Chapter 2 - Anger
"Wouldn't it be better if you were with her when she wakes up?" Henry wanted to know the next morning as he watched Emma in the kitchen cracking eggs to prepare scrambled eggs with ham for breakfast.
"That won't change anything, I'm not particularly familiar with her. There should be Snow next to her," Emma replied, rolling her eyes. She had hardly slept at all, although Regina had slept through the night, probably due to exhaustion and the remnants of the sedative. Too much had been going through her head. Although she hoped her wife would be better by today, she couldn't be sure of that, after all it had been a very powerful curse.
Henry put the plates on the table and shrugged his shoulders. "At least the whole thing wasn't for nothing. Rumpelstiltskin said that the curse somehow bounced back on the Black Fairy through Mom's intervention and took away her powers. She is now in her realm and will probably never get out," he reported what he had found out the night before.
"We've always managed with curses so far," Emma muttered and stirred vigorously in the frying pan. "Dementia is a bit different. As far as I know, there's no cure for it yet."
"But you did say that Whale is certainly wrong, didn't you?" Henry asked uncertainly.
"Of course he is. How can he say what's going to happen in the next few days after two paltry examinations? He can't. There's never been a case like this before. So, he should stop making himself important," Emma grumbled and switched off the stove when the eggs were a golden brown.
"Looks like I've arrived at just the right moment."
Both Emma and Henry turned to Regina's voice with perplexed expressions on their faces.
"Morning, Mom," Henry said hesitantly after a few moments.
"Good morning," Regina smiled and hugged him before stepping next to Emma and scrutinizing her with a tilted head, a strand of hair falling forward that she had tucked behind her ear. "Well, dear wife, don't I get a good morning kiss?"
Emma forced herself to close her mouth and put the pan down before it could fall out of her hand. "Yes, of course," she stammered, looked Regina in the eye for a moment and then pulled her so tightly against her that she probably squeezed the air out of her, but she didn't care. "I love you," she groaned and pressed a kiss firmly to her lips.
Regina returned it and then looked at Emma in astonishment. "What's wrong with you? You're behaving so strangely."
"I'm just..." She broke off and looked to Henry for help. Would it be right to tell her what had happened, or would it only worry her unnecessarily?
"Do you remember what happened yesterday?" Henry wanted to know and sat down at the breakfast table with his two mothers.
Regina put a roll on her plate with a smile. "What kind of question is that? You mean, do I remember that I married Emma yesterday? How could I not remember that?"
"There's... more to it," Emma said cautiously, telling her about the impending curse and how Regina had saved them all from it.
The brunette looked thoughtfully in front of her. "I actually don't remember that. But if, as you say, I stopped the curse, then it's all good."
Emma bit her lip and took her hand. "Unfortunately, we don't really know yet. You've..." She broke off, not knowing how to voice how she had acted. "The curse took away your memories. You no longer recognized us and didn't know we were married. We had you checked out at the hospital and Whale says your brain looks like someone's with dementia. In his opinion, it's irreversible." She took a deep breath and lowered her eyes.
Regina's brows had drawn further together with every word Emma had spoken. "But... I'm fine. I know everything again, I..."
"I also told him that I can't imagine the damage being permanent. After all, that was a lot of magic that hit you. I'm sure everything will be back to normal soon," Emma interrupted her quickly before she could think too much.
"Exactly, Ma's right," Henry agreed with her and took Regina's other hand. "We've been through so many curses and spells in the last few years. It'll be the same with this one."
The brunette forced herself to smile and squeezed her loved one's hands before letting them go and taking a deep breath. "Let's eat then."
Henry didn't need to be told twice. He immediately scooped some scrambled eggs onto his plate and cut open his roll before passing the knife to Emma, who did the same.
"It certainly won't hurt if you get plenty of rest over the next few days, but as far as I can tell, sleeping in today has already worked wonders," said Emma and handed Regina the knife. She then took a hearty bite of her roll and looked at her wife, waiting for an answer.
Regina, however, sat silently in her seat and stared at the knife in her hand without moving.
