Living with one of America's greatest history heroes was rather...boring.
So afraid that she'd offend him in some way, shape, or form, she generally stayed out of his way. She always lingered close by in case he had a question or needed help with something, but for the most part she stayed on her side of whatever room they were in and he stayed on his. He was polite enough, always opening doors first or letting her walk ahead of him if they happened to come out of their rooms at the same time. Katherine was the designated cook, and Captain Rogers had taken it upon himself to do the dishes every time she did. Sometimes Lionel joined them for meals, sometimes he didn't.
Mostly, it was just quiet.
Katherine was used to Sophia, her raunchy jokes and loud laughter. She was used to Wendy giving her big, warm hugs whenever she visited. And she was used to Timothy absentmindedly kissing both Sophia and Katherine on their foreheads when he got home from work. Katherine was used to her little makeshift family. Going from that to just Captain Rogers and occasionally Lionel was a shift she hadn't been expecting to have trouble with, but undoubtedly was.
And when Katherine Baker was having trouble, her solution was to punch it away.
After a round of nightmare that had woken her up at about three, she found herself unable to fall back asleep. She remembered Lionel mentioning something about a home gym, but she hadn't visited it yet in fear of walking in on Captain Rogers and disrupting any routine he had. However, at three in the morning, she figured she was probably okay to explore the gym. After changing into clothes more suitable for working out, she quietly left the confines of her room and tiptoed to the home gym, careful not to make too much noise as she passed Captain Rogers's room.
The gym was pretty standard. There was a treadmill and elliptical on the furthest corner of the room, but they were facing away from the door and the idea of someone walking in on her while she was distracted made her blood pump in her veins a little faster with anxiety. The wall to the right of the treadmill and elliptical had a row of weights set up, as well as a couple weight-lifting machines. But Katherine didn't feel like lifting weights at three in the morning. Her answer was closest to the door, hung up with a lone pair of gloves.
When she had been introduced to S.H.I.E.L.D. and Fury was still trying to build up her strength through training, she had lost count of how many times she had been in the corner of the training area with the punching bag, hitting and punching the bag until she was numb enough not to feel anything. And when she was fully trained, she still found herself going back to the bag, hitting away all her frustrations and nightmares. It was a comfort to realize, as she hit the bag now, that that feeling of release hadn't left in the months since she'd been in a training center.
She gave small punches at first, trying to work off the last few traces of sleep that plagued her. As she thought about the nightmare that woke her up in the first place, her punches got harder and her breath came in faster pants from her mouth. The nightmares were always the same. That apartment building, being downstairs in the lobby and hearing the bellhop scream that the top floor had been bombed. Katherine shook her head, trying to rid herself of the memory as she punched the bag a couple more times, her hands flying faster. She welcomed the distracting sound of her hands hitting the bag, echoing through the gym as the moon shone through the window near the weights.
"That kid's an orphan now, Coulson."
Katherine could feel the sweat start to pool around her brow and on her collarbone. She moved her hair out of her eyes and hit the bag harder, letting little grunts of aggression and anger escape as her hands flew in front of her.
"What do you recommend we do, sir?"
Katherine stopped punching only to throw her hair up in a messy ponytail. The hair on the back of her neck stuck there with her sweat, but she didn't pay it more attention than she needed. She hit the bag once, twice, three times until she lost count. All she could focus on was the sound of her fists against the punching bag and the sound of her heart beating furiously in her chest.
"Take her into S.H.I.E.L.D."
So deep into her own thoughts, she didn't hear the hesitant footsteps making their way into the home gym. She wasn't aware of Captain Rogers until she took a tiny break between punches and he cleared his throat, which made her jump and hold up her hands in a defensive position, gloves at the ready to punch him if she needed to. Though, she doubted what good it would do to someone enhanced like him. He held up his hands in the universalI mean no harmposition, palms outstretched towards her as his eyebrows furrowed.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you. I just heard you up and..." he trailed off, dropping his hands when Katherine did.
