KOTODAMA

"The soul that resides within words."

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Chapter XIX

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Kagome was making her way through the various streets separating her from the train station, and the apartment she lived in. She felt at ease, and cheerful; InuYasha's company had that effect on her, it came as naturally comfortable, as if he had always been in her life. He was walking by her side, falling into step with that cadence of his, which he used when they were together like this. He wasn't talking much, yet there was a recurrent smile on his features; in fact, Kagome failed to recall a day when she had been able to appreciate it as much as today, to see that way his eyes seemed to become brighter as a consequence. InuYasha seemed in a particularly good mood, caused most probably by the situation between Sango and Miroku; in fact, that's what they were still discussing right now.

"I can't believe how they seemed to actually forget about us," Kagome commented, recalling the way her friend Sango walked out of the izakaya by Miroku's side.

"I never thought they'd hit it off so well, given your friend's personality," InuYasha reasoned.

Kagome fell silent for a moment.

"My friend's personality?" She asked then.

InuYasha looked at her for an instant, thinking that perhaps his comment had not been well received.

"I don't mean to say…"

"Is it because of that question she made you when we parted ways?" Kagome insisted. Sango had been quite incisive, prying into InuYasha's surname, who dodged the topic and changed it. Kagome noticed it, yet remained silent out of respect for that which he didn't want to share.

And the truth was that InuYasha himself didn't want to unveil too much about it; to most people, at least. He knew Kagome enough, and with her he felt a trust he was not used to.

"Well, it's clear your friend loves to investigate, and that she doesn't trust me," he stated.

Kagome shrugged a bit before answering; she wasn't one who could understand the reason behind Sango's actions.

"She is a member of the police; I suppose it isn't easy for her to act differently," she ventured, trying to put herself in her shoes, yet even Kagome herself had to admit that Sango's prying into InuYasha's life was uncomfortable. She would need to talk to her.

"She didn't seem to have that sort of problem with Miroku though," he observed.

Kagome sighed.

"You are right," she accepted, in the end.

A new silence between them followed, during which Kagome felt tempted to ask about that mysterious surname InuYasha seemed to want to hide. They turned the last street, and she lifted her gaze to find a space devoid of people, and immersed in the same silence they carried now. Their steps were slow, lacking in the will to reach the gate to the building. InuYasha's gaze darted to Kagome a couple of times, questioning his own secrecy about what Sango wanted to know.

At this rate, he may end up telling her his whole life. A smile curled his lips, then, as he realized he wouldn't mind it.

"We are here," Kagome muttered, so softly it felt almost as if she didn't want to be heard.

"You are," he nodded. The time to part today, had come.

InuYasha's mind began to race then, looking for a reason, anything, to see her tomorrow, and the day after, and the day after that. If he were to try really hard, he should be able to find time to see her at the end of her work. He would only be able to accompany her to the station, in some cases, yet he didn't care as long as he could see her during that short time.

"I'll make some tea, wanna come upstairs?" Kagome's voice, together with her proposal, pulled him out of his plans, leaving his mind blank for a moment, "I also have coffee, if you prefer."

InuYasha remained muted for an instant longer, as Kagome's gaze wandered through everywhere but him, only meeting his gaze sporadically and briefly, not even a full second.

"You are alone tonight, right?" He wondered, working through the situation and his own ideas.

"Yes," she answered, monosyllabic, breathlessly. Only then did her eyes fully lock on his.

He felt everything suddenly fit into place; She, standing in front of him with a beautiful rosy on her cheeks, her eyes shining brightly beneath the street light, yet projecting her own light, a light InuYasha knew Kagome emitted constantly.

Yet, even so, he wondered further, "are you not afraid of being with me alone?"

"No," another monosyllable, heavy and so powerful it made his heart race.

"What if I turn into some sort of demon you can't handle?" InuYasha inquired then, needing her to weight the risk. He had the feeling Kagome was capable of helping the vilest of creatures.

Upon hearing his words, she couldn't help imagining him as a different being, his fangs and claws fear-inspiring, so sharp they could rend the flesh of his prey. She imagined that being as part of her story, and she could almost hear her character growling, as if approving of the idea.

"I trust you," she told him, then lowered her gaze as if expecting something.

InuYasha felt those words familiar, as if reminiscent of an impossible memory that almost ran a shiver down his spine.

"Coffee," he replied, "I don't mind." A smile appeared on his features, then, and he was able to see how Kagome smiled back at him, understanding.

