A/N: I'm so sorry this is up a bit later than usual, but I really hope the wait was worth it. This is perhaps one of my most favorite chapters that I've written in a really long time, so I'm excited to hear what you all think :)
"I'm just saying, this is dangerous."
"Dangerous? Seriously?"
"If Jay was going to kill Hailey, he would have done it when they were making out in that bar. It would have been really easy to slip her some sort of drug."
Hailey rolls her eyes at her friends and turns from filling up her water bottle. "You're both ridiculous. There's nothing dangerous about doing yoga with a guy."
In about ten minutes, she needs to be out the door and on her way to meet Jay at her main gym. Her favorite yoga studio is open tonight, so she's booked it out to teach Jay yoga - or, at least, show him what yoga looks like. She has a feeling that he might not take anything she says to heart and remember the certain flows or even some of the individual poses. They're going to attempt yoga for a while before giving up and talking more about their plans for her studio. She's not stupid or naive.
She's actually looking forward to it. Getting to know Jay the past few times they've hung out has been fun. He makes her laugh, and he seems really sweet. Plus, she trusts that he'll do a good job on her studio. He's been pretty thorough with everything - not that she would know any different, but still, she thinks he's pretty smart and impressive.
"I don't think he's going to kill her," Vanessa sighs from her spot at the kitchen island, "He's smarter than that. I'm just worried about all the feelings involved - and not from Hailey. From Jay."
"Jay?" Hailey repeats, "What's so scary about Jay catching feelings?"
"What if he doesn't tell us something because he's afraid of how you'll react?" Vanessa asks.
Hailey shakes her head. "We talked about that. I told him he needs to tell me everything."
Vanessa purses her lips, and Hailey half expects her to say something else, but Kim then steps in and says, "Just be careful, okay? We trust you, and we want you to have fun, but we don't want any of this to go sideways on us."
"I know," Hailey replies. She makes sure she's looking directly at Vanessa as she adds, "It's all going to be fine."
She hates that her best friend is still hesitant about it all. No part of her feels good about the thought that her friends don't trust her relationship with Jay. Their gym is still the most important thing no matter how often she hangs out with Jay; she just wishes that they would believe her. She also doesn't know if she can blame them for being hesitant. They've put a lot of time and money into getting the space; they can't risk anything blowing it.
It doesn't make their comments and worries any less painful, though.
She tosses her water bottle in her gym bag before shouldering it and taking a deep breath. "I'll see you guys later."
Guilt crosses Kim's face, and she hurries over to say, "Have fun."
Hailey hums and fixes her ponytail from being tucked into the back of her jacket. Part of her feels like her friends are being selfish for worrying so much and putting so much doubt in her, but another part of her wonders if she's the selfish one for focusing more on herself and this friendly relationship she has going with Jay than what's to come with the gym. Then again, she figures a strong relationship with Jay will just lead to better work in the end, and that's definitely not a bad thing.
"Try not to break him," Vanessa says, and when Hailey looks at her, she sees the smallest of smiles on her friend's face, "We need him to tear down some walls for us."
She laughs slightly and replies, "Don't worry. I won't bend him till he breaks. He swears he's going to be good at it anyways, so we'll see."
"Boys always say that," Kim says, "They're such liars."
"Cocky," Vanessa adds with a wink toward Hailey.
She laughs again and grabs her keys off the counter. "I'll see you two later."
"Have fun!" Kim shouts as she makes her way to the door.
Hailey waves over her shoulder before stepping out into the crisp air. Breathing in slowly, she takes a second to steady herself.
She was just friends with Jay, that was it. Nothing more than friends who are going to be working together over the next couple of months. Achieving big goals of theirs. That was it.
Friends.
The reminder doesn't stop her heart from beating a little faster the whole drive to the gym, though. Her mind keeps wandering over what Jay will be wearing and how exactly she'll go about teaching him different poses. Some will certainly be easy enough for him to get the hang of, but she has a feeling he'll want to keep pushing for more. He'll know if she's giving him her beginner class or even the one she taught last spring at the rec center for older adults. But as they get more difficult, she has a feeling she's going to have to get closer to him, grab his arms, help him get just how he's supposed to be. He's not going to give up easily, and that's perhaps going to be the hardest part.
When she first started learning how to teach yoga, she would practice her directions on Kim and Vanessa, but that never felt good enough for her because they already knew how to do it all. They'd been going to enough classes together over the years that they could almost anticipate what she was going to have them do. There did need to be a consistency to her flows and classes, but she still wanted to make sure that what she was saying made sense to newer learners. She wanted the challenge.
Her first job teaching yoga was at the University of Chicago. She thought it'd feel full circle to go back to her roots and teach college students enough yoga to get them to turn off their brain for an hour. Within that first semester, she was able to build enough of a community that her yoga class on Tuesday nights was the most active out of all of them offered - she told herself that it was her doing and not the fact that there really weren't a lot of Tuesday night classes going on, making it also the most accessible for the students. Nevertheless, it gave her the confidence she needed to keep pushing forward. She took on more classes at the college, allowed herself to push her students to see what exactly she could teach, and branched out into the neighboring gyms.
She no longer taught at the college after having been offered a few higher paying jobs, but a part of her still craved that feeling. She loved the first few weeks of a semester when students would be trying out yoga for the first time. That was always her busiest time, and there was a thrill to seeing new faces, especially when they'd stick around after a month.
But then there was also the end of a semester when she'd announce that they were going to do their most intense flows yet, and the students would cheer her on and promise they were up to the challenge. She would look around at everyone pushing themselves into new postures, and she'd feel a burst of pride at all they'd accomplished.
Teaching Jay tonight most likely wasn't going to fall into either of those exciting categories, but she had a feeling she was going to enjoy it. They had enough fun as it was when they were just getting coffee, so there was no reason those same feelings wouldn't come up while she was showing him what yoga was all about.
When she pulls into the parking lot, she makes her way to her usual spot on the side of the gym, but there is already a truck sitting there. Her nose scrunches up in annoyance, and she gives in to parking next to it. Looking to her left, her annoyance quickly fades at the sight of Jay tapping at his steering wheel and looking in his rearview mirror.