Emma eyed her for a few seconds, but since her behavior didn't change, she swallowed her bite and gently placed a hand on Regina's forearm. "Regina? Are you all right?"
Regina looked up uncomprehendingly and scrutinized Emma with her brown eyes.
Emma's heart sank when she saw the lost expression on her wife's face. "Do you know where you are?"
"At home?" Regina said, but it sounded more like a question than an answer. Her gaze slid to Henry, who had also stopped eating.
"Do you know who he is?" Emma wanted to know more.
Regina nodded. "He's..." She interrupted herself and held her forehead for a moment. "I know who he is," she mumbled and squeezed her eyes tightly shut. "He's my son," it finally escaped her along with a relieved sigh.
"Yes, that's right," Emma nodded, even though the euphoria she had felt just a few minutes ago had already gone up in smoke again. "Do you know his name too?"
"You're Emma," Regina said instead of an answer. "We danced."
"Yes. Yesterday, at our wedding," Emma nodded. She decided to stop pestering her with questions she didn't know the answers to. Instead, she pointed to Regina's plate. "Aren't you hungry at all?"
"I don't know," Regina mumbled and was silent for a while. "Yes, I think I am," she then said. While still clutching the bread knife with her right hand, she reached for the pastry with her left and nibbled a little at the crispy crust.
"Would you like some cheese, Mom?" asked Henry, holding out the plate with the cold cuts.
Regina hesitantly took a slice, but then didn't seem to know what to do next as she paused again and stared at the table.
Emma's heart ached as she gently took the knife from her hand, grabbed the roll and cut it in half. She then spread butter on both halves and topped them with the slices of cheese. "Okay, there you go. Enjoy," she said and put the prepared meal back on her wife's plate.
"Thank you," Regina nodded and started her breakfast.
Emma watched her furtively for a few more seconds before turning her attention back to her own food, even though she had lost her appetite. She tried to convince herself that such a powerful curse could not dissipate in a single night and that she was already feeling much better than the night before. After all, she had recognized both her and Henry, even if she had obviously forgotten his name. But she still found it difficult to remain positive as she watched her wife, who had been perfectly healthy yesterday, struggle to cope with her everyday life.
"You left her alone?" Zelena asked gruffly as she slid into the booth opposite Emma in Granny's Diner, where Snow had already taken a seat and was sipping tea.
"Henry's with her. It's not like she's dangerous or anything. And we need to talk," Emma defended herself.
Snow put her cup down, her face lined with concern. "Then she's not better at all?"
"Yes, she is," Emma said slowly. "Yesterday, it seems that everything from a certain point in the past was simply erased. She knew she was married to Leopold and that's how she knew you," she said, turning to Snow. "She had completely forgotten her time in Storybrooke. Today, on the other hand, she wasn't a complete stranger to her surroundings. She didn't question Henry's and my presence, because she was obviously familiar with it, but she still couldn't make sense of the situation. And she..." Emma felt the expectant looks of the two women weighing on her like lead. "She just seems to have forgotten some things. She didn't remember how to slice her roll. Things like that. When I left, she was wiping the table with a potholder."
At first, the only reaction to Emma's comments was stunned silence.
"I don't know how to help her and that's the worst part," Emma sighed and waved Ruby over when she made eye contact with her. "Hi, Ruby. Could you bring us a coffee please and..." She looked at Zelena questioningly.
"An herbal tea, please."
"Sure, I'll do that," the young woman in the skimpy clothes nodded and disappeared behind the counter again.
"Maybe her memory will come back if you show her the town," Snow suggested when they were alone again.
"I don't think the town has anything to do with making breakfast," Zelena snorted, ruffling her curly hair. "The question is obviously not so much how to bring her memory back, but how to deal with a Regina without memories."
Puzzled, Snow looked at the witch. "Are you saying you're giving up on her?"
"I'm saying that you should wake up from your fairy tale fantasy. Whale is obviously right about what he said. She won't just grow back any brain cells after she shoots them. So we need to think a lot more about how to make her as comfortable as possible instead of pretending everything is going to be okay," Zelena said tensely.
"Then you've given up," Emma nodded.