"Sorry," she parroted, dropping her hands to her sides and giving herself a couple of minutes to take a breather, "did I wake you up?"
He gave her a rueful smile. "Hard to wake someone up if they never fell asleep."
She hummed thoughtfully in response before undoing the velcro holding the gloves to her hands. "I guess I should be taking a break anyway." A quick glance at the clock in the corner of the room told her she'd already been in there for nearly two hours. Putting the gloves back where she found them, she made her way to the door of the home gym and heard Captain Rogers's footsteps following behind her back to the living room. "Let me take a shower real quick and then I can make us breakfast."
"Let me make breakfast," Cap replied, smiling a little when Katherine raised a brow. "Despite what you may think, I know how to scramble some eggs and cook some bacon."
Katherine kept her brow raised, but gave him a soft smile. "There's some tortillas and cheese in there, we can make breakfast burritos."
He raised an eyebrow in question. "Breakfast burritos?"
"Hold on," she said, pulling out her phone and putting in a quick search.Shit. Breakfast burritos gained popularity in the 1970s. "It's good. It's just eggs, meat, and cheese wrapped in a tortilla." She briefly showed him a picture.
"Looks good. I can try and make them."
"Great. I'll be out in about twenty minutes."
He nodded, eyes crinkling in the corners just slightly as a minuscule smile graced his face. She figured he liked being given tasks. His entire life pre-freeze had been spent serving others, whether it was simply being kind as pre-serum Captain Rogers or serving the military as one of America's greatest heroes. Leaving him with breakfast, she made her way upstairs to the bathroom she had claimed as hers. Lionel had bought standard body wash, so she scrubbed herself with the clean, lemony smelling scrub and washed her hair, letting the shampoo drip down her back as she put her head under the water. Her hands were slightly sore from the lack of boxing in the past couple months, but she felt energized.
Once she was done cleansing the evidence of her workout, she turned the shower off and stepped out, wrapping herself in a fluffy towel. The condensation on the mirror made it impossible to see herself, and for that she was grateful. She didn't want to see the dark circles underneath her eyes due to her lack of sleep the night before. She always slept bad the first night away from S.H.I.E.L.D. but last night had been even worse and she knew her body was suffering the consequences. Katherine quickly combed through her wet hair, leaving it down to dry as she switched out her towel for a clean tee and dark jeans.
Her feet padded on the steps as she walked back down the stairs, spotting Captain Rogers halfway through putting together a burrito. It looked messy, probably due to the fact that he'd only gotten a quick glance at the picture, but surprisingly good. He looked up when he heard her enter and gave her a small smile. "I doubt it'll be as good as your food, but I managed."
"It looks great," she said, finding that she didn't even have to lie to him as she sat at the barstool and pulled her plate closer.
"Do you normally eat anything with them?" he questioned, opening the fridge to grab anything she might have requested.
"You see that plastic container filled with tomato pieces? That's called salsa. It's really good on these if you want to try."
Captain Rogers gave her a somewhat amused expression. "Believe it or not, salsa was around in the forties."
"Sorry. I don't really know what's new to you and what isn't."
He grabbed the container and set it in front of her, along with a spoon so she could scoop some. "If I don't know what something is, I promise to ask."Fair enough.
Carefully unfolding the sides of the tortilla, she spooned a generous amount on the eggs and bacon inside before wrapping it back up. "It's good. You should try some. If you want to, that is."
He gave her burrito an uncertain look but decided to trust her. He scooped a lot less than she had, just to test the waters, and folded his burrito back up. Katherine's eyes watched his face as he took a bite, smiling when he awarded her with a nod of approval.
"I'm glad you like it." She took another bite of her own before she set it back down on the plate. They ate in relative silence for the next few moments before she turned to look at him. "Do you...do you have any questions about anything?"
Captain Rogers stared off into space, then gave her a rueful smile. "I'm not even sure where to start."
"We've got the Cold War and the Vietnam War."
"More war?" he asked, running his hand through his hair and sighing in defeat.