"Coffee, then," she concluded, then turned around to open the gate to the building.

It didn't take them long to reach the start of the stairs, InuYasha following behind her; nor to be by the door to the apartment she shared with her friend. InuYasha had a moment to think about Shippo, and how he should be fine for tonight, so it wouldn't be an issue if he took a bit longer to arrive; even so, he considered asking Kagome for a moment to call him, and speak of his possible delay.

"Come in, make yourself comfortable; you know the place already," she said as soon as she took her shoes off, and stepped inside.

InuYasha watched her figure heading further in, to that room he was already familiar with, noticing a certain restless joy, before the very fact that he was able to recall details about that private space of hers, his mind imagining her possible movements right now, which made him remain in place slightly longer than what's usual. He held his breath, as he tried to count the number of times his gaze settled on her mouth, wishing to taste her lips. It was strange, he thought then, to know already just how much he liked her, yet to no give himself time to dream of her.

"Still there?" He heard her wonder, as soon as she appeared through the corridor.

InuYasha pondered just how long he had been there, and when his mind failed to reach an answer, he smiled, and felt grateful to Kagome's inability to read his thoughts.

"Come; let's prepare that coffee," she encouraged him, provoking one of those unusual reminiscing sensations he had been having with details like this one. It wasn't the prospect of brewing coffee, but rather how Kagome seemed to include him in any of her endeavors; she had him in mind, and that brought him joy.

"And in that 'let's', what do I do?" InuYasha asked, his voice playful, leaning against the kitchen's countertop.

The brewing of the coffee began in a silence that felt strangely harmonic; to be together, like this, in the middle of a simple task, felt like a known ritual. Kagome would give InuYasha a few instructions that he would follow without problem, and only when they sat at the low, small table she had in the living room, did they look at each other intently.

"How is Shippo?" Kagome wondered, seeking a neutral topic," I haven't been able to ask about him today."

"He is fine," InuYasha nodded, slightly cheerful from her manifest interest in the boy's well-being, "in love, have I told you?"

"I can't recall you mentioning it, no," she smiled, then brought the cup to her lips to heat-test the coffee. InuYasha observed the full extent of that gesture, and even though both of them were aware of it, they made no comment about it.

"Well, since with Shippo, nothing can be easy, he's come to like a girl whose family is… slightly troublesome," InuYasha shrugged as he said it, glancing briefly at Kagome, looking and expecting a sort of apprehension on her features, before the information he revealed. However, he saw none, just her attention, "but he is in love, and at that age is hard to know if it's a good thing."

Only before those words did Kagome show a different reaction, blinking a couple of times, as if seeking to understand her own thoughts.

"You believe to be in love, to be bad?" She wondered with that frankness InuYasha was starting to admire. He lowered his gaze to the cup of coffee, thinking about the answer as he watched the steam coming out of the dark liquid.

"I suppose you don't always fall in love with the right person," he spoke, more as a conclusion to his own thoughts than to answer.

"I believe that if you fall in love, it's always the right person," Kagome made especially sure to make her words sound categoric, interested as she was in InuYasha's opinion about the topic.

"But… what about when things go sideways? When one of them lies, or cheats, or leaves the other, or simply just enters the relationship half-heartedly?" Suddenly, the conversation appeared to be more akin to an open debate.

"Well, I'm no expert, but I believe that when someone falls in love, its always with a person that's there to teach them something," Kagome elaborated. For an instant, all InuYasha could wonder was if she had been in a relationship before," if they cheat or lie, you stop looking at the surface and start trying to see further, deeper into someone; if they go in half-heartedly, you learn to not make that same mistake again, to not settled down for a person who doesn't give as much as you. I suppose that being with someone, for a short of long period of time, should be meant to help us improve."

"What about disappointments?" InuYasha retorted. That was something chiseling at his trust constantly, in any kind of relationship in his life.

Kagome shrugged.

"You deal with them," she replied, as her gaze rested on her spoon as she stirred the coffee, "there is a phrase I read once, and that I like," she looked at him then, "Pain is inevitable; but suffering is optional."

InuYasha felt something in him expanding, as if a sort of seal in his soul had been broken, giving it the ability to reach further, and acquire another way to see the world. He wondered, then, if that sensation would last and if it was possible to become drunk on emotional clarity. He looked at Kagome, unable to tear his gaze away, noting her trying to avoid him at first, to then fix her beautiful chestnut brown eyes on him, and smile with a certain naïve joy. It was then when InuYasha had an urge to fix that instant in his mind, and muttered her name.