"No," Zelena disagreed. "I'm just trying to put myself in Regina's shoes. You do realize that she's someone who likes to be in control, right? So far, she doesn't seem to have realized what's happening to her, but as soon as she realizes that she's not in control of her senses, she'll get scared and rightly so."
"I just don't want to believe that there's nothing we can do," Emma explained monotonously, interrupting herself as Ruby put the steaming drinks down on the table. "If it's just a temporary effect of the curse, then we'll just have to help her through the next few days."
Zelena put her fingertips together and gazed firmly into Emma's eyes across the table. "And if you're completely honest with yourself, do you believe that? After you saw that Regina has changes to her brain structure? Do you think she can recover from this?"
Emma felt herself go pale as Zelena presented her with the facts. There was no curse raging inside Regina. There was no dark magic building up inside her, clouding her mind and which could be removed with the right antidote. Her condition had nothing to do with magic, even if it had originally been caused by it. "No," she finally breathed, feeling nausea rising inside her. "I need to get some fresh air," she apologized and then hurried to the door of the diner, where she rested her hands on her thighs, panting heavily and struggling to breathe calmly. So this was her married life. She had married a woman she didn't know if she could or couldn't remember her name when she woke up. Panic and sadness suddenly gave way to a new feeling that made Emma clench her hands into fists. Anger. Anger at everything and everyone who was even remotely to blame for Regina's condition.
"Emma?" Accompanied by the ringing of the bell above the front door, Snow's voice sounded behind the blonde.
"I don't want to talk now," she hissed, turning to face her mother. "I don't want anything at all anymore, I want... I want this to all be just a bad dream and I'll wake up tomorrow and it'll be the morning of my wedding and everyone will be looking forward to the ceremony. That's the only thing I want."
Snow grimaced regretfully and stepped closer to her daughter. She gently put her arms around her. "Oh, honey. I wish I could grant you that wish. But no matter what Zelena says, I'll keep hoping and believing that this isn't the end."
Before Emma could answer, her mobile rang and she fished it out of her jeans pocket. "Henry, what's up?" she asked. Her face darkened as she listened to his answer. "I'll be right there, don't move." After hanging up, she looked at her mother with panic in her eyes. "I have to go. Regina," she simply stated and disappeared in a cloud of white smoke. When she rematerialized at the Mifflin Street property, she already had the front door key in her hand as she hurried across the porch and towards the door. "Henry?!" she called out tensely after gaining entry.
"We're upstairs!" Henry's trembling voice replied.
Taking two steps at a time, Emma hurried up the stairs and soon saw her son holding a thick pillow protectively in front of him. Opposite him stood Regina, holding out a sharp paring knife with one trembling hand, while a ball of fire flickered in the other. "What the...," Emma muttered in horror, slowly approaching her wife from the side. "Regina, put the knife down and put out the fire." On the wall behind Henry, right next to the doorframe, a soot-black discoloration showed that she must have already thrown one of her fireballs.
Regina, who no longer seemed to know which of the two posed the greater threat, breathed faster and faster and waved the knife alternately in Henry's and Emma's direction. "Stay away from me! Leave me alone! Get out of my house!" she screamed, tears streaming down her cheeks.
Emma wasn't impressed, however, and slowly pushed herself closer and closer to her. "Nobody is going to hurt you, Regina. Look at me. It's me, Emma," she said in an effortlessly calm voice.
"I... I..." the brunette stammered and now at least lowered her arm with the weapon.
Emma used this moment to take the knife from her with a quick flick of the wrist, whereupon the flame went out with a slight hiss. "Go to your room, Henry," she instructed her son, who, for once, followed her word directly and pulled the trembling Regina into her arms. "Hey, it's all right. Calm down. It's just us. Emma and Henry. It's your family. You don't have to be afraid of us," she whispered soothingly in her ear and gently stroked the hair at the back of her head.
Regina cried uncontrollably and after a while pushed herself away from Emma, only to immediately clap her hands over her face and curl up on the floor in agony. "Emma," she whimpered.
