A/N: Hello everyone!
The content of this story came to me last summer when the Hanseroth Twins' first album was released and I heard the song "I'll always know I do" for the first time. I knew immediately that I had to turn it into a fanfiction and I hope I've done justice to this very sensitive subject.
I really recommend listening to the song (and their whole ablum, to be honest) if you haven't heard about it so far!
The story comprises five chapters which, as the title suggests, reflect the five stages of grief according to Kübler-Ross. It follows the series, even though no prior knowledge is really necessary. The only difference is that Emma and Regina, rather than Emma and Hook, get married.
I hope you enjoy reading it and, as always, I look forward to your feedback!
Chapter 1 - Denial
The warm rays of autumn sunshine stroked Emma's blonde hair, which she wore in an elaborate updo. Her white trouser suit flattered her slim figure and hinted at her muscular shoulders underneath. Her hands clasped together in front of her stomach, she looked down the aisle where Regina was striding towards her.
Regina's white dress almost brushed the floor and swayed gently with every step she took. Two thin straps held it on her shoulders and the light fabric was held at the waist by a silver belt. The tips of her dark curls brushed gently over her bare shoulders. Her hands held a bouquet of sunflowers.
Emma had the impression that an angel was floating towards her and, judging by the murmuring Ahs and Ohs, Regina had this effect on more than just her. Emma returned the brunette's smile. She could hardly believe that they were actually standing here and about to say I do to each other. They had hated each other and learned to love each other and had kept monsters, villains and other threats away from Storybrooke all this time. The threat of the Black Fairy still hovered over them, but at that moment Emma didn't think about the visions of her death haunting her. She didn't think about the fact that she might still have a battle to fight. Her only thought was of the beautiful woman who had just stepped up to her side and come to a halt opposite her. "Hi," she whispered, her smile widening.
"Hi," Regina replied in a whisper and looked into Emma's green eyes.
Archie, who was standing ready to perform the ceremony, looked back and forth between the two of them. "Are you ready?"
A giggle ran through the rows of family and friends, who stared expectantly at the brides.
"Sorry, of course," Emma nodded curtly and then turned her gaze back to Regina. She gently placed her hands over the brunette's so that they were both clutching the bouquet. When Archie opened the ceremony and said a few words, Emma immediately switched her thoughts off again and focused on her future wife. She had longed for this moment, wished for it so much and now it was actually happening. She was marrying the woman she loved at that very moment. Just a few years ago, she had never even dared to dream that she would meet someone she wanted to spend the rest of her life with, and even less did she believe that she would have the support of a large family and numerous friends.
"And now I won't bore you any longer with my ramblings. It's time for your vows," said Archie, bringing Emma back to the here and now. "Regina, would you please start?"
Regina nodded briefly and then turned her chocolate-brown eyes on Emma. At first, she didn't say a word, but then she lightly moistened her lips with her tongue and tightened her grip on the bouquet and Emma's hand. "I hated you when I didn't even know you and that didn't change when you turned up on my doorstep with Henry. We fought each other and were never at a loss to get back at each other. And then the day came when you found out who I really was. The Evil Queen. And although you were told things about me that were too vile to say, you realized that I was no longer that person, that I wanted to change. I was never the Evil Queen to you. To you, I wasn't the person from the stories who caused grief and suffering. To you, I was always just Regina and you can't imagine how grateful I am to you for not reducing me to my past, but for seeing the person I am now. We hated each other when we first met, but then we realized that we were more alike than we thought possible. I allowed myself to love you and I'm glad I did because I can't imagine spending another day without you in this world. You brought light and warmth into my life when I thought that was no longer possible and for that I will be forever grateful." Regina's voice broke on her last word and tears shimmered in her eyes, but she still smiled and gently squeezed Emma's hand.
The blonde took a deep breath. "Phew, that's going to be hard to top," she mumbled just loud enough for Regina and Archie to hear.
"You don't have to. The time for competitions is over," Regina replied gently.