She laughs softly at the coincidence and hops out of her car. Grabbing her bag, she can't help but hurry around his truck to knock on his window.
He winces in shock, then looks over at her with a laugh. "Hey!" he greets while opening his door, "How'd you find me?"
"You're in my spot," she teases, stepping back for him to get out.
"Your spot?" he repeats as he gets out of the truck. He steps over to the front of his truck and looks for something before turning back to her with a smirk. "I'm not seeing a Hailey Upton sign."
She laughs and says, "There isn't a sign, but that's just where I park every time I come here. It's always open, except for tonight - because of you."
"Sorry," Jay chuckles. He grabs a water bottle from his truck before closing the door and asking, "Do I need anything else?"
She looks over his baggy grey sweatshirt and black sweatpants and shakes her head. "Nope. I've got the rest for you."
He nods and follows her into the gym. As they make their way to the empty studio, he looks around and murmurs, "This place is pretty nice. I've never been here before."
"It's my favorite one I go to," Hailey answers. She scans her ID badge at the door to the studio then pushes it open for him. "It's just so nice and always clean. The other workers are fun to hang out with, and it's a good clientele."
Jay chuckles when he steps in behind her and watches her close the door before repeating, "Clientele? Look how fancy you are."
She rolls her eyes and sets her bag down. "That's the word."
"It's a pretty big word," Jay counters. He sets his water down and turns to look around, his hands already grabbing at the bottom of his sweatshirt as he asks, "Did you go to college?"
Hailey watches him pull his sweatshirt off to reveal a white t-shirt and breathes in slowly. The material bunches up around his chest, and he quickly tugs it down before turning to look at her for her answer.
"Uh, yeah, of course," she says, making sure she's looking back up at his face when she answers, "University of Chicago. I went through their business program and majored in Comparative Human Development."
Jay's eyes widen, and he breathes, "What?"
She shrugs slightly and shoots him a small smile. She's gotten that response from most people she tells her schooling to. It'd been a lot of work to the point that she felt like she was going to snap at the end, but she survived and she's proud of all the work she put into earning her degree.
"That's pretty damn impressive," Jay says, "Wow. Good for you."
"Thank you," she replies. She squats down to pull out the two yoga mats she'd brought and asks, "What about you? I know you were in-"
"Yeah, that's…that's all I did," Jay says quietly. He picks up one of the yoga mats and asks, "Where should I set this up?"
"Uh." Hailey glances at him and notes that he's looking anywhere but at her right now. Guilt flashes through her. She'd heard of people joining the army after college or even doing college once they came home; she had no idea that he hadn't gone. It wasn't a big deal to her that he didn't have a degree. It wasn't even a deal of any sorts. She doesn't care - especially since he seems to have made something of himself after Afghanistan.
"Just right there," she says softly. She tosses over a towel and adds, "Lay that out on top."
She'd grabbed her black mat and towel for Jay, thinking he'd appreciate that more than her extra pink set. They remain quiet as she sets her yellow mat and matching towel out. Once her spot is settled, she glances up at Jay trying to get the towel as smooth as possible next to her. A smile spreads across her face as she sits down to take off her shoes.
"It's not going to kill you if there's a wrinkle or two," she says gently.
"I don't want to fall," Jay replies, still smoothing out the bumps in the towel.
She laughs softly and slips her socks off. "The towel's not going to make you fall; it'll be your balance that gets you." Tossing her own sweatshirt to the side, she nods toward his mat and says, "Sit."
Jay looks down at her then lets out a quiet laugh and nods. "Fine then. If you say so."
"I do," she laughs.
Chuckling, he steps back from the mat to toe off his tennis shoes and pull at his sweatpants. To her surprise, he has a pair of red basketball shorts on underneath. "Socks too?" he asks, sitting down on the mat.
"Do you want to slip?" she counters.
"No," he breathes, already taking that as her answer and pulling his socks off. He balls them up to set inside his shoes then turns to give her his full attention. "Ready."
She smiles back at him and gently teases, "Are you sure?"
He quietly mocks her then says, "Yes, obviously. Teach me your ways."
Laughing, she stands up and says, "Make your way to the back of the mat."
"Do I stare at you as I do it?" he asks, "That feels weird and maybe a little creepy."
"Well, you should look to see what I'm doing, but no, you don't have to stare the entire time. You're right: that does sound kind of creepy." She centers herself at the back of the mat and says, "Sun salutation to start."
"Sun…okay," Jay whispers.
Hailey laughs softly and talks through each movement she makes. "Reach up to the sky then bend down and touch your toes." With her fingers on top of her feet, she closes her eyes and trusts that Jay's following along.
If she focuses on just getting him through the next forty-five minutes, then she can stop worrying about if she insulted him or not - if that's even what happened. She certainly didn't mean to upset him by asking about college, and she hopes that moving past it will be the best move.
"Now walk your hands out so you're in a plank," she says as she transitions into her next pose, "And just wait there for a second."
"There are planks in yoga?"
"Not long ones, but yeah. You have to have core strength. Take three deep breaths right here."
"I'm not even there yet."
"What?"
Hailey looks to her right to see Jay slowly moving his hands out from being bent forward. She's not quite convinced he had even touched the ground, but he definitely tried and seemed to get close enough. He huffs out a breath once he gets in position, and she stares for a second before trying the next best thing to distract them from the college discussion: teasing.
"Get your ass down."
"What?" he asks, looking up at her.
She smirks and carefully releases her hand from the ground to point at him and repeat, "Get your ass down. We're not doing down dog yet. Do a plank."
"Oh, I see how we're playing this," Jay chuckles. Shaking his head, he readjusts himself then asks, "Better?"
"Much," she laughs. She looks back down at her mat and says, "Now lower yourself to the ground; we're going to do upward-facing dog." Out of the corner of her eye, she sees Jay follow her lead and smiles to herself. The concentration on his face proves to her that he's perhaps trying a little harder than he needs to be.
"So dogs, huh? I wouldn't think dogs were the yoga animal."