All she could do was nod solemnly. "It doesn't seem to ever end. But there were good things too. We've travelled to the moon."
He raised his eyebrows, looking mildly impressed.
"Not me personally," she clarified, "just America in general. Astronaut named Neil Armstrong. I was thinking today we could watch some documentaries on the major events of the past couple decades. Get you caught up on some history."
He shrugged, back to being silent as he finished up his burrito. She sat quietly, at a loss for what to do next. Normally she liked being the one to make decisions, but she was trying to get him situated and knowing what he wanted and preferred to do would be helpful. Things were quiet between them again as Katherine finished up her meal, awkwardly standing from the chair and tossing her plate in the dishwasher. He moved to allow her room but didn't comment on her idea again.
She figured he had already been debriefed enough on the end of the war, so a good place to start would be the early fifties. She wanted something lighthearted, nothing that would trigger any bad reactions or anxiety. As she scrolled through every streaming service she could think of, she suddenly grinned. "I found a good first documentary. I think you'll like it, if you like Coney Island."
This seemed to get his attention. He raised a brow, throwing his own plate in the dishwasher before he made his way over to the couch. Just like he had been since their first night here, he sat a respectable distance away from her. She didn't mind it, relishing in her own space just like she was sure he was relishing in his. "This is a documentary about one of America's most famous amusement parks. It's called Disneyland and it's in California. Well, they've got one in Florida now too. I've only been once, but it opened in 1955, so I figured it would be a good place to start."
"Disney? Like Mickey Mouse?" He asked, face lighting up a little bit due to him knowing the reference.
Katherine nodded. "The creator of Mickey Mouse, Walt Disney, oversaw the design and creation of this park. It's really cool." She clicked the play button and allowed the Captain to bask in the wonder of Disney.
The documentary started with an overview of Walt's life and the first beginning concepts of the park. Katherine knew the basics, but found herself listening in more than she had expected to. The last time she had been at Disneyland, it had been a girls trip with her mother for Katherine's seventh birthday. It had been the perfect day, spent eating too much food and riding every ride at least twice. She hadn't been back in fear of those memories being corrupted, like Coney Island had been. But it was nice to watch the movie and see the sights she didn't know would still be familiar to her.
Throughout the course of the documentary, she found herself watching the Captain's face to see his reaction. It was nothing short of awestruck. Katherine couldn't help the little smile that formed on her face. He was so appreciative of everything the world had to offer, even the smallest things. It was a trait she could people took for granted the little things in life, but not Captain Rogers.
"This is amazing," he mentioned when the documentary was about halfway through. Katherine nodded, agreeing wholeheartedly. "And it's still up and running today?"
"Yep. Expensive, though. A ticket goes for about a hundred bucks, give or take." At the Captain's wide eyes, Katherine couldn't suppress the little chuckle. "Pricing has changed a little bit since you went under. I believe a hundred dollars today translates to about eight dollars in the forties, maybe a little less." The Captain let out a small chuckle at that information, but Katherine could see the wheels in his brain working to decode the changing times.
The documentary lasted for about thirty more minutes and then it was over, the credits of the crew rolling. Katherine snuck a glance at her companion, noticing that he was as enthralled with the screen as he had been at the beginning of the movie. "That was incredible. Do you have any others?" Katherine nodded, pulling up the home screen, where all of the apps and streaming services were offered. "What about something you like? Any movies or bands?"
Katherine stopped clicking through the screen. "You want to watch something I like?"
"Well, I figured it would be pretty boring for you to sit through these if you didn't like them," he said awkwardly, scratching the back of his neck. She could see in his eyes that he was wondering if he had said the right thing.
She found herself at a loss for words. It seemed like such a little thing, but it weirdly tugged at her heartstrings. "Thanks," she said softly, "I actually watch a lot of cooking shows. They're usually good background noise for when I need something. I don't watch a ton of movies or anything. I listen to a lot of music, but you'll hear that when I cook. I can't cook in silence. It bothers me." She shrugged, as if it was no big deal. In reality, she just didn't like to hear the sizzling of a pan on the stove. It sounded too much like what she heard the day her family died. She drowned out the noise of her food cooking to whatever music she felt she needed.
