Gwyndolin's crush

chapter 1

Gwyndolin sat cross-legged on his throne. Another one of his father's speeches. As much as he looked up to him, he wouldn't lie, these got old very fucking quick. It was always "Our glorious truimph against dragons THIS BIG" and "Those stupid hollows could pass for rocks" that.

Lord those jokes were so dry they could "pass for rocks" more than any dumb hollow ever could.

He sometimes wondered why the other lords and even the rulers of some human lands would always come to these speeches. No one laughed at the jokes, hell one time Gwyn told a joke so bad it made one of the human rulers cry, yet they STILL keep coming back.

Nurturing relations he supposed, though at this point he'd rather die in a war than sit through any more of this bilge.

At least there was one saving grace to it all. The Anor Londo knights would always be called to guard the cathedral, and among the dull silver fools that knew nothing but stand around all day and swing swords about, were the chosen ones.

They were a small section of soldiers, despised by all but they were kept around to link the flame whenever it started fading, "pretty handy" as his brother would say.

Despite their knightly status each and every one of them were undead much to the entire city's disdain, though among these undead was a knight that he... admired you could say.

A knight named Arias, he was exceptional with a greatsword and could probably use other weapons. He once even attempted a duel against the mighty knight Artorias, and though he was beaten to a pulp within minutes, Artorias even said he was challenging for an undead so there's something.

Whenever it came time to link the flame again, Gwyndolin always pulled some strings to make sure it was never Arias that was sent off to the Kiln.

Somehow Gwyn hadn't noticed this, though knowing him he was probably too far up his own arse to even care about what undead was dying when.

It was always nice seeing Arias at these meetings. Clearly also bored out of his mind though unlike Gwyndolin he actually put some effort into looking professional.

Though occasionally he also looked like he'd fall asleep, but whenever a lord looked his way, he immediately stood still as a statue.

He wondered if he noticed him staring at him from his slumped position on his throne. Probably not.

Luckily the speech finally ended before he gave up and fell asleep and he was able to leave before any festivities ensued. For as boring as the speeches were they more than made up for that with the festivities, he'd never forget the time Artorias got drunk and told Sif to go run across the whole table and get him some chicken, and the wolf actually did it, he even brought him some extras too.

As funny as that was there was also the time Smough tried to join in on the fun and almost fell on Gwyndolin had it not been for his teleportation magic. Never again.

As he walked around the halls of the cathedral, he wondered just what to do now. Whenever this happened he just went back to his room and read a book but today he didn't feel like reading, it was like he was burnt out.

He wanted to go out and do something fun for once, though he didn't know how that'd work either, not like the citizens wouldn't notice a god just running around like a moron, and his father would be sure to scold him for acting like an imbecile.

It was at this moment that Ornstein approached him. He wasn't exactly in the mood for conversation and especially not with him but oh well.

"Yo, Gwyndolin."

"Ugh, what is it good dragonslayer?"

"Taking a break from staring at our favorite knight are we?"

"What dost thou...?" For a minute Gwyndolin was confused, there were so many knights in that hall including Ornstein he could mean anything by that.

"The human?" Ornstein clarified.

"Ah uh, w-what human!?"

"That undead you ogle at every single fucking speech Gwyn gives, it's like you want everyone to notice you."

"T-Truly I hast not the slightest inkling of what thine meaning could be Ornstein, but this slanderous-"

"I mean even Artorias mentioned it and he was about to fall asleep when he did."

"Artorias? H-How many others s-saw?"

"That's what I'm telling you, everyone knows and can see it clearly, all save your father thank the sun. I don't think anyone would be prepared for what'd happen if he did." Gwyndolin audibly sighed in relief when it was mentioned that his father hadn't noticed, something Ornstein caught onto.

"Something to be relieved about? I thought there was no one-"

"Of course there's no one on mine mind! I was simply glad there were no misunderstandings to be had that is all!" Gwyndolin almost shouted to which Ornstein put his hands up, surrendering.

"Alright, alright, whatever you say. I saw nothing."

"Well said." Ornstein nodded and walked away. Before he gained considerable distance, he turned around to tell Gwyndolin one last thing.

"Just so you know, I think he snuck a peak at you while you weren't looking."

"R-Really!?"

"Yup" Ornstein confirmed, giving a thumbs up.

"W-Well that's.. Strange for I don't know who it is thou speaks of." Gwyndolin regained his composure.

"Of course not." Ornstein turned around and chuckled a bit before leaving.

Gwyndolin slithered back over to the window in contemplation. If he snuck him a glance, then maybe... there were feelings? No probably not, it was just a glance.

He did want to go out today, maybe he could pay him a visit? Maybe have a chat? Then again, he was a god, he couldn't exactly go around talking to lowly humans, it was looked down upon, and of course he'd get an earful from his father.

So Gwyndolin did the completely reasonable thing and disguised himself as a human woman and snuck out to go see Arias.

A/N And now for something completely different. If to see a darkened sun was serious, carefully written and careful to abide by the lore, Gwyndolin's crush will be the complete opposite of those things. Goofy, minimally edited and pretty much ignores the lore entirely. I have no idea where I'm going with this, I just wrote this while I was tired and bored. I should probably be studying for exams but that's for nerds. Also Arias' name is reused not because there's any connection but because I'm bad at coming up with names and I'm not spending another hour of contemplation to come up with a new one.