She laughs again and says, "Uh, not just dogs, I'll show you some others in a few minutes. And I'd actually consider cats the yoga animal - sorry."
Jay laughs with her. "No problem. As long as this isn't cat yoga, I'm good."
Hailey smiles at him over her shoulder then says, "I did goat yoga once."
"What the hell? That's not a thing," he replies.
"It is," she laughs, "We went to a farm, and there were little baby goats that ran around us as we did the class. It was fun. Kim hated it because she thought it was just too dirty-"
"Which I'm sure it was," Jay interrupts, "Hailey, you should just be thankful you didn't get a disease from that."
Laughing harder, she shakes her head and pushes back up into a plank before saying, "Downward dog," and moving into position.
Through her arms, she can see Jay struggle for a second before adjusting his hands and feet and pushing up. "Did you seriously do all that in one movement?"
She hums her reply and closes her eyes, letting her head hang loose. Downward dog isn't her favorite pose to hold for long, but she does appreciate the stretch and clarity it gives her. To her, downward dog is the real start of her flow and class. It's what people expect yoga to consist of and is an easy in for them to get in the right mindset.
If they take it seriously.
"How long do we do this for?"
"A minute," she says, opening her eyes to look back at him.
Jay nods and huffs again as he moves his feet around, probably to get comfortable.
"Bend your knees," she says, "And lower your heels."
"What?"
She smiles at what she expects to be his typical response and says, "Put a little bend in your knees - there you go - and then try to touch your heels to the ground; you're up too high."
"They don't touch the ground."
"Yes, they do," she laughs, "Scoot them back a little bit. Yup. And…there!"
"I thought this was the easy one," Jay says.
Hailey smiles and turns back to look at her mat. "It is."
"Not too sure about that," Jay whispers.
She laughs softly and closes her eyes again, counting to thirty before letting out a breath and beginning to straighten up. "Move back into a standing position - slowly - but stay bent over to touch the ground. Be careful."
Jay grunts quietly before doing as she says. She peeks open an eye to look at him and sees him reaching his fingertips to touch the ground. The expression on his face is unreadable and leaves her confused. She knows that men aren't as flexible as women, so it shouldn't be a big deal if he can't do it. It's just touching the floor; they're about to be doing a lot more than that.
"Slowly stand up," she says softly. Once straightened up, she turns to watch him and shoots him a smile once he meets her eyes. "Warmed-up?"
He laughs slightly and rubs a hand over his face. "Maybe."
"Then let's go," she says, her smile widening on her face.
It takes about ten minutes of rather quiet yoga before Jay can't keep it in anymore and starts whispering about how this is harder than he thought it'd be. Hailey can't hold back her laughter after that.
He's trying, she'll give him that, but it's not coming easy to him and the frustration is evident. When she looks over to him to fix the position of his feet, he's grimacing back at her before joining her laughter and telling her that he doesn't "move this way" and that "men aren't supposed to do this."
Not once does he give up, though. He's sweating and struggling, but he doesn't mention anything about stopping or make any movement to sit something out. He shoots back up when he loses his balance during half-moon and asks if he can do his own thing with his arms when eagle makes him "feel like his shoulders are going to pop out of their sockets."
Like she expected, it's fun. They're not talking nearly as much as they had at the cafe, but they struggle to not laugh. She feels like it's actually pushing her own stamina as she goes through her usual flows because the laughter bubbling in her stomach is making it hard to focus on staying still and holding anything for longer than thirty seconds.
It becomes a problem when they near the end and she's trying to teach Jay the lord of the dance. He keeps kicking his foot up behind him, but when he goes to grab it, it just smacks back down behind him, and they laugh at the way it doesn't seem to work for him.
"I swear to god," he laughs, wiping his forehead of sweat before trying again.
She laughs in her own position and says, "Try the other leg."
"I did, Hailey," he grunts, but still does as she asks.
Again, she laughs when his hand misses his foot.
"All right, all right, this is the one, I've got this," Jay murmurs. He reaches back to grab his foot, and, to both their surprise, succeeds. "Hey!"
"You did it!" Hailey cheers.
But Jay starts swaying instantly, and any pride in his face at what he'd done disappears and is replaced with concentration so he doesn't fall.
"Come on," Hailey laughs, "Focus! Hold it!"
"I know, I know, shh, I…"
Hailey bites her lip over her smile and watches as he settles down and steadies himself with a deep breath. She had known it would probably be cruel to put this pose in, but Jay had made it clear that he was going to try anything she presented him with, so she had to give it a shot.
He's not looking at her, instead staring down at the ground like she'd advised him earlier to try and hold steady. There's sweat falling down the side of his face, and his t-shirt has begun to stick to him. With his arm out in front of him, she can see the muscles tensing as he huffs out a breath. It's a completely different Jay than the one she'd first met at the bar, but this one makes her smile a whole lot more. He's vulnerable in front of her, letting her know that he can't do everything she can, but that he wants to try for her. He's putting in the work and laughing when things get hard. Not once does she see his temper come out or even any sort of anger at what's going on. He's handling the hard parts with a normal amount of frustration, and she feels her heart flutter at the thought.
It is just yoga and there really aren't any stakes, but she still thinks it shows her a lot about who he is. He didn't blow her off once about any of this, something that is important to her and something that she really does love. He's allowing her to teach him something about herself and is happily doing so. She can't help but think that all of this is showing her what kind of man he is, and she's not sure any of her past boyfriends or even her family would be acting like this right now.
The thought makes her fall over.
The yoga mat sort of softens the blow, but it still hurts when she topples down onto it straight on her left arm.
"What the hell?" Jay says as he scrambles down to kneel next to her.
"I'm fine," she breathes, sitting up.
Jay shoots her a look that tells her he doesn't believe what she says. Before she can stop him, he's grabbing her wrist and gently touching it. "Does this hurt?"
"Yeah, but not in a broken way," she says, "It's fine."
Jay shakes his head and starts rubbing his hand over her warm skin, focusing on her elbow and wrist. "Do you have ice around here?"