"Yes, I'm here," she said, putting the knife down on a shelf at a safe distance and sitting down next to her on the floorboards. "It's all right, I'm here."
"Something's wrong with me, Emma," Regina whispered between sobs, clutching at the fabric of Emma's sweater.
The blonde nodded and took a deep breath. "I know. But we'll find a solution together, I promise you that."
"What's wrong with me? I feel like I've got thick syrup in my head. I can't think clearly. I know what I want to do, but I can't do it. Henry... Have I hurt Henry?" she suddenly remembered and her head shot up in panic.
Emma immediately shook her head and stroked her back. "He's all right. You just gave him quite a scare," she assured her.
"Don't leave me alone with him, do you hear me? I'm dangerous."
"You're not..." But Emma couldn't finish the sentence. She didn't know what would have happened if she hadn't defused the situation. And even if she banned all potential weapons from the house, Regina still had her magic. What would happen if she accidentally used it when she was agitated or angry and didn't know what was going on? "Would you be okay with me putting one of the cuffs on you to take away your magic until we know what we're dealing with?"
Regina stared at her and nodded immediately. "Absolutely. Do whatever it takes to stop me!" she demanded forcefully.
Emma's heart ached, but she knew it was for the best. "Come on, let's go downstairs first," she asked her and held out a hand to help her up from the floor.
Regina hesitantly took it and came to a halt beside her. "I remember you telling me that I have dementia. Is that true? Or am I just imagining the conversation? I want you to be honest with me."
Emma felt as if Regina's brown eyes were burning a hole in her, she was looking at her so intensely. "Yes, I'm afraid so," she finally replied quietly and lowered her gaze.
Regina's shoulders slumped and she grabbed her forehead, shaking her head. "Is it going to be all right?"
Just as she was about to give her hope, Emma remembered that Regina had asked her to be honest and she had to admit that she deserved at least that. "Most probably not. But we'll find a way to deal with it," she assured her.
"You shouldn't have to," Regina murmured, clutching her trembling torso. "I'm a burden to you, you have to take me away. Lock me in one of the padded cells in the hospital, that'll be for the best."
"That's definitely not going to happen," Emma replied firmly.
"I threatened Henry with a knife!" Regina snapped at her and new tears welled up in her eyes. "That's unforgivable."
"Yes, but that was my fault. I shouldn't have left you here alone with him. It won't happen again, I promise."
"And tomorrow? I might burn the house down because I didn't turn off the stove," Regina pointed out.
"We'll find a solution," Emma repeated and put an arm around her shoulders. "Come on now, you need to rest a bit." Without a word, she took Regina downstairs to the living room and put a blanket over her legs on the sofa. She then put one of the cuffs they kept in a safe in the basement around her wrist.
Regina winced slightly as all her magic left her, but she didn't comment on it.
"Are you hungry?" Emma wanted to know.
Regina shook her head slowly. "Emma?"
"Huh?"
"I know it probably doesn't mean much now, but... I love you," the brunette whispered, looking into her eyes.
The lump in her throat grew and only now did Emma realize how close she had been to tears the whole time. "I love you too," she replied as the first tears fell from her eyes and she wrapped her arms around Regina's neck. "I always will."
Regina snuggled up to her and breathed in her scent deeply. As she closed her eyes, she let Emma's long, silky hair glide through her fingers. "I'll always love you too, Miss Swan. And even though sometimes I may not remember why I love you... I will always know I do. Nothing and no one can take that away from me."
Emma's lips curled into a smile and, for a few minutes at least, she wanted to lose herself in the warmth and security of Regina's embrace and give herself the illusion that everything was okay again.
"I can look after her, Ma! You don't have to take her away," Henry assured her as he watched Emma put her wife's shoes on and tie her shoelaces.
"There's no way I want to go through something like last week again," Emma replied and stood up. "Here, love, your coat."
Regina took the garment and slipped into the sleeves, then looked at Emma again, waiting.
"Nothing has happened and you've locked away all the knives and other sharp objects. Even the stove has a childproof lock. She can't do magic either," Henry pointed out and stepped in front of his mother to button her coat. "Are you warm enough, Mom?"
