Torchwood: Divergence
Book Four: Hatchweliad
Chapter 14

Things had been amazingly quiet through the day. Ianto had stayed in the bedroom with his little black and white shadow until the bones had finished moving into their correct positions; the pain of the breaks fusing, muscles and tendons reattaching, and external wounds sealing promising to be nowhere near as horrific. Still, he'd remained out of the way, having given Hardd a good long cuddle on his lap before she'd trotted to the en suite shower and disappeared in a hot flare of Scieron portal light. Jack had been with him most of the time, occasionally wandering out to get progress reports or something to drink from the kitchenette. Around 5:00 pm, the pair had asked Turlough to do a re-bandage and brace tightening on the younger man's leg after a quick shower, then simply settled on the bed with the throw to talk while they waited to see if the Rift intended to act up again.

"So…" Harkness murmured, idly toying with his companion's damp hair as they snuggled together atop the covers. "Tell me about your brush with the law when you were fifteen. I mean, shoplifting? You?"

"I was looking at clothes in the Top Man shop in Newport," the young Welshman shrugged. "I had money I'd saved from odd jobs, allowance, that sort of thing. I wanted a shirt and trousers that really fit and weren't the awful things my mom kept insisting on buying for me. But when I tried a couple of things on, I noticed that they had crooked seams, loose buttons, inoperable zippers… really crap merchandise considering the shop and how much they were charging. So, I took the items out and asked for the manager.

"I was showing him the shoddy work and complaining about the inflated prices, got the attention of some other shoppers who took a closer look and sounded off as well. The manager called me a 'loud-mouthed prick' and dragged me out of the front of the shop, then yelled for Security and told them I'd tried to walk out without paying after upsetting his other customers, and demanded they call the police. I got hauled to the precinct, remanded to a cell for the weekend because I told the constables and the adjudicator they were all stupid for believing the old goat's story without asking the other patrons what really happened. And they didn't like my saying the PC's lack of investigation because I was a 'grubby Estate brat' was probably the reason there were so many unsolved cases hanging over their heads. I got 'talked to' by their Captain and roughed up a bit when they let me out, sent home without an actual dock date, but having a conviction posted against my name and stuck with four weeks of community service nonetheless to 'teach the little Estate bastard a lesson'. Then I finished the day having my dad beat the crap out of me, because mom had him so wound up over everything that he snapped."

"So, they didn't believe you when you told them what really happened?" Jack asked quietly, feeling the twenty-six-year-old beside him start to shiver again.

"Never got the chance to explain," Ianto stated evenly. "Wasn't much point after I was bruised black and told never to do or mention it again because he was so overwhelmingly ashamed of me. That was pretty much when things went bad with my dad though… he never did listen to me, and after that I stopped even trying to talk to him. Later, I didn't know what to say, so I just kept quiet. Even when he was dying. I thought it was better to just have the same silence between us, rather than risk the last words we ever spoke being another argument or him telling me what a worthless failure I was."

"Not a good place to be at that age and not exactly ideal parenting," the older immortal frowned, shifting to kiss his partner on the temple and hold him a little closer. "What about your sister? Didn't you tell her the truth?"

"Rhi was engaged to Johnny by then," Ianto breathed. "We were already sort of drifting apart. She didn't want to hear what really happened, just told me to be more careful and not get caught the next time, then went back to planning her wedding. Invitations and flowers were more important than my being bashed for something I didn't actually do."

"Was it the same when that drunken friend of hers assaulted you?" Harkness wondered aloud, beginning to understand more of why his beloved Archivist so rarely brought up his family.

"Never told her," the Changeling confessed with a wince. "She would've blamed me anyhow; said I'd encouraged it or some such rubbish. So, I just didn't bother saying anything to anyone, since her friend had been too pissed to remember what she'd done."

"Tell me," Jack urged quietly, reaching under the throw to take up his lover's nearest hand in a comforting grip.

"Why?" Ianto murmured, a sickly shudder running through his body at the memory. "I'd just turned seventeen and it was stupid."