"Jay, I'm fine," she laughs, "You don't need to do anything."
He purses his lips and sits back, but keeps one hand wrapped around her elbow while his other settles on her calf. It does throb in his hold, but she knows it truly is fine. It's not the first time she's fallen during yoga, and it probably won't be the last. It happens.
But having Jay with her is already making it a lot better.
"What happened?" he asks, "Did your hand slip?"
More like her mind, but she can't tell him that. She doesn't want to let him know what seeing him attempt her favorite activity did to her, so she nods and breathes, "Yeah, no big deal."
Jay hums and brushes his thumb over her elbow, and the feeling makes her close her eyes. It's another difference between him now and back at the bar: he's gentle with her. Not that he ever would have hurt her back in that bathroom, but he had known what he wanted then. He was kissing her with all he had and pulling her hair and pressing her against the door, and she could have passed out from it all. This Jay is still close to her, close enough that she can feel the heat coming off of his skin, and his hands are on her, but he's not doing anything but comfort her - despite her knowing she doesn't need it. He very well could push her back on her mat right this second and have his way with her, and she'd let him. Instead, his thumb is rubbing slow circles over her skin and his other hand is a gentle pressure on her leg. He's here, he's not going anywhere, and she thinks it's incredibly sweet.
"Sure you're okay?" he breathes, "You don't need anything?"
She opens her eyes and nods. "I'm sure. Just bruised my ego."
He chuckles and releases her leg to reach over and tuck a stray strand of hair behind her ear. "No need to worry about that. I won't tell."
She raises an eyebrow and asks, "Really?"
"I mean, if you stand up and start swaying or fall over, then I'm gonna call an ambulance, but if you can stand up and function, then this stays between us," Jay assures with a smile.
"Thank you," she says. Moving up onto her knees, she adds, "Though that's not what I'm super worried about. I was talking a big game until I fell."
Jay smirks and stands up, putting his hands out for her. "It happens. I'm sure you'll see me accidentally take a hammer to my thumb or trip while I'm walking around at your place. No one's perfect."
With a deep breath, she grabs his hands and lets him help her up. "Thank you. I'll remember that, though, when you do inevitably get hurt and get sad because your own ego is bruised."
He laughs and steps back from her, his fingers gently gripping onto hers before dropping to his side. "Well, thanks for showing me what this is all about. I had fun."
She raises an eyebrow again and moves back on one heel to get a better look at him. "We're not done."
"We're not?"
"No. We have a few v-sits, and then a cool down."
Hailey makes her way back down to her mat and reaches over to pat his.
"Well, it's not named after an animal, so I guess I'll try," Jay breathes, sitting down as well.
Hailey laughs. "We didn't just do animal poses."
Jay winks, and she knows he knows the truth, but he's saying it to make her smile, and she makes a mental note to make a small flow for them to do some other time that really does only focus on different animals.
"You can grab your legs for this one if you need to, but otherwise arms and legs straight out," she explains while leaning backwards and moving into a v-sit.
"Oh, I can do this," Jay says. He follows her lead for the next minute, setting his feet down when she does before shooting back up with her.
After their third set, she glances over at him and smirks. "You don't have to do this next one, but sometimes we add it in for the more advanced classes."
He raises an eyebrow in question and wraps his arms around his knees to watch her.
"It's called chakrasana," she explains while laying on her back. Pushing her hands underneath her, she goes up into a bridge and takes a breath.
"That's called crab walk," Jay laughs, "I can-"
The second she pushes up, arching her back and sending her hips in the air, he stops talking and she continues, "It's also called wheel. It took me a while to learn. Vanessa got it right away, and it kind of pissed me off, but I got here eventually. Now it's one of my favorites to do."
"You look like you belong in gymnastics," Jay says.
She smiles and closes her eyes for a moment before transitioning back down to the mat and turning to look at him. "You really think you can do that?"
"No," he laughs, "I know I wouldn't be able to. My arms might snap if I even try."
"That'd never happen," Hailey laughs. She sits at the back of her mat to face him and says, "You should do the cool down, though." Stretching her legs out in front of her, she bends forward and grips onto the bottoms of her feet.
Jay hesitates next to her then nods and scoots back to follow her lead. He makes a quiet noise next to her, so she peeks open an eye to watch him stretching as hard as he can before resting his hands on top of his feet.
"You good?" she asks softly.
"Yeah. Flexibility's not my strong suit," he replies.
She smiles and nods, looking back down at her knees. "That's okay. You're good at other things. You can't have it all."
He chuckles and asks, "And what else do you think I'm good at?"
Thankful that her arms are shielding her face from her flushing cheeks, she answers, "Construction," because it's the safe answer. He certainly is also good at making her laugh and moan and smile and feel relaxed, but this is also the truth. He has to be good at construction to know that's what he wants to do for the rest of his life.
"You've never seen anything that I've made or done."
"I just know."
"Uh-huh."
Hailey's smile widens, and she sits up, eyeing Jay as he does the same thing. "Here's another animal for you: pigeon."
"Pigeon?" he laughs, "I hate those damn birds. Why are they so big?"
"I don't know," she says, her own laughter filling her voice. She flips herself around and tucks her right leg under her hips as her left leg goes behind her. Leaning forward over her right leg, she says, "Have you heard the theory that they're robots?"
"No," Jay chuckles. He stares at her for a moment then tries to follow her lead. He can't bend over as much as she can and his back leg isn't nearly as straight, but he's made an attempt, and she's good with it.
"Does it hurt?" she asks, "If it does, you might have to adjust your hips."
"It's something," Jay counters.
Hailey laughs softly and glances over at him. "Seriously, if you need to move-"
"I'm good, promise," he says. He looks up and meets her eyes, smiling when he catches her staring at him.
A smile crosses her lips in reply before she leans back down to hide her smile in her arms.
Unlike Vanessa, she's never had a guy even ask to practice yoga with her, but she can certainly see how it's led to her having more than one instance of falling into bed with the guy. There are several things she's said in the past nearly forty-five minutes that could be construed different ways to an outsider. She hadn't missed the smirks Jay would keep to himself or the quiet chuckles, and she's almost shocked he hasn't said anything about it. Though she assumes that he might not be sure of where they stand right this moment after the teasing he'd done in the bar, so maybe it is better off that he keeps any jokes to himself.