"Put one of them on," he suggested, then realized his demand could be received the wrong way. "If you want to. You don't have to." Katherine could help but let a small laugh escape at his words. He was like a skittish animal, worried about offending her every five seconds. Still, she took his advice and put on the first cooking show she saw, not overly interested in it, but watching it for the sake of normalcy.
About ten minutes into the show, she heard the tell-tale sign of the passcode being entered into the front door. Katherine should have told Lionel to just knock. Because suddenly she was flung off the couch, thrown behind Captain Rogers in a protective manner, his right arm outstretched in a defensive position like he was ready to attack Lionel at the door. His left arm was behind him, gripping Katherine's skin so tightly that she knew there would be bruises. If she wasn't so used to harsh training with Natasha and Clint, she might have yelled out in pain.
Lionel held up his hands in the universalI come in peacegesture and Katherine was quick to gently rest a hand on Captain Rogers's shoulder. "Captain," she said softly, trying not to wince as his grip tightened on her even more before he seemed to realize what was happening. He looked behind his body, at Katherine's pleading eyes and his arm on her shoulder. He looked absolutely horrified. "It's alright," she said, knowing the self-loathing look that was starting to form in his eyes.
"I... I'm sorry," he said, his words choppy with breath as he fully released her. He was gone in an instant, walking swiftly to his room. She heard the lock on the door click when his door closed and sighed out in frustration.
"I'm sorry, Katherine. I didn't even think," Lionel said in a whisper, sounding ashamed of himself.
"Hey, it's not your fault at all. We just have to be a little more delicate." She ran her hands through her hair and turned off the cooking show, figuring Captain Rogers would stay in his room for the majority of the rest of the day. "How'd you sleep?" she asked, trying to take the focus off the super soldier.
Lionel shrugged. "Like I always do the first couple nights away from home. You?"
"Pretty much the same," she replied. Though, it wasn't saying much. She never slept well anymore.
Lionel sat at one of the barstools. "How was he, before I came in?"
Katherine thought about her answer for a moment. "He was doing alright. I can tell he hates feeling incompetent. And no matter how much I tell him it's not his fault, he doesn't like not knowing what things are, especially when they seem like basic knowledge to me. He seemed to genuinely enjoy the documentary we watched today, but I think there was a little twinge of sadness too, because he wasn't there to witness it in his life." She paused for a moment as she gathered her ingredients. "I can hear him awake at night, tossing and turning."
"And you can hear him awake because you're also awake," Lionel said, raising a brow. "Have you been taking any sleeping medicine, like the doc recommended?"
Katherine's nose crinkled. "The medicine gives me nightmares." The first few months she had taken it, she had woken in the middle of the night screaming and begging for invisible ghosts to leave her family alone. She had tossed the rest of the pills down the toilet immediately afterwards. She didn't bother to tell Lionel about the early start to her day, instead just quietly wiping down the counter from their breakfast.
"Well, you can't be skipping out on sleep all the time. How many hours did you get last night?" Katherine appreciated the concern, but it made her roll her eyes. She didn't reply, instead choosing to wipe at a stubborn stain on the countertop. "Katherine..." he trailed off, the worry evident in his tone.
"Stop worrying. I'm getting enough to get me by," she said. "I think I saw a mall on the way here?"
"I know," Lionel said simply, giving her a look that said they'd talk about the sleeping thing later, but he'd let it go for now. "Need something?"
Katherine grabbed the list from the counter on the right side of the fridge and held it out to him. He scanned it over briefly, nodding at the normal things she was asking for before one of his salt and pepper brows rose. "Why do you want all these vinyls?"
"I found a record player in one of the upstairs room and figured it was time to start easing him into music. If I do modern music on a record player, I was hoping it would take some of the shock away."