"It wasn't stupid, it was a crime," the Captain insisted, using his free hand to pull the chenille throw closer around the younger man. "And the way you trembled just now tells me it was a bad enough experience to still disturb you to an alarming degree. So, talking to me about it, getting it out in the open, might help."

"Or it might make you decide you never should've gotten involved with me in the first place," the young Welshman whispered. "I mean, how pathetic is it for a young man getting ready to start University to say he lost his virginity because he was taken advantage of by a twenty-five-year-old who'd had way too many gin and tonics?"

"I won't know unless you tell me what happened," Harkness persisted gently, genuinely curious about the incident and knowing deep down that finally being able to share the event would help diminish its power to distress his partner in years to come. "You said you were visiting your sister. How did she not know what was going on?"

"I was helping them finish up moving into the place on the Cromwell Estate they had during the whole 456 situation," Ianto sighed, well aware that his companion wasn't going to let the subject go at this point. "It was the weekend, mom and dad were watching the baby, I was going to sleep on the floor in the room that became Mica's later. Start on Friday night, get everything done by Sunday afternoon, then they'd drop me off when they went to fetch little David. Come Saturday evening though, we were pretty much finished and they decided to have friends over for a party to celebrate the new house since the baby wasn't there to disturb with the noise. I stayed in the room with my CD player and read, their friends didn't impress me much and I wasn't interested in more than a couple sips of beer back then. Around 8:30, Rhi came to tell me they were all going down to the local and wouldn't be back till late. That she'd told one of her friends she could sleep on the couch over night; so not to be surprised if she was there come morning. I reminded her not to drive, promised to leave a light on for them and not to pester the guest the next day. So, off they all went, I had a late snack sometime after and planned to be asleep by 10:00 once I'd taken a nice hot shower."

He paused, that same shudder going through him again.

"What went wrong?" Jack prodded softly, stroking the back of his Guardian's hand with his thumb.

"I'd… stripped down for my shower, was looking at the huge bruises on my right arm and chest I'd gotten when Johnny nearly dropped their chest of drawers on the way up the stairs," Ianto continued after a moment, obviously uncomfortable with the subject. "I didn't recall what he'd said about the lock on the door not working till I'd just reached to turn on the water and suddenly heard it open behind me. I could smell the alcohol immediately, yelled that room was occupied, and turned around to find Rhi's friend closing the door with a big grin on her face. I grabbed a towel, told her to leave, but she just laughed and kept saying 'let's have a bit of fun'. The room was too small for me to get past her, every time I tried to push her away she'd try to grab my hand and put it under her skirt or blouse because she wasn't wearing a bra or panties.

"I started to panic, shouted for Rhi and Johnny, but they weren't with her. She'd come back alone to crash on the couch, but decided to 'have a bit of fun' first with me. I ended up tripping in an attempt to avoid her, definitely got a concussion bashing the back of my head against the edge of the enamelled iron bath, and once I was down she was all over me. I was scared and angry to the point of tears, kept asking her to stop and leave me be… but she didn't care and unfortunately neither did my hormones with her groping me. The only way she would've left me alone was if I'd decked her, which I didn't want to do because I'd've hurt her and Rhi'd've had my guts for bootlaces. So, I just tried to keep my hands away from her, closed my eyes, and hoped she'd go the fuck away. She got her 'bit of fun', I got a gash in the head, a huge case of the creeps, and an instant aversion to gin. When she finally staggered up off me, she said I was a 'good boy' like she was used to shagging the family dog or something, wandered into the hall, managed not to fall on the steps as she went, then passed out cold on the couch in the lounge area downstairs. I took a scorching shower, chucked my things into my overnight, left Rhi a note that said I wasn't comfortable alone with her 'minimally dressed guest', called a taxi and went home. Mom yelled at me for showing up without warning, dad told her to let it go, they argued loudly, so I shut them both up by saying I had a terrible headache and reminding them the baby was there and sleeping. Then I vomited in the middle of the kitchen floor."

The young Welshman took several deep but unsteady breathes, obviously needing a moment to calm his racing heartbeat to avoid a seizure.