"Switch legs," she announces, carefully unfolding from her pose and readjusting herself.
Just as she's leaning forward to stretch, she hears Jay gasp next to her, and she shoots up to see him leaning back and rubbing at his hip.
"What happened?" she asks.
He waves her off, but does nothing to hide the grimace on his face.
"Jay," she says while crawling over to him.
"Moved a weird way, that's all," he answers, "I'll be good in a second, don't worry."
She raises an eyebrow and moves onto his mat to sit next to him. "Do you think you pulled something?"
He shakes his head and lets out a slow breath, and she can tell he's working at keeping whatever pain he's in at bay. She narrows her eyes as she follows where his hand is, and it's definitely not in his thigh where she'd assume he'd be hurting if he really had pulled a muscle. Instead, he's rubbing at his hip and lower back, leaning forward as if to ease the pressure on it. If she were to ask about it again, he would surely blow her off, so she simply stands up and heads into the storage room at the front of the studio.
"What're you doing?" he calls out.
Ignoring him, she looks through the first aid kit until she finds one of the disposable ice packs that she quickly pops. She walks back out to him and says, "Put this on it."
There's a brief look in his eyes that tells her he'd love to push her hand away, but he fights it and grabs the ice pack from her. "Thank you," he says quietly.
She nods and sits next to him again. He's quick in putting the ice exactly where he needs it, which leads her to believe this isn't the first time he's had to do anything about it.
She could not say anything about what's going on, maybe even close her eyes and finish off their "class" by meditating like she usually would, but she wants to know about Jay even more. She wants the hard conversations and the awkward moments with him. Falling in front of him while doing the thing she loves most has been rather vulnerable already today, she figures it was about time he returned the favor.
"When did it happen?" she asks softly.
He looks up at her and hums.
"Your leg," she clarifies, "Or your hip or back or whatever. When?"
"Oh."
If possible, he becomes even quieter than he was, and yet he doesn't look away. She wouldn't blame him if he did. She's pushing him for personal information about himself that he really doesn't have to share with her - a complete stranger.
But, to her, they don't feel like strangers. More like people who were always supposed to meet. Without even talking to Jay, she had felt like he was someone she could trust with her life. She literally did follow him without even knowing who he was, and she really did have every reason to say no given the situation. And yet she had found it in herself to ignore reality and push for some sort of relationship between the two of them. She wanted to know more about him, and she even wanted him to know more about her.
She wanted to try.
So that meant asking the questions that probably should remain in her head and bringing him into her safe space and hoping for the best. He was someone she wanted to spend time with outside of "work," and that was clearly starting today.
She offers a small smile and hopes that he can read her mind enough: she'd love for him to answer the question, but she's also okay if he takes an out and ignores what she'd said. She doesn't want to make him more uncomfortable than he physically already is.
"I was in Afghanistan, you know," he begins quietly, "And the reason I came home the second time was because I was involved in a pretty bad car explosion. Mouse was there, and six other guys. The two of us were the only ones who made it out whole. Three…um, three died right then." He clears his throat and finally pulls his eyes from hers to look down at the mat beneath him. "And another died later that same day from everything that had happened. The other two both lost a leg and had some pretty serious burns. And then there was Mouse and I, and we…we got too lucky."
"Jay," she whispers.
He shakes his head and glances up at her before quickly looking away again. "You don't have to do that. It's fine. I mean, it's not, but it is. I'm working through it. We don't…I don't want to talk about all that. But that's what's going on with me and why this sport isn't that easy."
Reluctantly, Hailey feels a smile slip briefly across her face. She absolutely doesn't want to make light of anything that he's telling her, but she knows what he's doing and that he wants her to feel better about it all.
"I don't know if I'd call yoga a sport," she murmurs.
Jay chuckles and rubs his free hand over his face. Finally meeting her eyes again, he says, "Then what counts as a sport? Do you have an official definition?"
Hailey laughs softly and leans back against her hands. "Oh gosh, I don't know. That's a bit hard to do, but let's see…some sort of competitive nature, right? We really weren't competing right now."
"We could have been, though," Jay says, trying to smile back at her, "We could have timed ourselves in the different poses or we could have tried speeding through the entire thing. Maybe there are points for how well you do it all."
"I guess," she says, "I could see that being a real thing."
"Right?" Jay chuckles. He lets out a breath and adjusts the ice on his side before adding, "I also feel like most sports can become team sports. Whether that's through earning points individually and adding them up or doing a relay of sorts or obviously by working as a team. I think yoga could fall into any of those categories. Actually, are there partner yoga poses?"
"Oh, yes," Hailey answers with a laugh, "That's definitely a thing."
"Cool," Jay replies, "I mean, I'm not open to doing them with you because that sounds like it'd be above my abilities, but that'd be cool to see."
Hailey laughs harder and gently shoves his arm. "I'm sure you could figure it out. I trust you to not drop me if we were doing anything along those lines."
Jay laughs with her and sits up more. "I can promise you I would try my hardest to keep you from falling on the ground. Clearly, you wouldn't be able to keep that promise to yourself."
"Hey!" she laughs, "Rude!"
He winks at her and says, "It was easy: it was right there."
She smiles back at him and shakes her head. "You could have ignored it."
"I could never," Jay says, "It made you laugh, and I like when you do that."
She softens and tilts her head to the side. Her cheeks flare red, but she does smile in reply and feel her heart beat a little faster.
This is tiptoeing toward that line that she didn't want to cross, but she certainly doesn't mind. She's okay with him pushing their friendship and work relationship to its boundaries - she can't deny that she's not also trying to see how far she can go.
"You do?"
"Yeah, lets me know that you're happy and enjoying yourself."
"Of course I'm happy."
Jay raises an eyebrow, and she knows exactly why. She nods in reply and takes a deep breath.
Him.
Spending time with him.
Doing what she loves with him.
