"No, put it back!"
Penny clutched the jar in her hands. "Come on Gumball, pleeeeeease?"
"No, your ketchup pancakes are one thing, your vinegar pancakes are one thing, ketchup vinegar and mustard together on pancakes are one thing but this? No."
Penny gave the cat her best puppy eyes. "Come on, Gummy." She begged dramatically. "Please? For our baby?" She rubbed her tummy sympathetically. "You want them to starve?"
Gumball rolled his eyes, then looked back at her. Those eyes, they always got him. He leaned in close to the fairy, placing a hand on her shoulder, staring into her guilt-tripping eyes. He reached for the jar, grabbing it and Penny's hand softly, their eyes locking.
Penny amped up the performance even more, her eyes widening to the size of golf balls. Gumball chuckled, shaking his head dismissively. He looked at the jar, then back at Penny. He smiled.
"No."
"Come on!"
"Penny, please. You're not thinking straight. The baby is warping your mind, you know neither you or anyone else would like this stuff-"
He was interrupted by the rattling of trolley wheels behind him. Gumball spun around to see that- the little- the small weird lightbulb guy or whatever he is, grabbing a jar of the stuff.
"Oh uh, 'scuse me. "
Gumball turned back round to the confused fairy. "Neither you nor any other normal people would like this stuff."
"I don't mind it."
"No one asked dude." Gumball replied flatly.
"Okay."
Penny sighed. "You're right… I don't know what I was thinking." She placed the jar back on the shelf. "This baby is really messing me up…"
"Hey, it's okay honey." Gumball soothed. "The doctor said these kinds of thoughts would happen. It's totally normal."
"Yeah but… wanting anchovies? What kind of monster am I becoming?" Tears started to well in her eyes. "Gumball I'm so sorry."
"It's okay, it's okay, you can't help it. Now come on, let's go find something actually edible."
He ushered her out of the aisle, leaving Lightbulb Guy on his own.
"I don't mind."
Gumball fished the list out of his pocket. "Okay so, next on the list is cheese and milk. Huh, hey isn't selling expired milk basically selling cheese, I mean-"
"Shhh!" Penny hissed from behind him.
"Um, I think it's a completely valid statement Penny. It's how cheese is-" he turned, noticing Penny was crouched behind a nearby freezer. "Penny, what are you doing?"
"Gumball shh!" She hushed, pointing behind her. "It's Polly!"
Gumball glanced over the freezer. Opposite the supermarket, a young peanut girl was talking with a group of other teenagers.
"She can't see me!" Penny yelped. "Else she'll tell my parents about, y'know, this! What is she even doing here?"
Gumball noted the kids were gathering snacks, candy, drinks, the average preteen diet. "Looks like they're having a slumber party or something."
"We need to go Gumball!"
"But we haven't got everything on the list!"
"We can get it all somewhere else, but we need to leave right now!"
Gumball unfolded the list, pointing to an item circled in red. "I am not leaving without my chocolate milk, Penny. It is essential. Look, why don't you bail, I'll distract Polly and then finish getting the groceries, okay."
"Fine." Penny sighed. "Just please, don't let her see me."
"Don't worry hon." Gumball reassured her. "I'm the master of distraction. Just get out and meet me by the fountain."
"Alright. Thanks Gumball."
Penny leaned in and kissed Gumball on the cheek before unwrapping her hoodie and pulling it tightly over her head. Then she darted off towards the exit. Gumball spun the cart round and started pushing it in Polly's direction.
He positioned himself around the teens' likely next stop, the chip aisle, turning the trolley around and posing it near the start of the aisle. He laid flat against the wall, listening carefully for the clattering wheels and sneaker heels getting closer.
Soon he could hear the teens' conversation.
"She's just the absolute worst, how long has she been teaching, a thousand years?"
"Nine thousand, I hear. Even my grandpa had her."
Gumball smiled, remembering. Ah, the bashing of Miss Simian. The joys of childhood. He snapped out of it as he heard them approach the end of the aisle. Go time.
He started pushing the trolley back along the aisle, slowly inspecting the bags of chips. Inspecting, inspecting, totally faking interest- wait, maybe he did want potato chips. Wait no, he had to think about that later, Penny was more important.
"Forget school you guys." A familiar voice cut in. "Let's just talk about this weekend. Look how much do we-"
Gumball's ears flicked as he heard her stop.
"I- Gumball?"
Bullseye.
The cat turned around, letting out a convincing gasp. "Oh hey, Polly? How've you been, kid?"
"I'm uh, fine I guess. Hey, is Penny still living with you guys? Haven't seen her in ages."
"Oh yeah she's still with us. I was actually just getting stuff for our next date."
One of the other kids inspected Gumball's cart, raising an eyebrow. "You were getting bleach, toilet paper and toothpaste for your next date?"
"…yeeeeeees… Ah you kids wouldn't understand, it's adult stuff."
"Uh, alright." Polly shrugged. "Anyway, is she doing okay? Mom said we're gonna be having dinner with you guys soon or something."
"Yeah she's fine, the three of us couldn't be happier."
"Three?"
"Uh yeah, me, her and… our bed. We share a bed, yeah, it's so cool, real adulting stuff."
"Oh. Well, is she here today?"
"Oh no she's at home… painting! Yeah, painting. You should see her latest art piece-"
Meanwhile, Penny was still sneaking her way to the exit. She looked at the registers: one without a queue… perfect. She hurried towards it and was halfway through when-
"Hey!" A man called out. "Hey, stop right there!"
The fairy froze in place. A security guard came running up. "Back inside the store please." Penny bit her lip and anxiously did what she was told. "Ma'am I'm gonna have to ask you to take the hood off."