Emma nodded and took another deep breath before raising her voice. "I've spent my whole life believing that my family didn't want me and threw me away like garbage. No one wanted to adopt me either. Neal, who I was madly in love with, left me. At some point, I was convinced that it was my fault. That I just wasn't lovable enough. That no one could ever love me. When Henry turned up on my doorstep, my world fell apart at the seams. Suddenly I had a child that didn't know me but loved me anyway and before I knew it, I had an entire small town behind me. Regina, we may have hated each other, but I sensed from the start that there was more between us. I found it exciting to compete with you and was eager to see what your next move would be and how I would face it. You made my heart race whenever you showed up. It wasn't love from the start, but it was fierce feelings I felt for you. You understood me like no one else could and I'm glad you want to share your life with me so I never have to feel like I'm alone again." As she finished her vow, she saw her mother take out a handkerchief and bury her face in it for a brief moment out of the corner of her eye, but that image soon faded into the background as Regina's lips quivered and a tear rolled down her cheek.
"You'll never be alone again," she promised her, whispering.
"So would you, Emma Swan, like to take Regina Mills as your wife?" Archie now asked.
"Absolutely," smiled Emma.
"And would you, Regina Mills, like to take Emma Swan as your wife?" he then turned to the brunette.
"Yes, I do," Regina nodded and returned Emma's expression.
"Then it's time to exchange your rings."
Emma was so excited that the ring, which consisted of delicate golden ivy tendrils, trembled in her fingers when she put it on Regina.
She couldn't help it, however, and it was only when Emma took the flowers from her and was able to use both hands that she managed to put the ring on Emma's finger.
"I now pronounce you wife and wife. You may now kiss!" shouted Archie, beaming, his words almost drowned out by the cheering and clapping of the wedding party.
Emma's lips collided so violently with Regina's that she wondered if they would ever be able to let go of each other again. She held her in her arms, her wife, and she didn't think she had ever felt happier in her life than she did at that moment.
"I'm so happy," Regina said at that moment, struggling to catch her breath and wrapping her arms around her neck.
"I am too," Emma replied and hugged her tightly. "Now we just have to find a way to get rid of all these people," she joked.
Regina's warm laughter rang out. "I wouldn't have thought you capable of so much malice, Miss Swan."
"I've just learned from the best," she grinned mischievously. "And if so, then Misses, if you don't mind."
"Well, I can hardly argue with that."
"I'm glad, because we don't have time for a discussion at the moment," Emma replied, now playing serious. "We're expected to open the dance floor." In fact, she already recognized the sounds of the waltz they had chosen floating through the evening sky. "May I have the pleasure, Mrs. Swan-Mills?" Smiling, she held out a hand to her.
Regina took it and let Emma pull her into a dancing position and twirl her across the roof.
Emma felt the gentle breeze and Regina's breath on her cheek and forgot once again that they were not alone. She was caught up in the dance, in which there seemed to be only the two of them. After a while, however, she felt a touch on her arm and looked into her son's eyes as she broke free from the spell.
"Can I take Mom away from you for a while and dance with her?" the boy asked with a broad smile on his face.
"How could I say no?" Emma grinned and handed Regina over to him. "Just take good care of her." Grinning, she pressed another kiss to Regina's lips before her wife danced off with Henry.
"Congratulations, honey," came David's voice next to Emma.
She turned to him and wrapped her arms around his neck, standing slightly on her tiptoes. "Thank you, Dad," she whispered in his ear.
"Would you give your old Dad this dance?" he asked her after they had separated and held out his hand to her in invitation.
Emma placed hers in his and nodded. "Tradition is tradition."
No sooner had the two of them joined the throngs of dancers, however, than a dark rumble rolled across the sky, causing several outcries and giving everyone pause. The music stopped abruptly and it was Grumpy who was the first to raise his arm and point at the swathes of dark magic billowing menacingly towards them. "Another curse! It's here!" he shouted.
Panicked, Emma let go of her father and let her gaze wander searchingly over the many people. She turned in all directions, but couldn't see Regina or her son's brown mop of hair anywhere. "Regina! Henry!" she shouted frantically, but her cries were drowned by those of the others who were trying to escape down the stairs into the building, pushing each other aside and also calling for their loved ones. "Regina!" Emma shouted again and finally she saw her white dress flashing across the roof towards her.