Lionel smiled. "You always were too smart for your own good. Anything else?" Katherine shook her head. "Alright. I'll be back in about an hour." His eyes trailed over to the closed door of Captain Rogers's room. "Tell him I'm sorry, yeah? I didn't mean to frighten him."
"For the last time, you're fine, Lionel. We appreciate everything you do for us. He's just... he just needs more time to adjust."
Katherine walked Lionel to the door and closed it behind him, making sure to lock it after she heard his car pull away. Once the deadbolt was secured, she padded across the living room floor to where the Captain's room was. She gently brushed her knuckles against the door, and wouldn't have been surprised if he hadn't even heard the knock. Though, he was a super soldier with enhanced senses, so she figured he had. "Captain Rogers?" she said gently, not wanting to frighten him but also not wanting to make him feel like she had to treat him like he was fragile. "I'm going to finish watching that cooking show. Would you like to join me?"
It was silent for several moments before she heard his tired voice respond. "I'm okay. Thanks, Agent Baker."
And that was that. The good mood of the day was ruined. She didn't blame him; it wasn't his fault that his first instinct was that there was danger near. She just hated that it had ruined their entire day. "Okay," she responded softly, "I'll probably be out there for a while, if you change your mind." She didn't expect a response this time and made her way to the living room.
It was times like these when she craved for Sophia's presence. She always wanted Sophia around, but this time she felt like she would suffocate with the emptiness of the house. Before the death of her family, she used to hate small spaces. She hated feeling cramped or trapped. Then after the fire, she realized the fear had changed. After standing in the widespread ruins of the hotel she and her parents had been staying in the night they died, she realized she feared the wide open space now. She didn't like that there was room for people to creep in, for people to sneak up on her.
Her phone dinged with a little message notification. Expecting Sophia, she shot up and grabbed for her phone, already feeling lighter at the expectation of a joke Sophia would no doubt tell to make Katherine feel better. Pressing her finger to the home button and typing in the password quickly, she opened the text message.
How are things with our favorite Sleeping Beauty Encino Man?
Katherine rolled her eyes.That reference is old, even for you. He's fine. I'm fine. Everything's fine.
Oh no, three fines. You must be bored out of your mind.
It's hard, I guess. How do you connect with someone from the 1940s? I'm pretty sure my grandmother wasn't even born until 1945, and that was after he was already frozen.
Sophia's response didn't come right away, so Katherine set her phone on the coffee table next to her feet and pressed the play button on the remote. The only other sound she could hear beside the low noise of the program was the gentle clinking of the fan above her, oscillating just loudly enough to give Katherine background her will, her eyes started drooping shut, gentle blinks becoming slower and slower until eventually Katherine was dozing off, between the state of being asleep and awake.
She didn't recognize the dream immediately at first. She was in the living room of the safe house, where she and Captain Rogers had been just hours before. She could hear something playing on the television, but couldn't decipher what it was because there was something else playing, growing louder and louder. Katherine couldn't find the source of the sound, but she saw Captain Rogers in the kitchen, cooking up something. She realized she couldn't hear the sound of the sizzling pan, just the way she liked it.
He looked up at her and smiled, but it wasn't the kind-hearted smile she knew he possessed. It was an apologetic smile, like he was sorry for something. She opened her mouth to ask what was wrong, but suddenly the sizzling of the pan got louder and louder, until it was all she could hear ringing in her ears. Katherine flung her hands over her ears and tried to call out for Captain Rogers to stop cooking. But when she looked up, all she saw was her little brother and parents, standing in the kitchen. But they were different now, covered in soot and blackened with ash.
"Survivor's guilt, sweetheart. It never goes away," her father said through a crumbling mouth, before they all disintegrated, nothing more than ash in the middle of the kitchen.
