Woo! I'm back! Damn I'm getting good with these updates.

Alex:…

Mark: Lady I think he's still broken

Okay so whilst Alex is off being broken how about we talk Mark. I feel like we don't get to talk much.

Mark: That would be because I barely ever make it up here.

Well maybe if you were as awesome as you were last chapter then you'd be up here with us more regularly.

Mark: Wait! You write the damn stuff! You could make me as awesome as you want, if I'm not it's because you choose to make me like that.

Um…Alex want to do the disclaimer?

Alex:…

Wow I really broke him. I own nothing!

Chapter Thirty-Four

By Rosa241

George POV:

Ever since we started here we've made it our mission to sit together and eat lunch whenever we can. Even if all we get is a few minutes together that little bit of normalcy in an otherwise chaotic day sometimes makes the difference. Of course, hospitals being as they are, we don't always get that chance. Since Sloan's late-night visit three weeks ago I've barely had the chance to even see the others let alone have lunch with them. Now that I have however…

They look as bad as I feel.

Meredith has been relatively quiet over the past few weeks. Admittedly I haven't had the chance to see her as often as I would have liked but when I have seen her she's been quiet. Something Sloan said that night got to her. I just wish I knew what it was. I know that her and Alex have always been closer than he was to the rest of us but something about this has her shaken.

Izzie has, to my surprise, said nothing about Sloan's words or my feelings for Alex. It's strange. She's been so vocal over the last few months and now she won't say two words. I still can't believe it. I really thought she was trying to look out for me. In reality she's been trying to sabotage things for her own selfish end. I don't know how I'm going to forgive her for this. I really don't.

As for Christina, well…

Christina has just been Christina. Out of all of us she's stayed out of the whole thing. I thought at first she wasn't interested, which deep down I don't think she really is, but maybe there was more to it. She kept out of it and is the only one of us who hasn't messed things up with Alex.

We've tried apologising to him of course we have. He doesn't want to listen. To be perfectly honest I can't say that I blame him though. He isn't the kind of person who trusts easily and to think that he finally found himself able to trust us, only for us all to go and shatter that. I can't blame him for being angry at me. I'm angry at myself. More than angry actually. I'm so damn furious at myself for being so stupid. How couldn't I see what Izzie was doing? Why didn't I listen to what Alex had said? He actually told me that he didn't see himself as being good enough and I still didn't hear it! Why?

Meredith and I had tried apologising last night but it hadn't gone well.

Flashback:

"Oh for the love of-" He releases a tired, and somewhat angry sigh, as he opens the door. We must be the last people he wants to see right now. "What the hell do you two want?"

"We want to apologise…again." I say before he has chance to slam the door. Please listen. I have to make him see how sorry I am. "I screwed up. I don't know why I listened to Izzie so much. I can't explain it. Please Alex please understand how sorry I am."

"You trusted me. You trusted me with your past and I let you down." Alex's eyes stray to me as she talks and, not for the first time, I find myself wondering what happened to make him the way that he is. "I know that saying sorry doesn't fix that but I'm trying here. I can't change what I did but I can tell you that I was wrong."

"Are you done?" As I nod my head I shouldn't be surprised at the slamming of the door in my face.

End Flashback

He's more than angry.

He's hurt.

We hurt him.

When Alex is hurt he lashes out. He gets angry. I'd learned this before now but being on the receiving end is a lot more painful than I'd realised.

How do I get you to forgive me?

Mark POV:

Getting Merediths call last night didn't surprise me. Neither did what she had to say either, at least not at first.

Flashback:

"Meredith I really don't know what you expected." Did she really think he'd do anything else? "You hurt him. You hurt him more than O'Malley. At least with O'Malley he was just being his dumb, trusting self but you…you know what he's been through. He trusted you with that."

"I know! Alright Mark I know! I know that I've screwed up here but that's not why I called." Really? "I'm worried about him. He's pushing everyone away Mark and that's not good for him."

Tell me about it.

Getting Alex to open up to me had been painful and slow. Getting him to trust me was as hard as catching smoke with my bare hands. Hell catching smoke probably would have been easier to do. Breaking that trust and trying to get it back? Impossible!