Regina had climbed onto the small stage that had been erected especially for the band and stretched her arms towards the sky, towards the threatening magic.
"Regina! What are you doing?" shouted Emma, now beside herself with fear for her wife. She didn't care who she elbowed out of the way on her way to her; she frantically made her way through, but white beams of light were already shooting up into the sky from Regina's hands, creating a shockwave that threw everyone in the vicinity backwards. Emma hit her back roughly on the hard concrete and gasped a few times before she managed to pull herself up into a sitting position and look around.
The other guests were no different. People were lying around everywhere, holding their heads, butts and backs.
A glance at the sky told Emma that the dark cloud of magic had disappeared. Once again, only the sunset was visible, bathing the scene in a reddish light.
The silence was broken only by the soft moans and gasps of people trying to get back on their feet.
Emma used the moment to get up again and fight her way to the stage. Her eyes wandered searchingly over it until she finally spotted her wife, who was no longer standing on the edge but lying curled up on her side in the far corner. Emma quickened her pace again, her heart pounding wildly in her chest. "Regina!" Panicked, she dropped to her knees beside her and turned her onto her back. Her trembling fingers frantically felt for a pulse and thankfully found it rhythmic and strong after a few seconds. A whimper of relief escaped Emma as she sat down and pulled Regina's limp body into her lap.
"Ma!" Henry's voice rang out. The boy skidded to a halt next to his mothers, his face pale as a sheet. "Ma... Is she...?" he asked in horror, unable to finish the sentence.
"She's just unconscious," Emma reassured her son, even though she was sure her skin color didn't look much better than his. "I haven't been able to find any external injuries yet either."
"What did she do? What was that anyway?"
Emma shrugged her shoulders in despair. "I have no idea. Apparently, the Black Fairy's showdown. Possibly a curse, but at least an evil spell. I don't know what Regina did there, but it seems to have been successful." Once again, Emma let her gaze wander over the deceptively clear sky. She still didn't fully trust the peace.
"Maybe we should bring her inside?" Henry finally suggested when it didn't look as if Regina was going to regain consciousness any time soon.
Emma looked indecisively at her still unconscious wife. "I don't know... Maybe she has internal injuries and we shouldn't move her unnecessarily."
"Should I call a doctor?" Henry wanted to know instead.
But there was no need for Emma to answer when Regina began to stir slightly. At first her eyelids twitched, then she moved her hands and finally she opened her eyes and stared at the sky above her.
Emma sighed with relief and stroked the strands of hair from her forehead. "Hey," she whispered, trying not to overwhelm her. "How are you?"
Regina's dark eyes darted around unfocused at first before lingering on Emma's face. "What's wrong?" she wanted to know in a brittle voice.
"That's what we wanted to know from you," Emma admitted and stroked her cheek. "Apparently the Black Fairy attacked us with a spell and you stopped it. Are you in pain?"
Regina shook her head slowly and looked up at Henry. "Where are we?"
"Still at the wedding," Henry replied, looking around. "But people are starting to calm down, thankfully. Many have left, but those who are still here look unharmed."
Regina took a deep breath and sat up.
"Take it easy, okay?" Emma asked her, wrapping an arm around her shoulders.
"You idiot!" Regina's sister's screeching reached her ears even before the red-haired witch came into view. "What were you thinking?" With her hands on her hips, Zelena came stomping up and stood in front of the three of them, snorting and with reddening cheeks, her silky green dress billowing. "You could have killed yourself! Where did you get the idea to neutralize a Dark Curse?"
Confused, Regina held her head and shook it. "I have no idea what this is about," she finally admitted and closed her eyes, exhausted.
"I'm going to take you home, you need to rest," Emma decided and pressed a kiss to her cheek.
Startled, Regina opened her eyes and flinched away from her. She looked her wife in the face in horror. "Who are you?"
"I'm... What?" Emma stammered, searching Regina's gaze for the joke, expecting her to grin and tease her for falling for it at any moment, but nothing of the sort happened.