Regina didn't answer and instead reached for the cord on Henry's hoodie, which she let slip through her fingers almost reverently, as if she had a thread of pure gold in front of her.
"I'm not discussing this with you, Henry," Emma said with absolute finality. "You're acting like I'm taking her to a nursing home. She'll be with her sister for a few hours while I talk to Whale and run errands and then I'll take her home again."
Sighing, Henry crossed his arms in front of his chest.
Emma stepped up to him and put her hands on his shoulders from behind. "You know I only want the best for you. For you and for her."
"Yes, I know," Henry murmured and then put his hand around the cord as well. "Do you like it, Mom?" he asked.
Regina nodded and an absent smile played around her lips.
"Look, you have something like that too," Henry said, pointing to the belt that belonged to her coat.
Regina now examined the fabric on her own clothes with interest, which gave Emma the opportunity to lead her out to the car.
"See you later, kid," she said quietly over her shoulder and escorted Regina to the passenger door. When she sat behind the wheel, she looked over at her expectantly. "Will you fasten your seatbelt, please?"
"Where are we going?" Regina asked without moving.
"To Zelena, your sister," Emma answered this question for the sixth time that morning. "Now fasten your seat belt."
"Does she have one of those?" Regina wanted to know, pointing to the scented tree dangling from the rear-view mirror of Emma's car.
"I have no idea! Fasten your damn seatbelt now!" Emma snapped at her, reaching the end of her patience.
Regina finally looked up and scrutinized Emma's wrinkled forehead and furrowed brows. "You're angry," she said.
"I'm not..." Emma broke off and ran her hand over her face. She hadn't even realized how loud she'd gotten and she was sorry. "I'm just exhausted. Sorry." Carefully, she leaned over her wife and buckled her seatbelt before finally driving off.
"I'm exhausting."
Emma literally winced when she heard Regina's words after several minutes of silence. "It's not your fault," she reassured her. It was moments like these that still unsettled her, as she couldn't place them. Regina had phases in which she was completely lucid and others in which she knew nothing at all. Emma knew how to deal with both. On the other hand, she found it difficult when Regina seemed as simple-minded as a child, but still showed a certain amount of ability to think. She was reluctant to treat her like a child, as she could have to deal with the intelligent, adult version of Regina in the next moment, but at the same time she knew that she couldn't talk to her normally if that wasn't the case. The fear of hurting her was getting to her.
"You shouldn't have to worry about me," Regina said.
Taking a deep breath, Emma searched for the right words. "I'm your wife and I love you."
"I believe you," Regina nodded, "I love you too. But love might not always be enough."
Emma felt as if her insides were on fire. The unbearable heartache she had endured for over a week was spreading like wildfire through her entire body at that moment, taking her breath away. "Love is the only thing strong enough to get through this," she finally managed to squeeze out and was glad when they arrived at the farm and were able to get out.
Zelena was already coming towards them when Emma got out of the car and then helped Regina. "Hello, you two," she greeted them and let her gaze rest on her sister for a moment longer than necessary.
"Hi," Emma replied. She couldn't help noticing that Regina's condition had left its mark on the red-haired witch. There were deep circles under her eyes and her hair didn't gleam copper-red in the sun as usual, but looked dull and lackluster. "I'll try not to be gone too long."
"No problem. We'll get along just fine," Zelena assured her with a cocky grin and turned to her sister. "Won't we?"
Regina just nodded and then leaned her head back with her eyes closed as a pleasantly cool breeze blew through the surrounding trees.
Zelena cleared her throat and ran her hand through her hair, embarrassed. "You... know who I am?" she asked to make sure.
Regina opened her eyes and looked at her blankly. "You're Zelena, my sister," she replied and then pushed past the two women and into the house, the door of which Zelena had left open.
"What's wrong with her?" Zelena wanted to know after looking after her, perplexed.
"It's not a good day today," explained Emma, who was still feeling shaky on her feet from the conversation they had had in the car.
"It can't be that bad, at least she recognized me today," the redhead pointed out.
