Chapter 12: Bree
Looking back, the most nerve wracking part of the journey was crossing the newly repaired bridge. It creaked under my weight when I led Damascus across, but held steady for us and I waved Mackey forward with the wagon from the other side.
Slowly she had two of the draft horses begin pulling on the wagon and despite the creaks of the wood beneath, it passed safely. Only then did I let out a breath I didn't realize I had been holding the whole time. After that, it was obvious that Matt crossed safely on his beautiful palomino mare.
We waved from the opposite bank to the whole family who had gathered to see us off, shouting our goodbyes, before we set off north.
Without a compass we mostly just followed the ruins of a once grand stone highway that reminded me of ancient Roman roads. They were mostly just chunks of stone in a rough line that weaved across the countryside but were enough of a guide that we didn't get lost. When we set up camp we always made an arrow pointing in the correct direction out of loose stone, and when we packed up the next morning the stones went back where we found them.
I'm not at all ashamed to admit that I was glad to be on the hypothetical road again, and in better company than the last time. The twins have always been a cheerful duo, and Matt was one of the chillest guys I've ever met; they were all more than capable of all the tasks required of them during the journey. It was the most enjoyable multi-day trip I've ever had in the wilds.
Being attacked by bandits didn't spoil anything. I always regret when I have to take a human life and this was no different, but I can't deny that I'm a bloodthirsty little bugger. The bandits who hadn't fled in the face of our unexpectedly fierce resistance were soundly beaten and their stolen valuables added to our own treasure chest.
There appeared to be no Grim-like myth here, but Gander was a help nonetheless. He had gotten to be the size of an average sheepdog, and was still bloody growing! A black dog of that size bearing down on anyone in the night is terrifying. These blokes deserved it though, so I rewarded him with a few flakes of the portable soup that we had managed to make. The stuff was a bit like jelly bouillon and made quite the tasty broth when thrown into some hot water.
According to the map the hills we passed to the west of were the South Downs but I got a bad feeling despite their innocuous name. The mist that lingered there reminded Mackey of Silent Hill and when she pointed that out, I couldn't unsee it. I also couldn't sleep well until they were gone from sight.
Even Gander had been aggravated by them. He whined and paced, and his ears were always perked up to look for danger while we were in the vicinity. Only once we were outside of a day's travel from them did he revert to being the happy puppy I knew him as.
"Something's up with those hills," Andy had stated over the campfire, jabbing a stick in that general direction.
Oh yeah, that was something we could all agree on.
The town of Bree is an absolutely tiny place, one main street and several outlying farms with one very busy pub in the center of the hubbub. The name of the Prancing Pony immediately brought My Little Pony to mind, but the place couldn't have been further off. There were squinty eyes and greasy faces galore around scrubbed tables littered with even more scars than the locals had.
At least the bartender was friendly, directing us to various merchants who would want our ivory. "I say, oliphaunt tusks? Really?" he said repeatedly when we told him what we were selling, "And rhino-see-ras tusks you say? Rhino? What on earth could those be?"
"Unicorns," I answered, "Very large grey unicorns."
He didn't seem to quite know what that was either but upon seeing one of the (frankly enormous) tusks, his eyes went wide with wonder. "Why, that's as big as you are!" he exclaimed happily.
Just to see if he was right, Matt and Mackey stood it on its bottom beside me. I was only about three inches taller.
Immediately there was a hubbub. Everybody wanted to measure themselves against the ivory or ask where we got it, and some enterprising souls asked for a price. Everyone winced at the amount Matt named; it only made some eyes glow even greedier.
I traded uneasy looks with Mackey, since Andy was guarding the wagon. We'd have to sleep with one or two eyes open tonight.
That was when I was introduced to the concept of hobbits. While Andy and Mackey were dumbfounded by the little people with their pointed ears and hairy feet, my mind went back to the small skeletons that had been unearthed along with the tall king. The poison eaters, as I had liked to call them with a certain amount of envy. Matt simply talked to them happily as he kept the tusk balanced.
As soon as the hobbits started talking, there was no stopping them. They could talk for bloody England, I thought, impressed, once the subject got onto families.
While Mackey (herself quite the rarity) talked and flirted, and Matt and got a feel for the hobbits, I took a good look around. It smelled of stale beer and hay, and some mud and firewood smoke, not the best combination but fitting for this place. The people at the edges of the room watched right back, not all very friendly, and when I met anyone's eyes I gave them a short nod of acknowledgement.
Then my eyes landed on a familiar, long legged figure in clothes so travel stained that I couldn't quite tell what color they used to be. A long stemmed pipe smoldered in his hand, and his hood was up, but I grinned at the sight of Strider. Figuring that my sister and her fiance had everything in check, I got myself a pint from that barman and swaggered over. "How's it going, stranger?" I asked, perhaps a little flirtily.
