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Chapter 21

Wolves

Bella

What was this madman thinking, I couldn't believe it! What did he expect from it? Did he want to lock me up? He would probably have to, because otherwise I would logically go back immediately. Men, incredibly stupid, right?, I thought.

He carried me into the woods and I was sure that we would be caught up by the vampires in no time. We had barely disappeared into the bushes and were standing under the first trees when Jake handed me off to Seth.

Anyway, I believed that his name was Seth. I didn't know that for sure. I had rarely met other guys from La Push, since I stayed almost exclusively at Jake's house. I just didn't understand what that was all about.

Jake stripped naked in a flash and my amazement grew.

But then everything became clear to me very quickly and I almost had a heart attack from shock.

Jake turned into a giant wolf before my eyes.

"Don't be afraid, Bella, he won't hurt you!" Seth said and sat me on Jake's back.

"You can't be serious," I groaned in horror.

Seth tied my feet's together with Jakes Jeans under his chest.

"So you don't fall off … and hold on to his mane. It won't hurt him. You can lie on him, then it's more comfortable," said Seth and within seconds another wolf was standing next to us.

Then they chased off and I cried out in fright.

I clawed at Jake's fur.

I really didn't feel like falling off at this rate. Wolves? They were wolves! That's what Edward had meant. People who could turn into wolves. Did that exist? Well, there were vampires, too. Unbelievable. I wonder if Billy was one. But he was in a wheelchair. And why had we never seen anything about it, never heard about it, never known about it?

Questions over questions wandered through my head.

They were racing. The wind brought tears to my eyes, so I lay down on Jake.

But I was pissed off and swore like a trooper.

They did not pay attention to me at all.

Man, did that suck.

"Jake, my foot hurts so bad, stop," I whimpered.

No reaction. I could let myself fall, couldn't I? But what if I hit the ground with my head? I didn't dare. Please Edward, come, I thought. Surely he would look for me and find me. I wondered if we were running to Forks. Would it help Edward if I left traces?

I pulled out my scrunchie and dropped it.

After some time, I dropped my watch.

It had not been so expensive, that would not be the huge loss. Of course, I wouldn't drop the necklace, bracelet and ring. My sneaker? I only had one on anyway, so never mind.

I waited for a long time and then pushed him with my bare foot from my healthy until he fell down.

Jake had noticed this and paused, but then decided to keep running.

He growled once.

"Jake, you can growl until you drop. Put me down. I don't want to go to Forks, I don't want to go to La Push. I don't want to be with you. I WANT to go back. JAKE!"

I drummed furiously on his back fur with clenched fists to reinforce my words.

He ran on.

I groaned in annoyance.

All my bones were aching. It was quite soft, but this position was uncomfortable ... the clinging, the wind ... I was cold. I wanted to go home. To my home. To Edward, who was my home.

I cried.

I couldn't take it anymore, I didn't want to.

After eternal hours - I didn't know, it was already dark - we arrived. I heard the sea roar, so we were in La Push after all.

We didn't run to Jake's house though, he ran to the beach.

At some point he finally stopped and Seth phased. He was a little embarrassed because he was now naked. He untied me and carefully set me down in the sand. Then Jake phased, put on his jeans, and knelt by me. Seth ran away.

"Don't cry, Bella," he said softly and it sounded almost tender and he wanted to wipe my face.

I slapped his hand away.

"Bella, I'm just trying to help you. After we talk and you can think clearly again, you'll see that I'm right," he said.

"Jake, you're such a selfish jerk. I don't want you. I don't want to talk or think with you. I have feelings, in here!" With that, I pointed to my heart. "Feelings for Edward. No matter what he is and why he is, no matter what he does and what he thinks, I LOVE HIM, just him. I want him. And he will come looking for me, and I will go back to him and marry him as planned. You're not going to change that."

He looked at me and shook his head in annoyance.

Seth came again. Barefoot, dressed in jeans and carrying a large backpack.

A duffel bag.

Jake took a sweater from the bag and put it on.

I watched.

He looked damn good naked, I noted. Well-trained, muscular, tanned. But I didn't love him. And never would. Never.

