KOTODAMA
"The soul that resides within words"
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Chapter XXX
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"To look at her, was like gazing into the infinite, within the compact measure of a person."
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InuYasha and Kagome were there, still, silent, as they laid on the bed by each other's side. The only movement in the room was that of their joined hands, and the soft caresses of their fingers. They were gazing into each other, and gathering, in that gesture, was all the emotivity of what they had just shared. InuYasha would be lying if he were to say he didn't wish to repeat the way in which passion had taken over, and to feel again that fullness. Kagome, on her part, was wondering if she should start a new session of intimate caresses, or if it would be best if he were the one to start it. Their thoughts, although apart, were in sync, as they crossed their minds amidst their nudity. They were immersed in the sopor of sex, just like they were in a sort of emotional effervescency that could not be yet expressed through words. That was the reason behind the subtlety in their caresses, in their gazes.
InuYasha lifted a hand, and reached for her cheek, unable to look her in the eyes, briefly, at first. He felt trapped by sensations he couldn't bring himself to confess. The caress on her features trailed down, gently, to her lower lip, where his gaze lingered, observing the way it remained docile, waiting for anything he may want to do. The need to have her again returned to him in force, and as he met her eyes, he sought to see the same restless desire in them. She was precious; not because of her obvious outer beauty, which could be seen by anyone, but rather, Kagome was beautiful in a deep way, in that grandiose way one understands with the heart, and then, finds itself bound to the soul.
He got closer, little by little, still a certain fear in his breast, to take the initiative in something she may refuse. He took a deep breath, as soon as he touched her lips with his, engrossed as he was in the incredible sensation of being possessed by an emotion, that he couldn't compare with anything known. It felt as if he were slightly opening a door keeping a secret nobody knew, except for her.
He gave in to the kiss, which was but a touch at first, before it intensified, and InuYasha noted how Kagome began to give more of herself, while demanding more of him as well. His senses captured how the shyness of their fingers began to caress at handfuls, seeking heat, sensations, skin; it took them to a new union of their bodies, harmonious and unthought of between two individuals that had just had each other for the first time.
InuYasha believed such a thing could be called magic. Kagome was sure of it.
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To InuYasha, the already trodden streets of Tokyo had never looked as luminious, nor interesting, as today. He had stopped, on the way, to observe things he usually just commuted through; grocery stores, a house decorated with plants, all the way to the metal door allowing entry to a side-corridor; the barking of a small dog, that was probably inside one of the surrounding apartments. He had the clear thought that all of it had been there every day, but he was only perceiving them now. There was a beauty in the details of that city, and InuYasha knew now why he was able to see them.
He smiled for the umpteen time, since he had left Kagome's apartment in between kisses that were threatening with making him unable to leave. His feelings were overflowing, making him unable to keep a neutral expression, the smile coming easily to his lips. Lingering, were the sensations of the intimacy they had shared, the docility of Kagome's body still tingling in his hands, as she had given in. He was filled by the yearning of spending days or weeks with her; it was evident to him right there, just like the sun that was starting to set at the end of a day that had been, simply, unforgettable.
He sighed, upon remembering he'd have to be soon at the Kyomu. He could run late, Jakotsu could cover for him, yet he still had to hurry. In his mind, he recounted the many tasks he needed to finish before being able to see Kagome again. Tonight, he'd finish late, for it was the usual on a Saturday, but maybe he'd be able to slip out, for a moment midday, in the same way he did today, and go to Kagome even if it were just for a kiss. Suddenly, just a kiss seemed the most indispensable thing in the world, and that made him afraid, yet fascinated him at the same time.
He tried to find his composure then, for he'd soon arrive at the house he was living in with Shippo; he needed to see the boy, at least, before leaving him alone for hours again. He was worried about that loneliness. They'd eat something, most likely, and he'd then ask him to stay at Myoga's for a couple of days. To his surprise, he found Shippo standing at the start of an adjacent street. By his side, there was a cloth bag, leaning against the wall of a house on that corner.
