Alex: Okay lady let me just get this straight. Since the last time I was here George and I finally kissed but still aren't together, Izzie hates my guts and Sloan's now my best friend. What the hell?

Well strictly speaking Izzie hated you before you left. She's just…a little more vocal about it now.

Alex: THAT's what you take from that!?

Okay if you have a problem with my writing-

Alex: A problem!? A damn problem!? Lady it's been thirty chapters! Thirty! Thirty chapters and we're still not a couple. There's slow burn and then there's just plain snail paced.

I have a plan, kind of…well there's a blue print somewhere…or that least there was a blue print at some point…Where is that?

Alex: How do you still have readers?

*Glares* Are you looking to get stabbed because I could do that?

Alex: She owns nothing!

Chapter Thirty-One:

By Rosa241

Mark POV:

Lying on the couch watching a football game used to be one of my favourite past times. Just hanging out by myself relaxing with an ice cold beer…there's not a lot that I love more than that. Right now however I can't focus on what's in front of me. The beer in my hand has gone warm, I couldn't tell you what's happening in the game and relaxing has never been further from my mind.

"He was a heroin addict. A full blown heroin addict and an alcoholic as well."

I can't imagine what life must have been like for him. Living with an alcoholic drug addict for a father must have been nothing short of hell on earth.

"He took off when I was a teenager."

Does Alex even know where his father is?

How long since they last spoke?

What happened to make him leave?

I've never been close to my parents but I can't imagine them not being there. Not being part of my life. Sure we could talk more and I could probably visit them more often but they're still there. We're a family. Not having them is something I can't even begin to think about.

"My mother was schizophrenic. Untreated for a lot of years."

Schizophrenia is a horrific, nightmare of a disease. I've only seen it a couple of times to be truthful. Even with the drugs, counselling and support it takes years before those who are unlucky enough to suffer from it can come through the other side. What's worse is that some don't even then. Some of them don't ever come through it with every bit of support on their side. To not have that support, to have to struggle along without even a diagnosis. How hard must that have hit them? And Alex was just a kid if what I understood was true. Just a child...just a child and having to deal with all that?

How the hell is he here?

How did he survive all that and wind up becoming a doctor?

My respect for Alex has always been higher than many of the other younger doctors in that place. Hearing all that only made me respect him more. There's just one thought running through my brain as I try again to focus on the screen in front of me. It's the same thought that's been hovering through my brain for days now.

What else didn't he tell me?

George POV:

I've never really had trouble sleeping. Ever since I was a kid I was always able to sleep through the night. As a matter of fact according to my parents I was the easiest out of my brothers to deal with because I slept so easily. Lying awake at night has never really been something I've had to deal with. Which is why it's so frustrating when it happens.

"Just stop thinking about it." I mutter to myself as I roll over once again in a desperate attempt to fall asleep. Closing my eyes I can't help the image flash in my brain once more.

I'd been just leaving the hospital when it happened. Alex had not long arrived for his shift was changing in the locker room when I arrived. For the last few weeks we've been on separate shifts and, although I know that it's just the way things have worked out, part of me thinks it's deliberate. We've been avoiding each other for the last few weeks now. It's almost like things have gone back to the way that they did before he got sick. It's just like it used to be.

And I hate it.

I hate every minute of it.

Things were going along so well and after our kiss I really thought that we were going to make it work. For a few hours I was on cloud nine. Then it all went to hell and it happened so quickly. I still don't understand why Alex avoided me after our kiss but I do know that it hurts.

"We got together, everything looked fine and then he cheated on me."

As much as I don't want to think about it I can't help Izzie's words running through my brain. She's wrong. Alex and Sloan aren't together they're friends. They're just friends. I know that. I know that's true. The two of them get along is all. I can't say that it's not about time that Alex had someone he could turn to. We've all got people we can rely on and now so does he. It's a good thing. It is.

Then why do you hate it so much?

My traitorous mind supplies the thought that's keeping me up at night. Obviously nothings going on between them, I mean it's obvious they're friends…right?

What if they're not just friends?

What if there is something between them?

With Izzie's words floating round my brain I just know that it's going to be another sleepless night for me.

Izzy POV:

It's not the first time lately that I've found myself sitting in the kitchen nursing a cup of tea in the early hours. Unfortuanately it's happened far too often lately. Part of me wants to put it down to the time of the month or basic insomnia but I know differently. There's one thing keeping me up right now and that's guilt.

George really cares about Alex. I thought at first it was a little crush that he would get over in a few months but now I'm not so sure. He has this look in his eyes when I catch him staring at the other male. At first I couldn't place why it seemed so familiar to me. I'd find myself staring at him without knowing why. Now I do. It's Meredith. When she looks at Derek she has this look in her eyes, this sparkle that lights her up. George has the same look when he stares at Alex.

It's that look that scares me the most.

Alex isn't good for people. He's toxic. Everything that he touches shrivels and fades away. His mere presence is a black cloud that hangs over the rest of us. For a while he fooled me into thinking that we could be a real normal couple. That dream quickly ended. He cheated on me and broke something within me. He made me care about him, he got me to believe in him and then he broke me. Something in me cracked when he hurt me and it's still cracked now.

I never had anyone to stop me from falling for him. I wish I had. It's because I've been there that I know that I need to stop this from happening. I have to stop George from falling for that man, from really falling for him. Stopping him from getting hurt is more important than anything.

Even more important than the truth?

Deep down I know that Alex and Sloan aren't together. Anyone thinking clearly could see that. George however isn't thinking clearly and as such he isn't able to see. Right now he's looking at the world through Alex coloured glasses and he's not seeing things as they are. I have to break this before he'll see the truth. When I finally do he'll be grateful, sure he might hurt for a while but in the end he'll thank me.

He'll thank me…

Alex: Still no relationship? You're just driving us further away!

I know what I'm doing.

Alex: I seriously doubt that.

*Narrows eyes* I can still stab you, you get that right?

On a serious note though I swear I'm not trying to drag this out. My initial plan had to be scrapped as I realised that I wasn't going to be able to do it justice and I had to change track. In order to change things I've had to back track since I was already about 15 chapters in by this point. It's for this reason that this has been going on for a long time. However I am turning things round and the end is in sight…I mean it's a ways off in the distance but I can sense it there somewhere.

I kind of wanted to show a different side to Izzie. She's truly under the impression that she's doing the right thing which is what's scary about her. In her mind she's helping George even if it means hurting him.

Until next time,

Bye x