Penny sighed, loosening the hood and letting it flop back down over her back.
"Take the whole sweater off please."
The security guard patted the sweater, checking for anything inside. Finding nothing, he handed it back to Penny.
"Miss, why were you running through the checkout with no items to purchase?"
"Look I really need to go, I don't have anything, please just-"
"Not until you answer my questions. You're seeming awfully nervous, ma'am. Customers tend to buy stuff when they leave."
"Well, I didn't get anything so-"
"So you just came to the supermarket to… look around?"
"No, see, my boyfriends inside and I-"
"What's that bump on your stomach, miss?"
"What?"
"The bump, explain it please."
"Excuse me? What are you trying to ask?"
"Miss, when someone walks- no, runs through security with a hood over their head and nothing on their person, it's a little suspicious."
Penny looked around. "Well I-"
She looked over and saw Polly and her group heading towards checkout, gossiping, with Gumball close behind. The cat noticed Penny's frantic expression and instantly let out a yelp.
"Ah, my back! Hey, Polly could you grab that can on the top shelf for me? I- ow- I can't reach it. Too old, heh."
Polly gave a bewildered look, but shrugged and did as Gumball asked. "Thanks, I really needed that-" His eyes glanced at the cans label. "Canned toothpaste… yeah. Oh and can you-"
Penny sighed with relief as Gumball continuously kept distracting Polly.
"What do you keep looking around for?" The guard quizzed.
"What? Oh I just-"
"Look miss, here are the facts as I see them. You try to sprint through here, no items, head hidden by a hoodie, and there's a large bump under your shirt."
"Yes… and?"
"Lift up your shirt please, show me what the bump is. I just need to know what's under there"
"You definitely do not!"
"Ma'am, I have every reason to suspect you for shoplifting. Now please, I know it's unusual, but I just need proof."
"Sir, I'm pregnant."
"I am finding that a little hard to believe, miss, just please comply and-"
"Hey what's going on over there?" One of the teens asked. Polly and her friends turned to see the noise. Gumball tried to find a distraction but could only spot the can of toothpaste.
"Oh man, I'm gonna regret this." He winced.
Gumball hurled the can at his foot, instantly clutching it in pain. "OW OW OW OW OW!" Polly and her group's attention instantly snapped back to the cat.
"What the-"
"What happened?!"
"Gumball are you okay?!"
Penny saw the distraction and breathed a sigh of relief. "Ok, know what, fine!" She lifted up the bottom of her shirt, revealing her baby bump. "See?! A baby. Happy?"
The guard's face instantly flushed red. "O-oh! My apologies ma'am! I- er, I am so so sorry, please just go right on through."
Penny huffed, fixing her shirt back into position. "Thank you." She said, coldly. "Goodbye."
"Oh and uh- I- congratulations?" The security guard stammered, his usually orange face turning almost pure crimson. Penny stormed off towards the fountain, pulling her hood back over her head.
She glanced behind to see the teens just entering the checkout, a hobbling blue cat splitting off to continue his shopping. The couple locked eyes for a second. Penny smiled, grateful. Gumball put on a brave face and gave a thumbs up, before going back to wincing.
"Hey Polly, you kids get everything you need?"
"Yeah dad." Polly said. Penny yanked her hoodie tight again, scurrying off to hide in a nearby bathroom hall.
"Hey, you wouldn't believe it, we saw Gumball in there." Penny observed the conversation, still concealed in the hall.
"Gumball? Was Penny with him?"
"Nah, he said she was somewhere else."
"They didn't… break up did they?" Judith asked.
"No, he said they were going fine. Penny was off painting or something."
"Well that's good." Patrick said.
"I hope he's taking good care of her. I'm not quite sure what to think of him, or his oddball family"
Penny's heart skipped a beat. Her own mother, the one she thought was understanding, didn't like Gumball. She began to slink away, when she heard her father say something she never expected to hear.
"Ah don't worry dear." He comforted. "Gumball is… odd… but I trust him. He's a good kid. I think Penny made the right choice."
"Yeah. You know what, you're right."
Penny peeked out from her hiding spot. Patrick Fitzgerald praising Gumball Watterson was as rare as three consecutive eclipses, especially when the cat himself wasn't present. Part of her wanted to run out from the shadows and hug him. But then she rested a hand on her stomach, remembering the small thing forming inside her that Gumball was responsible for.
"Not yet." She thought. She could only watch on from afar as the family walked away together.
"Hey." a soft voice said. Penny jumped. Her boyfriend stood behind her with his cart full of groceries.
"Gumball, you scared me!"
"Oh, sorry. Hey so uh, dunno if you saw, but your mom and dad were there to pick her up."
"Yeah, I saw."
"Ah. They didn't… see you, did they?"
"No."
"Alright then. Well then why don't we get those groceries back to the- hey!"
Gumball was halted by Penny grabbing his hoodie. "You're not pushing that, not with your foot like that."
"Ah, I'm fine, Penny."
"No, you're not! Now you let me push, or I'm pouring all this out." She seized the chocolate milk from the cart. The cat frowned.
"Fine! But I'm gonna be the one cooking dinner for you tonight! You're not doing any more work than you need to!"
"Hey, I'm not a queen… you don't need to wait on me hand and foot."
"Well, you're a queen to me." Gumball purred, bowing and kissing Penny's hand theatrically. She blushed.
"Heh, then I thank you, O' noble knight. For your sacrifice today."
"Anytime, your royal highness."
"Really though." She giggled. "Thank you. You didn't have to do that."
"Yeah. But I did. And I'd do it again y'know."
Penny knew all too well that he probably wasn't exaggerating, and she laughed.
"Oh, Gummy bear... I love you."
"I love you too, Penny."