Getting to know him.
But saying the words aloud feels a little too forward. They can push the boundaries, but they still need to respect them - the walls need to exist in order for their work to succeed.
So she gestures around and softly says, "How could I not be? I'm in my favorite place."
Thankfully, Jay laughs and relaxes next to her. "I don't know," he murmurs, following her gaze, "This is a pretty nice place. I think I'll have to come back here."
"You're always welcome," Hailey says. When he glances back at her, she quickly says, "Memberships aren't that much, if you're interested."
"Ah," Jay hums. Nodding, he studies her for a moment, surely trying to see where she stands with those same unspoken boundaries, then asks, "And if I want to try my hand at yoga again?"
"Then you know where to find me," she answers without even thinking through the implications of her answer but also not even caring. She wants him to know - needs him to know - that she'll always be willing to spend time with him, doing something she enjoys, if that's what he'd like to do. She's more than willing to show him her passion.
"And I know how to get a hold of you," Jay says, nodding over to his discarded sweats.
She hums and pulls her feet under her. "You can definitely text or call. I'm available almost always."
Jay chuckles and says, "Yeah? Not too busy outside of teaching yoga? Not spending time with your friends or family or…or another guy?"
The sting of the mention of her family fades as quickly as it appears. It's the most forward they've been when mentioning any sort of possible relationship between the two of them outside of just saying it can't happen. She can't imagine how she'd feel if she found out he had a girlfriend all this time, so she understands where he's coming from with the question: a bit of curiosity and a lot of self-preservation.
Shaking her head, she breathes, "No other guy and not a lot of family, but I do spend time with my friends. Though we do live together, so I don't mind breaks every once in a while."
Jay laughs and nods. "I can see that. I definitely need some time away from Mouse a few times a week."
Her smile widens, and she gently nudges her shoulder to his. "Is that all I am then? Just an escape from your friend?"
"And roommate," he corrects, causing them both to laugh.
She realizes she loves the sound of his laughter as well, especially after their previous conversation about Afghanistan. He went through some unimaginable stuff, but hearing him still laugh and have the ability to have fun right now tells her just how strong he is. She can't imagine what she'd be doing if four of her friends and coworkers suddenly died in such a tragic way. He's strong for surviving the mental game of it all, and she's proud of who he is because of that.
She's not quite sure how to say that, though. She doesn't even know how he dealt with it when it all first happened. Perhaps he's just grown from the tragedy and did struggle at the beginning, but asking about that seems to be just going backwards with it all. Without them truly knowing each other and having a deeper relationship, she doesn't feel comfortable pushing for more information that might bring up the past in ways he wasn't expecting. Instead, she figures no words would be better than anything that possibly make the moment awkward, so she reaches her hand over to cover his on the mat and tilts her head to the side.
He looks in her eyes, and she - thankfully - feels like he can read her mind. Most days, it'd probably be a horrible thing, but, right now, she feels like he's hearing everything that she's struggling to put into words.
To her relief, he nods and murmurs, "I know."
What exactly he knows, she's not really sure; however, she understands the sentiment and feels any possible tension release from her shoulders.
Jay leans toward her slightly and breathes, "You were a good teacher."
She lets out a quiet laugh and murmurs, "Good to hear. It's kind of what I've spent the last few years of my life trying to perfect."
"You succeeded," Jay replies. His eyes flicker down to her lips, and his head inches toward her again.
"It helps that I had a good student," she says quietly, and her lips tip up in a smile when Jay chuckles in reply.
"I try," he says.
She laughs again and lets her eyes dart quickly across his face - his long eyelashes and the freckles across his nose and the way his lips are tipping upward in something that almost resembles a smirk. She shouldn't be doing any of this right now, but her heart is beating fast and she doesn't know if she actually has the strength to stop him. The yoga studio will always be the most important thing for her, and yet she finds herself wanting to put that to the side for right now. She'd much rather lean into Jay than a future that hasn't even come to fruition yet.
He's close enough now that she can barely feel his breath against her warming skin. Throughout their "class," he'd gotten a bit sweaty, and he'd tried brushing it away, which just sent his hair into a mess. She hadn't realized his hair was wavy in the least, but now that she's here and so incredibly close to him, she's taking in every single little detail.
He leans forward again so that his nose brushes against hers. "You look pretty today, by the way."
She hums and lets her eyes flutter close. "I'm sweaty."
Jay chuckles close enough to her lips that she swears the sound reverberates through her own chest. "You're beautiful. Did you wear the blue set on purpose?"
Perhaps.
"No."
"Liar."
She smirks and moves even closer to him, feeling more of his body against her as she settles into him. Still, his lips haven't met hers, but they're one right move away from forgoing any of their previous statements that they'd remain simply friends throughout this entire process.
There was nothing to say that friends couldn't kiss. Maybe she'd never found herself in need to kiss her friends, but that doesn't mean she can't start now. Kissing Jay didn't have to mean anything besides giving in to her attraction toward him. It could even just be a one time thing - or at least a casual thing. Feelings didn't have to get involved. They could remain friends and coworkers of sorts all while occasionally sneaking away and kissing in a closet or another bar bathroom. She figured she would be fine with that.
At least, right now she is.
"You can tell me to stop," Jay whispers.
She shakes her head, brushing her nose against his again. "I don't…I don't want you to stop."
"Good," he hums, "I don't want to either."
There's a soft thud as Jay's right hand drops the ice pack behind him and comes up to cup her jaw.
"Oh," she gasps.
"Cold?" he guesses.
She hums and nods against him.
"Sorry." He rubs his thumb over her skin for a moment before lightly nudging her head to the side and leaning over to brush his lips to where his frozen fingers had just been. "Better?" he whispers in her ear.
"Maybe once more for good measure."
He chuckles and slowly kisses along her jaw. The feeling might not exactly cure the chill that had seeped over her face upon his touch, but it's certainly warming something within her gut - something that she's actively trying to fight because it's telling her to swing a leg over his lap right now and get on top of him. She doesn't want that. Not yet. Not when they were just testing the waters.