"Kagome." The word was a sigh, an allegory depicting the moment he was living. InuYasha, without knowing, was painting in his memory an instant that would follow him forever.

Kagome yearned, in an unconfessable way, that those lips pronouncing her name would kiss her. She didn't know if such a touch could change anything in the world she lived in; yet, what is life without uncertainty?

She parted her lips when InuYasha's gaze fell on them, preciously golden. She knew her mouth to be trembling, she could feel it as his name wandered in her mind like a bee buzzing amidst the fields, the flowers inebriating it with their sweetness. Yes, she wanted to kiss him; yes, she wanted this moment to become fixed in her memories like one of those experiences she had talked about before. However, there was an uncertainty in her, an uncertainty she could feel in her trembling hands, one telling her she may not be ready for that yet… so she lowered her gaze, wishing that InuYasha missed how her own desire shrunk inside her.

"How is your coffee?" She asked him, bringing him out of the charm he seemed immersed in.

InuYasha reacted, and an instant later he brought the cup to his lips, seeking to taste the recomforting flavor. The scent filled his nose, and made of that first sip, something fulfilling.

"Really good. Thanks," he accepted, as soon as he felt the hot liquid go down his throat.

"I'm glad." Kagome felt content, and calmer, as her emotions returned to their balanced state.

"You've made a coffee almost as good as Myoga's," InuYasha added.

"Myoga?" It was the first time Kagome heard that name.

"Myoga is an old, old friend of mine." Kagome read a certain caring in his voice. "It's because of him that I met Shippo." In that moment, InuYasha lifted his gaze and captured, once again, her eyes. "I'd like you to meet him."

"Who? Shippo?" The questions came out of her mouth without making much sense, Kagome realized after.

"Not him; you know him already, even if not in the right way." InuYasha smiled, and lifted a knee, flexing it to have a place to hold himself onto. "I'd like to introduce you to Myoga," he clarified.

Kagome had the feeling that, if she were to accept, she would meet the closest thing InuYasha had for a family.

"Yes," she nodded, quickly.

InuYasha looked at her, unable to hide his surprise. He shouldn't find strange, not anymore, the way Kagome observed the world, yet he couldn't help the awe it often made him feel.

"What's wrong?" she wondered, as soon as she noticed his expression of disbelief.

"Nothing," he replied, "just that you are too honest for your own good," he explained.

"Oh, that," Kagome accepted, albeit reticently. InuYasha noted the change in her voice.

"Has it brought you problems in the past?" He moved his leg, returning it to its original position in order to be closer to Kagome. He felt like he needed to protect her, in a way he wasn't able to recognize from some other moment.

"No," she tried to say, "well, nothing too important," she clarified.

To her mind came memories, puerile ones, of when she was far too young to understand how power moved around the world.

InuYasha was unable to hold back his wish to take care of her, and placed a phrase between them that seemed to consolidate something that had been acquiring shape at a hurried rate.

"I know how to listen, if you want to talk about something," he stated, stronger than he meant to.

He could have taken it back, or regretted it; yet he didn't.

"Thank you," Kagome muttered, and extended a hand over the small table they were sitting across, to touch one of his.

It was sweet, and warm, more than they could have conceived at first, and that birthed a silence that seemed to fill the apartment completely. No sound inside, and nothing coming from the outside; the night seemed to have swallowed anything that may divert their attention from each other.

InuYasha felt tempted to caress Kagome's hand with his thumb, but he held back. She seemed restless before the discovery of that same desire inside her.

"I've recalled I have something for you," Kagome said, standing up and breaking the touch.

InuYasha watched her as she started towards her room, through the corridor; then Kagome stopped, turned around, and invited him with a gesture. "Come," she said, and InuYasha was unable to resist anymore.

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To be continued.

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A/N

I love KOTODAMA. I guess this confession is a bit inevitable, coming from me, since it seems that I will always say it about a story I write. If I had to analyze it, I believe it surges when the characters define themselves, and fill the story completely.

Thank you for reading, and leaving comments!

Anyara

This text is possible thanks to the translation of: Dezart

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Due to how little time I'm having to dedicate to create, and that KOTODAMA seemed to want to keep telling itself, I haven't been able to release the KAWAAKARI chapter for this week, so instead I released a different one.

Thank you for understanding.