He gestured to the seat across from him. "Somehow I did not expect to see you here so soon," Strider said in a low voice.
"That's me, always eager to get on the road," I told him, absently glancing to where a rather wealthy looking hobbit was being herded in the door by his excited fellows, "With the twins and Matt going to live in Edoras soon, they wanted to see the north country while they still could."
"Yes, the wedding," Strider said knowledgeably.
I nodded and raised my pint to the upcoming festivities. "That'll be a hell of an event," I commented, already envisioning banners and flowers and that kind of fancy shit. Better Andy than me, that's for sure.
"It has been many years since there was a royal wedding in Rohan; perhaps two dozen years or more. For them, this has been a long time coming," Strider said, though his eyes were always elsewhere.
Not for the first time I wished that I still had my compact mirror. It was excellent for seeing behind me without being too obvious, something I could sorely use with Strider so on guard. "What's up?" I asked and glanced at Mackey.
Everything appeared fine there; she and Matt looked to be in the middle of intense haggling with the very wealthy hobbit.
"See the man in the other corner, whispering?" Strider murmured.
"Which one?" I muttered. Everybody, including us, who wasn't grouped around the haggling was in a corner whispering.
"The older man with the thin lank hair and missing front tooth."
Ah, that poor old bastard. From the look of him, I pitied any wife who signed on when he was younger. "Could use some Rogaine," I snickered, no matter how uncharitable that was.
"That's Bill Ferney. He and his friends don't have a good name here, avoid dealing with them if you can," Strider advised, "He'll rob you blind if you let him."
A man after Martin's own heart, I thought with a huff of laughter. "Thanks. Pretty sure we can deal with him if need be," I assessed, looking at Ferney's skinny arms and tendinous neck.
"That, I am sure of," Strider said frankly. Even under his cloak it was obvious when he eyed the hammer on my belt.
"Thanks for the warning. Anything else we should know about the area?" I asked, waving to the barkeep with a smile when he eyed us suspiciously.
"If you want to keep a good name, you'd best not associate with us rangers. We do look rather scoundrelly," Strider said, a dark joke wrapped up in honest advice.
I snorted so loudly that it hurt my throat. "Yeah, no way that's happening, mate. It's not like I look exactly respectable myself," I answered, having only remembered what my face was like when we rolled into town earlier, "You seem to be an alright kind of guy and I'm not easily scared off by society." I never would've made it in the services back home if I was easily swayed by public opinion. Or intimidated.
Then I went over his words again and found myself grinning. "A ranger, you say?" I had to make sure before I called Matt over.
"Yes, that is what we call ourselves, who fight in the wilds to keep innocents safe," Strider said much more softly, almost a secret.
"Just a mo', Matt's gonna be thrilled," I told him and slipped away.
Matt and the wealthy hobbit had just finished shaking hands over a small mountain of gold and silver coins, almost more than Andy's bride price had netted us. "It's good doing business with you, Mr Summerfield," Matt told the hobbit, smiling, "Can I buy you a drink?"
Thankfully the hobbit declined, citing the need to get his precious new find home. It took five sturdy hobbits carrying the ivory lengthwise to get it up and out the door.
All I could do was try not to crack up at the sight.
"Hey, is that Strider you were talking to?" Mackey asked, standing on tip-toe to see better despite that she was one of the tallest people in the room.
"Yeah, but get this: he's a ranger," I said more to Matt than my sister.
Something like hope sprang up in his brown eyes. "I need to have a chat with my brother in arms, then," he declared to the two of us, "You two hold down the fort." He then very nearly hurried over to our acquaintance's table to talk.
I watched with a little smile for a moment, watching the two men bond over a shared title. Then I began to scoop our haul into a leather pouch we had brought for this exact reason.
"Rangers are pretty different here, aren't they?" Mackey murmured thoughtfully, comparing her former ranger to the current one.
"I dunno, they seem to have the same job supposedly. Just different weapons, I would wager," I said.
At that point a male voice with what seemed to be a Scottish accent asked, "Excuse me, ladies, but I understand that someone here is selling ivory from the south?"
Smiling, I whirled around and answered, "Yes sir, that's us." Then my eyes caught up with my voice, and I barely avoided choking on my (awful) beer.
The short man that stood before us was the most stereotypical fairytale dwarf I could ever imagine, from his braided brown-grey beard to the wonderfully subtle art deco touches on his leather breastplate to a huge fucking axe on his back. He looked just as startled at the sight of me, dark eyes wide under a heavy-looking helmet.
Thankfully Mackey was able to swoop in and save the day. "Hi there, I'm Mackey and this is my sister Cass. How are you doing tonight?" she asked with one of those dazzling smiles that blinded people a little.