Seth pushed a boat towards us and I looked horrified.

Where were they going to take me?

"Jake, I don't want to go!", I said and stood up.

All my bones ached, I was completely cramped from this crazy wolf ride.

I turned around anyway and wanted to leave.

Jake wrapped his arms around me.

"I won't let you go, Bella!" he said quietly against my ear, his breath brushing warmly over my neck.

But I didn't want warm breath, I wanted the cold fragrant breath of Edward! So!

I slapped his hands, but he wouldn't let go of me.

"Please stop, Bella, you'll only hurt yourself!" he said softly but firmly.

He just lifted me into the boat, Seth pushed it into the water, and Jake jumped in after it and rowed out to sea.

We glided along the coast, the beach ended and there were only rocks, cliffs and mountains on the shore.

"Jake ... please, take me back to the beach. What's this all about?!", I wailed several times, but he said nothing.

At some point, Jake stopped.

I was terribly cold and shivering.

He threw a line around a rock, very purposefully and unerringly. Then he pulled the boat with the rope up to the rocks and jumped out.

"Jake, damn it, what are you up to?", I exclaimed, annoyed.

On the right was the sea, dark and cold. To the left were rocks without end, very high, certainly thirty meters. A little further away, water ran down the rocks ... like a small waterfall. You could hardly see everything in the dark, it was only illuminated a little by the moonlight.

"Come Bella," Jake said, extending his hand to me.

I got up annoyed and he pulled me onto the ledge around which he had thrown the boat rope. I stood on a tiny piece of rock and so did he.

Suddenly he threw me on his back like a backpack and said, "Hold on!"

I cried out in fright and clawed at his neck.

I had no desire to plunge into the cold water below.

Jake balanced climbing, holding onto the rocks, toward the waterfall and I shivered with fear.

If he slipped off?

But he did not slip off. We approached the waterfall and the spray dusted us with ice-cold water.

I would catch my death.

But it got worse. Jake climbed toward the water and jumped in.

I held my breath and thought we were going to crash into the rocks. But we didn't.

We were suddenly standing in a cave and the waterfall was behind us. Jake lowered me carefully, but then pulled me into his arms and carried me into the cave.

I was soaking wet and I was freezing. I was chattering my teeth.

"Jake, I'm going to catch my death. What's this all about? I'm cold, I'm wet, I want to go home!"

He smiled.

"In a minute, sweetie, I have dry clothes here."

We went deeper into the cave and then he put me down on something soft. It was wool blankets and lambskins.

I sighed.

Oh ... how romantic.

Jake walked back a bit and fumbled around in the dark. Suddenly a lamp came on and then a gas oven.

"Sit here next to the stove," he said, and I did.

I was so cold.

He went a little further into the cave. There were wooden boxes. He gave me a sweater, shorts and jeans.

"Here, put this on. You need to get out of those wet clothes!" he said.

Then he put on dry clothes himself.

Annoyed, I changed my clothes. My underwear was also wet.

Jake discreetly looked away and I put on my dry clothes. Then he took my wet clothes and spread them out over the boxes to dry ... as did his jeans. From another box he took a bottle of water, dried fruit, cookies, crisp bread.

"Here, you must be hungry?" he said, taking himself some water and something to eat.

I eyed him skeptically.

"Jake, please explain to me what this is supposed to be. Do you want to keep me here forever? Did you plan this... or what?" I asked.

"No, there's nothing planned. I didn't know you were alive. That was really a coincidence. But I couldn't leave you there. The cave here has been my hiding place for years when I want to be alone. You're safe here for now," he said.

"Jake," I tried gently, "safe from what? If you're referring to Edward and his family, you're not going to change anything with this. I'm going back!"

"Bella ... please, think about it. He's cold, he's dead!" he said.

"Yes, and he can kiss beastly well, he satisfies me, reads to me, plays the harp and piano with me, lovingly gifting me with nice things, dancing with me, and loving me," I said.

"I didn't know you were into presents!" he said.

"Jake, I don't want gifts all the time. But he came up with really nice things and not to impress me, but to show me how much he adores me. Plus, I listed a lot of things that aren't material!"

