41

I'll Be Thinking Of You

Cadence looked up as Barry entered the apartment. "Hey, you're just in time," she said. "We have something really important to talk to you about."

"Yeah, I was thinking the same thing," Barry said. "Just give me a second to change." In that second he flashed through the apartment, taking off his clothes, taking a shower, and changing into other clothes before stopping at her side, leaning against the counter. "Okay, does it have anything to do with the bachelor/bachelorette parties, because I did pay off the credit card charges. If the bank is saying we didn't…" He reached over and ruffled Brady's hair in greeting.

"It's not that, Tholly, it's a little more serious," Cadence said. She turned her attention towards Brady, who suddenly shrank in his seat, as if he were nervous about saying something.

"Oh yeah?" Barry grabbed a banana from the bowl sitting on the counter, already feeling he needed to replace the potassium levels from his run. "What's going on?" He slowly stopped chewing when Brady bit his lower lip and looked away. "Did something happen at school? Did you blow something up? Cause I can tell you that that school has insurance for things like that." He wagged a finger. "Don't ask me how I know that."

"Your blowing up the gym is infamous, Barry," Brady spoke up. "I don't think they're ever going to forget about that." He shoved his hands in his front hoodie pocket and lifted his legs, which suddenly looked longer and more gangly than before, and pressed it against the island, twisting his chair back and forth. Nervously.

Barry's eyebrowed furrowed. He leaned forward and studied Brady's face, taking in his micro-expressions as Brady did everything to keep from meeting his eye.

"What's… going on?" Barry asked slowly. Brady lowered his chin, biting his lower lip. He opened and closed his mouth, even after Cadence's prodding to speak. "You know, I wanted to talk to you, too," he said. "Iris told me you said something to her when I was in the Speed Force, that upset her…"

At that, Brady's eyes widened. His chin jerked upwards, and he looked at Cadence as she sighed, lowering her chin. "Ummm." Brady pressed his lips together. "This might be something you want to talk to mom about. I'm going to hang out with Conner…let me know when dinner's ready." He phased before Cadence or Brady could stop him.

"Something tells me that you didn't want to talk about that," Barry said.

Cadence sighed, reaching up to scratch her forehead. She ran her fingers through her hair, straightening the ends between her heated fingers as she did so. Barry smiled to himself, watching the small display of her powers. It was always interesting to find the different ways they could use their abilities when they didn't have to keep hiding them.

"Not exactly, no, but you bringing up Iris kind of…" Cadence folded her arms. "It kind of has to do with the same thing." She explained what happened between herself, Iris, and Brady when he was in the Speed Force and what Brady had said. Barry listened quietly, taking everything in. "He was mad you were gone, he felt really hurt that you broke your promise to him."

Barry ran a hand through his hair. "I didn't have a choice, I had to go."

"We know that, but a boy that young doesn't." Cadence waved her hand. "We can argue about that and talk in circles about it as many times as we want. We have when you first got back and I don't really want to argue about it again. But I can understand his concern. He thinks that you might still love Iris, or that she loves you and that we won't get married."

"That's ridiculous!"

"Which part?" Cadence folded her arms, resting her hip against the island. She leaned toward him, warmth radiating off her. "Barry, when I first met you, three years ago, you were head over heels for her."

A defensive flush covered Barry's cheeks. "Just like you were interested in Roy?"

"I wasn't interested in him. He was just some fun. And he was completely in love with Thea, so that's a completely different thing."

"And were you still interested in Ryder?"

"Ryder and I were never going to be a thing. Our relationship ended the day he agreed to his parents sending him away and leaving me alone as a pregnant teenager." Cadence's gaze hardened, her eyes flashing with an inner flame. "But you're changing the subject."

"I don't think I know what the subject is. You haven't really said anything, but Brady thinks we're not going to get married because he thinks I'm still in love with Iris? Or that Iris loves me? Iris has never been in love with me, not like that, we've only ever been friends. From her end. Yes, I did have feelings for her at one point, but I love you. He knows that. And so do you."

"Tell that to an almost twelve-year-old boy who's already lost his dad," Cadence mumbled.

Barry took a deep breath, closing his eyes. He knew exactly how that felt. The free fall of not knowing how life was going to go, simply because of the loss of a parent. He'd not only lost his mom the day she was murdered, but his dad at the same time. Being in prison may as well have been another death sentence, then only for him to die later, at the hands of another one of his enemies.

If there were anyone who would understand the loss of a parent, it'd probably be Brady, though not with the same circumstances. Barry'd lost his parents due to his enemies wanting to hurt him in the worst possible way. Brady's had simply abandoned him.