Instead, Regina's eyes stared at her impassively and then slid to the other two. "You look familiar," she said as her gaze lingered on Henry. She grabbed her head again and looked around. "Where are we?"
With a queasy feeling in their stomachs, Henry and Emma looked at each other before the boy turned back to his other mother. "We're still at the wedding. On the roof of the loft."
"Who's getting married?" Regina inquired.
Emma's heart was in her mouth. "We have to take her home. I'm sure she'll feel better once she's slept," she stammered.
"I don't want to go to Leopold, he'll lock me up again because I didn't tell him where I was going," Regina whined in response, wrapping her arms around herself.
Zelena squatted down in front of her sister, put a hand on her chin and turned her face so that she could look her in the eyes. Although Regina resisted, she was merciless and only let go of her when she had finished her observation. "Her pupils look normal, nothing to suggest that the remnants of the spell are still raging inside her. Maybe it's just an after-effect of all the power she's expended."
Emma noticed that Zelena sounded anything but certain. She felt hot and cold at the same time. A moment ago, they had sworn to love each other forever and now Regina couldn't even remember who she was, let alone that they had just got married. "Or maybe an effect of her fall after all? Just because her pupils look normal doesn't mean she hasn't hit her head and injured herself."
"So, what do you suggest?" Zelena wanted to know.
"I never thought I'd say this, but I won't be reassured until Whale has checked her over," Emma replied firmly, leaning down to Regina. "You collapsed and probably hit your head. Would it be all right if we took you to the hospital? Just to be on the safe side."
"Where to?" Regina asked, before examining Emma more closely. "Do I know you?"
Emma took a deep breath, took her hands and looked her in the eye. "I am Emma. Your wife. Do you remember me? We just got married."
Regina's eyes widened in horror and she shook her head, her appearance even paler than before. "I'm married to Leopold! Don't let him hear such things or he'll punish us all!"
Emma shook her head, trying to remain calm. "That was many years ago. You're no longer married to him. Leopold is no longer alive. You're with me now. This is Henry, our son. And this is Zelena, your sister," she explained, pointing to each of them in turn.
"I think it's too much for her right now," Zelena mumbled as Regina's expression became more and more confused and she finally stood up and turned away from the three of them like a sleepwalker.
Emma paced back and forth worriedly for a few steps before following Regina. "Hey, it's okay that you don't know what's going on right now. You saved us all from a powerful spell. But even if you can't remember it right now: you can trust me. I want to help you," she tried another way and held out a hand to her.
Regina stared at the hand offered to her and then looked out over the town. "Where are we?"
"Storybrooke. We live here now," Emma explained patiently.
"Storybrooke." As if testing out the name, Regina slowly repeated each of the syllables. "Who are you?"
The blonde bit her lip. "I'm Emma. You can trust me."
"Emma! Oh, thank God, you're all right!"
Both Emma and Regina wheeled around at the sound of Snow's voice. "Mom, are you guys okay too? Where are Dad and Neal?"
"David brought Neal down to the apartment. Are you all unharmed?" she wanted to know.
Emma stared uncertainly at Regina and then back at her mother. "So far, yes. But Regina must have overdone it a bit with the counter spell." She noticed how she trivialized the situation. In her eyes, overdone it a bit didn't really hit the mark. Rather, she felt as if her world had just collapsed.
"Hello, Snow," Regina suddenly said.
Emma, Zelena and Henry stared at Regina in disbelief.
"What, but...?", Zelena gasped.
Emma, on the other hand, caught herself a little more quickly. "You're the only one she's recognized so far. She doesn't remember us and thinks she's still married to your father. Can you tell her that we want to help her and that she can trust us? I want to take her to the hospital," she whispered to her mother.
"She doesn't remember you?" Snow was horrified to make sure she had heard her correctly.
Emma nodded and lowered her eyes. "Maybe you can get through to her."
Snow nodded and straightened her shoulders before stepping next to Regina. "Hello, Regina. How are you feeling?"
The question seemed to unsettle the brunette. Her eyes wandered across the roof, where there were hardly any people left, looking for help. "My head hurts," she finally admitted. "Where are we?"