"I am well, thank you," the dwarf answered courteously, "My name is Magni and I am a craftsman in the Blue Mountains, always looking for new materials to craft from. Do you have any further ivory for me to look at?"
"Absolutely, Magni. It's in the wagon, if you'll-" Mackey was cut off by familiar, booming barks.
"Dammit," I muttered and shouldered everyone necessary out of the way to get out the door in a hurry.
The wagon, Andy, and Gander were right where we left them- only several scoundrelly looking men had surrounded them in a half-circle against the side of the wagon. Gander barked and snarled at them, having planted himself in front of Andy. Her hand lingered near her dagger.
"Hello, gents, is there anything we can help you with?" I called loudly before they could figure out what to do about Gander. Very quickly I strode over and placed myself beside my sister, hands on my hips expectantly.
"Just trying to do some business," drawled the tallest, broadest man, who seemed to be their leader. He was almost a foot taller than me and as broad, and clearly didn't think much of me from his dismissive glance.
I scoffed at him. "Sorry mate, but you can't afford our wares this time," I told him, eyeing his poor cloth.
His jaw tightened and fists clenched.
Blood rising, I moved my feet into a more stable stance. Bring it, I dared him silently.
Out of the corner of my eye movement caught my attention and warily I glanced that way. It was only Mackey and Matt running to our aid, so I turned my attention back to this jerk.
He glanced at the newcomers: a second buxom redhead and a skinny strip of curly hair. Evidently I was still the primary threat, because he puffed himself up in an attempt to intimidate me.
Unimpressed, I gave him a look that said he was very much lacking. I've chewed up and spat out tougher men than him.
"Is there a problem?" Strider's voice was soft but cut through the mounting testosterone.
One of the men who had been harassing my favorite sister walked away right then.
Their leader went pale enough that I could see the difference by moonlight alone. Still he rallied, glaring at Strider with disgust. "None of your business," he grumbled.
Strider said nothing but he did not move from his place near the end of the wagon.
That seemed to be the point that they all decided was enough. The ruffians scattered, only the leader and a crony daring to walk close enough by Strider to spit on his boot.
"Fucking rude," I muttered. Now that the threat was over, I turned around to see how Andy was doing.
"I had them handled," she told me plainly. She wasn't upset but I definitely felt the chiding.
Much happier now that it's just the familiar people, Gander gave us a doggy grin as he rubbed against our legs and licked our hands. Even Strider got a little love. "Such a good boy," I cooed at Gander, rubbing his rump right above the tail where he liked it best, "Always protecting us."
He panted and stretched up as far as he could into the scritches, clearly in doggy heaven.
I hadn't noticed Mackey disappear until she was back with Magni, undoing the laces that closed the end of the wagon in order to get out another tusk. With her and Andy busy in sales, Matt doing the heavy lifting, I sauntered over to Strider with Gander by my side.
"You've got quite the reputation around here, I take it," I stated, watching him watch Magni inspect his potential purchase.
He nodded. "My looks are against me in many ways, yet they do come in useful," he replied.
If it weren't for him, we might have had to fight. That's too dangerous to be worth it most of the time; broken hands and teeth are almost impossible to fix properly with the primitive means available here. I needed to find some way to thank him.
"If you have more trouble, find me," Strider murmured and made to leave.
I put my hand on his arm over his cloak to stop him for a moment. "If you or any of your people are near Tharbad and need help or shelter, you're welcome," I told him.
He smiled wryly. "I would not wish to upset your sister any further," he demurred.
"We're building up a few more of the buildings to live in, so none of the rest of us have to listen to her as much either," I told him, smiling despite that I always felt so sad for Cressie when I wasn't about to murder her, "My door is always open, especially in emergencies."
"Mine too, brother," Matt added, perfectly happy where he was set to work holding and moving the ivory as needed, "I'm not about to leave fellow rangers out in the cold, Edoras or Tharbad or what."
Surprised, Strider silently looked at us all like he had never seen anything like us before. Maybe he hadn't before his surprise visit all those months ago. "Thank you. I will spread the word," he said quietly. This time without interference, he slipped away into the shadows.
After quite a bit of hemming and hawing and inspection with a little magnifying glass, Magni pronounced a mid-sized piece of ivory as suitable for his needs. Then there was the bargaining, which went back inside the Prancing Pony along with the spoken piece for inspection by Magni's companions.
This time I was the one left to guard the wagon with Gander. It was chilly and I wrapped myself in my cloak tightly but I didn't mind. The smell wasn't quite as overpowering out here, despite the hint of human waste in the air. Plus Gander curled up with me and kept me warm while he napped.