"What do you mean?" Barry asked. "Ryder's really been stepping up, trying to be a dad to him."

Cadene shook her head. "Ryder's gone. He hasn't adapted to the whole meta things here in Central City and I think it really spooks him that Brady's a meta." She bobbed her head. "Half meta, technically. And…I think it was a lot all at once, of him wanting to meet Brady and then moving here to be with him and he's not really working out as a parent."

Barry finally turned his full attention to Cadence, noticing the tone of her voice change. With his superspeed he took in a bunch of her micro movements; the bite of her lower lip, the fluttering of her eyelashes, the very slight wrinkle in her nose, and he twitching of her lower lids.

Expression darkening, Barry clenched his hands into fists. "What happened?"

"Barry—"

"—He left him?"

"Remember when we were talking before, about you potentially adopting Brady?"

"I didn't want to do that," Barry said slowly, mind running a mile a minute. "I didn't want to take Ryder's place…I didn't want to take his rights away…like Joe wouldn't do, because my dad was still my dad." He noticed the expression on Cadence's face. "What?"

She walked over to the living room and picked up a stack of papers that sat on the coffee table. Somehow he'd missed it on his way around the apartment. She walked back to him and tossed it on the island in front of him. He quickly glanced over the words that covered the page, dissolution of rights to a child…

"Ryder left Central City," Cadence let out a breath through her nose. "After everything that's happened…he couldn't handle it anymore. Bright side is, he gives his blessing for the wedding and will probably still show up but…after that…"

Barry stared at Cadence, blinking slowly. Finally, he said in barely more than a whisper, "He's abandoning Brady?"

Cadence winced. "I didn't say that."

"You didn't have to, Cade. That's what he's doing!" The exclamation erupted from Barry in almost a shout. He noticed the distressed look on Cadence's face and lowered his voice, though he knew there was a very good chance Brady already knew what was being talked about. Either due to Cadence's nature of not keeping things from her son, or he was hiding in the darkened shadows of the room. "I can't believe he would do something like that to him. When he's such a little kid!"

"-He's twelve—"

"So? I was about that age when my mom was taken from me!" Barry cried, emotion ripping through his words. "And my dad! And…I can't…I could never understand why…but to make that choice…?"

"I know how you feel about it, but maybe it's the best choice."

"For who?"

"For Brady!" Cadence's voice reached his volume at her own outburst. Then it lowered. "And you." She grasped Barry's hand in hers, that warmth from before immediately filling his body from head to toe. "Barry…I want you to adopt Brady, and Brady wants to call you 'dad'."

"…What?"

"Yeah." Cadence smiled. "That's what he wanted to tell you and is acting like a teenage girl around her crush about. He wants to be able to start calling you 'dad' because he sees you as his dad. Not Ryder. And, honestly, I don't think he ever did see Ryder as his dad, you've always been there for him in that way."

"That's…" Barry ran a hand through his hair. "Wow, that's…I guess I never really thought about it before. I love Brady, so much. But…I didn't want to step on anyone's toes." He squeezed Cadence's hand. "Now I know how Joe felt." He looked meaningfully at Cadence. "And you, too, with your dad and Harrison…"

"If there's anyone who doesn't need any more dad's, it's me." Cadence shook her head. "I've already got more of them than I could ever count thanks to the other Earths." She lowered her chin. "So…what do you think?"

Barry felt a smile stretch its way across his face. The only thing he'd ever wanted in life, the goal he'd always wanted to reach of having his family back, a family to himself…he hadn't realized how badly he'd wanted it. His mother's death had haunted him as long as he could remember, his father's being in prison for something he hadn't done haunted him, striving to have that family with the Wests but knowing it wasn't his actual family.

Then he'd met and instantly became close with Brady, who looked up to and latched onto him without a second thought. Like it was meant to happen. Their relationship growing over time in a way that was the most organic than some of his other relationships…in that he'd never worried about Brady betraying him for anything.

"I think…" Barry cradled Cadence's face in his hands, smiling down at her. "I think that's the best thing I've heard in a long time." He kissed her, eyes wetting when he pulled back. "He really wants to call me 'dad'?"

"Yes! He really does." Cadence looped hear arms around his neck, smiling lovingly up at him. "And I can't wait for him to do it. I can't think of anyone who would be a better dad to him, Tholly. I've always known that." She gently scratched her fingers through the hair at the nape of his neck, sending shivers of pleasure up and down his spine. "You've always done everything you can to protect him, and me…" She studied him, taking in his shaking. "Are you nervous about something?" Cadence asked. She looked at him from the corner of her eye. "Is it the wedding? I know all of this was a lot of information…"

"No!" Barry said emphatically. "No, no, I'm not worried about the wedding. The wedding, things with Brady, our future…that's the one thing I'm not worried about." He quickly filled her in on what happened in the Cortext while she was at CCPD. "It's just that my Spidey-senses are tingling about this DeVoe guy. I mean Savitar and Kadabra warned us about him."