"You fell," Snow explained slowly and took her hand in hers. She patted it gently. "That's why you have a headache. It would be better if a doctor looked at it," she explained gently.
At first Regina didn't react, but eventually she nodded her head slowly. "All right."
"You know, there are special houses here where doctors examine the sick and injured. Emma here would like to take you there if you agree. She's very worried about you. You can trust her."
When Regina's gaze brushed Emma's, the blonde thought she saw a brief flash of recognition in her eyes, but just as quickly as it had come, it was gone again.
"I don't know her," Regina finally said.
"But I know her," Snow replied. "And you do too, actually. You just don't remember her at the moment. That's why I want a doctor to look at your head, all right? You're very important to Emma and so is she to you."
Regina looked at Emma again for a long time. "Is that true?" she then asked her.
Emma nodded and took a step closer to her. "I want the best for you."
It was easy to see how much effort it took Regina not to pull away immediately. Her grip on Snow's hand tightened, however.
"Snow can come with us if you want," Emma suggested, even though her heart ached at the scene.
"All right," Regina finally gave in.
"You should wait in the apartment," Snow whispered to Zelena and Henry when they wanted to join them.
Emma nodded quickly to the two of them when she noticed that a protest was brewing. She could understand that Zelena wanted to be with her sister and Henry with his mother, but the way Regina was behaving at the moment, they were lucky she was going with someone she didn't know. "I'll call you as soon as I know more," she promised in a whisper and followed Snow, who had her arm around Regina, downstairs. She would have preferred to magically transport them all to the hospital, but she could well imagine that she would scare Regina even more than she already was. She was all the more surprised that Regina got into her car without batting an eyelid. She had expected her to ask where the horse-drawn carriage was, as she obviously thought she was living in the past, but that wasn't the case. She didn't necessarily look relaxed, but neither did she look as excited as someone who had just seen a car for the first time.
On the drive to the hospital, Regina's head sank onto Snow's shoulder.
Snow stroked her daughter-in-law's arm reassuringly and let her be. Her brows were drawn tensely together, however, as she met her daughter's gaze in the rear-view mirror.
As they entered the hospital, Regina clung tightly to Snow's arm again and looked around anxiously.
Emma was glad that it was now evening and not very busy, so they were the only ones in the Emergency Room apart from one other person. "I'm going to register you," she explained to Regina, pointing to the counter where a nurse was working on the computer. "Hi," she said and waited for her to raise her eyes.
"Good evening," the nurse replied and, after a few final clicks, turned her full attention to the blonde. "How can I help you? Congratulations on your marriage," she then added when she noticed the new arrivals' get-up.
"Thank you," Emma replied curtly. "We need Dr. Whale. The mayor has neutralized a curse and now has memory lapses. We want to make sure that she hasn't suffered any other damage apart from the weakening caused by the spell," she reeled off quickly, hoping that she wouldn't have to give any more rambling explanations.
The nurse raised an eyebrow and leaned past Emma to catch a glimpse of Regina, who was sitting next to Snow in one of the chairs, staring dully ahead of her. "I'll call him. Just a moment, please."
Sighing with relief, Emma walked over to her companions and took a seat on Regina's other side. She wanted to take her hand, but didn't dare. Ever since Snow had told her that Emma was not a threat, she didn't seem quite so suspicious of her, but she clearly still didn't feel comfortable. "How are you feeling now?" Emma still wanted to know.
Regina didn't respond, but continued to stare silently into space.
Emma hesitantly stroked her back lightly.
At least she didn't flinch as expected, but Regina didn't show that she had perceived Emma's tenderness as such.
Before Emma could speak to her again, Whale entered the waiting room and the blonde immediately jumped up from her chair.
"Emma, Regina, Snow," Whale nodded to the three women in turn and his eyebrows raised in amusement as he eyed the wedding outfits. "Has the champagne gone to your head, or why am I seeing you in the ER on your wedding day?"
"You need to examine Regina's head," Emma said without hesitation. "She stopped a powerful curse and has had gaps in her memory ever since. Maybe amnesia or something," Emma repeated what she had already told the nurse.