"Mom noticed the gash when I was clearing up my mess, gave me an icepack and sent me to bed to 'sleep it off', which fortunately I knew enough to not do even if it got me shouted at again the next day for not sleeping and needing to go to A for stitches," he finally murmured. "But that was pretty much the end of it. They figured I'd gotten hurt helping with the move and never asked any questions. I couldn't stand to look at Rhi's friend when dad and I were by a couple days later to drop off some of David's things they'd left that Sunday. She didn't even know who I was, and honestly I was glad she didn't remember anything… though I really wished I didn't either."

There was quiet again in the room for several minutes.

"Okay… I told you," Ianto breathed. "Just as stupid and pathetic as promised. Happy?"

"No," Harkness replied honestly, holding the obviously traumatised twenty-six-year-old closer as though he could somehow shield him from the memories. "I'm furious. You've lived with that all these years, because your family didn't want to hear what you had to say. Sex is meant to be a wonderful, exciting, beautiful experience, Ianto… not something so traumatic it makes you throw up. I'm surprised you didn't come out of that kind of assault celibate. Everyone thinks that rape only happens to women and little kids, figure teenage boys and men will never say no to a quick shag. What a total crock of shit."

"You never say no," his partner pointed out in a barely audible whisper.

"Not until I lost you," Jack admitted. "Yeah, I was pretty much up for a quicky anytime, anywhere for decades. That declined a good bit when we got involved, and even when I was trying to push you away I wasn't in much of a casual sex mood, because I felt guilty about what I was doing to you. I had a couple of one-night encounters when I was wandering the galaxies after you were gone and the 456 were permanently removed from the picture, but they just left me depressed and missing you more.

"In all my years of 'pansexual adventures' though, I've never been forced to perform against my will, or forced the individual I was with. I enjoy sex far too much to ever sully it that way. Please, promise me that you won't let me put you in that kind of situation. If you're not in the mood, you're too tired, whatever… I don't want you to ever feel like you have to give in, yeah? Just hand be a box of tissues and tell me to go toss-off in a corner."

The final comment was meant to be very serious, but it managed to win a snicker from his lover regardless.

"I think you're safe," Ianto reassured with a tired smile. "So far, I've not been inclined to pass up any offers you've made… rather look forward to them. Must be those killer pheromones in action. Besides, you've never been other than a perfect gentleman when I've felt like crap or been hurt, which are about the only times I'm likely to refuse a bit of 'dabbling'. What happened when I was seventeen was less than pleasant and still gives me the creeps, Jack, but it didn't ruin me for life. Though it did probably kill the whole casual side of things for me. So don't worry over it. I'm fine."

"You're amazing," the American insisted, giving the younger man a quick squeeze. "You've had so many ugly things happen in your life that you've kept bottled up all this time. And you've come out on the other side of them all stable and sane, when most people would've been completely broken by just one of them in their lifetime. I've caused some of them since we met, and you always forgive me in the end. How messed up is that?"

"Pretty warped," Ianto sighed. "Guess you'll have to do something to comfort me for all that past trauma."

"I've always got plenty of medicinal kisses stocked up," Harkness offered with a tiny smirk.

"That should do well enough," the Changeling beside him nodded, then smiled the teasing little smile his partner rarely saw but loved. "For now…"

The Captain laughed and shifted to engage the eternal twenty-six-year-old in an intense snog, extremely pleased and more than willing to surrender when the Welshman turned the tables rather than let the kiss end. They were still happily engaged in fact, when Ianto suddenly gasped and pulled away, his entire body tensing with a single sharp jerk of muscles. Tears welled in his eyes and his hand tightened convulsively over his partner's fingers, a strangled moan escaping him as he panted for breath. Their moment of pleasure and comfort had just gone very wrong.

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AN: So, a bit more about Ianto's less than pleasant home life growing up… and a bit of a cliff-hanger… (oops…)

My deepest apologies for the extreme delay. The whole battery debacle took far longer to resolve than I'd hoped. All better now though, so things should go back to business as usual. Thank you for being patient.

Thank you to those reading the story. And thank you to those who have followed, favourited, and reviewed. NM