"That's possible. But still, it's wrong, Bella," he said.

"Well... so you alone know what is right?" I asked angrily.

"I'm not saying that, but in this case..."

"...you've got all the wisdom in the world..." I finished his sentence.

I took a deep breath.

It was no use shouting around here.

"Jake, I'm sorry you think you love me, but I don't return that love and I never will. That is a fact, irrevocable. I love Edward and no matter what you say and do here, that will remain the case," I said firmly.

He was silent for a while.

"Bella, I really love you. Think about it, please. Do I look bad? Haven't you always had fun with me? We were always one heart and soul. I'm warm, soft, can give you other nice things and just live with you. You were never into riches," he said.

"Jake, I'm not into the wealth either and I'd take Edward poor too. Get that through your head. I don't find his coldness unpleasant!"

He stood up and knelt in front of me.

"Bella, you don't believe that yourself!" he said.

"Jake, oh yes he is, he is erotically cold!"

"And I'm erotically hot!" he said, taking my face in his hands, pulling me to him and kissing me.

I let my mouth close and tried to push him away. I could not turn my head away because he held it too tightly.

I looked at him angrily.

Forcibly he pushed his tongue into my mouth and kissed me fiercely. His hands were suddenly everywhere. He pulled me close, stroked my breasts over my sweater, then my back, my buttocks.

I fidgeted, bit him on the tongue, hit him, pushed him away and he kept kissing me and even grinned while doing so. When he finally let go of me, I smacked him and my hand hurt like hell afterwards.

"Jake! Damn it, what is this?! I don't want to be kissed and groped by you! That's rude. Do you think you'll achieve anything by that? It just makes me hate you more!", I yelled and threw the water bottle at him.

He caught it deftly, smiled and said, "Still my little wildcat!"

How funny.

I rolled my eyes.

"Seriously, if you touch me like that again, I will report you. I hate you!"

Now I was screaming with rage!

"Take a breath, sweetie, and eat something!"

I sulked and ate and drank nothing.

He can go to hell.

So we sat there, in silence.

I was so mad!

He was eating comfortably and kept looking at me.

I looked at the cave walls and was just annoyed.

At some point I got tired.

"Am I supposed to sleep in this stupid cave now?", I asked.

"You'll have to," he said.

He got me a thick blanket to cover me and another one for under my head.

I lay down with my back to him and was frustrated.

Oh Edward. I would so love to be in his arms right now.

Unfortunately, the tears rolled. Tears of frustration.

"Please, Bella, don't cry," Jake whispered, suddenly kneeling behind me, gently stroking my arm.

"LET ME GO and then let me go home, you ass!", I said with an icy tone.

That was the only word I could think of for him.

He was silent, but moved away again and left me alone.

After that I heard him playing the guitar. He sang to himself for hours and I fell asleep over it.

When I awoke, it was bright outside. Soft light fell through the water into the cave and if you looked behind, you could see another shimmering light shining in from the other side.

I was lying a little stiff, because under the blankets was the raw rock and it was quite hard after all. Jake was not to be seen.

I rose and walked towards the light at the back.

The cave became a narrow passage. I went inside and suddenly I was standing in the light. I stepped all the way in and had to get used to the brightness. Then I looked around.

I stood on a piece of meadow about ten by ten meters. At the rear edge, a small creek ran forward over the rocks - that was probably the small waterfall. Otherwise, one stood in the middle of the rocks, but got sun - but could also nowhere away.

Jake lay on the grass and said kindly, "Good morning, sleep well?"

"Sure, it's great sleeping on rocks!" I said angrily and went to the little creek.

The water was clean and clear. I washed my hands, my face, rinsed my mouth. Then I took off my socks, removed the bandage and washed my feet as well. It was cold, but did good and my foot was only slightly swollen.

"And what do you do here when you have to?", I asked.

"There's a camping toilet in the cave," he said.

I sighed and went to pee.

That was really unbelievable. Would Edward find me here?

I looked out through the waterfall.

The boat was gone. I couldn't jump, I would have fallen on the rocks, and I didn't know how deep the water was there, or if there were rocks underneath.