"Hm," Whale hummed, turning his attention to the brunette. "Madam Mayor, can you tell me what day it is?"
Regina returned his gaze before looking around the large room. "Where are we?"
Whale raised his eyebrows again and scratched his temple. "I understand the problem. Unfortunately, I don't think there's anything I can do if her condition is, as you say, magical in nature."
"Zelena checked to see if there was any dark magic left in her and there isn't!" Emma almost shouted at him. "She also fell and was unconscious. Maybe her head was injured," she said, stepping so close to Whale that she could smell the peppermints on his breath. "So do your damn job and examine her," she hissed at him menacingly.
Whale merely took a step back and raised his hands in mock defense. "Fine, fine for my sake. Then come with me. But I assure you that CTs and MRIs won't show any magic," he said, rolling his eyes, and made his way to the elevators.
Snow gently pulled Regina up from her chair and led her behind the doctor, who had already been followed by Emma.
When they arrived at the radiology department, Whale stopped abruptly, crossed his arms in front of his chest and shook his head. "This far and no further. Only the patient has any business in there. You two," he said, pointing at Emma and Snow," will wait out here."
"She won't let herself be examined if she's alone," Snow replied.
"Well, we have a problem now, I guess," Whale said, pressing his lips together.
"I'm coming in with you. I'm her wife and therefore family," Emma's replied. "I don't care about your rules. This isn't even a real town. So, pull the stick out of your ass and let me in."
"You should work on your choice of words, Ms. Swan," Whale said dismissively, but finally stepped aside to let the two women pass.
Regina, who seemed to be in a kind of lethargy by now, didn't even fuss when Snow wriggled her arm out of her grasp and Emma led her on instead. Only when they arrived at the CT scanner and she was told to lie down on the examination table did she come to life again. "What are you doing to me?" she asked anxiously.
"The doctor is examining you here. All you have to do is lie on there and keep absolutely still. It will only take a few minutes. I'll be here," Emma explained calmly and squeezed her hand.
Regina's eyes returned Emma's gaze and she finally calmed down a little. "You look kind of familiar," she said thoughtfully.
Emma couldn't stop a hopeful little smile from creeping onto her face. Her heartbeat quickened and she nodded. "I'm Emma."
"Emma," she tried out her name. "Yes, I think I once knew someone with the same name," Regina said and lay down on the examination table.
Once again, it was like a punch in the gut for the blonde that her wife obviously couldn't remember her. But it hadn't been an hour since the Black Fairy had crashed their wedding, so she pushed her concerns aside and let Whale help her into the lead apron she had to wear during the scans if she wanted to stay in the room. "You don't have to be scared, but if you do get anxious, you can talk to me. I'm right next to you," she said when the doctor had disappeared behind the glass wall to operate the machine.
"There was a wedding," Regina suddenly replied.
More hope sprouted in Emma. "Yes, our wedding."
"We danced," Regina mumbled.
"You have to be quiet if you want me to take sharp pictures," Whale complained over the intercom.
Emma could have cursed him even more at that moment than she usually did. At last, a few flashes of memory seemed to come back to Regina, so he had to interrupt.
Regina let the procedure pass in silence and looked questioningly at Emma as Whale moved the table out of the machine again.
"You got through it," said the blonde with an encouraging smile. "Have you remembered anything else?"
"Where are we? Who are you?" Regina asked as her fingers nervously fiddled with her dress.
Emma's courage sank as she answered her question again and took off her apron.
"I don't like it here," Regina realized. "I want to go home."
"Soon," Emma nodded and looked at Whale eagerly as he rejoined them. "Well?"
Whale hesitated and looked at Regina for a long time as she stroked her hand over the metal surface of a side table, lost in thought. "We will have to do an MRI," he finally said briefly, addressing Emma.
"Do you really have to?" she groaned. "It's noisy in there and the examination takes ages. I don't think she'll lie still for that long at the moment, as you've just seen for yourself. Can't we do this when she's feeling better?"
"I'm afraid not," replied Whale.
Emma's brows drew together and curiosity, fear and confusion fought it out inside her. "Why not? What's going on? What did you see?"