For a long while I contemplated how we got here and what exactly we were supposed to be doing here. The inscription on my tomb (that still made me uneasy) said that we were traders, fought bandits, and delivered multiple sisters to their weddings. Those were in the works as promised.
And then there would be the war. Moria, Helm's Deep, Minas Tirith, the Dagorlad...
I took the map from its place at the driver's seat and in the light of the pub's grimy windows, squinted to see where each of those was. Moria appeared to be in the mountains, maybe a town at the pass, Helm's Deep was in the mountains bordering Rohan, and I knew exactly where Minas Tirith was.
Screw you, Denethor, I thought more out of habit than anything as I looked in the little details for the Dagorlad. Right on the edge of Mordor. If Nan's reaction to the place on the way past said anything, it would be a damn hard time; these were all easily defensible positions from one side or the other and if we were fighting those ridiculous orc things…
Eventually the others returned and I took the opportunity to ask Magni, "I'm curious. Do you know what that place is?" I pointed to Moria on the map.
Unexpectedly he bowed his head, as if in prayer. "It was the most magnificent of the dwarven realms since Nargothrod was lost to the sea many thousands of years ago," he finally told me, longing in his voice, "Full of every gemstone and metal but especially mithril, the most prized of metals."
My first thought admittedly went to aluminum. Several million years from here but centuries before me, it would be more valuable than gold.
"However in their mining a monster was released that killed many of us and drove out us dwarves to poorer deposits," Magni continued, "A dwarf of Durin's Line, Balin, brought dwarves back to Moria to try to take it back. We have not heard from them in years and my heart worries for them."
Oh no. Oh no. Alarms blared in my head at the idea of fighting in a long abandoned series of tunnels, and just how easy it would be to get trapped in there.
"Which side of the mountains is the entrance on?" Matt asked shrewdly, studying the placement of the map label: smack dab in the middle of the Misty Mountains.
"Both," Magni answered promptly, "I would warn you against trying to get there, however… The orcs in the mountains grow ever more numerous and dwarf doors are invisible when closed."
I shrugged at my relatives and they returned the gesture. "You're right, that's a bad idea indeed," I agreed and rolled up the map, "Thanks for explaining."
In the end Magni and one of his companions shared the ivory between the two of them and brought it into their room at the Prancing Pony under a sheet that did nothing to disguise its contents. Our purse was so full by the end of those two transactions that we had no problem finding a room for Mackey and Matt at the inn; Andy and I slept with Gander in and under the wagon outside the gates.
Just to be safe, the bulk of the money stayed with Mackey and Matt. They were inside the town gates and a locked room, and could take on anybody in this town except possibly Strider without problem. Besides, Strider was an ally and staying just a few doors down from them.
The night passed surprisingly calmly for all that happened during the day. The day was just as peaceful, having been advised by Butterbur that the best pipe weed is in the South Farthing of the Shire, and hobbits are the most peaceful people I've ever seen. Aside from those two skeletons I never saw one with a weapon and we passed through without incident. There were odd looks and several hobbits were fascinated at the size of the draft horses (taller at the shoulder than I am in total!) but that was the extent of it.
Okay, besides those two young 'uns who decided they'd rearrange our supplies when we weren't looking too closely. Nothing was missing so we decided not to be brats about it and simply continued from Hobbiton. I did make sure to memorize their faces to watch out for later, especially the younger one with the thin nose.
Pipe weed as it turns out, comes in two varieties: the normal stuff and the strong stuff. When I saw the origins of the strong stuff however, never mind smelled it, I had to laugh myself to tears. Without compunction we bought a few plants of the stronger stuff to take home.
We may have been military, but when not deployed we loved us some marijuana.
When we finally got on the road home, it was with several small barrels of some kind of cousin to tobacco and a few of the marijuana-like stuff. Once we sobered up from our first time in months getting stoned, at any rate. Somehow Andy had managed to keep her glass pipe in the time travel debacle and we had made damn good use of it that night.
We were still a little stoned the next day but again there was thankfully no trouble. Probably the rangers, I thought, remembering Strider's words about protecting the innocent. We weren't exactly innocent but appreciated the safety anyways.
"Only a few more weeks before you're a princess and out of this place," I teased Andy when we were in a bit of the forest I recognized as being just a few days from home, "Looking forward to it?"
For a long moment she thought about it. I could practically hear the circuits of her brain buzzing while she puzzled that over. "It'll be nice to not have to help with construction work anymore," she said cheerfully, side stepping the question, "And it's great to be in an actual town again with people I'm not related to."
Her optimism made me smile. "Yeah, those will be really nice," I agreed.
In the pit of my stomach, I still worried. There was a war coming up soon. Would Rohan even survive, and with it would Andy, Mackey, and Matt?