Emma nodded. "She's not completely confused, but she's not quite herself either. I think she knows there's something wrong with her and that worries her, just as you predicted. Please don't let her out of your sight, I'll be back as soon as I can. Call me if she goes crazy."
"Okay. See you later," Zelena said goodbye and then hurried into the house.
Emma didn't like not knowing how Regina was doing, but she had no choice. She couldn't possibly take her everywhere with her. Her first stop was the hospital, where fortunately she didn't even have to ask for Whale, as he bumped into her in the entrance hall. "We need to talk," she said tensely.
"I don't have time right now. You're welcome to make an appointment and..." He didn't get any further as Emma grabbed him by the collar and dragged him towards an empty examination room.
"You've got time!" she almost growled and slammed the door behind them. "I want to know exactly what I can do to make my wife get better!"
"I've already explained what you're up against. There's nothing you can do to make her get better. All you can do is make her cope with the situation as well as possible," replied Whale, calmly crossing his arms in front of his chest.
"There are also medications that are used for dementia. What about that?" Emma demanded to know.
Whale snorted and shook his head. "Did someone read up on the internet? Obviously, your research wasn't very good, otherwise you'd know that these meds can only have a positive effect on the course of the disease. They can't fix something that's already broken. And at the risk of repeating myself: Regina's condition is not expected to get worse, so there's no point in giving her any pills."
"Fine, but there must be something else. Sometimes it's completely lucid. You have to be able to hold on to this state somehow."
"It's understandable that you want that, but that's not how it works," Whale replied.
"You don't give a damn about Regina, that's the only reason you don't bother!" Emma shouted at the doctor, sweeping a pile of business cards off the desk in her anger. "Don't tell me you can't do anything. You don't want to do anything!"
"Think what you want about me, I don't care. Shout at me for all I care. It still won't change what I've told you. Would you be so kind as to excuse me now? Patients I can actually help are waiting for me."
Emma gritted her teeth so hard that they grinded. Her head flushed, she looked after him as he left the room and she was left alone. She would have to find another doctor, one who cared about what happened to his patients. But before she could set off in search of another doctor, another thought occurred to her and made the hatred inside her flare up even more. Without bothering to go back to her car, she teleported directly to Mr. Gold's small, musty store.
"Ms. Swan, I was wondering when you would show up here," Rumpelstiltskin's voice rang out as soon as Emma materialized and a smirk twisted his lips.
"This is all your fault!" gasped Emma, propping her hands on the sales counter as she leaned menacingly towards him.
"Mine? I don't mean to be rude, deary, but for once I can't take credit for this, I'm afraid."
"It was your depraved mother who did this to Regina!" shouted Emma.
Rumpelstiltskin just smiled indulgently. "Which makes her the culprit, not me. But while we're on the subject: You don't have to go to the trouble of plotting revenge. My dear mother is dead. The rebound of the curse and the banishment to her realm have finally finished her off. I have verified it with a spell. So there's nothing left for you to do but sweep up the pieces she left behind."
"My wife barely knows who I am and you have the nerve to tell me that there's nothing left for me to do?" Emma asked incredulously. "It seems to me that you have a death wish yourself!"
"Is that a threat, deary? You seem to forget that I'm still the Dark One. You can't kill me unless you do it with the Dagger, which would make you the Dark One yourself, but... Wait, we've been over this," he mused, as if he wasn't facing an angry customer.
Emma's knuckles turned white as she clenched her hands into fists, but kept herself under control enough not to punch him. "You're a monster."
"That may be, but right now I'm not the one yelling at an innocent man," he pointed out. "Perhaps you should use your anger to do something useful. Cast a spell, for example. They're especially good when you're in a rage, I speak from experience. Regina burned down whole regions and villages that way."
"Don't you dare say her name," Emma hissed at him menacingly.
But he just laughed. "And why not? Because she can't remember it herself?"
This time it was all over for Emma's self-control. She didn't even have to reach far as she was standing so close to him. Her right hand landed on his nose with a thud. For the moment at least, there was great satisfaction in the blood streaming down his face as she turned away and marched towards the exit.