"I'm not sure. That's why the MRI," was all he said.
Cursing under her breath, Emma looked at Regina. The sight of her almost brought tears to her eyes. There was nothing left of her professional, firm demeanor. She looked as flighty and vulnerable as a child. "All right... And how do we do this?"
"I would suggest sedating her," he explained.
Emma opened her mouth to protest, but Whale silenced her with a wave of his hand.
"You're right: she'll never lie still for that long and I have no use for blurred scans. As soon as I switch on the magnet, she'll go crazy from the loud noises. Or from the tightness in there. Or from everything combined. But if I give her a light sedative, she simply sleeps for three quarters of an hour and that helps everyone."
The fact that Whale spoke to her so calmly and matter-of-factly scared Emma. She really wondered what he had seen on the CT scan that had suddenly made him so sociable and human.
"She's your wife, I need your consent for this again."
Emma took a deep breath. She hadn't even dreamed of having to make medical decisions for Regina just two hours after their wedding. "Okay. Do it," she finally nodded.
After Regina, with some shouting and coaxing, had an IV in her arm and was asleep in the MRI machine, Emma returned to the waiting area, where she instantly fell into her mother's arms.
"Oh, sweetie," Snow sighed, stroking her hair. "Where's Regina?"
"In the MRI. Whale sedated her because she wouldn't lie still enough otherwise," Emma explained and ran the back of her hand over her eyes, which were full of unshed tears, before sitting down in a free chair.
"Does he have any idea what's wrong with her?"
"I think so. His behavior after he saw the CT scans was pretty worrying. But he didn't say anything. He just kept saying he had to get the MRI first. Mom, what if she hurt herself really bad? I should have stopped her, but I didn't manage to get to her in time. What am I supposed to tell Henry?"
"The truth. And you don't know it at the moment. Calm down and wait and see what Whale tells you. That's all you can do now," Snow reassured her.
Although Emma knew her mother was right, the wait was driving her crazy. The minutes crept by unbearably slowly and after a while she wondered if the clock was broken when, after what felt like an eternity, only five minutes had passed. When she spotted a dirty stain on her white trousers, she turned her attention to it and wiped at it with a handkerchief to kill time. The stain itself was of little concern to her.
At last, the door opened again and Regina, still asleep, was pushed past them on a stretcher by a nurse. Whale then joined them in the corridor.
"Where are you taking her?" Emma wanted to know immediately.
"Recovery room. We'll monitor her there until the sedative is out of her system," the doctor explained. "In the meantime, we should have a chat." His tone and expression were serious as he looked at Emma.
Emma swallowed and clung to her mother's arm for support. "Can she be there?"
Whale shrugged indifferently and motioned for them to follow him. "You'd tell her afterwards anyway." When they arrived in a small doctor's room, he motioned for them to sit down while he took a seat behind his desk and folded his hands on it. "Regina hasn't suffered any fractures, bleeding or concussion," he finally began to speak.
"Then it really is just exhaustion and she needs to rest for a while," Emma nodded with relief.
"Perhaps you'd like to hear me out?" asked Whale, now back to his annoyed self. "Her brain is showing changes of structure that you don't get from a fall. What kind of curse was that?"
Emma's throat constricted uncomfortably, but she cleared her throat and whispered. "The Dark Curse. The kind of curse Regina used to create Storybrooke, take everyone's memories and implant false ones."
Whale nodded. "I figured something like that."
"What's wrong with her?" Snow intervened.
The doctor stood up, turned on the light panel behind him, and panned the unmistakable image of a human head. "This is an image of the mayor's brain from 2009. She fell off a ladder and hit her head." He reached for a second scan and put it next to it. "I took this one when she was attacked by the Fury about a year ago."
"Those are two pretty much identical pictures by my standards and we didn't ask for a complete listing of Regina's MRI scans, or do you want us to pay for them?" snapped Emma, hiding her nervousness behind anger.
Whale, however, remained unperturbed and stretched a third scan next to the first two. "This is the scan from today."