A gentle shake on her arm thrust her into consciousness. She jumped, staring up at Captain Rogers with wide eyes, heart thumping quickly in her chest as she assessed around her for danger. "Agent Baker?" she heard him ask. "Are you alright? I... I saw you fidgeting and figured it was a nightmare." Katherine ran her hands through her hair, noticing how sweaty her brow had become. A quick glance at her phone told her she'd been asleep for longer than she thought, Sophia's reply from earlier having come in an hour prior to Captain Rogers's interference. She stood from her couch, ignoring the sight of the Captain's concerned face. "Sorry, I just thought I would wake you up."
"It's fine." Katherine didn't want to talk about the dream she had just had. When it looked like he wanted to ask about them, opening up his mouth to ask the inevitable question, she interrupted him. "Did Lionel get back yet?" she asked, changing the subject.
Captain Rogers nodded. "He left about fifteen minutes ago. I would have woken you up but he told me to let you sleep." Katherine would have almost preferred that the Captain wake her up; maybe the nightmare wouldn't have gotten as far along as it had. However, she knew Lionel would have been upset with Captain Rogers if he had disturbed her, especially after Katherine's conversation with the older man earlier that morning. "Are you sure you don't want to talk about it?" he asked softly, offering his attention once more.
What could she tell him? It wasn't like her nightmares even came close to comparing to his. Sure, she'd been there when her family had died, but he'd had to deal with so much more. From the loss of his parents, to the loss of Bucky's parents, to the loss of Bucky himself, and then the strange new sensation of waking up in the next , she wouldn't confess her nightmares. She couldn't. "I'm sure," she said with a small smile, her tone leaving no room for any arguments on his side. "What would you like to do?"
"You know you don't have to entertain me the entire six months we're here, right?" he asked.
"I know. It's more for my sanity than anything. I get jittery when I'm forced to stay in one place for too long. It was worse when I was a kid."
"Bucky was like that. Annie and I would be fine doing absolutely nothing, but he'd always have this unlimited energy. He was always on the go." Katherine didn't have a response, so she just nodded. "I think I'd like to watch some documentaries again. The other one was good."
"Sure. We'll find another one." They moved to the couch, staring at the screen as Katherine searched for something else to watch. There were lots of historical things, but she didn't know if he was in the right headspace for that just yet. She picked the first one she saw, which was about the history of cars. He seemed intrigued at first, however, it didn't last long. She saw Captain Rogers turn to her, saw the war in his eyes as he struggled with asking her what was on his mind. "Agent Baker?" he asked. She let her eyes roam over to his face, distracting herself from the show. "Could you tell me about Peggy?"
If there was one thing she hadn't been expecting to answer, it was exactly what the Captain had asked her just then. "Agent Carter?" she stuttered out, surprised. She didn't know much about Agent Carter outside the legends told throughout S.H.I.E.L.D. All she knew was that she was in a facility in D.C. "I didn't really know her all that well, Captain. I'm sorry. I know what retirement home she's in, and I know she lived a decently happy life, but that's all, really."
"And Howard? I know Fury said he got married and they have a son, but picturing him with anyone else but Annie..." he trailed off, shaking his head. "It just seemswrong."
"Howard tried to find her. Both of you. He spent years searching. He met Maria about three years after the Valkyrie went down. They passed in a car crash in 1991. I wasn't at S.H.I.E.L.D. yet, but I heard stories about them. I met their son a few times growing up, but he didn't want much to do with S.H.I.E.L.D. I don't think he and Howard got along all that well."
"I just can't picture him with anyone else. He was always trying to get under her skin and get a reaction from her. And eventually he wore her down. Howard without Annie..." Captain Rogers trailed off, and the unspoken words were clear.He should have tried harder to find Annie. He shouldn't have given up on her.
Katherine couldn't help the wry smile that came over her lips. "I think you underestimate the pain of being alone, Captain Rogers. Everyone wants someone. And sometimes giving up is less painful than holding onto a fantasy. It took them nearly seventy years to find you. Howard was dead ten before that. If he hadn't moved on... he would have spent the rest of his days looking for Annie. And something tells me that's not what she would have wanted."