I sighed.

Jake came into the cave.

"Please don't jump, Bella. The water is not deep enough here!" he said.

"Where's the boat?", I asked without turning around.

"I had Seth pick that up so your lover wouldn't find us!" he said.

"I never thought I'd hate you, Jake, but you've done it," I said coldly, walking outside into the meadow.

Shortly after, he came, brought me bread and coffee.

I paid no attention to him and did not touch the food.

That's how it went all day.

When we talked, we argued in circles.

He traipsed behind me and tried to talk me into eating, but I refused. I walked up and down as far as my ankle would allow and was pissed.

The bird again - but certainly not in the golden cage.

In the evening he tried again, the soft way.

"You need to eat something, love," he said.

"Don't call me love. I am NOT YOUR love!", I said.

"Please, Bella, you can't renounce everything!", he replied indignantly.

I took a deep breath and said, "Jake. For the last time ... I hate you! I don't want to be here! I love Edward! And if you keep me a prisoner here, it's tantamount to death for me. Then I'm going to speed this up. I won't eat or drink here, it'll go faster. If you see Edward again, please order him that I love him and my last thought will be with him. And since you're such a jerk, this is now my last conversation with you. Fuck you!"

I was so loaded for bear.

Jake eyed me and looked a little helpless and was visibly startled by my choice of words, because normally that was absolutely not my style.

I guess he really didn't expect me to be so stubborn.

I tried to sleep.

He played the guitar again. (James Blunt – Cry)

At some point I nodded off.

Something warm made me wake up.

It was pitch black.

I reached next to me – Jake! He had actually snuggled up to me and put an arm around me. Would you believe it?

I quickly rolled to the other side of the cave.

That was the last thing I wanted, to cuddle with him here. Grrr ... he was so rude, I thought angrily and grumbled annoyed to myself.

The next morning I decided to wash more thoroughly with this ice-cold water outside.

I felt terribly dirty.

My own clothes were dry, so I took them outside to put them on again. I undressed at that water, washed as well as I could and got dressed.

My body was black and blue ... full of bruises. I looked terrible. It had to be from that ride and lying on the rocks. Everything hurt me.

When I was dressed again, I remained sitting by the water, leaning back against the rocks, enjoying the warmth of the sun and indulging my thoughts.

Surely Edward would still be looking for me? Yes, I was sure of it. Edward loved me, he would not give up. And neither would James. Would he have blamed himself? Or Edward would even have scolded him? I hope not. Oh ... how I longed for the two of them.

Silently I let the tears run.

I was hungry and thirsty. But I would not give in. I would rather die.

Jake tried several times to start a conversation with me and to talk me into something to eat or drink, but I held firm.

I looked through him and consumed nothing. And it was terribly dull, the day passed in slow motion. I slept badly at night, everything hurt and I felt powerless.

By the third day, my lips were chapped.

Clearly, I was suffering from a lack of water.

I struggled to get to the water, washed and drank nothing.

No, I was stubborn and I remained stubborn. I had no more strength to walk around. So I mostly lay on the blankets and prayed that time would pass. I dreamed of Edward, lying in his arms, kissing him, dancing with him - that was so beautiful. In my mind I felt his smooth lips on my skin, heard the soft words he used to breathe into my ear and my heart warmed. My Edward ... hmm ...

In the evening, Jake began to get nervous because he could see that I was getting progressively weaker.

But that didn't matter to me. It also meant I didn't have to use this toilet as much. Let it pass, I thought.

The fourth morning came.

It was raining.

The sound of the rain mixed with that of the waterfall, and I felt my senses fading at times.

Jake tried to instill me water, but I pushed it away, humming "Let me die" and "I love you, Edward" in alternation.

I kept falling asleep in between.

Even to dream I lacked the strength, everything was bleak and gray.

Jake sat next to me the whole time, stroking my face and my hand tenderly and mumbling something about "Please, Bella, don't do this to me!"

At some point he said something else.

"I'll bring your bloodsucker now. You win!"

Had I dreamed that? Had he really said that? Oh ... that would be so nice. Edward, Edward, Edward, my brain hummed and I fell asleep again.