Jay's cold hand slips behind her head and makes its way beneath her ponytail to tilt her head back toward him. "Is that-"
She kisses him.
She doesn't need him to ask any more questions or worry any more about how fake cold she is right now. She needs her lips on his and any words that he was going to say to fade away.
She needs him.
He smirks against her lips and allows her to take control of the kiss. This is for her today. Back at the bar, everything had been according to him; now, she gets to be in the driver seat.
He did say she was the teacher, after all.
His hand slips out from underneath hers and settles on her thigh, burning its way through her leggings. The heat that's building within her isn't stamped down like if it'd been his other hand grabbing her. Instead, she takes his movement as a signal that it'd be okay for her to touch him as well. It's something she'd been wanting to do since she saw his back as he'd pulled his sweatshirt off earlier.
She pushes up on her knees to get a better angle and can't help but laugh when Jay's lips chase hers in the movement. Grabbing at his shoulder with one hand and slipping the other around to lightly tug at his hair, she sucks in a breath and presses herself closer to him.
"Come 'ere," he murmurs before pulling at her hips.
She gasps when he pulls her on top of him, then quickly ignores the shock as her hips slot together with his. He moans beneath her, and she loves the way her lips stifle the sound.
Between her leggings and his basketball shorts, she feels little material blocking her from feeling anything and uses the leverage of gripping his shoulder to allow her to press down on top of him.
"Hailey," he says through a moan.
She hums and returns to kissing him, wishing they could not talk for a little bit longer. Her tongue brushes out against his bottom lip, and whatever he was going to say seems to fade away for a moment as he matches everything she's doing.
She can't hold in the noises that are bubbling within her stomach. She can't even breathe. It's taking everything in her to remember to grab air when she can, but the sounds that are slipping out of Jay are just as distracting as what he's doing with his own lips and fingers that are slowly making her lose sight of reality. His right hand, once frozen from the ice pack, is still guiding her head and keeping her tight to him, giving her little room to pull back and get a true breath of fresh air. His other is inching closer and closer toward her waist, his thumb rubbing at the seam of her underwear and making quiet moans escape her lips. She has never thought Vanessa was right in choosing to forgo any sort of underwear when working out, but, right now, she hates that she didn't follow her friend's advice.
She didn't go into this thinking she was actually going to go any further than kissing Jay today, but all of that has gone from her mind. She'd happily keep going if that's what he wanted to do. She is down for absolutely anything and any form of exercise right now.
As Jay's lips finally release from hers and begin making their way across her jaw again, she closes her eyes and tips her head back. It's better than it'd been in the bar. Now, she knows who this man is on a deeper level. She would never deny that not exactly knowing Jay had increased the thrill and her adrenaline level that night, but now that she has a better idea of what he's like and who he is, everything is feeling so much better.
He kisses down her throat until he's at the juncture of her throat. She's never been more grateful for choosing to work out in solely a sports bra and leggings until right now. She'd give him all of her skin if that's what he wanted.
His teeth scrape against her, causing her eyes to roll back slightly and a gasp to leave her lips. It all just encourages him, and his grip tightens on both her neck and her waist. He pulls her tighter against him, and she whimpers out her moan.
But just as his tongue darts out to soothe over the mark he'd surely left on her, her eyes shoot open, and she understands what he's just done.
He presses a kiss there as well then trails his lips down the center of her chest. "Beautiful," he murmurs, and his hand releases her waist to slide up her back.
"Jay," she whispers, the suddenness of it all starting to sink in.
She has absolutely no regrets about any of it, but the thought of what Vanessa would say if she were to see whatever mark Jay left on her worries her in ways that it shouldn't. Vanessa may be her best friend who wants her happy, but she's made her thoughts on Jay rather clear: the relationship should not happen as long as they're working together on the yoga studio. If she were to see any sort of mark on her skin, she'd certainly know who put it there, and the argument that would follow would sting greater than their previous one had.
"You can tell me to stop at any time," he breathes against her skin. His thumb rubs beneath the right cup of her sports bra and nearly makes her forget what she needs to do - what she really doesn't want to do. He has a plan on what he wants to do himself, and she hates that she's going to need to put an end to it: she'd really love to see how far he's planning on going right now.
"Stop."
Immediately, Jay pulls back and blinks quickly to get his bearings straight. "What?" he asks, so similarly to how he'd ask her to repeat what he needed to do regarding their yoga flow.
"I-I just…I just need a second," she breathes.
Jay nods and keeps blinking as he stares at her. She hates that she said anything to stop him. His lips are swollen and his pupils are blown out, and she cannot deny that he was enjoying himself. Hell, she was enjoying herself.
And yet he'd stopped.
He didn't argue.
He didn't get one more kiss in.
He stopped.
One hand was still in her hair and the other was still up beneath her bra, but he'd stopped moving, stopped drawing moans out of her, stopped holding her to him.
He listened to her.
The thought alone makes her want to kiss him again and forget everything about Vanessa and the gym and the job and even the fact that they're technically in a public place right now. She makes a mental note to tell him in the future how much this moment means to her right this second and instead chooses to shakily set her hand on the side of his face to stare back at him.
As she brushes her thumb along his bottom lip, she tilts her head to the side and murmurs, "I'm sorry."
He shakes his head and replies, "Don't be. That…that was fast, and-"
"And I just don't want there to be any marks," she interrupts quietly, "No hickeys, no trouble. I don't…" She trails off with a sigh, feeling guilty at what she'd done when his eyes widen slightly and his eyebrows shoot up in question. "I don't want my friends to know what happened. Vanessa's having a hard time with all this, and I don't want to give her any reason to not like you…more than she already feels."
"Oh," Jay breathes. He stares back at her, then his eyes shift down to her throat, and he repeats, "Oh."
She winces and puts a hand over where his lips had been attached to her. "Is it bad?"
"It's…" He gently pulls at her wrist and tilts his head to the side as he studies the hickey on her throat. "It's certainly some of my better work."
With a laugh of disbelief, she shoves his chest and quickly stands up. "You're kidding me."
"No," he laughs, "I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking. That wasn't cool."