"I'm sorry that you can't stand the truth and think you have to take your frustration out on others. I hope you don't beat up poor Regina when she misplaces the house key!" he called after her mockingly, his voice muffled by the handkerchief he was pressing against his bleeding nose.
Emma only half heard his last sentence, as the door was already closing behind her and she poofed back to her car. Breathing heavily, she sat on the seat and clutched the steering wheel like a lifebelt. A thin trickle of blood ran down her knuckles from the violent blow she had delivered, but she didn't care. She no longer cared about anything. Her anger had briefly found an outlet, but the relief had been short-lived. Unfortunately, she had to admit to herself that Gold was right. He wasn't responsible for his mother's actions and even if he had provoked Emma into hitting him, that had been his only crime.
A glance at the clock told her that she had been staring ahead of her for quite a while now. Although she trusted Zelena, she had the feeling that she would only confuse Regina even more if she tore her away from her familiar surroundings, so she decided to pull herself together for her sake. Before she drove off and made her way to the supermarket, she took another deep breath. She was afraid of taking out the violent emotions that were raging inside her on other people, which she wanted to avoid at all costs.
Fortunately, the grocery shopping went without incident and Emma arrived back at the farm less than an hour later. She wondered how Regina had fared in the meantime, but at the same time dreaded the answer to that question. She gave herself two minutes before she got out and walked over to the house, where she used the spare key Zelena had given her to gain access.
Before Emma could call out or look for the women, Zelena came hurrying into the hallway. "It's you," she realized and took a deep breath.
"Is something wrong with her?" Emma wanted to know immediately with a sinking feeling in her stomach.
To her relief, however, Zelena shook her head. "She got pretty wrapped up in your absence when you were away and didn't know what was going on at all. But after I managed to calm her down, she fell asleep on the sofa half an hour ago," she explained in a whisper so as not to wake her sister. "Have you been able to get anywhere with Whale?" she then asked hopefully.
Emma shook her head sadly. "He stands by his assessment and says that there's nothing we can do and that we have to come to terms with the situation. Basically, he says that we don't have to worry about her getting worse, which makes medication unnecessary, as it can only delay the progression, which is not to be feared."
"Come to terms with the situation," Zelena repeated with a snide snort. "My little sister's brain is no longer functioning properly and I'm just supposed to accept it?"
Sighing, Emma stroked her hair back.
"What have you done to your hand?" Zelena asked, who was able to catch a good glimpse of her cracked knuckles at Emma's gesture.
"Nothing," the blonde waved her hand away and let the sleeve of her leather jacket slide further forward over her hand.
"Doesn't look like nothing," Zelena stated matter-of-factly and crossed her arms in front of her chest. "Did you hit Whale?" she then asked in horror before grinning. "You would definitely have my sympathy."
"I didn't hit Whale," Emma replied, rolling her eyes. "It was Gold's nose," she admitted meekly.
Snorting with laughter, Zelena shook her head.
"He deserved it," Emma muttered.
"Oh, I suppose so," nodded the red-haired witch. "You're my heroine."
Sighing, Emma let her head sink against the wall. "Oh, just shut up."
"Come on, I'll make you a coffee. Relax a bit until she wakes up."
Even though she initially wanted to object, Emma finally accepted the offer with thanks. She didn't want to admit it to herself and certainly not to anyone else, but it was actually incredibly tiring and exhausting looking after Regina day and night.
"I don't want this!" Regina shouted and knocked the brush out of Emma's hand, causing it to clatter on the tiled floor and the brunette to press her hands over her ears.
Emma sighed, picked up the hairdressing utensil and placed it on the cupboard before gently reaching for Regina's arms and releasing her hands from her ears. "You always brush your hair before you go to bed, love. Why not tonight?"
"I...," Regina began, but broke off and seemed to stare right through Emma.
"Please don't make it so difficult for both of us," Emma pleaded and tried to brush her hair again, but this resulted in Regina thrashing around again until she caught Emma on the chin y accident.
"Damn it, Regina!" the blonde yelled at her, rubbing the sore spot. "I don't want to cut your head off, I want to remove the knots from your hair! Is that so hard to understand?"