"Shippo," he called him when he was a short distance away. The boy lifted his gaze from a book he was reading, the last one he had borrowed from the library.
"Oh, great! You are here! Ten more minutes, and I'd be gone." InuYasha watched him reach for the cloth bag by his feet.
"And where are you suppose to be going?" He asked.
"Do you read your messages?" Shippo burrowed his brow slightly.
InuYasha looked inside the pockets of the sweater he was wearing, then his pants'. It was then when he realized the phone Naraku gave him wasn't with him.
"I don't have the phone on me," he explained.
"Did you lose it?" His friend was surprised.
"No. I just left it somewhere." He started towards the house they were sharing, as he thought he'd indeed have to go back to Kagome's apartment. The detour would take considerable time, yet it was a pleasant idea.
"Don't bother; they've closed the house," Shippo explained.
InuYasha halted his steps, then looked at the boy, before going back to the bag he was carrying. Only then did he understand just how few belongings they kept in the place.
"That so." Was all he could say before the news. He looked once again towards the house, distinguishing that yellow color of the tape sealing it.
Shippo made a speculative sound, then spoke, "We knew it would happen someday, didn't we?" his words came with a resigned smile.
InuYasha nodded, considering their situation. He understood then, that his time to be happy had come at an end, and that now he had to start thinking about his next steps, to take care of Shippo.
"Take the bag and let's go," he voiced then.
"Where?" Shippo inquired as he did as told.
"You'll spend the night at Myoga's," he started forward once again, waiting for the boy to follow.
"Eh, wait; there is also some of your stuff in here," Shippo complained, yet amusement in his tone. InuYasha looked back, smiling upon checking that the boy's mood was rarely spoiled. He shortened the couple of steps between them, and took the bag before resuming their way.
"C'mon, let's go," he spurred him once more.
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Kagome was in her room, laying on her bed, completely immersed in the images crossing her mind. Perhaps, she should be more cautious, to try and not get so excited, but the truth was that she was elated. The euphoria of what InuYasha and she had shared, was still present in her body and emotions, managing to make time just pass her by without her knowing. Her skin still could bristle on end before recalling the feeling of having him inside her, the way how he would shake, repeat her name, and look into her eyes with a febrile intensity. She sighed, an instinctive gesture that always helped her calm herself down. Laying sideways, she curled in on herself, noting how her anxiety grew from the mere memory of the moment InuYasha had left. She recalled the image of their hands, joined in an intimate, almost tender gesture; a minimal contact, agreed upon to gather the necessary strength to be apart. Even so, before that pact, InuYasha couldn't stop performing a gentle caress with his thumbs.
"I don't want to go," he had confessed, as his gaze remained on her hands in his.
"Don't go." Kagone had the impetuous sensation that nothing else mattered, aside from the two of them.
She had heard his smile, and words then, "Don't tempt me." That request seemed to contain promises that made her skin stand on end.
When they finally were able to let go of their hands, Kagome felt an emptiness as cold as the darkness, and understood then, that some individuals meet, while others, find each other. They seemed to had found each other on first sight, and there was no force in the universe that could make her think differently.
She leaned forward and kissed him, her touch received openly, without hesitation.
That kiss was intense, and contained. They both knew there was no more time for sharing moments like these that day. After that, they had said their goodbyes, with the promise of seeing each other soon.
And even now, amidst the memory of that moment, she could feel her skin becoming sensitive.
Kagome stood from the bed, missing his warmth and the remembrances she was now keeping at bay. However, she couldn't keep herself bound to that place anymore. Her gaze fell on the desk with the drawing she had begun a while ago, and was still but a rough sketch of what she wished to make. At first, she took the sheet of paper, and wanted to capture the beautiful expression of InuYasha when desire filled him. Yet, the mere memory felt so intimate that she felt overwhelmed, and unable to create something like it.
She heard the main door opening, and Ayumi's voice.
"Kagome?" Her name came from the small room before their entrance. Her friend was most likely taking off her shoes.
"I'm in my room," she raised her voice slightly, so she could be heard through the opened door.
