored him that he'd get bored and walk away like everyone else but he won't back off. I don't know what to do." As soon as the words have left my mouth I can feel my heart almost come to a halt as I wait for him to talk. Was this a mistake?

"O'Malley was never going to get bored. He likes you too much for that." Sighing I drop onto his couch. "But he will give up eventually if you don't get your act together. He won't wait for the rest of his life."

His statement hits me hard and I find myself both relieved and heartbroken at the thought. Part of me wants George to give up and walk away but the other part of me clenches at the idea of losing him.

"I'm torn. I mean if he gave up then I wouldn't have to deal with this anymore, problem solved! But then…" Trailing off I'm not quite ready to say the words just yet.

"But you care about him. You're so determined to be miserable that you won't let someone close to you who wants to be part of your life." Wait.

"I am not-"He cuts me off as I attempt to defend myself.

"Yeah you are. You are so determined not to let yourself be hurt that you're willing to push away anyone who wants to be close to you. The minute someone starts to care about you up come the walls and you push them away. It's like you want to be unhappy, which begs the question."

And here it comes.

Why are you worth my time?

Why should I bother?

Why even try?

"What the hell happened?" Okay wait…what?

Mark POV:

"What the hell happened?" I can't claim to be the best judge of character and Alex has enough walls to survive a nuclear holocaust but from the surprise I can see on his face I don't think he was expecting me to say that. "What hell crossed you in your past that you would rather be miserable for the rest of your days than let someone be close to you?"

He says nothing but I can tell that he wants to. He wants to talk to me but something is stopping him. Probably the same something that stops him jumping into a relationship with O'Malley. But what? What was that bad that it did so much damage?

"A lot." He finally breathes after a long silence. "A lot happened."

"Talk to me." Taking a seat next to him on the couch I turn to face him. "Talk."

"I wouldn't even know where to start." He lets out with a sigh as he drops his head into his hands.

"Wherever you want." We land into silence for a few more minutes before he finally takes in a deep breath and sits up properly. When he stands from the couch I almost think that he's going to bolt but instead he moves to stand near the window and gazes down onto the street.

As I watch him a thought comes into my mind? Has he ever told anyone about this before? Has he ever talked about it at all? I know that he's talked to Meredith but from what I got out of her it's little bits and pieces that he's dropped over the years. Has he ever sat down and actually talked to someone. I'm so engrossed in my thoughts that I almost miss when he starts talking.

"My father was a musician. I remember going to see his band play when I was little and from what I remember he was pretty good too. I mean they were never going to be the beatles or nothing but they were good. He was a musician and that came first, before his wife or his kids he was a musician…and everything that came along with it." I almost open my mouth before thinking better of it. If I talk I might just make him stop. "He was a heroin addict. A full blown heroin addict and an alcoholic as well. I can't count the number of times he stumbled through the front door at all hours of the night out of his mind."

What must that have been like?

How hard must that have been to watch?

Being a kid and watching your father slowly kill himself.

"What happened to him?" I finally say after a breath of silence.

"No idea. He took off when I was a teenager." Drug addict, alcoholic father who upped and left. Nice.

"What about your mother?" I can see the brief smile cross his face at the mention of the woman who gave birth to him before it slips off into nothing.

"She was always happy, smiling, singing…even when my father was off his ass. Then that all changed. Not all at once but over time she just started to change. She just became this shell, this ranting crazy shell of the person she once was." What on earth… "My mother was schizophrenic. Untreated for a lot of years."

After that he drops into silence and it's clear that he's said all that he's going to say. I can't see his face anymore since he's dropped his eyes to the floor but I don't have to see him to understand the turmoil that's probably going through him right now. For a while neither of us says anything. I'm too busy trying to digest all that I've learned tonight and god only knows what's going on inside Alex's mind right now. There are so many questions that are rattling around my head right now.

If his mother was ill and his father an addict then who took care of him?