Whimpering and wrapping her arms around herself, Regina crouched on the floor and rocked nervously back and forth. Her eyes were wide open but didn't seem to see anything.
Taking a deep breath, Emma clenched her jaw and rubbed her eyes. "I am so sorry. Please except my apologies," she whispered and crouched down in front of her wife. Hesitantly, she reached out and gently stroked Regina's hair. "I didn't mean to shout at you. I'm so sorry," she repeated and was glad that she didn't immediately flinch when she touched her. Her mind was racing; she was trying to understand what was going on inside her wife. Emma had been able to observe that Regina's condition was very unstable the whole time, but she was always at her worst when it got dark outside. "What are you thinking about? Do you want to tell me about it?"
Regina remained silent, but stopped rocking back and forth after a while.
"Do you want me to tell you about the Queen and her castle?" Emma finally asked, as her wife usually escaped to the time before Storybrooke when her brain flipped the switch.
"I'm sorry," Regina whimpered instead of an answer.
"No, it's not your fault. I need to apologize. It's not your fault," Emma replied immediately and took her in her arms.
"I'll obey, I'll be good. Just tell him to stop," Regina whispered and buried her face in Emma's shoulder.
Only then did she realize that Regina was actually no longer in the here and now, but in a time when she was being harassed by Leopold. "What did he do to you?" she murmured into her hair.
Regina snuggled even closer to Emma and took a deep breath. "He always grabs me by the hair if I don't follow him into his chambers quickly enough," she whispered barely audibly and looked up anxiously, as if she feared Leopold might realize that she was confiding in someone.
Emma swallowed and bit her lip to stop herself from getting angry again. Of course, this time her anger was directed at her own grandfather, but she realized Regina wouldn't understand and would instead think she was yelling at her again. "I won't let him hurt you. I'll take care of you," she promised instead, pressing a kiss to her hair.
"He'll find us and punish us," Regina murmured, her eyes falling shut.
"Not today," Emma replied and sat up. "Come on, love, I'll take you to bed so you can get some rest." She held out a hand to help her to her feet.
After a moment's hesitation, Regina took it and then clung to Emma's sleep shirt while she let herself be escorted into the adjoining room and lay down in bed. "Can you leave the light on?" she asked.
Emma nodded and dimmed the small lamp on Regina's bedside table so that the room was dark but her wife had something to guide her.
"Will you stay with me?" Obviously embarrassed by her question, Regina narrowed her eyes.
"Of course." In one fluid movement, Emma slipped under the blankets and took her in her arms again. "Sleep well."
Regina said nothing in reply, but remained silent for the next few minutes. Only when Emma was almost asleep did she raise her voice again. "Leopold is dead, isn't he?"
Emma was immediately wide awake again and looked at Regina through squinting eyes. "Yes, he's dead."
"I killed him."
Emma bit her lip and nodded.
The brunette took a deep breath and intertwined her fingers with Emma's. "We were dancing. You married me."
"That's right." The euphoria of the first few days after the wedding, when Regina had remembered something, no longer overcame Emma so easily. She knew it would only be a matter of time before she asked her again why she was in bed with her. But for now, she enjoyed having her back, however long it might be. "It was a beautiful evening in fall. You made me the happiest woman in the world when you said I do."
"I love you, Emma," Regina whispered.
"I love you too." Emma took a deep breath. She thought about how she had shouted at her and hated herself for it. It hadn't been that long ago that she had promised to be there for her in sickness and in health. But the shock of having to keep that promise so soon was probably too deep. She hadn't had time to come to terms with the fact that the Regina she had married no longer existed. Besides, she hadn't assumed she would lose her to a disease like dementia, at least not at such a young age. They had magic and magic could heal many illnesses and injuries. Of course, it would have been possible for her to be snatched away from her in a brutal accident, but she hadn't dared to think about an illness at all. "I want to be there for you. Always. And I want you to know that I don't mean it when I get angry. This anger is not directed at you," Emma whispered.
There was no reply, however, as Regina was overcome by sleep, an expression of bliss on her lips.