When I come to, I am lying on a chair watching myself on the projector screen again. I'm lying under the bed, shaking like a leaf and screaming, though the sound is still muted. There's no mud on the floor, no sign of a struggle but there's blood on my knuckles and hands. I can't tell if it's mine or not. Lucas is also nowhere to be seen. I tear my eyes from the projection and look around the room. Lucus is not here either. But in the corner, curled up with Lil Ted, is Vanessa who is fixated on the screen and sobbing. I rush over to her and scoop her up without a moment's hesitation. She curls into me, hiccuping and sobbing into my arms and I hold her tightly. "It's ok, I'm here, it's alright, I got you" I soothe and Vanessa shifts in my arms, staring up at me. "Is he gone?" she cries. "Is who gone?" I ask gently and she weeps "the bad man, the one who hurts us". I bite back tears of my own as I look around the room "he's not here, we're safe. It's just you and I here" I reply. Vanessa settles a little at that news and snuggles deeper into my cardigan. I sit with her, curling up on a beanbag together before returning my focus back to the projection. Other me is still under the bed but no longer alone. Ryan's curled up with her and his arms and face are battered and bruised, blood steadily drips from his nose as if someone had punched him. Vanessa shuffles about on my lap and taps my shoulder "it's ok, you didn't mean to hurt him" she states softly and I sigh heavily, still trying to process the fact it would appear that none of what just happened in my bedroom was real and somehow my innocent brother got injured by nobody else other than me. I gulp and look away, hugging Vanessa a little tighter. Her breaths even out and as time passes, she slowly falls asleep, curled up like a little cat on my lap.
The other version of me has moved out from under the bed and is bawling into Ryans shirt on the floor. I wish I could figure out how to turn on the sound but before I could look around for speakers or a remote, gentle footsteps are heard. I glance up as Jasper enters the room. He settles himself on the beanbag next to me and gestures to Vanessa "she ok?" he asks gruffly and I nod. "She fell asleep a while ago, whatever happened…" I trail off and motion to the projection "it freaked her out. Why was she even watching that? How can she see that?" I ask quietly. Jasper pauses, frowning deeply. "Jasper. How can she see that? What's going on? Why are you all here? Why am I here?". Jasper shifts and stands up and bends "let me take her to bed?" he asks gesturing to Vanessa and I glare at him "stop trying to shift the focus, answer my damn questions and then take her to bed" I snap and he chuckles softly before sitting down again. "Short answer is, she can see that because she's a part of you. We all are. Long answer is too complicated and something I don't want to let Vanessa know about, she's too young and needs to be a kid… ok?". I blink and then nod "Take Vanessa to bed then, none of that made any fucking sense and I imagine the long answer's gonna help with that?". Jasper nods and scoops Vanessa up before heading out the room.
I turn my attention back to the screen in front of me. Ryan and I haven't moved. So I shuffle out of the beanbag and skirt about the room in the hunt for the ability to turn the sound on. I don't get to find the remote before Jasper returns. To my surprise, he's not alone. Juniper is also with him. She grins at me, shuffling over to embrace me in a warm hug. I burrow into her and sigh "I haven't seen you for ages, where have you been?" I ask and I feel her breathe deeply before answering "I was looking after Vanessa and Ashley, they've needed me". I nod as I pull away and turn to face Jasper. "So, care to tell me what's going on? And why that" I gesture to the projection where I'm still curled up in Ryans arms, this time with paramedics alongside him "is silent and yet holds me… at the same time I'm here". Juniper and Jasper exchange a look, before they guide me to the sofa, sitting me in the middle and one of them on either side. Juniper pulls me close to her and Jasper grasps my hand. "You're sure you want to know?" he asks and I nod firmly "I need to know what's been going on. I need to" I state and he sighs "Ok, here we go" he replies.
Don't kill me for leaving this, the chapter was getting too long ;-)