"Go on." Merediths not dumb, clueless sometimes, but she's not dumb. If she's worried then she has reason to be.

"Alex needs people. He needs people around him to stop him from self destructing. If we let him he'll fall back down the hole he was dragged up in and never surface. I don't want that. I don't want that when he's come so far." Despite how angry I am at her I can't deny the fact that she cares a lot about Alex. He's special to her.

"What do you want me to do?"

End Flashback

It was her call that prompted me to spend my night off, a rarity these days, going to see Alex. Since the night that I dragged his drunk ass back to my apartment he's kept his distance. At first I thought it was through embarrassment. Getting so drunk that Joe calls your friend to get you home isn't exactly something pleasant to wake up to. After Merediths call however I'm beginning to think it might be something else. He's trying to pull away from me.

Not happening kid.

"Oh what do you want?" He sighs as he opens the door.

"To talk." Being honest with him is the only way to work. He's smarter than he lets on. If you lie to him and he finds out about it then it'll only be worse in the long run.

"Go away Sloan." Putting my foot between the door I refuse to allow him to throw me out. For a moment I almost think that he's going to fight me on this before he relents and moves back from the doorway.

"So how long are you going to stay mad at Grey and O'Malley for?" The glare I get tells me that going straight for the jugular isn't going to work this time. Before I can try again however he speaks.

"Why do you keep coming round here?" Seriously? "I mean why the hell do you care so much?"

"Because you're my friend and I care about you." For a moment my words seem to floor him and he says nothing to me. What did he think this was? Charity?

"Well you're the only one." Truth be told I don't think that I'm meant to hear his words given the expression on his face when I speak.

"You don't actually think that's true do you?" Something tells me the explosion I receive has been building for a long time now.

Alex POV:

"Are you kidding me!? Are you actually kidding me?" Despite my best attempts I'm unable to stop myself from speaking. "Take a look around Sloan and tell me what you see."

"Alex-" The anger and built up emotion takes over however and I don't let him speak.

"Meredith, George…everybody just ups and leaves. One day so will you. Might as well do it know before…" Before you get too attached? Ignoring my traitorous mind I try to reign in my words but I can't. They're coming out with or without my permission. "Everybody walks away in the end. Everyone."

"I'm not. I'm not walking away and no amount of pushing is going to get me to give up. Don't bother testing me kid 'cause I'm a hell of a lot more stubborn than you are." Why? Why won't you just walk away now?

"Well you should! Seriously Sloan you do not need all of my crap dragging you down." He really doesn't. One day he'll realise that and it'll be a lot less painful if he just leaves now.

"There's nothing so big that it'll make me walk away." Really? REALLY? Before I can stop it everything suddenly rushes out and for the first time I'm unable, or unwilling, to stop it.

"You really think that? You really think that my life isn't going to screw you up? Well lets find out." Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. "There's the alcoholic, drug addict father who spent years beating my mother black and blue. Of course once I got big enough to return the favour he took off. Then there's the schizophrenic mother who was so out of her mind that I was the one who had to take care of my brother and sister."

"Alex…"

"Oh no, no it gets better. Not only did I have to take care of Aaron and Amber but I had to take care of my own mother too. I bathed her, changed her, clothed her, fed her…I was a father and a husband all in one. Of course eventually I had to get her committed and sent me and my siblings into care. That was a real great day." Stop talking. Stop talking. Stop talking. "Now I don't even go home anymore, now all I do is send money every month and ignore their calls. So there you go. There's my past. Now you know everything so why don't you just walk away like everyone else does!?"

I can feel the tears in my eyes as I clamp my mouth shut.

What the hell is wrong with me?

Why did I say that?

What did I just do?

I squeeze my eyes shut, waiting to hear the door slam, when something happens that takes my breath away.

Mark hugs me.

Oh dear. Poor Alex He's really got some issues here but don't worry Mark is awesome and he's going to make sure that Alex is okay.

Mark: I really am awesome.

I know, I know. Someone has to be. Poor Alex needs big brother Mark to make everything better.

Mark: Lady don't make it creepy.

Hey! I'm not creepy. Tell him Alex.

Alex:…

Alright you know what, I'm going to go and fix Alex so I'll see you later. Oh by the way happy new year!

Until next time,

Bye x