"I won't begrudge him happiness. I'm glad that he found someone. It's just...everything's different. I woke up in New York and some things are the same, but most of it is different. Everyone I knew is gone, the things I knew are gone." His voice verged on frustrated. Katherine couldn't imagine what he was feeling. "Have you ever felt like that?"
"No," she replied softly. "I'm sorry that this is happening to you, Captain Rogers."
He didn't reply to that, just looking at her for a moment before he gently turned to look back at the television. She could tell that he wasn't really paying attention to the program at first, but eventually started to pay closer attention. It was a good filler to keep his mind off things. Meanwhile, Katherine was simply staring at the television, going through the motions of watching but not paying attention fully. Her mind was still on the conversation from before.
Once the documentary ended, it was like the two of them were on autopilot. The visions of what had happened in his history had seemed to leave Captain Rogers speechless, and Katherine's early morning was finally starting to catch up to her. "Want some dinner?" she asked when it had finished.
"I think I'm going to try heading to sleep." They both knew that it was a moot point. He'd get about as much sleep as she would, especially after her little afternoon nap. "Goodnight, Agent Baker."
Katherine made dinner for herself alone, sitting at the counter and eating the soup without really tasting it. She found that no matter how tired she was, she wasn't ready to go to sleep. She didn't want the same nightmare to creep up on her. Instead, she tidied the kitchen and tried to keep her mind occupied. She fluffed couch pillows and even swept the hardwood floors of the safe house, scrambling for another meticulous and mind-numbingly boring chore to do so she wouldn't be forced to face her thoughts. There wasn't much else she could do besides sit and think about their conversation.
The Captain's question ran through her mind. She'd never felt displaced or blindsided. Even in the aftermath of her family's death, she'd have the memories and the closure that he didn't have. However, shehadgiven up on herself. She'd given up on herself that day in Austria, and she hadn't regained the self-confidence she needed to pick herself back up.
Katherine brought her knees to her chest, curling her arms around them as she sat and stared at the silent room. She wasn't the type to cry or show emotions, so no tears came as she looked thoughtfully at a painting on the opposite side of the room. But that didn't mean she didn't feel the exhaustion start to settle in, so much deeper than a normal tiredness. She reached for the remote and tried to drown out her thoughts with a mindless program, not caring that the only thing she'd really done today was watch television.Consistency is key, she reminded herself ruefully. Pressing against the pillows, she rested her head on the arm of the couch and watched the television until it lulled her to a sleeping state, not quite dozed off but not fully awake.
When she woke, she blearily checked the time on her phone. It was another early morning, the numbers3:18staring back at her in a light that was much too bright for the darkness of the living room. She realized groggily that she had fallen asleep on the couch, and there was a soft material surrounding her body. Staring at the blanket, she tried to remember when she'd grabbed it in the night before her mind caught up with the feeling of the soft fleece. The television was turned off and she was covered with the blanket that had been on the back of the couch. Sometime in the night, Captain Rogers must have come out into the living room and found her asleep. Her heart swelled in her chest as the sweet, unexpected gesture. She was pretty sure no one had covered her with a blanket since she was a little girl.
Tiptoeing past his door as to not wake him up, she made her way to her room and changed into another outfit worthy for the gym, soft leggings and a loose shirt that wouldn't stick to her body too tightly when she inevitably started sweating. She filled up a water bottle in the kitchen and made her way to the home gym, starting with a few simple stretches since her arms were slightly sore from the workout the morning before. Maybe that was something new, she decided on a positive note. She could start working out daily, like she had used to before Austria. One good thing the safe house offered, she supposed. It wasn't like there was much else to do.
She felt the muscles in her body fall back into an almost familiar pattern as she sat on the ground and leaned her entire body towards her right leg, grabbing her toes and bending them back slightly. She repeated the action on the other side. Her early years in gymnastics and training with S.H.I.E.L.D. made it easy enough for her to slip into a horizontal split, and then a vertical split when she stood up and lowered herself down to the ground again. Then, once she was fully stretched, she moved towards the elliptical, blasting whatever music she could find. It was some kind of rap album that was probably designed to make her feel pumped and energized for the upcoming workout. She found it worked well enough, and was glad the room was soundproof, so she wouldn't wake up the Captain.