She shakes her head and makes her way to the wall of mirrors. Already, her skin is clearly red and irritated, and she knows that it's going to turn into a pretty harsh mark over the next few hours.
"Dammit," she whispers.
"If you wear a shirt, you won't be able to see it," Jay offers, standing up behind her.
She looks at him through the mirror and raises an eyebrow. "And what did we just do together?"
Jay rubs the back of his head and mumbles, "You taught me yoga."
"Yeah," Hailey sighs. She steps closer to the mirror and rubs at her neck. "Shoot. She's going to see."
"Maybe this is dumb, but you can always just wear a shirt when you're teaching your class with her," Jay says.
She purses her lips then shakes her head. Turning back to him, she says, "I usually don't. I…I'm sorry. I know you're trying to help, but-"
"Whoa, hey, no," Jay says as he walks over to her, "You don't have to apologize. I'm the one who did it. I'm sorry. I should have known better. I just got carried away."
Hailey smiles slightly and steps closer to him so that she's able to reach out and place a hand on the side of his face. "Don't apologize. It was fun."
He softens and nods. "It was, wasn't it?"
"And you're right," she sighs, softening in front of him, "I really could just wear a shirt. I'm not bad at covering bruises either."
Jay raises an eyebrow. "What do you mean?"
A chill like the one that had passed over her when he'd placed his frozen hand on her neck darts through her, but this time, it's much darker, much colder at the second reminder of her past in just the last twenty minutes. Bringing it up, though, would mean certainly killing the mood even more than what she'd already done by stopping Jay moments before. She couldn't do that again.
"I just mean that-that I've done it before," she explains, "I don't always love questions if I show up to class with a visible bruise from running into a table or being clumsy or even from a guy, so I've covered them up with make-up before. That's all."
Jay stares back at her, and she knows he's skeptical. She'd be skeptical if she were him. But she doesn't need him worrying about her, not right now, not when things were just going so well.
And she wants those good things to continue. She'd love for them to do this again, maybe even somewhere a bit more comfortable with less of a chance of someone walking in. Her friends were clearly against this, and she knows she and Jay have both been in agreement that they'd be professional through it all, but that doesn't mean that they can't hide any of their feelings when they're in front of the others. It'd certainly be possible to continue seeing each other outside of the renovation and have a repeat of today - all while remaining rather casual. Strong feelings for each other could mess things up, but occasional kissing and fooling around? It could work.
She wants that worried look to disappear from Jay's face, so she takes a deep breath and steps closer to him to say, "I know we said we shouldn't go past friends, but maybe…maybe we just keep at this?"
Jay softens immediately, and a smirk teases his lips as he relaxes in front of her. "You mean like keep at these private lessons?"
Hailey laughs and nods, thankful that any awkwardness has gone away. Brushing her thumb over his jaw, she asks, "What do you think of that? It could be a compromise of sorts."
"A compromise?" Jay repeats with a chuckle, "So we're ignoring your friends' wishes and my dad's demands and-"
"Your dad's demands?" she interrupts, "What're you talking about?"
Jay blushes and the awkwardness seems to dart from her gut to his as he rubs the back of his neck again and shrugs. "Uh, he just…he warned me about getting involved with you too. He's worried that it could affect the job."
Hailey lets out a breath and nods. "Like what Vanessa thinks."
"Yeah," Jay quietly admits, "I'm sorry. I'm the one who sort of started it all over there too, so it's not like I was listening to him either."
She shakes her head and sets her free hand in the center of his chest. His heart thumps beneath her palm, and the feeling makes her smile and relax.
"So maybe it's less of a compromise and more of a secret mission?" she says softly.
Jay laughs and tucks a strand of hair behind her ear, curling his fingers around her jaw and sending a shiver through her. "I guess we could say that," he says, "Or we just say we're hiding from them and call it good."
She smiles. "Sounds less fun that way."
"Maybe," he chuckles.
Staring up at him, she decides that this is exactly what she wants to do. It would have been too hard to completely ignore her feelings for Jay, and that would have potentially led to bitterness toward her friends. This way, they can sneak away and release any of their feelings for even just a few minutes before returning to work. It'd definitely lead to less tension in the room, and that will surely make everything easier.
"We don't have to date," she offers, "It could just be…this." Patting his chest lightly, she nods to herself and continues, "Yeah, just…just you and me and-and whatever we need whenever we need it. Not over the top so that our friends and your dad find out, but enough to keep us happy. What do you say?"
Jay raises an eyebrow, but holds back a smirk as he looks down at her. "That…" She copies his expression, and he lets out a laugh. "Fine. Fine. Yeah, I will agree to your plan because I really do like hanging out with you, Hailey, and I wouldn't mind doing more of it in the future - whether that be just talking or doing yoga or another one of these private lessons."
She laughs loudly and shakes her head. "It sounds a bit wrong."
"Oh, it's very wrong," Jay laughs, "But I'm not calling it a secret mission, sorry."
Laughing, she smiles up at him and shrugs. "It sounded right."
He chuckles and says, "Maybe." Leaning down, he hesitates for a brief second then catches her lips in his. It's short, but long enough to make her lose her breath and sink against him, tangling her fingers within his shirt. "And that sounded better than shaking on the agreement," he whispers when he pulls back.
She breathily laughs and nods, stepping backwards. "I gotta agree with you there."
Jay smiles back at her and brushes the backs of his fingers once more over her cheek before taking a step back as well. "No dates and no visible marks, but yes to private lessons whether they're about yoga or construction?"
"Yes," she laughs softly, "I'm looking forward to it."
Jay chuckles and winks at her. "Perfect. I am too."
Hailey's smile widens, and any tension in her shoulders releases as she lets out a breath.
A not-relationship with the guy that she would certainly love a relationship with. She's read enough romance books to know all the different ways that this could end, but she really doesn't care right now.
She's too happy - and far too excited - to give it any further thought.
A/N: Thoughts? :) I'd love to hear what you think of their agreement going forward! That being said, I'll be going on vacation for spring break coming up, so the next update won't be until April 7. I'll see you then!