Next, she went to meet her friend, who looked at her as she left on the kitchen's table, a paper bag that Kagome guessed it was a sort of sweet for dinner, one of those Ayumi liked to have on weekends.
"How's your family?" Kagome tried to preempt any of her possible questions. Even more that day; she wasn't about to mention anything of what had happened with InuYasha.
"Fine; mom asked for you, and is expecting you to visit soon," Ayumi said, on the way to her room.
Kagome stuck her back to the wall of the short corridor, letting her pass. She was feeling strange, as if anyone, with just one look, could know about InuYasha and her.
"How was your day? Did your guest come in the end?" Ayumi asked with caution, as she observed the door to her room, as if expecting to find someone in there.
"It was a good day." Kagome reprimanded herself for giving an answer like that. What would Ayumi think now? Was it too obvious?
"It was a good day?" Her friend repeated in a softer, yet spurring tone.
Kagome noted how the heat went all the way up her cheeks, and before the voiceless confession of her thoughts, she could only try to deviate the topic.
"What did you bring?" She neared the paper bag Ayumi had left on the kitchen.
"Don't try to dodge it, Kagome." She heard the girl's warning, who was clearly shortening the distance in her direction.
"Dodge? Me? What?" She knew her answer was doing nothing but confirm that she was indeed hiding something.
"What happened with your friend."
Friend. Kagome repeated in her mind, a label that was all too inadequate.
"His name is InuYasha." She sought to highlight his name, so that Ayumi could begin to understand that he, indeed, was becoming part of her life.
What they had shared this day could not be something fleeting, for in each caress there was an implicit compromise, about what one felt for the other; Kagome comprehended it as such. She could not consider herself ready to share what she had just lived, and that was the reason behind her reticence to talk to about it with Ayumi, who was among her best friends.
"Yes, InuYasha. I'm sorry," the girl apologized, trying adopt a kinder behavior.
A silence fell on the apartment then, one so heavy and confusing that both girls noted its weight, in the unmanifested ideas. Kagome took the paper bag her friend had brought, and opened it to discover a few sweets made of rice inside.
"What's its flavor?" She made that simple question, in order to lighten the mood.
"Two of strawberry paste, while the other two are filled with chocolate." Her words lacked spirit.
Kagome knew her friend wouldn't insist with her questions, and that she was probably feeling down, due to how guarded she was being about her life. Since high school, they had told each other everything; from the first kiss Ayumi had given to a boy a year above hers, to the quasi obsession she had with the character she often drew. It was because of that, that this moment had become tense, and almost dividing between them.
"Want me to prepare something to drink?" Kagome wondered, docile; she didn't want, not in the slightest, for her friend to think she didn't trust her.
"If you want." The lack of enthusiasm was evident in the tone of her words.
Kagome understood then, that she had to say something, yet she wasn't sure of how to do it. She brought out a recipient to heat up water, then looked for two cups to serve tea. Remaining still for an instant, her gaze fell on the cups she was holding on both her hands, and on their design of magnolias, which she and Ayumi had chosen at a store, during the first week they had spent living together. She turned around, and looked at her friend, who was now sitting by one side of the table, in the living room, her focus on her phone, using the device as a way to distract herself. Kagome sought the will to voice what was in her heart in that moment.
"Ayumi," her friend lifter her gaze, "you are incredibly important to me," she began to say, "and I don't want you to think I don't trust you." She went silent then, for a short instant, seeking the necessary calm to proceed. "What I feel for InuYasha is so deeply rooted in my heart, that I have no words to say it."
Her friend observed her for a moment that seemed longer than what it really was.
"I think you've already told me everything actually, just with that." Ayumi's words came with a smile, sweet and tender, one that made Kagome think that Ayumi, indeed, was quite like her mother.
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To be continued.
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A/N
I'm in a cloud right now, with this chapter and the previous ones. To reach crucial parts in a story is always a challenge, and a source of satisfaction. I hope you are enjoying KOTODAMA, and that you tell me in the comments.
Kisses
Anyara
This text is possible thanks to the translation of: Dezart