Her legs worked, moving her body back and forth to the rhythm of the music. She didn't know how long she stayed on the machine, moving her legs back and forth, but after what felt like an hour, she got off. Her legs felt like jelly, but she pressed on, making her way back to the punching bag hanging from the ceiling. The same gloves on her hands, she started hitting the bag, her arms becoming slow and sluggish by the time another hour rolled around. Taking a break, she lifted her water bottle to her mouth and heard the soft sounds of tapping footsteps growing closer.
"Figured I might find you here again," Captain Rogers said, walking into the gym. He gave her a small smile, the same one he'd been giving her every morning for the past forty-eight hours. "You mind some company?" She shook her head, setting her water bottle back on the bench. He looked around the gym and sheepishly gave her a little frown. "The only thing I really know how to do in here is the bag," he said, gesturing to the bag she was about to begin hitting. "I didn't go to the gym much before the war," he joked. She was happy to see he seemed to be in a better mood than he had been last night.
She unfastened the gloves from her hand. "Here, you can use it. I'm pretty much done for the morning, I'm just going to stretch some more so I'm not sore tomorrow." He gratefully accepted the gloves. "I'll tell Lionel to get another pair next time he comes around," she mentioned. They were both silent as he started the meticulous punching and she sat on the ground and repeated the stretches she had done earlier that morning. Neither of them focused on one another, and Katherine felt grateful that she still felt the peace of being alone even with Captain Rogers in the room.
Katherine finished stretching and gave the Captain a nod of acknowledgement as she left the gym, heading to her room to grab a change of clothes before her routine morning shower. When she emerged from the bathroom thirty minutes later, Captain Rogers was still in the gym. She took advantage of the silence and used the records Lionel had picked out to drown out the sound of bacon frying in the pan when she begun cooking. It was one of ABBA's albums, and Captain Rogers found her humming along to the music when he came back inside, slicked with sweat but looking more relaxed than she'd ever seen him.
"Who's this?" he asked as he sat on a barstool. She handed him his plate of breakfast and he accepted it with a small thanks. He didn't seem to think it was weird she was listening to music. After all, she'd warned him. He'd actually been pretty interested and happy when Lionel had shown off all the records he'd bought.
"ABBA. A Swedish band I grew up with. They got pretty popular in the states."
"When were they popular?" he asked, trying to fit this small piece of pop culture into the ever-growing timeline in his mind.
"1970s mostly. My mom always used to listen to them. Drove my brother and dad crazy. But I'd always sing along."
"You have a brother?" he asked, voice twinging in surprise.
She stared down at the pan, going silent. He seemed to realize his mistake. She was briefed on Captain Rogers so much that she was pretty sure she could pinpoint the exact time of day he was born. For the first time since she'd been told about their arrangement, she wondered if he'd been equally as briefed on her life.
"I never had siblings, but Bucky had a couple of sisters. One time, a boy made her cry, so Bucky and I went to go beat him up. Bucky got some punches in, but I think I ended up worse than the guy did. I wasn't exactly indestructible." He let out a little laugh.
She appreciated that he was trying to change the subject. "Yet," she added, giving him a tiny smile. "I'm sure if that guy were still around, he'd get the surprise of his life trying to get a punch in."
"Yeah, probably. Is it immature that I wish he were still around so I could see him try?"
He smiled at her, a real smile. The first one she'd seen on him since he woke up. It was the same smile that was in the picture of pre-serum Captain Rogers, back when he was still Steve. There were many things that had changed from then to now, but his smile remained the same. It was nice to see.
"No. I'd probably wish for the same thing," she answered, giving him a smile back.
They ate their breakfast. Captain Rogers took a shower. And then, like clockwork, they settled down onto the couch and Katherine put on a documentary. Neither really paid attention.