Chapter I

"I know you're tired, Harry!"

Said Hermione to Harry, who was standing in front of the black family tapestry, staring blankly at where it said 'deceased' next to where Sirius's face would have been. Indeed Harry had rarely felt so tired. Even their one year on the run hadn't rendered him so numb and lethargic.

Harry now spent most of his time in the Grimmauld place basement, where they had discovered an ancient library with an abundance of books on any magical subject imaginable. Many of the books were signed by their authors and were addressed to a member of the noble house of black.

They had to be careful when handling the books though, some of them were cursed, some demanded some kind of offering to open, a few books asked questions the first time you touched them. One particularly evil-looking book asked "would you rather kill a muggle or a mud blood" and when Harry replied "neither", the books whispered "unworthy" and went blank.

Harry could put up with the gloom of Grimmauld place and with Ron and Hermione breaking their whispered conversations abruptly any time Harry walked in, he could put up with the many owls he received every day; some wished him health some wished him death. "you better not be crossing any dark alleys alone at night potter" Harry just piled them all away.

He could also almost put up with the prophet and the ministry both demanding or speculating things about him and his future, but what he couldn't deal with was himself. It wasn't a lack of purpose as the prophet had suggested many times, it wasn't the prospect of having actually died either. Hermione suggested this timidly one night; nor was it lack of Quidditch, as Ron reassured him. What made Harry feel like a dead man wasn't even the loss of so many of his friends and loved ones.

Indeed it was excruciatingly rueful at the burrow. Once they had returned there after it all settled down, Ms. Weasley just could not contain herself. This of course didn't surprise anyone but Mr. Weasley was also frantically crying and blaming himself. George however, seemed just frozen. No word or sound came from him and he hadn't been seen after the funeral since he left for the shop. Lee Jordan said that he's in touch with him and that George is dealing with it, perhaps a little too slowly but he's doing it.

Harry couldn't understand what he had actually done! This was a trollish idea yelled Ron and Neville at once when Harry suggested it. They didn't get it and that was the worst part, Harry was once again alone. Harry after a lot of thinking had settled for the idea that he had always been a mere pawn, always manipulated, never trusted with the whole truth until it was no longer a secret or that it was too late to change. He had even politely walked to his own death. "The noble act of he who lived twice!" as the prophet liked to address it. To hell with that! Harry thought. Harry hadn't even really killed Voldermort. He sort of just died. Killed himself twice. And yes he and Ron and Hermione had taken care of the Horcruxes which was no easy feat but somehow now that it was all behind him it felt like they had not done anything significant.

He was very well aware of the fact that he and his friends had stopped a mass-murdering dark lord. He was very well aware that he had saved lives and that stopping the most evil dark wizard of all time was quite remarkable for three teenagers, pawn or not. But why was he feeling so empty? Why wasn't he feeling victorious, joyful, powerful? Ron had told him that he, harry had never truly dealt with all the death he had to endure because he was always on the run and fighting for his life, but now that there were none of those things distracting him, he was left with the gloom. This was of course very insightful for Ron, in fact, too insightful! Harry told him that he was hanging out with Hermione too much and they had shared a laugh.

"Harry?" Said Hermione in a whispering tone.

"I was thinking…well..it doesn't matter…" Muttered Harry.

"Harry you can talk to me! To us! You have to!"

"I know Hermione… It's just that…there is nothing really…" said Harry and looked away.

"Of course there is! How can there not be?"

"Well, I don't know… What time is it? Is it launch time? Is Ron here? Creature!"

Harry tried to evade Hermione gracefully while pretending to go after Creature, exactly the same way that Sirius used to but then he felt her gaze on him and paused at the door.

"Look, I'm fine, I really am! I just am not feeling very chatty… I like to enjoy the calm after all that's happened. That's all." Said Harry kindly.

She didn't seem convinced so Harry continued.

"OK, I'll try to talk more, OK?"

"Well alright. Just don't close up on us Harry OK?" Said Hermione.

"I don't think I could after all."

They both smiled and harry knew that this pep talk had bought him a few days of no concerned chats from either of them since Hermione would fill Ron in no time. Creature popped in front of them with a loud crack and bowed deeply.

"Master forgives Creature, Creature was preparing a meal for Master and his friends."

"That's great Creature we're starving!"

"Lunch will be served right away, master."

And with that Creature popped out of the room, living Harry with Hermione's still somewhat heavy gaze. Hermione, knowing better than to start again, left with a smile. Harry, stood in the Hermione-less room and mentally prepared himself for the lunch he was not going to enjoy as much as he would have liked to.

They were his friends after all, he did love them and didn't really want either of them to go back to the gloom of the burrow or Hermione to a family that didn't know her anymore. This made Harry feel selfish but they had all made sacrifices, they had all risked everything.

Harry proceeded downstairs where he was greeted by Ron and sat at the head of the table where Sirius used to sit.

Authors notes:

Hello everyone,

A bit of a slow start but we'll pickup the pace in the next chapters, stay with me.

Don't forget to leave a review, I'll read and greatly value each one of them.

Hope you enjoy!