Emma fell silent and stared at the black and white picture. She didn't know what she was looking at, but she didn't need to be a doctor to recognize that this picture was very different from the first two.
"This here, which looks like two little wings, is the hippocampus," Whale explained, pointing to an area in the middle of the lower third. "It's responsible for memory formation and transfers information into long-term memory. As you can probably see, it is smaller and much paler on today's scan. This is what the MRI of patients with dementia usually looks like."
Emma shook her head and laughed in disbelief. "What are you talking about? You're talking about a 39-year-old here. Regina doesn't have dementia. Until a few hours ago, she had a better memory than all of us put together."
Snow had gone pale and absentmindedly patted Emma's hand.
"I didn't say Regina had developed dementia due to her age. I can only lay the facts on the table and tell you that she has one now, anyway. The nature of the curse would also fit in with this. It was supposed to change the memories of people in a whole town. Instead, one person channeled it and it seems to have left its mark."
Emma tried to take a deep breath, but she found it extremely difficult. Whale was clearly wrong. "Let's assume you're right. How long will it take for her to get back to her old self?"
"I don't think you understand," Whale replied. "This is science. The MRI doesn't show magical vortices, but brain structures that are absolutely real. And where there was just a healthy brain, there is now destroyed tissue. I'm sorry, but she's not going to recover from this."
"Of course she will," Emma snorted and stood up. She couldn't take his lies any longer.
Whale stood up as well and switched off the light panel again. "I can comfort you with the fact that her condition is unlikely to worsen, as the cause is not a chronic illness, but magic has destroyed her cells. She can also speak and move normally. It could have been worse. Patients with this condition also have phases in which they can remember almost everything normally."
"Can I see my wife now?" Emma asked, without responding to him further. She no longer wanted to listen to his outrageous ramblings.
The doctor nodded and gestured towards the door. "Of course. Down the corridor to the left. Second to last door on the right. The nurse will tell you when you can take her home."
Without another word, Emma hurried out of the tiny room. She desperately needed some fresh air and hoped that Regina had woken up by now and they could leave.
"Emma, wait!" Snow called out, following her and finally catching her by the arm.
"What does he think he's doing? He's not even a real doctor, he's a mad scientist experimenting on corpses!" snapped Emma.
"But what if he's right?" Snow said cautiously.
"He's not! She'll be better soon, you'll see. If he hadn't interrupted me earlier when I was talking to her, she would have remembered me by now," said Emma, knocking on the door they had reached in the meantime and entering.
The nurse looked up and relief appeared on her face. "It's good that you've come. She woke up a few minutes ago and is very restless."
"Hey, love," Emma whispered, stroking her wife's hair back from her forehead. "It's all right, we're getting out of here now."
A spark of recognition flashed across Regina's face. "You brought me here."
"Yes. Exactly," Emma nodded and gave her a smile.
"I don't like it here," Regina said, wrapping her arms around her torso.
Emma nodded. "I don't either. That's why we're going home now." She turned to the nurse. "Can we do that?"
"Yes, I just need to remove her IV," she explained and grabbed Regina's arm.
She flinched and slapped the nurse's hand.
"Regina, let her do it. It won't hurt, I promise," Emma said reassuringly, gently taking her hand and stroking it before nodding furtively at the nurse so that she could do her work. Only when Emma saw that the nurse had done everything did she fold back the blanket that had been spread over Regina. "Come on."
"Where are we going?" Regina wanted to know.
"Home," Emma repeated.
Regina's brown eyes scrutinized her closely. "What was your name again?"
"Emma," the blonde whispered and swallowed hard.
"I'm Regina," Regina replied and smiled wryly at her.
Emma nodded. "Let's go."
Still a little unsteady on her feet, Regina came to a halt and let Emma link arms with her. "I'm wearing a dress," she realized after a few steps. "We were dancing."
"Yes, we were," Emma nodded. "At the wedding."
Regina sighed. "My husband's name is Leopold, but he doesn't love me. I hope one day I can marry someone who really loves me."
At the gasp behind them, Emma turned her head slightly and wished she hadn't when she saw the tears on Snow's face. "You already have. And soon you'll be able to remember it again."