What happened to his mother? Is she still alive?

Where's his father now?

All these questions are running around my brain but I don't dare ask them. You don't have to be a brain surgeon to work out that coming here and opening up probably took everything that he had in him. Something within me sparks at the realisation that he talked to me about this so that's the train of thought that I lead with.

"Why tell me this? What made you come here and tell me all of this?" Turning to face me he simply shrugs his shoulders and I can see that he means it. He honestly doesn't know why he told me or why he came tonight but I'm glad that he did. Watching him for a minute I can see that panic in his body as he waits for my next move. What the hell do you do in this situation?

"I don't know about you but I need a beer." As I move to the kitchen I swear I see him sigh in relief.

George POV:

"Hey. Can I sit?" Izzy sounds almost sheepish as she stands next to me at the table. Meredith is out with Derek and Cristina's at the hospital. I know that I moved out and at first I was so glad that I had but right now I regret that choice. The apartment has become so tense that I begged Meredith to let me stay in my old room for the night. I just need a break from him.

"Sure." She takes a seat as she sips her tea. "Is everything okay?"

"Yeah it's just…" I trail off not wanting to start an argument. She hates Alex and I know that she'll just start yelling at me if I open up.

"It's an Alex thing right? I swear I won't get mad George, I hate seeing you so upset. Talk to me, please." For a moment I hesitate but ultimately I want to get it all out. I need to talk.

Her face never changes as I fill her in on everything that's happened between me and Alex lately. Her frown drops as I talk and I can see the wheels working in her head. I can tell that she's dying to say something but to her credit she waits for me to finish before she speaks. When she finally talks she says something I'm not sure I was expecting to hear.

"I'm so sorry George." What? "If I hadn't been such a bitch then maybe this wouldn't have happened. You'd have talked to me sooner and I could have stopped you being hurt."

"What are you talking about?" Shaking her head she sips her tea again.

"No. I'm not the person you should be taking advice from. You know how I feel about Alex." As much I agree with her my curiosity gets the better of me.

You know what they say, curiosity killed the cat.

"Alright look." She begins after much insistence. "This is exactly what happened between me and Alex. We got together, everything looked fine and then he cheated on me. For a little while I thought that we could be together, that we'd be happy, but the he cheated on me and destroyed that. Isn't that what he's doing to you?"

"He's not cheating on me. Actually he was right. I've got no right judging him for talking to Mark when I've talked about it with Meredith. And now with you." And lord help me if I don't feel just a little bit of guilt here.

"Come on George. This is Alex! Is he the kind of person that opens up to someone and has deep meaningful conversations?" Well no but… "And if he was going to talk to someone wouldn't it be Meredith? Those two have some kind of connection after all. But come on Mark Sloan? Since when were those two friends?"

As much as I want to deny it she kind of has a point. Alex and Sloan aren't exactly the best of friends. Why not talk to Meredith? Why chose Sloan? Why chose the biggest man whore this side of…

Oh.

Wait what am I thinking!?

Alex and Sloan aren't together.

They're friends.

"You're wrong. Nothing's going on." She simply shrugs her shoulders and sends me a sad smile as she stands up.

"We have an early shift, sleep sounds good." As she makes her way up the stairs I shake my head again.

She's wrong…

Isn't she?

So before anyone asks yes there is still plenty more that Alex needs to tell Mark about. We all know the true horrors of Alex's past but at present Mark doesn't know. Alex doesn't trust him fully with that information. We've seen from the show that Alex doesn't like talking about his past and definitely doesn't trust others easily. Trusting someone else with his past? Not easy. Mark will of course find out the truth but not quite yet. Alex isn't ready. Some of you may think that it's out of character for Alex to open up to someone like this but I think he's at a point where he finally needs to open up to someone.

Izzy's sticking her nose in once again. George is already jealous of Mark but will he let Izzy's scheming get the better of him? I hope not.

Until next time,

Bye.