"Savitar was you, Tholly." Cadence dropped her hands from around his neck, folding her arms. "He was a part of you, you didn't know was there."

"A different version of me, yes. But…" He gestured with his arm, suddenly remembering he hadn't had Savitar intrude his thoughts or pop up in his life in a little while. A world without Savitar's sarcastic comments and reminders of his life being stolen was a quiet one. Albeit a bit unnerving that he'd suddenly pop up, like he had at one point when he was spending an intimate moment with his fiancée and suddenly had to explain why he was no longer in the mood. "Have you ever known me to not be reliable about things like this? Both of them saying that it has to mean something."

"Bare…"

"DeVoe could be behind everything, Cay! The Bus Metas, me coming out of the Speed Force at the wrong place, the Samuroid…"

"And the possibility of you wanting to find the bad guy and seeing things how you want to see them is…?"

Barry's eyebrows furrowed. "What's that supposed to mean?"

She lifted an eyebrow. "I'm just saying we're getting married in…I don't know when. So many things keep coming up. And we have to lock down a new DJ because the last one got too drunk and wouldn't stop dancing with the father of the bride."

Barry laughed through his nose. "You think Harrison would be into that?"

"My dad might've been," Cadence agreed. "Harrison…he only has eyes for Tess. And he really enjoys his personal space so I think anyone getting too close would get the world's worst glare in response."

"Mmm…that sounds more like Harry."

"Yeah and, we really need to cut down this guest list, too. I mean, we've got Oliver and Felicity and Diggle and Kara and Deity and the Legends and half of Metropolis from mom inviting almost everyone I've ever met in life. And Captain Singh and…" She twisted her mouth. "Why didn't we elope again?"

"We've got too many people in our lives who are counting on us to show them what true love is?" Cadence asked with a shrug as sarcastic as her tone of voice. Barry stared at her, taking in her words. Her sudden change in demeanor, the flatness to her tone. Something in his heart pinged, something that wasn't from him, but that he recognized from Earth-2 Barry. A feeling of longing for the woman that, on that Earth, he'd never been able to truly love before she was murdered on Earth-1. She sounded like Burnout.

"Is everything alright with you, Cade?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean…with what Brady said…with me being gone…I noticed it, too. When I got back, it's like you changed, too."

"I had to change," Cadence replied.

What sort of a comment was that? Things were supposed to stay the same while he was gone? He hadn't even been aware of how much time had passed while he was in the Speed Force, never seemed able to understand the sorts of things that would happen when it was involved. All at once, Barry remembered learning about all the other forces; the Safe Force, The Still Force, The Strength Force… A headache formed, there were too many mysterious to solve; all that intertwined with everything in some way, and so little time to figure it all out.

"I had to handle everything while you were gone," Cadence continued. "I had to become a leader and if that means I have to do some hard things sometimes, make the hard decisions, then I'm going to do that."

"It's…just not the Cade I know."

"What Cade did you ever know?" She gave him a funny look. "If you don't remember, I tried to kill you when we first met."

He waved that off. "That was just…a strange thing that happened. A blip on the radar."

"I'm sure many therapists would love to point out how you're wrong." She thought for a moment. "Or anyone who actually knew us but didn't know about our powers would probably think we're an actual danger to each other.

"A speedstar and a Firestarter? Who would've guessed," Barry agreed. "No matter what I get to marry the woman of my dreams a week from now. You know, sometimes I feel like…"

"What?"

"The luckiest man alive," Barry said. His eyebrows came together, something suddenly coming to mind. Cadence immediately recognized the look and gazed at him seriously asking, "Do you need me to go with you?" Barry shook his head. "No, this shouldn't take long. I just have a hunch…" He gave her a kiss. "Don't start dinner without me, I'll be back in a Flash."

With that, he super speeded out of Cadence's arms and across the city, pressing the doorbell of the house he stopped at a thousand times in the few seconds it took for the door to open.

"I was wondering when you were going to come see me," Harrison said, gazing at Barry with his icy blue eyes.

Barry pressed his lips together. "You knew the whole time, didn't you?" He asked. "About DeVoe."

"Yes, I did," Harrison replied. He stepped back. "Why don't you come inside?"

A/N: At least it didn't take me a full year to update again! I hope you all enjoyed it nevertheless.

Love y'all

Cheers,

-Riles